Life-On-A-Loop

October 2014

LIFE ON A LOOP

w w w . d e e p e n g l i s h . c o m

03

INDEX LIFE ON A LOOP

06

TAG QUESTIONS

PRESENT PERFECT

PRESENT CONTINUOUS

UNREAL CONDITIONAL

CONVERSATION LESSON

CONVERSATIONAL VOCABULARY

07

10

13

16

18

21

24

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ACTIVE LISTENING

ACTIVE SPEAKING

FOUR TENSES

VOCABULARY

CONVERSATION LESSON

© Deep English, 2011-2014

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02 30

ACTIVE LISTENING MAIN STORY

ACTIVE LISTENING VOCABULARY

ACTIVE SPEAKING - PART A

ACTIVE SPEAKING - PART B

ACTIVE SPEAKING - PART C

ACTIVE SPEAKING - PART D

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ACTIVE LISTENING MAIN STORY LIFE ON A LOOP

Lucy Whitmore was a pretty, young woman from Hawaii, who lived a normal life. That was until she had an accident, which changed her life. On October 13th, 2002, Lucy and her mother were in a terrible car crash. Lucy survived the accident, although her mother wasn’t so lucky and died in the car crash. Most people would spend the next several months waking up very sad after losing their mother. Not Lucy though. It’s not that Lucy is coldhearted - she just wakes up every morning believing that her mother is still alive. Because of the car accident, Lucy’s memory was severely affected. She lost the ability to store any new long-term memories. She wakes up each morning believing it is October 13th, 2002, the day of the crash. Her father and brother go to great lengths to keep her from learning the truth. They can’t bring themselves to tell her that her mother is dead. Each morning, they give her a newspaper from October 13th, 2002 and help her reenact that same day over and over again. They always have a reason her mother isn’t there. Because of this, Lucy is able to continue leading a somewhat normal, happy life. Then one day, she meets a man named Henry Roth at a cafe. Henry is instantly attracted to her, and makes plans to meet her the next day. She agrees, neither of them knowing she won’t remember who he is the next day. When he greets her the next day, she tells him to go away. Henry is initially hurt, having thought he was going to have a date with Lucy. The cafe staff then pulls Henry aside, and informs him of Lucy’s memory problem. While most normal men would simply move on, Henry was already too drawn to Lucy. He begins inventing new ways to run into Lucy every day. Lucy’s friends advise Henry to leave her alone but Henry refuses. He continues to meet Lucy over and over again, and each day Lucy believes she is meeting Henry for the first time.


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03

Lucy’s father and brother weren’t comfortable with this arrangement though. They had been trying hard to protect Lucy from the truth. They confront Henry, and he tells them he is going to tell Lucy about what’s really going on with her memory problem. Both Lucy’s brother and father are averse to the idea, and try their best to keep Henry away from her. They soon realize though, that Henry is serious about Lucy, and won’t go away easily. With Henry’s help, they start filming videos for Lucy to watch every morning. These videos inform her of the accident, and everything that has happened since. These videos are difficult for Lucy to watch, and her family doesn’t initially believe they are good for her. Henry keeps showing her the videos though, and it becomes clear that Lucy loves Henry just as much as he loves her. At one point, Lucy starts to regret the relationship, feeling she is a burden to Henry. She abandons him and checks herself into the hospital. At this hospital, there are many patients with conditions like hers. They aren’t able to bring her memory back, but she is in a controlled environment. Then a breakthrough happens. Lucy begins painting pictures of a man she can’t identify. The man is clearly Henry, and her family decides that the best thing is for the two to be together. They obviously both love each other and both deserve to be happy. Henry and Lucy got married and had a daughter together. Every morning Lucy wakes up and watches a video. In a few short minutes, Lucy runs through a gauntlet of emotions. She sees news stories about the crash where her mother died and she cries tears of sadness. Then she sees a video of her and Henry’s wedding and cries tears of happiness. Even though Lucy has to go through this difficult process every day, she has a good life and is happy with Henry. This story is the plot of the 2004 comedy movie “50 First Dates” starring Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore. While the plot is fictional, there are people who have a very similar experience to Lucy. Michelle Philpots is one of those people. Just like Lucy, every day, Michelle wakes up next to a man who must convince her that he is her husband. Similar to the movie, she doubts him every morning until he shows her a photo album from their wedding 13 years earlier.


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04

Unlike Lucy, Michelle was involved in two different accidents, which affected her memory. The first was a motorcycle accident in 1985. The second was a car crash in 1990, which caused her memory loss. The term for Michelle and Lucy’s condition is anterograde amnesia. Doctors say it’s rare, although it does exist. It allows those suffering from it to carry out day-to-day activities. They are able to function normally, except for the fact that their long-term memory doesn’t work. Also unlike Lucy, Michelle knew her husband long before the accident when she lost her memory. Her husband, Ian, and her had been dating for several years when the second accident occurred. It wasn’t until 1997, 7 years after the accident, that they married though. So even though Michelle doesn’t wake up next to a complete stranger, she does need to be convinced she is actually married to the person she is waking up next to. Her memory troubles go beyond just the memories of her loved ones though. She has to keep hundreds of Post-It notes around her home, to remind her to do simple things. The calendar app on her phone is constantly going off to remind her about appointments and tasks. Michelle says not everything about her condition is bad though. She enjoys watching TV, and never gets bored of the same programs. To her, there is no such thing as reruns, since every episode is new to her. Every time she hears an old joke, she laughs as if she’s hearing it for the first time. Michelle’s husband Ian says it’s tough, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. He says it can be frustrating having to be so patient. He keeps calm though, because he loves her and wants her to be happy. He has known her for 25 years and feels lucky to have met her before the accident. He’s also grateful that there are lots of photos of them together, before and after the accident. Without the photos, it would be much more difficult for him to convince Michelle they are really married every morning. Even though the movie is a comedy, for people like Michelle, losing your long-term memory is no laughing matter. Imagine if you woke up every day for the rest of your life, unable to remember the past 10 or 20 years of your life. If you’re lucky like Michelle, then you’ve already met the person you’ll spend the rest of your life with. People with this condition who haven’t though, often spend the rest of their lives under medical care. What if the person you loved were to suffer from a condition like this? What would your routine look like each morning to prove to them you already have a life together?


