APPLYING THE SCIENCE OF HAPPINESS IN THE CONSULTING ROOM

Life is Good:Insights from The Science of HappinessBill OHanlonwww.billohanlon.com1Here are some speaker notesWhat is Positive Psychology?Research evidence about what works in human life; what makes people happier; what gives their lives a sense of satisfaction and meaning; what helps them function better;Also called Subjective Well-Being2There are some benefits of happinessHappy people:Are half as likely to die over the same time period as othersDanner, D.D., Snowdon, D.A. & Friesen, W.V. (2001). Positive emotions in early life and longevity: Findings from the Nun Study, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 80:804-813.Diener, Ed and Seligman, Martin. (2002). Very happy people, Psychological Science, 13:81-84.Half as likely to be disabledLive longer than averageHave better health habitsHave lower blood pressureHave more robust immune systemsAre more productive on the jobAre able to tolerate more pain3

There even seem to be economic benefits to happinessCheerful college students ended up earning $25,000 more per year than their dour counterparts.

King, Laura and Lyubomirsky, Sonja. (2005). The benefits of frequent positive affect: Does happiness lead to success? Psychological Bulletin, 131:803-855.4Happiness is relatively stableOne year after winning the lottery or becoming quadriplegic, peoples happiness level return to where they were before the drastic change of circumstance (Happiness Set Point; genetically influenced but not fixed)Brickman, P.; Coates, D.; and Janoff-Bulman, R. (1978). Lottery winners and accident victims: Is happiness relative? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 36:917-27.There are some things that seem to permanently increase happiness levelsPeople are generally pretty bad at predicting what will make them happy

5Psychological studies are biased toward the negativePsychological publications and studies dealing with negative states outnumbered those examining positive states by a ratio of 17 to 1 in a survey done in 1995.

Myers, D. and Deiner, E. (1995) Who is Happy?, Psychological Science, 6:10-19.6The Power of Negative ThinkingI was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought: What the hell good would that do? Ronnie Shakes The essence of this approachDiscover what works and whats going wellFocus on what can enhance rather than merely fix human lifeFocus on resources rather than problemsIdentify and enhance strengthsSeligmans List of Virtues/Signature Strengths:Six areas [The Reverse-DSM]Wisdom and KnowledgeCourageLove and HumanityJusticeTemperanceSpirituality and Transcendence

Find this list and some self-tests at:www.viacharacter.org9Wisdom and KnowledgeCognitive strengths that entail the acquisition and use of knowledge10CourageEmotional strengths that involve the exercise of will to accomplish goals in the face of opposition, external or internal11Love and HumanityInterpersonal strengths that involve tending and befriending others12JusticeCivic strengths that underlie healthy community life13TemperanceStrengths that protect against excess14TranscendenceStrengths that forge connections to the larger universe and thereby provide meaning15Happiness is challenging"The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself. Benjamin Franklin

