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Meetings That Rock ©
Lesson 3: Dialogue
Barbara MacKay, CPF, CTF
North Star Facilitators
(503) 579-5708
www.NorthStarFacilitators.com
Leading
Focused And
Productive
Discussions
Facilitator Tools for Sharing Ideas in Meetings©
WELCOME EVERYONE!
With whom did you recently share a cup of coffee or tea?
What did you learn about him or her?
Over 35 Tips, Tools &
Techniques for Meetings
2.Agenda Design Tools
3. Discussion & Conflict Resolution
Tools
4. Consensus Tools
5. Brain-storming & Creativity
Tools
6. Decision-Making Tools
1. Participation
Tools
Course Overview
Meetings That Rock ©
Lesson 3: Dialogue
Barbara MacKay, CPF, CTF
North Star Facilitators
(503) 579-5708
www.NorthStarFacilitators.com
ON DISCUSSIONS…
“We can judge our progress by the
courage of our questions
and the
depth of our answers,
our willingness to embrace what is true
rather than what feels good.”
― Carl Sagan, scientist, 1934-1996
OUR CENTRAL QUESTION
How can we use structure and open ended questions to ensure high quality
discussions?
� Turn pages – 1 second per page
� Lightly glance at entire page
� Mark any pages that intrigue you
� Complete “photo-read” of document in 3 minutes
Document 3 Review
Meetings That Rock ©
Lesson 3: Dialogue
Barbara MacKay, CPF, CTF
North Star Facilitators
(503) 579-5708
www.NorthStarFacilitators.com
DOCUMENT REVIEW
� What stands out for you?
� What is most interesting?
� What will be most useful?
Your Playwork
What would you REALLY like help with when it comes to
leading productive discussions or
resolving conflict?
WHY ARE WE HERE?
Rational Aims:
� Practice writing pithy open-ended questions� Learn frameworks for discussions and conflict resolution� Know how to sequence questions to keep group on track
Experiential Aims:
� Internalize importance of structure for focused thinking
� Be excited to try out new dialogue skills
Meetings That Rock ©
Lesson 3: Dialogue
Barbara MacKay, CPF, CTF
North Star Facilitators
(503) 579-5708
www.NorthStarFacilitators.com
WHAT WILL WE LEARN?
� Open-ended vs. Close-ended Questions
� Three Frameworks: ToP© Focused ConversationSix Thinking Hats Nonviolent Communication
� Over-participation Behavior
� Resources: Sample Questions � Tips for Results� Seven C’s for Crucial Conversations�
Leading Productive Discussions
(adapted from IAF and ToP professional facilitator certification program)
THIS WEEK’S COMPETENCY
TODAY’S AGENDA
� Overview (20 ‘)� Crafting Questions (10’)� Dialogue Frameworks (15’)� Practice: Conflict Scenarios
(50’+ 5’break)� Difficult Behaviors (10’)� Closing (10’)
Meetings That Rock ©
Lesson 3: Dialogue
Barbara MacKay, CPF, CTF
North Star Facilitators
(503) 579-5708
www.NorthStarFacilitators.com
ON DISCUSSIONS…
1. Discussions need structure.
2. Powerful, open-ended questions provoke thoughtfulness.
3. People respond well when given many ways to offer their ideas or answers.
QUESTIONS:IMPORTANT!
QUESTIONS:OPEN vs. CLOSED
INVITES AUTHENTIC DIALOGUE
“What did you hear me say?”
“How will this help you resolve the situation?”
LIMITS TO YES/NO RESPONSE
“Did you hear what I said?”
“Will this help you resolve the situation?”
OPEN
CLO
SED
Meetings That Rock ©
Lesson 3: Dialogue
Barbara MacKay, CPF, CTF
North Star Facilitators
(503) 579-5708
www.NorthStarFacilitators.com
Your Playwork
On your own, come up with 3 good discussion
questions on:Rational Aim:
• Develop a new employee policy for working at home
Experiential Aim:
• Comfortable with draft and policy
ON DISCUSSIONS…
Steps to create a discussion:
1. Define Rational and Experiential aims.
2. Brainstorm open-ended questions.
3. Sequence them to flow.
THREE FRAMEWORKS
1)ToP FC2) Six Hats3) NVC
Meetings That Rock ©
Lesson 3: Dialogue
Barbara MacKay, CPF, CTF
North Star Facilitators
(503) 579-5708
www.NorthStarFacilitators.com
Your Playwork
Which of these dialogue methods do you already use?
