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Produced by the Kulin Community Resource Centre: Business Hours: Mon to Fri 9.00am - 4.30pm

Phone: 08 9880 1021 Fax : 08 9880 1061 Email: rcmgr@kulin.wa.gov.au

12th December 2013

Kulin Late Night Shopping Festivities

ON the 20th of December Kulin will be holding its

annual Late Night Shopping Christmas Festivities.

This event will allow our local businesses,

community groups and community members to

showcase their services and products. This night is

an opportunity for the community of Kulin to come

to together for some Christmas cheer and promote

the idea of “Think Local, Shop Local”.

Participating businesses will be offering discounts,

Christmas specials with a couple of businesses also

doing complimentary drinks, nibbles and customer

raffles as a way to say “thank you” to the

community for their support. In addition , there will

be a wide variety of stalls set up by local community

groups and members. So far we have 11 confirmed

stalls all providing something unique and different.

Kulin has many skilled and talented people, and it is

inspiring to see so many locals embracing the

chance to share those things with us.

Be sure to make the most of this evening to do some

last minute Christmas shopping, visit local

businesses and say “hi” or pop along to the Camp

Kulin dunking machine.

Please see the following list of participating

businesses and community members.

IGA Stalls, Santa’s Grotto, Free Draw to win a Christmas Hamper with purchases over $100, Balloons and Lollies, Complimentary Drinks and Nibbles Kulin Pub DJ, Pizza Night Gangells Agsolutions

Christmas specials, complementary drinks and

nibbles, Dunking Machine in Car park (Camp

Kulin Fundraiser)

Farmpower

Stall of ‘New Holland’ toys

Ashlee Renae Hair Studio

Open for late night shopping with Christmas

specials

Tin Horse Highway Store

Santa ‘Kev’, Lollies for children, range of beautiful

wooden toys

Kulin Hardware

Open for Late night shopping with Christmas

specials

Kulin Woolshed

Open for late night shopping

Bliss Beauty

Christmas Special ALL Stock reduced some items

by up to 50% Continued pg. 5…...

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2013/2014 ADVERTISING COSTS

Non Profit Business Colour

Classified FREE N/A N/A

Public Notices FREE N/A N/A

1/8 Page FREE $5 $8

1/4 Page $9 $9 $12

1/2 Page $12 $16 $19

Full Page $20 $29 $50

Insert (d/s) $20 $30 N/A

Thank You’s FREE FREE N/A

Editorial FREE FREE N/A

CRC Opening Hours

9.00am—4.30pm

Closed From 12.30pm-1.30pm

Monday to Friday

Xmas and New Year Hours

Closed from the 25th of December to the

1st of January 2014

Reduced Hours

5th & 24th December 9am to 3pm

2nd and 3rd of January from 9am to 3pm

Normal opening hours resume the 6th of

January

Deadlines & Editions

All articles & advertisements to be submitted no later than

3pm Tuesdays each week

NEXT DEADLINE

Tuesday 17th December

NEXT EDITION

Thursday 19th December

Please note: Only urgent messages will be emailed from the CRC to its weekly update contact list. Please contact the

manager for information

THANK YOU

A very big thank you to our hard work-

ing team who produced this edition of

the Weekly Update.

Marie Martin

Tanya Dupagne

Steve Mason

Sharon McAdam

Community and Sporting Group Memberships $50

Members Receive FREE black and white advertising for the

calendar year, January to December.

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Editorial The CRC would like to say a very big THANK YOU to a local farming family who have just purchased a T&R Home. T&R Homes puts sponsorship of $1500 back into the community with every sale. Community members who buy a T&R Home also have the opportunity to nominate a community group they would like part of the sponsorship money to be donated to. Please see article on page 4.

Please note the advertising charges and changes for The Kulin Weekly Update will come into effect on the 1st of January 2014

All Community Groups, Sporting Groups who are not managed by the Shire of Kulin please be aware that advertising costs for the Weekly update will apply from the 1st of January 2014. Groups who become CRC members will receive FREE black and white advertising. Sporting notes, thank you notes and articles will remain free.

Please see the nomination form below. Nominations for the Kulin CRC Development Committee are now open. This forms can be used to nominate yourself or someone else with their consent. This committee will be integral to the development of the CRC and how it best meets community needs while addressing CRC funding requirements.

Marie Martin

The Shire of Kulin now has Cat Traps for use by the public.