16Problems with deliberately pursuing happiness We are bad at predicting what will make us happy We overestimate the negative effects of bad stuff We overestimate the lasting happiness/satisfaction that will result from good stuff Our preferences change Habituation/the hedonic treadmill17But all is not lost; one can increase happiness (but not directly)Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities. Aldous Huxley18Four Keys to Unlock HappinessS.O.A.P.Social ConnectionsOptimismAppreciation (Gratitude)Purpose (greater than oneself)19S.O.A.P.Social ConnectionsandHappiness20Social connections and happinessCountless studies document the link between society and psyche: people who have close friends and confidants, friendly neighbors, and supportive co-workers are less likely to experience sadness, loneliness, low self-esteem, and problems with eating and sleeping.The single most common finding from a half century's research on the correlates of life satisfaction, not only in the United States but around the world, is that happiness is best predicted by the breadth and depth of one's social connections.Putnam, Robert D. 2000. Bowling alone: the collapse and revival of American community. New York: Simon & Schuster, p. 332)21RelationshipsBy far the greatest predictor of happiness in the literature is intimate relationships. Sonja Lyubomirsky, researcher at UC-Riverside, author of The How of Happiness22Social connections can help reduce PTSDBeing with someone else during an earthquake is protective against PTSDArmenian, H. et. Al. (2000). Loss as a determinant of PTSD in a cohort of adult survivors of the 1998 earthquake in Armenia: Implications for policy, Acta Psychiatr. Scand., 102(1):58-64.Post-traumatic stress disorder sufferers in group treatment recovered at a significantly higher rate (88.3%) than those in individual treatment (31.3%)Beck, J. et.al. (2009).Group Cognitive Behavior Therapy for Chronic Posttraumatic Stress Disorder: An Initial Randomized Pilot Study, Behavior Therapy, 40(1):82-92.Positive social talk mattersThe amount and type of parental talk to infants varied between disadvantaged families and those who had higher incomes and educationDisadvantaged parents generally talked less than advantaged (10 million words vs. 80 million words)Disadvantaged parents directed more discouragements (no; shut up; stop) to their kids (200,000 vs. 80,000 encouragements [chit chat; positive comments; gossip; joking; running commentary; praise])Advantaged parents had a reversal of this ratio (500,000 encouragements to 80,000 discouragements)It turns out that these differences have profound and hard to reverse effects on intellectual and academic achievement (vocabulary growth and standardized intellectual achievement tests measured at ages 3 and 9)Hart, B. and Risley, T. (1995). Meaningful Differences in the Everyday Experience of Young American Children. Baltimore: Paul H. Brookes Publishing CompanySocial connections are at risk in modern societiesShared family dinners and family vacations are down over a third in the last 25 yearsHaving friends over to the house is down by 45% over the last 25 yearsParticipation in clubs and civic organizations is down by over 50% in the last 25 yearsChurch attendance is down by about a third since the 1960s

Putnam, Robert D. (2000). Bowling Alone: The collapse and revival of American community. New York: Simon & Schuster.

See also: http://www.bettertogether.org/

Social connections are at risk in modern societies65% of Americans spend more time with their computers than with their spouses

Kelton Research, the "Cyber Stress" study, Digital Home Services, Parks 2007

Even in severe poverty, social connections help happiness levelsRobert Biswas-Diener and Ed Diener surveyed life satisfaction of the homeless and prostitutes living in the slums of Calcutta and found that healthy bonds with family and good social relationships were correlated with higher life satisfaction levels.

Biswas-Diener, R. and Diener, E. (2001). Making the best of a bad situation: Satisfaction in the slums of Calcutta, Social Indicators Research, 55, 329-352.27Relevant researchHappily married couples say 5 positive remarks for every negative remark, even when having conflicts

Couples who are headed for divorce use less than 1 (0.8) positive remarks for every negative one

Source: Gottman, J., Gottman, J. And DeClaire, J.(2006). 10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage. NY: Crown.28S.O.A.P.OptimismandHappiness29Optimism and Happiness What we can learn from some psychotically optimistic dogs30Good to knowOptimistic and pessimistic styles and tendencies are relatively stable traits, but they can be affected by actions and changed focus of attentionOne study found that even naturally pessimistic people who spent one week doing exercises in which they:Identified and wrote down times in the past in which they were at their bestWrote down their personal strengthsExpressed gratitude to someone they had never properly thankedWrote down three good things that happened that dayWere happier when their happiness levels were measured 6 months later

