ROUTLEDGELIBRARYEDITIONS:YOGA

Volume3

INDAYSOFGREATPEACE

INDAYSOFGREATPEACETheHighestYogaasLived

MOUNISADHU

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InDaysofGreatPeaceTHEHIGHESTYOGAASLIVED

MOUNISADHU

FOREWORDBY

M.HAFIZSYEDM.A.,PH.D.,D.LITT.

FIRSTPUBLISHEDIN1952

SECONDEDITIONREVISEDANDENLARGED(ANDFIRSTPUBLISHEDBYGEORGEALLENANDUNWIN)IN1957

PUBLISHEDINGERMANIN1955ASAUFDEMPFADSRIRAMANAMAHARSHIS’

PUBLISHEDINPORTUGUESEIN1956AS‘DIASDEGRANDEPAZ’

ThisbookiscopyrightundertheBerneConvention.Apartfromanyfairdealingforthepurposesofprivatestudy,research,criticismorreview,aspermittedundertheCopyrightAct1956,noportionmaybereproducedwithoutwrittenpermission.Enquiryshouldbemadetothepublishers.

©GeorgeAllen&UnwinLtd.,1957

PRINTEDINGREATBRITAINin12-pt.Bembotype

BYTHEBLACKFRIARSPRESSLTDSMITH-DORRIENROAD

LEICESTER

FOREWORD

‘Pursue the enquiry “Who am I” relentlessly. Analyse your entire personality. Try to find outwheretheI-thoughtbegins.Goonwithyourmeditations.Keepturningyourattentionwithin.Oneday thewheel of thoughtwill slowdown and an intuitionwillmysteriously arise. Follow thatintuition,letyourthinkingstop,anditwilleventuallyleadyoutothegoal’.

FromMaharshi’sTeachings

‘IftheSupremeTruthisunknown,thestudyofScripturesisfruitless;andwhentheSupremeTruthisrealizedthestudyofScripturesbecomesuseless’.

FromSriSankaracharya

Mostof thepeople in thisworldhavenofaith inspiritualvalues.To themthehuman mind is all in all, and this leads them to a variety of reflections andspeculations. Some of them call themselves sceptics, others agnostics and yetothers pride themselves on being purematerialists. The truth is veiled by ourownignorance.Wedonotcarryoursearchafteritfarenough.Havingexercisedourintellectuptoacertainlimitwefeelthereisnohopefor

furtherdiscoveryor investigation.Thisattitudeof themind is the resultof thestudyofWesternsystemsofphilosophywhich,fromtheEasternpointofview,isbarren,andleadsusnowhere,beyondspeculationsandguessesattruth.Whereas Eastern philosophy, more especially Indian system of thought,

affordssomegenuinehopeforanearnestaspirantonthepathofsearchfortruth.Almostall theancient thinkers, saintsand sageshavepointedoutanunfailingpractical path by pursuing which, one may free oneself of all doubts anduncertainties and realize the meaning and purpose of life. Their method ofapproach to truth is fairly scientific.Theydonotdogmatizenorplayupon thecredulityofourfaith.Theysimplypointoutapathandlaydowncertaindefiniteconditionsforattainingit.The final success on this path depends entirely on the aspirant’s own effort

and self-investigation. The first obvious condition is earnest desire,unquenchablethirsttodrinkthewateroflife.Inanswertoaquestionastowhataretherequisitequalificationsofadisciple,SriRamanaMaharhsioncestated:‘Heshouldhaveanintenseandincessantlongingtogetfreefromthemiseries

oflifeandtoattainsupreme,spiritualBliss.Heshouldnothavetheleastdesireforanythingelse’.Thesecondisaceaselesseffortwithcarefulandcloseobservanceofrulesof

conductandthecultivationofthevirtuesofdispassionanddiscrimination.Thethird is the search for a Sad Guru, a genuine teacher who may rightly and

successfullyguidetheaspiranttohisdestinedgoal.Itmay be added that the ancientHindu scriptures and theUpanishads have

alreadygivenusnecessarydirectionsastothepathanditsachievements.Butthetruth that is to be found by this definite scientific method is eternal, asacknowledged by the ancient sages, and needs to be testified to by livingwitnessesfromtimetotime.Itisthesesageswhohavetaughtusthereasonableassumptionandthelogical

conclusionthatonlyalivingteachercanteachustheUpanishadictruth,nottheUpanishads themselves, because they are justwords and littlemore,while thelivingteacherisanincarnationofthetruthweseek.MouniSadhu,thewriterofthebookInDaysofGreatPeace,publishedinits

non-EnglisheditionsunderthetitleOnthePathofSriRamanaMaharshi,seemsto have fulfilled all these conditions as far as it is humanly possible. As anearnest seeker he pursued several methods of God realization as taught byvarious schools of Yoga, occultism and mysticism and finally came to hissupremeMaster andGuru,Bhagavan Sri RamanaMaharshiwho, finding himwellequippedwiththenecessaryqualificationsenumeratedabove,grantedhimHis Grace, eradicated his ego-sense (as reported by the author himself) andfinallyhelpedandguidedhimtodiscoverhisowneternalandever-abidingSelf.Fromourpointofviewthereare twokindsofrationalfaith in therealityof

spirituallife.

1.Anindirectfaithwhichwehavetohavefromtheexperiencesandverdictsofsuchdauntlessseekersaftertruthashadthecourage,enduranceandironwilltostrugglethroughthethornypathofself-realizationandwhosewords,accordingtotheirantecedentandpersonalintegrity,havetobetrusted.

2.Faithdrawnfromdirectexperience—athingwhichnoonecanpossiblydoubtordeny.

MouniSadhu’sbookservesasapreciousevidenceofindirectfaithwhichwehavecloselyandcorrectlytoinvestigateandascertainforourselves.Thecarefuland punctilious author has committed his inexpressible inner experiences towritingasfaithfully,accuratelyandhumanlyaspossible.Itislefttousnowtomakeuseofit,tothelimitofwhichwearecapable.Actuatedbythesenseofselflessserviceandhisdesiretosharewithothershis

experiences and convictions, as a result of his direct knowledge, he hasembodied his thoughts and feelings in the form of this fascinating, altogetherinspiringandhighlyinstructivebook.Theearnestreaderswillfindinitsperusalnot only evidence of one who has crossed the shore of illusory Samsara but

enoughfoodforthoughtandinspiration.

DR.M.HAFIZSYED

June,1953

INTRODUCTIONTOSECONDEDITION

Thefirsteditionof thisbookwaspublishedinOctober,1952underthetitleInDays of Great Peace … Diary Leaves from India. Following the advice ofnumerous friendly opinions andmany favourable reviews by experts in IndiaandtheWest,ithasbeendecidedtomaketherevisedversionslightlylongerbysomeadditionalchaptersbasedonmyolddiaryandtochangethesub-title.Inexpressingmyownexperiencesithasseemedbesttouseassimpleaform

aspossible,avoidingtechnicalitiesandclassicalYogicterms,whichmighttendtoconfusethestudentifheisnotacquaintedwiththem.Inconveyingspiritualmatters, it is necessary to avoid overburdening the mind, for it distracts theattention,andthemainmessageisnotabsorbed.Aswell as thewords of SriMaharshi spoken inmy presence, I have used

quotations from the published teachings of the Sage, whichwere revised andacknowledgedbyhim.Theyare:

Self-Realisation.LifeandTeachingsofSriRamanaMaharshibyB.V.NarasimhaSwami,3rd.ed.,1936

MahaYogaby‘Who’,3rded.,1947Maharshi’sGospel,4thed.,1946FiveHymnstoSriArunachalabySriMaharshi,3rded.,1946SpiritualInstructionandWhoAmI?,twosmallbookscompiledfromtheteachingsoftheSagegiveninwritingtohisearlydisciplesbetween1900and1902.

Since SriMaharshi passed away from the body on 14thApril, 1950, some‘new’ interpretations and quotations of his sayings have appeared in bookswrittenbyformer inmatesof theAshram.Theymaybecorrect,but Iprefer tolimitmyself to the above-mentionedworks approved by theMaster himself. Ihave given the reader an account of what I myself experienced, taking fullresponsibilityfortheaccuracyofwhatIhavewritten.TheteachingsoftheSage,passingthroughtheconsciousnessofeachstudent,

must vary in accordancewith each one’s development, zeal and practice. Theteaching itself is so simple that therecannotbeanygreatvariation in itsmaintheme,butindividualinterpretationscandifferonunessentialpoints.ThetruestinterpretationisthatwhicharisesintheheartofthepupilunderthegraceoftheMaster.

True realization does not come from any mental study of the letter of theteaching, neither is a man drawn to attempt the ‘Direct Path’ because of theaccuracyofanybiographyoftheRishi.AtthebeginningofthiscenturyaWesternMastersaid:‘Onewholeavesthis

earth spiritually blind, will remain so after death’. That is to say, the fact ofleavingthebodydoesnot,ofitself,bringspiritualenlightenment.SriMaharshioftenemphasizedourneed toattempt toexperienceRealizationhereandnow,and no spiritualMaster ever contradicts another: Saints and Yogis realize theurgencyofthematter,anddonotpostponeittosomefuture,unknownstate.SinceRealizationisnothingmorethantheraisingofourconsciousnesstothe

level of reality-spirit-self, which means transcending the so-called ‘normal’consciousnessofthebrain-mindorego,theremustinevitablyoccursomeformsof superconsciousness or—Samadhi. These ecstatic experiences are necessarybeforethefinalperennial,orSahajaSamadhi,canbeattained.IntheWest,somecalltheseSamadhis‘initiations’.WhenSriMaharshiwasaskedwhyhedidnotpassthroughthese‘initiations’

inhislife,butalmostimmediatelyreachedSahajaSamadhi,herepliedthatonewho has reached the summit—must have passed through all the previousinitiationsinapastlife.Sowemayacceptthefactthatthesespiritualexperiencesarenecessarybefore

wecanreachthestateofthe‘Liberated’,theRishi,theJivanMukta—orsimply,theMaster.Thetermsaresynonymous.So each of us must experience this eventually, but at the lowest level the

accounts differ, according to individual differences. But the knowledge thatothershaveknown them is in itself encouraging toprospective studentsof thetruthofSelf.Andthisistheonlyreasonfortheappearanceofthisbook.Whenitisasked

‘Whatgaveyoutheseexperiences?’theonlyanswerwhichcanbeexpressedinwordsis this—‘Theabsolutecertaintythat thepathexists, that thegoalcanbereachedandthattheMasteralonecanleadustoit’.Itwasalsoasked‘Whathappenstoadiscipleafterwards,whenheisseparated

fromtheMaster’sphysicalform?’All I can say is that the connectionwith theMaster is never severed. In a

mysteriouswayheleadshisfollowersforever.Somefoundthat theirprogresswasfasterafterheleftthebody,thanwhentheywereabletositinhisphysicalpresence.TheMasterblesses theseedwhichhesows inus,and timedoes therest, in

accordancewiththepupil’sworthinessofHisGrace.Herewefindthereasonforanapparentlystrangefact, that theMasteroften

sendshispupilsout into theworld,awayfromtheAshram, that theirprogressmaybecompletedoutside.After being raised in the hot-house, the plantmust continue to grow in the

outerair.Butthesunwhichshinesonitisstillthesame.IamextendingmycordialthankstoMissNonaD.LucasofMelbourneandto

Mr.GeraldJ.YorkeofLondon,whoseinvaluableco-operationhashelpedmetoimprovethetextofthepresentedition.

MOUNISADHU

June,1955

INTRODUCTIONTOFIRSTEDITION

MyvisittooneofthelastgreatRishis(sages)ofIndia—knownduringthesepastfortyyearsasSriRamanaMaharshi—wasplannedfouryearsago.Butthepost-warconditionswerenotfavourabletoforeigntravel,especiallyifonehadtousesearoutesandnotthespeedyairways.YetIreachedtheAshramintime.InspiteoftheseriousillnessoftheSage—

everyonerealizingthathewouldsoonhavetoleavethisworldinwhichhehadlivedforoverseventyyears—itwasaseasy toapproachhim,andeven toaskquestionsasbefore.Buton thewhole,visitorswerenot soanxious toputquestions to thegreat

manas tobe inhis immediatepresence.The teachingsofMaharshihavebeenexpounded by himself in several short works and many others have beencarefully annotated and published by his disciples. Hence his teachings wereavailable for study and were usually read by people before coming to theAshram.Tohearwhattheyalreadyknewwasnotthechiefdesireofthosewhocamefromsomanydifferentpartsoftheworld.It was the presence of the holy man that attracted, like an invisible and

powerfulmagnet,thosewhowerefortunateenoughtohavebeenshownthewaytohimbythedecreesofprovidence.

*Thisdiaryhasbeenwrittensporadically.Isimplytriedtomakenotesinshort

hastysentencesonscrapsofpaper,inmanycasesneithertitlingnorevendatingthem,fortimesomehowseemedtohaveceasedtoexistinthisstrangecornerofthe world. I simply wrote down, without any plan, my spiritual experiences,moods,andstatesofmindastheycamedaybydaywhenIwassittingatthefeetofMaharshi.I brought frommy previouswanderings ‘in search of truth’ a good deal of

mentalballastintheformofvarioustheoriesofoccultismandfragmentsoftheteachingsofotherMasters.Thatiswhy,whenItriedtoexpressinwordsthenewinnerand transcendentalexperienceswhich Ihad in thepresenceofMaharshi,theytook,inspiteofmyself,theshapeofcertainready-madementalmouldsofideasandevensentences.Nohumanwordscaneverexpress thatwhichwecallTruth,Spirit,orGod.

Yetthosewhohavetroddenthepathofsearchbeforeushaveleftsometracesoftheir experiences in the sacred scriptures of all the religions of theworld.Wefind in themwords of such power and beauty that any attempt to seek better

forms for That which is formless is vain and futile. The words of the greatteachersandguidesofhumanityarestreamsofpowerandlight.Nowonderthateverybeingwhofindshimselfinthepresenceofoneofthementers,asitwerealmostunconsciously,intothisstream.Oftenaftermeditation inMaharshi’spresence,shortclassicalsentences, like

spiritualaxioms,camespontaneouslytomymemory.Someofthosewhichwereusedas‘Mottoes’formydiary,havebeenmadeintothesub-titlesofchaptersinthisbook,astometheyweresomuchmoresignificantthanmeredates.

*Ihavenottriedtowritedownanyofthe‘teachings’ofMaharshi,astheycan

befoundinmanybooks.Mypurposeistorecordthatwhichthelatterdonotyetcontain,namely, the realexperiencesofanaverageman,whowanted toknowforhimselfwhatthepresenceofagreatSagemeansandwhatitsinfluenceis.Ihad read so many descriptions by pupils who were clever in classifying thequalities and teachings of theirMasters, that I should have known, at least intheory,whatmaybeexpectedinthepresenceofoneofThem.Butalltheories,all acquired knowledge, falls into dust when one stands face to face with aperfectman.TheybecomeassuperfluousasthecomplicatedwesterndresswithitscollarandtieinthemercilessheatofthispartofIndia.AmongthemanypupilsofMaharshi,nowscatteredallovertheworld,Indians

are the most numerous.Why is obvious. For so many years, they have beennearertothelight;theyhavehadthebestopportunitiesofgettingintotouchwiththe Sage and of understanding his teachings. Many among them are reallyadvanced.Many have had lofty and important spiritual experiences.But theseour brethren—IndianYogis—donot like to talk, still less towrite, about theirhighestflights;insteadtheyprefertodiscussthepathswhichguidemantothesemysticalexperiences.Theyundoubtedlyhavegoodreasonsforsuchanattitude.Firstofall,theybelievethatanythingtheycouldpossiblysayhasalreadybeensaidbytheMaster,andthatnoonecandoitbetter thanhe.Andnext, IndianshaveunlimitedconfidenceinthedecreesoftheMostHigh.TheyfirmlybelievethatHisisthefullresponsibilityforHiscreation.Holdingsuchaview,theydonotfeelanyurgetoworkfortheupliftingandimprovementofthisworld.TheWesterner,ontheotherhand,hasaninnateurgetosharehisowndiscoveriesandexperienceswithothers,ifhefeelsthatsuchmaybeofsomeusetothem.Sohewrites.IthinkthatbothIndiansaswellasWesternersaretoacertainextentrightin

their respective points of view; only the tasks and ‘missions’ of both aredifferent.

CONTENTS

FOREWORDINTRODUCTIONTOSECONDEDITIONINTRODUCTIONTOFIRSTEDITION

I‘AssociationwiththeSages…IITheFirstMeetingIIILifeinMaharshi’sAshramIVTearsV‘TheGloryoftheLordisManifestedinHisSaints’VITheManSriMaharshiVIIAWishFulfilledVIIILoveIXMyPathtoMaharshiX‘Asbymixturewithwater…’XIWithintheAshramXIITeachingsofMaharshiXIIITheDirectPathXIVTheTechniqueofVicharaXV‘Martha,Martha,thouartcareful…’XVITheLastPhotographsoftheMasterXVIIOneOperationMoreXVIIIVisitingCavesXIXArunachalabyDayXX‘TheI-Current’XXITheTomboftheMuslimSaintXXIIInSirAurobindo’sAshramXXIIITheDarshanResumedXXIVInitiationsXXVAMusicalPerformanceintheTempleHallXXVIApartfromtheMindXXVIIStrayLeavesXXVIIITheEyesofMaharshiXXIX‘Aspergesmehyssopo…’XXXArunachalabyNightXXXIGodXXXIISomeRemembrances

XXXIIIPowerinUsXXXIVCorrespondenceXXXVIandYouXXXVIRequiemXXXVIITheLastDaysXXXVIIIMyNewConceptionofLifeXXXIX‘SeekyefirsttheKingdomofGod…’

XLWhatisMeditation?XLITechniquesofMeditationXLIIDepartureXLIIIFarewellXLIVColomboXLVOntheOceanXLVITheLightisShiningXLVIISamadhiXLVIIITheLastMessageXLIXEpilogue

LAppendix—MatterforMeditation

ILLUSTRATIONS

ITheMasterIIAgroupofinmatesoftheRamanashramIIIMaharshi’sattendantswithyouthsIVMaharshi’slastmonthsVMouniSadhuVIEntrancetothelastabodeofSriMaharshiVIITheMaster’sMaha-Samadhi

PLATEITheMaster

CHAPTERI

‘AssociationwiththeSages…’

‘AssociationwiththeSageswhohaverealizedtheTruthremovesmaterialattachments;ontheseattachments being removed the attachments of themind are quite destroyed. Those forwhomattachmentsof themindare thusdestroyed,becomeonewithThatwhich is (ever)motionless.TheyattainLiberationwhileyetalive.Cherish(therefore)theassociationwithsuchSages’.

FromMaharshi’sTruthRevealed

Anotherversion:‘AssociationwiththeSageswhohaverealizedtheTruthcutsoffmaterialattachments,onthese

being dropped, the mental pre-dispositions—due to past Karma and present delusion—aredispelled. Peace in which the unattached ones remain is That which is ever unchanging andimmovable,itisJivanMuktiorLiberationhereandnow.SeekthereforetheassociationwithsuchliberatedBeings’.

Ramana Maharshi left this world six months after my departure from India.Thesewordswerealmosthislast:

‘They say I amdying.But I shall he heremore alive than ever.Where elsewouldIgo?’

Severalofhisdisciples, residing thousandsofmilesawayfromtheAshram,knewofhisdeathontheverysameday.Comparingthehourwiththetimewhenthis news was mystically communicated to them, one would say that it was‘broadcast’severalhoursbeforeMaharshi’sbodybreatheditslast.Letters took a week or more to come from India and elsewhere and they

showedthatnotruediscipleoftheMasterexperiencedanygriefordespair.Thesame spiritual atmosphere of a lucid wave of peace and light was felt in theheartsofthepupils,whetherabroadorintheAshramoftheSaint.

INDAYSOFGREATPEACE‘TheworldwithitsphysicalphenomenaisforourRealSelflikeadreamforthewakingman,

orlikeashadow.Isheconcernedwiththepassingdreamsoflastnight,orwiththeshadowcastbyhisbody?’

FromMaharshi’sSayings

‘NotoneoftheReligionsoftheworldhassucceededinspiritualizingandgivinghappinesstoHumanity. Yet each one has given Liberation—“Salvation”, in common language—to manyindividuals’.FromtheSayingsofthefamousIndianphilosopherSriAurobindo.

Thespiritualpowerofeverysaintandsageismostvividlyanddirectlyfeltbyhis contemporaries.With the passing of time what was a revelation becomes

only adeaddogma.Andwhenpeople canonize the saint andbuild temples tohim,theyenclosehimintheirnarrowwalls,whereinhisspiritissuffocatedandceases to be a vivifying and inspiring force. The followers of successivegenerationsquarrelabouteachandeverywordascribedtotheMaster.Theyfightforthe‘authenticityoftexts’.TheydoallbuttheoneimportantthingwhichwastaughtbytheGreatOne,namely—‘tobecomelikeuntoHim’.Yetnotalltheseedsfallonstonyground.Somegivearichharvest.Therein

lieshopefor thefutureoferringmankind.The livesofmen likeMaharshiaretheveryproofsofthistruth.Theyarelikemeteorswhichintheircoursebrightenthedarkestnight.Those who are able to perceive the path in this flash of light will

thenceforwardknowwhereitleads.