If you would like to find out more please contact

Bec at the Shire of Kulin on 9880 1204

or admin@kulin.wa.gov.au

Workshop Calendar 2014….

Excel 1 Day Workshop—Late February

This workshop will be run by the Small

Business Centre, Eastern Wheatbelt for a

minimal cost of around $30 per person.

Please register your interest. For this

workshop to run we need a minimum of 6

people. Please email or call to register

your interest.

CV, Resume and Selection Criteria– Tues-

day 28th of January. We need a minimum

of 3 appointments on this day. Donna

George will be giving free one-on-one ca-

reer guidance and support with CV, Re-

sume and Selection Criteria. email:

dgeorge@directionswa.com.au

Nomination for Kulin CRC Development Committee

Name: ______________________________

I would like to nominate for a position on the Kulin CRC

Development Committee.

I would like to nominate _____________________, with

their permission.

Signed: __________________________

Date: __________________

* Nominations must be in no later than Friday, January the

31st. Please hand in to Marie at the CRC.

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STRICTLY BALLROOM DANCING – Final Lesson for 2013 Christmas is nearly here so our final Ballroom Dancing lesson will be held 7pm to 8pm on Thursday 12th December at

the Kulin Memorial Hall. Prices are $5 per person or $10 per couple. We plan to resume lessons early 2014 so stay tuned

for times and dates! Kind regards Sharyn McAdam 0429 801 055

Partnership Between Kulin Community and T&R Homes Forged

The partnership between T&R Homes and the Community of Kulin has already started to pay off with the sale of a home. This home is the first to be sold as part of the Community Partnership Program.

The intent of the Program is as follows:

To increase awareness of TR Homes and its products and services.

To develop a network of partners to gain a presence in select locations and in doing so, create a contact point for local residents. This contact point allows TR Homes to strengthen its ties with people in those communities and sur-rounding areas.

To give back to the communities that have a partner in place by way of sponsorship to local not for profit organisa-tions e.g. sporting clubs/associations, service organisations or charities.

To utilise the skills and services of local tradesmen when houses are purchased and transported to site.

I’m pleased to announce that through the Community Network Program, we have recently sold a house to a prominent farming family in the district. As a result of the sale, TR Homes (in conjunction with its community partner – the Shire of Kulin and the Kulin CRC), is pleased to make a donation of $350 to Camp Kulin and $150 to the Kulin Cricket Club. In addition to the sponsor-ship of the two organisations, TR Homes has also provided the Shire with a donation of $500 which I believe will be directed towards a piece of equipment to support the efforts of Camp Kulin. Once the home (our Bushland design) is delivered, the Shire will receive an additional $500 to put towards a community organisation and/or initiative.

Steve Mason

Community Network Manager

Uniting Church Notes

The Uniting Church would like to invite community members of Kulin to join its service on

Sunday 15th December at 11am followed by a shared lunch.

Please bring a plate to share and enjoy with each other.

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Kulin Late Night Shopping Festivities continued...

The Studio

Open for late night shopping. The community is welcome

to come along on the 20th to explore this space. To book a

stall inside the studio contact Sandra on 0427 801 268.

MacIntoshes

Invites their customers to its ‘Christmas Sun Downer’ from

4.30pm, and extends the invitation to the community

members of Kulin. If you haven’t met Tracey and Duncan

please call in to say hi.

Participating Community Groups and Members:

Kulin Child Care

Homemade ice-cream and sausage sizzle

Camp Kulin

Dunking Machine – Dunk for a Donation

Megan & Amy Catering

Sweet Treats, Cakes and Biscuits Kon Kul Kats Garden Themed Christmas Raffle Jennifer Baker Homemade cards, photo frames and more

Twinkly Toes Rebecca Meikle

Baby hands and feet sculptures

Kulin Arts

Display inside The Studio

Kulin Lions Club

Christmas cake stall and letters to Santa

Rynell Smoker

Handcrafted baby singlets

Mulligrubs

Christmas Presents, stocking stuffers & lots of yummy

delights

Erin Bailey

Jewellery

Please call Ryan Joyce on 0447012 502

Or email bedfordharbour@gmail.com

Contract Harvesting

& Header Hire

Available Now

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CHRISTMAS IS COMING

Santa and his little helpers are heading to the Kulin Community Christmas party on

Saturday 14th December from 5.30pm held at the Kulin Freebairn Recreation Centre.

The Kulin Lions will be selling $2.50 sausage sizzle for the kids at 5.30pm.

