1 JK’EDIOTS— An internal newsletter of JKEDI

JK’EDIOTS Volume 1 Issue 6 August 15, 2014

JK’EDIOTS Development

Entrepreneurship

A Community Mobilization and Engagement (CMAE) fortnightly initiative

Innovation

M inds tossed, throats dry, lips parched, stomach growling

and above all the long hot afternoons is what Muslims

braved to gain the fruit of ‘season of goodness’, the

month of piety, patience, forgiveness and divine bless-

ings.

Ramadhan is over and will be marked by Eid-ul-Fitr when people

thank Almighty for the help and strength He gave them throughout

the month to practice self-control.

As Ramadhan just concludes (almost), Ediots, in their unique way,

bid farewell to this blessed month of the Islamic calendar with mixed

feelings. Of course, all of us missed many things during Ramadhan

especially food as there is nothing as wonderful as food. But the wait

is over and the hustle and bustle in JKEDI Cafeteria will be back soon

after Eid.

Non-vegetarian thaalis, chicken, mutton kebabs, dal, mixed vegeta-

bles, lassi will be served again by our very own canteen boy Nisar

Ahmad and others at the cafeteria.

Arbin Hassan talked to some of the Ediots about the things they

missed during Ramadhan and what they are looking up to post Eid.

After listening to many people around, it

was interesting to know that they can’t resist

the temptation to have a cup of the canteen

tea, which otherwise they keep cribbing

about.

Here are the quotable quotes Ediots think

they would be doing post Eid:

Our Chief Operating Officer Zamir Ahmed

Qadri has thought about a different resolve

and it seems he has decided to make us cry

post-Ramadhan. “My Eid resolve is to write

my farewell speech which I have been con-

templating for quite some time now.”

P.S. Bas kar. Ab

rulaawogay kya? Let’s have a cup

of tea at canteen.

“Geyser waali Chai”, “butter toast” and

“chicken barbeque” is what Mohsin

Abrar says he missed during Ramadhan.

“As the blessed month is coming to an end,

I will keep the spirit alive for the rest of the

year. The spirit of eating less.”

P.S. Mohsin, you have lost in inches as

well as in pounds. You are bound to keep

up the spirit. If you are really serious.

Gowhar Nazir of the IT department is

the one who cribs most about the canteen

food but Ramadhan has dawned the reality

on him about the significance of that cup of

tea during office hours. He says he cannot

wait to call the canteen guys for a cup of

hot brewing tea.

“Call 155 and wait for the tea served in bro-

ken cups and without saucers, whatever.

This Ramadhan, I have changed my food

habits, now I will be eating only light and

healthy food.”

P.S. It seems you have been in com-

pany of those eating healthy. Well done

Gowhar. But remember healthy and canteen food can’t go together.

Arsalan Khan of the IT department

is, as you all know, a melodramatic per-

sonality at JKEDI. He has his own script

for everything.

A deep sigh and a slap on his own fore-

head. “Phir se canteen ka Khana. Oh no!

God, I am sure your world has much better

things to offer us. Tell you frankly, I real-

ized it in in Ramadhan only how signifi-

cant canteen is in our lives.”

P.S. Arsi, don’t be so ungrateful, please.

You can heave that cold sigh only on the

days when Wajahat doesn’t get his home

cooked food

along. And in that case you are among the

first to rush to the canteen and gulp down

quickly whatever is placed in front of you.

Ishrat Nazir of the SFI is the most

soft spoken soul around. But when it comes

to that hot cup of tea she just cannot can-

not hide her emotions. She confesses she

has missed that cup of tea with her col-

leagues for which they never go dutch.

Instead they would leave it to a “lucky”

draw of chits to see who foots the bill.

“Shall keep up the tradition of taking

out chits to see who orders the tea.”

P.S. Nanhi si jaan, only tea won’t do! You need to take something

solid. Learn how to eat healthy from your colleague across the desk. (Continued on Page 2)

Eid and the Ediots

2 JK’EDIOTS— An internal newsletter of JKEDI

JK’EDIOTS Volume 1 Issue 6 August 15, 2014

Now we know who among us all are seen in

the canteen so frequently. Mueed Syed is

keeping up with his IT circle. He is also miss-

ing the canteen tea with his IT colleagues in

the canteen.

“I missed the morning evening tea with my

colleagues. But I know I will miss Ramadhan

and everything about it especially the congre-

gational prayers which will be fairly impossi-

ble to see after Eid.”

P.S. Syed, you know it better. If you want

the crowd to gather for the prayers, all you

need to do is snap the internet connectivity

during prayer time to humiliate our enemy

(satan)

Our HR head, Syed Firdous Bukhari,

realizes the bottom up reality. He knows it is

not going to be canteen food immediately after

Eid because Eid spillovers will last for several

days if not weeks.