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05

ACTIVE LISTENING VOCABULARY LIFE ON A LOOP

cold hearted: lacking warmth or love great lengths: great effort move on: to leave somewhere drawn to: to be pulled to or attracted to initially: at first burden: a heavy load abandon: to stop supporting; to leave breakthrough: an important discovery or development to run the gauntlet of emotions: to have to deal with a lot of negative emotions going off: to start making a noise reruns: replays of a tv show wouldn’t have it any other way: would not change anything no laughing matter: not something to be joked about


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06

ACTIVE SPEAKING / PART A LIFE ON A LOOP

Lucy Whitmore was a pretty, young woman from Hawaii, who lived a normal life. Where was Lucy from? Lucy was from Hawaii. What kind of life did Lucy live? Lucy lived a normal life. That was until she had an accident, which changed her life. On October 13th, 2002, Lucy and her mother were in a terrible car crash. What changed her life? An accident changed her life. She was in a terrible car crash. Who was Lucy with when she had the accident? She was with her mother. Lucy survived the accident, although her mother wasn’t so lucky and died in the car crash. Did Lucy survive? Yes, luckily Lucy survived. What about her mother? Did she survive? No, her mother didn’t survive. Most people would spend the next several months waking up very sad after losing their mother. Not Lucy though. Did Lucy wake up the next day feeling very sad? No, Lucy didn’t wake up the next day feeling very sad. It’s not that Lucy is coldhearted - she just wakes up every morning believing that her mother is still alive. Is Lucy coldhearted? No, Lucy isn’t coldhearted. Why doesn’t she feel sad? She doesn’t feel sad because she still believes her mother is alive. © Deep English, 2011-2014

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07


Because of the car accident, Lucy’s memory was severely affected. What was affected by the accident? Lucy’s memory was severely affected by the accident. She lost the ability to store any new long-term memories. What has she lost? She has lost the ability to store new long-term memories. What about short-term memories? She can still make short-term memories. She wakes up each morning believing it is October 13th, 2002, the day of the crash. When was the crash? The crash was on October 13th, 2002. Her father and brother go to great lengths to keep her from learning the truth. Does her family try to keep her from the learning the truth? Yes, her family goes to great lengths to keep her from learning the truth. They can’t bring themselves to tell her that her mother is dead. Each morning, they give her a newspaper from October 13th, 2002 and help her reenact that same day over and over again. What do they give her every morning? They give her a newspaper from October 13th, 2002 every morning. They always have a reason her mother isn’t there. Because of this, Lucy is able to continue leading a somewhat normal, happy life.


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08


Do you think that Lucy is living a normal life? Imagine you were Lucy. Would you want to know the truth or live life believing every day was the same day? Then one day, she meets a man named Henry Roth at a cafe. Henry is instantly attracted to her, and makes plans to meet her the next day. Who does she meet at a café? She meets Henry Roth at a café. How does Henry feel? Henry feels instantly attracted to her. She agrees, neither of them knowing she won’t remember who he is the next day. When he greets her the next day, she tells him to go away. Henry is initially hurt, having thought he was going to have a date with Lucy. What does she tell Henry the next day? She tells him to go away the next day. How does Henry feel about this? He feels hurt. The cafe staff then pulls Henry aside, and informs him of Lucy’s memory problem. Who tells Henry about Lucy’s memory problem? The café staff tells Henry about Lucy’s memory problem.


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ACTIVE SPEAKING / PART B LIFE ON A LOOP

While most normal men would simply move on, Henry was already too drawn to Lucy. How did Henry feel about Lucy? He felt drawn to Lucy. Have you ever felt drawn to someone you just met? He begins inventing new ways to run into Lucy every day. Did Henry naturally run into Lucy? No, he planned to run into Lucy. He invented new ways to run into Lucy. Lucy’s friends advise Henry to leave her alone but Henry refuses. He continues to meet Lucy over and over again, and each day Lucy believes she is meeting Henry for the first time. What do Lucy’s friends say to Henry? They advise Henry to leave her alone. Does Henry listen? No, Henry refuses. He continues to meet her over and over again. If you were Lucy’s friend, what would you do in this situation? Lucy’s father and brother weren’t comfortable with this arrangement though. They had been trying hard to protect Lucy from the truth. How does Lucy’s family feel? They don’t feel comfortable with the arrangement. Do they want Lucy to know the truth? No, they want to protect Lucy from the truth. They confront Henry, and he tells them he is going to tell Lucy about what’s really going on with her memory problem.


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Who confronts Henry? Lucy’s family confronts Henry. What does Henry tell them? He tells them he is going to tell Lucy about what’s really going on with her memory problem. Both Lucy’s brother and father are averse to the idea, and try their best to keep Henry away from her. They soon realize though, that Henry is serious about Lucy, and won’t go away easily. Is Henry serious about Lucy? Yes, he is serious about Lucy. Will he go away easily? No, he won’t go away easily. With Henry’s help, they start filming videos for Lucy to watch every morning. These videos inform her of the accident, and everything that has happened since. Why are they filming these videos? They are filming these videos to inform Lucy about her accident and everything that has happened since. These videos are difficult for Lucy to watch, and her family doesn’t initially believe they are good for her. Are these videos easy for her to watch? No, they are difficult for her to watch. What does her family think about the videos? Her family doesn’t initially believe they are good for her. Henry keeps showing her the videos though, and it becomes clear that Lucy loves Henry just as much as he loves her. Does this stop Henry? No, Henry keeps showing her the videos. At one point, Lucy starts to regret the relationship, feeling she is a burden to Henry. © Deep English, 2011-2014

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Who starts to regret the relationship? Lucy starts to regret the relationship. How does she feel about her relationship to Henry? She feels she is a burden to Henry. She abandons him and checks herself into the hospital. Where does Lucy go? She checks herself into a hospital. At this hospital, there are many patients with conditions like hers. They aren’t able to bring her memory back, but she is in a controlled environment. What kind of environment is she in? She is in a controlled environment. Then a breakthrough happens. What happens next? A breakthrough happens. Lucy begins painting pictures of a man she can’t identify. The man is clearly Henry, and her family decides that the best thing is for the two to be together. Who does she begin to paint? She begins to paint Henry. What does her family think this means? Her family thinks this means the best thing is for the two to be together. They obviously both love each other and both deserve to be happy. Do you think this painting means they both love each other and should be together?


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ACTIVE SPEAKING / PART C LIFE ON A LOOP

Henry and Lucy got married and had a daughter together. Did they start a family? Yes, they got married and had a daughter together. Every morning Lucy wakes up and watches a video. In a few short minutes, Lucy runs through a gauntlet of emotions. What does Lucy do every morning? Every morning she wakes up and watches a video. Is this a relaxing experience? No, it’s not a relaxing experience. She runs through a gauntlet of emotions. She sees news stories about the crash where her mother died and she cries tears of sadness. What makes her cry? Watching news stories about her mother dying makes her cry. Then she sees a video of her and Henry’s wedding and cries tears of happiness. What makes her cry tears of happiness? Seeing a video of her and Henry’s wedding makes her cry tears of happiness. Even though Lucy has to go through this difficult process every day, she has a good life and is happy with Henry. Is this an easy process or a difficult process? This is a difficult process. This story is the plot of the 2004 comedy movie “50 First Dates” starring Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore. What movie is this story from? This story is from the movie “50 First Dates”. Have you seen this movie?


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While the plot is fictional, there are people who have a very similar experience to Lucy. Michelle Philpots is one of those people. Is this plot fictional? Yes, this plot is fictional. Is the kind of memory problem Lucy has fictional? No, the kind of memory problem Lucy has is not fictional. There are people who have a very similar experience to Lucy. Just like Lucy, every day, Michelle wakes up next to a man who must convince her that he is her husband. What does Michelle’s husband do every morning? Michelle’s husband convinces her every morning the he is her husband. Similar to the movie, she doubts him every morning until he shows her a photo album from their wedding 13 years earlier. What does he show her every morning? Every morning he shows her a photo album from their wedding 13 years earlier. Unlike Lucy, Michelle was involved in two different accidents, which affected her memory. What affected Michelle’s memory? Two different accidents affected her memory. The first was a motorcycle accident in 1985. The second was a car crash in 1990, which caused her memory loss. The term for Michelle and Lucy’s condition is anterograde amnesia. What is Michelle and Lucy’s condition called? Michelle and Lucy’s condition is called anterograde amnesia.