With lights flashing and sirens sounding

SANTA will be arriving at 6pm on the

KULIN FIRE TRUCK.

The Kulin Lions will also be cooking $10 Steak OR Marinated Chicken Steak for the adults which

will be available after the presents are handed out.

Please can each family bring a salad to share.

——————————————————————————————————————————————

If you still wish to register your child for a Santa gift, please complete the form and

return to Rebecca by Wed 11th Dec.

Parent Name & Number ____________________

Childs name _____________ age____ gender___

Childs name _____________ age____ gender___

Childs name _____________ age____ gender___

Childs name _____________ age____ gender___

Please include $10 per child. Total enclosed $___

Any queries please contact Rebecca Meikle on 9880 9010

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Christmas Carol Singing

You are invited to come along to for some pre-Christmas singing.

Bring the kids, musical instruments and a sense of fun

and join us to sing Christmas Carols in the Music Room at Kulin DHS from 4pm to 5pm Tuesday 10th December.

Kulin Twilight Christmas Carols will now be held Monday 16th December.

Enquires to Sharyn McAdam 0429 801 055

Kulin Photographic Image and Art Group

Our newly formed Photographic Group had their first meeting on Monday 18th November 2013. It was a friendly and

fun start to a keen group of people willing to share their experiences and work with each other, and who have a col-

lective desire to learn more and develop both the technical and artistic elements of their Photography.

There were a lot of ideas from our meeting. The priority for the members is to undertake to learn more about the

following:

Get off Auto

Learn more about camera functions

Portraits & Landscape & Macro

Depth of Field/Composition

Post Night Photography/Use of Flash

Histograms/Rule of Thirds/Depth of Field

Processing/Photoshop

Exhibiting work

The participants are keen to access learning via Workshops, “Themed” Field Trips, and Guest Speakers. An overall outcome for 2014 is to have an Exhibition & use the photos produced by members to create 2015 calendar! In collaboration with our local CRC we will find workshops that will include a majority of the learning outcomes and work toward preparation for a Photographic Exhibition in Kulin in 2014.

Photography is very much a part of all our daily lives, we use it for fun (family shots & selfies!!!!) and our work (shots

of weeds emailed to our agronomist, uploading photos of our jewellery, craft, art & wildflowers to our facebook pag-

es and the rest!!!!). Photography is integral to our lives because it is the medium to capture the fleeting, momentous

and everyday parts of our lives.

(If you are keen to participate in the new and exciting Photographic Group then please do not hesitate to contact

Sharyn McAdam. E- karrimahfarm@bigpond.com or 0429 801 055)

Photo courtesy of Tamara Davis—Kulin

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OPEN

Tuesdays By Appointment

Wednesdays 9am-5.30pm

Thursdays 9am-8pm

Fridays By Appointment

NO EFTPOS

Call 0455 177 608

51 Johnston Street Kulin

Hair Studio

Expressions of Interest Wanted

Kulin St Johns Ambulance Have a 2004 Mercedes Sprinter Ambulance For Sale

For All the Details Please Contact:

Brendan Sloggett 0427 081 925

LIONS CLUB OF KULIN CHRISTMAS PROJECT

Would you like your child to receive a letter from Santa? The Lions Club of Kulin have a fantastic Christ-mas project happening this year providing the children of Kulin the opportunity to write a letter or draw/colour a picture to send to Santa and receive a response before Christmas.

Kindergarten and Pre primary students will be receiving their letters via the school.

The Lions can be contacted directly using the details below; or you can hand deliver your child's letter to their cake stall at Late Night Shopping on the 20th

For more information please contact Pam McInnes—9880 1215

Address letters to:

Father Christmas

Box 123 Kulin

HARVEST FACT: Kulin bin has received 125,978 tonnes so far.

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KDHS Presentation Night

Burger Order Form

The FRAC will be cooking chicken burgers on Wednesday the 18th of December – after the KDHS presenta-

tion night.($6 ea) Anyone wishing to purchase a chicken burger for dinner, please fill in the form below

and return it to Jane at the Rec Centre no later than 4:30pm on Friday the 13th of December.

Name: ________________________________________

Contact Number ________________________________

Number of Burgers: _________

Cost: $_________

Note:

Burgers are $6 ea (CASH ONLY)

Payment can be made on the night when you collect your burger

Family orders are accepted

NO LATE ORDERS WILL BE ACCEPTED SO PLEASE RETURN YOUR FORMS

ASAP.