Seligman, M., Stern, T., Park, N & Peterson, C. (2005). Positive Psychology progress: Empirical validation of interventions, American Psychologist, 60: 410-421.31Creating or restoring hopeRehabilitating or inviting people into preferred, compelling positive futures32Elspeth McAdam. . . A young girl I was working with had experienced abuse. She walked into my office as a very large girl with shaved hair, tattoos on her head, and I don't think she had showered in a week. I had been asked to see her because she was so angry. She clearly didn't want to come and see an expletive expletive shrink. She was very angry at being there. I just said to her, 'You've talked to everybody about your past. Let's talk about your dreams for the future.' And her whole face just lit up when she said her dream was to become a princess. In my mind I could not think of two more opposite visionsbut I took her very seriously. I asked her about what the concept of princess meant for her. 33Elspeth McAdamShe started talking about being a people's princess who would do things for other people, who would be caring and generous and a beautiful ambassador. She described a princess who was slender and well dressed. Over the next few months, we started talking about what this princess would be doing. I discovered that, while this girl was 14 and hadn't been attending school for a long time, the princess was a social worker. I said, 'Okay it is now ten year's time and you have trained as a social worker. What university did you go to?' She mentioned one in the north of England. I asked, 'What did you read [study] there?' She said, 'I don't know, psychology and sociology and a few other things like that.' Then I said, 'Do you remember when you were 14? You'd been out of school for two or three years. Do you remember how you got back in school?'34Elspeth McAdamShe said, 'I had this psychiatrist who helped me.' I said, 'How did she help you?' And she started talking about how we made a phone call to the school. I said, "Who spoke? Did you or her?' She replied, 'The psychiatrist spoke but she arranged a meeting for us to go to the school.' I said, 'Do you remember how you shook hands with the head teacher when you went in? And how you looked and what you wore?' We went into these minute details about what that particular meeting was likelooking from the future back. And she was able to describe the conversations we had had, how confident she had been, how well she had spoken, and the subjects she had talked about. I didn't say any more about it.35Elspeth McAdamAbout a month after this conversation she said to me, 'I think it's about time we went to the school, don't you? Can you ring and make an appointment?' I asked if she needed to talk about it anymore and she said no, that she knew how to behave. When we went into the school she was just brilliant. I first met that girl ten years ago. Now she is a qualified social worker. She fulfilled her dreamalthough she didn't go to the university she mentioned.36Letter From The FutureWrite a letter from your future self to your current self from a place you are happier and have resolved the issues that are concerning you nowFrom [five years/two months/ten years/one year] from now; let your intuition and their response guide the time frame; adjust as necessaryDescribe where you are, what you are doing, what you have gone through to get there, and so onWrite about the crucial things you realized or did to get there or write about some crucial turning points that led to this futureGive yourself some sage and compassionate advice from the future37Letter From The FutureUse these questions to guide their letter writing:What have you learned and gained perspective on since back in [fill in the present date/year]?What things were you worried or frightened about in those days that seem trivial or far away for you today?What problems seemed overwhelming or insurmountable in those days that you did eventually resolve or overcome?What sage advice would your future self give to that present self?What comfort or reassurance would your future self give to your present self?Who were you troubled by, frightened by or concerned with that now doesnt matter as much?38S.O.A.P.AppreciationandHappiness39Three Aspects of AppreciationHighlighting Gratitude to Oneself: Note to oneself things that one can be grateful for on a weekly basisSavor: Note to oneself or others what one appreciates aesthetically, like a beautiful sunset, a good meal, and so onExpressing Gratitude to Others: Express appreciation to those people one values and is grateful to40AppreciationAweGratitudeThankfulnessRecognizing grace (unearned blessings)Showing and expressing appreciation to othersMindfulnessSavoring

Ricky Boone Who blessed you?Exercise: Finding/identifying angels, mentors and modelsWho has taken a special interest in you and encouraged you?Who believes or believed in you?Who has been/is your mentor?Who have been your inspirational models?Who has blessed you?Who has been your angel?43The Gratitude ExerciseAt the end of each day, after dinner and before going to sleep, write down three things that went well during the day. Do this every night for a week. The three things you list can be relatively small or large in importance. After each positive event on your list, answer in your own words the question: Why did this good thing happen?