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Doctors say it’s rare, although it does exist. It allows those suffering from it to carry out day-to-day activities. Is this a common condition? No, it’s a rare condition. Does it allow people to carry out day-to-day activities? Yes, it allows people to carry out day-to-day activities. They are able to function normally, except for the fact that their long-term memory doesn’t work. What part of their memory doesn’t work? Their long-term memory doesn’t work. Also unlike Lucy, Michelle knew her husband long before the accident when she lost her memory. What was different between Michelle’s story and Lucy’s story? Unlike Lucy, Michelle knew her husband long before the accident when she lost her memory. Her husband, Ian, and her had been dating for several years when the second accident occurred. It wasn’t until 1997, 7 years after the accident, that they married though. How long after the accident, did they get married? They got married 7 years after the accident. So even though Michelle doesn’t wake up next to a complete stranger, she does need to be convinced she is actually married to the person she is waking up next to. Does Michelle wake up to a stranger? No, she doesn’t wake up to a stranger. Does she still need to be convinced? Yes, she still needs to be convinced she is actually married to the person she is waking up next to. © Deep English, 2011-2014

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ACTIVE SPEAKING / PART D LIFE ON A LOOP

Her memory troubles go beyond just the memories of her loved ones though. She has to keep hundreds of Post-It notes around her home, to remind her to do simple things. Are her memory problems just about her loved ones? No, her memory problems go beyond just her loved ones. How does she use post-it notes? She keeps hundreds of post-it notes around her home to remind her to do simple things. The calendar app on her phone is constantly going off to remind her about appointments and tasks. What is constantly going off? Her calendar app on her phone is constantly going off. Do you use calendar apps or post-it notes to remind you to do things? Michelle says not everything about her condition is bad though. She enjoys watching TV, and never gets bored of the same programs. Does Michelle think her condition is completely bad? No, she says that not everything is bad. What does she never get bored of? She never gets bored of watching the same TV programs. To her, there is no such thing as reruns, since every episode is new to her. What does she say about reruns? She says there is no such thing as a rerun as every episode is new to her. Every time she hears an old joke, she laughs as if she’s hearing it for the first time. Michelle’s husband Ian says it’s tough, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. What does Michelle’s husband say about the situation? He says it’s tough, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. © Deep English, 2011-2014

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ACTIVE SPEAKING / PART D LIFE ON A LOOP

He says it can be frustrating having to be so patient. He keeps calm though, because he loves her and wants her to be happy. What’s frustrating for Ian? Having to be so patient is frustrating for Ian. Why does he keep calm? He keeps calm because he loves her and wants her to be happy. He has known her for 25 years and feels lucky to have met her before the accident. He’s also grateful that there are lots of photos of them together, before and after the accident. How long has Ian known Michelle? He has known her for 25 years. Does he feel lucky to have met her before the accident? Yes, he feels lucky to have met her before the accident? Why does this make life easier? This makes life easier because there are lots of photos of them together before the accident. Without the photos, it would be much more difficult for him to convince Michelle they are really married every morning. How does Ian use the photos? Ian uses the photos to convince Michelle they are really married every morning. Even though the movie is a comedy, for people like Michelle, losing your long-term memory is no laughing matter. Is this a laughing matter for Michelle? No, this isn’t a laughing matter for Michelle.


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TAG QUESTIONS LIFE ON A LOOP

Lucy Whitmore was a pretty, young woman from Hawaii, who lived a normal life. That was until she had an accident, which changed her life. Lucy was a pretty young woman from Hawaii, wasn’t she? Yes, she was. She lived a wild and crazy life didn’t she? No, not at all. She lived a normal life. That all changed after she had an accident, didn’t it? Yes, that’s right. Her whole life changed. On October 13th, 2002, Lucy and her mother were in a terrible car crash. Lucy survived the accident, although her mother wasn’t so lucky and died in the car crash. In 2002, Lucy and her mother had a car accident, didn’t they? Yes, they had a terrible car accident in 2002. Lucy survived, didn’t she? Yes, Lucy survived. Her mother wasn’t so lucky, was she? Yes, her mother wasn’t so lucky and died in the car crash. Most people would spend the next several months waking up very sad after losing their mother. Not Lucy though. Lucy woke every day feeling sad, didn’t she? No, she didn’t wake up feeling sad. It’s not that Lucy is coldhearted - she just wakes up every morning believing that her mother is still alive. She isn’t coldhearted, is she? No, she isn’t coldhearted. Every morning she believes that her mother is still alive, doesn’t she? Yes, every morning, she believes her mother is still alive. Because of the car accident, Lucy’s memory was severely affected. She lost the ability to store any new long-term memories.


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Lucy’s memory was seriously affected, wasn’t it? Yes, her memory was seriously affected. She lost her ability to store new long-term memories, didn’t she? Yes, she lost her ability to store new long-term memories. She wakes up each morning believing it is October 13th, 2002, the day of the crash. Her father and brother go to great lengths to keep her from learning the truth. She always wakes up thinking it’s the same day in 2002, doesn’t she? Yes, she always wakes up thinking it’s the same day in 2002. Her brother and father don’t try very hard to keep her from learning the truth, do they? No, just the opposite. They go to great lengths to keep her from learning the truth. They can’t bring themselves to tell her that her mother is dead. Each morning, they give her a newspaper from October 13th, 2002 and help her reenact that same day over and over again. They can’t bring themselves to tell her that her mother is dead, can they? No, they bring themselves to tell her that her mother is dead. Every morning they help her reenact that same day, don’t they? Yes, every day they help her reenact that same day. They always have a reason her mother isn’t there. Because of this, Lucy is able to continue leading a somewhat normal, happy life. Lucy lives a somewhat normal, happy life, doesn’t she? Yes, she lives a somewhat normal, happy life. You live a normal, happy life, don’t you? Then one day, she meets a man named Henry Roth at a cafe. Henry is instantly attracted to her, and makes plans to meet her the next day. © Deep English, 2011-2014

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She meets Henry at a bar, doesn’t she? No, she doesn’t meet Henry at a bar. She meets Henry at a café. Henry isn’t sure if he likes her, is he? No, Henry is instantly attracted to her. He makes plans to meet her the next day, doesn’t he? Yeah, he makes plans to meet her the next day. She agrees, neither of them knowing she won’t remember who he is the next day. When he greets her the next day, she tells him to go away. She tells him to sit down the next day, doesn’t she? No, that’s not right. She tells him to go away the next day. Henry is initially hurt, having thought he was going to have a date with Lucy. The cafe staff then pulls Henry aside, and informs him of Lucy’s memory problem. Henry feels hurt, doesn’t he? Yes, Henry feels hurt. You would be hurt too, wouldn’t you? The staff tells him what’s wrong with Lucy, don’t they? Yes, that’s right. They tell him what’s wrong with Lucy. While most normal men would simply move on, Henry was already too drawn to Lucy. You wouldn’t move on, would you?