FRAMEWORK: ToP©
ToP© (Technology of Participation) Focused Conversation Methodfrom the Institute of Cultural Affairs (www.ica-usa.org)
• Provides a structured way to process information
• Refers to 4 levels of thinking
• Applies to any discussion topic; structure useful for designing workshops or meeting segments
FRAMEWORK: ToP©
ORID
Meetings That Rock ©
Lesson 3: Dialogue
Barbara MacKay, CPF, CTF
North Star Facilitators
(503) 579-5708
www.NorthStarFacilitators.com
FRAMEWORK: Six Thinking Hats
Dr. Edward de Bono’s Technique
• Restricts “ego defense”
• Directs attention to different aspects and allows for switching gears
• Releases different brain chemicals
• Establishes “rules of the game”
FRAMEWORK: Six Thinking Hats
6 Colors=
6 Responses
Red Hat: Feelings/Emotions
Black Hat: Cons
Green Hat: Idea Generation
Blue Hat: Design/Summary
FRAMEWORK: NVC
Dr. Marshall B. Rosenberg’s Dialogue Model
• Refers to “Non-Violent Communication” (NVC) (www.cnvc.org)
• Uses empathy as the key tone
• Helps resolve deeply-rooted issues/conflicts
• Creates an atmosphere of safety
Meetings That Rock ©
Lesson 3: Dialogue
Barbara MacKay, CPF, CTF
North Star Facilitators
(503) 579-5708
www.NorthStarFacilitators.com
FRAMEWORK: NVC
Observation
Naming the Feeling
Identifying the Unmet Need
Making the Request
EmpathyCompassion
ON CONFLICT DISCUSSIONS…
“Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis
and expression of anger is the
tragic expression of an unmet need.”
-Marshall B. Rosenberg
FRAMEWORK COMPARISON
Framework ToP FocusedConversation
Six Thinking Hats
NonViolentCommunication
Open-ended
questions
Yes Sometimes Sometimes
Use for Any situation Problem solving in limited time
ConflictEmpathy
Levels Four Six Four
Sequencing in order in any order in order
Time required? 5’-2 hours20-30’ average
6-20’ 30’-2 hours
Meetings That Rock ©
Lesson 3: Dialogue
Barbara MacKay, CPF, CTF
North Star Facilitators
(503) 579-5708
www.NorthStarFacilitators.com
Your Playwork
STEP 1:On your own, brainstorm open-ended questions to meet given aims of your
assigned meeting scenario. Feel free to consult handout.
Pages21-24
Your Playwork
SCENARIO 1:Conflict! Staff are upset. A few employees are
mistreating other employees. You don’t know much more. Aims: help them articulate what is upsetting them and
begin to find ways to resolve the tension.
Your Playwork
SCENARIO 2: Changes! Management just
announced upcoming organizational changes and
new processes. Staff demoralized and fearful
for job security. Aims: help them articulate what is upsetting them and begin to find ways to resolve
the tension.
Meetings That Rock ©
Lesson 3: Dialogue
Barbara MacKay, CPF, CTF
North Star Facilitators
(503) 579-5708
www.NorthStarFacilitators.com
Your Playwork
STEP 2:In triads, share questions. Identify 6-8 “good” ones to
share with larger group. Make sure at least 1-2 questions for each level.
Your Playwork
STEP 3:In your same triad, sequence
your revised 6-8 questions into four levels using the dialogue
template provided.
DIALOGUE TEMPLATE
ObjectiveObservation
ReflectiveEmotional
InterpretiveOptions
SummaryOutcomes
FactsWhat Level
FeelingsGut Level
AnalysisSo What Level
DecisionsNow What Level
Meetings That Rock ©
Lesson 3: Dialogue
Barbara MacKay, CPF, CTF
North Star Facilitators
(503) 579-5708
www.NorthStarFacilitators.com
Your Playwork
POLL:How will using a structured approach help with someone who has “over-participation” behavior?