CHAPTERII

TheFirstMeeting

WhenIarrivedattheabodeofMaharshi,called‘Ramanashram’andjumpedoutfromthetwo-wheeledcartjustinfrontofthetemple,inspiteofthelatehour,butinaccordancewiththecustomoftheplace,IwastakenstraightintothepresenceoftheSage.Hewassittinginalargehall,nearoneofitswalls,apparentlyattheendofhis

meal.Therewereanumberofpeople—allIndians—sittinginrowsonthefloorbetweenthepillars.IwasledtowithinthreeorfouryardsofMaharshi,andmycompanion said a few words to him of which the name of the country fromwhichIcamewastheonlyoneIunderstood.TheSaintlifteduphishead,lookedatme,andmadeagesturewithhishandasifinvitingmetocomealittlenearer.I was struck by the softness and serenity of this movement, so simple anddignified that I immediately felt Iwas facingagreatman.Hisattitudewas sonatural that the newcomerdid not feel anywonder or shyness.All his criticalfaculty of thought and his curiosity dropped away. So I was unable to makeobservations or comparisons, although subconsciously I may have had thisintentionwhenpreviously imagining this firstmeeting.The imageof theSagewas in this very first moment vividly engraved on my mind, without anyqualifications, likeapicturecastonasensitivephoto-plate.Butasnothingcanbeconveyedwithoutwords,Iwilltrytodescribehisappearance.Maharshi,asIsawhim,wasathin,white-haired,verygraciousoldman;his

skinhad thecolourofold ivory;hismovementswereeasy, calmand soft;hiscountenancebreathedanaturalstateofinnerconcentrationwithouttheslightesteffortofwill.OrmayIsaythathehadreachedthatstagewhenwill-powernolonger needs to be used for overcoming any hindrance, or for achieving anypurpose?Forthesimplereasonthateverythinghasalreadybeenachieved.ItwasthefirstmanifestationoftheinvisibleradiancewhichIwitnessedevery

dayduringsubsequentmonths.JustnowasIamwritingthesewords,Iwonderhow it is that I have never forgotten even the smallest detail concerningMaharshi;itcanbeevokedinmybrainlikeapicture,onahiddensensitiveplateofwhoseveryexistenceIwasunaware.Amodest Indian supperwas served—a little rice, vegetables and fruit on a

bananaleaf.BythetimeIhadfinishedMaharshihadgone.AssoonasIfoundmyself in the small one-room cottage. prepared for me in the Ashram’scompound, I immediately fell asleep, being very tired after my whole day’sjourney.

CHAPTERIII

LifeinMaharshi’sAshram

ThenextdaywasoccupiedingettingacquaintedwiththeroutineoftheAshram;the hours ofmeditation in the presence of the Sage; the time ofmeals in thedining-hall,andsoon.I had to protect some foodstuffs,which I had broughtwithme, against the

ants.Theyquicklyfoundtheirwaytomysugarandbiscuitsandgatheredroundmytinsofhoney,althoughthesewerehermeticallysealed.Ihadalsotoarrangefordrinking-watertobebroughtfromthenearbytap.ThesimplewayoflifeintheAshramhelpsonetoconcentrateanddivedeep

intooneself;theveryatmosphere,chargedwiththethoughtsofsomanypeopleseekingtheirrealSelf,accordingtotheteachingsoftheMaster,turnsthemindinwardsandisfavourabletointrospection.Theinvisibleyetpowerfulinfluenceof the sacred hill of Arunachala also has its part in creating this peculiaratmosphere,butofthatIwillspeaklater.At7a.m.therewastheloudsoundofagongcallingustobreakfast.WhenI

reachedthedining-hall,Maharshiwasjustmountingthefewstepsleadingtoit.HewasaccompaniedbyseveralIndians,hispermanentattendants.Here,infulldaylight, I noticed for the first time, that the physical state of Maharshi wasreallyprecarious.Hewalkedwithdifficulty,ashisjointsandkneeswereaffectedby acute rheumatism. His left arm and elbow were bandaged because of amalignanttumour,whichhadbegunitsgrowthaboutsixmonthsearlierand,inspite of two operations, had continued to spread its devastatingwork, causingMaharshi’s death one year later. Sometimes his head shook slightly and thisincreased the impression of serious ill-health; the whole frame, once tall andpowerful,wasnowbentandweak.After reaching the hall,Maharshi took his place near thewall, opposite the

entrance.Hesatalone,whilefacinghimplantainleaveswerespreadonthefloorfor the rest of the residents. I occupied aplaceonhis right, about threeyardsaway,andthatspotremainedmineduringthewholeperiodofmystay.The Sage ate with his hand according to the general Indian custom. His

movements seemed to be automatic. I saw that he was quite aware of hissurroundingsandreactedinanormalwaytoallthephenomenaoftheoutwardworld,butIfeltcertainthathisrealSelfhadnothingtodowiththefunctionsandactionsofhisvisiblevehicle.AftersometimeIunderstoodthat,accordingtohisownteachings,thisphysicalplaneofexistencewaslikeadreamforhim.IalsounderstoodthatunlessIwereabletorealizeformyselfthisstateasregardsthe

outerworld,Icouldneverknowreality.The grasping of this truth is our first real step to getting rid of themind’s

fetters.During all our lives, themind constantly creates scores of purposelessthoughts.OneoftheEuropeandisciplesoftheSagerightlyremarked:‘Ourmindcreates itsownproblemsand then tries tosolve them,but itwill

neverfindafinalsolution,asthisdoesnotexistinitslimitedsphereofactivity’.There are three communal meals in the Ashram: lunch or dinner at about

11.30a.m.,supperat7.30p.m.andalsoteaat3.30p.m.fortheAshramguestsandoccasionalvisitors.One isgiven tea,coffee,orbyspecial requestmilk,aswas the casewithme.The dishes arewell prepared, but somevegetables andpastryhavemanycondimentsaddedandaretoohotfortheEuropeanpalate.ButIsoondiscoveredthatinthistropicalclimatethestrongerspicesaregoodandItook all the burning curries and sauces,with only a few exceptions, though Imust admit that theBrahminswho servedus, afternoticingwhat remainedonmyplantainleaf,ceasedservingmethehottestdishes.Maharshitookalittleofeverything.Attheendofthemeal,whenbuttermilk

was distributed, hemade a kind of roundwall of rice, leaving a space in themiddle for the liquid. When he had enough he stopped with a gesture theBrahminwhowasserving.Heneverleftasinglegrainofriceonhisleaf.ThisisregardedasadutybyeveryoneobeyingHinducustoms,whichdirecteachstepthe individual takes on the physical plane. In the beginning I could notunderstandthisseemingsubmissiontooutercustomsbyagreatSagewhoseesthewholeworldasanillusionofthemindanditsservants,thefivesenses.Butlater on, when in the presence ofMaharshi, my ownmind becamemore andmorequiet,morefittojudgerightly,andwhenallthehorizonsofthoughtwereclearer,thisdoubt,aswellasmanyothers,disappeared.During the firstweeksofmystay in theAshram,Maharshi’spent thewhole

day,with the exceptionof thehoursof sleepand food,under a smallbambooroofnearthelibrarybuilding,facingthedininghall.Hereclinedonabigstonecouchcoveredwithmats,cottonrugsandafewpillows.As soon as I saw the stone couch, the thought came to my mind, which

according to the oldEuropean habitmust judge everything by its appearance,thatMaharshi’srheumatismmayhavedevelopedfromsittingformanyyearsonstone. I did not realize that what may be true in colder countries need notnecessarilybesoinIndia,forafterwardsIfound,duringmynightwanderingsonthe sacred Hill Arunachala, that the big rocks where I sat were quite warmseveralhoursaftersunset,anddidnotbecomecoldthewholenightthrough.Hisdisciples andvisitors saton theconcrete floor facingMaharshi.For the

morning and evening meditations certain Sadhus, pupils of the Master, often

came from the caves of Arunachala. Every day the Vedas were recited andbefore the night meal holy hymns were chanted, often those composed byMaharshi himself in his younger days. Every fortnight one of the permanentresidents,alearnedBrahmin,sangamostbeautifulhymn;itwas,asIlearned,inpraiseofthe‘LordoftheUniverse’.Itwasfullofmelodicimplicationsandtheendingsofthewords,which,ofcourse,Ididnotunderstand,willforeverremaininmymemory,likesomanyotherthingsinthisabodeofpeace.Later, amidst the turmoil of worldly life, when I remembered Maharshi’s

words:‘ThinkaboutyourrealSelf’andunderstoodtheneedofdoingso,Ifoundthat thememory of thismelody, the sound of it inwardly heard, immediatelyestablishedharmonyinmyconsciousness.It tooksome timebefore Icouldadjustmyself to therhythmof theAshram

lifeandcouldinwardlyapproachMaharshi.AtfirstIhadtostrugglewithmentaldistrust, with the tendency to look for blemishes in the lives of those whosurroundedtheSage.Iwassimplywastingprecioustimeinavainfightwithmymentalwindmills.IwaslookingonMaharshifromthenarrowcitadeloftheego,ofmyownsmallpersonality.IwasawarethatIshouldnotdoso,thatIshouldstep out of my self into a broader path, and that only thus could I findenlightenment.Iwasgoingthroughatrialwellknowntooccultpsychologists.Themindmay

reason and discuss lofty matters, it may even be able to create works wherespiritualideasarewellexpoundedundertheinspirationoftheMaster.Butwhenthe real, the actual experience approaches, when one has to live what was socleverlyexpressed,ah!thenagapappears,ajarringnotesounds.Yetasdayspassed,theradianceemanatingfromtheSagewasslowlydoingits

invisiblework.AtfirstIwantedtohaveatalkwithhim,butIwasdisheartenedby the shallowness of what I tried to say. Then at last, intuition showed theproperway:‘Silence is the most powerful form of teaching transmitted fromMaster to

pupil. There is no word by which one can convey the important things, thedeepesttruths’.

FromMaharshi’sSayings

Ibegan to listen intently to thesilencesurrounding theMaster. Iunderstoodwhatahighdegreeofconcentration,ofthecontrolofthemovementofthoughts,is necessary to be able to open the door of themind to the subtle vibrationsconstantlyradiatedbyMaharshiandleadingonetohighinitiation.Ialsocametounderstandthatmypreviousexerciseswerenotofthebest;thatheretheywould

prove insufficient. At first it was rather depressing to see that all my formermethodshadtobere-examinedandchanged.I realized that the amount of knowledge I could find and assimilate here

dependeduponmyownattitudeandthatImyselfwasresponsibleforcatchingand using to the full this unique opportunity of being at Maharshi’s feet, anopportunitywhichwouldneveragainberepeated.Inotherwords,theamountoflightpenetrating intomybeingwoulddependdirectlyupontheopeningof thedoorsofmyconsciousness.In practice it was not at all easy to let go all my self-centred opinions, all

formsofcrystallizedbeliefs,comparisonsandprejudices.ManyofthesebeliefshadbeenregardedbymeasunshakableandnowIsawthattheywouldnotstandthefierytestofthepresenceofonewhohadrealizedthetruth.ComparisonwithsomeMastersofthepastwasespeciallyresponsibleformanymomentsofinnerconflict.What, I queried, is the role of Buddha, of Christ and of other greatMasterswhohaveshownHumanitysuchwonderfulpathstosalvation?Shouldwe not adhere to those who have given us such unmistakable signs of theirdivinity?Shouldwenotcontinuetowalkintheirholyfootsteps?Thereweremanyotherdoubtsandhesitations,butIdonotthinkitusefulto

repeathereallsuchmisconceivedideas.Theanswers tomydoubtscamequiteunexpectedlyandsimplyasdideverythinginthisstrangeabode.Iwastoldthatonce,whenaEuropeanRomanCatholiccoupleweresittingatMaharshi’sfeet,andprobablyunderthecharmoftheincomparablesanctityandsublimityoftheatmosphere,wereexpressingtheiremotionsintheformofprayerstraditionallymostfamiliartothem,theSageremarked:‘TheyhaveanotherMaster.Theypraytohim.But thismakesnodifference.

ThereisbutOne’.IhadreadmuchaboutMaharshibeforecomingtotheAshram.Iknewthathe

seesthecontentoftheinnerbeingofeverymanwhoapproacheshim,althoughhe never shows that he does so, or speaks about it. So this case was notsurprising to me. But I had also personally to experience this extraordinarypoweroftheMaster.Itwasessential,forwithoutacompletetrustintheMaster,withoutabeliefthathisconsciousnessisonewiththeAbsolute,aswellasonewiththatofhispupil,therealizationofself-knowledgeisimpossible.Asweekafterweek is spentnearhim, theshellof theseparatedpersonality

bursts and dissolves, I always feel this process when I am with him. Theimportant turning-point in my own life came on the day whenMaharshi hadmoved, according to the decision of theAshram ‘high command’ (his brotherand the staff administering the outer affairs of theAshram) to the hall of thenewly-built temple. It was built in purely Hindu style on the spot where his

motherwasburied in1922.Therewererumours thatat first,Maharshididnotwanttomove,sayinghewasquitecomfortableunderthelittlebambooroof.Butwhen his brother, the Superintendent of the Ashram and some of his staff,prostratedbeforetheSaint,imploringhimtoagree,heansweredthatitmatteredlittlewhereonestaysandyieldedtotheirentreaties.AbigcouchcarvedingraniteandcoveredwithembroideredIndianrugswas

awaitingtheSageinthehallofthetemplewhichwastobehislastabode.Thetemple,intheancienttraditionalHindustylewiththehappyadditionof

somemodern comforts, is built fromgrey granite,which has been beautifullycarved. With not too many sculptures or other ornamentation, with slendercolumns in themiddle, large windows andmany doors, withmodern electricfansandstrong fluorescent lamps, itmakesaverypleasant impression indeed.NearMaharshi’scouchstoodashelfwithbooks,asmalltableandaclock,andinfrontofhimwasanincense-holder,withIndianincensesticksburningalldaylong,andspreadingtheirfragrancethroughoutthehall.AtnoonMaharshiwastakenintothetemple-hallwithsomesolemnity,butI

wasnotpresent,asIhadleftafter themorningmeditation.WhenIreturnedintheafternoon,Ihadtofindaplaceformyselfinthisnewabode,andchoseonebythenearestcolumnfacingMaharshi,fromwhichIcouldalwayslookintohiseyes.Thehallwasdividedintotwoparts.Mensatontherightsideandwomenon

theleft.AsmallportablebarrierinfrontoftheSage’scouch,showedthelimitofapproachtothedevoteesandvisitors.Maharshiwassittingasusual,withlegscrossedinapostureofmeditationand

reclining on several pillows, his head slightly bent towards the shoulder. Onecouldseethatthepreviousceremonieshadtiredhisweakphysicalframe.Thisweaknesstroubledmeatfirst,ifonecanbetroubledatallinhispresence.Lateron I became accustomed to this sight. I also came to pay less attention to the‘visible’sideofthingsandthereforewaslessanxiousorconcernedaboutit.The recitation of theVedas began about 5.15 p.m. and lasted for forty-five

minutes.AfterthatMaharshiwentthroughhisletters,whichcamefromallpartsoftheworld,gaveahastyglanceatthenewspapers,andthenthesecretaryoftheAshram,aneducatedIndianwithalonggrayishbeard,aloinclothandapieceofwhitetowellingoverhisshouldersashisonlygarments,broughtapileoflettersforapprovalinanswertothepreviousday’smail.Maharshicarefullyreadthemall,puttingthembackintotheirrespectiveaddressedenvelopes.SometimestheSagemadea fewremarks,but thiswas rather rareand then the secretary tookbacksuchlettersforcorrectioninaccordancewithhissuggestions.Atlastalltheactivitiesofthedaycametoanendandtherewassilenceand

peace.

CHAPTERIV

Tears

WithsomeeffortofwillIimposecalmonmymind.Itdoesnotcreatethoughtsany more. Those which appear immediately vanish like small clouds in theIndian sky. I am gazing intently at the Saint, looking into his great widely-openeddarkeyes.And suddenly I begin to understand. How can I express in our earthly

languagewhatexactlyIdounderstand?HowshallItellinwords,basedonthecommon ideas and experiences of ordinary people who are creating andmouldingour language, thesehigher andmore subtle things?May I say that IunderstandthatMaharshi’slifeisnotconcentratedonthisourearthlyplane;thatitextendsfarbeyondourworld;thathecontemplatesadifferentandrealworld,aworldnotsubjecttostormsandchanges;thatheisatorchoflightbeforethethroneoftheMostHigh,sheddingitsraysallround;thatheisliketheincensesmokeconstantlyrisingtowardstheblueskywhichweseethroughthetempleroof;thathiseyes,justnowlookingatme,seemtoconvey—no,Iamunabletosayanythingmore,Icannoteventhink.I only feel a stream of tears uponmy face. They are abundant and serene.

Theyflowsilently.Itisnotsuffering,regret,orrepentancethatistheirsource.Ido not know how to name their cause. And through these tears I look at theMaster. He knows full well their origin. His serious, almost solemn face,expressesendlessunderstandingandfriendshipandglowswithinnerlightwhichmakes it so different from all other human faces. In the light of his profoundgaze I suddenlyunderstand the reasonandpurposeofmy tears.Yes, I ‘see’atlast.Thesuddenilluminationistoostrongtoallowimmediatebeliefinthetruthofthe‘seen’.Is‘this’reallypossible?CanitbepossibleeButMaharshi’seyesseemtobringaconfirmationof‘it’.I can only say that there aremoments of inner experience so important, so

fraught with consequences, that they may influence not only one but manyincarnations.Therearestainswhichhavetobewashedoutbeforemorelightcanbeseen.Nowaterfromanearthlyvesselcanwashthemout,canpurifythesoul.Itmaybethattheonlyvesselwhichcanservethispurposeistheheart,theonly‘water’astreamoftears.

PLATEIIAgroupofinmatesoftheRamanashram

PLATEIIIMaharshi’sattendantswithyouths

‘Peacethatpassethallhumanunderstanding’.Similar meditations continue for a few more days, and are followed by

anotherstage.Tearsgivewaytoaninnerquietudeandafeelingofinexpressible,indescribable happiness. This inner mood is independent of any outwardcondition.Neitherthepainofthelimbs,whichisoftenannoyingwhenonehasbeen sitting for several hours in the sameposition, nor the troublesome,blackmosquitoes,northetryingheat,candisturbthis innerpeace.Thisstatelastsaslong as I do not allow the mind to create new thoughts. But as soon as the

concentration ceases, peace also vanishes. And once more the world with itsproblemsstepsin,worries,anxieties,expectations,appearagain.But once we have discovered the secret of this experience, the door to its

repetition is opened. We can recover it at will. I am quite aware that theassistanceoftheMasterisamostimportantfactorinthesefirstglimpsesofthesupramental consciousness. I do not think he is definitely and activelyintervening,buthispresence,hisconstantradiationspontaneouslybringsaboutthiseffect.I look at the people gathered in the temple hall. Brahmins and outcastes,

Europeans and Americans, men and women, the old, the young and smallchildren. All are happy here at the feet of the Saint. Everyone feels thishappinessaccordingtohisowncapacityanddegreeofreceptivity.The learnedBrahminmay think thatbybeingherehe isnearer to liberation

fromthewheelofbirthsanddeaths.TheblackDravidianfarmertruststhatthecropsonhis small rice fieldwillbe richerafterhisvisit to theAshram topayhomageatthefeetoftheRishi.AnAmericanmayhopetofindsalvationandtheblissofSamadhi:andanartiste,aformerfilm-starfromNorthIndia,beautifulinher silver-grey sari, may already feel herself to be in ‘Svarga’, the Hinduparadise.And to me it seems that the thick mist covering the horizon is slowly

becominglessdense,thatthedayisnearingwhennothingwillstandanymorebetween me and reality. I also see in these moments the tremendous amountoflabour ahead of me. I see that I am short of so many of the necessaryqualifications.But thissightdoesnotbringdepressionas itusuallydidbefore.Theexperiencedpeacebeingoutoftime,thequestion‘when’and‘how’doesnotarise.I rememberMaharshi’s words in answer to a similar question. I read them

latelyandtheyseemtoconfirmmyfeeling.‘TheRealSelf isall, it isomnipresent,hencealwayswithus.To live in it is

Realization’.