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PRESENT PERFECT LIFE ON A LOOP

Henry has begun inventing new ways to run into Lucy every day. What has Henry begun inventing new ways to do? Henry has begun inventing new ways to run into Lucy every day. Lucy’s friends have advised Henry to leave her alone, but Henry has refused. Has Henry agreed to leave Lucy alone? No, Henry has refused to leave her alone. He has continued to meet Lucy over and over again, and each day Lucy has believed that she is meeting Henry for the first time. Who has continued to meet Lucy over and over again? Henry has continued to meet Lucy over and over again. Has Lucy believed that every time is the first time? Yes, Lucy has believed that every time is the first time. Lucy’s father and brother haven’t been comfortable with this arrangement though. They have been trying hard to protect Lucy from the truth. Has Lucy’s father and brother been comfortable with the arrangement? No, Lucy’s father and brother haven’t been comfortable with the arrangement. Have they been trying hard to protect Lucy from the truth? Yes, they have been trying hard to protect Lucy from the truth. They have confronted Henry, and he has told them he is going to tell Lucy about what’s really going on with her memory problem. Who has confronted Henry? Lucy’s father and brother have confronted Henry.


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Both Lucy’s brother and father have been averse to the idea, and they’ve tried their best to keep Henry away from her. Who has been averse to the idea? Both Lucy’s father and brother have been averse to the idea. Have they tried to keep Henry away from her? Yes, they’ve tried to keep Henry away from her. They’ve soon realized though, that Henry is serious about Lucy, and won’t go away easily. What have they realized? They’ve realized that Henry is serious about Lucy and won’t go away easily. With Henry’s help, they’ve started filming videos for Lucy to watch every morning. Have they started filming videos every night? No, they haven’t started filming videos every night. They’ve started filming videos every morning. These videos have informed her of the accident, and everything that has happened since. Have the videos informed her of the accident? Yes, the videos have informed her of the accident. These videos have been difficult for Lucy to watch, and her family hasn’t initially believed they are good for her. Have they been easy to watch? No, they haven’t been easy to watch. They’ve been difficult to watch. Henry has kept showing her the videos though, and it has become clear that Lucy loves Henry just as much as he loves her.


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What’s become clear? It’s become clear that Lucy loves Henry just as much as he loves her. At one point, Lucy has started to regret the relationship, feeling she has been a burden to Henry. What has Lucy started to regret? Lucy has started to regret the relationship. She has abandoned him and has checked herself into the hospital. Has she abandoned him? Yes, she has abandoned him. Has she checked herself into the hospital? Yes, she has checked herself into the hospital. At this hospital, there have been many patients with conditions like hers. They haven’t been able to bring her memory back, but she is in a controlled environment. Have they been able to fix her memory problems? No, they haven’t been able to fix her memory problems. Then a breakthrough happens. Lucy has begun painting pictures of a man she can’t identify. The man is clearly Henry, and her family has decided that the best thing is for the two to be together. Has Lucy begun painting pictures of Henry? Yes, Lucy has begun painting pictures of Henry. What has her family decided? Her family has decided that the best thing is for the two to be together.


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PRESENT CONTINUOUS LIFE ON A LOOP

Henry and Lucy are getting married and are planning to have a daughter together. Who is getting married? Henry and Lucy are getting married. What are they planning to do? They are planning to have a daughter together. Every morning Lucy is waking up and watching a video. In a few short minutes, Lucy is running through a gauntlet of emotions. Is Lucy going running every morning? No, she isn’t going running. What is she doing every morning? She is watching a video every morning. How is this making Lucy feel? She is running through a gauntlet of emotions. She is seeing news stories about the crash where her mother died and she is crying tears of sadness. Then she is watching a video of her and Henry’s wedding and is crying tears of happiness. What is making her sad? Seeing videos about the crash where her mother died is making her sad. What is making her happy? Seeing videos of her and Henry’s wedding are making her happy. Even though Lucy has to go through this difficult process every day, she is enjoying a good life and is feeling happy with Henry. How is Lucy feeling with Henry? She is feeling happy with Henry. This story is the plot of the 2004 comedy movie “50 First Dates” starring Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore. While the plot is fictional, there are people who are experiencing a similar situation to Lucy. Michelle Philpots is one of those people. © Deep English, 2011-2014

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Are there people who are experiencing a similar situation to 50 First Dates? Yes, there are people experiencing a similar situation to 50 First Dates. Is Michelle also experiencing long-term memory loss? Yes, Michelle is also experiencing long-term memory loss. Just like Lucy, every day, Michelle is waking up next to a man who must convince her that he is her husband. Is Michelle waking up next to a man who must convince her that he is her husband? Yes, she is waking up next to a man who must convince her that he is her husband. Similar to the movie, she is wondering if they are really married, until he shows her a photo album from their wedding 13 years earlier. What is she wondering? She is wondering if they are really married. Unlike Lucy, Michelle was involved in two different accidents, which are still affecting her memory. What is still affecting her memory? The accidents are still affecting her memory. The first was a motorcycle accident in 1985. The second was a car crash in 1990, which caused the memory loss, that she is still feeling today. What is she still feeling today? She is still feeling the memory loss. The term for Michelle and Lucy’s condition is anterograde amnesia. Doctors are saying it’s rare, although it does exist. Are doctors saying the condition is rare or normal? Doctors are saying the condition is rare.


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People with this condition are living normal lives, and carrying out normal day-to-day activities. How are people with this condition living? People with this condition are living normal lives, and carrying out normal day-to-day activities. They are functioning normally, except for the fact that their long-term memory doesn’t work. How are they functioning? They are functioning normally, except for the fact that their long-term memory doesn’t work.


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UNREAL CONDITIONAL LIFE ON A LOOP

Unlike Lucy, Michelle knew her husband long before the accident when she lost her memory. Her husband, Ian, and her had been dating for several years when the second accident occurred. It wasn’t until 1997, 7 years after the accident, that they married though. So even though Michelle doesn’t wake up next to a complete stranger, she does need to be convinced she is actually married to the person she is waking up next to. If you woke up next to a stranger, what would you do? If I woke up next to a stranger, the first thing I’d do is look for an exit. If I didn’t feel like I was in danger, I’d probably try to figure out how I got there and who I’d just woken up next to. Her memory troubles go beyond just the memories of her loved ones though. She has to keep hundreds of Post-It notes around her home, to remind her to do simple things. The calendar app on her phone is constantly going off to remind her about appointments and tasks. If you had long-term memory problems, what techniques would you use to manage your life? I’d probably write things down a lot like Michelle. I’d write myself a letter explaining my condition in a notebook. Then I’d probably use post-it notes everywhere in my house. I’d put one post-it note on my alarm clock with the date and a message telling myself to read my notebook. Michelle says that not everything about her condition is bad though. If you had long-term memory problems like Michelle, do you think you would find anything positive about your condition? I’d probably be pretty confused all the time, but I’d try to find something positive about it. I would try to see it as a unique opportunity to live life with fresh eyes.


