LIKE GLUEMaking your relationships stick

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Ben Mandrell

Dr. Mandrell serves as a church planter with the North American Mission Board in Denver, Colorado. Previously, he was the Pastor of Englewood Baptist Church in Jackson, Tennessee. Ben loves pouring

into people and watching the unique way that God’s Word transforms their lives. To contact Ben, check out StoryLineFellowship.com or Twitter @benmandrell.

Super Glue® can fix just about anything. Dab a few drops of the sticky stuff on broken things and suddenly those shattered pieces are bonded together, almost like magic.

What if there was a Super Glue for fractured relationships? How much cash would you fork over for even a tiny tube of it?

] Does a friend no longer take your calls or respond to your texts?

] Has your marriage become mediocre?

] Do you have a work relationship that needs some repair?

You’re not alone. At times we all struggle to keep our relationships intact.

In “Like Glue: Making Your Relationships Stick,” you will discover practical principles for building lifelong, meaningful friendships with others. You will learn simple ways to keep marriage fresh and to remove the baggage that can weigh down church, work, and personal relationships. Relationships that have grown cold can be revived—with the right “bonding agent.”

Love, encouragement, forgiveness, service, humility, and acceptance—these six ingredients from Scripture can make your relationships stick like glue. Are you ready for a relational tune-up? Are you eager to see others draw closer to you? Apply these truths to your life and see what God can do through your obedience. Only He can create the bond with others that you’ve always longed for.

Strong relationships take work. Where do I start?

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What foods do you like best straight out of the oven?

Q U E S T I O N 1 #BSFLlove

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THE BIBLE MEETS LIFENobody likes the ends of the bread loaf. I have four small kids who can make a sport out of arguing, but the bread heels have never been among the things they have fought over. In the past 10 years, never once have I heard one of my children scream: “No, I want the crusty, super stale little cardboard-like pieces!” Never. kids want the fresh stuff. And so do adults.

Relationships are a little like those heels of bread. Over time, they tend to become stale and hardened. But relationships don’t have to follow this downward spiral. Fortunately, the Bible gives us a surefire method to keep our connections with others from going stale. If you are a follower of Jesus Christ, you have the power within you to produce incredible freshness in the lives of others. This method for growing phenomenal relationships is foolproof, but it’s not free. This deep connection is love.

Are you disappointed in the way your relationships are turning out? Are you sick and tired of watching people walk out of your life? Do you long to go deeper with those around you? If so, listen to the words of Jesus in John 15 as He explained the dynamics of love.

THE POINT

Let love permeate every relationship.

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WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?

Remain (v. 9)—A believer’s continual connection to Christ, like branches to a vine, is necessary for spiritual health and yields the fruit of love for others.

John 15:9-14 (HCSB)

9 “As the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you.

Remain in My love.

10 If you keep My commands you will remain in My

love, just as I have kept My Father’s commands and

remain in His love.

11 I have spoken these things to you so that My joy

may be in you and your joy may be complete.

12 This is My command: Love one another as I have

loved you.

13 No one has greater love than this, that someone

would lay down his life for his friends.

14 You are My friends if you do what I command you.”

© 2014 LifeWay

THE POINT

John 15:9-10

I woke up one morning craving coffee so fiercely that I sprang from the mattress and sprinted to the coffee maker. (Actually, I do this every day.) A steaming cup of coffee in 30 seconds? Yes, please. As I stood there, impatiently waiting for something hot and delicious to happen, I realized quickly that the machine had gone on strike. The tiny screen on the coffee maker told me: YOUR TANk IS LOW. It needed water. In short order, I poured in so that something beautiful would pour out.

Jesus made it very clear in John 15 that there is an ocean-sized reservoir of love, but it doesn’t begin with us. Love is found in God. We must drink from the deep well of the heavenly Father’s supply if we ever hope to pour meaningfully into the lives of others. Let me say it this way: the quality of your relationships with others will always be tied to the quality of your relationship with God.

Take special note of the word “remain” in this passage. This is a key word in John 15. To remain somewhere is to dwell there continually; a place where you remain is a place where you are comfortable enough to make yourself at home. Jesus urged His followers to keep their lives fresh by keeping their lives close to Him, by making themselves at home in His love. Faithful obedience to God’s Spirit and His Word is the key.

Obedience to God is the crucial factor in bearing fresh fruit in the lives of other people. Notice how Jesus tied the knot tightly between love and obedience: “If you keep My commands you will remain in My love.” If you do what Jesus tells you to do, then you will feel the full force of His affection! It’s not that Jesus will love you more—you are already completely loved by God—but you will more deeply know and experience that love. Your commitment to the commands of Jesus is the linchpin to producing life in those around you (vv. 5-8).

What do we expect from the people who love us?

Q U E S T I O N 2

Let love permeate every relationship.

