kathmandu- happy new year 2011, [email protected]. 9654184088

8/7/2019 kathmandu- happy new year 2011, [email protected]. 9654184088

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RAJ ARYAN GUPTA, DELHI9654184088

KATHMANDU-HAPPY NEW YEAR:2011There is nothing which could let me compelled to recall it, I dont like this country and this place. i dont want to come here again. If it happens, I will come t

o u. but. I pray, you wont be here.

(1st jan 2011, 11:30 PM,THEMAL, KATHMANDU)Hurreyyyyyyyyyyy.. Dont be confused friends; this is not a jaunt(happiness) of New Year. Its root came from my end of exam of 2nd tri semester. I got 12 days as a holiday after 7 x 2 classes. Again, you are in a dilemma. Its not 7 hour, 2 days ina week. Its 7 days and 2 months. Wowwwww. after these 2 months I was free for 12 days and think when Christmas and new year are in the lap of these holidays. Howmuch it will be jocular, cannot define. But what can an emancipated slave (socially free man) do? I thought let plan for a trip. Then my two buffer friends alsosupported me and we planned for 28 December. I was very happy that is why I did

not celebrate Christmas, simply took rest, and dreamt for 15 continuous hours.15 hour? This is a Burj(tallest building of the world) of obliviousness (forget). Did u forget? 7 days & 2months classes. After such a long frustrating time, I hope, i deserved this break. However, this darling was no long lasting. Both duffers refused to go. As I have already mentioned that both were buffer. It was useless to convoke them, but I tried a result less effort. This situation was likeresuscitate. I came to reality. Then I decided to go alone. Nothing was strangeto me because I used to of this. Many times, I had gone alone. Yes, there was cold but there was also an excitement that I was going to foreign. Moreover, in this excitement I reserved a railway ticket, which was of 60th in waiting lists in27 December. My journey started from one of relatives house at 8:00pm 28 December. But as I reached to the railway station, I came to know again the identity ofIndian railway. Train was 8 hours late, in this way the identity of Indian rail

way declared beneficiary for myself. Lot of reservations had been cancelled andI got RAC. I never thought to return. I waited, in this way I started my journeyat 4:00am 29th December. This winter and Indian railway, both were suborning byheart to make me pleased. My RAC partner also did not come and I did my journeyin Shaheed express, coach no-6 seat no 39. However, that freedom fighter trainarrived at Gorakhpur at 10:00pm 29 December in spite of 12pm. I was happy because at least I was in Gorakhpur in 29 December. When I arrived there then I came to know that the border closed at 7:00 pm. That is why I was compelled to stay there. I spend that night in a hotel. I woke up in the late morning, late morning?Yes, because that freedom fighter train wounded me so much. That is why I tooktime in recovering. Now I had to move to the border, bus was the means of transport. But this bus was sister of Shaheed express train. It took 4 hour for journe

y, but 2:30 hour was justifiable for that journey and I arrived at border at 3:00pm in 30 December. One another shock was ready to surprise me, there I came toknow that every bus, which start their journey between 3:00pm to 6:30 pm, arrivein Kathmandu at 5:00am. If I could reach in border before 11:00 am then Kathmandu could welcomed me today but for one another day, I had to wait. Therefore, Kathmandu was one day away. Despite of waiting I did not have any option, so I did. Due to night, it was very difficult to see outside view it was so dark. We took dinner in a DHABA at 11:30pm. There was expectation of Indian kind of DHABA; it looked like Indian DHABA in construction wise. But food was extremely bad. Cost? Its only 250NC, yes it is rate of DHABA. I came to know, there is no internalproduction of Nepal. There is no industry or factory in Nepal. This is strange,isnt it? But I was not interested to put effort in economics. In between journey,bus was taking break many times. I came to know that there is some security pro

blem that is why these buses reached at 5:30 am. In this way, we reached Kathmandu in the early morning at 5:30am. It was dark so it was difficult to tell anything about Kathmandu. There were lot of questions in mind but suddenly my eyes st


