Introduction

If you've made it this far, to the point where you are even wondering how to get started in

comedy, then you have overcome the first obstacle on the road to becoming a stand-up

comedian. Some people loved stand-up on TV, but never considered trying it out of fear of

failure. Telling jokes in front of strangers is scary. What if you don't get any laughs?

It wasn't just fear that held me back initially, but I wish it was. What held me back for so

long was basically naivety and ignorance. I thought comedians had a certain personality, a

natural talent for making people laugh, and a performance background. I was never the class

clown, the life of the party or an actor. I envied those that were.

Sometime around 1993 I first saw Emo Philips on Showtime wearing an old Michael

Jackson Thriller jacket as I was flipping channels late at night. I already had a stack of VHS

recordings of Comedy Central's "Stand-Up Stand-Up". I memorized jokes to tell my friends and

family. I liked stand-up, but Emo was the first comic that stopped me in my tracks. If high school

made me feel like a weirdo, then Emo was the antidote. He turned weirdness into an asset. I

wanted to be Emo Philips.

I spent the next six years playing punk rock, always thinking about how cool it would be

to stand on stage telling jokes. Then I read an interview with Green Day's bass player, Mike Dirnt.

Mike said that if he wasn't playing music he would probably be a stand-up comedian.

That interview literally changed my life. I feel stupid thinking about those years now, but

until then I had never considered the idea that I could justdecide to become a stand-up

comedian. I didn't even know that there was such a thing as a comedy open mike. Within

months I quit the band, got a job at my local comedy club, and jumped feet first into my stand-

up comedy education.

In this book I'll discuss that education process. I'll show you how to begin the process of

recognizing and writing jokes. After reading this you'll know how to find stage time and create

opportunities for yourself.

Performing your original material in front of strangers may sound very intimidating

because, frankly, it is. That's why you need to be prepared. Knowing that you have something

funny to say is the best alcohol-free way to gain that courage you'll need.

Can You Learn to Be Funny?

I should quickly point out that by "funny" I mean two things:

1. The normal sense, as in, "Bob is a funny guy," and

2. A comedian who can consistently gets laughs.

The most commonly asked question I get as a teacher at Underground Comedy School is

"Is it even possible to teach someone how to be funny?" This questions shows how highly we

value someone who is naturally funny.

The reality is that there are people who were unknowingly shaped by life to be funny. One

theory, popularized by Kurt Vonnegut, suggests the youngest child is always the joke maker

because a joke is the only way he can enter the adult conversation. The other reality is that

plenty of funny and successful comedians were not the youngest child.

There are also some people like Aunt Gertrude who just don't show any signs of having a

funny bone. She is a wonderful person, but her skills don't include being witty or telling a joke.

There are people who are hilarious in the locker room, but their antics don't play out well

in a comedy show setting. Some professional comedians didn't do well performing on stage, but

they have a successful career selling jokes every day to David Letterman and other late night

shows.

I've watched hundreds of amateur comedians develop over years, each started at a

different spot in that long road to funny. A very few lucky people start funny. A few people

might never be funny. But a much larger group of people inhabit that wide gray area between

the two extremes. If given a chance, they would impress even the most skeptical onlooker as

someone you may have given up on as "never going to get it" suddenly starts connecting their

words with their unique point-of-view and begins getting laughs.

One more thing before I step down from my soapbox. Not every person who buys a guitar

is going to someday play in a band, much less play the halftime show at the Superbowl. Does

that mean they should hang up the guitar and not play for their own personal enjoyment? Of

course not. Treating stand-up comedy as a hobby is just as respectable as trying to make a career

out of it.

I've seen too many skeptics treat amateur or pro-am comedy with disrespect. It's part of a

larger dismissal that stand-up has often had to deal with. How many arts publications do

features on stand-up comedy? Not that many. But they wouldn't think of leaving out a puppet

show set to an Elizabethan harpsichord that draws eight people. Stand-up comedy is

performance art. It's challenging, nuanced and it deserves a better place in the hierarchy of arts

than karaoke's older brother.

