Living A Course in Miracles...If your purpose is healing, you are beginning to train your mind to see things differently. But if you think that your purpose is to get your way and

Living A Course in Miracles

Healing Anger & Hurt Week 5 Class

David Fishman with Jennifer Hadley

Living A Course in Miracles

David Fishman with Jennifer Hadley

Healing Anger & Hurt ................................................................................................. 4

Opening Prayer .............................................................................................................. 4

Healing Anger & Hurt .................................................................................................... 5

Understanding Our Purpose for Being Here ................................................................... 6

Do I Want to Be Right or Happy? .................................................................................... 7

I Am Never Upset for the Reason I Think ....................................................................... 9

We Give Meaning to the Meaningless ......................................................................... 11

Taking Responsibility Is Where the Power Lies ........................................................... 12

Our Defenses Keep Us Imprisoned ............................................................................... 15

Quieting the Mind Is Most Effective in Letting Go ........................................................ 16

The Atonement of Correction of Perception ................................................................ 18

Being Right Is the Ego’s Way of Winning .................................................................... 19

We Will Be Treated Unfairly in This World ................................................................. 21

Identifying with the Body Causes Grief ........................................................................ 22

Apply the Principles to Know the Truth ...................................................................... 24

Oneness Cannot Be Understood By the Ego ................................................................. 25

Only You Can Release Ego Concepts ........................................................................... 26

Three Lessons of Holy Spirit ........................................................................................ 27

We Must Heal Our Attitude ......................................................................................... 29

Offerings From ACIM Gather ....................................................................................... 31

Closing Prayer ............................................................................................................. 32

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Healing Anger & Hurt 4

Week 5

Healing Anger & Hurt David Fishman & Jennifer Hadley Thursday, October 4, 2012

Opening Prayer

Jennifer Let us begin. I’m going to invite everyone to place their hand on their heart and take a breath here. We've got David Fishman from ACIM Gather is with us. Welcome, David.

David Thank you so much.

Jennifer Let’s bless ourselves and bless the whole world right here, right now taking a breath together, anchoring ourselves in gratitude, so grateful and so thankful that the love of God is all that there is. And we're remembering that. How wonderful.

We're so grateful and so thankful to remember that the peace of God is ours right now. And no matter what our experience has been in the past, we are awake and available. We are alert to love.

Love is our true identity. We're giving thanks for that right now. And we're truly opening ourselves for a healing, opening ourselves to receive and to share the benefits of a profound healing, true healing, lasting healing.

We're grateful and thankful right now to accept our healing fully and completely and we let it be. And so it is. Amen.

David Amen.

Jennifer Amen, Amen. David, I'm just going to say you need to pay attention to when you're breathing in your microphone there.

David Okay.

David Fishman with Jennifer Hadley 5

Healing Anger & Hurt

Jennifer Yep. All right, so Healing Anger & Hurt… Now, I don't know about you, David, but this is something I've had a lot more experience with than I would have liked to have. But now I get to share the benefits with everyone.

Have you personally noticed a shift in whether or not you get angry, and what angers you, and that kind of thing in your life?

David Oh, yes, sure. The word ballistic, I have definitely gone ballistic. And I must say that most of that has really been behind me. And it does come from… I was speaking just a little bit earlier. It comes from willingness to accept what is.

And that does take training of the mind. As A Course in Miracles says, “An untrained mind can accomplish nothing,” because if you're not training your mind to see that what is in front of you is actually what you have asked for, and you have received exactly as you have asked, you will have knee jerk reactions.

And of course, an extreme knee jerk reaction is getting really angry very fast, ballistic. The whole idea of anger in the Course, it says a couple things about it. It says anger is never justified. It doesn't say not to get angry. It’s just not justified. There's no real reason for it.

But then it tells you in another place. It says, “We get angry to project guilt out onto others,” to estrange people, to estrange our relationships, to push them away, to kind of cast blame on them for the way things are happening to me.

And it’s not easy to do that with a computer but it’s very easy to do it with someone who has said something, or done something, that you don't like.

Jennifer Yeah. Now, I'll tell you that anger is never justified is such a powerful teaching. And it’s meant so much to me. And for many people when they hear that anger is never justified, it can feel to them like just another thing to make them angry, because many people feel like they can't help but get angry, because things are upsetting.


So, from that perspective, from someone who feels like they get angry all the time and their knee jerk reaction is frustration, irritation, which is a form of anger, what would you say to them that can help them understand what that really means, anger is never justified? How can they work with that without feeling spiritually stupid?

David Well, I think you have to really go deeper than any one circumstance. Like if you just look at one circumstance, and you're going to say, “Well, of course I have the right to be angry at this thing. I mean look at what somebody did.”

You have to look at, what is your real purpose for being here? What’s the purpose for actually being here in this world? And it does take great learning to recognize that all events, all situations, circumstances and events are actually helpful to your healing.

Understanding Our Purpose for Being Here

If your purpose is healing, you are beginning to train your mind to see things differently. But if you think that your purpose is to get your way and to, basically, feel that you want it your way rather than someone else’s way, you will go through a lot of anger.

And there's really very little that anyone can actually say to you. I would say you have to take a look at what is it that you're here for? What’s the purpose of this? Am I getting angry because I didn't get my way again? And what does that actually tell me?

That my purpose is really to be special and to get my way, or am I really here, instead of wanting to be right about something, I'm really here to heal. That's my real purpose.

And I think that once a person looks at what their purpose is, I do think the rest begins to sort itself out. But until you get there, it doesn't really matter what any one situation is. You can always talk about something specific, and that's not going to help you in the next situation.

Jennifer You're so right about that. And this is the thing about healing that I have found. And I'm curious to know what you think, David. I've experienced profound, miraculous, breathtaking healing.