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opped on three Indian brothers, so I pulled together. One of them said, I m fearing. Anyone can rob, but all of you are with me. So my fear is reducing. After all, we are always follower of mentality that if we are losing something, then others also should do. Nevertheless, I did never understand this. If you have fear of dark then it is ok. Otherwise, you fear because you are alone. Suddenly a taxistopped in front of us, and became Pushpak(a plane used in Ramayana) for us inthat isolated place. But we couldnt enjoy ours Pushpaks ride And we did land withi

n 5 min in Themal, the heart of the city. However, we paid a heavy amount of that ride, its only 250NC. Then we started searching for perch and found very difficult because those perch were ready to give us shelter but were requiring a heavy amount 800NC- 1200NC. But I had listened that Nepal is a cheaper country and things are affordable. But since from the morning, budget faltered.We did take rest there and I woke up in the morning 11:00am 31 December. I utterly forgot that today was 31st New Year. Therefore, I did make a plan to rambleand requested hotel manager to let help us. He did, and then we were moved to rove at 12:00pm. In that trip we visited 5 places- Pashupati nath temple;the mostattractive place for tourist, Swaymbhu Nath, Darbar Chowk, Bodh Stup, National historical museum, which was nearby Pashupati nath temple. Whatever I saw was unable to entice me. Why? I already visited such places in India. So it was so so..

We regressed to our hotel at 6:00pm. What had we to do? But whole night was remained left. I had all options for which Kathmandu could call youngsters. So we had to ripe. Of course, we were tired because of days trip and our faces were contorted by dust, so there was need to furnish it. When I was ready, I started to visit lanes of Themal and then came to know that today there would be a celebration of New Year on these lanes. This is great, isnt it? All those suffer which I had faced during travelling were descending. There were lots of eye tonic in thoselanes. Market was looking like decorated bridal. Suddenly noise of Hindi song fell on my ears, when I paid attention, I found, they were coming from a bar. Nono., those were coming from several bars. My heart was going little capricious. Idid not get such soagy (unfortunately) until date. I thought, Why dont I cash thisopportunity? Who is watching, what am I doing? I found a way of my nearby bar, andentered as I was entering in a red alert area. Soon I came to know, this is a c

ulture of Kathmandu and there is no need to be jitter. So now, I was mentally free, only one thing I had to cash, which was enjoyment.Inside the barWhen I seat inside the bar, one Nepali girl came to me and requested for order.Bye the way I want to tell you that I am a light drinker and do prefer beer. Therefore, I ordered a beer- san Miguel, a popular native beer. I was aware of this, because before going Nepal I searched for Nepal, in which professor Google helped me. That is why I ordered a san Miguel beer, costing 550 NC but outside thesame was available at 150NC. I came to know this but later. What could you aspect when you have a beer and bar dancers are performing in very front of you. However, it could be more entertaining if any of them would also with you. I was thinking the same suddenly bar manager came to me and asked or informed( I dont know) me that I was alone. I responded him in funny manner if you would like I mightbe in pair. However, he responded me positively and asked me to wait. During that waiting time many thoughts were dancing in the mind, you will also be sure those cannot be saints thought. Within 1 or 2 minutes, a girl came to me and seatjust beside me. Eyes were small but not like Nepali, colour was bright, height was approx 5 feet 3 inch, but hers hair were long but were side parting which waselongating hers beauty. Lips were red, might be she will not be smoker like me.She wore blue jeans and black colour full, designing top. If I talk about her figure, it was perfect but cannot tell you exact measurement. She did light makeup which was describing her as a pretty girl in a party.What is your name? I did not ask it. She asked me. As I am a student of management, in a study of selling to own self, I came to learn little bit. So I asked her, do you watch Bollywood movies? She replied yes, who is your favorite actor?I aske

d again. She said SRK. Fortunately, he is also my favorite actor. Then it becameeasy to sold my name, I said; my name is the same, by which SRK is named in mostof his films. But I failed to sell. She was unable to take clue; she failed to g


