JCRC’s Proud to be Jewish in the Public Schools November 11, 2012 at Temple Rodef Shalom 2100 Westmoreland Street, Falls Church Presenters Jewish Community

JCRC’sProud to be Jewish in the Public

Schools November 11, 2012at Temple Rodef Shalom

2100 Westmoreland Street, Falls Church

Presenters

Jewish Community Relations Council (JCRC) of Greater WashingtonDebra Linick, Director for DC & Northern Virginia 703-893-4007Steve Adleberg, Educational Outreach Associate, 703-962-9232

Jewish Social Service Agency (JSSA) – Northern Virginia OfficeAndrew McGahan, LCSW/LICSW, Clinical Director, 703-204-9100

Partnership for Jewish Life and Learning (PJLL)Avi West, Resource Center Director, 240-283-6200

Proud to be Jewish: Today’s Agenda

Learning about the Jewish resources in your community (JCRC)

Addressing incidents / holiday conflicts collaboratively with the schools (JCRC)

Understanding Guidelines on Religious Expression at Public Schools (JCRC)

Dealing with Discriminating or Threatening Behaviors (JSSA)

Educating your child (JSSA) Promoting a Positive Jewish Identity in the home

(PJLL) Panel Discussion addressing your questions

JCRC’s Proud to be Jewish ProgramContact: Steve Adleberg, [email protected] / 703-962-9232

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Virginia Schools & Tolerance

Top rankings for public education

Top rankings for anti-bullying policies

2010 law enacts new policy improvements

Other initiatives to promote respect for religious diversity and tolerance

At schools, in the Jewish community, in homes


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Pop Quiz – Question #1

Your school is putting on a nativity play to celebrate the winter season.Is this permissible?What do you do?


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A group of high school students wants to meet during lunchtime for Bible study.Is this permissible?


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Equal Access Act

Free expression vs. limits on time, place and mannerMay not disrupt instruction Equal access for religious groups vs. proselytizing


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For a homework assignment, students are required to illustrate their winter break activities. Debbie draws a picture of her family lighting the Menorah. The teacher posts the class’ work on a bulletin board. Should she include Debbie’s picture as well as those of her classmates who drew their families at mass?


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Understanding Your Resources

Federal, State, and Local School Board Policies, Regulations, and GuidelinesSchool teachers / guidance counselors / administratorsOutside resources: your synagogue & JCRC


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Government Guidelines

Teaching about ReligionFreedom of SpeechAccess to FacilitiesCeremonies and ObservancesAbsences / Class AttendanceAnti-harassmentTeaching of Controversial TopicsCurriculum


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Best Approaches for Best Outcomes

A safety plan for your childPenalties for offenders – not necessarily in your controlCollaborate; don’t aggravateCultivate positive outcomes – e.g., taking advantage of “teachable moments”Build important relationshipsWork up the Chain of Command


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Summary

Setting realistic expectations & identify concrete outcomes

For holiday conflicts Students shouldn’t be penalized for religious observance Your school district’s policies should say that – know the

policies when raising an issue

For religious expression Guidelines on free expression vs. limits on time, place &

manner Equal access for religious groups vs. proselytizing Recognizing holidays vs. celebrating holidays

For incidents A safety plan for your child A teachable moment? Penalties for offenders – not necessarily in your control Collaborate; don’JCRC’s Proud to be Jewish Program

Contact: Steve Adleberg, [email protected] / 703-962-9232

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When incidents happen…

Notice the signs: changes in your child’s behavior

Understand the Situation when / where did it happen? who was there? what was the response

Understand your resources school teachers, guidance counselors / administrators involving outside resources: your synagogue & JCRC can

help

Communicating positively with your school And when your child needs additional

supports…


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Understanding Discrimination

Anti-Semitism- discrimination against or prejudice or hostility toward Jews. Can be one time incident or ongoing Can be verbal, physical, graffiti,

subtle, cyber Can also fall under the definition of

Bullying (will be discussed in more detail)


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Understanding Discrimination

Curiosity (or lack of knowledge) vs. Discrimination Inquisitiveness by those of other religions or

communities General lack of understanding of Jewish holidays,

beliefs, customs, or traditions Genuine questions asked by other students (vs.

vindictive comments or questions meant to bring about embarrassment, shame, humiliation, or unwanted attention)

Sometimes it is important to understand that when questions or comments are made, they are not being done with an intent to harm, embarrass or hurt. Then again, sometimes they are. Knowing the difference is key.


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Bullying vs. Peer Conflicts

Bullying consists of behaviors that are: Ongoing Intentional Imbalance of

Power

Peer Conflicts consists of: Arguments Single episodes Can be

unintentional


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Bullying vs. Peer Conflicts

Types of Bullying: Physical Verbal Sexual Racial Written (graffiti) Coercion, threatening,

intimidation Cyber Social (isolation, exclusion,

gossip)JCRC’s Proud to be Jewish ProgramContact: Steve Adleberg, [email protected] / 703-962-9232

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Educating Your Child

Knowing the definitions (Bullying, racism, conflict, ignorance, curiosity)

Discussion of what it means to be “different” or a minority

Handling the situation Seeking support

(Parents, school teacher or guidance counselor, social)

Reporting incident (to parent, school or other trusted adult)

What should your child do if a trusted adult doesn’t help? Tell another adult until someone does help.

Aggressive vs. Assertive Use of role play (in the

home) Having a Safety Plan


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What to do If You Think Your Child is Being Bullied

Talk with your child. Tell your child you are worried about him/her and that you’d like to help. Ask questions (direct and indirect).

Make sure your child knows being bullied is not his or her fault.

Discuss ways of dealing with bullies (ignore, humor, assertive, involving others) – what feels most comfortable for the child.

Tell your child to report bullying immediately to a trusted adult. Help your child identify someone at school they would feel safe telling.

Contact your child’s teacher/school.


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If You Think Your Child May be Being Bullied

Do NOT Ask your child to solve a bullying problem

themselves.

Advise your child to fight back (physically).

Try to talk with the bully yourself or set up a meeting between them.

Convey to your child that something is wrong with

him/her or that she/he deserves the treatment.


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What to Do If You Think Your Child May be Bullying Others Calmly and privately identify bullying behavior,

strategize with your child better responses and state that bullying is not an option.

Spend more time with child monitor behavior with friends – point out good behavior for praise as well as negative actions.

Develop clear and consistent rules and consequences for bullying and reward appropriate behavior.

Help your child learn alternative ways to deal with anger and frustration and develop empathy skills.

Share your concerns with your child’s school. Listen calmly if contacted by school and work in partnership to resolve issues.

Be aware of own behavior. How do you model handling conflict?


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What to Do if Your Child Witnesses Bullying…

Brainstorm with your child what his/her options are for handling situation.

Reinforce that you do not condone bullying and your child should not join in.

Reinforce the idea that there is power in numbers. Get your child to be a proactive witness (by, at minimum, reporting).

Support the difference between tattling and telling.

Help your child report the incidence to the

appropriate school administrator. JCRC’s Proud to be Jewish ProgramContact: Steve Adleberg, [email protected] / 703-962-9232

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Positive Jewish Identity

Positive Jewish Identity (year round)

Self- Esteem

Modeling in the home

Family Identity/Jewish values

Educating the Community (hosting Seders, talking to coaches, extra-

curricular activities)


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Documents

JCRC’s Proud to be Jewish in the Public Schools November 11, 2012 at Temple Rodef Shalom 2100 Westmoreland Street, Falls Church Presenters Jewish Community