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1 SHAREMONTHLY JANUARY 2013 ADOPTION- SHARE.COM

January Share Monthly 2013

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Our collection of thoughts, resources, opinions, and events to share with those curious about adoption, have embarked on their adoption journey, or just want some information!

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Page 1: January Share Monthly 2013

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Last month Russia’s President, Vladimir Putin, signed a bill into law prohibiting US couples from adopting Russian children. So many children and families who’s dreams of making a home together were shattered. In his interview with Pastor Rick Warren during the 2008 Presidential election, then Senator Barack Obama acknowledged evil’s presence in the world at global, national, and personal levels but cautioned the audience to be humble in our approach to confronting it. Obama went on to say that evil, “has been perpetuated based on the claim that we were trying to confront evil.” Evil is unique in that it can be both stopped and perpetuated by more of itself. It is cyclical by its very nature and as a result forces us to delineate between the “lesser of two evils,” justifying actions as a “necessary evil” and so forth. Russia’s decision to ban Americans from adopting its orphaned children of which there are an estimated 740,000 institutionalized children is evil. The story of the American mother who sent her child back to Moscow and other stories of abuse and neglect on the part of a few American parents are also evil. Russia

has been accused of taking its own children hostage in the crossfire of global politics. Russia claims it has been concerned about its children living with

Americans in light of stories of abuse. The bill that bans Americans from adopting is dubbed after Dima Yakovlev, a toddler that died after his American adoptive father left him in a car broiling with heat. So how can we end the cycle of evil as it pertains to this tragedy and others? I would say it involves more then boycotting vodka. Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn said this, “...the line separating good and evil passes not

through states, not between classes, nor between political parties, but through every human heart” If we want to end evil, we need to partner with the only God that can defeat it, all of it down to its most systemic reach. We need to evaluate our own hand in evil and take steps to change. Jesus said this "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

A word from our founderBy Anthea Ramirez, Chief Sharer

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Our Founder and Adoption-Share Featured on CNN!We have an incomplete conversation regarding how we talk about options for women confronted with an unwanted pregnancy. Adoption is often left out, yet it represents common ground that we can all rally behind. To check out our feature on CNN, click HERE and join the conversation on how we can increase adoption awareness!

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“Transformative” is one adjective tossed about these days to describe how navigating the Internet has changed our daily lives. Whether one is searching for the best local place for romantic waterfront dining or the quickest route to grandma’s, “you can get there from here,” as they say, thanks to the Internet. And now the Internet can join us on our daily travels and travails aboard mobile devices and smart phones. Indeed, technology has transformed our world. These days, it seems there is an “app” for just about everything. This same transformation has taken root in the adoption world. Today, many prospective adoptive parents find and get matched with birth mothers with the click of a mouse. What historically has been a more ordered and professionally supervised exercise has evolved into a “click and pick” event. The proliferation of social media, online networking, email marketing, specific and targeted online profiles, just to name a few, all have coalesced to empower the prospective adoptive parents to take ownership and control rather than passively cede this effort and responsibility to an adoption professional. Bluntly speaking, however, and the upshot of this article is that an adoption professional are essential and invaluable in today’s and tomorrow’s world of adoption, notwithstanding this “transformative” age of technology. First, while the advent of new technologies, overall, is welcome, the specter remains of the dishonest person, preying on the

vulnerable, prospective adoptive parent, traversing these uncharted waters without counsel, believing naively in the altruism of all involved, empowered by the allure of the Internet, and attracted to the notion of going it alone, saving money. While venturing out on one’s own, unrepresented, can be successful, regrettably, lawyers know that this not only is a recipe for a failed or disrupted adoption, but also sets up the prospective adoptive parent for a direct financial hit to the solar plexus. As an adoption attorney, I sadly know well of scheming birth parents, many of whom have begun to utilize technology, social media, and the Internet to take unconscionable advantage of prospective adoptive parents. As of late, the media has been replete with examples of these sordid tales. Two, birth parents typically experience a variety of emotions and thought processes as they navigate the adoption option, and it is important for an adoption professional to help assist birth parents understand their inner and outwardly expressed fears, all while being mindful of the landmines and privacy concerns of adoptive parents.

Transformation of Adoption Jeanne Tate, Esq

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Continued on page 3

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Check out the Adoption-Share video!For testimonies of how Adoption-Share is helping pregnancy centers,

adoptive families, agencies and birthparents, click HERE!