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John 15:11-12

Living in Christ should produce joy. Obeying Him is not a grim, teeth-clenching exercise. In verse 11, Jesus said, “I have spoken these things to you so that My joy may be in you and your joy may be complete.” Submission to Christ is not a road of misery, but a road to freedom. When you discover your debts are paid and your sins have been erased, you walk with a much lighter load.

In his book Surprised by Joy, C.S. Lewis told the story of his conversion to Christianity. Lewis drifted from God for decades before surrendering his life to his Savior. What caused this brilliant intellectual to come to Christ? The answer: joy!

Throughout his life, Lewis experienced unforeseen, fleeting pangs of intense inner joy. This deep emotion of delight would appear like a ray of sunshine bursting through the clouds, and then suddenly vanish. He came to realize those occasional pokes in his heart were the touches of the Holy Spirit whispering God’s love to him.

Once the love and joy of Jesus is dwelling inside you, it can never be bottled up. The love of Christ must flow in and out of you: “This is My command: Love one another as I have loved you.” We are commanded to love the people around us in the same way Jesus has loved us. As recipients of a rich inheritance, we are not to hoard grace; instead we are empowered and emboldened to give grace to others.

How does our relationship with God impact our relationships with others?

Q U E S T I O N 3

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THE POINT

Jesus did not leave the command to love nebulous or vague. He directed us to love people in the specific way He loved. How did Jesus show His love? He gave. He forgave. He pardoned. He was gracious, kind, merciful, sacrificial, and intentional. When you love people as Jesus does, you begin to break down their defenses. Even the crusty shell of cynicism can begin to crack and they open up their messy lives to you. The spark of relational fire is found in these unforeseen moments of love.

DWELL IN HIM

What obstacles keep you from extending God’s love to others around you?

What can you do this week to remain connected to Christ and in tune with His commands?

How have you experienced the joy of loving others as Christ loves you?

Q U E S T I O N 4

Let love permeate every relationship.

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John 15:13-14

Every year on the afternoon of Mother’s Day, Charlie makes a dash for the nearest convenience store in search of a last minute card. With only three cards left in the rack, he is forced to buy and mail the cartoonish card that he has jammed awkwardly inside the wrong-sized envelope. In spite of this, Charlie soothes his conscience by thinking, Hey, at least I made an effort.

What is the least amount of energy required to pay the bill of love? How much does a person have to pay to expect good relationships with those around him?

Jesus set the price high, defining love by supreme sacrifice. The best way to build a relationship is not by offering clearance cards that cost less than loose change. Rather, the way to build a relationship is often through pain and suffering. How much pain are you willing to endure for another person? This is the yardstick that often measures your love for them.

“No one has greater love than this, that someone would lay down his life for his friends.” Little did the disciples know, that even as Jesus taught them how to love, this truth would be lived out in their own lives. In the years that followed, those in Jesus’ inner circle would sacrifice all for their Savior. For example, James, the brother of John, was executed with a sword because of His commitment to Jesus (Acts 12:2). Church history indicates that, with the exception of John (and of course Judas Iscariot), Jesus’ apostles were martyred for their faith. They were willing to die as a measure of their love for their leader. No higher form of love has ever been known.

When it comes to relationships, the little things matter. A willingness to die for those we love often translates into the daily need to stifle our own self-importance and study the lives of those around us. Love beckons us to pay a price—sometimes large, sometimes small—for the other person.

What opportunities do you have to lay down your life for others?

Q U E S T I O N 5

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THE POINT

How can you boost your level of love in the lives of others?

] Carve out time this week to get alone with God. Take a hike, go on a bike ride, or just spend time gazing at the night sky. Use this time to take a break from any pressing life issues and focus on the One who matters most—the Creator.

] Strengthen your connection with God by reading through one of the gospels over the new few weeks. Choose one, read some every day, and pay special attention to Jesus’ encounters with people. Ask God to help you see people the way that He does.

] Identify a need that your group can meet. Whether it’s for one of your group members, or a friend of someone in your group, communicate God’s love by supplying a tangible need.

Like the heels of bread, our relationships can become stale, hard, and flat. Love requires continual refreshment to remain healthy. This week, connect with the One who loves you perfectly and follow His lead as you seek to love those around you.

Afloat and Alone

“We must, therefore, pay even more attention to what we have heard, so that we will not drift away” (Hebrews 2:1). I don’t spend a lot of time on boats, but whenever I find myself on the water, I’m always a little amazed at the power of the current. It’s one of those forces that’s always there, no matter how still and pristine a body of water might seem, still churning and moving below the surface.

LIVE IT OUT

To continue reading ”Afloat and Alone” from HomeLife magazine, visit BibleStudiesforLife.com/articles.

Let love permeate every relationship.

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faith forward progress BY MICHAEL KELLEY

Afloat and AloneWhen you start to drift, fight the current, and get back to Jesus.

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