ON OVER-PARTICIPATION… Two Core Principles:
1. Remember Human Need for: Connection Community
Recognition Visibility Contribution
Independence Affirmation
2. Balance the Power Dynamics.
ON OVER-PARTICIPATION…
1. Small Groups
2. Group Writes Own Data
2. Walk Abouts
3. Round Robins
Top Eight Strategies
Meetings That Rock ©
Lesson 3: Dialogue
Barbara MacKay, CPF, CTF
North Star Facilitators
(503) 579-5708
www.NorthStarFacilitators.com
ON OVER-PARTICIPATION…
Top Eight Strategies:
5. Group Guidelines
6. Pre-Work
7. Multiple Intelligences
8. ConstructivistListening
ON OVER-PARTICIPATION…
When a dominant participant declares:
“I’m right; you’re wrong!”
“I won’t support this idea!”
“I’m not listening to this!”
ON DISCUSSIONS…
“I’d like to hear from as many people as possible. I’m going to ask those who
have already spoken to not raise their hands or offer ideas until we’ve heard
from a few other people.”
Adapted from:
“Facilitating Uphill: Intervention
Strategies for Challenging Meetings”
by Ingrid Bens
Sample response:
Meetings That Rock ©
Lesson 3: Dialogue
Barbara MacKay, CPF, CTF
North Star Facilitators
(503) 579-5708
www.NorthStarFacilitators.com
ON DISCUSSIONS…
“Can you please share with us in less than 2 minutes why you object to this idea or
why this idea is upsetting? I’ll set a timer so you know when your time is up.”
ON DISCUSSIONS…
“At today’s meeting, you spoke 20 minutes longer than we agreed upon. When this happens, I become anxious because I like to meet the
meeting schedule. Would you be willing to make an effort to keep to our agreed upon time in the
future.”
As a last resort, take them aside and say…:
THE HUMAN CONNECTION…
From the YouTube channel of Soul Pancake:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfHV4-N2LxQ&list=SP270B0DE5FA9A2C88
What happens when 2 strangers spend time in a “ball pit” and have a conversation by way of focused questions… (N.B. Skip through parts – aim for 3-4’) Task: Write down the questions they used.
Meetings That Rock ©
Lesson 3: Dialogue
Barbara MacKay, CPF, CTF
North Star Facilitators
(503) 579-5708
www.NorthStarFacilitators.com
Your Playwork
Which of the 3 frameworks are you
drawn to? Why?
Where will you apply these frameworks?
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
SAMPLE QUESTIONS
Refer to pages 21-26 of your
handout for the full list!
Analysis and Meaning:How can we measure our success?What are the key negotiating points?
Decisional:What are our next steps?How would you summarize what we did today?
Meetings That Rock ©
Lesson 3: Dialogue
Barbara MacKay, CPF, CTF
North Star Facilitators
(503) 579-5708
www.NorthStarFacilitators.com
TIPS FOR RESULTS
Refer to pages 21-26 of your
handout for the full list!
Know why you are asking the questions.
Read your questions out loud to yourself. Test for flow and clarity.
Ask only one question at a time.
TIPS FOR RESULTS
Refer to pages 21-26 of your
handout for the full list!
Be prepared to repeat the question in a slightly different way if there are puzzled looks.
Acknowledge each person’s response with body language (head nod, smile) or a simple thank you.
SEVEN C’s…
Setting Up Difficult Discussions
1. Clarify
2. Choose
3. Consider
4. Craft
Meetings That Rock ©
Lesson 3: Dialogue
Barbara MacKay, CPF, CTF
North Star Facilitators
(503) 579-5708
www.NorthStarFacilitators.com
SEVEN C’s…
Setting Up Difficult Discussions
5. Confidence
6. Context
7. Collaboration
REFLECT,LINK,COMMIT
o Remember: You can lead highly productive and focused conversations.
o Link: Do 2-3 practice exercises in the workbook
o Commit: Come back with a really good question, on a topic relevant to you, that you are proud to ask.
SEE YOU FOR PART 4:
CONSENSUS
May you
reflect on these ideas,
link to the resources,
commit to
ENSURING HIGH QUALITY DISCUSSIONS
and
make your MEETINGS ROCK!
Meetings That Rock ©
Lesson 3: Dialogue
Barbara MacKay, CPF, CTF
North Star Facilitators
(503) 579-5708
www.NorthStarFacilitators.com
All photos were taken by Barbara at
actual events in her practice and
on trips.
Thanks especially to the
participants and co-facilitators of
different sessions worldwide
and the
natural elements of Oregon, Korea,
Brazil, Kenya and Australia.