CHAPTERV

‘TheGloryoftheLordisManifestedinHisSaints’

Today I have carefullywatchedMaharshiwhen hewas’ officiating’ or, as theHindus say—‘givingDarshan’,whichmeans he is visible for all to see. Frommorning tillnoonandfrom3.30p.m. tilleveninghesits in the templehall,orunder the bamboo roof near the library, surrounded by a group of pupils andresidentsoftheAshram,andbyacrowdofvisitorsandpilgrims.Hespeaksverylittleandcaseswherehedirectlyaddressesanyonearerareindeed.His face is full of inspiration, unearthly serenity and power, of infinite

kindnessandunderstanding.Bigdarkeyesseemtolookintotheinfinite,abovethe heads of all present, without appearing to concentrate on anyone inparticular, andyetpenetrating to thedeepest recessesof each individualheart.Thiscanbefeltasonelooksintothem.AnditisreallydifficultnottoplungeourgazeintothoseeyeswhenwearenearMaharshi.Hereignsinsilenceoverthisvariedcrowd,beingafocusforsomanydifferenthumanfeelings.Thewaysofourthoughtarebeingchangedhere;newideasenterthefieldof

ourconsciousness.Theatmosphereofutterpurityandpeaceconstantlyradiatedby theSagecompels eachoneofus to examineandverify, as itwere, all ourbeliefsandopinions;yetitcomesbyitselfspontaneously,withoutanyeffortonour part; it is not imposed, it is simply the result of a sudden enlargement ofconsciousness.Thisinnerprocessisaccompaniedbyasenseofgreathappiness.It isnotpassivityof themind,‘dolcefarniente’as theItalianssay—notatall;thisstateisourbirthright,asitwere,earnedbyalongpracticeofconcentrationand purification of themind from all the rubbish of worldly thoughts. In thepresenceofMaharshi this process becomes free andnatural. It ceases to be alabourandatoil,aneffortwithoutanycertaintyofsuccessasitsooftenis.Icomeout foramoment frommymeditation to lookat theMaster. Iknow

that in a second I shall be able to return to itwith thegreatest ease, plungingagain into the same inner world. Maharshi is sitting as before with his headslightlybentoveroneshoulder,withhisimmobilegazefixedinthevastbeyond.The electric lights havebeen switchedon, andwomen,whohave to leave thehallat6p.m.,havealready left.Onlyaboutadozenpeople remainwhoeverynighttakepartinthemostmystic,invisible‘worship’performedbyMaharshiatthis hour of the day. This word ‘worship’ may not be either a strict or anadequateexpression,butforamoment,Icannotfindabetterone,andIdonotwanttoseekforwordslaboriously;thesensitivereaderwillunderstand,andtothosewhoareunabletograspthesethings,eventhemostsuitablewordswillbe

ofnoavail.I suddenly realize that these are the last months of Maharshi’s service to

humanityinthis,hishumanform.Thedaysofhislifeinthisbodymaybereallyfew,inspiteofthefactthatsomeofhisdevoteesarestillhopingforamiracle.Ihear there will be one more operation. Personally, I am unable to await any‘miracle’.Theglow, the reflection,of the realwhich I see through theMasterilluminesthemind.Itseesmoreclearlynowandperhapsisnearertotruth.IfanythinghappensaccordingtothehighestwillofThatwhichestablishesthe

laws of existence, out of which we are able to see only effects, it would besenselesstohopeforthatsamewilltocontradictitself.IfthelastsacrificeoftheSainthastakentheformofanincurabledisease,accordingtolawsknowntous,whichalwaysleadinanappropriatetimetothedeathofthephysicalbody,howthen can it happen that His will be resisted? It would be a contradiction,impossibletoadmit,evenforthelimitedhumanmind.HenceIpersonallyhavenoconsolationinthishopefora‘miracle’.ButIhave

anotherone,namely,thatIdonotbelieveatallinthe‘departure’oftheMaster.AlthoughIhavenotbyanymeansyetwonmylastbattlewithMatter,orratherwithits illusion,andprobablymywaytothisvictoryisstill long,Ialreadydonotbelieveintherealexistenceoftheenemy.Ifhewererealtherecouldbenopath,nopossibilityofvictoryatall,as—therealcannotbeoverthrown.FormeMaharshiwillneverdepart.Itwasnotwithoutadefinitepurpose,that

it has been given to us,who are now surrounding theSage, to be born in thesametimewithhimandtohavetheprivilegeofseeingthelightheshedsupontheworld,Irememberhisownwordsspokentoapupilonthismatter.A wave of endless bliss surges through and overwhelms me. It carries me

beyondthought,beyondsufferingandgrief;neitherdeathnorchangeexistthere,onlyinfinitebeing.Timedisappears—thereisnoneedofitanymore.Idonotknowhowlongthiswaveoflightreignedwithinme.AtlastIfeltI

shouldlook—throughmyclosedeyelids—attheMaster.And—withoutopeningmy eyes—I ‘see’ or rather know that the Saint has fixed his immovable gazeuponme.Thatisthekeytomyexperience.

CHAPTERVI

TheManSriMaharshi

Maharshiwasbornon31stDecember,1879,inavillagenearMadurainSouthIndia.HewasnamedVenkataraman;hebelongedtoarespectedbutnotaffluentBrahmin family, his father being a pleader. He and his elder brother wereeducatedatthelocalHighSchool;atsixteenhewaspreparingformatriculationatMadrasUniversity.Uptothattimetherewasnothingtomakeanyonesuspectthataspiritualgeniuswashereinembryo.Venkataramanwasabeautifulhealthyboy,lovingsportandphysicalexercise,butnotoverkeenonstudy.Therewasalegend in his family that, from every generation, one of its sonswould leavehomeanddiscardtheworldlylife.Theonlyspiritualbookswhichhadmadeanimpressionon theboywere theLife ofKabir, anddescriptionsof the lives ofsixty-threeSaintsofShiva’scult.Maharshilatersaidthatwhenhereadthelatter,astrangedesirearoseinhim,ayearningtobeoneofthoseSaints.Finally,whenlisteningtohisunclespeakingaboutpilgrimagetoArunachala,aholyhillsomehundred miles fromMadura, the very word ‘Arunachala’ struck a responsivechordintheheartoftheyouth.HeaskedhisuncletotellhimaboutthisMountArunachala.Sometimelater,hehadanextraordinaryexperience.Suddenly,whilealonein

his room, a terrible fear and realization of death overcame him. The youngVenkataraman,inperfecthealthandwithoutanyoutwardsuffering,feltthathislast hour had come. His reaction was entirely different fromwhat one wouldexpect.Hecalledfornohelp,nordidheseekadoctor,butquietlylaydownonthefloor,sayingtohimself:‘Deathiscomingtome,butdeathofwhat.Mybodyis already lyingwithoutmovement, it is becoming cold and stiff, but “I”,myconsciousness,isnotaffectedatall.“I”amthereforeindependentofthisdyingform.“I”amnot thisbody’.Aftersometimelifecamebackto thecorpse-likebody,butitsdwellerwaschanged.HisexperiencebroughttohimtheconvictionoftheindependenceofhisrealSelffromthetemporaryformfalselycalled‘I’.Shortly after this he left Madura, giving no indication of his destination,

leavingonlyanoteforhisfamilyaskingthemnottoworryandnottoseekhim,as he assured them he was embarking on a virtuous enterprise. Taking onlyenough money to pay part of his fare, he travelled by train and on foot toTiruvannamalai, the nearest township toMountArunachala.He then stayed atthe numerous temples and shrines in the neighbourhood, cutting his hair anddiscarding his Brahmin clothes as a sign of his renunciation of the world.Nobodyknewhim;hesatfordaysunconsciousofhisbody, immersedindeep

Samadhi,andatfirst, thenewspiritualawakeningbroughtcompleteneglectofhisouterpersonality.Hungry and emaciated, eating only the scraps of food brought to him by

visitors who took pity on the young ascetic, and speaking no word in hisobservance of the silence (mouna), the futureGreat Rishi spent long years ofextremelystrenuouslifeatthefootofthesacredArunachala.Thefameoftheboygrew.Nowfoodwasofferedtohiminplenty,buthetook

only what was needed to keep alight the flame of his physical life. Hisspiritualitywassuchthatnooneofanyperceptioncouldcomenearhimwithoutrecognizinghisuniquequality.ThencamethefirstdisciplesinthepersonsofvariousSwamisanddevotees.

InthoseyearsofcompleteSilenceheleftushisfirstwrittenteachings,addressedto some faithful attendantswhowanted to have his instructions. In extremelyconcentratedformtheyoungSagegavehis teaching to theworld in twosmallbooksentitled—WhoAmI?andSpiritualInstruction.This phase of strictly ascetic life in caves on the sacred hill ofArunachala

endedattherepeatedentreatiesofhisattendants,andhetookuphisabodeinasmallshelterinaclearinginthejungleatthefootofthehill.In themeantime hismother and his only living younger brother, the future

superintendent of theAshram, foundhim andbeggedhim to return home.Herefused,butwhenhismotherlostthehousewherehewasborn,andhad.noonetosupportherageingyears,heagreed toher livingat theAshram.She lookedafter the cooking for him, his attendants and visitors, and became his pupil.UnderhisguidanceitisbelievedthatsheattainedSamadhi.AnewperiodoflifebeganfortheSage.Fromnearandfarcamepilgrimsand

devoteeswhohadheardof theunique spiritualityofMaharshi.Thenamewasfirstbestowedonhimbyalearnedpandit—GanapatiSastri—whosatathisfeet,plyinghimwithquestions.Fromtheanswersgiven, itwas recognized that theyoungSaintwasofthehighestrank,knowninIndiaasGreatRishis,or‘seers’.After the publication of a book by Narasimha Swami, about the life andteachings of Maharshi, and after A Search in Secret India by Paul Bruntonappeared inLondon, anuninterrupted flowof visitors fromall over theworldbegan.Talkswithhimbypilgrimsfromalloverthecountry,andhisanswerstotheir

problems, became famous. Eminent intellectuals from theWest also sat at hisfeet, and some of their reminiscences have appeared in At the Foot ofArunachala,publishedathisfiftyyearsjubilee.His brother had taken over the management of the Ashram’s affairs,

administering themwith great ability. ButMaharshi never cared for temporal

and evanescent things. All his earthly possessions were a bamboo stick, awoodenbowlforwater(kamandalu)andaloin-cloth.Besides the previously mentioned two small books, Maharshi wrote some

hymns with commentaries, in Sanskrit, Tamil and Telugu. These have beentranslatedintoEnglish,somewithforewordsbyeminentEnglishwriters.ThroughouthislifetheGreatRishiwasalwaysaccessibletoanyvisitor.Inhis

presence no distinction was given to caste, so rigidly followed in India.BrahminssatwithPariahs,MoslemsandWesterners.ThevisiblepresenceoftheSpirit-in-Manunitedthetroubledworldathisfeet.Hewassupreme,farabovealllevelsofhumanunderstanding.Thatintangibleatmosphereofspiritualpeacedissolvedalldoubtsinhispresence.Thewritercametohimintheverylastperiodofhisearthlylife,andbelieves

this tobethemostgloriousperiodofall.Asthesunsinksinablazeofsunsetglory, so Maharshi’s last years reflected the indescribable beauty of hismanifestation.I saw theman, as he showed the victory of spirit overmatter.His physical

suffering, lasting formore than a year,was a crucifixion inmy eyes.For himtherewasnoalleviationinhospital,althoughhissicknesswasdeadly.Healwaysgave the permanentDarshan—for our sakes.He always sat before us, and nomovement or complaint ever showed the depth of his suffering. He took noanaesthetics. He wanted no cure. Knowing all that could be expected of hisphysical body, his thoughtwas always for us,whowent to him to seek relieffromour own sufferings, and to none did he refuse his blessing.His spiritualalchemytransmutedthehardmaterialismofourheartsintosomethingpureandnoble.In thegloryofhispresence,we learned to live ineternity, to rememberour

lostinheritanceofspiritandbliss.SometimeswhenIsatnearhimabsorbingtheinvisibleradiationsofHislight,Imeditated:towhomandwhencanIrepaythisbliss?Whoisitthatistakingawaytheburdensanddebtsofmylife?Hehasnosin,hasneverperformedanevildeed.Butwhatisthereaboutme,aboutallofuswhoaregathered together at his feet, seeking solace andpower to endureourpettydiscomforts?Hisbody,whichhascommittednosin,issufferingagonyinourpresence,whoarehealthyinspiteofourguilt.Themysteriousvoiceasks:‘AreyoureadytoacceptresponsibilityforThat?’

The soundless answer is: ‘Yes, if you will always be with me’. And theconvictionariseswithinthatheis,andwillbeforever.

CHAPTERVII

AWishFulfilled

Manyyearsago,undertheskyofafar-offcountryinEurope,inthethirdyearofthe terrible conflagration of the First World War, a young man in militaryuniformwas sitting on the platform of a small railway stationwaiting for histrain.Itwastotakehimtothefrontline,wherethefireofbattlewasthenraging,a fire fromwhich somany never returned.Compelled by the stormofwar toleavehisfamilyandhisstudies,hesattherebroodingoverthefateawaitinghiminafewdays.ItwasthebeginningofAutumn,aseasonwhenthedarknightskiesareoften

cut by the fiery lines of ‘failing stars’, or meteors. He remembered a currentbeliefthat‘awishspontaneouslyexpressedintheverysecondwhensuchastarfallsisalwaysfulfilled.’Unconsciously, he was looking into the sky with a strange expectation.

Suddenlyabright red lineappearedamong theglowingstars.Theheartof theyoungmanwhisperedtheoneword—‘Love’.Many years passed. This moment of the ‘failing star’ vanished completely

fromhismemory.Thedeepwishoftheheartwasutterlyforgotteninthefeverandbustleofworldlylife.Theyoungdreamer,nowamatureman,wentthroughall the experiences of normal life: he had friends; he loved, as he believed,women; he revered those whom he regarded as his superiors. But eachexperiencebroughthimadisappointment.Attheendofeachonehesawthatnotyet had he found true love, which would give him the fullness that wasunconsciously his constant longing. He felt in every ‘love’ a jarring note, ahiddendoubt,asmallflaw.Hencehewasneverabletogivetoanyonewithoutreservationsuchadepthofaffectionandloveinthemidstofwhichhecouldnotdreamofastillgreateranddeeperone.Asoundlessyetpowerfulvoicewasalwayswhisperinginhisheart:‘Itisnot

that,noryetisitthis’.Butatthesametime,inmomentsofpeace,hewascertainthat somewhere, beyond a stormy sea and a cloudy sky there is amysteriousland, where ‘the sun of bliss never sets, where the eternal waves are surgingwithoutmovementontheshoresoftheIslandcalledfulfilment’.

CHAPTERVIII

Love

‘Inmyunlovingselfthoudidstcreateapassionforthee,thereforeforsakemenot,Oh,RamanaArunachalz!’

ParaphraseofMaharshi’sHymn

Thirtyyearslaterinfar-offIndia,apilgrimwassittingunderthebambooroofofanAshram,intheancientplacecalledTiruvannamalai.Itwasthesamemanwhoinhisyouthlookedonedarknightintothenorthernsky,waitingforfallingstars,toask themabouthis future fate.Manyyearshadpassed.Manyconditionsoflifehadchanged,aswellasmanyboundariesofStates.Somehadfallendown,whileotherhadbeennewlycreatedinthetremendousupheavalofthetwogreatwars.Yet,inspiteofsufferinganddevastationtheworldhadnotsolvedanyofits chief problems, had not understood any of the causes of these two terriblecalamities.Thenightmareofanewcatastrophewashangingoverthedwellersofthisunhappyplanet,whichaccordingtoHindusacredbooks,ispassingthroughthe‘Kali-Yuga’or,thedarkperiodofdeepestimmersioninmatter.But nothing of all this was felt inMaharshi’s Ashram. An utterly different

atmosphere reigned here—no brutal, coarse, or violent element of the outerworldhadanyaccesstoit.Theformeryoungdreamerwasnowsittingatthefeetofandfacetofacewith

abeingwhohadsolvedallhumanproblems.Hewaslookingbackonallthepastyearsofhislife,tryingtodohisfinalaccounts.Hewasexaminingthemeaningofhisgoal,weighingthevalueofhispreviousexperiences.Andnewvistaswerejust opening before him. The shadows of old attachments and ‘loves’ wererapidlypassingbeforehiseyesandvanishingforever,beingunabletowithstandthe fiery testof thesilentpresenceof theMaster.Howridiculousnowseemedhis former efforts to find a ‘harmony’ in surroundingswhere human purposesweresodiametricallydifferentfromhisown; in themidstofclashesofselfishinterests and tendencies, andof ruthless attempts to exploitothers forhisownpurposeandpleasure.The tragic comedy of earthly love now appeared in all its unattractive

nakednessbeforethetribunalofhisconsciousness.From the other side, a new visionwas entering the temple of his soul, just

vacated by the impostors, a luminous ideal, incorruptible, pure, devoid of anystain of selfishness, resplendent with spiritual beauty, and independent of allephemeralphysical forms.Herewasnomorepossibilityofdisappointment,offriction,andofmisunderstanding.

It is only now that the pilgrim understands the meaning of his own wish,whose fulfilmentwaspromised in thespringtideofhis life,by the fallingstar.Heaccepted thispromisewithout reservation, knowing that its realizationwastheturningpointofhislife.Hesawmoreclearlythatthenewpathledintotheinfinite.Butnowtherewasnomorefear.Infinityislife,andallthatisfiniteisintherealmofdeath.

*Maharshihasastrangepowertoawakenloveforhimselfintheheartsofall;

this devotion uplifts his pupils, incalculably raising the level of their lives,enablingthemtotouchthepurestformofthispower-energythatisperhapsthecreatorof theuniverse.Loveanddevotionfor theSainthavenoneof theuglyqualitiesofanordinarylove,likejealousy,possessiveness,exclusiveness,fallingunderthespellofouterappearances,uncertaintyanddelusiveness,andlast,butnotleast,thepainofseparationfromtheobjectoflove.Herethelover-devotionfortheMasterdoesnotaskforanythinginreturn.Itasksonlyforthegraceofutterly giving oneself to him, to enter into unity with the perfect and all-pervadingobject.One who realizes the true greatness of the Sage understands, that he must

discardhispersonalityandhenceforthmakeitnomorethebasisofhisexistence.Hehastotranscendtheboundariesofthemental-emotionalself,ifhewantstoachieve union with, the object of his love, and these words mean somethingutterlydifferentfromthesenseusuallyattributedtothem.Hecanknowtherealbeauty of theMaster only by entering the kingdomof theMaster’s Self.Thatwhichweseeofhimonthephysicalplaneisamereshadowofhimashereallyis. But thosewho have been in his presence know how powerful is even thisreflection.Therewasone tragicevening in theAshram.ThestateofMaharshi’shealth

wassuddenlyworseandonecouldnoticeatfirstglanceagreattirednessinhisfaceandaweaknessofthewholebody.DuringtheusualrecitationoftheVedashis head was helplessly sinking lower and lower, although now and again hetried,withavisibleeffort;toresumethehabitualmeditativeposture.Justbefore6p.m.whenthetemplehallwasalmostempty,exceptforasmallgroupofhisnearest attendants and pupils, we suddenly saw big stains of blood on thebandage enveloping his arm and even on thewhite pillows supporting it. Theyoung Indian attendantswere terrified.One ran to the doctor residing nearby,whowasinthehabitofdressingthewoundeverydayinthesmalldispensaryoftheAshram.Deadsilencefellonall.Someofthewomenwept;thefacesofthemenwere

seriousanddeeplyworried.ButMaharshihimselfseemedutterlyindifferent to

allthis.Helookeduponhisarmwithastrangeexpressionasifhewerequietlycontemplatingathingquiteforeignto,orwithoutanyconnectionwith,himself.Thenwith his unique soft gesture, showing the stained pillow almost as if hewouldliketobegustoexcusehimforthetrouble,hesmiled.Thatwasall.Whatwas felt by the people round him as the icy breath of death, had made noimpressiononhim.Allofuswhowerethensittingathisfeetwereunitedinthesamespontaneous

impulse,andunderstoodeachotherperfectlyinthistragicmoment,withouttheneedofwordsorevenglances.EachoneofuswouldgladlyhavegivenallhisbloodinexchangeforthatwhichtheMasterhadlost,ifitcouldonlydelaytheimminentcatastrophe.The doctor came, out of breath; he was a short elderly Indian gentleman,

lookingsomewhatlikeaMalayan.Hebegandressingthearm,biddingMaharshitoleavethehallearlierinviewofthishappening,whichwastoproveaturnfortheworseinhiscondition.ButtheSaintrefusedwithhistypicalkindgesture.Helooked on the people gathered round and once more a marvellous smileillumined his face.Onewould say that hewished to compensate for the griefseeninourhearts,whichwewerequitecertain,wereopentohisgaze.Ihaveneverseen,andundoubtedlyshallneversee,onanyotherface,suchan

inexpressiblywonderfulsmileasMaharshi’s.Aspotlesspurity,loveforall,anda wise understanding òf our imperfections and shortcomings, all this and farmore, was contained in his smile, something which no words can convey. Atranscendentbeauty!reflectedinphysicalform?Onlythosewhohaveseenitwillunderstand.Ipondered:suchanoceanoflove,suchapowerofadorationdirectedtowards

theSage,couldtheynothavesomeweightbeforeprovidencesomewhattodelaythetragichappening;tragicofcourse,onlyforus.AtthatverymomentIinstinctivelyliftedupmyhead.Ifoundtheanswerdeep

intheeyesoftheSaint,andsilencewasrestoredinmyheartasIbreathed:‘OLord,justareallthydoings’.

*TodayIreadapassagewhichthrowsmuchlightonthemysteriousillnessof

Maharshi,soincomprehensibletohisdevotees:‘Whentheaveragepersonsuffersforhisfellowman,hecallsitcompassion.A

famous contemporary Yogi—Sri Yogananda Paramahamsa, describes it as“metaphysically induced illness”. For two years before his death, Yoganandasufferedfromthistypeofillnessandaccordingtohisdisciples,itwastheresultof“workingout”inhisownbodysomeofthephysicalandspiritualburdensofhis friends and disciples. In his Autobiography, Yogananda explains this

phenomenon as follows: “The metaphysical method of physical transfer ofdisease isknown tohighly advancedYogis.A strongmancanassist aweakeronebyhelpingtocarryhisheavyload;aspiritual,supermanisabletominimizehis disciples’ physical or mental burdens by sharing the Karma of their pastactions.Justasarichmanlosessomemoneywhenhepaysoffalargedebtforhisprodigalson,whoisthussavedfromthedireconsequencesofhisownfolly,so a Master willingly sacrifices a portion of his bodily wealth to lighten themiseryofhisdisciples’.