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et my name. it was like same that you are selling Kohinoor diamond in the priceof glass but customer is not willing to pay a single penny. The same happened with me. Now I did verbal reception of my name, but in a reception bride got giftsand I did order a glass of juice for her, costing only 450NC, which was most expensive juice of my life. I also asked her name, but it was very clear whatevershe would tell, would be wrong. My name is Priya, she replied. I asked surprisedly, an Indian name? Then she replied what is wrong in that. I also spoke Hindi. Y

es of course but you look like Nepali I said. Then she replied my dear friend we Nepali watch Bollywood movies more than Nepali movies. Till that time I had put lot of effort to utilize the cost of that juice. But I failed all the time because this work was against of my nature. She also didnt give me any kind of hint. Soboth of us were only sipping ours drinks calmly. During a friendly conversationI came to know that his father was in Nepal force but is now handicapped, she has a sister of age 9 year named Sneha and a brother of age 12. And she, Preti isof 21 year. Preti? Yes, her real name is Preti. During conversation, I could watch innocence in her face. But she was trying to show herself as a best sales girl. In the starting, hers word were giving feeling of a best sales girl, but slowly slowly Her words were conflicting with hers facial expressions and were changing their notions. They were giving a warm feeling but it took 3 hour for this

change. Dont think much, you would tell, he tells him a light drinker but drinkingfor 3 hour it is not true still I was consuming my first ordered beer, it was not finished. I was not unconscious at all, but of course, I was enjoying conversation with her. That is why I did not think to go or leave her. Even she was alsoenjoying juice, I asked, you are sipping it not drinking, why? she replied, if Iwill finish it, bar manager will asked me for another juice and your bill will rise. That feel was very sweet and warm. A bar girl was trying to decrease her barsrevenue and I got to know that she is very poor/bad sales girl. I took a decision that if she would come in my company for job, I will not appoint her. It wasmy professional decision for her. But my friend and all those who know me will be laughing. They know, I cant hold burden of professionalism for long time and I consider that every one belongs to me and I belongs to everyone. So now, I could not carry a professional relation with her but could retain an emotional relation

. However, the profession she belongs I could not accept and she could not enterin that life which belongs to me because this society had closed doors for her.So only relation, that I could make between us was an emotional relation, a relation of feeling, a relation of sorrow, relation of joy. Now she was winning myfaith, I believed her. Then I took initial step to make a relation, and proposedher for friendship. She accepted the proposal. Now I won some right over her asI was hers friend. Keeping this in mind, I asked several personal questions toher. But answers of those were pulling me to her emotionally. She told her father that she was doing a job in hotel as a receptionist. She got 6000NC plus incentive. Incentive? Yes incentive, whenever any customer pleased from their performance, they gave them some money. Their chance comes in a periodic order, so in between conversation Preti also left me lot of time to perform her dance. But after every performance she came to me within 5 min and seat beside me. Now her glass was empty and beer was disappeared from my bottle. However, I was willing totalk with her. I wanted to spend more time with her, so I looked in my pocket and ordered another beer. It was a sufficient indication to her why I looked in the pocked. Then she asked, When you are in short of money, why dont you go? I did not answer but I knew the answer that why I was there. I always wish, all those persons who are around me should be happy. I would consider my achievement, if I become a mean who can bring smile for them. I was happier than she was, when I was watching smile on her face. I could see how much she was in joy and this was only the reason I stayed there. Conversation was going on; both of us came to know to each other more deeply. I was compelled by hers words to see her; even my eyes were not blinking. During deeper conversation with her, I came to know thatshe had also feelings of a simple girl. Who dreamt for her future, life partner.