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Michelle enjoys watching TV, and never gets bored of the same programs. To her, there is no such thing as reruns, since every episode is new to her. Every time she hears an old joke, she laughs as if she’s hearing it for the first time. If you could experience something again for the first time, what would it be? If I could experience something again for the first time, I would like to re-experience meeting my wife. I’d like to experience the excitement and uncertainty of falling in love again. Michelle’s husband Ian says it’s tough, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. What would you do if this happened to your partner? If this happened to my partner I would do the same thing that Henry and Michelle’s husband did because I love my wife very much and would want her to be happy. If I was in loveless marriage, I think it would be much more difficult to make the necessary sacrifices. I don’t know what I’d do if that was the case. He says it can be frustrating having to be so patient. He keeps calm though, because he loves her and wants her to be happy. He has known her for 25 years and feels lucky to have met her before the accident. He’s also grateful that there are lots of photos of them together, before and after the accident. Without the photos, it would be much more difficult for him to convince Michelle that they are really married every morning. If you didn’t have photos of your husband or wife, how would you convince him or her that you were married? Hmm, that would be really difficult. If I didn’t have photos of my wife, I’d have to tell her things about herself that a stranger could never know. But then maybe I’d just seem like a creepy stalker.


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Even though the movie is a comedy, for people like Michelle, losing your long-term memory is no laughing matter. Imagine if you woke up every day for the rest of your life, unable to remember the past 10 or 20 years of your life. What would you think if you woke up thinking you were 30, but you were really 50? At first, I’d probably think I was dreaming and try to wake up. Then I’d probably think I was losing my mind. And then, I’d probably go find a doctor right away. While less than 99.99% of us will never have to deal with a situation like Michelle, it’s much more common to deal with a parent who may no longer remember who we are. Would you ever put your parents in a hospital, if they could no longer take care of themselves? Do you think your partner or family would take care of you for the rest of your life if you had this condition? What about your children? Would you expect them to take care of you in this situation?


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CONVERSATION LESSON LIFE ON A LOOP

Dan: Okay. This month the topic is memory. Did you see the movie that this month’s Core Audio was based on? Aaron: No, I actually haven’t seen the movie yet. Dan: Okay. It’s actually not that great of a movie but it’s a great story. Aaron: It’s a comedy, right? Dan: Yeah. Actually, I haven’t seen the whole thing. I saw part of it on the airplane. It’s a kind of movie that you watch when there’s nothing else on. But it’s interesting because it’s based on a true story. Aaron: Yeah, the premise itself is quite interesting. Dan: Right. The character in the movie, she has a car accident, her mother dies. And when she wakes up, she can’t remember anything after that accident. So every day she wakes up and she thinks it’s the same day over and over again. Then she meets a guy that she really likes. The next day of course she doesn’t remember him. He’s really drawn to her so he keeps going back and he won’t give up. His family tries to keep him away, but there’s this true love thread going through the story that penetrates deeper than her memory problem. Aaron: But hang on, I have a question about that. The guy that she meets, had they known each other before her accident? Dan: No. Aaron: Okay, so this is someone new that she meets? © Deep English, 2011-2014

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Dan: Right. Aaron: I see. Okay. Dan: So that’s why the movie is called 50 First Dates because every day is a new first day for them. And every day she doesn’t remember him, but he does. I mean on one hand, you can make a case that he’s really in love with her, going after her day after day after day. But on the other hand, there is something kind of creepy that he knows all the stuff about her and she doesn’t know anything about him. Aaron: It kind of makes you wonder what his motives are, and staying in that relationship. Dan: Yeah. So in the movie, it’s called 50 First Dates because each day he thinks of a unique way to woo her, a unique way to have an exciting date with her. But really, one thing they don’t talk about in the movie is they can just be doing the same thing every day because she wouldn’t know. Aaron: Yeah. She wouldn’t know, it wouldn’t matter. Dan: But that would probably make a really boring movie. Fifty Same Dates. Aaron: Yeah, Fifty Same Dates. Right. And it would probably be boring for him because he’s just doing the same thing over and over. Dan: But he knows that it works, so he’s probably going to think it’s nothing really unique to… Aaron: But this was based on an actual true story, though, right? © Deep English, 2011-2014

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Dan: I mean, can you imagine if this was your wife before the first time you met her, and for 50 days, you had to think of a unique way to approach her that would work? You’d probably just do the same thing. Aaron: Yeah, maybe. And maybe it was just true love. Maybe he just felt so drawn to this person and vice versa. Dan: Right. Aaron: But this was based on a true story though, wasn’t it? Dan: Yeah, it was based on a true story, Michelle Philpots, and I think she’s British. And similar, she also had a car accident and she doesn’t remember anything past that point in time. A little bit different from the movie is she eventually married the man that she was with before the accident. Every morning she wakes up and she looks over at this guy who she must think is her boyfriend, but in reality, though, it’s her husband. I mean, she does know who he is. She was dating him before the accident. Aaron: Oh I see. But she just doesn’t remember anything after the accident Dan: Yeah. She doesn’t remember that they dated for another 7 years and they eventually got married. I don’t know if they had kids or not but that would be even stranger. Aaron: If they had kids. Dan: Yeah. So you would imagine every day it’s like, “Who is this 3-year old? Who is this 4-year old? Who is this 18-year old?” Aaron: Right. So the day would have to obviously begin with some kind of review.


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Dan: Yeah. So it begins with him opening a photo album. He shows a photo album, pictures of them dating, pictures of their wedding. He actually says if he didn’t have those photos, it would obviously be much more difficult. I mean, imagine if you woke up next to somebody, you had no memory of who they are and they had nothing, no proof, and they just wanted to tell you that, “I’m your wife. We’ve been together for three years.” Aaron: Really? I mean I would think that would be pretty strange from my subjective experience of that moment. Here I am with this strange person and they’re telling me things that, “We’ve been together for three years.” I mean, that would just seem hard to believe! Dan: Yeah. And especially if it… I imagine like what must to be like after 10 years or 20 years. Because then, clearly, once you get convinced, “Okay, this is real. This person isn’t lying to me. They have some proof. They have some pictures,” then you would have so many questions. “What happened to this person? Is my mother still alive? Is my father still alive? Is my brother still alive?” Aaron: And then you would forget the very next day anyway. Dan: Yeah, but it wouldn’t stop you from wanting to know. And as the span of time that you’re trying to catch up on increases-- Aaron: Yeah. It’ll be harder and harder. Dan: You’d probably spend all morning. Aaron: Eventually all day! And you’ll just fall asleep and then wake up again. It’s almost like a rebirth every day. I just wonder how that would affect your quality of life. Maybe it wouldn’t be any more or less difficult than what we go through. It’s just that from our perspective, we’re comparing it with our experience of reality and we’re saying how difficult that must be. But from that perspective, maybe it’s just, it becomes normal life. It depends on the attitude that you take and your outlook on things. It can be positive or it can be negative. You deal with the reality you’re given.