CHAPTERIX

MyPathtoMaharshi

Itisusuallyabadplantorevivethepastwhereittouchesone’spersonality;butin reviewingmypresentDiary,aquestionarose: ‘Before ImetMaharshi,whydidIconsiderallmypreviousexperiencesinoccultismtobefailures?’At25yearsofage,Theosophyattractedmyattention.Itssmoothandlogical

theoriespleasedmyreason,asdidtheimpeccablestyleofMrs.BesantandMr.Leadbeater. For some time I corresponded with both. Then the honesty andidealismofthefirstPresidentoftheT.S.—Col.Olcott—andthemysteriousandpowerful personality of Madame Blavatsky, could not be disregarded. Apartfrom theories, therewere also hints for developing the superphysical facultieslatent in us. I began practising concentration andmeditation according to thethennewlypublishedbookbyErnestWood.Aftersomeyearsofratherfruitlesseffortsmyenthusiasmbegantodiminish.Theexercisesmentioneddidnotproveveryeffective.AmongTheosophistsIcouldnotfindmenwhoreallyknewandcould give me advice apart from printed books. Their Masters were notaccessible,andseemedtoberather likeamyth.ItappearedthatonlyMadameBlavatsky and Col. Olcott had had the privilege of meeting them in physicalform.Onmyinquirylatein1926,Mrs.Besantwrotetome:‘ItistruethatafterthedeathofCol.Olcottin1907,theMasterswithdrewtheirdirectguidanceoftheT.S.,butrecentlyin1925,theyresumedthatguidance’.At first the development of the superphysical faculties was interesting: it

excited my curiosity. Afterwards I found that, being based on the changingphysicalbeing,theyweresubjecttothecurrentsofthemindandsowereablindalley—awayfromthesupremegoal.Then came studies in Hermeticism which is based on an ancient Egyptian

tradition,andusesthesymbolismoftheTarotasoneofitsmainfeatures.Beingmathematicallyminded, the relationship and connection between numbers andtheTarot cards engagedmyattention.EliphasLevi andDr.Papus temporarilybecamemyintellectualmasters.Ibecameengrossedinacumbersomeprocessofcreatingnewthoughtsand ideasbyworkingwithapackofTarotcards. Iheldmeetingsinpublicwiththemembersofdifferentoccultsocieties.Itdelightedmeto see the attentive facesofmy listeners apparently followingmyconceptionsandcalculationswith thehelpofdrawingson the largeblackboardbehindmychair.Then another step—the nextmeetingwas devoted to the ancientKabbalah.

WhenIhadfinished,theblackboardwascoveredwithHebrewletters,mystical

trianglesanddrawings.Thelectureendedinloudapplause.IntheaudienceIsawafriend—aretiredgeneral.Hewasthenpresidentofa

metaphysical society and amost kind-heartedman.He said tome afterwards:‘Your lecturesarevery interestingand thehall isalwaysfull.Thefact that thepublic obviously does not understand even ten per cent of the matter isapparentlynohindrancetothesuccessoftheexposition’.Thesewordsgavememuchfoodforthought,andasaresult,Istoppedpubliclecturing.Irealizedthatninety-nine per cent of the people came only to hear about somethingmysterious,fromwhichtheyhopedtoaddsomesavourtotheirlives.My activities with Hermetic occultism came to an end after performing a

magicalritualaslaiddownbyEliphasLeviandDr.Papus.Threeofuspreparedourselvesfortwenty-onedays.Fortheoperationwechoseatowerofanalmostruinedcastleinaremotearea.Theresultswerepoorinproportiontothelabourand time sacrificed. We succeeded, it is true, in obtaining some apparitions(spiritsorelementals) in thesmokeof incenseandofspecialdriedplants;alsosomeaudiblephenomenaandeffectsofperfume.But Iwasdisappointed.Theresultscouldnotpossiblybetestedscientificallyandgavenogroundfordefiniteconclusions.Even thevery impressions received,appeareddifferent toeachofus.GraduallyIgaveupthewholebusinessofceremonialmagic.My next study was of a very interesting book by Dr. Brandler Pracht, a

German occultist. Hismethodwas definite and clear.He recommendedmanyvaluableexercisesleadingtothecontrolofthoughts,andinconsequenceofthewholepersonality.Theiraimwastheacquiringofpowerandability:

1.Toconcentratethemindupononlyonethingwithoutdeviationorgaps.2.Deliberatelytostopthewholeprocessofthinkingfortenminutesatatime.

There were, of course, many other instructions which cannot be describedhere.Strangelyenoughheexpectedonetoreachthegradeofa‘youngmaster’inaboutsixmonths.However,Ispentmuchmoretimethanthatinordertoobtainbothkindsofconcentrationforonlythreeminutes.TheperiodofHermeticism,magicandDr.BrandlerPracht,wasbehindme.I

visited France. In Paris was the headquarters of the Association of SpiritualFriendships(AmitiésSpirituelles)ofFrance,foundedbyPaulSedir,fortwentyyearswell known as an occultist andmystic.Hismostmysterious book—TheInitiations—madeagoodimpressiononme.HewroteplainlyabouthisMaster,andlaterabouthispersonalexperienceswiththeso-called‘MasterofMasters’,theverynameofwhomheneverdaredtopronounce.Thisorganization,beingsemi-secret,advocatedthemostelevatedandpureideasthatIthenknew.Butat

thattime(1935)PaulSedirhadbeendeadforthirteenyears.IthereforesoughttheGreatMaster described by him, butwas unable tomeet him.Eventually IfoundsomeoldmemberswhoknewSedirandwhocouldpossiblyshowmethepath.Itwasahardtask,fortheWesternMasterspurposelyuseapolicydifferentfromtheirEasternBrothers.Theyprefertobeandremaincompletelyunknowntoallexcepttheirtruedisciples,andtheirinviolablestandardsareveryhigh.Itisextremelydifficulttobeallowedintothepresenceofthesegreatbeings,andthesilenceof secrecymustbe swornandobserved for life. I cannot therefore sayanythingmore.Therewasoneearlyexperiencewhichmaybeworthdescribing.Livinginour

townwas aBishopwhompeople described as a Saint.Hewas a true ascetic.Peopleofallcreedscametohimtoaskhisblessing,whichwassaidtobeveryeffective.Ihadtoleavemyuniversitystudiesandenlist,forthatwasduringthefirstworldwar,when Iwasnineteen.MymotherwasakeenTheosophist andhadfinereligiousfeelings.Butaswasnaturalatmyage,Iwasconcernedonlywithsportandstudy.Onedaymymothersaidtome:‘Myson,youaregoingtothewar. I do not know if theAlmightywill grantme grace to see you again.Tomorrow Iwant to takeyou toour.saintlyBishop.Hewillgiveyouhisholyblessing’.ReluctantasIwas,Icouldnotrefusemymother’swish.Sothenextafternoon

apriesttookusintoamodestroomwithonlyafewwoodenchairsandacrucifixon thewall.TheBishop entered. I sawa thinman inhis forties in the simpledressofamonk.Hishandswerejoinedonhisbreastandhisheadwassomewhatbent.Thestrangewax-likecomplexionofthethinfacewasframedbylongblackhairfallingtotheshoulders.WhenhecamecloserIcouldseehiseyes,dark,andfilledwithastrange,soft light.Theyweresodifferentfromthoseofanyotherhumanbeing, thatIwasstruckbytheirmysteriousexpressionofpeace,powerandwisdom.FortunatelyIrefrainedfrommakinganyconventionalgreeting.ItseemedasifIcouldnotspeak.ButtheBishopsmiledgentlyandsaidinalowvoice:‘Itisgoodyoungman,thatyoucamehere’.ThenheraisedhishandsovermyheadandmadeabroadsignoftheCross.Ispontaneouslykissedhismeagrehand. That was all. Leaving the room I could hear the words spoken to mymother,whowasstillbeforehim:‘Goinpeace.Everythingwillbewellwiththeboy’.AndIrememberedthismomentagainwhenIsatat thefeetofMaharshifor

the first time, soonaftermyarrivalat theAshram.Also I rememberedas inadream, that the christian name of the Bishop was the same as that of theunknownmasterwhomIhadtriedtomeetinParisyearslater.Soon aftermyvisit toFrance, family life, and later theSecondWorldWar,

broughtme to a period of darkness. I forgot allmy previous endeavours.Notearlierthanthespringof1945anelderlylady,withwhomIsometimesspokeofTheosophy, lent me Paul Brunton’s ‘A Search in Secret India’. She literallyforcedmetotakethebook,forIwasbynomeanseagertoreadit;butthelasttwochapters,wheretheauthordescribeshisvisittoMaharshi,weredecisive.AtlastIhadfoundmytrueMaster.Thiscertaintycameofitselfandpermittednodoubts.AndthenIrealizedwhy

allmyprevioussearchinghadbeeninvain.Theoccultwaysmentionedbeforewereonlyblindalleys.Theycouldgivemesomehelp,buttherewasnovisionofthetruegoal.Thereforeofnecessity,theywereunsuccessful.Theirexercises,concentrationsandbreathcontrolsabsorbedonly timeandenergy.TheyveiledtheaimwhichIcouldnotseeintheirshadows.OnthepathgivenbytheGreatRishithegoalisvisiblefromthefirststep.Itis

spiritualizationoftheman.Thepowerofthespiritisunlimited.NowitwascleartomewhytheVichara(selfinquiry)couldreplacethetime-devouringtrainingofoccult practices. All that I had previously been striving after—concentration,meditation,breathandbodycontrol,aclearvisionofreality,peaceandbliss—allofthemnowcameoftheirownaccord,asripefruitfallsfromatree.ThenIbegantoworkwithVicharaasdescribedlaterinChapterXIV.Thefirst

steps are always the most difficult. Now I can laugh over these difficultiesencountered when entering the Direct Path, but then it was almost an innerordeal.Andlittlewonder,forthewholeinnerworldofamanmustbechangedandhismindsubdued.ThetragedywasthatIknewthatitmustbedone,butdidnotthenknowto‘whom’myformer‘lord’—themind—hadtocapitulate.Therewasanemptiness inmewhen I tried toexclude the thinkingprocess frommyconsciousness.Thisemptinesswasnotpleasantand itevenbroughtsomefear.Thefeelingwassimilartothatofamountaineer,whoonenteringhigherregionsfeels that there is not enough air to breathe, and that he is suffocating. So IdecidedthatIneededbetterconditionsandmoreopportunityformeditationandVichara.I knew long before that ifwe think strongly for some days about a certain

thing,atacertain time,wefind thatour thoughts return to itat thesamehourandevenminute.Thishelps tomakeourmeditationeasier andmoreeffectiveandsparesusmucheffort. Idecidedtousethismeansandat thesametimetofindmorecongenialconditionsforstudy.Afriend inParis,aRomanCatholicpriest,awell-educatedandelderlyman

withwhomIsometimescorresponded,knewofmyendeavours,withoutinanywayattemptingtodissuademefromthem.IwrotetohimsayingthatIwantedtofindaplaceinwhichtoliveforsomemonths,wherequietmeditationwouldbe

possible.Hekindlyrecommendedhisownmonastery.Anyone,hesaid,whoisaRomanCatholicand feelsaneed for spiritualconcentrationcango there foratime, takepart inthesimplelifeof its inmatesandprofitaccordingtohisowninnercapacity.IntuitivelyIfeltthatthiswaswhatIwasseeking.InafewweeksIhadarrangedmyaffairs,wasbeingusheredintothepresence

ofthePriorandacceptedasatemporaryresident.Therewerenoobligationsonmy side and I told him frankly that I contemplated leaving Europe in a fewmonthsforacountryintheSouthernHemisphere.ButIwastoldthatFatherN.,myfriend,hadalreadygivenallparticularsaboutmyselfandthateverythingwasinorder.Iwasgivenapleasantroominthevastbuilding,whichwasamonasteryinthe

heartofParis.AnotherpriestvisitedmeandaskedwhatbooksIwould like toread.Verygentlyhesuggestedastudyof the ImitationofChristbyThomasaKempis.HewasimmenselypleasedwhenI toldhimthat itwas theverybookforwhichIwouldhaveasked.Incidentally,hehaditwithhiminthepocketofhiscassock.During the firstweeks Iwas left completely alone.According tomy plan I

entered into the simple life of themonastery, and found it appropriate formyaims.InthemorningbeforebreakfastIwenttothegalleryonthefirstfloorofthe chapel. It ran around the interior of the church and therewere chairs andmanysmallaltarswherepriestssaidmasseseverymorning.LaterIbegantovisitthisquiet andpeacefulplacewhenever Iwished tomeditate.Afterbreakfast Istudied inmy roomwhatever I had as a special programme for theday.AfterlunchIsometimeswentforawalk,visitingnumerousfamousplacesinthecity.Inaddition,Itriedtotrainmymind,toruleitinthemidstofthefeverishlife

ofthislargecity,andanexplanationofthemethodusedwillbefoundinChapterXIV.SometimesasdawnbrokeIwouldstillbesittingonmychairinthehalf-dark

galleryofthechapel,mergedinmeditation.Oneofthepriests,amemberofthemonasterystaff,seeingmesittingforlonghourswithoutmovement,oncevisitedmeinmyroomandaskedifsuchlongandobviouslyintensemeditationsmightnot impairmyhealth.Ourbodyisafragileinstrument,saidthegoodoldman,and if we injure it, our capacity to serve the Lord is diminished.Of course IassuredhimthatIknewwhatIwasdoingandhowmuchmybodycouldstand,butthankedhimsincerelyforhisconcernonmybehalf.I visited all the various departments of this great community, which is

separatedfromtheoutsideworldbyhighwalls.Ispokewithcooksandservants,withgardenersandtailors.AllwereBrothersoftheOrderandeveryonehadhiswork. In the morning they assisted the priests at mass, and during the day

interruptedtheirlaboursatfixedtimesforshortprayers.Theyweremostlysimplemen,devoutandfriendly,andhadspenttheirlives

sinceyouth there.Sometimes theywere transferred toothermonasteries in thecountry. They accepted everything without question. Then I understood themeaningof‘renunciationofone’sownwill’anditsplaceinspiritualprogress.Itwas but another form of extinguishing the old enemy, the so-called ego. Thisformandmethod is thebest for simple and less educatedpeople, fromwhoserankscomemostoftheBrothersoftheseCatholicreligiousorders.WhenIaskedthemwhichtheypreferred—prayersorworkforthecommunity

—theytoldmesimplythattheirworkwasonlyanotherformofprayer.Threeyearslater,wheninIndia,Iwasgivenapamphletwrittenbyafamous

IndianSaintandYogi,ahighlyeducatedmanwhohashisownAshramin theHimalayas.Thetitlewas:Workisworship.DedicateittoGod.’NowIcouldunderstandtheunseentiesthatbindallhumansstrivingforthe

Highest.Itdawnedonmehere,inoneofthespiritualcentresoftheWest,whyIfeltnodisharmony, in followingapathbasedonEasternmethods, ina templeconsecrated to another great teacher, for whom I had always felt the deepestadmirationandlove.AboutthistimeIcameincontactwiththeheadoftheRamakrishnaMission

in Paris, the eminent Swami S., whom the Ashram of Sri Maharshi hadrecommendedmetovisit.Hewasalwaysverybusy,butwhenhewasshownmyletterfromTiruvannamalai,heimmediatelygavemeaninterview.During our talk, he said: ‘SriMaharshi is your spiritualMaster, yourGuru.

Askhimforhelp—itwillbegranted toyou’.Also,pointing to thewayoutofsomeinnerdifficultiesIhadconfessedtohim,hegavemeashortmantrawhichwouldputmeintouchwiththeGreatRishi,whomofcourse,Ihadnotyetseen.Itwastherepetitionof’Om,Ramana,Om’.

*MonthspassedandmyVicharawasfirmlyestablished,butitwasnotyetthe

livingvitalVicharatransformingthewholeman,whichitlaterbecameinSouthAmerica. But even this had no comparison with the light which illumined itwhenIwasinthepresenceoftheMasterMaharshihimself.AndsoIsaythatthegreatbeingwhogaveusthiswonderfultool,inaformappropriatetoourepoch—the SelfInquiry or Vichara—becomes our beloved Master and Lord of ourlives.He has alreadymerged in the infinite ocean of life, which is the universal

reality,thespiritandpurebeing.What else could be the ultimate destiny of us all, of you andme,who are

reallyrivuletsseekingthesameocean—oureternalhomeofbliss?

CHAPTERX

‘AsbyMixturewithWater…’

‘Asbymixturewithwaterandbyfriction,sandal-woodemitsanexcellentodour, removingallbadsmells;sodivineaspirationbecomesmanifestwhenexternaldesireiswashedaway’.

FromSriSankaracharya’sViveka-Chudamani

Today duringmeditation I remembered thesewords of Sri Sankaracharya, thegreatestphilosopherandspiritualteacherinIndiaforthelast2,000years.Themodifications inmy consciousness are now so swift and imperceptible

that themind isunable to register themas they takeplace. I couldnotedownonlyafewofthemostimportantimmediatelyaftertheyoccurred.Oneofthem,probably the most significant, was this: although I cannot yet stay incontemplation thewhole day long—this is obvious—yet I return to itwithoutany effort as soon as I hear any ofMaharshi’s words, read something of hiswritings,oreventhoseofanyotherMasterwhodealswiththespirituallife.Tillnowitischieflycasual,butIknowthatsoonIshallbeabletoenterthisstateatwill.Oncethepathisopen,onecannotforgetnordesertit.InthepresenceoftheSaint themind is tuned-up to silence, and does not dare to indulge in endlessquestioningasitusedtodo.Thisblindegoisticelementlosesitspowerandcharminthepresenceofone

whoprevailsoveritanddiscoversitstruesource.Maharshisaysclearly:‘Themindisconstitutedbythoughts.Stopthinkingandshowmethenwhere

isthemind?’Experience proves, that after discarding all thoughts from what we call

‘mind’, nothing remains. But life does not stop there, as unfortunately, manypeople are apt tobelieve.On the contrary, itmanifests itselfwithmorepowerandintensity,although, it is true,farmoresubtly.Iwellremember those timeswhenIcouldnotimaginethatonecouldexistwithoutthinking.Maharshisays:‘Themost importantway to improve themind is to stop thinking.Thinking

andthinkingisthecauseoftheheatedbrain’.Whatisthepracticaldifficultyinachievingthiscontrol?Itliesinthefactthat,

foruntrainedpeople,theveryprocessofthinkinghasinitselfacharmnoteasytoovercome.The constant inward use of Maharshi’s question: ‘Who am I’ (called also

‘Inquiry’, inSanscrit ‘Vichara’) quiets the rebelliousmind.One also sees thatthe acceptance of the axiom: ‘No one has ever been able to discover truth bythinking,nortoarriveatanydefinitediscoveryinthespiritualrealmthroughtheactivityofthemind’,destroystheveryinterest intheprocessofthoughtitself.

Andwhenourinterestweakens,wearenotfarfromvictory.Themorewe become independent of ourmind, compelling it to silence at

will, thebetter the servant it becomes, and themoreuseful the services it canrendertousinitsownsphereofaction.Manyignorantpeople,whentheyhearaboutthenecessityof‘transcendingthemind’oreven‘killingit’, imaginethatsuch an action would result in a kind of dullness or stupor, rendering oneincapable of solving the ordinary problems of life on the physical plane. Butremember:‘Themindisagoodservant,butacruelmaster’.It seems that ‘to transcend the limits of the mind’, which in practice, is

tantamounttothetransferofconsciousnesstothetranscendentspirituallevel,isnot possible for each and everyone. Onemay hear about the process and themethodsofapplyingit,butmaynotnecessarilyunderstand,stilllessbeinclinedtofollowthehintsgiven.Ihavemetmanypeople,quiteintelligentintheusualsenseoftheword,whowereutterlyincapableofimaginingsuchapossibility,orofgrasping,evenintheory,theproblemitself;justaswecannotperceiveultra-violetrays.Alltheirlifewasconcentratedonthephysicalplane,andonitalonecouldtheyseetheirpurpose.Theveryconceptionofotherpossibilities,wasforthemnon-existent.Ofcoursetheseproblems,aswellasthepresentbook,arenotmeantforthistypeofperson.

*AnelderlyBrahminwhoissittingnearmeisrecitingthe‘Gayatri’,themost

ancientMantraoftheAryanrace,forhimaformulaofdailymeditation.Ienterthecurrentandmentallyrepeatwithhim:‘LetusmeditateuponthegloryoftheONEwhocreatedthisuniverse.Lethim

illumineourminds’.