She did not want to be very special for all. She wanted to emerge in all. To bespecial doesnt mean to become different from others, she considered, to be special mean getting love of yours. Then she said, raj, I do not want to do make up for


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all. I want this only for one. There should be only one who can commit right onmy beauty. I do not want praise from all, there should be only one. My life should start from that one and should ends on that one. To whom I can commit my rights and who can do the same on me. With whom I can feel safe. I would forget my pain when I will hold his hands. I will not wish to die, because I wish to live with him not without him, because death will separate us. Such a person who can understand my heart without being delivered any word.

I know it is very impossible. I cannot find such a person, even not that who cangive me a respect full name. Not all these hers emotions were delivered at a glance. During boiling of hersemotions, they were bubbling and coming out. But I could see how much she was dreamy, thats why some tears were also in my eyes. Now I could realize how our society was raping of ones emotions and feelings. I think it is the rule of ours society that when I want to take enjoyment you will be in pain. I came to know oursenjoyment can be the reason of someones pain, may be deeper. I didnt think it before..Now my second beer was about to over and there were 10 min left for 12:00, butsuddenly bar manager came to us and by indicating towards a group of boys, he told to Preti, they are calling you. My beer had finished and I did not have much m

oney at that moment so I found to be silent would be beneficial. What could I do? Preti asked for 5 min to manager, in this way in the very first second of 2011, Preti was with me. i wished her and she also did. I was not willing to move out but I had to. There was nothing called interesting for me but there was one ofmy friends, with whom I could carry friendship only for 1 day or perhaps 5 hours. That is why I was feeling sad but she asked me to wait I informed her that Ihad not much money, I could not spent more. Then she told me, who is calling youto spend? Just wait I want more talk with you. She added, if you are feeling boredthen I wont stop you. Now you tell me, what did I do? Of course, I did wait, if Idid not wait there how this story could forward. But this time I did change myposition and seat in the a corner to made a distance from others. I had some cigarettes so I started to smoke. My eyes were not at the dancing stage, actually Iwas watching Preti performance within those boys. She also looked at me in betw

een. But my eyes were not accepting what was happening. Some boys of the same group were trying to touch her private parts and Preti was trying to please them but was also struggling to move their hands. But both were failed in their effort. At that moment, I felt that she was being raped in each moment. I wish if shewas raped only once. There could be a possibility that a decent guy, who could give her a respected name, could approach her. However, such kind of rape could not be accepted by me even this society would also not accept her. But we cant imagine her pain, but I can make an effort to realize you. Suppose you are straight, but due to fill you and yours family, you have to become a means of someones entertainment. You have to do sex with the same gender. But you are not dominatingat all. Now just think how much it is painful. You are using your body only because you have to fill your family. Such a picture of society is really painful.I think Preti would have forgotten sensation in the body. We, boys always wish to such a life partner who would be shy. We imagine that when we touch her, therewould be a trembling in hers body. This show that how much she would be pure. but I think perhaps even cold wouldnt disturb her, summers would only reduce her income. As in summer, days are long and bars starts in nights. She is fighting for hers soul only or., I dont know. There are many questions but I dont have answer ofany of them. I was thinking the same suddenly ours eyes matched. She could seemy fiery eyes and I could see a request in her eyes, a request that please raj turn your eyes. Hers eyes were able to deliver message. Through hers eyes, she wanted to request, Raj if u wont turn your eyes I will not be able to do my work. I changed direction keeping a drop in my eyes and ordered another beer, this was mythird beer. I was total in sense in spite of consuming those two beer. She watched all this, came to me in anger, and asked, Why are you trying to be like them

, she pulled my collor and asked me to go. Then I tried to convince her, I defended myself saying, You are the one who requested me to stay here and now you are cursing me to go. She told me I asked you to wait because I was wanted to talk to