“I am eagerly waiting for the canteen to re-

open. But for the first five to six days after Eid

(there will be) no chicken, no kebabs from

JKEDI canteen, all from the refrigerator at

home.”

P.S. If canteen suffices your tea thirst only,

that’s enough!

Amal Nusrat is a new Ediot but has al-

ready jelled in within the circle so strongly.

Juma juma aath din hue join kare but it

seems she has been around for ages. She is

the girl of action like her name.

“I am a big tea junky, so I should get a chance

to have tea with people around or roam out-

side to see who can accompany me to the

canteen. I will treat people.

P.S. Ahem ahem! Amal, this has gone on

record now. You just cannot escape. There is

no dearth of people wanting to have a free

cup of tea. And also don’t forget that CMAE

Central is around and we love tea. Amal

daraamad rehna

apney qowl o qarar par.

Faheem Malik may come of as a hard-

working guy whose only worship is to work.

But when it comes to JKEDIOTS poly-

graph test, he was among the first to spill the

beans on where he spends office hours. No

surprises for CMAE Central here.

“The quick way to relax is to have a cup of

tea, so I will punch and rush to hostel can-

teen whenever I feel like resting and taking

off from the routine.”

P.S. Faheem canteen has shifted to the

other part of this world. Please keep an auto

-rickshaw fare with you if you want to travel there so frequently. You

are already limping with your torn up liga-

ment. We don’t want you to hurt yourself

more.

Aarif Nabi usually doesn’t shy away from

speaking his heart out, not only about him-

self but also about the Ediots who frequently

cross over to the joinery mill for a puff of

nicotine. He kept with the habit of speaking

the truth when he spoke with the JKEDIOTS.

“It will be fun again having tea with my col-

leagues and the feeling of boredom and

sleepiness will be over. People will be seen

crossing the highway frequently.”

P.S. Aarif keep away from those crossing the border line for that bad

habit. They won’t spare you now for revealing their deeply kept secret.

You may have to pay for it.

It seems 29 days of fasting where not

enough for Iftikhar Bashir. He is crav-

ing for more.

“Will keep fast for the six days of the

next month of Shawaal ul Mukarram. Phir

toh aate he chai order karenge and will

keep sipping. But only if all goes well with

canteen’s Nisar.”

P.S. Iftikhar! Don’t delay the order

even if delays occur in your assignment

deadlines. Why wait to arrive in office.

You can order your first cup of the day

from home and by the time you are in of-

fice, Nisar will serve you tea.

Shabeer Majeed of the BASS team is unarguably the most serious

person around at JKEDI. He has resolved

not to be late to the office (anymore) and

we know he is firm with his commitments

be it about punctuality with the office or

office tea,

“Ramadhan instills discipline into our

lives thus shaping our behavioral traits.

Post Eid I will be office on time, settle

down and call 155 for a cup of tea.”

P.S. Azmat is gone, now in whose name

will you order tea Shabeer?

Ambreen Altaf was recently trans-

ferred from

her district posting in Ganderbal to head-

quarters in Pampore and she is really ex-

cited about the canteen culture at JKEDI

and is eagerly waiting to spend time with

other Ediots in the cafeteria shifted to the

hostel complex.

“I am really excited to have my first

lunch at new canteen and experience the

change.”

P.S. Ambreen, there are lots of other

things that you will need to experience at

headquarters. Pampore is not about food

and gatherings only.

Saba Nazir is a known plain speaking

Ediot at JKEDI. She says she is not too fond

of tea but then she also sips a cup or two on

daily basis.

She is also aware of the fact that most of

the Ediots tirelessly speaking not in favour of

the canteen food and the quality of service

that the cafeteria management has instilled

there.

“Well despite so many complaints about

quality of tea served at canteen, most of the

Ediots are in love with it. Fairoze goes on re-

ceiving complaints and Mehraj keeps ignoring

them.”

Saba is right. The complaints may not be

off the mark but that doesn’t stop Ediots from gathering at the place and

come together in a show of unity.

Ediots, it’s time to bid adieu to Ramadhan and keep praying to have a

chance of experiencing another month of fasting next year. Have a great

Eid everyone and may Allah accept our prayers.

And by the way our pay day has been advanced by two days so that we

are able to meet our Eid expenses. Ediots it surely doesn’t mean we go on

a spending spree. Remember we have one full month and don’t let August

be harsh to you.