CHAPTERXI

WithintheAshram

It isadelicate task towriteaboutpeoplestill living.Therefore thispartofmydiarywillbelimitedtogeneralobservations.DuringmyownstayattheAshram,amongWesterners represented, there were three Americans, two ladies and agentleman; anEnglishmanwhohad been living in the compound for fourteenyears;anEnglishladywhocamesoonaftermyarrival;alsosomeFrenchpeople,a Jew, two Poles and a German. With few exceptions my time was fullyoccupiedwithmyownproblemsandwithMaharshi.Ididnotwishtoenteranysociallife.ThemainmeetingplacewasthehalloftheAshram,andnaturallythetemplewhereMaharshispentmostofhistimegivingDarshan.AmongtheIndiansthemostinterestingtomeweretheSwamis,thedevotees

by‘profession’.Somewereintelligentandreallydevotedmen.IntheeveningIwould see some of them sitting at the nearby shrines, giving instruction topeasantsfromthetownandsurroundingvillages.Onthestonealtarstherewerelights burning, arid the Swamis sat on the steps, reciting holy scriptures andsinginghymns.TherewasaMuslimscientist,professorofanIndianUniversity,withwhomI

hadmanychats.Thepostmasterof theAshramwasonewithwhomIalsohadmany friendly talks.His childlikeandkindattitudeappealed tome, asdidhislimitlessdevotiontohisgreatcountryman,ourbelovedBhagavan.Iwasafraidmycorrespondencewasgivinghimmuchtrouble,butheperformedhisdutiesaspostmanwithabilityandgoodwill.ScoresofBrahminsandintelligentsiafromallpartsofIndiakeptupasteady

flowofvisitorstoTiruvannamalai.RepresentativesofhighIndiancircles,RajasandMaharajaswiththeirfamilieswerealsofrequentguests.SomehadEuropeanwivesinbeautifulandexpensivesaris.ThePrinceshaveaseparatehostelsomehundred yards from the compound.They offer costly gifts to theAshram andhavecontributedgreatlytoitsconstruction.There is no distinction made between the classes of Indian society in

Maharshi’s presence, but the staff provide places for Indian Princes nearMaharshi.astheycomeonlyforoneortwodays.TheAshramhasawell-organizedbook-shopfilledwithitspublications.But

allthesethingsareminordetailsandlackvitalinterestforme.TheMasteristhesunandallelserevolvesroundhim.

CHAPTERXII

TeachingsofMaharshi

It is strange that we are compelled to recognize two apparently contradictoryfacts.The teachings of theGreatRishi of India are substantially as old as thefirsttracesofphilosophicthoughtandyettheyopenupanewworldofspiritualachievement.On thedoorsof the, ancient initiation templesofGreecewas an inscription

‘GnothiSeauton’—‘KnowThyself’.Plato repeated ‘Knowyourself andyouwillknow theworldand theGods’.

TheSelf-InquiryofMaharshi—themysteriousVichara—saysthesame.Itisthekeystone of his message for the modern world. We wonder wherein lies thepowerof thatmessage, if thefacthasbeenknownfor thousandsofyears.Thesolutionisintheanswertoanotherquestion:WhogaveustheteachingandWhen?Maharshi is a contemporarySage, and he is himself the living proof of the

truthhebroughtfromhisownrealmofspiritualexperience.HediscoveredtheVicharawhenheknewnothingaboutreligiousphilosophy.Asaboyofsixteen,mergedinthetranscendentalstateofSamadhi,hereachedrealizationoftheSelf—theultimatetruth—withoutaid.Therewasnodoubtoftruthforhim,becausehehimselfbecamethattruth.The writer and poet, Grant Duff (Douglas Ainslie) in his account of’ The

Greatest Event inMy Life’ in theGolden Jubilee Souvenir (published by theRamanasramaminTiruvannamalai),tellsofthestrikingeffectfeltwhenhefirstsawSriMaharshi.Hewrote:‘IsawMaharshiforthefirsttime,butthemomenthelookedatmeIfelthewastheTruthandtheLight’.ThisexperiencewasbynomeansexclusivetoMr.GrantDuff.Manyothers

have felt it with an irresistible certainty of the soul. Therein lies the greatestmysteryofthetruerealizationofGod—truth.ForthenamanbecomesonewithHim.Andatthesametimeanothermiraclehappens—thatmanisthenclosesttoallothermen.Itisdifficulttoexpressthesublime.IspokewiththeMasteronlythreetimes,

andoneachoccasiononly fora fewminutes.Nomorewasnecessary.Speechwastooclumsyandinadequate.Inmylasttalkwithhim(seechapter‘Farewell’)thereaderwillfindthatIintuitivelykeptsilent.WhenGandhi sent Sri Rajendra Prasad, the present President of the Indian

Republic to ask SriMaharshi for amessage, the latter said:’Ofwhat use arewordswhentheheartspeakstotheheart?’Andthemessengerwentbacktohis

Master,MahatmaGandhi,satisfiedwiththeansweroftheGreatRişhi.SotheSelf-Inquiry—‘WhoAmI?’—wasalwaysthebasisofalltheteachings

ofMaharshi. He told us that while putting the inquiry to ourselves, wemustclearlyrealizethatourbodilysensesandmindareimpermanentandconditioned,and should be excluded from the realm of the real. Then that which remainsunaffectedbythemwillbetheSelf.BytheconstantandfirmuseoftheVicharawecometothesilence.Duringhis

long lifeon this earthMaharshi gavemanycommentariesonhis teachings, inreply to questions put to him by innumerable visitors and disciples. They arewritten down in several books published by the Ashram. One of them, theincomparableMahaYoga (’TheGreatYoga’),containsall theessentialsofhissayings classified in appropriate form by an eminent disciple. This book isindispensable to every earnest student of Maharshi’s message. It is not mypurposehere toquote fromit. Ifyoustudy ityouwillunderstand themessageandthegreatnessofMaharshi.Awriter’susefulnessandpower toconvinceaboutspiritualmattersdepends

on the mood and intuition with which he writes.We can express our mentalconceptions,ourproblemsandtheories.Theyarethechildrenofouroutermind,andtheywillbecoldandstillbornunlessbreatheduponbytheinnerreality.In an initiatory booklet by H. P. Blavatsky—The Voice of theSilence—we

read:Formindislikeamirror;itgathersdustwhileitreflects’.And so, in a spiritual search, the role of themind is aminor one. “Writing

withtheoutermindonly,wetrytogathersuitablewordsandchooseideasthatare to go on paper. That is themind’swork. Thenwe remain for ever in therealmoftheunreal,andtheultimatetruthwillbeveiledindefinitelytous.Maharshi taught us to use a different process: to refer to a higher level of

consciousness,whereall imperfectionsof the ‘mirror’ are transcended.That isthe realmof the trueSelf,of theOver-Self.Writing from that levelwedonotchooseour ideasorwords.Theycomeby intuition,alreadychosenas itwere.An educatedBrahmin reading these lineswould smile and say: ‘DearMouni,why do you not say what you mean, and call it simply the Buddhicconsciousness?’ But this will convey nothing to a reader not conversant withIndianclassicalterms.TheSageofArunachalaalsogaveusanothergreatinjunction,thatweshould

strivenowtoattaininthislifethatlevelofconsciousnesswhichtranscendsthe‘normal’. For then we attain a consciousness which will endure for ever,independent of the death of the body. This state frees us from all fears anduncertainties.Thisisthat‘pearlofgreatprice’,that‘treasure’worthanytoiltodiscover,that‘goodpart’whichshallnotbetakenfromus.

Maharshi did not occupy himself with theories. A famous saying of his is:‘Thereisnoreincarnation;thereisnoIshwara(personalgod);thereisnothing;youhaveonlytobe’.Thisistheultimatetruthforthosewhoattainthehighestconception of unconditioned being. This plane can be attained because heattained it. Ibelieve that theverypurposeofagreatbeingwhocomes foroursaketothisearthisnotsomuchtogiveusa‘newteaching’(if‘newteachings’everexist), as togiveanexampleofattainment, fulfilling the teachingsof thesacredbooksandpouringnewlifeintothem.Such is the purpose of theMaha-Yoga, confirmed over and over again by

Maharshihimself.Thedifferent religionsof theworldaredesigned for theaverageman.They

givesrulesofconductforagoodlife,promisingheavenafterwardsasareward.Theyaregoodintheirownfield.Thelawsofcauseandeffectaretrue.Theyarenaturallaws.Generatinggoodduringourdifferentformsofexistence,wecreatepropitiousconditionsforourfurtherprogress.Butonceweseethegloriousgoalofourexistence,otherpettyaimslosetheirattraction,andwegraduallybecomeincapableofdoingevil; for evil lies in the realmofour ephemeral and sense-conditioned ego,whichMaharshi calls ‘a hybrid arising between the trueSelfandthebody’.Anotherteachingonwhichhelaidgreatstressisthatthereisnosuchthingas

theevolutionofspiritorof theSelfHisconceptionismuchmorerealisticandfull of common sense. He says the real Self is ever present in us; only theshroudsofmatterveilit.Allthatwehavetodoistoremovetheillusion(Maya)andtheSelfwilllightupinus;thereisnoneedtoseekitelsewhere.Fromwhathasbeensaidaboveitmaybetakenforgrantedthattheteachings

of theGreatRishiwillnotbeacceptable toeveryone.Mankindup toacertainstagewillalwayspreferlivingintherealmofmatterandthesenses.Wecannotmake a child instantaneously grow into an adult, nor can we pour a quart ofwater into a pint pot. In due course the childwill grow.What is essential forthosesoulswhoareadvancedenoughistotakeadvantageofthepresenceoftheMessenger. He gathers them around Him during His physical life, and helpsthemtotakethelaststepstowardsrealization.Before closing this chapter I would like to quote one more important

statementofmyMaster:‘YourownSelf-Realization is thegreatest formofserviceyoucanrender to

theWorld’.Sodonotworry if youcannot feedall thehungry and thepoor.Theyhave

theirowndestiny,orasourIndianfriendssay,theirownKarma.Beablessingandaboontoeveryoneandeverythingthatyouencounterinthislife,butdonot

gooutofyourPathtoseekanyspecialactivity,foritmayentangleyouinthisworldofunreality,andyouwouldthenforgetthegoal.Before you have attained realization it is always uncertain whether your

activityisreallysound.Thereis,however,onemethodofavoidingmistakesinyouractions.Itis,astheMastersays,whenyouactwithoutegotism—thatis—whenyoudonotbelieveanymorethatyoudothework.ThisattitudeiscalledbytheauthorofMahaYogatheEgolessstateofconsciousness.‘HavefaithinGodandinyourself;thatwillcureall.Hopeforthebest,expect

thebest,toilforthebestandeverythingwillcomerightforyouintheend’.FromMaharshi’sSayings.

Grantme,OhLord,equalitytowardsall,universalloveandassociationwiththespiritualMaster.

CHAPTERXIII

TheDirectPath

Fromwhat has already been said, it can be seen that theGreat Rishi—unlikemost yogis and many saints of the present day—does not recommend yogicpractices as a condition for the highest and perennial spiritual achievement,calledbyhim‘self-realization’.Hedismissesfromthataim,allthecumbersomepostures, breathing exercises, control of the pranic currents (currents of thePranainthehumanbodyandsoofNatureitself),andsoon.Infact,heseldomevenmentionstheminhistalks.SotheDirectPathtospiritualattainment,asshownbytheMaharshi,doesnot

require any unnatural body postures, often so difficult to perform for themajorityofpeople;noneoftheeffortsofHatha-Yoga,whichcanbedangerousunless practised under the direct supervision of a competent teacher, and noartificialmentalpracticesofconcentration.Allsuchthingsleadnowhereunlessaccompaniedby theelementsofspiritualenlightenment,afactwhich is firmlyunderlinedbySriSankaracharyainhis‘VivekaChudamani’(‘TheCrestJewelofWisdom’).NowI seeclearly that these thingsbelong toaclosedandbewitchedcircle.

ForyearsIandsomeofmyclosestoccultfriendspractisedmanykindsof‘outer-yogas’ (I have coined this word to distinguish them from theMaha Yoga orDirectPath),butwithoutanyresultsworthyofourefforts.Ofcourse,someofthese exercises were good for our physical health, especially for stilling thenerves, cultivating a beautiful voice, and so forth. But these advantages onlyremainedwithusaslongaswecontinuedregularlytoperformtheexercises.Apauseforevenafewweeksdeprivedusofall thehard-earnedbenefitswehadgainedatthecostofsucheffortandwasteoftime.Notrueandpermanentpeaceofmindcouldbeobtained,althoughforthatpurposeImadeintenseuseofJapa(repetition) with the best of mantras. Just as Paul Sedir, the eminent Frenchoccultist and writer who was later converted to spirituality, asked in hisInitiations:‘AndwhatofeternalvaluesdidIlearnfromalltheyearsIspentonthestudyoftheso-called“SecretScience”?’TheMaster SriMaharshi says the same andmuchmore.He states that the

controlofthemind,achievedbyanywayexcepttheVichara(Self-Inquiry)willbe only temporary, for the mind will invariably return to its spontaneousactivities.‘Whatisnotnatural’,saystheSage,‘cannotbepermanent,andwhatis not permanent is not worth striving after’. What reasonable person woulddisagree with the Great Rishi?Who cannot see that there is no possibility or

hopeofrealizationifundertakenwithinadequatemethods?Forthenonesimplyhasnotimefortheproperworkwiththeonlyinstrument,theVichara.Lifeistooshorttowastewhenweareworkingearnestlytowardsachievement.Moreover,forthemajorityofaspirantsinbothEastandWest,complicatedoccultpracticesinvariably require quite a different and usually too difficult rearrangement ofeveryday life. These hundreds of exercises, postures, prayers, invocations andmeditations, are all incompatible with the resources and possibilities of anaverage person’s normal life. Few aspirants possess sufficientwealth to allowthemtoretirecompletelyfromtheouteractivityof thisvisibleworldand leadthenecessarypassiveexistence.Noworkingorfamilymanorwomancouldleadsuchalifewithoutbecomingasocialburdentoothers,whichisinadmissibleforone who strives high. In the majority of Western countries, it would beunthinkabletoleadabeggar’slife—asispossibleintheEast—withoutcomingintoconflictwiththeLaw,andthatwouldbewrong.But thisDirect Path, theMaharshi’sway, is possible and iswell suited for

everyonewhois ripeenoughtoenteron it,nomatterwhethermanorwoman,young or old, rich or poor, learned or illiterate. This Path can be followedsecretly,sothattheouterworldwillneverknowthatamanisengagedinadeepand intensive search. Thismeans that there is a reduction to theminimum ofexternalobstaclesallowedbytheprarabdhakarmaofman.Also there is no question of reading innumerable books, which are usually

writtenbymenwhothemselvescouldneverhopetopractiseallthattheytrytosuggesttotheirfollowers.Forthereisonethingbywhich,whenItiscognized,everything becomes clear and known; but without It, all else remains in therealm of ignorance, and reality, unchangeable existence or life, cannot bereached.Thatiswhysosmallanumberofaspirantsareabletoachieveanythingworth

themention,apartfromtheratheruselessfillingofthemindwiththoughtsandtheories borrowed from others.Merelywatching others eatingwill not satisfyourownhunger.Wemusteatforourselvesifwewishtolive.Themultiplicity of theorieswith their countless books, themany sects and

religionswith their almost invariable hostility to one another—nomatter howcleverlythisunpleasantquality isdisguised—allshowalackofunitywhichisonlyaproofthatthereislittleornotruthinanyofthem.ButtheDirectPathimmediatelygivesusaclearviewofourultimateandonly

aim.Theprocessofacquiringvirtuesisreversed.Wedonotneedtoseekthem,for they come according to themeasure of our advancement along the path. Icannothelpbut rememberChrist’swordsabout thekingdomofheaven,whichmust be sought before all else: ‘Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his

righteousness;andallthesethingsshallbeaddeduntoyou’.Tocompelourselvestoseekvirtues ispracticallyasuselessas to fly fromtemptation.Weallknowthatnotruevictorycanbewonbyflight,butonlybyvigorousandcourageousfighting.Andweshouldknowwhatwearefightingagainst,otherwisewewilllose. It isonly theDirectPathwhich tellsus fromthe first step,wherewearegoingandwhy.Ourrenunciationofthisunrealworld,whilenotusuallyknowntothosearoundus,acquiresanaturalandreasonablecharacter,andnotthatofimaginationorofahazydream.Thenweknowexperientiallythetruevalueofthethingsamongwhichwestilllive.Whenmeditatingaboutallthis,Iseethatmanyofthepopularcontemporary

writersonYogaandoccultismarenot‘masters’oftherealmtheytrytodescribe.Whilepromisingtheirfollowersallsortsofcontrolovertheirbodiesandlives,theythemselveshavenotachievedsuchcontrol.AllegedlytheyknowallaboutYogaandthehiddenpowersinman,butoftenaglanceissufficienttoseehowfartheyarefromtheclaimed‘control’andevenfrombodilyperfection’,muchless of higher things. It is so much easier to write books than to achieverealizationofthetruth.‘Physicianfirstcurethyself!’Irealizethatmanypeoplemuststillfollowthesedoubtfulways,fortheyare

unable to appreciate the unique one,which leads to the ultimate achievement.Andinthatsensewecanaccept—toacertaindegree—that‘Allpathsleadtothesamegoal’,fortimeitselfisflowingawaythrougheternity.Ifwehaveafastcaratourdisposal,itishighlyimprobablethatwewillprefer

tousethesortofbullock-cartwhichIseeinTiruvannamalaieveryday.Andyetthistypeofancientconveyancehasbeeninusehereforthousandsofyearsandstillservesthepresent-dayvillagersquitewell.Sothere isnothingwrongwiththemfromthepointofviewoftime.Nowthingsaredifferent.IfInolongerneedanybooks,itisbecausethevery

sourceof initiation isherebeforemyeyes.This isapositionenjoyedbybutafewmen,andIknowitwilllastforonlyashorttime.Butwhereisthatpower,whichcoulddestroythegloriousrealizationofthepresenceofatrueMaster?The beautiful words of another great teacher intuitively enter my

consciousness: ‘I am theway, the truth and the life: noman cometh unto theFather,butbyme’.InthepresenceofMaharshithismysticaltruthbecomesclearandreal.Forhere,atthefeetofBhagavan,Isee,ashaveothersbeforeme,thatHeisthepath.The Direct Path is also a fulfilment of the spiritual testament of the Lord

Buddha:‘Youcannotdestroyyourillusionbycreatinganotherinitsplace’.TheMaster of theDirect Path now sitting on his couch beforeme, is the greatestdestroyerofallillusions.

Undernocircumstancescanonewhosawhislight,continuetobelieveintheillusionofthisunrealbutmanifesteduniverse,whichastheMastersays,existsonly in ourmind.Then the poison of the compromise between the theoreticalacceptanceoftheabovetruthandtheactualpracticeofitineverydaylife,isforeverexcluded.Anotherquotationcomestomind;itisfromTheVoiceoftheSilencebyH.P.

Blavatsky,whichisbasedontheforemostmysticworkofNorthernBuddhism:‘TheSelfofMatterandtheSelfofSpiritcannevermeet.Oneofthetwainmustdisappear;thereisnoplaceforboth’.TheDirectPathagreeswiththis.Sri Maharshi apparently supports the Advaita-Vedanta theory which

recognizes only one real thing, the Atman, self or spirit. In his VivekaChudamani, Sankaracharya says: ‘All this universe, known throughmind andspeech, is the spirit…’ Ifwe follow the development of this philosophy to itsroot,wewill see that the evanescentmaterial counterpart ofman is as if non-existent.Also,wecanrecognizethatAdvaitaisinadvanceoftheabovequotedversefromtheVoiceoftheSilence,becausethematerialself(ortripleegoasweknowit)isconsideredasutterlyunrealandwithoutexistence.Nowfrommyformermultiplicityofconceptions,Icometotheone,whichis

a substitute for all of them and which answers or perhaps annihilates all myquestions.And this ishow thecovetedpeaceofmind isachieved. Inpractice,howdifferentisthePathleadingtoitincontrasttomyformerstruggling.Whenwerealizethatthereexistsaninfalliblepathtothefinalgoal,thejoyof

thatknowledgeisoverwhelming.Thisisthewaterwhichquencheshumanthirst;for humanity is never leftwithout some remedy or assistance in its trials andwanderings.Thosewhoseek—find.Butthesearchmustbeforthehighestandnot merely for more or less exalted illusions. The cardinal virtue ofdiscrimination plays an uppermost role in such seeking. For when the DirectPathbecomesvisible,alltheothersdisappearasiftheyhadneverbeensought.Thereisnoneedforany‘rejection’onthepartofthedisciple.Hesimplyseemstoforgetwhatisbestforgottenandremembersonlywhatshouldberemembered.Deepinourheartsthereliesasource,sooftenspokeofbytheMaster.Itcan

belikenedtothecentreofacircle,fromwhichwecanseeinalldirections,andthenfromwhichnootherpositioncangiveussuchavantagepoint.NowIfullyrealizewhy the path ofMaharshi is also called the Path of Inner Silence. Towhomwouldspeaktheonlyseer?Godirectly to thesourceofall truth inyourspiritualcentreofsilence,your

heart;fortheshortestdistancebetweentwopointsisadirectline,andamysticaltruthlieshiddenbehindthisgeometricalaxiom.Acceptit,andtheDirectPathisalreadybeneathyourfeet.ThereisnoneedtoseekItelsewhere.‘Asinglestep

begins the journeyofa thousandmiles’,but if this ‘firststep’ isnot taken, thetravellerwillremainathisstartingpoint.Without the knowledge of ‘whowe are’, we remain spiritually immovable.

