Elizabeth Heidt

1/23/15

UWRIT1103

Prof. Campbell

Learning to Believe

I have experienced something most people will never understand. I started off my educa-

tion as a homeschooler. It was an incredible experience that only homeschoolers will truly under-

stand. Because I was homeschooled, and had problems with confidence, public school and col-

lege, were huge adjustments for me. College is a vast adjustment for everyone, but for someone

who had only been in a public school environment for two years, it was a massive change. I had

to learn new ways of speech, deal with new kinds of people, and adapt to a completely new way

of life. Only movies gave me my false knowledge of what high school, and college are like. Be-

cause of my experiences leading up to college, I didn't go into the first semester believing in my-

self, which caused a lot of problems for me. However, through my experiences, the highs and the

lows, I am finally on the right track. I went through a lot, had many hard times, but I worked

through them to became who I am today.

The first day of public school was a nightmare, a blur, and a culture shock. As I opened

up the nasty, yellow doors I was hit with a wave of unfamiliar sounds. Students of every shape,

size, and color were running around like mindless maniacs. It was incredibly hectic. Walking

through the halls at my school was like walking through a shoe store on black friday, practically

impossible to get through. It was the sea of many colors. I felt like I was in another country, be-

cause people were speaking different languages, dressed oddly, and looked at me like I didn't be-

long. People used words that I had never heard before, it was a new hood lingo I didn't under-

stand. I was very shy and didn't know how to get through the smelly crowds, so I was late for my

very first last. My heart was beating like a drum as I pushed open the door of my French class-

room. The teacher was a frail, white woman who wore bright red lipstick on her perked up lips.

She even wore her glasses halfway down her nose to give her a typical Holly Wood librarian

appearance. I rushed to the closest open seat, where I sat, and didn't move, until the bell rang for

the second class.

I had watched many movies about high schoolers; I thought I had a good idea of how it

would be, but I was wrong. I thought the cafeteria would be a relaxing and a time to reflect on

my first two classes, but it was just as crazy as the rest of the school. Opening the door to the

cafeteria my eyes grew large as I saw the ridiculous amount of students running around, eating

food, and talking like they were at a concert. I never understood why everyone thought they had

to yell to talk to the person sitting right beside them. I felt like Lindsey Lohan in the movie,

Mean Girls. She was a redheaded homeschooler going to public school for the first time as well.

In the movie, Mean Girls, it showed the cafeteria and how she saw it. According to Lindsey, the

cafeteria was a place where people acted like animals, they fought, and ran around uncontrol-

lably picking at each other and behaving wilding. This was, and still is, a pretty accurate repre-

sentation of public school cafeterias. I didn't know how to order the mysterious food, or where to

sit. Luckily, I ran into a friend from church, who I had only met once, but she offered to let me sit

with her, which made my life a lot easier. The table I sat with became my first friend group at the

school. I began to sit with them everyday and meet more and more interesting people. I had fi-

nally mastered the cafeteria at the school.

There are a million different stereo-types of homeschoolers. We are: unsocialized, always

wear dresses, are weird, nerds, lazy, and or uneducated. I felt like I had something to prove when

I went to school. I wanted everyone to see I was not unsocialized, and I was not stupid. I worked

incredibly hard to tackle the extreme amounts of homework I was given, with very little time to

do. I never skipped class, I always did my homework, and I made good grades, but I never felt

like it was good enough.

For some reason, I never gave myself credit for being smart. When senior year rolled

around I was incredibly lost. It was time to pick a college. I had many questions to answer:

where did I want to go to college, what college had my major, how much does everything cost. I

was lost, and not sure where to apply to. I didn't know what colleges would accept my grades.

I worked hard to have a 4.5 GPA, I knew it was a pretty good GPA, and I knew I was

smart, but I still felt like everyone was smarter than me. Giving myself credit for being smart is

something I have always struggled with. After a lot of time talking with advisors, and my par-

ents, I finally made up my mind togo to NC State! I knew my test scores and grades were good

enough to go there, plus my advisors encouraged me to do so. They said with my grades I would

get in. Their encouragement inspired me. So I nervously, yet confidently, applied to NC State,

along with a few back up schools. Sadly, I was weight listed. This crushed me. I finally got the

courage and belief in myself that I could do it, but I got weight listed. My whole perspective

changed about my future. I ended up not getting into NC State at all. I had to face the fact that I

was not good enough for NC State, which is why ended up coming to UNC Charlotte. It was my

backup school, the school I chose togo to by default.

As time went on I grew to be excited about going to UNC Charlotte. My best friend and I

signed up as roommates, and I was excited to move out and start proving I could be responsible.

Although UNC Charlotte appeared wonderful, I was still not over getting denied by NC State.

This effected my confidence going into Charlotte, I never looked at it as being a good school

compared to State. First semester I felt would be incredibly easy at a school like UNCCharlotte; I

didn't try my best. My new freedoms, friends, discouragement over NC State, all made me less

and less focused on school. As time progressed my grades began to sink like the Titanic, drop

like the new years ball, and shrivel up like a worm on the concrete during a sunny day. I was spi-

raling out of control. I was at all an all time low my first semester of college. I went through:

two ear surgeries, mono, and a breakup, and I simply didn't apply myself. Therefore, my grades

were in the toilet. When midterm grades came in I was smacked in the face with reality and real-

ized I cant be ruining my future because one school didn't think I was good enough. I heard

about a lot of other smart people who didn't get into State, which made me feel better. After the

shock of my midterm grades I decided it was time for a change. I began to vigorously study like

Elle Woods did, to get into Harvard. As the semester went on I slaved in the library, pulling mul-

tiple all-nighters, and focusing less on my social life. My grades began to rise like a thermometer

in summer. My head would hurt, my eyes would be dry, I was strung out on red bull, and I en-

joyed every second of it. It made me feel alive and smart again. During this time I began to party

less and instead make some real friendships. I began to not only love Unc Charlotte, but also re-

gain confidence in myself. Sadly, ending the semester, my grades were not what I wanted, but it

could have been a lot worse. I plan to work hard and do a lot better from here on out.

Last semester was a wakeup call for me in many ways. I realized, I am smart, I can turn

my life around, and it doesn't matter where you go to college, it only matters what you do with

your education, and how you prosper while you are there. Hannah Montana once said “ Life is

what you make it”. Second semester at UNC Charlotte has been wonderful. I received an A on

my first test, quiz, and paper. I knew I could do it, I had just lost hope when I was rejected. I

know now that I can move on and end up doing something great with my education, without go-

ing to NC State.

!!!!!