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you not for ordering another beer. At that moment, many feelings were so strange. It was feeling like warm and affinity to me. This was increasing my attachment with her. Then I tried to make her calm. She became cooled and then she made me realize that how am i? She told me, When any boy touch to a girl then girl comes to know by which feeling he is infected. However, whenever you touched me it never gave me a wrong sense. You never tried to touch me with the erotic feeling.In this moment, I felt proud as well as shame. Shame, because I was also there w

ith the same feeling, through which those boys were infected, which could debaseme in my soul. In addition, proud because after all I did not do anything wrong. Of course, end does matter, in this era it does not mean how much your thoughtis dirty but if you are not doing wrong then you are the RAM of this Kaliyug.Now our conversation base was deviated to more personal. Even I offered her to come India but Not for picnic. This offer was to request her to come to India andstay here. Sorry friends, I am aware of the population of my country and know we cannot bear such a kind of arrivals. But friends we always hug them who was inours door steps, we helped them, even we shared ours bread and this kind of actcan only be done by an Indian. Now I assured her that she would get a respectedjob in India. But she showed hers helplessness, she told me that she lived withhers father, sister, and brother. She was the only earning person of the family

. She added, How could I be so selfish. My father gave me life at that time I wasnothing and now when he is helpless how could I leave him. How could I forget my responsibility? I did not have any question after this answer. It was around 12:45 am, now there was her turn to perform. She told me that this performance would be only for hers friend; even she would also choose a song for me. Song was aye ho meri jindagi me .. of movie raja Hindustani, casted by Aamir khan. During performance, she also pointed me many time. All could see that, Including bar manager, other customers, and other dancers. However, I did see only a request in her song, in her wish. I found how much she was happy with me. It was enough for me that I was the reason of someones happiness. She finished her performance and shereturned to me. We again immersed in ours emotional sea. We did not notice it was 1:30 am, 1st Jan 2011, a closing time of the bar. I guessed that this meetingas ours last meeting but suddenly she asked me for my picture and mobile number.

I took help of my blue teeth to transfer the picture and then I told her my mobile number, including my hotels number. Because there was roaming which costing only 55Rs for incoming. Considered this meeting as last meeting, I was somewheresad, but I can also read her emotions. But both of us didnt have to spoke and wedidnt have time to see. Therefore, I came out with wet eyes.When I came outside, I came to know that there was raining since 10:00pm 31st December 2010. That is why celebration program did not happen. However, at that time some boys and foreigners were walking over there. For me, New Year was over.I found a good friend and also lost her in the 1st day of year, that is why I was sad and reached to hotel. When I entered in the hotel, a boy told me that a girl named Preti called me. I called to Preti from the same place. Ohhhhhhhh dont be angry, I forgot to tell you that I also beg hers picture and hers mobile number. Preti picked the phone, said that she called me to say good night. and she said the same, I also responded like a gentle man. She stretched the conversation,asked me if I was free tomorrow, and could meet her at 2:00PM. I was pleased because I got a day to live this strange friendship. I said yes. Then we greet toeach other and cut the call. I slept but after a long thought process regardingthe entire day.Next day 1st Jan 2011, I woke up at 12:00 pm and waiting for 2:00pm. I had enough time so I decided to ramble the market. But what is this? A jacket without brand logo costs 3500NC, which could be available for maximum 500Rs in Delhi. As Iwas rambling the market more and more, I came to know there is no meaning of shopping to me. Reason was simple, whatever they were selling, was available in India in lower cost. Therefore, it would foolish activity if I carried all that then I looked like an animal washing accessories. Therefore, I decided only to ramb

le not purchasing. I am not saying market was poor, it was good. There was alsovariety, but it seemed to be expensive to me. In that time I remembered my economics teacher Raj Kishan. Thanks Raj to teach me economics and made me comfortabl