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Dan: I suppose the most effective way would be to have a video of yourself and every morning you can hear yourself talk to you about what had happened. Give you the clip notes, you would probably get really good at telling that to yourself. But then can you imagine if you woke up and you were 20 years older? Aaron: Right. You saw this young person, the young you talking to you. Dan: While the young person, that’s what you think you look like. Aaron: Right, because that’s what you remember. That would be pretty odd. It would be a pretty odd experience. Dan: If it happened to you when you were really young, you would be stuck in this childlike state, you would never develop fully. But I wonder if there-- I mean she, Michelle Philpots, she talks about the benefits, is she can watch the same TV show over and over again and still laugh like it’s the first time. I wonder if she approaches life in general that way, if almost she has a Zen Buddhist sort of perspective on things where everything is new and she embraces the space in her life, not being encumbered by all of the recent memories that most people are going through. Aaron: Yeah, it may have a positive effect on that. Dan: Because surely she remembers what happened before the accident, but if you know that’s 10 years ago. As soon as I accept the fact that this is 10 years later, am I really going to dwell on that argument I had with somebody even if it felt like it was yesterday? If I know it’s 10 years, okay that’s done. So maybe you’re left with this spacious feeling where everything is new. What’s the—You ever read Zen Mind, Beginner’s Minds?


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Aaron: Yes, by Suzuki. Dan: There’s a great first sentence in that… Something along the lines of... Aaron: You can’t remember it, can you? I think we have a memory problem here, Dan. Dan: Maybe I was making something up because now I don’t know. Aaron: I don’t remember it either. Dan: It’s “In the expert’s mind, there are a few possibilities. In the beginner’s mind, there are many.” You’re open to so many things, you accept so many more things if you can approach things as a beginner. I wonder if Michelle experiences that in some way. Aaron: Yeah, I wonder. I wonder what that would be like. It’s so hard to imagine because we’re just so used to an existence where the moment that we’re conscious, we have an identity that’s constructed upon mostly memories. And I think what’s really interesting about memories is that they’re different for each person. If we experience the same event, you and I, and 10 years later we haven’t talked about that event at all and then suddenly it comes up, your experience of it, your memory of it would be much more different than mine, perhaps. Perhaps I would think, “Wow that was kind of a negative experience, and I know Dan was having a negative time, and I was having a negative time.” But then 10 years later, I remember it that way, but you remember it as being positive, and I’m certain you had a negative experience but you felt something positive. It may be the way-- You have to remember a memory is also a construct. We’re also constructing that in the moment, and so every time we construct it, we may color it with our own biases, our own values, and I think it\s really interesting.


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Dan: I think the answer to whose would be more accurate would probably be mine, but that aside, that judgement aside, the person who had thought about it more over those 10 years would probably be the one who remembered it works her more inaccurately. Aaron: Perhaps, because they’ve reconstructed it so many times. Dan: Yes. So every time you remembered something, you’re kind of recreating that memory and photographic memory gets changed with each reproduction. And if one of us has only thought about it once, it’s probably much closer… Aaron: Maybe it’s more pure. It’s a more pure form. I don’t know… Dan: I mean they’ve done some research studies on that. They’ve been able to isolate how strong an event something was, how so that they’ve remembered it very often or people who at least reported that they had never thought about it since. They were able to somehow determine that they are more accurate when they were being recalled less frequently. Aaron: That makes sense. The condition that this woman had where she could only remember up to the accident, is that the same condition that the man in that movie Memento had, or is that a different one? Do you remember the movie Memento? Dan: I do. The one where the guy also, I think he got hit over the head. He got involved in something in the underworld and he got beat up or hit in the head. And when he came to, he wasn’t able to form any new memories. So it sounds like the same thing but it’s a long time since I’ve seen the movie. But that was a great movie because Aaron: I see. The story was in reverse chronological order, a lot of the scenes. © Deep English, 2011-2014

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Dan: For Michelle Philpots, the way she remembers things is by putting post-it notes everywhere. I think the guy in the movie also would write things down. He would wake up in the morning, he would pull out all his little notes from his pockets. But he had also tattooed on his arms to make sure, he would have some messages. Aaron: I vaguely remember the movie but it just seem like he was always very stressed out in the movie. Dan: Yeah. I think he was trying to unravel some mystery. That’s a much better movie than 50 First Dates. Aaron: But actually this problem with memory is not limited just to people who have accidents or brain trauma, that kind of thing. It’s actually a natural sort of progression as we get older, we start aging that we become more and more forgetful, and in some cases we become senile. We lose most of our memories. With people with Alzheimer’s disease, they lose memory of everything and don’t even know who they are. So it’s something that all of us, at some point, will have to deal with either as the son or daughter of parents who are going through this or eventually ourselves as we get older, if we even live that long. Dan: I was listening to this really interesting interview with this woman whose mother had lost all memory of any connection to her. Her dementia was fairly, it was pretty deep. She had no memory of her family at all. The psychiatrist advised her you can’t… She would always try to set her straight like, “I’m your daughter and this is your granddaughter,” and that would just make her mother feel more upset because she just couldn’t understand anything and it just didn’t make any sense to her. The psychiatrist said, “In these kind of cases, the best thing to do is just to roll with it. Don’t try to correct her. Just be with her and wherever she’s going, go with it.”


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She was actually an improv comedian, so was her husband. So all of a sudden it just clicked, it was like, “Of course, that’s what I do. That’s what my husband does, too.” It’s like, “Okay yeah, there’s flying monkeys outside. How many are there? I wonder if we can get them to come up on to the porch.” Aaron: “For lunch?” Dan: And all of a sudden her mother’s quality of life just increased. She’s laughing and enjoying things Aaron: That makes a lot of sense. That’s a good story. Dan: But actually she got quite upset because she started to talk about it more deeply that she started on that path. She did feel it was the right decision. But her husband, for some reason, was much better at it than her, connecting with her mother. Maybe because she still had this longing to have her mother recognize her as her daughter. She couldn’t let go completely, but her husband could. So the mother started to just love her son-in-law and started to just question, “Who is this woman living in my house. You better toe the line or I’m going to kick you out because you’re just like some homeless lady that I took in.” Aaron: Gosh, really? Oh, how terrible for her. Dan: Then she started feeling jealous of her husband because her husband had this great relationship with her mother. Then she would just talk about the longing of wanting to connect with her mother based on memories. She just wanted to say, “Remember the time we went to the beach and dad did that crazy thing and dumped ice cream on his head?”


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Aaron: It plays such an important role in our whole creation of who we are and what the reality is. Dan: Yeah, bonding and relationship, so much of it is based on retelling the good times and the bad times that you share with people. Aaron: Memory is a very precious thing. Dan: The chances are none of us will ever experience this kind of amnesia but we will probably see that with our parents at one point. Whether they’ll get to the point where they don’t remember who we are or not, I’m not sure what the chances of that are but it’s definitely a possibility. Thinking about how you would deal with somebody that you love who doesn’t remember who you are anymore, who you can’t share those kinds of stories with. Aaron: You have to be pretty committed to that relationship to keep it going because it’s really in your hands at that point. You could walk away and let someone else deal with it or you could make a commitment to staying there even though that person doesn’t even know who you are. You know who they are. Interesting. Dan: I would do that for you. I would come visit you in the hospital every Christmas and on your birthday. Aaron: You better write that down so you don’t forget because I’m going to show it to you. Dan: I would at least call the nurse and tell her to bring you some candles. Aaron: Thank you, Dan. It’s very nice of you. I’ll do the same for you.