Soonerorlaterwemustcometothetruebeginningandloseallmemoryofourpreviouswanderings.The Direct Path can be likened to a mighty river, quietly and majestically

flowingtotheinfiniteoceanofNirvana,Brahman,theKingdomofHeaven,nomatterwhatwecalltheultimateanduniqueaimofeverybeing.Yogas,religions,sects,philosophicalsystems,occultandspiritualsocieties,allcanbethoughtofasminor streams flowing into and yielding up their waters to the same greatriver,andfromthenonwardshavingthesamestraightcoursetotheocean.Butuntil they reach thedirect current andareno longer separate, these streamsofthemselves cannot take anyone using them to the goal. Before they reach themain river,waterfalls, sandbars, and other irregularitiesmay change the lie oftheir beds.And so,when swimming in or sailing on them,we cannot see theuniquestream,whichstill lieshiddenround theirbends.Everymomentbringsyetanotherglimpseoftheshoreandotherdistantturnings.Wetendtoforgetthateverythinghasanendandsoitwillbewithourby-paths.ButwhoeverknowsofthehiddenDirectPathwillnotwastetimefollowinglesserways.Alleffortswillbe concentrated on the one idea ‘How to enter the great current which flowsdirectlytotheocean?’It is possible that such people have already passed the twisted by-paths in

former lives, and their experiencenow leads them to theultimatehighway, sothatside-streamsholdnoattractionforthem.Fromtimetotime,aMastersteersHisvesselonthegreatriverandheseesthosewhohavefinishedtravellingalongthesmallerstreamsandareawaitingthelastjourney.FromthemheselectsthosewhoarefitandHisshipdisappearsonthewavesofEternity.Theinvisibleshipisstillsailingforusto‘see’.ItsMasteriswillingtotakeus

withHim.

CHAPTERXIV

TheTechniqueofVichara

Thesimplestthingsaresometimesthemostdifficulttoachieve.Whenwetrytoshutoutallthewhimsandfanciesofourrestlessmind,andto

concentrateontheonechosenforadefinitepurpose,themindfightsdesperatelyinordertoresistcontrol.Itdependsuponourwill,whowinsthisfight.Findoutwho is the creator of thoughts—and you have achieved the goal. Such is truerealization. But it is too mystical and needs relentless effort for itsunderstanding. I began toworkwithVichara foryearsbefore ImetMaharshi,andthemethodaccordingtohisteachingsisasfollows:To immerse oneself in meditation, making a clear impression on the outer

mindthattherealSelfcannotbeanytransientthingsuchasthebody,emotionsor mind. When this fact is strongly established without any doubt inconsciousness, then I try to fill everypossiblemomentwith the inquiry ‘WhoAmI?’WhenanyotherthoughtentersthemindonecrushesitwiththeVichara.Themoredetermined theperseverance, thebetter the result.The restlessmindbegins togiveup the struggle.As I substitute everyapproaching thoughtwiththemagicVichara,theperiodsofabsolutequietnessbecomelonger.Atfirstitisonly for a few seconds, but with constant practice there come minutes ofunruffledpeace.Themost important thing is tocatchandrememberwhatwasmosthelpfulinreachingthatpeaceofmind.Icannotdescribethatprocessinmyconsciousness, because it is above and beyond the activity of the mind, andthereforecannotbeexpressedinwords,whichbelongtothementalrealm.Buteachearneststudentwillhavethesameexperience.WhereverIwas,Vicharawaswithme:walkinginthestreet,sittingintrams

andtrains,infactalldaylongwhenmymindwasnotimmediatelyengagedinsomenecessaryactivity.During the firstmonths I counted the inquiries putting a number after each

one. ‘WhoAmI?’ (one), ‘WhoAmI?’ (two), and soon.Whencircumstancescompelledme tobreak thework, Inoted thenumber inmymemory,or if thebreakhadtobelonger,Iwroteitonaslipofpapercarriedinmypocketforthepurpose.Forthefirstfewdaysthefigureof1,000wasthehighest.Later7,000and more became an easy mark. When I learned to fill every moment withVichara excepting those of speech and compulsory mental occupation, thecounting was discarded as unnecessary, for then the mind had learned torememberVicharaautomatically.The importantpartwasnot to repeatVicharawiththemind,buttosaturateeachinquirywithastrongdesire(withoutwords)

toknow‘WhoAmI?’.Thentheresultswere:peaceofmind,andapowertouseitaftermyownwill,

as a force apart from the individual ‘I’. The average man believes, in hisignorance, that his body, emotions and mind constitute himself. The discipletrainedbyaMasterovercomesthisfalsehood.Andthisistheturningpointinhisspiritualdevelopment,beinga‘sinequanon’forhisprogressonthepath.Beingunder dominance of his mind the man is only a slave, and realization is notpossibleforthoseenslavedbythemindorthesenses.ThespiritualaspectofVicharaisalsoclear.Inusingityouareseekingyour

legitimate inheritance, aiming directly at the very source of life. Otherexperiencesmadepossiblebytheuseof the inquiry‘WhoAmI?’aregiveninotherchapters.Thewholeproblemof life iswrappedup in theVichara.EveryreligionandeveryspiritualMasteraffirmsthatlifeinitsessenceiseternalandindestructible;butwhatisthatlife?Maharshireveals,andthedisciplerealizes,thateternallifeisnoneotherthan

uninterruptedconsciousness.Toreachthatstatemeanstoreachtheimmortalityofspirit,ofreality.Thatis

thegoalandtheultimateaim.Thereisnothingelse.Meditateuponthisandthetruthwillbemadecleareventotheoutermind.Sucharetheheavenspromisedtotherighteousandthesaint,astoldtousby

Christ.Forthemthereisnodeathanymore.Howclearnowarethewordsofthegreatteacherofhumanity!Andfromtheotheraspect,itisclearwhy,foranundevelopedhumanbeing,

thereareandmustbeperiodicalinterruptionsinconsciousness,connectedwithsufferingandthefearofdeath.If thehighest levelofconsciousness inmandoesnot transcendthatofmind

(andsoitisforthemajorityofmen),thenthisveryfactorimpliesincarnationinmatter(Maya)anddeath,seenastransitionintodifferentformswithunavoidabletemporary darkness and gaps in consciousness. But when our consciousnessreachesthesupra-mentalrealm,therealmoftheeternalunchangeablespirit-self,theunchangingreality,thendeathissimplytranscendedanddoesnotexistanymore.NowcanbeunderstoodthetruthofthesayingsoftheGreatRishi,whenhedeniesreincarnationintherealmofspirit,butotherwisespeaksaboutitasanestablished fact.Fromhispoint ofviewbothdeath and reincarnation areonlyillusions, and do not affect the real Self, just as our body is not affected by achangeofdress.TheVicharathrowslightoneverypath.

CHAPTERXV

‘Martha,Martha,thouartcareful…

…Martha,Martha,thouartcarefulandtroubledaboutmanythings:Butonethingisneedful:andMaryhathchosenthatgoodpart,whichshallnotbetakenawayfromher’.

The invisible, but in its influence the most efficacious, light emanated byMaharshibringsaboutatotalchangeinouropinionsandinourappreciationofall the values ofworldly life.After the fewweeks I have spent here, I see soclearlythetragicemptinessoftheslogansusedbymostpeopleonlytoconcealthe innervoid andutter futilityof their existence. I rememberedhaving askedmanypeoplewhat theyregardedas thechiefpurposeof their lives.Almostallthe answers seemed to follow a certain common pattern, as if they had beenturned out of a standardmould. Their gist wasmore or less as follows: ‘Thechiefpurposeofmylifeistoservemynation;tohelptheprogressofhumanity;toassisttheevolutionandculturaldevelopmentofmyprogeny;togiveagoodeducation to and inculcate moral principles in my children’, and similarmeaningless, insincere truisms. Ipreferred thesimplerandmore frankanswer:‘Myaimispleasure.Iwanttoenjoylifetothefullwhilethereisstilltime’.Inowunderstandthatabeingwhodoesnotknow‘whoheis’cannothaveany

right judgment, nor any idea about the thingswhich transcendhis personality.Also, thatuntilhumanbeings reachself-awareness,eachoneof them,withoutexception, is carried along by an automatic movement which he calls ‘life’,aimingatmoreorlessshort-termedgoals.Thepoliticianworking,ashebelieves,fortheprosperityofhisstateornation,

never ponders over the question as towhether the existence of this particularstateornationisnecessaryforthewelfareoftheuniverseasawhole,orwhetheritwillnotdisappearaftersometimetogiveplace tootherentitiesofasimilarkind.He even fails to realize, that thewhole of our planet is not eternal, thateverything on it, created through the ages by the countless generations of‘thinkingbeings’(asweliketocallourbrethreninevolution)willturnintodust,withoutleavingtheslightesttraceofitselfbehind,justasnolifenowremainsonthat‘dead’globe,themoon.Actually, this understanding does not appear in such a definite form, or in

suchready-madesentencesasthoseIhavewrittenabove.ButIcannotfindanyothersuitablewaytoexpress thatrealizationwhich, in itspureessence,comesperhapsfromtheintuition,andisfarbeyondallwords.Henceanyattempttotryto express themeaningof this understandingborn from the ‘spiritual silence’,

mustinevitablyfail.All the varieties of human activity down here have their source in the

personalityorego.Weknowthatbothactorandactionareequallyillusory,andhaveno real existence save in the three-scoreyearsof ephemeral life spent inthisphysicalbody.Jfwegraspthisfactweseealltheunrealityofouractionsandachievementsonthephysicalplane,whichareatthebasisofourpersonalities.Themanwhorelinquisheshispersonalityforthesakeoftherealceasestobeaslaveofhisillusions,andnolongerbelievesintheirusefulness,justashecannotadmitthathisshadowcanexistindependentlyofhisphysicalbody.‘VanitasVanitatumetOmniaVanitas’VanityofVanitiesandallisVanity’This was quoted from Ecclesiastes by one of the inspired anchorites of

Christianity,andtheauthorofthatmarvellousbookTheImitationofChrist.Itisonemore proof that ‘All roads lead toRome’, in otherwords, in the spiritualrealm all efforts to find truth, irrespective of creed, lead to the same finalachievement.When,aboutfiveyearsago,IfirstdiscoveredtheteachingsofMaharshi,Iwas

struckbytheirresemblancetothoseofThomasaKempis,formanyyearswellknowntome.Now,inthepresenceofLightinavisibleform,oneunderstandsevenmoreclearly thebasicunityofall thespiritual teachersofhumanity.It isthe ordinary men who have buried, in the grave of dogmas and transientcommandments,theliving,spiritualtruthofTheirteachings.Beliefinthe‘superiority’ofanyreligiondoesnotexistforonewhositsatthe

feetofatrueMasterofWisdom.Maharshialsospeaksaboutthe‘ultimatetruth’,butthistranscendsallcreedsandcanbereachedonlybythefew.

CHAPTERXVI

TheLastPhotographsoftheMaster

During the last few days, several leading photographers have come to takeMaharshi’s photograph.He obeys the requests of the ‘specialists’—made in amostdelicateandreverentialway—andtakesthevariousposturestheyaskhimtoassume,alwayswithhiskind,friendlyandindulgentsmile.Of course, I thought, everyone knows that these are the last months of

Maharshi’s staywith us.Hence, theywant to have the picture of the physicalform of the Saint before it is too late. And the photographs are marvellousindeed. His face during these last years of his earthly life has the exquisiteexpression of an almost divine loving kindness, which stands out even moredominantly than thewisdomandpowerwhich are so prominent in his formerpictures.SomegoodphotographsoftheMasterareavailable.Perhapsthebestknown

wastakensomesixteenyearsago:itshowshisfaceagainstthebackgroundofakind of luminous cross, formed by the reflection of light. Another one wellknown to all readers of books on Maharshi, shows him in a classical Yogicposture, sitting cross-legged on a platform covered with a tiger skin. It wasprobablytakenafterhismonthlyshaving,for thefeaturesarefreeof thewhitebeard, and both the purity of line and expression of incomparable power areemphasizedmore than in any other picture.Contemplating itwe see a certaingravity on the face of the Saint who has for so long left behind him all theweaknesses,imperfectionsandmiseriesthatreignamongus.Itshowsonewhohas forever transcendedall ignorance,andnowfaces thehighest realitywherenodoubtsorfearscanexist.EverymonthaftertheshavingtakesplaceIhavetheinestimableprivilegeofcontemplatingthefeaturesofthelivingformitselfwithitsclear-cutlines—thismarvellousheadthatissurroundedbyasubtlefragranceof incense and the still more subtle aroma of the utter devotion and love ofhundredsofhearts.Onealsoperceivesinthisfacethatqualitywhichissorareinourbrothermen

—infinite understanding. It is difficult to explain, but when one is in thepresenceoftheSaint,onehasthecertaintythatthewholeofourbeingliesopenand bare before him, and that he sees into its very depths.Of course, all thismightnotbequitepleasantorcomfortableforthemajorityofpeoplewereittohappen before eyes other than those of theMaharshi. But in his presence nosecretscanexist,nordoesonehavetheslightestfearofcriticism.Heislikethehighesttribunalofourconscience,theFather-Confessorwhose

‘verypresencepurifiesusfromallsin’,aswassaidaboutfortyyearsagobyhisfriend,aHinduSaintandclairvoyant,SeshadriSwami.Thethirdwell-knownphotographrepresentsthefaceoftheMasterinahalo

ofwhitehairandbeard,withasoftsmileofineffabletenderness.Maharshi’smissionon this earth isnearing its end.Theoral teachingshave

beentransmitted, transcribedandpublishedbydisciplesandfaithfulfriends.Agroupof‘initiates’remainstospreadthewordsofwisdomfurtherforthosewhoare able to hear and accept them. Now remains only the cross of finalmartyrdom,whoseextentandpurposeareunknownandinexplicabletous.Itwasnotmyprivilegetoseeitsstagesonthephysicalplane.Iwastoldthat

the magnitude of Maharshi’s physical suffering was terrible for thosesurroundinghim.Ibelievethattheall-wiseProvidenceknowsbestastowhatarethelimitsofourstrengthandenduranceinanyperiodoflife.This third picture of the Sage, which I contemplated every day during the

wholeofmystay in theAshram, remainedwithme, for everengravedonmyheart,notonlyinitsoutwardappearance,butinfinitelymore.Justbeforetheend,inApril,1950,theMastersaidtothosearoundhim:‘They

sayIamdying,butIshallremainheremorealivethanever’.VerilytheSpiritofMaharshihasremainedwithus.The photographs ofMaharshi are now known all over the world. But how

many people know the light which was brought by him from the realm ofabsolutebliss,thelandofthehighestspirit,andofthethornypaths,whicharesonarrowanddifficultformostofus?Whyarewesoblind?Whyareweunabletosee this peace and bliss, wisdom and love, expressed so clearly even in thephysical features of one who abides in that land forever? How much moreresplendentmust be that light there, where it is not veiled by the vehicles ofmatter, where shines the never-setting sun, about whose luminous rays everybeingdreamsintheinnermostdepthsofhisheart.

CHAPTERXVII

OneOperationMore

ForafewdaysrumourshadbeengoingroundtheAshramthatanotheroperationissoontotakeplacetocutoutthemalignanttumour,whosegrowthhasbecomesoterrifying,weakeningthewholebodyoftheSage.Lastnightseveralsurgeonscame fromMadraswithbags fullof instruments.Theyassistedat theeveningmeditationandexchangedafewwordswiththeSaintbeforeleavingthetemplehall.ThismorningMaharshiwasabsentfromhisusualplace,andthemembersof

theAshramstaffsaidthattheoperationhastotakeplaceaboutnoon.AllWesternerswereonthealert,andmanypeoplewerewanderingroundthe

temple,goinghereandthereinthevicinityofthedispensarywheretheoperationwasbeingperformed.In the eveningwewere told that the operationwas over, butMaharshiwas

veryweakandwouldnotbeabletoleavethedispensary.Laterhesatinanarm-chair on the verandah of its white building, surrounded by surgeons and theAshramstaff,andonthenearbysquarealongqueuehadbeenformedbythosewho were anxious to see the Master. One by one they advanced, silentlymountedthefewsteps,saluted,andimmediatelywentdownbytheotherside.Iwasnotthere.Iwenttothetemple,satinmyusualplaceandplungedinto

meditation,withno thoughts,nomental forms, in thequietnessof thatsilencewhich is more eloquent than words. How marvellous is the peace of such asilence! It is beyond all the limits of time and human memory. It cannot beimmediatelyinterpretedinwords,becauseofacertainreluctanceonourparttotouchthissilencebythought.Itdoesnotallowustousewordsuntillater.These pages, therefore,werewritten after some timehad elapsed, generally

duringthe‘free’hoursfollowinglunch,wheneveryonegoestorest,all thelifeof theAshramseemstobesuspendedandnoone is in the templehall.Peoplegenerally sleep from noon to 3 p.m. But not myself, for I have muchcorrespondence:lettersreachmefromallpartsoftheworldinmanylanguagesfrompeopleofdifferentnature,temperamentandlevelofmentaldevelopment.Heat discourages all physical movement, but the super-physical functions

remain independent of it, and the mind works normally. When I finish mycorrespondence for the day, I take my diary, or a few pages of myRemembrancesfromIndia,whichIamtryingtowriteinaformsuitablefortheaveragelayman.Idonotquitelikeitandhavetakenitupwithoutenthusiasm.Some will see in it an almost trivial type of description, others will think it

exaggeratedandbiased.Allthiscannotbehelped.AfewdaysaftertheoperationMaharshiappearsinthetemplehall;atfirstfor

a few hours only, then for a somewhat longer period, until finally, the usualroutineisrestoredforatime.Pupilsanddevoteesaswellasadmirerscomefromallparts,probablytosay

farewelltotheMasterandhavehisfinalDarshan.AmongthemareIndians,andWesternersofmanynations.Theyarechieflyelderlypeople,comingforashortstayofperhapsafewdays.Amongthemthereareseriousaswellassomewhatgrotesque figures. One of the old disciples of Maharshi, the famous YogiRamiah, has remained almost twomonths in theAshram. Everymorning andevening he sat literally at the feet of the Master. Silent and dispassionate,wrappedinhiswhitegarments,hestayedquietandmotionless.AftertheoperationMaharshiisstillthin,butaslightimprovementisvisible.

Amongthesurroundingpeopleoptimisticrumoursarespreading.Someexpectamiracle,whileothershopeforbetterresultsfromnewmethodsoftreatment.Idonottrytobroodoverthefuture.Iamconcentratedonthepresent,leaving

thepossible sorrow in store for the timewhen theMasterwillnotbewithmeanymore—ofcourse,inthephysicalsense.ButIknowthatIamseeinghiminhisphysicalbodyforthelasttime.

CHAPTERXVIII

VisitingCaves

IusepartofthetimewhenMaharshiisabsentfromthetemplehalltovisitholyplacesinthevicinity.Myfirstistothesacredhill,Arunachala,whichriseshighabove theAshram,as ifpointing toheavenwith its sharppeak. Igo toall thecaves where the Sage dwelt in his youth. One of the most famous is called‘Virupaksha’ cave. Here the young Swami Ramana spent many years inmeditationandasceticdiscipline.ItissaidthatinancienttimesagreatYogiwasburiedthere.I easily found a little path on the slope ofArunachala leading to this cave.

ThereIsawabigrockjuttingoutandbelowitasmallverandahwithaconcretefloor,an iron latticeall round,andsmalldoors in thebackground.Thesewereshutbyarustedandold,butstillused,lock.Therewerenosignsoflife.Iwentround thecave,pluckeda fewred flowersand thensatquietlyonabigwarmstone.AsIwasdecidingtoreturnhome,athin,middle-agedHinducamedownfromthehillandapproachedthecave.HesalutedmeintheusualHindumanner,towhichIrespondedbythesamesalute,placingmypalmstogetheratthelevelofmychest.Heopenedthelittleirongateandentered,invitingmewithakindgestureandsmiletofollowhim.Ihadtobendalmostdoubletopassthroughtheverylowandnarrowdoors.Inside, in the centre of the little nine-by-nine-foot cell hollowed out of the

rock,stoodasmallcubicaltaraboutfivefeethighcoveredwithgarlandsofwildyellow flowers. In the centre, blue blossoms were scattered and a light wasburning.Onashelfcutoutoftherockstoodanearthenwater-pot.Byitmynewfriend,theSannyasin,placedthesmallvesselcontainingfoodwhichhehadjustbrought.Nothingelsewastobeseeninthecave.Isatdownonthecleanlysweptconcrete floornear the stonealtar.Myhostdid the same.Weunderstoodeachother without the need of words. He knew the purpose of my visit and Iunderstoodwellwhatthissecluded,silenthermitagemeantforhim.IntheafternoonIwenttoanothercave,situatedsomewhathigherupthehill,

and named ‘Skandashram’. This was the next place where Maharshi stayedbeforehecamedowntothepresentAshram,wherethegraveofhismother,thetempleandallthebuildingsarenowsituated.AsinVirupakshatherockplatformissurroundedbyalatticewall,andfroma

palm grove and small garden a few steps cut into the rock lead to a largeverandah and several rooms inside. It was a Hindu holy day, and severalfestively dressed women and boys were standing on the verandah under the

pleasant shade of the palms. A young Indian, with an intelligent and kindexpression, cameout tomeetme.He showedme a small door leading inside.This cave was similar to, but looked a bit ‘richer’ than, the former one. Anidentical little altar stood in the centre adorned with flowers. A light wasburning, and an old photograph of Maharshi, in a meditation posture andprobablytakensomefortyyearsago,wasstandingonthealtar.Somematswithcolouredstripeswerestretchedonthefloor.TheyoungasceticstoodwithfoldedhandsandbowedheadbeforeMaharshi’s

picture. I inquiredwhether thiswas the roomwhere theSagehaddweltmanyyears ago, as there were other little cells in the rock hermitage. He noddedassent,thenwentoutforamoment,returningwithatrayfulloffreshashesandatinyvesselwiththeredpowdercalled‘kum-kum’.BotharealwaysusedduringPuja (Hindu ritual worship). One had to make a small mark between theeyebrowswith the redpowder,and then threestripeson the foreheadwith theholyashes.Thefirstwaseasy,butatthesecondIhesitated,notbeingsurehowmany stripes I must make, nor how to do so without risk of a mistake. TheSwamiwhowas holding the tray understoodmy uncertainty and immediatelydemonstrated with a kind gesture—three stripes were to be done with threefingers. I followed his example and after having complied with this ancientAryanritualsatdownquietlyinthecorneroftheverandah,neartheMaharshi’sformer cell, and withdrew my consciousness from all objects, removingeverythingfromitsfield.Firstthecolouredsarisofthewomensittingoppositedisappeared, then the whisper of an old white-bearded ascetic repeating hisMantrasjustnearme.When I ‘returned’ to the visible world I heard from afar the Ashram gong

callingforsupper.Hereintheeveningair,soundsareclearlyheardforaradiusofseveralmiles.IsilentlytookleaveoftheinmatesofSkandashramandwalkeddownthestonysteps.Sothisevening,forthefirsttime,IsatattheAshrammealwiththesignsonmeofaHinduSadhu,indicatingapersondedicatedtospirituallife.Maharshi’splacewasempty.Butoppositemesatthenewly-arrivedfamilyofaMaharaja,hiswifeandtwo

youngsters,hissonanddaughter.OntheleftwasYogiRamiah’splace,andontherighttheseniorpupilsandtheinmatesoftheAshram.Itseemedtomethatthe Maharaja’s family were casting somewhat envious glances at my spoonwhichwassocomfortabletouse,especiallywhendealingwithliquids,foroutofcourtesy, they had to follow the common custom of eating with the hand,whereaswhenathometheyhadprobablylongagoforsakenit.