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12th Tamara Davis 13th Eli McAdam Glenda Ricks 17th Zac Argent

Shire of Kulin Council Meeting

DATE CHANGED

Meeting for December will be held

Thursday the 19th of December

At 1pm

Kulin Child Care Centre will be open to Tuesday 24th December 2013. We will then close and re-

open Monday 13th January 2014.

Please note some important items:

Monday 23rd and Tuesday 24th will have limited places available so please confirm with Tanya

your requirements ASAP (thanks to those who have already confirmed their care requirements)

Tuesday 24th - we will close the centre at 3.00pm on Christmas Eve. Please ensure that your

children are picked up from the Centre by this time.

2014 Bookings

We are very interested in hearing from you if you will require childcare in 2014. this will great-

ly assist us with our staffing plans. Feel free to contact Tanya on 9880 1636 or email

kulinccc@westnet.com.au.

For Sale

Rural House On 8 Acres 1 kilometre out of Kulin $325,000 Negotiable

29 Truebody Street Kulin

For Sale By Owner. For more information please contact :

Bob 0429 400 997

Helen 0488 985 640

Or go to www.noagentproperty.com.au

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**ORDERS WELCOME**

Come in and try our range of

sauces and marinades. Bulk

packs available.

Opening Times

Monday to Friday

8am-5pm

Email kulingourmetmeats@gmail.com

TRISH’S OUTBACK

STYLES

Open every Tuesday and Wednesdays as re-

quired. All aspects of ladies and men's hair-

dressing, Johnston Street, Kulin. 0429653006,

ah: 98653031. Call Trish for appointments.

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Proposed Road Closure

Portion of Williams Kondinin Road No 6321

Notice is hereby given, pursuant to the provisions of the Land Administration Act 19997and

Land Administration Regulations 1998, that the Kulin Shire Council is considering requesting

the Minister of Lands to permanently close a portion of the Williams Kondinin Road reserve

located in the Kulin townsite and bounded by Jilakin St to the south, Kulin lot 170 to the

north, the railway reserve to the west and the CBH storage bins to the east.

The purpose of the proposed road closure is to enable CBH to liaise further with the Depart-

ment of Lands to progress the formalities in relation to acquisition of the land.

Prior to seeking Ministerial consent for the abovementioned proposal Council invites public

submissions regarding its general acceptability and suitability. A copy of the plans illustrating

the proposal are available for inspection at the shires Administration Office, 24 Johnston St,

Kulin, during office hours.

Any person who wishes to comment on the above may do so in writing to the Chief Executive

Officer, Shire of Kulin, Po Box 125, Kulin WA 6365 by no later than Friday 31st January 2014.

Dated 26 November 2013 Greg Hadlow Chief Executive Officer Shire of Kulin

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Coffee Mugs

Glass Mugs

Aluminium Water Bottles

iPhone cases

Magnets

Key rings

Calenders

Stubbie holders

Bookmarks

Bag holders

Placemats/coasters

T-Shirts

Wine Cooler Bags

We make

Kulin Community Resource Centre: Business Hours: Mon to Fri 9.00am - 4.30pm

Phone: 08 9880 1021 Email: rcmgr@kulin.wa.gov.au

Giddy Up to the Narrogin Races Saturday 21 December 2013

$100 per Ticket ALL INCLUSIVE! Bus leaves Kulin at 10am and will pick up in Jitarning

Further information please contact Anthony Dearlove 9889 8113 or Nicole Thompson 0428 890012

Payment to the Nicole at the Shire by Mon 16th December

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CHRISTMAS PARTY

Kulin Emergency Services are having their Christ-

mas party on Sunday the 22nd at 3pm. All mem-

bers and their families of Fire and Rescue, Bush

Fire Brigade, Ambulance, SES and Police are invited

to attend at the emergency centre

Please RSVP to Deirdre

0429801151

deirdre_caroll@hotmail.com

By the 15th of December for catering numbers

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BUSINESS DIRECTORY LISTING

Fill in your Business Listing details below and return with payment to

KULIN COMMUNITY RESOURCE CENTRE

PO BOX 125 KULIN WA 6365

Business listings will be placed alphabetically in the Business Directory

of the Kulin Phone Book.