Getting Started

It's important to define early on what getting started means. To me, getting started

means that you are putting yourself in a position where you are writing material and getting on

stage on a regular basis. So let's break this down. Finding material. Finding stage time.

Finding Material

Don't think you need material? Are you just going to wing it the night of the show? Make

fun of the audience? Good luck. I've seen many comics try, and some have been slightly

successful, but most fail. I recommend at least having some backup material to switch to if your

improvisation skills aren't sufficing.

Educate Yourself

The easiest and quickest way to educate yourself about building an act is to take a stand-

up comedy class for beginners. We present and discuss all the topics I'm about to discuss. We

bring the information to you instead of you doing all the heavy lifting. We'll help you speed up

the learning process so you can get on stage and start having fun.

Another thing you can do to begin your comedy education is to watch as much stand-up

comedy as possible. Go to a comedy club. Don't just go to see someone famous. The funniest

comedians in America are not household names.

You can find an endless amount of free stand-up comedy online. One of the comedy hot

spots on the internet is RooftopComedy.com. At Rooftop Comedy you'll see footage from

comedy open mikes all over the country.

Or go back to the recordings of your favorite comedians. While you listen to them,

remember:

Don't compare yourself to a professional comedian with years of experience. By the time

you hear of a comedian, they have very often been slugging it out in open mikes, hell gigs, clubs,

colleges and country clubs for more than 10 years. The reason you don't see them bombing

jokes or forgetting punchlines is that they have already made those mistakes and learned from

them.

There are no rules. There is no right or wrong way to do comedy, as long as you get the

results you want.

There are lots of different styles of comedy out there, and it would be tough and pointless

to squeeze them all into a cookie cutter joke formula, so we'll have to look at what almost all of

them have in common.

You're going to want to be able to stop and restart the recording. Having a pen and paper

ready is even more helpful.

Listen to a joke. The most basic parts of a joke are the setup and punchline or payoff. The

setup is the information needed for the punchline to work. Pretty simple, eh? There's a little

more to it than that.

In classic joke structure the punchline was the line that got the laughs. Most comedians

still use that structure. Punchline might sound a little restrictive to fans of alternative and

experimental comedy. Another wider view of the punchline is to call it the payoff. The payoff is

the part where the audience laughs or if you choose, where they don't. Just be sure that you

have chosen to leave the audience in the dark and that you're not just making an excuse for lazy

writing.

The setup can simply be the beginning of the joke. Think of a magician doing a classic

card trick. Every word spoken and every aspect of the trick from the introduction, including an

audience member choosing a nine of hearts, and the reshuffling is part of the setup. When the

magician pulls out the nine of hearts and finally asks, "Is this your card?" then he has reveal the

punchline or payoff at last.

If you look at a joke on paper, you'll notice that the setup is usually longer than that

punchline. But if a setup has too much or too little information, then you risk damaging the

punchline. In a well crafted joke the setup will have exactly the info needed so that the

punchline works best.

The punchline too can be messed up by a few extra words. The punchline often gets its

punch from being short and sweet.

"When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first,

piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas..." - Emo Philips

The punchline is "enemas". Everything else is the setup. If Emo had stopped at the word

"other," there would not have been a laugh.

Even an unconventional comedian such as Andy Kaufman had a setup and a payoff. When

he would punish hecklers by reading The Great Gatsby from the stage, he was setting up a

payoff. After reading so long that audience members were leaving, he asked if the remaining

audience would rather listen to a record. Desperate for a change, the audience wanted to hear

the record. The recording was of Andy Kaufman continuing to read from the precise place he

had stopped in the book. Payoff revealed.

Listen to your favorite comedians. Pay attention to the exact point where the punchline

begins. Are there any parts of the setup that are unnecessary? Was there a minimal amount of

words involved in the reveal of the punchline?

You don't have to analyze jokes in order to make them funny. It is helpful though to be

aware that there is a specific moment when you should expect a reaction from the audience. If

the audience doesn't laugh, was it their fault or yours? Did you include all the information

needed for the punchline to work? Or was it just not a funny idea?

The Material

How much material do you need?