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e to understand that, why Nepal is struggling for its survival. Why does its native leave it? Exchange rate is 1Rs = 1.6NC. So Their currency is devalued but they have high inflation rate, which is not good for the country. Average income lies around 5000NC to 8000NC, which dont justify to such a high inflation rate andcurrency value. I saw my watch it was 1:30pm so I planned to go to the destination where Preti was coming to meet me. I waited for her for 1 hour but she didntcome then I made a call to her but there was no response. In this way after wait

ing 2:30 hour and 5 to 6 calls, I returned to hotel in anger. i was thinking I should not behave like this, after all she was bar dancer, how could she leave hers identity? I was feeling like dupe not in terms of money but for emotions, which I dissolved with hers in last night.I returned to the bar at 7:00pm but bar was not on fire. Their dancers were still coming. Some of them recognized me but didnt say any word to me but they were grazing me. I seat in the corner silently and started to wait my friend? (or bardancer) 45 min went on, I didnt find her neither in dance floor nor on any table.Between this time many other girl tried to take order from me including bar manager but I directly asked for Preti to a girl. She called Preti, Preti came to me carrying some smile on her face and said sorry very casually. She told me thatlast night she reached home very late and she had work in home that is why she

could not come to meet me. I gave her an angry mans expression, ordered her to come in a proper bars dress, and took a beer for me. I told her, See your customer is came back. Let pleased him. She was trying to debase my anger through hers smile but I controlled on myself. Then she told me that she had to go to perform andshe would come back after hers performance. During hers performance I ordered abeer. In the starting of hers performance I was silent and watching hers dance.Then I stood up took out some money from my pocket and moved towards dance floor she noticed all that. As I was about to approached to her, she did not finishhers performance and went back. I returned to my table. She came back on my table and seat on the sofa. I pretending more in anger and spoke lot which could hurt her. I said her, You are a good sales girl; you know how to attract and bound to customers. After all, I also become your customer. I also said it was very expensive appointment for me with her. As I spoke out, she dropped some tears. Then

she started to tell me more about her, she told me that there was a guy named raj, who pretended that he loved her and once they were riding in night. Police arrested them where she came to know that raj was married. This happened when shewas new in this profession. She was afraid that she could become weak if she would meet me. That is why she did not come. She added, I found you very distinctive. Whatever you talked to me, i never experienced the same. I learned lot of thing from you. I got power from those that I can come out from this situation. My real prince can come. My thought made her realize that she is also human being, she has also right to live, she has also right to dreamed, and she could be for someone. When she was talking this, she was holding my hand. I was also giving hera moral support as a friend. But I was feeling so sad but failed to say anything. Then again, I asked her the reason why she did not come. She did not answer and changed the topic. At that moment, I was so confused. I was getting as well as failed to get that. However, I found, it would be better to be silent.We were chatting and I was trying to console her. During conversation, we were trying to short the distance between us. I was not trying much, reason was simple, if I did that it looked very odd. On one side I was hers friend and on the other side was i trying to satisfy my physical satisfaction? In addition, I found better to be her friend not customer. After all humanity was, remains left with me. Both of us were enjoying those moments. Neither she felt alone nor me. Both of us were with their good friend to whom they can trust. She was trying to reduce my sorrows and I was doing the same. All those enjoyment, which I could get from her physically, was seemed to be atom (least particle in size of any subjector object) in comparison of what I got from hers -during conversation and exchange of emotions. I will remember these 2 days in my whole life. That bar dancer o

hh sorry my friend Preti will always live in my memory.It was 10:30, when a boy pointed to Preti. Of course, that signal was to call her. But Preti neglected that. In this way respect of an animal was hurt and he we