And I've experienced it, not just in my own life and my own heart and mind, but I've participated in it with many, many, many people, and assisting them in getting that deep, deep healing, that when you set out on this journey it seems that it’s impossible.

It just seems impossible. And it seems impossible because we don't know how to have a healing. But we can figure out how to choose love no matter what, and that is the task at hand. And that is what brings the healing.

Love is the healer. And I think that a huge part of what we're offering in this class, week after week, with all of these different teachers sharing their own personal healing experiences, it’s about how they developed the ability to be committed to consistency.

And I wonder if you can share? You talk about, you've gone ballistic, you know?

David Oh, yes, I have.

Jennifer Me, too. And I'm curious now. If you were going to tell your own personal story of healing anger and hurt, what would you share with us?

Do I Want to Be Right or Happy?

David Well, I guess there's two ways of looking at anything that happens. In the Course, Jesus kind of says it three times, “Do you want to be right, or do you want to heal?” Or, “Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?” And I guess to heal is to make happy. And if you're happy you are healed.

But what happens when you go through any of these ballistic experiences, you can actually get to be right for a very long time by telling your story over and over and say, “You know? If it wasn't for that particular person, and whatever that particular experience is, it could have gone differently,” and always kind of place the blame outside, externally.

At that level, there's really not too much that can be said. A person has to be willing to become cause in the matter, to become


responsible. And as you know, responsibility for sight, which you find in Chapter 21, Section II, it actually says that this one idea would actually heal all of your hurts and your pains, and everything from one idea that I am responsible, and to acknowledge that you are mistaken, and all effects of your mistakes will disappear.

So, until I get to the place where I am willing, and it does take practice, it just doesn't happen overnight. It does take practice to look at each, and every, event and to say, “What is this for?”

If you ask honestly… And that, for me as you know, is consistency. If you ask on a consistent basis, “What did I go through this for? What is the purpose of this?” And actually, everything is actually helpful to you, as it says in Trust.

It says, “It takes great learning to recognize that all situations, all circumstances and all events are helpful to you. And only to the degree that they're helpful should any degree of reality be given to them.”

If you see this world as a classroom, which I do, and as a matter of fact, everything that happens is an opportunity to look at your own defenses, the things that you've been kind of avoiding, or protecting yourself from, or actually using to separate yourself from others, those defenses will keep attracting the same kinds of situations.

Oh, yes, it will be a different person, a different form, but they will happen over and over again until you begin to release yourself from your own defense system.

As you know, “If I defend myself, I am attacked,” Lesson 135. And then it assists the Lesson 153, “In my defenselessness my safety lies.” It’s our own defenses that actually hurt us, not what somebody is doing.

Jennifer Right, yep. Well said, very beautiful. Now, just asking you again, David, from your own personal experience, can you share a story of your healing?

David Sure. Something happened right here at ACIM Gather. One day I guess I made an announcement that I was going to give over the running of Gather to someone that I had chosen. There was dissention and there was feeling that, “Well, you know? I thought you were going to choose


me instead of that particular person.” I did go ballistic right here at ACIM Gather. That was only about three, four years ago.

And, of course, as you're going through it, you know what you're doing. You know that you basically lost it while you're going through it. Of course, if you're aware that you lost it when you're going through it, you're already halfway awake.

But then when it’s over, you do take a look and say, “What is it that this has come into my life to teach me?” And when you can't really accept what is in front of you, your resistance to acceptance will actually always boomerang and cause the upset and the anger.

I Am Never Upset for the Reason I Think

And, of course, as you know, Lesson 5, “I'm never upset for the reason I think.” So, when you look at any specific thing like what I just went through and told you the specific thing and someone says, “Well, jeez, I'm not going to ever do that,” but we all go through our own specific thing.

But underneath it, it’s because we haven’t really been willing to let go of being right that I want it my way. In this world, there's going to be a lot of times you're not going to have it your way. And if you see the world as a place where you are going to have it your way, you probably have a lot of those kinds of situations and circumstances where things won't go your way.

Jennifer Don't you think though, David, that part of our spiritual maturity, our waking up, is realizing that having it our way is very often the very thing that is not the best for us?

David Of course.

Jennifer Unless we're aligned with the divine, I don't know about you, but I can think of probably 80 million times in my life where I was fighting to get things to be my way. And that was the very thing that was hurting me, was thinking that my way was a good way because I was so completely out of the flow and I was, instead, in the land of controlling and manipulating and trying to make things happen.


David Yes, exactly. When you try to make something happen it will boomerang. The whole world is pretty much about trying to make something happen and things don't go our way.

There is the second part of that sentence, “Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy? Do you want to be right, or do you want to heal? Choose one for you can't have both.”

And many people will say, “Well, why can't I have both? I've been right and happy,” and that's really the arrogance of the ego. The ego does want to be right. And it’s in saying that I'm right and someone else is wrong. Of course, there is no such thing in reality that somebody else is out there and different and wrong from you.

Actually your brother, in a very pure sense, is you. And we do know that as I see my brother I see myself. And you might say that the Golden Rule which is mentioned I think on Page 2 or 3 of the Text, is really one of the basic, bottom line core themes of A Course in Miracles that, “What I give, I give to myself.”

So, if I want to make myself right at my brothers expense, which means sacrifice him so that I can win, that's pretty much my own self-destruction.

It’s self-destructive to keep going in that particular direction. I think most people do come to a place where they say there must be a better way. And I think that's where most people find A Course in Miracles.

Jennifer Yep, yep. You bring up a really important point, David, because I know the way I used to think when I was so aligned with the ego, that I couldn't be happy unless I got my way.

Being happy wouldn't happen unless I was right. So, it wasn't being right or being happy. Being right was the only way to be happy, so I thought.