And while adoptive parents can use the Internet to their advantage, they ultimately need the assistance of an adoption professional to complete their adoption, to ensure among other matters that: the family’s confidentiality/privacy is safeguarded; only allowable expenses are paid to or on behalf of the birth mother and for the legally allowed duration of time, including post-partum; enhanced scrutiny and adherence to the legal requirements of notice is given to a fathers; and the exacting guideposts

of the ICPC are followed for the out-of–state adoptive family. As should be crystal clear, the above outlines only a smattering of what is the dizzying array of nuances and legal protocols unique to adoption. Candidly, the lone wolf “we go it alone” attitude is a minefield, and regularly sets up the prospective adoptive family for emotional heartache and financial heartbreak. There has been an enormous uptick of birth parents searching for an adopted child, many with

less than desired outcomes. A 13-year-old child should not learn from Facebook that he is adopted, nor should a child receive contact from his birth mother outside the watchful eye and without the knowledge of his adoptive parents. Many of these unsolicited contacts, which move rapidly from e-mail, to instant messaging to video chat, come at a vulnerable time in the life and identity of a minor child, and without any precaution or preparation for the effect of the communication on the child himself.

Transformation of Adoption (continued from page 3)

Continued on page 4

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The revolution that encompasses the Internet also has spilled over into the post-adoption realm, where birth mothers are looking to contact or reunite with children they’ve placed for adoption, and adult-adoptees are searching for their birth parents. With Facebook reportedly enjoying over 750 million active users and now an IPO on the way, with Google launch of its Google+ project to go head-to-head with Facebook, and all of this on top of Twitter and other digital technologies, the “click and meet” prospects within the adoption world seem more infinite than ever. What must accompany the transformation cause by the Internet in this arena is a word of caution. For many decades, search and reunion efforts justifiably have relied on a system of gatekeepers and official procedures to protect the interests of all parties in the adoption triad. Although it is not that well known or utilized frequently, states like Florida have a statutory mechanism in place that can allow disclosure of birth parent information and mutual communication through use of an intermediary who protects the interests of all concerned. This long standing and vetted process should not be circumvented by a computer with access to the internet. Utilizing the Internet in conjunction with partnering with an adoption professional is the responsible, most effective and fail-safe way to protect the integrity of adoption and the best interests of children.

Transformation of Adoption (continued from page 4)

FACEBOOK CHAT

January Facebook Chat Re: Adoption Tax CreditTax Attorney Gil Nellis of Murray Nellis Law Firm joins us again this time in the year 2013 to answer YOUR questions about the adoption tax credit. To participate go to our Adoption-Share Facebook page at 9:00 pm EST on Tuesday January 22, 2013.If you have conflicting plans at that time, please post your question on our Facebook page and we will be sure to ask for you!

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Cover Story in In what seemed to be a wake up call to pro-choicers on their impending doom of losing women’s reproductive rights, Kate Pickert, notes the fragmentation among those who identify as pro-choicers. There is apparent divide within women’s pro-choice circles. The wave of newbies, fresh out of high school or just out of college, want leadership in the ranks but are looked over by those who’s efforts helped make abortion legal in the United States. The older pro-choice generation is not communicating effectively with the younger generation, who perhaps take for granted all that their foremothers fought for on their behalf. 10 pages later, Ms. Pickert offers the challenge for pro-choicers, “widen access to a procedure most Americans believe should be restricted --and no one

wants to ever need.“ The article goes on to say that continuing to advocate for abortion on demand in our current cultural climate will continue to allow pro-lifers to make increasing gains to cut off access to abortions on the state level. Gains that include abortion clinics being licensed and doctors that have the ability to admit a patient to the nearest hospital if something goes wrong. Though Ms. Pickert theorizes a lower national abortion rate in the US should be “something both sides of the abortion debate to share credit for or even celebrate”, no word is spoken about a life affirming option to a woman who is unable to parent her child: adoption. Adoption is again left out of the conversation. By inserting adoption into the conversation, we can bring reform thereby offering women with a viable alternative to parenting and abortion. To read the entire article, click here.

Special THANK YOU to Resources4Adoption, Sharon Simmons and Julie Gumm for furnishing our Facebook Fan with an awesome give-away package!

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