3 JK’EDIOTS— An internal newsletter of JKEDI

JK’EDIOTS Volume 1 Issue 6 August 15, 2014

I left the college principal’s chamber

along with my colleague and headed

towards the ‘smart classroom’ for an-

other Structured Awareness Pro-

gramme (SAP).

The hallway, of course lacking a red car-

pet, leading to the ‘smart classroom’ was too

long for me to tread alone as young, ener-

getic faces greeted me from all sides.

Wait! Did I say ‘greeted’ me?

Actually they gazed at

me wondering what this

hunk, in casuals, is doing

in a women’s college.

But I swear I don’t

remember even a single

face because all of them

were white. I mean they

were dressed in white.

Bachtay bachatay we

reached middle of the

college hallway where I

couldn’t believe my eyes

as a white army of girls,

going in opposite direc-

tion, almost blocked our way.

My colleague managed to clear the block-

ade, but poor me, I mistook a girl as my

neighbour and before I could open my

mouth I lost sight of my companion.

And then rest is an ordeal not a story

with fun.

Carrying a backpack and microplan simu-

lation kit, I struggled to cross the beautiful

white barrier in the hallway.

I took out my phone and called my col-

league. “Hello Shaeeb, where are you?

Which direction are you in. I think I got

stuck here near this chemistry lab.”

Shaeeb replied:“Take the straight path.”

Owing to my shyness, I hung up the call

and started to walk again.

I found myself completely lost.

Oh my God! Why are these ‘girls studying

in a women’s college’ staring at me? How

will I handle such participants in the SAP?

Hesitant but conscious, I took a pan shot

(a video camera movement) over another

group of ‘girls studying in a women’s college’

sitting in one of the lawns, gossiping and

enjoying ice creams, American style potato

chips, Rani juices etc etc.

The pan stopped as somebody slightly

pushed me. I turned around to see who is

giving me this respect and saw a little girl

smiling at me.

“Sorry,” she said.

And I uttered the routine stuff. “It is ok.”

As she was leaving, I asked her about the

location of ‘smart classroom’.

“Aap straight jaa kar, left lelo.” she said

and I thanked her with a smile.

I moved ahead and my gaze stopped at a

door wherein it was written “Please take off

your shoes”.

This should be the ‘smart classroom’. I

talked to myself and loosened the shoe laces.

My colleague appeared on the scene and

seeing my condition he said. “Where were

you sirji. It was just close to principal’s

chamber?”

Dude, are we here to watch a movie? I

asked myself as I stepped inside the class-

room.

More than 60 uniform clad girls packed

in a 12/12 room fitted with a modern projec-

tor screen displaying “My Computer”.

Everybody looking at JKEDI team

(Ishfaq, Shaeeb and Gautam), artificial

smiles greeting us we just stood in front of

the young white crowd.

(There was no space even to adjust one

more chair.)

Seeing some girls sitting on the floor I too

preferred to wait on green unitex matting till

my turn to address the students.

And then finally the moment came when

my name was announced to deliver few

power point presentations regarding entre-

preneurship.

The PPTs went smooth and I tried to

make them laugh by citing relevant exam-

ples.

It was the time for simulations and we

shifted to a not so smart classroom this

time. More students joined the original

group. Believe me this time the simulation

wasn’t as smooth as I would normally ex-

pect.

Is this the college where police keeps

guard outside the gate and doesn’t allow

boys to roam near?

Can a group of girls

turn such an unmanage-

able crowd? I kept think-

ing about it. Simulation,

though the toughest so far

in SAPs, was finally over

with some good results.

We had some innovative

products in hand.

“Sir hum logoon ne aaj

tak class mein kabi itna

enjoy nahi kiya. Thank

you sir hamein bohit

maza aaya aaj,”(We have

never enjoyed a class like

this. Thank you sir).

We announced the winners of simulation

and the winning groups jumped with joy.

It was heartening to see such smiles on

young, promising faces of the Kashmir Val-

ley. It was an achievement for all of them

that they are getting a chance to represent

their college at divisional level competition.

For the first time I was in the biggest and

known college of my home district. In my

college days I won’t even dare to visit the

area since I was a shy guy.

On my way out, I came to know that I was

in a college where 5,000 girls are enrolled

for different streams and that is why I lost

my way.

Yes guys I was in Women’s College Anant-

nag, which at one point of time was out of

bounds for me and today I interacted with

its principal and students. And the love and

respect I received from the students was

overwhelming.

Back to principal’s chamber, Shaeeb and

I went to formally thank him for his coop-

eration.

As we were about to enter his room, the

female teaching staff came to mark their

evening attendance.

On seeing us standing outside they

looked at us and asked a helper: “Ye ladkay

yahan kya kar rahay hain”

A smile I exchanged with one of the girls and

said relax didi we are from JKEDI.