EXAMPLE OF BUSINESS DIRECTORY LISITING

Kulin Community Resource Centre………………………….9880 1021

32 Johnston Street Fax 9880 1061

E– resourcecentre@kulin.wa.gov.au w– www.kulin.wa.gov.au

Community information services—Training-Room Hire-Photocopying

BUSINESS NAME:

BUSINESS ADVERTISING

RATES: Business Listing $10.00

Half Page Advert + Business Listing $50.00

Full Page Advert + Business Listing $100.00

YES, I HAVE ENCLOSED MY PAYMENT FOR: $10 $50 $100

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Kulin Anglican Church Notes

Service Times Christmas Worship will be celebrated at Kulin on Sunday 22nd December, 8.30 am with Father Brian Newing lead-ing the service. No services will be held in the Parish during January, but come February we are in full swing once more with an 8.30am service at Kulin each 2nd and 4th Sunday of the month. Everyone is welcome – just turn up. Grain Appeal Would you consider making a donation of grain to the Parish? Father Brian Newing has sent a letter to all members of the Parish suggesting a thanksgiving offering of grain to help maintain viable congregations and provide mean-ingful pastoral care for people within the region. Donations of grain during the good seasons help support the community during the not so good times. Kulin Anglican Church details to donate grain are as follows ; Name of the account – Kulin Anglican Church Committee. CBH Grower Number – 5068009. To donate grain via Loadnet online - , once logged in, select transactions, then load donation, click on Charity for the pull down list and find Kulin Anglican Church Committee. Load/tonnes are then selected and donated.

KULIN HEALTH CENTRE

CLINIC TIMES 9am—11am

MONDAY Clinic *Pathology

TUESDAY Clinic * DOCTOR 9:00—3.45 (Lunch 12:30—1:30) *Doctor may leave early if no appoint-

ments

WEDNESDAY Clinic *Pathology

THURSDAY Clinic

FRIDAY DOCTOR 9:00—1:45

*Pathology services (blood tests) are only available Monday and Wednesday.

Please attend Kondinin Hospital PH. 98941222 outside of these times.

DIAL 000 for emergencies

CHILD HEALTH CLINIC

Held every alternate Wednesday

Phone : 98801056—for appointments

New Hyden Medical Centre Contact Number 0456 875 495 Please DO NOT leave a message as this

Entertaining family and friends at home this festive season? Get rid of spiders and unwanted pests from your outdoor areas, phone Craig on 0429801152.

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Kulin Tennis Club

President – Cassie Stone

Secretary – Gabrielle Savage

Treasurer – Rachel Argent

Captains – Michelle Stone, Helen King & Taryn Scadding

Well done to all Kulin Junior Tennis club members that played in Hyden and Narrogin over the weekend. We had numerous winners in both tournaments from Kulin. Congratulations! Numbers are still good for social tennis, but to add confusion to the mix we are having social Tennis on Saturday this week at 3pm,

followed by the Kulin Community Christmas Party. So come on down for a hit at the Kulin Tennis courts, followed by the Kulin Christmas Party

Subs are now due, Family $80, seniors $30, Junior 13y &up $15, Juniors 7-12yrs $10.

Ball fees, $2/player (members) and $5/ player as non member.

*Lake Grace have a Junior Tennis Tournament this weekend on Saturday – Goodluck to all Juniors going over to play in Lake Grace!

Michelle is still looking for players interested in playing in our zones minor pennant competition in February 2014. Get your name to her.

Hope to see you all at Social tennis this Saturday in Kulin at 3pm

James Ellis and Reece Scadding Sam Ellis and Carlinea Savage

Runners up under 10 Doubles Champions Under 10 Mixed Doubles

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DUDININ TENNIS NOTES

Sun 8 December

Our rescheduled doubles tournament turned out to be reasonably successful with 8 women and 4 men. With inconsiderate rain at the end of the week, Sunday was the day to get harvesting again, so that threw a spanner in the works for our tennis.

Nevertheless it was still a great day with some fun tennis. Well done to the winners Debbie and Tiffany being undefeated in the women’s. The men with only 2 teams, decided to play the best of three. With the score at one all the men came in for a break and then the deciding set went down to a tiebreaker and Clinton and DK were the winners over Wayne and Grantly. Sounds like it was pretty evenly matched, so some good tennis was had. Thanks to Helen for organising our tennis tea and for everyone who bought in the salads. It was a very nice meal.

This coming Sunday is Social tennis and here comes summer with the forecast being 41!

Have you RSVP’d for the Dudinin Xmas Tree yet?? Best you do so, or it will be ham sandwiches and no Santa for you...!

Upcoming fortnight.....