But I did not understand happiness. Just so you know, one of the things that I feel is an important distinction is, in my Science of Mind training, we talk about happiness is emotion that comes and goes. And joy is a spiritual quality that's infinite and eternal.


And so for me, one of the things that I've shared about in recent weeks in these classes, David, is once I gave up trying to be right about everything and to work my will, then I did discover that there's an unconditional joy that I can tap into, and it is my true identity.

And I can be in joy even when the technology doesn't work and the class is starting and I'm not on it. We can't figure it out and all of that stuff, I'm still in my joy. Hey, you know? It’s quite miraculous that someone I love can be dying and I can still be in the joy. It sounds crazy, but when you really get there you're like, “Oh, my God, this is it. Yeah, this is what I've been working towards.”

We Give Meaning to the Meaningless

David Yes. And as you're saying, you brought up a few things that I would like to add here. We get to be right when we give meaning to things that are really meaningless. And the arrogance of the ego is to think that it knows what the meaning of everything is, like this should have happened because I give meaning to it.

Lesson 25, “I do not know what anything is for,” was for me a basic mantra lesson that I actually did for the last six or seven years as a way of cleaning out all the meanings that you give that are really meaningless.

As you let go of the meanings that you give to the meaningless, the ego doesn't have very much to hang onto anymore, so when something happens you begin to smile and laugh at it.

You really look at it and you realize that, I used to give a lot of meaning to this, and I don't really give the same meaning I used to. It’s not there for me anymore, so what am I going to be arguing for, argue about nothing?

Richard Bach once said in the book Illusions, “We argue for our own limitations.”

Jennifer Yes.

David Yes, so acceptance to me is forgiveness. And acceptance is the exact opposite of giving meaning to the meaningless.


Jennifer Well said, very well said. It’s interesting. As you were sharing, I was thinking I was just at the Kalani retreat center here on the Big Island of Hawaii. It’s fantastic.

And Gary Renard has taught a lot of retreats here. And David Hoffmeister has as well. And he and I are doing a retreat here in February. And he just bought a house a half a mile down the road. And I was over there having lunch.

And he was laughing, showing me where the tree had fallen down on one of the buildings, the shed for his house, and how the phone line has been down, and just laughing at all of these things that another person would say, “Oh, well. This is a terrible inconvenience. These things aren't working the way I thought they would.”

It’s amazing how it seems like an absolute paradox. But when you're willing to take personal responsibility for everything that's happening in your life, or at least for your response to it and your complicitness in bringing it forth, your experience of the world of effects, when you begin to take responsibility and say, “This is meant for me. I’m not a victim here. I am the dreamer of the dream.” When you move into that space, it’s amazing how when you take responsibility, you can learn to not take anything personally, even though you're taking responsibility for it. How amazing is that?

Taking Responsibility Is Where the Power Lies

David What you are saying is so true. When you were talking, I was thinking that's our integrity. To be responsible and to be cause is actually where all the power is.

And there's a wonderful line that Jesus gives in Chapter 21, VII, The Last Unanswered Question, when he says, “Can't you see that all of your misery,” like 100% of it, “comes from your strange belief that you are powerless?”

So, when you're taking responsibility and you become cause, that's where the power is. And the arrogance of the ego is it doesn't want to show all of its cards. It doesn't want to be transparent, so it must keep projecting out onto others what it is that it doesn't want you to see.


And it doesn't want you to see within yourself, but it basically gives you eyes to see others, ears to hear others and a brain that interprets all that for you, as the ego thought system would have you see and hear.

And it’s always to place blame outside of yourself. And I was talking about this just recently. Even with all the practice that we do, and I know that anyone that's doing the Course is doing it on a pretty much… I'll use the word religious practice basis where this is an everyday practice.

Jennifer Yeah.

David It still doesn't mean that when something happens, you can almost feel that kneejerk reaction to see blame in another. You don't blurt it out. You don't say it anymore, but your mind goes there, but you don't have to believe your thoughts anymore.

In other words, you see it there and thoughts basically, in Lesson 4, “The thoughts in my mind are as meaningless as the things I see here in this room.” But you see the thoughts, but you don't have to act them out anymore.

I think I like that line by Aristotle that said, “An educated mind is one that can entertain the thought but not act on it.” It doesn't have to mean that you invest in it and buy into it. You see it.

Jennifer Right.

David So, that kneejerk reaction may still be there, but you don't have to act on it.

Jennifer That's right. For me, my mind… I’m a Sagittarius and I've got so much Scorpio in my chart it’s much more dominant than the Sagittarius. And the Scorpio, what does it do? It just attacks. If it feels threatened, it attacks.

And that is so ingrained in my mental patterns that, if there's any sense of threat at all, my mind just goes right to attack thoughts. You talked about the kneejerk reaction going to blame. And to me, it’s thoughts of lack and attack.

And it is. It’s such a reaction. And many people feel that it’s absolutely hopeless, that they have no power over that. And because they feel they


have no power over it, in a certain sense, they give up. They don't even try.

And I love that you shared that wonderful part from Chapter 21, Section VII about the incredible craziness, the strange belief that you are powerless when, indeed, you are the one.

For the people who feel so angry, I just want to say, “I get it.” I don't know about you, David, but I used to be an incredibly angry person. Like anger was my status quo. I was just always pissed off all the time.

And I used to look for things to take offense at, and be angry about, because otherwise I was just angry. So, I would look for things to be angry about so I could express this tremendous anger that I felt.

And I spent years working on it and healing it. And I didn't know then what I know now. If I did, I would have healed it much, much, much faster.