Here in Louisville, on Show Up and Go Up comics get three minutes. On Louisville Comedy

Underground comics get 5 minutes. Your typical open mike set of 3-5 minutes is a substantial

amount of time considering that on a professional comedy show, the MC or host, will typically

do about 10 minutes up front. The night of the UCS graduation show, if you run out of material

(or if things aren't going well) it is okay to end your set early. Don't worry, the host will be ready.

Write it down!

Don't think you need material? Are you just going to wing it the night of the show? Make fun of

the audience? Good luck. I've seen many comics try, and some have been successful, but most

fail. I recommend at least having some backup material to switch to if your improvisation skills

aren't sufficing.

Generating material

Always carry a notepad and pen with you. It can be something as simple as a folded up

piece of paper.

Pay attention to details. Write down everything that strikes you as funny. When you hear

someone say an worn out cliche, write it down. When a stranger's five-year-old annoys you at

the supermarket, write it down. Take notes of everything odd about the world.

Think about what you do for a living. What's funny about working at the insurance

company? Examine every action or phrase. At work, is it necessary to have a disclaimer attached

to your email address stating that your email about going to see Avatar in 3D is "strictly

confidential"? Write it down.

Ask questions about everything. The classics are: who, what, when, why, where and how.

Let's take a topic like Hot Pockets. What are Hot Pockets? Who came up with the little Hot

Pockets sleeve? Who came up with the theme for the Hot Pockets commercial? How does

anyone eat Hot Pockets? Jim Gaffigan built a nice career out of hard work and Hot Pockets.

Don't skip the commercials. Commercials cost thousands of dollars to produce and

market. An advertising agency knows exactly who their target demographic is. Who is watching

that Depends commercial thinking, "I'm sick of not having confidence. I need Depends!" Does

Pizza Hut really think they are going to trick anyone into thinking their lasagna is authentic

Italian cuisine? Not me.

Write what you know. The easiest place to find material is in your daily life. If you are

plumber, tell us what annoys you about non-plumbers who call you at 3:00am and then

complain that you are too expensive. Ask questions. Write it down.

If you are really willing/able to invest the time, I strongly urge you to write three pages

every day. What!? Three pages!? They don't have to be three pages of jokes. Just fill up three

pages with any thought that comes to mind. If you keep thinking, "I hate writing," then write it

down. Julia Cameron's book The Artist's Way popularized the concept of skimming the leaves

off your creative pool every morning. I will however recommend that if anyone asks what you

did this morning, you call them morning pages. If you tell them you were 'skimming the leaving

off your creative pool,' then they might think you are having relationship problems.

:rimshot:

Is this thing on? As I was saying...

Three pages of stream-of-consciousness writing is about what it takes to transform you

from groggily wishing you could put down your pen and start your day to suddenly wishing you

had 45 more minutes to write. Write whatever it takes to fill those three pages: your grocery list,

a list of teachers that inspired you, or imaginary list mustard ingredients like shoe sauce and

Ned's lip. Just fill those pages.

How do you find things that are funny?

You look for them. How many people do you know that carry around a small notepad and

a pen everywhere they go? Anything, and I mean anything, that you see, hear or do that strikes

you as:

odd,

unnecessary,

untrue,

hypocritical,

true throughout the ages,

ridiculous,

mistaken,

poorly thought out,

boring,

interesting,

confusing,

unfair,

selfish,

unrealistic, etc.

The more you train your brain to be on the lookout for things that stand out, the easier it

will be to notice potential material.

Don't judge the list. No one is going to see your notebook except you. Use a series of

symbols so that you can quickly page through my notebook and find the funniest parts.

Begin trying to craft some of these ideas into material. Don't get hung up on whether or

not you're writing classic comedy material. Just treat everything as an exercise in expanding

your observations.

For example, you notice two birds side by side on a fence. One of them flies away. The

other stays.

Just start playing with the idea. Did the remaining bird look surprised, like it was saying,

"Oh come on! I'm not saying you're fat. I'm just saying your wings look shorter." Maybe that's

why birds crash into your window.

Craft the funny idea into a joke or bit

Now that you have something funny to talk about on stage, find a way to present that

idea to complete strangers. These strangers might be from different walks of life, and if you plan

on talking about LARPing (Live Action Role Playing), then you may need to explain what a LARP

is. Hopefully even your explanation is funny.