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Hi there. Aaron here of Deep English. I’m now going to talk about some of the languages that occurs in the conversation between Dan and I on memory. 1. premise I’m going to start by talking about the word ‘premise’. Dan mentions this movie called 50 First Dates that he watched or at least watched part of. He says that it’s interesting because it’s based on a true story and I say, “Yeah, the premise itself is quite interesting.” So this word ‘premise’, it basically means, in this context, the state of affairs. That means the way things are which forms the basis for some kind of further work or creation, in this sense, the movie. The movie itself may not have been so interesting but the premise, the idea that the movie was based on, is interesting. This word ‘premise’ actually has its roots in logical reasoning. The famous syllogism that, “All men are mortal and Socrates is a man, therefore Socrates is mortal.” This kind of reasoning is based on two premises. The conclusion is based on two premises. The first premise is that all men are mortal, that means they die. The second premise is Socrates is a man. Those are the two premises upon which the conclusion is based, and the conclusion is that Socrates is mortal. That means he will die at some point in his life. That’s true because both premises are true. In this context, of course we’re not following any kind of logical reasoning but we’re just talking about the basis upon which the movie, as if it were a conclusion, was created. That’s ‘premise’. I used the word ‘itself’ just to draw emphasis to the ‘premise’, as opposed to other things. So that’s ‘premise itself’.

CONVERSATIONAL VOCABULARY LIFE ON A LOOP


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2. drawn to The next piece of language is a verb and it’s ‘drawn to’. Dan is talking about this woman in the movie who cannot remember anything after a car accident that she had. Dan says, “Yeah, the next day of course she wakes up and she doesn’t remember this man that she’s involved in a relationship with.” And he says, “Yeah, this man is really drawn to her so he keeps going back and he won’t give up.” That is he won’t give up trying to be her boyfriend. Later, actually, in the conversation I say, “Yeah, maybe it was just true love. Maybe this man just felt so drawn to this person that he kept coming back.” Basically, this ‘drawn to’ is very similar to the verb ‘attract’. It’s just from the opposite perspective. We might take another example like, “Mr. Jones likes old books very much so antique bookstores attract Mr. Jones. Mr. Jones is drawn to antique bookstores.” We could also say, “Mr. Jones is attracted to antique bookstores,” but we cannot say that, “Antique bookstores draw Mr. Jones.” I mean, you could say that but, actually, that sounds very strange. We usually say, almost always would say, “Mr. Jones is drawn to antique bookstores.” Are you drawn to antique bookstores? I’m not so drawn to antique bookstores. I’m drawn to contemporary bookstores. I like to see the latest novels and books that have been written, so I’m drawn to that. What are you drawn to? What are you attracted to? 3. hang on Okay, the next one is ‘hang on’. Dan’s talking about this movie and he’s telling me the story and I say, “But hang on. I have a question about that. That guy she meets, had they known each other before the accident?” So as Dan’s explaining, I interrupt him in order to get some necessary information that I need to continue understanding what Dan is saying. This is a way, kind of a casual way, of interrupting someone to ask a question or to add a piece of information.



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There are many ways to interrupt people. We actually mention this in one of our learning strategies and give you some exercises for using them. But another one might be ‘hang on’, ‘hang on a sec’, ‘wait a sec’, ‘wait a minute’, ‘hold on’, ‘hold on a sec’, ‘hold on a minute’. Those are some kind of casual ways to interrupt people. If you want to be a little bit more polite, you might say, “Sorry but may I ask a question?” or, “Excuse me, can I ask a question?” “I’m sorry but I need to ask a question.” Those are little bit more polite ways to interrupt people. So hang on a sec. Hang on. Do you have any questions? Like this. Okay. ‘Hang on’. 4. on one hand and on the other hand The next thing I’d like to draw your attention to is something that Dan uses, a language pattern, and it’s kind of a duel, that means a double language pattern. It goes together. That is ‘on one hand’ and ‘on the other hand’. You use these phrases any time you want to point out opposing sides, opposite sides of any particular issue. Dan’s talking about the movie 50 First Dates and he says, “Every day this woman cannot remember this guy but he does remember.” So that’s the issue, and then Dan says, “No, I mean on the one hand, you can make a case that he’s really in love with her, going after her day after day,” which is kind of the positive side of the issue. Then Dan says, “But on the other hand, there is something kind of creepy that he knows all the stuff about her and she doesn’t know anything about him.” So that’s the other side of the issue. It might be a little strange or odd or creepy or weird that he’s attracted to this woman even though he knows that she cannot remember from day to day what’s actually going on.



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Use this: “On the one hand, A, but on the other hand, B.” You can use your voice to show the inflection between the two. The positive one you can say one way and the negative one you can say the other. Let me give you a couple of examples. Pay attention to my intonation and how I deliver this. We’re going to have a party with my friends. It’s his birthday. It’s on Thursday night at a restaurant and I know lots of interesting people are going to be there. I’m looking forward to going, but I’m not sure if I really want to go or not because I have to get up early in the morning on Friday. So I might say something like, “Well, should I go or not. Hmm, let’s see. Well, on one hand it’s going to be lots of fun and I’m going to meet lots of people and I might drink a little bit and have a really good time. But on the other hand, I got to work really early the next morning so I’m afraid I might be out too late and too sleepy the next day.” That’s one example. Let’s take another example: gun control in the USA. This is a very controversial issue for many people because on the one hand, with gun control, with greater gun control, people’s lives will be safer and it will actually save lives. The more gun control, statistics show, actually saves more lives. Fewer people will die. But on the other hand, it’s written in the constitution that people have a right. They have a right to bear arms, to own guns and weapons. That’s a bit of a problem because people have this constitutional right and they feel that they have the freedom to do it so by changing the gun laws and taking their guns away, you are taking away part of their culture, part of their traditions. So there are two opposing sides. On the one hand it’s good and on the other hand it’s bad. Like this. See if you can use this when talking about contentious issues, issues that are controversial or that may have opposing sides. Okay, I hope that’s clear.



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5. it makes you wonder Later I say, “It makes you wonder.” We’re talking about this guy who keeps seeing this woman over and over again, and I say, “Well, it kind of makes you wonder what his motives are in staying in that relationship.” Anytime something raises a question or causes you to question something, you can use this phrase ‘it makes you wonder’. It makes you ask the question. It actually begs the question. For example, recently, we have a tree in our garden, in our front garden, and our garden is very small and it’s basically surrounded by concrete. There’s not many other plants around the houses next door. There’s no continuation of trees and things. Then suddenly, all these caterpillars appeared just out of nowhere and started eating all the leaves. Within just a couple of weeks, all the leaves on the tree were gone. And it just kind of makes you wonder, how on earth did those caterpillars get there so quickly? They just appeared! I wonder what happened. How did that happen? Another example might be, here in Japan the birth rate is super low. It’s like one of the lowest in the world. It kind of makes you wonder because Japan is a fairly developed country. In fact, it’s one of the wealthiest countries in the world. Why? It sort of makes you wonder, why is the birth rate so low? Japanese people can certainly afford to have children but why is the birth rate so low? It kind of makes you wonder. Likewise, Japanese people have the longest lifespans in the world. They live longer than just about any other group of people. It kind of makes you wonder why, especially nowadays with globalization and all the fast food people are eating and all the convenience store food that’s loaded with preservatives and sugar and salt and things like that. It kind of makes you wonder why they still have the longest lifespan in the world. That’s when you use the phrase ‘it makes you wonder’.