The thing for people to know, I think, out of this class, David, is that no matter how paralyzed by anger you feel, no matter how much rage you feel, or how hurt you feel because I know that there are people who are participating in this class who have been brutally hurt on a physical level, on an emotional level, on a financial level, people who have been viciously hurt by loved ones who were supposed to take care of them and protect them, betrayed by friends and loved ones…

I don't know if you've had any of that experience. I definitely have. And you can still have true healing, lasting transformation at the most miraculous and profound level that it’s hard to even believe.

But your willingness to practice, use the Workbook and practice it so that every time that rage wells up in you, you're calling upon the Holy Spirit. You're saying, “I'm not a victim anymore. This can be healed. This can be healed and I'm going to share the benefits of my healing with everyone because all of our minds are joined.”

I just wanted to really say that to people because, especially when it comes to this hurt and the anger, and next week we're going to talk about depression with David Hoffmeister, it’s so debilitating that you really feel hopeless.


I don't know about you, David. Have you ever had a time in your life where you felt completely hopeless, like you literally were feeling suicidal, or just depressed?

David Well, yes. Basically even going back to the time I had my first spiritual rebirth, which I was 32 at the time. That was some years ago. Basically, I'd say at this point… Of course I was in a completely different mindset at that time. You feel like what’s there to live for, basically?

Our Defenses Keep Us Imprisoned

And I even say to this particular moment that if what was given to me, which was this cleansing which did happen after not sleeping literally for 24 hours and my defenses were down.

Because your defenses are what actually keep us imprisoned. And as you're probably aware, back in those days they used to have marathon encounters.

And the marathon encounter started after 24 hours of not sleeping because people’s defenses were down. And instead of seeing things outside of them as something that was doing something to them, when your defenses are down, you do go within. And, of course, you know the Course is about looking within.

And I saw how I had done this to myself and I had tried to not hurt others. I was always hurting myself. And I was really at the end of my rope.

I say to this day, that if I didn't have what I guess is sometimes called a peak experience in which there was really hours of crying, which is the purification. As you know the Course says, “Miracles are everyone’s right, but the purification is necessary first.”

So, the purification at that stage in my life was a letting go of all the poisons and toxins that I had accumulated along the way. Now, these things will happen to you on a natural basis if, as a matter of fact, your purpose is actually to heal.


Once you choose healing as your purpose, everything will be given to you in a natural way. You don't actually have to really scour and search in books looking for things.

Actually, if it’s in a book it will be shown to you. In other words, you'll open up the exact right book at the exact right page and it will be right there. So, everything will be given to you. You don't have to scour for it, search for it, seek, seek and chase and chase. It will be given to you.

But it’s really what your purpose is. And I must say, back then that wasn't my purpose, but I did come to what Jon Mundy calls crash and burn. I really had come to a crash and burn. And I say that probably, that if it didn't happen then, I probably would be probably laying on some sidewalk there in New York City and I would have been completely gone.

But it did happen. And then the transformation that happened, I had this peak experience which was a whole different world. I mean everything flowed. Everything went naturally for weeks, even months. And then I lost it. And then I started searching for it.

I started wondering if anyone had that experience. And exactly as I said, the book that fell into my hands was Ram Dass’ book Be Here Now. I said, “Oh, yes. Someone else has the same experience.” And that was back in 1972, ’73.

I found the Course in ’77 but it was really EST and Werner Erhard that really got me to recognize how the ego… which is really the thoughts you're listening to in your mind.

Quieting the Mind Is Most Effective in Letting Go

I must say that quieting your mind and stilling your mind is probably the most effective way of letting go of your defenses because someone asked me today, “Well, what do you mean by defenses?”

And I'll use the word gross level. Defenses are like a program to kind of make boundaries and this is mine and that is yours, but that's at a very gross level.


At a subtle level, we don't recognize that our defenses are the thoughts in our mind that busy our mind out that say, “Oh, yeah, that's what that means and that's what this means.” Your mind is being constantly busied out.

And as you know in Lesson 189 where it says, “I feel the love of God within me now,” it says “Simply do this. Be still. Do not take with you one thought you've ever learned about yourself or God.”

He’s asking to let go of anything you ever thought was true or real or good or right, anything you’re ever ashamed of. Let it all go. That is where we are responsible for the purification process.

The 50 Miracle Principles, only Number 7 is what we are responsible for. Number 7 says, “Miracles are everyone’s right, but purification is necessary first.”

And that's pretty much the same as the beginning of the Course where he says, “Your task is not to seek and find love. That's beyond the scope of this Course.” But it is about removing the blockages to your awareness of love’s presence.

And those blockages are just the thoughts that are constantly bubbling up like from a glass of champagne. And the ego just bubbles up these thoughts and they are really meaningless, but we're invested in them. We actually believe in them. And that’s what weakens us.

Jennifer You're so dead on. I'm so glad you brought up the purification because this is one of the main things that I share about. It’s one of the main focuses.

I have a yearlong class called Masterful Living. And it’s a practical, mystical healing class. And it’s a year long because people will learn something for a few weeks and then they bail.

That's one of the reasons why A Course in Miracles is 365 lessons. And you can take however many years you’d like to complete those 365 lessons.

And it is about cultivating that willingness to be consistent and the commitment to be willing. So, it is all about truly valuing purification. And so now I know what I say about that, but when you're talking


about purification, or when the Course is talking about purification, why don't you just share a little bit more, David, about what are we purifying. What is impure?

David We were talking about the thoughts that I got from my mind at any given time. What I have noticed, there are many people who feel that learning the Course from a metaphysical point of view, like knowing all the metaphysics of the Course, is important.

And Jesus actually speaks to that in the Introduction to the Clarification of Terms, Page 77 in the manual. He says, “I'm really not interested in the philosophical speculation,” which in other words for the metaphysics, or in precise terminology, “I'm only interested in correction of perception, or the atonement.”