CHAPTERXIX

ArunachalabyDay

Arunachalameans‘TheHillofLight’.Accordingtoanimmemorialcustom,onthedayofSiva’sfestivalcalled‘Kartikai’abigfirefedwithghee(meltedbutter)is liton thevery topofArunachalaby thepriestsof thegreatTiruvannamalaitempleaboutamilefromtheAshram.Thelight isseenformilesall round,asthe hills stands solitary on the plains. The festival is celebrated every year inNovember. The legend says that many thousands of years ago, Siva Himselfappeared on the hill-top as a column of fire, and since that time theKartikaifestivalhasalwaysbeencelebrated.That is thephysical, thevisiblesideof it,but theesotericsignificance is far

richer and deeper. Maharshi called Arunachala: the reflection of the divineabsolutebestowingliberationonthosewhostrivesincerelyforit.HealsosaiditrepresentsourtrueSelf,theessentialreality,thespirit,andtheultimategoalofourexistence,ortheAtman.TheSagesaidclearlythatthoughfromthematerialpointofview,Arunachalaisonlyasenselesshill,‘amassofrocksandstones’—understood in its realaspect, it isa symbolof thehighestbeing. Icannotheredetailall themythologyconnectedwith theholyhill. Ishallmerelyquote inafreetranslation,somesignificantwordsoftheMaster:‘IdiscoveredthattheverythoughtaboutArunachala,itsmentalpicture,stops

themovementsofthethinkingprincipleandgivesthepeaceofachievementtotheonewhoturnstowardsit.Thereexistsintheworldamarvellouspotion,forthosewhohaveunderstood

theephemeralnatureofworldlythingsandwanttodiscardthisformoflife.Thisrare potion does not kill the physical man, but destroys his false, separatepersonality,ifhecanonlyturnhisthoughtstowardsit.KnowthatitisnoneotherthanthisHolyHill—Arunachala.Onewhoconstantlyaskshimself:WhoAmI,what is the Source ofme?Onewho plunges into the depths of his being andfinds the roots of the mind in the Heart, he himself becomes a Lord of theUniverse,OArunachala,OceanofBlissIwantalsotogivetheliteralversion:‘IhavediscoveredaNewThing!ThisHill,thelodestoneoflives,arreststhe

movementsofanyonewhosomuchasthinksofit,drawshimfacetofacewithIt,andfixeshimmotionlesslikeItselftofeeduponhissoulthusripened.WhatawonderisThis!OSoulsbewareofIt,andlive!SuchadestroyeroflivesisthismagnificentArunachala,whichshineswithintheHeart!Howmanyarethere,whohavebeenruinedlikemeforthinkingthisHilltobe

the Supreme?Oh,Men! Disgusted with this life of intensemisery, ye seek ameans of giving up the body. There is on earth a rare drug which withoutactuallykillinghim,willannihilateanyonewhosomuchas thinksof it.KnowthatitisnoneotherthanthisArunachala’.

(FromaHymnbyMaharshitranslatedbyamemberoftheAshram.)Thesemysticalwordsof theSagehaveadeepmeaningandalsogive some

practicalhints,butonlyforthosewhoareconsciouslyaimingatLiberation.Forthese theveilofwords is liftedandonly thencan theysee themystic lightofArunachalashiningforthintheirhearts.I begin tounderstand themeaningof thewords: ‘All themovements of the

mindarestoppedbyArunachala’.Itisdifficulttoconvey,savetohimwhohasexperienced it,but it isa fact thateven thepictureof the strangeshapeof theHillofLight,seenbyourmind’seye,or theveryremembranceofArunachalawhenoneisfarfromit,helpsinaconcentrationwhichisnotonlythebeginningbutaveryconditionofouradvancementtowardstheGoal.Today,takingadvantageofMaharshi’sabsencefromthehall,Ihavedecided

to explore thephysical aspect of thehill. Itmeans a climb to its summit.Theweather is propitious as the sky is cloudy and there is not the usual heat. Astrongandratherfreshwindalsohelpsmyenterprise,whichisnotatalleasy,forIdonotknowthewayandtheslopesaresteepandwild.Itisdifficulttoseethepath.Inadditiontheappearanceofthingsfromadistanceisdifferentfromwhatit iswhenoneactually reaches them.Placeswhich, fromtheplain,seemquiteeasy to climb, prove on approach impossible to scale. This was the greatestdifficultyofmyadventure.Looking at thehill frombelowand followingmoreor less a straight line, I

tracedmyway through the slopes above the town of Tiruvannamalai and theAshram.OnthewholeIclimbedalmostallthetime,andgenerallyatanangleof45degrees. I had to jump fromone stone to another, avoiding the high denseweedswhichgrewprofuselybetweentherocks,aswithinthemmightbehiddensnakesorscorpions,socommonintheseparts.Soon the town, the great temple with its towers, and the buildings of the

Ashram became toys and the goatherdswhowere looking up atme from thelowerslopesseemedlikeants.Inoticedthatthedescentmightbemoredifficult,forthestones,polishedby

rainandwindduringthecenturies,areroundinshapeandlooselyembeddedintheground.Oftentheybecomedislodgedandrolldownthesidesofthehill.Afterhalfanhour’sclimbIreachedarock,which,seenfrombelow,appeared

tobeabouthalfway;butnowlookinguptothepeak,Isawthatthedistanceyettoclimbwasmore thandouble thatwhichhadbeen leftbehind.Moreover the

rockwassosteepthattherewasnopossibilityofclamberingoveritwiththeaidonlyof the light bamboo stick Iwas carrying. Itwas lyingdirectly acrossmychosentrack,barringtheway,anditseemedimpossibletogoroundit.Isawthattheseeminglyeasyvalleysleadingtotherockypeakwereneither

nearnoreasy toclimb.At last Iunderstoodthat1wasnoton theproperpath,andrememberedthewordsofthechemistinTiruvannamalai,whosaidthatthebestwayisoppositeSiva’s temple,somewhat to theNorth.But itwas too latenowtofindit.Theonlythingleft,ifIwantedtoproceedandnottoabandonmyday’sadventure,wastofollowanalmostinvisiblelittletrackthroughthebushesandherbsontheleftoftherock.Itmightprovetobelonger,buttherewasnochoice. I ceased lookingwhere to step, as I hadbeendoingbefore, because ittook toomuch time. I thought: if a cobrahas tobiteme,nocareofminecanpossiblypreventit.IsimplyfixedmyattentiononArunachalaandafteronehourreachedthesummit.SittingonastoneneartheplacewherethefamousFireislit—itwaseasyto

recognize it by the black fatty patchmadeby the burnedghee—I remenberedMaharshi’s advice as to how we should look at the material side of life, notallowingittointerferewithourconstantsearchforlight.‘Raise your head high. Do not look down on the tossing stormy sea of

transient life. Else itwill engulf you in itsmuddywaves. Fix your gaze aloftuntilyouseetheSplendidReality’.Theliteraltranslationis:‘Aimhigh,aimat thehighest,andall loweraimsare therebyachieved. It is

lookingbelowon thestormyseaofdifferences thatmakesyousink.Lookup,beyondtheseandseetheOneGloriousReal—andyouaresaved’.

FromMaharshi’sSayings

Imeditatedupon the fact thathumanity is seekinghappinessand light,newteachings and new teachers. And yet so many marvellous truths are at itsdisposal inall thereligionsof theworld,andinthesayingsof themysticsandmasters, thatevenone lifetimewouldnotbeenoughtoknowthemall.Andinreality one singlemaxim, if put into practice, suffices to guide us to the rightpath.

CHAPTERXX

‘TheI-Current’

ApartfromMaharshihimself,thisisamostmysticalphenomenon.Itisdifficulttodescribeitinnon-technicallanguage.IfweacceptthefactthatinNaturethereis no loss of energy, thenwe can realize that spiritual forces generatedby themeditationsandradiationsoftheSamadhioftheMastermustcreateareservoirof spiritual energy. The intimate disciples ofMaharshi knew about this somethirty years ago. They called it ‘The I-Current’, They ascribed to this super-physicalpowerdifferentphenomena thatoccurredat theAshram, spontaneouscuresofdiseases,spiritualilluminationsandsuddenchangesinthedirectionoftheir lives.Maharshihimself rarely spokeaboutanyphenomenamentionedbyhisdevotees.Itseemedheignoredallthis.It iswithin the realm of natural law that a powerful spiritualmagnetism as

createdbytheGreatRishicouldnotfailtoproduceeffectsonourconsciousnesswhenattunedtoitsmightyradiation.Oneday Iwas seeking amethod—apart from theVichara—to facilitatemy

attunement with my true Self. At that time the resistance of my mind andemotionsbarredthewaytothesilence.Thenanideacame:‘WhyshouldInottrytodrawupontheCurrent?’Buthow?Concentratingallmyattentiononthatproblem I intuitively began to repeat, like amantra, the words: ‘I-Current, I-Current’, not knowing what made me do it. Immediately a stream of powerenteredmybeing,exactlyfilling theneedwhosefulfilmentIhadsought.Noweverythingwas changed.Themind’s resistancewas swept away.The physicalworldrecededfromthescreenofmyvision,likeabrokenfilm.ThencamethestateofconsciousnessIhavedescribedinotherchapters.LaterIrealizedthatitwasnotnecessarytousethemysticalcurrentonlyfor

the above purposes, and that its use in smallermatters could also be helpful.Everydisturbanceofthemindcanbequelledbyit.Butintuitionwarnsmenottousethatreservoirofforcetoooftenandwithoutdiscrimination.What conditions are necessary to bring one in contactwith the ‘I-Current’?

Knowledge that the current exists; belief in its effectiveness as part of theactivityof theMaster, anddesire for someworthycause tobe served. IneveraskedmyMasteraboutit.Itseemedtootrivialathingtospeakabout,whenhisworkwasalwaysperformedonahigher level.However, it throws lighton themethodsbywhichthosewhohavegonebeforeushaveperformedtheirtasks.The‘I-Current’exists.Itconstitutesagreatsourceofpoweronwhichwecan

drawtoachieveworthyends.Itistheblessedinheritancelefttousbythegreat

friendofhumanity.

CHAPTERXXI

TheTomboftheMuslimSaint

One day, one of my friends invited me to attend worship in the mosque ofTiruvannamalai. I went and was told the strange story of a North IndianMohammedanSaint,generallycalled‘Haji’here.Afewdaysbeforehisdeathhesaidtohispupils:‘When I leave my physical form, my Spirit will remain with you. Let

everyone,withoutanydifferenceofcreedandsocial status,come tomygravewheneverhemaybeinneedofhelp.Lethimexpresshisneedorwishasclearlyashewould,werehe facingmypresentvisible form. I shallcertainlyhearhisentreatyandshalltransmitittotheMostHigh,WhowillfulfilitforthesakeofHisservant’.Iwastoldofmanycaseswhensuchassistancehadbeengranted,irrespective

ofcreed, toMuslim,HindusandChristiansalike.Afewdaysaftervisitingthecaves,onabeautifulevening,IwenttoseethisHaji’stomb.Itwasinamodestthatchedhut.Insidewasanoldwatchmanofthemosquewholivednearby,andsuppliedtheiiicensestickstobeburneddayandnightatthetomb.Itwasverysimple,oblonginshape,andtwosmalllightswereburningontheparapetoftheverandah,aboutayardandahalfdeeprunningroundthemud-flooredhut.Ononesideofitcouldbeseenthewhitewallsofthemosque,andfromanotherthesun-scorchedfieldsoftheplain.Silenceandpeacereignedinthismodestshrine.Thesunwasjustsetting—a

goodhourformeditation,andthattheplacealsowasmostsuitableforit,Ihadinamoment,ampleproof.The psychic atmosphere of India is very different from that of most other

countries.Onemight say thatcontemplativemoodsare in theveryair.This iseasy to understand if we admit that no energy is lost in nature. Millions ofhumanbeings,oftenendowedwithextraordinaryspiritualpowers,withamightyradiating influence, have from time immemorial been throwing into theatmosphere of India streams of energy generated by their meditations. Also,sincethethoughtsofmanyinhabitantsaredirectedtowardssuperphysicalaims,allthiscreatesapeculiarmagnetism,especiallyinso-called‘holy’placesliketheAshramanditssurroundings.For me, the tomb of the Mohammedan saint proved to be one of these

magneticspots.Inafewmoments,afterhavingexcludedthevisibleworldfrommyconsciousness, Ibecameawareof theHaji’spresence. Itwas like thatofasweet and extremely kind person askingmewhatweremy needs andwishes,

andurgingmetoexpressthemfranklywithoutanyshynessorreservation.ButonthisoccasionIhadnorequeststomake,saveonlytheonethoughtwhichwasalways inmymindeven in thepresenceofMaharshi. It isdifficult to explainwhat it was, but for those who know the Indian philosophic terminology, theexpression, awish toenter the ‘StreamofDhyana’,wouldbebest.Thatnightthis‘stream’carriedmefartherthanIhadexpected.

*During the nextweeks I returned several times to this silent shrine, having

some entangled and difficult problems to solve. One of them seemed utterlyhopeless, for its solution fromthephysicalpointofviewwas impossible.Andyet,withinthreedaysaftermylastvisitandrequestfortheHaji’shelp,ahappyandunexpectedsolutioncameofitselfwithoutinterventiononmypart.Thoseofmyreaderswholiveonthesurfaceofthings,mayreacttothisstory

in amore comfortable than wise way by saying offhand: ‘Oh, it was amerechance’.OnceIaskedonesuchbelieverinchancetobegoodenoughtoexplaintomewhat exactly thiswordmeant to him, andwhat range of happenings itcovered.Alas, Imetwith sheer vagueness, neither he nor anybody else beingwilling to giveme a logical answer, although theymaintained that they knewverywellwhatthewordmeant,and‘Itissoclear,everybodyshouldunderstandit’.YetevennowIhaveneverheardanadequateexplanation.Ofcourse,Idonotmindsuchcomments.

PLATEIVMaharshi’slastmonths

PLATEVMouniSadhu

CHAPTERXXII

InSriAurobindo’sAshram

Oneday a friend informedme that in a fewweeks therewould be aDarshan(Audience) of the Master Sri Aurobindo Gosh. It is held twice a year inPondicherry.I already knew something about his teachings, explained in various books

whichhavehadsuccessintheWest.YearsagowhileinParisIboughtonecalledSelectedThoughtsandAphorismsofSriAurobindo.Ilikedit,atthattime,foritsbold and clear conceptions, and it was founded on deep wisdom. This occultschoolinPondicherryhasasitsaimsthespiritualandculturalunificationoftheEastandWest,andthepreparationofagroupofspirituallyenlightenedleaderscapableofguidingfuturegenerationsofhumanity.AsaresultlaymenoftencallSriAurobindo’sAshramaschoolofmagic.InordertobeadmittedtotheDarshan,onehadtoprocureaspecialpermitin

writing. I was told that it was not too easy to get especially if one had noinfluencewith theAshramstaff.However, Iobtained itwithoutanydifficulty,andonAugust14thItookthetrainforPondicherry.The journey took longer than it should because of custom’s formalities on

enteringthecolony,whichrequiredtwoorthreehours.Onleavingthestation,Ifound thewhole townwas decoratedwithFrench and Indian flags. Itwas thesecondanniversaryoftheIndependenceoftheIndianRepublic.Thepoliticallyastute French Governor, not wishing to offend the Indian population, had theflagsofbothcountriesflownontheGovernmentofficesandthepubliceagerlyfollowed his lead, making the small town look very festive. There were alsonumerouspatrolsofblackFrenchsoldiersonbicycles,probablySengalesefromAfrica.OneofthenativesergeantsdirectedmetotheAshraminquitetolerableFrench.TheAshram’sdepartmentsarelocatedindifferentbuildings,itsorganization

beingapparentlyquite effective and smooth, so that longqueues formeal andlodgingticketswerehandledquickly.TheDarshanwastimedfor3p.m.AtnoonIsatinoneofthelargeroomsofavillawheremealswereservedforthevisitors.The lunch of well-cooked vegetarian food was distributed by a sort of self-service,andforthosewhowished,therewasbreadandsourmilk.Themixtureofhalf-Indian,half-Europeanmannerswas rather incongruous, forwithknivesand forks provided, the visitors sat on the floor on clean mats in front ofminiature tables.ManyWesternerswerepresentamongtheguests,somebeingresident intheAshramitself.Thestreetsclosebywerefullof thelatestmodel

cars, andas itwas soveryhot the thousandsofvisitors soonemptied the tinyshops of cool drinks.My thirstwas not the only one that had to be quenchedwithluke-warmwater.Afterinspectingthetinyharbour,withitsshipsanchoredbythewoodenjetties,Itookashortsiestaunderthetrees,butthenearnessoftheoceandidnothingtocoolthetemperature.At3p.m.,whenthegateoftheAshramwasopened,thequeueofnearlytwo

thousandpeople, fourabreast, seemed tostretchawayendlessly.ThewholeofIndia and many other countries were represented. After a long wait, I at lastcamenearthehomeoftheMasterandthequeueenteredthehallthroughalleysandcorridors.PicturesofSriAurobindoandhiscollaboratorandcompanion—aFrenchlady,aformeractressofgreatbeautyinheryoungeryears—hungonthewalls. She is now known as ‘Mother’ and administers theAshramwith greatenergy and skill. TheMasterAurobindo himself does not handle the businessside,butleadsastrictlycontemplativelife.TheMotheralsomanagesabouttwohundredpupilswithout,itseems,anygreateffort.PupilswhenenrolledusuallygivealltheirearthlypossessionstotheAshram,whichthencaresfortheirneeds.Theirmaterialworriesbeingremoved,everymemberofthisstrangecommunityobeystheordersoftheMother.Sinceeachhashisworkortrade,theAshramispractically self-supporting, just like a convent or monastery. There is a stricttime-tableofwork,lessonsandmeditations.Stepping slowly in the queue I saw notices on thewalls telling us that the

most appropriate attitude is one ofmeditation and silence. Incidentally, itwassaidthattheMotherwasclairvoyantandthatafewofthemorecritically-mindedvisitorsweresometimessentawaywithoutbeingallowedtoseetheMaster.Now as we approached the room, we saw Sri Aurobindo and the Mother

seated in thewidedoorway;on the rightand leftwere largeboxes for flowersandgifts.AtlastIsawthestrangecouple.Thequeuemovedslowly,soIcouldobserve them at my leisure. They sat in deep concentration without anymovement.SriAurobindowasawell-builtmanwithwhitehair,his facemorelike that of a European than an Indian. The broad forehead suggested greatintelligence,while thepiercingeyes looked intospace. Ihadanoverwhelmingimpressionofpowerfulmentalforcesvibratingroundthecouple.ThefaceoftheMotherwaspartlycoveredbyaveilattachedtohersari.Icouldnotseehereyes.Thesameintensiveconcentrationwasexpressedbyherwholefigure.ShelookedevenolderthantheMasterhimself,whowasthenabout74years,asoneoftheinmatesoftheAshraminformedme.WhenIwasonlyadozenfeetaway,Ihadastrange feeling in my throat and neck as if they were stiff and paralysed.CertainlyatthatmomentIcouldnothavespokenawordormadeanymovementotherthansteppingslowlyinthequeue.Butmymindwasworkingasclearlyas

usual, for I thought of an astral protecting spherewithwhich some occultistscover themselves. I am not at all susceptible to so-called hypnotic suggestionandcouldneverbehypnotized.Therewasnocloudingofmyconsciousness,butitseemedasifmyphysicalbodywasboundbyaninvisibleforce.Thestrangefeeling continued until I had passed another dozen or so steps away from thepair.TheneverythingwasrestoredtonormalandIregainedtheabilitytospeakif I wished, for complete silence reigned as the line passed the Master andMother.ThatwasallIfeltinthepresenceofSriAurobindo.Therewasnotraceofthat

sublime spiritual atmosphere felt in the presence of Sri Maharshi, or of thatwonderfulinnercontactandlivinginspirationwhichradiatefromtheRishi.Itisnot my intention to make comparisons, for I spoke with some disciples wholookedupontheirMasterAurobindowithgreatvenerationandlove,andIhavenodoubtaboutthebeneficialinfluencetheyfeltathisfeet.ButeachtypeofmanneedshisownMasterandthisonewasnotmine.ThatisallIcansay.LaterIvisitedthewell-stockedbook-shopoftheAshram,anditslibrary,and

was somewhat astonished to find, besides well-known works of the Masterhimself, many former friends known to me in the past—popular works onWestern andEastern occultismandphilosophy andon the development of thehiddenpowersinman.TheyweremostlyinFrenchandEnglish,andthereweretextbooksaboutconcentrationandmeditation,andevenonhypnotism.Butnowallthesefascinatingthingshadlosttheircharmforme.IrealizedthatIwasnolonger interested in anything unconnected with my Path. It seemed as ifknowledgeoftheDirectPathasshownbymyMastersubconsciouslyexcludedall else. It meant that the desires of the mind, which is always eager toinvestigate everything, hadbegin todisappear.Vasanas—to a certaindegree—hadlosttheirpoweroverme.NowIunderstoodfromwhencecamethispeaceofmind,Ihadsoughtforsomanyyears.ThiscomparisonofmypastandpresentwasthelastofitskindandwasperhapstheonlyprofitIgainedfrommyvisittoPondicherry.In the evening I took part in themeditations andworship performed in the

largehalloftheAshram.Everythingproceededsmoothlyandharmoniouslyandwas full of deep symbolical meaning. Scores of white-robed disciples andvisitors filled the vast room.Then theMaster appearedwith theMother for ashort time. Full of dignity and powerful concentration, his face showedsolemnity and inspiration. But in spite of all this my real being was absenthundreds of miles to theWest, in a temple built of grey Indian granite—forthere, seen through tiny streams of violet incense, amidst a few disciples anddevotees sat theOne,nearing theendofhis earthlydays, towhomagracious

Providence had shownme theway in this fateful period ofmy life.Onewhokindles and sheds around an invisible mystical light, reviving within us thememoryofthesamelighthiddeninthedepthsofourownhearts.Beyondalltheoriesandteachingsofthemindisthislight.Wewhosatbefore

theSageofArunachaladerivefromithelpforeveryneed.Fromthislightcanbedrawn all knowledge that can be expressed in the language of themind. Thislightisthesourceofall initiation,andnoscripturecanbeproperlyunderstoodwithoutit,andnorealPeaceattained.For it is theCentre,andfrom itariseallrayswhichpiercethedarknessofthematerialworld.Theredidnot appear tobeany ill-feelingon thepartof thedisciplesofSri

Aurobindo towards the ‘Jungle Ashram’ as the abode of Sri Maharshi wassometimes called. Moreover many pupils from Pondicherry visitedTiruvannamalaiandsatatthefeetoftheGreatRishiandhadtalkswithhim.Thesefactsarenotedindialoguesrecordedinthediariesofsomeinmatesof

theAshram and some valuable articleswere contributed by two pupils of SriAurobindotothebookTheGoldenJubileeSouvenir,publishedby theAshramofSriMaharshiontheoccasionofhiscompletionoffiftyyearsspentatthefootofArunachala.