Sunday 15 Dec Social Tennis – Roster Harry Mullan

Sunday 22 Dec Social Tennis and !!DUDININ XMAS TREE!! – Roster Clinton Mullan and Wes Astbury

Handmade for you & your

Grubs

Christmas Presents, stocking stuffers & lots

of yummy delights available at the upcom-

ing Christmas Market Night, Fri 20th Dec.

*Hair Accessories *iSpy Bags

*Headbands galore *Fridge Magnets

*Baby presents *Jewellery

* lots of Yummy Christmas treats, including

Lemon Butter, Pecan Pie, GF Choc Almond

Cake, Caramelised Garlic Paste, Fig &

Pear Paste, Sundried Tomato & Cashew

Dip….

Come along for a great night out, you never

THANK YOU Bliss Beauty will be closing on the Friday 20th Decem-

ber- And won’t be reopening unfortunately..

Thank you to everyone who has supported me over the last 3 years.

I have had a wonderful time getting to know everyone in town but a new adventure awaits me.

Thank you and have a very Merry Christmas and New Year.

CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR

RUBBISH COLLECTION

Please note there are no changes to the

Kulin rubbish collection schedule over

the holiday period.

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Bronze Medallion Course

Bronze Medallion

Friday 20th

December – Sunday 22nd

December

9am – 3pm daily

Cost: Total $35 Payable on first day to Rachel or Elana.

$17.50 Royal Life Saving for formal certification.

$17.50 Donation to Kulin Sub centre for use of resuscitation equipment.

Bronze Medallion Requalification

Sunday 22nd

December

1pm – 3pm

Cost: Total $25 Payable on 22nd

December

$15 Royal Life Saving for formal certification

$10 Donation to Kulin Sub centre for use of the resuscitation equipment.

If any one is interested in completing their Bronze Medallion or to Requalify Bronze Medallion.

Numbers will be limited.

Please contact Rachel Argent 0428898042 or Elana Frantom 0428890078

Rachel.argent@education.wa.edu.au

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Kulin Kondinin Football Club require a

LEAGUE AND A’RESERVES COACH For the 2014 EDFL season.

Applicants need to apply in writing stating

experience and remuneration to:

The Secretary

K.K.F.C.

PO Box 30 Kondinin WA 6367

Applications close December 3rd

Email; kkfcblues@hotmail.com

Ballard Cleaning Pasture Seed and Canola Specialists

North Road Tincurrin Ring Neil 9883 2005 or 0428 832 053

Canola cleaning and seed treatments Gravity grading, the only way to get the best quality

seed for sowing Bags, bulka bags or bulk

Pasture seed, all species and varieties Serradella de-hulling specialists

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December

12th Ballroom Dancing 7pm @ Kulin Memorial Hall

13th Physio and Podiatry (Kulin Medical Centre)

14th Community Christmas Tree

10-12am Christmas & Kids Craft

15th Uniting Church Service 11am

Dudinin Social Tennis

16th 'Twilight Christmas Carols'

18th KDHS Presentation Night

19th Shire of Kulin Council Meeting 1pm

20th Kulin Christmas Festivities & Extended Trading

21st Narrogin Races

20th-22nd Bronze Medallion Course

22nd Anglican Church Christmas Eucharist 8:30am

Dudinin Christmas Tree

If you would like your event or meeting to be added to the Kulin Kalender please contact Kulin Community Resource Centre: Business Hours: Mon to Fri 9.00am - 4.30pm

Phone: 08 9880 1021 Fax : 08 9880 1061 Email: rcmgr@kulin.wa.gov.au

CHRISTMAS JOKES

A group of mountain climbers once heard Father Christmas go past. They must have had sharp ears! They were mountain-ears!

An honest politician, a kind lawyer and Santa Claus were walking down the street and saw a $20 bill. Which one picked it up? Santa! The other two don't exist!

Father Christmas' sledge broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, 'Can you help me fix my sledge?' 'Sorry,' the motorist replied. 'I'm not a mechanic - I am a Podiatrist.' 'Well, can you give me a toe?'

How do we know Santa is such a good race car driver? Because he's always in the pole position!

How many chimneys does Santa go down? Stacks!

I remember when Father Christmas first passed his sleigh-driving test. He came skidding down in front of the toy factory.' Have you passed?' I asked. Father Christmas pointed proudly to the front of the sleigh. 'See for yourself!' he called proudly. 'No-el plates!'