The Atonement of Correction of Perception

And the atonement of correction of perception can only happen when we stop believing any of the thoughts that we have. Accepting the atonement is recognizing that I'm really wrong about everything, that all the thoughts I've ever believed in, or think is true.

And that's what He’s basically saying. “He says, “Simply do this. Be still. Do not take with you one thought that you've ever learned about yourself or God. Nothing you ever thought was true or good.”

Those are the thoughts that are constantly going through our head. So, in the purification at the subtlest level, which is really in Chapter 29 Section VIII, which is called the Anti-Christ, and I kind of avoided that section for a long time just because of the title. I kind of danced around it.

But finally when I finally looked at it, it’s really a comical section because He starts out by actually saying, “Do you think you know what idols are? Do you think you know what their purpose is?”

He’s really saying “I know that you don't.” And of course I thought I knew what idols were, but actually idols are things that are so subtle you don't even recognize them.


There’s a three word sentence, one of my favorite three word sentences in the Course, He says, “Illusions are investments.” You find that in Text, Chapter 7, Section VII, Paragraph 4. And if you're invested in believing any real thoughts, you are probably slave and hostage to the ego thought system.

I know it sounds kind of crazy, but the world, Jesus says, is crazy. And if you believe in the thoughts that are going through your head, and that's the way to really quiet your mind.

The very first lesson in Part 2 of the Workbook He says in Lesson 221, “Peace to my mind. Let me still my thoughts.” So, we're responsible for anything. It’s not believing in our own thoughts anymore, because if I'm invested in my thoughts, I'm going to believe in the illusion. It’s just that simple.

But we are responsible for withdrawing our belief in our own thoughts. That begins to still the mind. That begins to purify the mind. That's how I see the purification process.

Jennifer Do you have a method for stilling your mind that works for you?

Being Right Is the Ego’s Way of Winning

David Yes, Lesson 25 literally is the one which I said I use as a mantra lesson. I had been doing the Course for a good 27 years when I said to myself, “You know something, Dove? You really think you're right about a lot of things, and it really gets you into a lot of hot water.”

And being right is the ego’s entire way of winning at the expense of another. So, somehow I took a look at Lesson 25. I guess it was shown to me to do it. And if you look at the first three words, the first three words in Lesson 25, He says, “Purpose is meaning.” It’s the only place in the Course where He says purpose is meaning. It’s like an equation.

He’s telling you only a purpose has meaning. Nothing else has any meaning. And then He goes onto the rest of Lesson 25 and He says, “Basically, you don't know what anything is for.”

And every time in the last seven years something came up and I thought I knew what something was for, when I could remember that


was my practice, I would say, “I really don't know what this is for.” And you ask, as He says in Chapter 4, Section V, “Ask of all things in this world, what is it for,” because you don't really know, because you've given meaning to the meaningless.

He tells you that in all the early, early lessons. So, that's how you still your mind because as long as you think something means something, when it goes through your mind, you're going to attach a value to it and it never had any value whatsoever, none.

Lesson 133 will tell you, “That which begins in time and ends in time doesn't have any value to you, but you have valued it,” you actually think it means something, but it doesn't.

And if I have something that another doesn't have, or another has something that I don't have, whatever it I'm valuing doesn't have any value. Either it’s shared by all equally or has no value whatsoever.

We give value to things that have no value. And that's how you begin to still your mind.

Jennifer You know, as you're speaking, David, one of the things that comes into my awareness is part of why we get so angry, we go ballistic about so many things, and then sometimes people turn that anger inward and it can become depression and a deep sadness, is because we are fighting for the meaning that we've given to things.

David Yes, exactly.

You know that, “Oh, I need this in order to be happy.” I'm fighting for that. And, on a spiritual level, I know that putting my energy, my physical, mental, emotional, spiritual energy into fighting for the meaning I've made of things thinking that I'm right, is the exact opposite of what my healing is.

And part of why there's this incredible anger is really because we're afraid. We are so lost. We've so mis-valued that which is truly valuable, that we are not going to find our way back.

Underneath the anger is this deep-seated fear that, “I'm out of my mind and out of my depth and I don't know how to get back.” But the truth of the matter is, if we are willing to know the truth


then the truth will be shown to us, and it will set us free because the truth is our real nature.

It is the reality. And as soon as we're willing to value that which has true value, everything else will begin to recede. But it’s truly being vigilant only for God.

David Yes. What is your purpose? Purpose, there's a place in the Course where He says, “We are joined in purpose only.” You cannot be joined in anything else. You can't get people to do A Course in Miracles, or anything else.

Everyone has their own path, but we all share the same purpose. Everyone is here really to awaken from this dream of forgetfulness. And it’s very, very, very important to remember that everyone is here with you, and for you, and that things are not going against you.

The ego will always see things going against you. As you know, especially in Chapter 4, Section V, first paragraph, He says, “All things happen for the greater good.” This is always true except in the judgment of the ego.

We Will Be Treated Unfairly in This World

The ego, of course, doesn't see anything as happening for it. But you can't blame the ego at all. We made it that way. We actually set out… I think that one line where He says, “Beware of the temptation to see yourself unfairly treated,” He says that because He knows that in this world you will be unfairly treated.

And that will, obviously, piss a lot of people off that, why is this happening to me? But we made a world where there is inequality, where there is inequality which basically Jesus would say very clearly, “You’re wanting to be special and your faith in specialness and making some people more special than others and excluding some is actually the basis of all the world’s illness, sickness and ills.

He tells you that in Lesson 187, “I bless the world as I bless myself.” And He says, “Never forget. You can only give to yourself.” So,


whenever you exclude anyone, which is basically sacrifice which is another word for specialness, you're basically dividing yourself up.