Didi, we are from JKEDI Fun in search of entrepreneurial streak part 2

Musings

By Ishfaq Mir

4 JK’EDIOTS— An internal newsletter of JKEDI

JK’EDIOTS Volume 1 Issue 6 August 15, 2014

Dear Ediots,

At this very special time of year, JKEDI and JKEDIOTS is send-ing to you and your loved ones very best wishes for a joyous and blessed Eid. May you enjoy good health, peace and happiness in the times to come.

Thank you for all you do to make JKEDI a true family in hope and love. May God bless you with lost of joy and happiness and make this Eid a special one for your families!

The month of Ramadhan has just passed by. Most of us ab-stained from food, drink and lots of worldly flavours from dawn to dusk to improve all dimensions of the self. That is really a great gift from the Allah to give us a chance do so. And the essence of Eid celebration lies in the spirit of thankfulness to the Allah.

Ramadhan has trained us to be deeply committed with integrity, truthfulness, honesty and justice. However, it doesn’t stop there at the holy month.

The spirit needs to be carried forward and jelled with our daily conduct post Ramadhan. We can only have a better world, a better society, a better place to work, only if we have good individuals and we can only have better individuals if each of us commit to improve ourselves and our conduct and behaviors with our fellow men and

women who are our colleagues. Let’s shun all the grudges and ha-tred and start living like a good and happy family does.

This can surely enhance our potential to have a positive impact on the world around us, particularly in the work we do.

Our ancestors have taught us the teachings of Ramadhan which are to tend to our personal infrastructure of body, mind, heart and the soul. If we succeed in doing that a happy and fulfilling life is guaranteed from the Allah.

From ethical and moral perspectives, we should contemplate the higher purpose and the deeper meaning of our lives - and try to live meaningfully and spiritually.

That only gets possible when we start getting honest with each and every aspect of our lives. As the charity starts from home, let’s get honest with ourselves first.

On this day, let’s resolve to live by the commands and the ideals the holy month of Ramadhan has taught us and at the same time effectively convey these values to others.

May God bless you with more Ramadhans and Eids in your times to come.

Let’s live by the values

of Ramadhan

Manager’s command

PMIS Manager Zubair Lone to Faheem ud

din Malik who is sitting in the ground floor

lobby doing nothing:

Zubair: What are you doing here,

Faheem?

Faheem: Executing your command,

Zubair Sir.

Zubair: But I haven't told you anything.

Faheem (smiles with proud): So and I do

nothing.

Save the energy

Aarif Nabi goes to buy an a CFL energy

saver at an electric appliance shop. Next day

he returns the bulb and shouts at the store-

keeper.

Aarif Nabi: Yesterday I bought an energy

saving bulb from your shop, returned home,

but it does not work. You cheated me.

Shopkeeper: No I didn’t. You asked for

maximum energy saving. The bulb should

not because it saves energy and your energy

cost.

Fairoze at a bank

Fairoze comes to a bank with a cheque he

had given to a friend to clear a debt:

Fairoze to the branch manager : My

cheque was returned with a remark:

"Insufficient funds".

I'd like to know whether it refers to mine

or the bank?

The manager could only stare at Fairoze.

Chinese products

Arsalan Khan of the IT department was

asked how can he prove the Great Wall of

China is among the seven wonders of the

world.

A witty Arsalan was quick to answer.

Simple. It is the only Chinese product

that lasted for more than four weeks and

stands strong even today.

The best manager in the

world

Yaasir of the PMIS goes to see his super-

visor Zubair Lone.

"Boss," Yaasir says, "we're doing some

heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow,

and my mother needs me to help with the

attic and the garage, moving and hauling

stuff."

Zubair with a terse look. We're short-

handed, Yaasir. I can't give you the day off

as the Himayat training batch is to start

next week. We need to mobilize lots of can-

didates for that.

Yaasir: "Thanks, boss I knew I could

count on you as I always do!"

Work Break

HR Manager Syed Firdous Bukhari is

said to be issuing the following notice:

“In view of our keen desire to stay in

business, the management has deemed nec-

essary a change in terms of employment.

It will be compulsory to do something

called work in between tea breaks, coffee

breaks, smoking breaks, lunch breaks and

rest room breaks.

The management tends to call this “THE

WORK BREAK”.

(Disclaimer: Dear Ediots, Reader’s dis-

cretion is highly advised for this work of

fiction.

Any resemblance of fictitious characters

with that of your names and designations

is purely coincidental. Please don’t take

anything to your hearts. And if you do,

don’t even think that we are going to apolo-

gise for causing you heartbreaks.)

JUST