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6. along the lines A bit later in the discussion, Dan brings up a book called Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind. He says, “Have you ever read it?” and I said, “Yes. It’s by Suzuki,” meaning D.T. Suzuki. Dan says, “Yeah, there’s a great first sentence in that. Something along the lines of…” And then I interrupt him. Basically, when you cannot remember something that someone said to you, or you cannot remember exactly what they said or what you read or what you saw or what you heard, you can use this ‘along the lines’ phrase to try to communicate the general meaning of what they said as best as you can. That communicates to the listener, when you say ‘along the lines’, it communicates to the listener that what I am going to tell you is not exactly what the person told me, but it’s close to the best of my ability to remember what that person said or what I read in a book. One example might be, let’s say I’m talking with my co-workers at a morning coffee break and I tell them, “Yeah, you know what? I met the boss last night for dinner and drinks. And we had lots of conversation but one of the things that he said, and I’m not sure exactly what it was, but it’s something along the lines of, “If we cannot make this company more profitable, then people will start losing their jobs.” That’s not his exact words, but it was something along the lines of that. That might be an example of how this phrase might be used in the conversation. 7. dry humor A bit later, we’re talking about memory and remembering something from the distant past and how accurate it would be. Then Dan says, “Well, I think if it was between me and you, the answer to whose memory would be more accurate would probably be mine. But that aside, the person who had thought about it more over those ten years would probably be the one who remembered it more inaccurately.”



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This is an example of what I call ‘dry humor’ and it’s basically Dan’s attempt to be funny. This kind of humor only works if the listener or listeners truly understand the full context of the conversation and the relationship between the speaker and the listener, or the speaker and the listeners. This kind of humor is very hard to pick up on or understand if you’re not familiar with the speaker and the listener and the full context. Sometimes, native speakers will use this kind of humor and it’s hard to pick up on. There’s another good phrase, ‘pick up on’. It’s hard to pick up on unless you have full understanding of the context. I just wanted to point out that he didn’t really believe that his would be more accurate. He was just making a joke and I understood it. I think I remember laughing a little bit. It wasn’t that funny, Dan. . 8. just roll with it I’m going to move on into the next phrase which is ‘just roll with it’. We’re talking about the situation where a mother is experiencing dementia. She cannot remember things at all. Her daughter has come to help her and live with her and the daughter’s husband also is living with them. Dan says, “Well, the best thing rather than trying to correct the mother’s lack of memory and tell her what is true and what is not, is just to roll with it. Whatever she says, just roll with it, and that will be the best. Don’t try to correct her. Just be with her and wherever she’s going, just go with. Just roll with it.” Basically what this means is to adapt yourself and just follow the situation. Follow the context wherever it goes and don’t try to control it or change it or fight it. Just like a log floating down a river, the log is an inanimate object and it cannot control where the river is talking it. Whereas a swimmer in the river does have some control, depending on the strength of the current, where to go and how to fight that current o save his or her life or to get to a certain point in the river. That’s what he means. Even if it’s totally crazy what the mother says, just pretend that it’s real. Just roll with it.



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You might hear this when people are taking about difficulties in life. If things aren’t going your way in life, if things are too difficult, well, just roll with it. It will create less stress and fewer problems for you. You might hear someone say, “Yeah there’s lots of changes going on in our society right now especially with the new government but instead of fighting these changes, maybe it’s just best to roll with them. Give the government a chance to make things better for the citizens, something like that. Another way you can communicate the same meaning is to say ‘go with the flow’. Some people say ‘go with the flow’ or you also hear ‘roll with the punches’. Sometimes in life you have to roll with the punches. You have to go with the flow. Just roll with it. Just go with it. 9. toe the line A few more. One of them is ‘tow the line’. Dan says, “The mother started to just love her son-in-law and started to just question, “Who is this woman?”” referring to her daughter. “Who is this woman living in my house? Hey, you better toe the line or I’m going to kick you out.” ‘Toe the line’ basically means to follow the rules strictly, to submit to authority, to conform with the rules of the culture that you’re in. It kind of has an authoritarian meaning. For this reason I think it comes from perhaps a military origin where the military sergeant would yell at the privates and say, “Okay, line up!” and people had to run and toe the line. Put their toes right on a straight line so that everyone is lined up. I’m sure you can imagine this in a public school or a private school system that’s very strict and authoritarian where the students at a certain time have to line up and they need to toe the line. They need to follow orders, they need to obey their teachers, or the soldiers need to obey their superiors. So ‘toe the line’. You also hear this in politics. Some politicians, when it comes to voting or making decisions, they toe the party line. They always toe the party line. What that means essentially is they just do whatever the party does. They don’t think for themselves. They just follow the decisions that their political party wants to make. That can be good or bad depending on what you want out of your politician.



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10. in your hands Finally, one more and ‘it’s in your hands’. We’re talking about a situation where your parent, your mother or your father, completely goes senile and cannot even remember who you are often. In this situation you have to be pretty committed to that relationship, is what I say. You have to keep it going because, really, that relationship is in your hands at that point. You can walk away and let someone else deal with it or you can make a commitment to staying there even though that person doesn’t know who you are. It’s in your hands, that decision. That person’s fate is in your hands. That means you’re in control of it. The situation is in your control. It’s up to you to decide what to do. People use this by changing ‘your’ to ‘in my hands’, ‘it’s in his hands’, ‘it’s in our hands’, ‘it’s in their hands’, et cetera. It just depends on the situation how you use this phrase. One example might be, you’re walking along and suddenly you see a car accident and someone’s lying there, bleeding on the road. You need to do first aid on that injured person until the paramedics arrive by ambulance. After that, it’s in their hands. It’s no longer in your hands. It’s in their hands. The fate of that injured person is in their hands. Another example might be, “Oh hey, I went on a job interview last week and I did the best I could. I thought I gave a really good interview. I thought it went really well. But now the decision is totally in their hands so I’m just waiting to hear from them. It’s all in their hands now. My fate as to whether I get the job or not is no longer in my hands. It’s in their hands. It’s up to them. That’s another phrase, ‘up to’ that you can use. It’s up to them, it’s up to the paramedics, it’s up to that guy, et cetera. What you do with all of these vocabulary and languages patterns that I’ve just talked about is totally in your hands now. It’s in your control. It’s up to you. Are you going to use these in conversation or are you just going to listen and forget them? It’s in your hands.



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PHOTO CREDITS LIFE ON A LOOP

Photo Cover, fran.trudeau, Many Suns (CC BY 2.0) (https://www.flickr.com/photos/21898655@N05/8300759398)


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Life-On-A-Loop