And, of course, division is the idea of separation. And healing is the idea of oneness. And one is true and the other is not.

Jennifer You've brought up something that I know is going to help support a lot of people in their healing, David. So, beware the temptation to think yourself unfairly treated. And, boy is it tempting. Boy, is it tempting, right? Like when somebody cuts you off in traffic, which is the national pastime in Los Angeles where I'm from.

But to take it to the extreme, let’s say someone has been brutally hurt, physically hurt by a loved one. People are raped and sexually attacked. And other people are really devastated by just like you think of things like Enron and many absolutely devastating financial things that happened to people in the last few years.

They feel that they're being unfairly treated. And they can get thousands of people to agree with them, “Oh, my gosh. Yes, you've totally been unfairly treated.”

And very often when we believe that we have been unfairly treated, then we become the defense attorney for the ego and we start gathering the evidence, “You see, look. Over here these people agree that I've been unfairly treated. And I wrote a letter to the editor, and they think I'm unfairly treated.” And we can just collect all kinds of evidence.

And we often do to make the case. We become the attorney for the ego, arguing for our defense. But yet even in those extreme cases where someone has been brutally hurt, in one way or another, even then it is so hard to imagine that, even this is for my good.

That's where we have to go into faith and say, “I can't figure it out from where I sit because all I can think is I'm unfairly treated.” I have to be willing to let the spirit show me.

Identifying with the Body Causes Grief

David Mmhmm. As you're speaking, it’s coming to me that it has been said that the only problem is an identity problem. And when we identify


with this body, when we identify with the small me, the small self, you will go through all kinds of grief and pain and feeling that you've been unfairly treated.

And the ego, I call the ego the dirty cop. The dirty cop is one who knows exactly where to get all the evidence that you have been unfairly treated. And it will actually put you through the ringer and you'll have all those stories.

But it does take your willingness to say, “My only purpose is to heal my mind, to remember who I am.” And as you know, the goal of the Course is to remember who we truly are in truth. So it is an identity problem.

While I identify with my little small self, there's not a lot that anyone can say. The person has to be willing to be responsible to be cause and say, “I'm done with this.”

In fact, recently I came up with a new phrase, “I rest my case.” We all have a case, but if you drag your case with you, it’s like you will never lighten up.

Jennifer That's right. You will never enlighten.

David Yeah, as Ken Wapnick says, the problem was never the original tiny mad idea that I want to be different, I want to be special, I want to not know who I am. That was never the problem. The problem was we took it seriously. We remembered not to laugh.

So, even in Lesson 187 where it says, “I bless the world as I bless myself,” He starts off in Paragraph 6. He actually says, “Never forget. You can only give to yourself. Those who understand what true giving means must laugh at all the forms of this world’s illnesses and sicknesses and pains and hurts.”

And I know that some people don't want to hear that, but the end of that paragraph says, “And in your gentle laughter it is healed.” And when He’s saying that, the Course is telling you that the world is just like a screen out there.

You can't change the world, but you do have dominion over your own mind. It all happens in mind. And as you begin to lighten up and not


take it seriously… And that's only something that you can do. No one can do it for you.

Even though I say words that may seem to be, “Well, that sounds right,” unless a person is practicing this on a daily basis, it’s in the practice.

Apply the Principles to Know the Truth

And as you know in the introduction to the Course, He says some of this stuff you won't believe, you won't accept, but none of that really matters. It’s just in your willingness to apply these ideas, to practice them that you realize that they are true. It’s in practice.

Jennifer It is. It is. David Hoffmeister gave us this term in the last Living A Course in Miracles series, because the class that we did last time with him was that it’s all about spiritual practice. And it’s 1% your knowledge of principle and 99% your practice of it.

David Yes.

Jennifer And the ego doesn't want to hear that because the ego wants to be able to go and sit at the feet of the guru and have a healing. It’s like you're going to have a healing because you've got a good seat at the feet of the guru.

David Yes.

Jennifer And it would be nice if you could have that kind of magical experience and have a healing, but it’s not that. It’s not that. I was just going to say, you brought up Jesus. So, you can have an experience like the people who had miraculous healing experiences around Jesus.

But what did he say to them in every case? When they said, “Thank you, Jesus, for my healing,” He always said to them the same exact thing.

He never said, “Oh, you're very welcome. That will be $20.” He always said, “Why thank me? Your faith made you whole,” or some version of that.


It was always, no, no, no. It’s your faith that made you whole. And it wasn't the faith the person had in Jesus. It was the really in the Christ presence that He represented because He really represented it.

And the Christ presence is available for us all. It was embodied by Jesus, and I believe He worked very hard to embody it and attain that. And He also said, “Even more shall you do. Even more shall you do.”

And this is for us to do. And there's so many spiritual seekers who are, I think, in secret they're confused in secret. They are dismayed in secret. They feel that they're missing the mark. They don't know why it’s so hard for them, or why are these things happening to them when they're so spiritual.

But the bottom line is that everybody’s curriculum is perfectly designed for them. So, even though it seems incredible that someone’s curriculum would include being paralyzed, or it would include being raped.

Oneness Cannot Be Understood By the Ego

But we can't understand it from our perspective. It’s not possible. It’s like I interviewed Ken Wapnick for my radio show, and you were a guest on the radio show recently. And I asked Ken, I said, “Ken, how do you explain the oneness of all life?” And he said, “Oh, Jennifer, you can't explain it.” It’s too vast. It’s impossible for us to understand it, so you just have to accept it on faith.

And so this is where our work is, when the ego mind wants to understand it, and it can't be understood with the ego mind.

David Right.

Jennifer We have to rest that case.