Try to craft your funny idea into the setup/punchline format. Remember, if you don't

know where you expect the audience to laugh, then they won't either.

Five minutes?!

Your first time on stage will be given anywhere from 3-7 minutes. Different venues,

different show organizers, and different rules. Most often I've seen open mike spots be five

minutes long. So let's assume we're working with that time length.

Some people say, "Five minutes?! Is it cool if I only do three minutes?" Others will say,

"Only five minutes?! I need five minutes just to get warmed up. I need more time."

Maybe you're going to kill for five minutes. Great! As you visit open mikes, you'll see

comics that can barely handle two minutes, much less five. Do you want to be the person that

argues with every comic about how many minutes they deserve? You don't. Everybody gets five

minutes. No whining. You can always do less time, if you only have three funny minutes, but

don't make the unprofessional mistake of just stealing a couple extra minutes for yourself

because "the audience wanted more." The comics later in the show are going to be annoyed

because you've contributed to them having a drunker, sleepier audience to work in front of.

Your first time on stage, I would recommend that you just aim at four minutes because

hopefully the audience will be laughing, and that eats up some time. After a few times, you'll be

much better at predicting how much time a certain piece of material lasts.

Finding Stage Time

Getting started in stand-up comedy can be easy or tough, depending on where you live.

Luckily stand-up comedy is no longer reserved exclusively for people living in cities.

However, that is generally where you're going to find an open mike.

Open mics are where most amateurs begin learning stand-up comedy. You may have a

very funny idea, but until you try it in front of an audience, you can't be confident that you have

the best wording and delivery. Maybe since the topic is familiar to your and your friends, you are

assuming some info that the general audience does not know.

So how do you find an open mic?

This question can have a few answers depending on where you live. Finding open mics in

New York City is a lot easier than finding one in Gnawbone, Indiana. But don't lose hope if you

live out in the sticks.

Open mics in the city

First try a simple Google search of "comedy open mike mic [insert your town or a nearby

city]" Keep in mind that both "open mike" and "open mic" are correct spellings.

Try searching www.openmikes.org. The listings here might be outdated or incorrect,

simply because anyone with an email address can submit listings. In my city, the longest running

comedy open mic occurs three nights a week at 9:30. However, openmikes.org lists it as

happening one night a week at 10:00. You'll always want to contact the venue and get the latest

info, which brings me to the best option.

Call the comedy club closest to you, and ask if and when the open mic takes place, and

who runs the show. If you can get their contact info, then you've just found your best resource.

The guy/gal running the open mic will know not only their own shows but also who they are

competing against. I've never known someone who ran an open that was unwilling to give out

info about other open mics. The more open mics you do, the funnier you'll be when you show up

at his show.

If the club does not have an open mic, then the person taking reservations at the comedy

club may not have any info for you. At that point, ask if there is a local comic that they can pass

along your contact info to. For good reasons, they will probably not give you someone's phone

number without their permission.

Another option, check out the club's website. The MC on the main show is very often a

local comic. See if he has a website, MySpace or Facebook account. Shoot him a message. He'll

know where local comics are practicing.

Sometimes the local comics have a website or Facebook page where they chat online.

If you still haven't found the info you need, call the club to reserve a ticket to a comedy

show. Ask the reservationist if any of the comics are local. Showing up in person demonstrates

your seriousness, and people who have become jaded about comedy (comedians, club staff),

will be more likely to help you if you're standing in front of them.

The half hour before the show begins is going to be very hectic for the manager or club

owner, especially on weekends. Don't get in the way. Either show up at the earliest possible

moment, before most of the crowd has arrived or wait until after the show. If you're standing in

line with a hundred other people, then it is not the best time to slowing down the cashier or

manager because they are too busy.

At least one of the comedians on the show is usually going to be hanging out for a bit

after the show. The local comic, if there is one, will be able to help you.