This exercise was found to increase happiness and decrease depression up to 6 months after the week. [Note: 60% of participants carried on the habit.]

Seligman, M.; Steen, T.A.; Park, N.; and Peterson, C. (2005). Positive psychology progress: Empirical validation of interventions, American Psychologist, 60:410-421.44Gratitude/appreciation Expressing gratitude has a short-term positive effect (several weeks) on happiness levels (up to a 25% increase) Those who are typically or habitually grateful are happier than those who arent habitually grateful

Park, N. Peterson, C. and Seligman, M. (2004). Strengths of character and well-being among youth, Unpublished manuscript, U. of Rhode Island.45Gratitude LettersIn research studies, both initiator and recipient of a gratitude letter report positive outcomes. Instructions: Write a gratitude letter to a person you choose, expressing your gratitude and for what and why, specifically, you are grateful.If at all possible, deliver it personally and ask the person to read the letter in your presence. If personal delivery is not possible, mail, fax, or email the letter and follow up with a phone call.Source: Chris Peterson, A Primer in Positive PsychologySavoringSavor: To appreciate fully; enjoy or relish - American Heritage DictionaryPay full attention; engageUse as many of the senses as you can (sight, sound, touch, taste, smell)Dont multi-task; focus on what you are experiencing or perceivingDont overdo; savoring diminishes due to the hedonic adaptation if done too much or too oftenShare it with others

Three Types of SavoringAnticipating something good [Future-oriented savoring]Enjoying something in the present moment [Present-oriented savoring]Remembering something pleasurable from the past [Past-oriented savoring]S.O.A.P.Purpose/meaningandHappiness49The Meaningful Life and HappinessSeveral studies with older Americans find that one of the best predictors of happiness is whether or not a person thinks his or her life has a purpose. If they had no such sense of purpose, seven out of ten people studied felt unsettled about their lives; if they had a sense of purpose seven out of ten felt satisfied.

Lepper, H. (1996). In Pursuit of Happiness and Satisfaction in Later Life: A Study of Competing Theories of Subjective Well-Being. Ph.D. Dissertation, UC Riverside.50The Meaningful Life and HappinessCollege students who enjoyed their lives and studies were compared to those who didnt. The main difference was that those students who were happier had an underlying sense of purpose in life.

Rahman, T. and Khaleque, A. (1996). The purpose in life and academic behavior problem students, Social Indicators Research, 39:59.51Elements of the Meaningful Life Purpose Contribution Engaging work or activities Finding meaning in suffering Turning negative or hurtful events into happiness or satisfaction with positive connotations or meaning52Four Key FindingsS.O.A.P.Social ConnectionsOptimismAppreciation (Gratitude)Purpose (greater than oneself)53A Mnemonic: P.O.S.I.T.I.V.E.Purpose/MeaningOptimismSocial ConnectionsIncreased Gratitude/AppreciationTake care of othersIncome above a certain levelVocational securityExerciseEgyptian Afterlife Entry QuestionsHave you found joy in your life?Has your life brought joy to others?

Source: The Bucket List, starring Morgan Freeman and Jack NicholsonBest Summary BooksMartin Seligman, Authentic HappinessChris Peterson, A Primer in Positive PsychologySonja Lyubomirsky, The How of HappinessEric Weiner, The Geography of BlissDan Gilbert, Stumbling On HappinessResources Journal of Happiness Studies www.authentichappiness.orgwww.pos-psych.com www.ppc.sas.upenn.edu www.bus.umich.edu/Positive www.viastrengths.org www.centreforconfidence.co.uk www.psych.uiuc.edu/~ediener people.virginia.edu/~jdh6n www.faculty.ucr.edu/~sonja89.234.4.50/cappeu/index.aspx57Bill OHanlons infoWebsites:http://www.BillOHanlon.comhttp://www.PublishingaBook.comhttp://www.PaidPublicSpeaker.com

Email:Bill@billohanlon.com

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