David Yeah. Something you said here earlier, the idea that someone’s going to do it for me. And there was this wonderful line in the Song Of Prayer, which of course is part of A Course in Miracles on Page 19. And He calls it healing to separate, very much like forgiveness to destroy.

He says, how is it possible that you think that you can go and sit at the feet of someone who’s wiser than you, who knows more than you, who


knows more than you and get from them what it is you think that you're going to be getting from them? He uses a four word question which I love, “How can that be?” that you can start out by being unequal and become equal and perfect? It can never happen. You must be willing to actually be responsible and be cause in your own healing.

It’s like my lessons that happen for me are not your lessons. And your lessons are not mine. And you can go to any guru and they go through their stuff the same thing as you have to go through your stuff. But we are each responsible for our own purification.

Only You Can Release Ego Concepts

No one can do that for you. There's a wonderful line in the Course that says, “This Course can be said to be an escape from concepts.” So, whenever you go to listen to a guru, or someone who’s going to give you something that you think that you don't have, that will keep you in the same place. And basically they're going to be giving the ego what it wants which is more concepts, because the ego loves concepts.

It’s only our willingness to let go of the concepts. And no one can really do that for you. Only you can do this for yourself. I just wanted to share that at this point.

Jennifer Yeah, well, I'm so glad you did because we've just got a couple minutes left here in our hour. I want to reiterate what you said about you have to purify yourself.

And also I loved what you shared just now, David, because if speaking to the people who are listening to the class, if you're trying to get a healing, if you're trying to get a healing, like go somewhere and get it, if you're trying to get a healing, you are aligned with the ego.

David Exactly.

Jennifer Because the ego is always looking to get something. The ego does not understand it already has.

David That is so important, by the way.

Jennifer It’s so important because many people are going all over the place trying to get a healing, on some level, a financial healing. If they could


just find the right system to make money, or if they could just find the right thing to heal the body, or heal the depression, or whatever it is.

And I know we've strayed a little bit from anger, but the thing is, what makes people feel so frustrated and angry and so hurt is, in part, it is that they're looking to get something and they can look until the end of their days.

David That is so true. And I want you to know that’s one of the most powerful things. I’m glad you brought it up because I'm glad it’s happening during my session.

The idea of trying to get something is just enabling the ego, the ego that always comes from lack, always comes from the thinking that someone else has what it needs, or it wants.

And actually there's a line in the Course that actually says that you actually think that your brother stole it from you and you're going to get it back.

Three Lessons of Holy Spirit

But in the three lessons of the Holy Spirit which you'll find in the Text, Chapter 6, Section V in A, B and C, of course, A is, “To have, give all to all,” and it says, “This one lesson reverses all of the laws of this world.”

But in B, “Teach peace to learn peace.” Teach peace to have it. He actually says, “The very first step in the undoing process,” or the healing process, “Is to stop the getting habit.” And He says that because he knows that as long as we think that we lack, as long as we think that someone has what we do not have, we're always going to be chasing.

And that's, of course, the ego’s mantra. It’s seek and do not find. Just keep chasing and chasing and chasing. You can go on forever. So, finally you say, “Wait, there must be a better way.”

Jennifer Yes. And many people feel really, really angry because… or so it seems. They think that they're angry because they don't have. And they don't know how to get, so they're feeling this deep sense of lack.


And there's also accompanying that, this intense, this hubris, this thought that I should have. It should be easier for me. I should have more this, or more that. I should whatever. There's always a should in there.

And very often when we allow ourselves to entertain these thoughts of should, accompanied with the lack that it should be different than it is, and I'm entitled to the good stuff but I don't have it and I can't figure out how to get it, there's this huge, huge like just such a voracious anger that it’s literally like a black hole. It’s just a monster.

The ego can just be like you talked about, going ballistic. I mean that's no joke. And it does feel like it can literally consume you. And for many of us, I know for me, it did consume me. I was like a rage-aholic.

And for me… And I'll talk a lot about this in the homework class tomorrow morning. If this is what is going on for you, just know if you’re trying to manipulate the chairs on the deck of the Titanic, or the circumstances of your life, to line up so that you're not feeling angry anymore, I just want to say, unequivocally, that will never happen.

You are playing a game that you can never, ever win. The only way that you can be happy and joyful, which is your true identity, is to release your attachment to thinking that you're right about everything.

David Yes, I think what you basically said with the rearranging of the deck chairs, whenever you think you can do behavior modification, which is really form, and you're rearranging form so, “Next time I'm not going to do this,” that's the ego’s plan.

If you look at Lesson 135, “If I defend myself I’m attacked.”

Jennifer Yep.

David It gives you, the 25 paragraphs, the longest lesson in the Course, seven of them are on planning. And of course, whenever the ego plans, it’s always planning for its own defense, “Well next time I'm not going to do this,” or, “The last time I did this, this time I'm not going to do this.”

Basically, we're just building a super fortress. We're just putting one defense on top of another. It’s in my willingness to say, “I do not know


what anything is for,” is when you begin to remove the foundations of that fortress and it starts to crumble in, and of, itself.

But if you handle it at the level of form, you're spinning your wheels. You're going absolutely nowhere and it’s walking on a treadmill. You aren't going anywhere.

We Must Heal Our Attitude

You must be willing to take a look at changing your attitude. That's what Doctor Jerry Jampolsky has the attitudinal healing centers. You have to heal your attitude.

The attitude is, I'm not here to get something. I’m here to heal my mind. I already am the holy son of God, but I have to be willing to remove the blockages that tell me I'm not.

Jennifer As I say all the time, seek first the kingdom which is within, and all else will be added unto you. And for me, I finally really heard that. And once I did then I really just looked at myself and I said, “Jennifer, what part of all else will be added unto you don't you understand?”