If there are no comedy open mics in your town, then you may have to try regular open

mics. These are still an option even when you have plenty of comedy open mics in your area. The

more you challenge yourself as a comedian, the better you'll become at adjusting to awkward

environments. You'll be going on stage with musicians and poets. These might be tough gigs,

since people at regular open mics aren't asked to sit quietly. However, you might find that they

are happy to see something different.

You might be in a town that doesn't have a full time comedy club, but they do have what

is called a one-nighter. Occasionally, a bar or restaurant might have night a week where they

have an early comedy show that ends before the late night bar rush.

Call the bar and find out who you need to talk to about getting a few minutes on that

show. Be prepared for them to say no. Many places are trying to demonstrate to their customers

that "Tuesday at Tito's Bar is the only place to see a professional comedy show in Sticksville," and

they do not want to diminish that by throwing an unknown amateur on stage.

If you do get the opportunity, it's very important that you don't make them regret putting

you on the show. Just because you saw Richard Pryor or George Carlin doing dirty material on

TV, that doesn't mean that you can. Save that until you are absolutely sure that the

owner/manager is okay with dirty (or "blue") material. Find out what they consider dirty.

The best bet is usually to start clean. Being clean just gives them one less reason to

dismiss you. What is clean? There are many different opinions on this question, but to be safe,

stay away from bodily functions, harsh language and sex. This is just a rough guideline, and

depending on the location of the venue you might find some things are acceptable and others

are not.

When you do your set, once again be sure that you don't give them a reason to dismiss

you the next time you ask for time. Other ways to shoot yourself in the foot include: doing seven

minutes instead of the five they offered you, dressing so poorly that you are an embarrassment

to the show, not tipping waitstaff, getting plastered before or after the show, showing up high,

or lastly, bombing really bad and not having the good sense to bail early so that the

professionals can get up and recover the show.

If you have neither a club or a one-nighter in your area, or if you just want more time than

they are able to give you, you might have consider the toughest option: start your own show.

How to Create Your Own Stage Time

Despite this being the most time consuming option, you'll have the option of going up on

every show and pretty much doing as much time as you want. However, if you hog up too much

time, other comics may decide that they aren't treated fairly. They might go elsewhere.

Possible venues will be any place that you would normally find an open mic, coffee shops

and bars. When you talk to the manager, they'll want to hear how you're going to make them

more money or boost a slow night. You will need a microphone, a P.A. system, a stage and

sufficient lighting. Hopefully the venue will already have those. If not, you'll have to rent them or

decide to do without.

If you can find a comedy booking agency in your region, then perhaps you can set up your

own one-nighter. Bring professionals to town. You could be the house MC. If you need help

finding a booking agency, contact us at UndergroundComedySchool.com.

Creating your own venue will take a lot of time to get started, a lot of time to maintain it,

and will probably cause a lot of stress. But it will be worth it if it saves you from having to drive

two hours to the closest open mic.

These still are not the only options. Get a webcam and start a video blog. Post videos on

YouTube, etc. You could became an internet sensation. There are websites all over the internet

that love free content. They won't take just anything. Make sure that the sample video you

submit is funny.

Your First Time on Stage

First of all, assuming you spread the word to friends, family and coworkers, you will have a

team of loyal supporters who want nothing else other than to see you get laughs. To your

friends, you are a hero. Most people want to be a comedian, but only a small amount ever

summon the courage to sign up. You are exceptional simply by making it this far.

Audiences are very forgiving of new comedians. They too wish they had the guts to get on

stage, and they have instant respect for anyone willing to try something that they personally

cannot bring themselves to do. They would love to hold the mic and have the attention of

strangers. Some people want to express their view on politics or other topical subject matters.

They want to tell a hilarious story about their camping trip gone awry. They want to do what

Carlin, Pryor, Seinfeld, Hedberg, Chappelle, Rock, Martin (Steve or Demetri)--or in my case--Emo

Philips did. Almost every comic you could name started at an open mike of some kind.

Your nerves will do everything they can to prevent you from performing. A few days

before the show, your nerves will try convince you that you're not ready. You'll consider emailing

me and pushing the date back. The day of the show you might skip work and spend all day

cramming for the show, trying desperately to come up with material. Before your Fruity Pebbles

could get soggy, your nerves will be telling you that the anxiety will all go away if you send one

simple email that says, "Hey, I can't make it to the show tonight."