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nt to the manager to complain. I could see all that but Preti was still unawareof this. She was enjoying my company. Her total attention was on me. Then that boy came to us with a Nepali bouncer. They were coming from backside of Preti. Icould guess what could happen so I prepared myself physically and mentally. Butthat drunken boy did such messy act which I couldnt forgive. he pressed hers chest from behind. Immediately i came to in action to fulfill my duty as a friend, as a human being, I lifted my punch to hit him, but suddenly dhisshummmmmmmmmm th

is was not done by me. That dwarf Nepali hit me. Attack was light so I could notmuch hurt. However, Preti feared by all this. She started to shout and cry. Shewas trying to separate us and then manager came. Both parties were complainingbut I came to know now I would have to go. Preti did not want to go with him soshe made pretense that she had to go for dance. I also had to leave. But feet were not supporting, but I controlled myself. When I was leaving, I took a promisefrom Preti.I took promise that she would leave this job and will never think for this kindof job, she will search another job in which could get respect too. Moreover, ifshe would like to come to India, I will help her regarding study, job search orany kind of help, which can be fulfilled by a friend. However, if she would notcome then perhaps we will never meet again. I told her, There is nothing which c

ould let me compelled to recall it, I dont like this country and this place. i dont want to come here again. If it happens, I will come to u. but. I pray, you will not be hereShe promised me that she would leave this job within one month and when it wouldbe difficult for her to live in Nepal she would come India to beg help from hers friend. When she was saying all this, she had tears.In this way, we were again on the different poles. I came outside of the bar andreturned to hotel. I had to catch a bus for border in the morning 5:00 am. Shecalled me when I crossed the border and was in bus, which was destining to Gorakhpur. She asked me if I was well. I told her that I would reach to Delhi home city after 18 hours.I dont know what was she doing this time. What was she thinking? Perhaps she willbe thinking about hers new job or thinking about me.. I want that she would think

about her job, a respectful job. If she will get that then it would be priciestgift for me. I will pray, she will always be so strong so that she could fight from the society for herself, for hers soul, to save hers innocence. I can only wish how much I am helpless. I want to see her again in my life but in respectedsituation. I dont have strength see her again in the similar conditions and prayto god not to show me her in the same situation.After one monthWithin this one month, we did chat two times. First time she called me, second time I did. However, those calls were made within 10 days of that month. I did not want to make more calls. There were two reasons. First- calls rate is so high(12.5Rs per min). Second, I wanted to know what she did within this month regarding new job. I made a call to her on 3 Feb. I asked her about hers self. I alsoasked if she searched for new job. Did she get another job? Was she working in the same place? Hers reply was very terrible. She told me that she searched for new job and she got two offers, one in hotel and second in a boutique. In hotel, she was directly offered to manage in nights. In boutique, she could get only 2500NC. She lives in a rented house of cost 3000NC. Therefore, she could not opt the second option. and first option was worse than earlier option. When I asked her in anger that she did not try much then she asked me for help. But how could Ihelp her? I am feeling so guilty, why did I show dream to her? Its my fault, when I was unable to bring all those in reality, then I didnt have any right to made her dreamy. I should be professional. It was hers duty to dance to made us happy. I was also there to be happy. What does it mean if I had some erotic feeling, everyone does .But one another thought comes in. I accept that today era is wet by professional

ism but just think we spend only 8 to 10 hours in a day. i.e. one third of the day. Most probably we joined company or do involves in earning at the age of 25 and retired in the age of 60. So we earn for 35 year and hence we spend 12 years


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on an average of our life, which is approx one fifth of our life. We opt such abehavior in our entire life, which should be limited to only one fifth. We are influenced by this one fifth of the life but we have forgotten our four fifth part. we should think about that four fifth part. Where we could feel proud to be abest creature of the god. It is very easy to laugh on others. It is very easy to attack, very easy to shout, very easy to depress others and of course it is very common/easy/ professional to use others but adapting the else aspect is so di

fficult.I have 4 times more time than the professionals to do a good job. I cant lose myfour fifth of the life for one fifth. After all, I am good in math. It is veryeasy calculation for me. But I cannot understand why it is very difficult for others. and logically I am friend of Preti and respect her. I will be ready to help her if would be in India or If I would be able to do that in Nepal.( IF YOU LIKE THIS THEN PLZ RESPOND ME AT ME ID [email protected] OR ON MY MOB 9654184088)

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kathmandu- happy new year 2011, [email protected]. 9654184088