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Interpersonal Communication
Dr. Martha Reavley
Odette School of Business
Introduction
Key to interpersonal and organizational effectiveness
Topics of Discussion Models of effective communication:
basic model and the pyramid of mutuality
Communication styles Native tongue exercise
The Basic Model of Communication
Sender message receiver– channel– noise
Pyramid of Mutuality
Mutual Respect
Mutual Meaning
Mutual PurposeSilence ViolenceWithdrawing Hiding Politicking Monologuing Labeling Attacking
Mutuality
A win-win situation that is built on a foundation of trust
Sharing things in common Seeking for things in common:
interests goals values
Mutual Purpose
Common goals or objectives that are built on a foundation of trust
Something we want
Mutual Meaning Observations, assumptions,
conclusions, and feelings that both parties acknowledge as valid
Available Meaning: When ideas, observations, and values are acknowledged and understood, they become part of the available pool of common meaning
Hidden Meaning: Through sharing meaning we become more aware of inconsistencies in our own thinking
Mutual Respect
Critical for maintaining dialogue Both parties choose to treat each
other with dignity, decency, and consideration, based on the assumption that others are reasonable, and decent
Silence - to - Violence continuum
Dialogue
SilenceViolence
Withdrawing hiding politicking monologuing labeling attacking
Silence Strategies
Politicking: selectively hiding and showing meaning. We hide our motives or withhold assumptions
Hiding: talking without revealing anything. Manipulative conversations
Withdrawing: Pulling out of communication completely. The most severe form of silence.
Silence Strategies exs.
At work
In school
At home
With friends
Violence Strategies Monologuing: Talking with the sole
purpose of getting what you want. Communication is unidirectional.
Labeling: Turing people into categories or things in order to get what you want. Makes it easier to do or say anything.
Attacking: Communicating for the sole purpose of pushing or hurting. It includes harsh accusation, yelling and raw invective.
Violence strategies exs.
At work
At school
At home
With friends
Strategies Test1. Let me see if I understand.
2. Oh yeah, you bozo.
3. If you say so.
4. Well, guarantee means a lot of things. So , I guess I could say I guarantee.
5. I can see you’re angry. Is it because we missed the deadline?
6. There’s no time for discussion. Just do it!
7. No, I have nothing to add. I never have anything to add.
8. You bean counters always think that way.
9. I know I missed the meeting, but you guys are doing a terrific job.
Answers1. Let me see if I understand. -dialogue. Trying to understand
2. Oh yeah, you bozo. - labeling. Name calling
3. If you say so. - Hiding. Decreased meaning
4. Well, guarantee means a lot of things. So , I guess I could say I guarantee. Politicking. Wanting to allow for different definition
5. I can see you’re angry. Is it because we missed the deadline? - dialogue. Trying to understand
6. There’s no time for discussion. Just do it! Monologuing
7. No, I have nothing to add. I never have anything to add. labeling
8. You bean counters always think that way. labeling
9. I know I missed the meeting, but you guys are doing a terrific job. politicking
Effective Communication:
A change of heart, not just a change in behaviour
Underlying ValuesSilence Dialogue Violence
Value ControloutcomesBe right
Sharedmeaning,learning
ControloutcomesBe right
Purpose Keep ithidden
Share openly Demandyour own
Meaning Discloselittle
Share openly Force yourown
Respect Indirectstrategies
Consciouseffort
Intentionalstrategy
3 Practice Scripts
Native Tongue Exercise
What This Means For Change Make specific, personal ground rules: I will use a calm
voice when speaking to… Critique your performance: How did you violate the
rule? What went wrong? Manage expectations: begin an interaction with some
explanations - “in the past this has ended in shouting match….
Apologize appropriately to allow dialogue to continue
Next Steps Commit to effective communication Understand the problems within
your group Document your progress in you
diary