Even the night of the show, you might have a beer in a white-knuckled grip, and still your

nerves are saying, "There's still time. Just chug the beer, move your car onto a side street, and

call your friends to explain that 'of all the nights' you got a flat tire and won't be able to make it.

Then your first guest walks into the club. At this point your nerves dive behind a glob of old

Hubba Bubba because your friends are here. There's no turning back at this point without a little

embarrassment.

Once the list of comics is posted, your only options are to just bail without notice or

explanation to anyone, bail with notice, or face the crowd. Your nerves might appear to be

finished fighting. However, they're just regrouping. When the comic before you is on stage, your

nerves will put up the final fight. They'll be feeding you lines to give to the MC in an attempt to

save face, "I don't have any material. I'll sign up for next month. Skip me." Your nerves whisper

that even if you're embarrassed in front of your friends for canceling after they have paid to see

you, so what! They aren't even brave enough to sign up in the first place!

"Thanks! That's my time." The comic before you has finished. The MC is on stage.

"Please, a nice warm welcome for your next comic," YOU.

Music starts. It's The Who's "My Generation." The step onto the stage is about a foot tall.

You notice for the first time the nasty rug stained from the shoes and beer of a thousand comics.

The microphone has a cord and the MC really shoved it in the stand. You hold the stand, grab the

stuck mic and pull. As the mic pops out, you realize instantly that had you been standing half an

inch closer to the stand you might have punch yourself in the teeth with a heavy metal object.

(The National Association of Dentists recommends caution when trying to free metal objects

that are stuck near your face.)

The lights are intense. Six high-powered lamps make it difficult for you to see beyond the

first couple rows. Your friends were the first to start clapping and the last to finish. You begin

doing stand-up comedy.

You get your first laugh.

Adrenaline floods your body, and you fill with confidence. You find yourself acting out

with more physicality and gestures than you've seen in years. In what seems like an instant, you

see the warning light. Time feels different on stage. 60 seconds left? That doesn't seem right, but

it is. You have to cut out some material. In a split second you find your shortest joke. Another big

laugh. You say, "Thanks, everyone. Good night." The red light turns on, and you landed perfectly

under the time limit.

Your friends applaud and cheer. Comics you have never met offer a handshake, "That was

your first time? You've got some funny stuff."

After the show your friends say they could never have done what you just did. "I wish I

had your nerves."

Conclusion

I hope this brief guide was helpful to get you writing, thinking, and motivated to break

into stand-up comedy.

Take the long view. Give yourself time to learn and improve. Developing the ability to

craft efficient setups and solid punchlines takes time. Don't get discouraged if you find yourself

progressing slower than you would like.

When I had been doing stand-up about a year, I emceed a week with my friend Jeff

Caldwell headlining. I was struggling to get laughs, and I asked for his feedback. I knew I was in

trouble when he said, "Adam, how honest do you want me to be?" Gulp. I wanted the truth. "You

have one funny joke."

I was crushed, but I went back to writing. Today ten years later, that one joke is still in my

act, and none of the others remain. Jeff was right. Allowing yourself to swallow your ego and not

get defensive is one of the best things you can do for yourself as you get started in comedy.

10 Steps to Break Into Stand-Up Comedy

1. Watch or listen to as much stand-up comedy as possible.

2. Pay attention to how the jokes are written.

3. Write down everything even slightly funny you see in your daily life.

4. Craft the funny idea into a joke that strangers can understand.

5. Find stage time and set up your first show.

6. Invite friends so that you'll have some support (easy laughers).

7. Listen to the audience. When/where did they laugh?

8. Fix your material, write some more, and try again.

9. Relax and enjoy the creative process.

10. If you are not having fun on stage, the audience won't either.

And finally,

There is no "type" of person that is naturally a comedian. You have just as much right to

be holding the mic and getting the laughs as the next aspiring comic. I've never found anything

more thrilling than getting big laughs from my favorite ideas. While the process of getting to

that point of almost guaranteed laughs seems a little daunting to someone, you'll see that it is

actually pretty easy once you get going.