It’s like it’s not some of the things you might like to enjoy will be added unto you, free of charge. No, it’s all else, everything that is worth having will be added unto you.

David Yes.

Jennifer And it’s the same as saying what you said in the beginning. I am responsible and all of the effects of the mistakes that you've made will disappear, all of the effects of the mistakes you've made will disappear.

David Right. You have to have courage. You have to have the courage to empower yourself to say, “I am cause in this.” This is a Course in cause and not effect.

And Jesus says, “Please don't ask me to do this for you. What good would it do you even if I could do it? I would be intervening in the most powerful law of the universe, cause and effect.”

And until you recognize the power of your own mind, that you are the cause in everything, you have no power. You're still a victim. And that's


why you get that famous question, “Do you want to be hostage to ego, or host to God. Choose one. You can't have both.”

To be host to God, you must be cause. You must extend as God extends. But the ego, which basically is out to get, and the soul… It says this in Chapter 5, the soul knows the soul getting is meaningless. The soul only knows about giving, extending.

In Lesson 344, the most powerful lesson in the Course in telling you what love and God and mind is, it says, “What I give, I give to myself.” What I give, I give to myself. The more I give, the more I have to give.

And then saying one more thing about what you just said about seek ye first the kingdom, that is the third of the three lessons of the Holy Spirit.

Above all else, be vigilant for God and kingdom. That's “Seek ye first the kingdom…” In other words, be vigilant for removing the blockages and the vestiges of denial and resistance from your mind. Be vigilant for God and the kingdom. Where is God and the kingdom? It’s in the mind of the Son of God.

Jennifer Yes, well we're past time. Obviously, we could go on and on.

David Okay.

Jennifer I love talking with you, David. You're so knowledgeable, and your knowledge truly comes from your practical application, your willingness, your deep desire to know the truth and to live the truth, and to be truly, truly helpful.

We're going to pray out in just a moment. I would like to just ask everybody. Do you have a friend that maybe has issues with anger, with hurt? Next week we're going to talk about depression with David Hoffmeister.

Please let them know about this free class. It really is a practical application of spirituality and really walking the talk and living the love. And these practices truly are deeply healing.

I always get so many e-mails from people who let me know that these classes are making a profound difference in their life. And since they're totally free, if you can share at Facebook and let people know, because


remember, you have 48 hours to listen to the replay for free, totally free. That's our gift to you.

I also just, quickly, I like to do this at the beginning but I didn't get the chance because of the technology. But it’s just letting everybody know, remember you can get unlimited replays for only $67. It’s just about $4 a class. That's our Silver Package. The Gold Package is $87. So, for $20 more you can get all the downloads, the audio downloads and all of the transcripts.

So, you can read and listen at the same time. Make your notes in the transcript. It’s very helpful. And then you might be like a lot of people. They prefer to have the CDs and the bound book delivered to them. They're not downloaders and all of that.

So, we've got a package for everyone, different price points for everybody and these are ways that you can add the classes to your library, have the transcripts, too.

David quoted so much here. He told us where to find everything in the Course. It’s very, very helpful and it’s wonderful to have those recordings in your library and to listen and to share them.

Many people let me know, too, that they buy them for their study groups and share in their study groups, so that's a wonderful way to be truly helpful.

And, David, you have so many resources as ACIM Gather, can you just quickly how they can find those resources and a little bit about what they are?

Offerings From ACIM Gather

David Oh, yes. They can go to the website, ACIMGather.org and on the bottom right of the home page it will give you the access instructions on how to get to our Internet conference room called ACIM Gather which is basically on PalTalk.com.

And it’s running seven days a week, just about 18 hours a day from early morning, around 6:00 in the morning Eastern time until about midnight.

http://ACIMgather.org

http://paltalk.com


And people come from all over the country to actually teach there. We can also be heard on our radio station, ACIMGatherRadio.org which is always on. Someone can tune in there. They can hear what’s going on in ACIM Gather.

And we do have a group on Facebook called Open Minds for ACIM and NTI. Of course, NTI was ascribed by Regina Dawn Akers who, of course, was your guest last week.

Jennifer Yeah, she did a wonderful class for us. And she reminded everybody how to find her at ACIM Gather as well. It’s a great resource, ACIM Gather. Tremendous.

David Thank you.

Jennifer Yeah, I mean, what have you got, thousands of hours of recordings you can access?

David Yeah, well, we've been on Gather since 2004 and I guess we've had just about every major teacher that has ever been in the community. We used to have David Hoffmeister come almost every Friday night when we first started. In fact we used to call it Festive Friday in honor of David’s sharing with us.

David David is actually waiting for me now. We're going to get together, so, not that I'm hurrying because of that, but we try to keep the class to an hour, so I'm going to say a prayer and bless us all out.

Closing Prayer

Right now I'm inviting you to place your hand on your heart. And we're giving thanks for David, blessing his life for truly he is helpful to us.

We're so grateful for his healing. And knowing that we're one with each other, his healing is our healing. So, in this moment, we invoke into our awareness the higher Holy Spirit self.

We invoke divine grace into every aspect of our life. And we cultivate that willingness to be consistent, to be committed and vigilant only for God, and to truly call forth profound healing.

http://acimgatherradio.org


We're accepting it right now. We're opening our hearts and minds to the healing right now. And we're opening our hearts and minds to hear with God’s ears and to know the truth that sets us free.

We are grateful that we can, and we do, share the benefits of our healing and our expansion with everyone because we're one with them. In grace and gratitude, we let it be and so it is. Amen.

David And so it is. Amen.

Documents

Living A Course in Miracles...If your purpose is healing, you are beginning to train your mind to see things differently. But if you think that your purpose is to get your way and