*At lastMaharshi returned to the temple hall, and itwas possible to resume

meditationinhispresence.

CHAPTERXXIII

TheDarshanResumed

Itisthemorningmeditation.Thetemplehallisfull.Iseemanynewfaces,notonlyIndian,butfromotherlandsaswell.InthispeculiaratmosphereofIndiaitiseasytounderstandthefeelingsofthosegatheredaroundthedepartingSaint.Ialmostventuretosaythatitwouldnotbedifficultto‘see’thethoughtsofeverysinglepersoninthehall.Butthiskindofcuriosityorexperimenthasnoplaceinthissacredabode.Itwouldbeasacrilege.Onethingisclear:wetakefarewelloftheMaharshi,eachoneaccordingtohis

owncapacity.Theformofitdoesnotmatter.WeareallunitedatthefeetoftheMasterinadorationand—inSilence.Nearme, I see an elderly European gentleman, dressed only in a shirt and

navy-blue shorts,with a rosary round his neck.He has probably spent a longtime in India, for his skin is uniformly brownish in hue. Short grey hair andmoustacheadornathinandsomewhatsadface.HeislookingattheMasterwitha certain immobility as if trying to engrave Maharshi’s features on his mindforever. He seems to be aware that it is the last time that he will be able tocontemplatetheGuru’scountenance.HeleftaftertwodaysandIhavenotseenhimsince.Duringourcommonmeals,hesat in the farthestcornerof thehall,had his own spoon, fork and plates, took only a few dishes, and had milkspeciallyservedforhim,asithadbeenforme.YogiRamiah,immovableincontemplation,withafaceasifcutfromgranite,

issittingathisMaster’sfeet,surroundedbyBrahminsoftheAshramstaff.An elderly lady, just opposite me, is gazing intently at Maharshi with an

expressionofboundlessdevotion,butalsoofdespairandakindofinnerrevolt,asifsheisunabletoacceptthecertaintythatsoonshewillnolongerseehiminhisearthlyform.AndMaharshi?Afterthisnewoperation,heisthinnerthanever;thefeatures

seemtobetransparent,thecolourofhisfacemorefair,asiftherewerenothingearthly about him. A statue, an abstraction incarnate, if this expression canconvey any meaning. No, it is the spirit, which, from the sphere of matter,returnstoitsownrealm,andisonlyinaverylooseandsubtlewayintouchwithwhatweseeasthephysicalbodyoftheSaint.Hispeaceispermeatingeverythingallroundus.Therearenomoreunsolved

problems,nounfulfilleddesires,nomovementsinmyconsciousness.It isnowclear that there is noneedof thinking as it seemedbefore—for thinking is anunnecssary,purposelessthing.

Whatisitthatconcernsmenow?Whatishappeningtome?Whereisthatmanwhohadaname,andmanythoughts?Allthisnowseems

sofarfrom—‘Me’Oh,ifIcouldonlyholdthisstateatanycost,andnotreturntotheworldofshadowsandillusions!IfIcouldonlyremaininthissilencewhereinthereisno‘I’and‘you’,notime,nospace!Thelight isnowpouringout insuchabundancethateverythingis inundated

byIt.Theopeneyesseenothingbutlight.Iknowthatthisform,nowsoforeigntome,seemsnottobreatheanymore.

Woulditsbreathdisturbthepeaceofeternity?Idonotknow.Inthislighttheboundariesofthe‘past’andthe‘future’arevanishing,bothare

now like open plains. No, it is not true, for the momentary awe before theopeningofthegreatgatenowgiveswaytothehappinessofawarenessthattimedoesnotexistanymore.Likealightningflashcometomymemory,thewordsoftheRevelationofSt.John:‘…thatthereshouldhetimenolonger’.Yes,Inowrealizethattruelifeisindependentoftime,andthatifwearestill

living in time, it is not real life. Resurrection, that unfathomable mystery,becomesarealizedtruth,hereinthisinvisiblelight.Everything is adjusted, united, corresponding each to the other in full

harmony.Onlywordsfail toexpresswhatonesees.Merefragments remain inthe brain, which serves as amedium to put these bits together and transformthemintocoherentthoughtsandwords.But—thenwearenomore‘there’.

*How long thisnewstate lasts I donotknow, for ‘there’ it canbemeasured

neither inhours, nor even in secondsof time. In this state there is no thoughtaboutitall,andtheintuitionalcertaintythatassoonasIallowevenonethoughttoentermymind,Ishallfallback‘here’,whereIdonotwanttoreturn,helpsmetostayinthiscontemplation.Butafterwards,Iamunabletorememberthisstateclearly; probably contact with the mind was completely severed, so that nobridgeremained.

*Inowfindmyselfsittingbyoneofthecolumnsinthehallandlookingalmost

withwonder at everything aroundme.My first thought is: ‘Shall I be able torepeatthisplungeintosilenceagain?ShallInotforgetthepathwhichleadstothatland?’Butthemindhasnotyetrecovereditsusualalertness,andIamnotatall anxious to return to it. The blissful state of inner silence and peace stillcontinues.Thenfromthevioletsmokeof the incenseMaharshi’sfaceemergesbeforemyeyes.Thesamemotionlessgazelooksintothevastbeyond,butwithonedifference:itseemsthatatthesametime,heislookingintomyinnerbeingaswellandseeingwhatIexperiencedamomentago.Yes,Iamcertainthathe

knowsallofit.WhoelsecouldseeifnotMaharshi?Imayhavebeenaguestforamoment,inthelandwherehepermanentlydwells.Nowamutebutintenseprayerflashesoutofmywholebeing:‘Oh,takeme

there!DoallowmetoliveforeverinthatblessedLand!Idonotcareanymoreforthisillusoryworld.Ishallgladlystepthroughthegateofdeathifsuchbethecondition’.I see thathe isnowdefinitely lookingatmeand the answer is ready inhis

luminouseyes.Theunreasonableoutburst is stilled. I amnow reconciledwithwhatisunavoidable.Iknowthatallisandmustbeforthebest.Everythingwillcomeinduetime,justastimeisneededfortheripeningofafruit,forthechangeofachrysalisintoabutterfly.

*Thesoundofthegongisheard.EveryonestandsupwhenMaharshi,withthe

assistanceofhisattendants,getsupandgoestowardsthedoor.Itisthehourofthenoonmeal.Maharshiisalwaysinsistentonperfectequalityonthephysicalplane.Oneof

its expressions is his care about aperfectly equaldistributionof food.SeveraltimesIhavewitnessedhispersonal intervention,whentheshareofoneortwoamongthenumerousguestsseemedtohimtobesmallerthanthatoftheothers.Onemorningwhenwefoundonourleaves,besidestheusualrice-cakes,somefruit—abanana,afewpiecesoforangeandapple—theSagebrokehissilence,habitualduringmeals,andsaidafewwordstotheservingBrahmininanalmostseveretone.HereIsawwhatatremendoussignificancetheslightesthintoftheMaster has for all who are near him as inmates of the Ashram. The poorBrahminrushedtomyleaf,beggedmetoexcusehimand,shyashewas,seizeditwithall itscontentsandtookit toshowtotheMaharshi.AtfirstIcouldnotunderstandwhatitallmeant,butIsoonrealizedthattheSagewascountingthefruitonmyleafandcomparingthenumberwiththoseonhisown.Assoonashesaw that the quantity was the same, he addressed the serving Brahmin moregraciously,making a gesture inmydirection.Theman answered a fewwordsvisibly.comfortedtohavejustifiedhimselfbeforethehighesttribunal,andthenhebroughtbackmybreakfast.To those who have not witnessed this little scene and have not known the

Master personally, it might seem insignificant or even naïve. But Maharshiknowshumanheartswith all theirweaknesses and imperfections.That iswhytheremedieswhichheadministers,whenhejudgesitproper,neverfailintheirresults. What could be more encouraging and comforting than to see such asimple friendly gesture on the part of a spiritual giant like him? I understoodonlylaterthemeaningofitall.

In spite of the usual unvarying, extremely kind and friendly attitude of theSaint,oneisrathershyinhispresence,especiallyinthebeginning,andthismaybecome a hindrance to one’s inner approach.Our intuitionwhispers to us thetremendousdifferenceinthelevelsbetweenourselvesandhim.But theMaharshi discards this unbecoming and egocentric attitude without

words,showingbyhisownexamplewhatshouldbeourbehaviourwithothers.

CHAPTERXXIV

Initiations

WheninthepresenceoftheMasterourmindceasestobeahindrancetoseeingreality,therecomesthedawnofanewintuitionalunderstandingofallspiritualteaching given in the far-off ‘past’, aswell as in our own days by thosewhoThemselveshaverealizedthetruth.I notice that, unexpectedly formyself, questions and problemswhich some

time ago were unintelligible or postponed for later solution have solvedthemselves.Firstofall,thewishto‘reconcile’theseteachingsintellectuallyhasdisappeared. I now see how shallow and futile is such a wish to judge andcompare systems and their particular goals, given in different times and todifferentracesofhumanity.Itwasmymaniasometimeago.Iwantedtofindatany cost some definite and comfortable synthesis, and cling to it formy ownsatisfaction.NowIseethatitleadsnowhere,thatitisasheerwasteoftimeandawanderingindarkness,forsuchanobjectivesynthesiscannotexist.Ontheotherhand I see that there are asmany paths as there are different consciousnessesmanifestedinoneoranotherformofexistent life.Afriendonceexpressedtheopinionthattherearemanywaysofapproachingtheonebeing,andthateverylesson ultimately leads to truth. I now see the basic tragic misunderstanding.What is it that we have to know? Is it the innumerable varieties of materialforms, or our individual reactions to them? It is clear that such a process ofacquiring knowledge never finds fulfilment; as each manifested formcorresponds to some thought, so each thought is accompaniedby anew form,anothersubjectforourexaminationandour‘knowledge’.Whycannotpeopleunderstandthissimple truth?There isnot,norcan there

be,anyhopeofacquiringobjectiveknowledgeaboutalltheformsofexistence,andtherecanbenoendtosuchanendeavour.Thegoalwouldrecedefurtherandfurther,andnoonewouldeverseeitsend.Maharshisays:‘To try to know the forms which exist in time and space would be as

nonsensicalasforaman,whohasjustbeenshavedorhadhishaircut,tobroodoverthefateofeachofthesehairs’.Theywillbethrownintoadust-binorburned.Ineithercasetherewillbeno

further contact between them and their original owner. The past is also anillusionofthetransientimagination;itcanneverreturn,norrepeatitsmeaningforthosewhowereonceitsactors.Inthisfactwediscoverwhyandhowhumanbeingsareapttoaddsomuchtothebitternessandsufferingoftheirlives.Theyfor ever chewover the cudof past experiences,whichdonot exist anymore,

thusmissingthemeaningoftheNow.Theyliveinthepastinsteadofplungingintothepresentandlivingittothefull.Self-knowledgeorrealizationstopstheseaimlesserrings.IknowthattimeandspacedonotexistfortheSagewhoIamnowfacing,andIseeinthisfactajoyoushopeformyself.Thisisaninitiation.I know the life of the Maharshi in all its details, as given by his nearest

followersintheirvariouswritings.WhiletheyoungRamana,stillathomewithhisparents,wasreadingthehistoryof thesixty-threesaintsof theSaivitecult,therearosespontaneouslywithinhisheartafirmdeterminationtobecomeoneofthem. Similarly when one is looking at Maharshi, the only desire left in ourheartsistobecomelikehim.Apowerwhichcannotbecomparedwithanythingin theworld compels us to see our highest and final goal in unitingwith theconsciousnessoftheSage.Andforonemomentthisvisionbecomesreality.Forsilenceisoneandall-embracing.AlllifeismergedinIt,andeverythingthatisbeyondthislife—theunchangeableandinfinitelyblissful,withnoqualitiesandtherefore,withnolimitations.Thewordsofoneoftheless-knownWesternmysticsarereallytrue,whenhe

saysthatGodandtrutharesosimple,andatthesametimesodazzling,thatifHewouldmanifestHimselfinallHisshiningsplendour,noplanetcouldstandit,butwouldinstantlybeturnedtoashes.Itmaybeanallegory,butIknowthatitcontainsamystictruth.Itisaninitiation.Here,atthefeetoftheSage,Ihavemadepeacewiththeworld.Ithasceased

to be an alien giant, incomprehensible in all its endless intricacies.And thosewhomIseeasmennolongerappearasseparateandforeignbeings,forthesameinnermostandunchangingprinciplewhich resides inmealsodwells inallmybrethren.ThisfeelingisawakenedbypractisingMaharshi’sinstruction:‘Whenyoumeetsomeonethinkdeeply:ItisGodwhodwellsinthisbody’.Thencomesinitiationforever.

CHAPTERXXV

AMusicalPerformanceintheTempleHall

Today I noticed, near to the column oppositeMaharshi’s couch, two woodenboxes covered with coloured Indian rugs. Two men dressed in North Indianfashionweresittingnearthem.ThelibrarianoftheAshram,anelderlyBrahmin,with whom I had long conversations during his office hours in the Library,informedmethatintheafternoontherewastobearecitalofreligiousmusicinthepresenceofMaharshi,andthatthenewcomerswerewell-knownartistswhowouldplayonsmallharmoniumsoftheirownconstruction.Thetemplehallwasfullthatafternoon,asrarelyhappened.Themusicians,aftertheusualprostrationbeforetheSage,begantheirprogramme.Oneledonalargerinstrument,givingthemelody,andtheotheraccompaniedhim.ItwasastrangemixtureofclassicalmotifswithpurelyEasterninterpolations,somewhat likethesongswhichweresungduringthenightmeditationbythepupilsoftheMaster.Maharshi was sitting as usual in a kind of deep concentration on some

infinitelydistantsubjectanddidnotappeartobelisteningveryattentivelytothemusic. After about an hour the musicians concluded their recital, once moreprostratedbeforeMaharshi,andthensatquietlyamongtheotherdevotees.Iwaskeenlyinterestedastothemannerinwhichtheyplayedtheirharmoniums.Thefirsthardlyseemedtotouchthekeys,whilehiscompanionappearedtomovehisfingersabovethebox,whichapparentlydidnothaveanykeysatall,atanyrateIdidnotseeanyfromthepositionwhereIwassitting.Ihadonceheardaboutanelectricharmonium,whichemittedsoundas themusician’s fingersapproachedit,hiswayofmoving themandtheirdistancefromthe instrumentdeterminingthetoneswhichcameforth.IsitpossiblethattheseIndianartistshadusedsuchan instrument? But I had not noticed any wires linking their boxes with thepowerpointsinthehall,wherebyelectricitycouldhavebeenobtained.After the nightmeditation, Iwas accosted at the door by one of the young

attendants,whoinformedmethattherewastobeafilmshowaftersupper.Heaskedme to invite someof theotherEuropeans andAmericans staying in theneighbourhood. At about 8 p.m. the hall was full of activity. In one of thecorners a screen was placed; in another was a small projector; severaltechnicianswereatwork.MyWestern friends came early. I found a good place on awindow-sill for

myselfandaBombayfriend,MissNalini,withwhomIhadmanytalksduringherstaynear theAshram.Ayounggirlof fifteenor sixteen, thedaughterofaricharistocraticfamilyfromCalcutta,alsojoinedus.

InoticedthepresenceoftheofficialhierarchyofthetownofTiruvannamalai—theSuperintendent of Police, a giant in khaki uniform, theDistrictMedicalOfficer,andseveraladvocatesandJudgesofthelocalCourts.After some adjustments the show began. The films were concerned with

Maharshi’slife,andshowedhiminmanydifferentscenes—climbingthesacredhillofArunachala,walkingintheAshramcompound,ortakingpartinsomeofits festivities. The films, chiefly coloured, were quite good, the figure of theSaint being in natural and vivid colours. I recognized many of the peoplesurroundinghim, suchas the same indispensableSuperintendentofPoliceandsomeoftheBrahminsoftheAshramstaff.AgroupofIndianScoutswerealsoseen taking meals in the Maharshi’s presence. An American lady, a ferventadmireroftheSage,waswalkingjustbehindhiminseveralofthefilms.Maharshigazedattheshowwithanalmostimperceptible,kindlittlesmileon

hishabituallyseriousface.AndIcouldnothelpbutthink:‘SothefigureoftheSainthasalreadybeen“immortalized”forfuturegenerations.Butthiswillnevercompensateforhislivingpresence,thisblessingthatwenowhavewithusforsoshortatime’.

CHAPTERXXVI

ApartfromtheMind

‘Thereforethemanasisthecauseofthebondageofthisindividualandalsoofitsliberation.Themanaswhenstainedbypassionisthecauseofbondage,andofliberationwhenpure,devoidofpassionandignorance’.

Sankaracharya,Viveka-Chudamani,Verse176

Around theAshram’s temple is a broad terrace of concrete and stone.After 9p.m. life in thebigcompoundisalmoststill,and the temple itself isdarkened.Maharshi sleeps in the hall, which is separated from the temple proper by amassive gate of iron grid, artistically fashioned in Indian style. Besides theMaster, there are always one or two attendantswho never leave him, and arereadytogiveanyservicerequired.Thisismostnecessarynowthathishealthissoprecarious.Somenights,whenthemoonshedsitslightoverthesilentpaths,Icomehere

frommyroomandsitquietlyon theclean-swept terrace.Still figuresof somenative country visitors recline asleep on the sandy area before the dining-hall,andtheAshram’spoolliespeacefullybeforeme.I find the spot appropriate for meditation. Perhaps the awareness of the

Master’spresenceonlyafewdozenyardsaway,addssolemnitytomythoughts.Among many things learned at his feet, there is one of overwhelmingimportance,whichIwishtoenlargeonhere.Four years ago, when I read Paul Brunton’s account of an ecstatic state of

consciousness which he experienced in the presence of the Great Rishi,describingitasbeingapartfromthethinkingmind, itwasratheranenigmatome.Howcouldonebeapartandindependentofhisownmentality?NowIhaveproveditpossiblebyexperience.It was said earlier, that after my arrival at the Ashram I stopped all my

previous exercises. This was done because I felt with utter certainty that theprecioustimespentherewithmyMastershouldbemorewiselyused.Exercisescould be performed later, if need be. But here and now, I must take theopportunityoflearningwhatmightotherwisebeimpossible.AfterthefatefulexperiencedescribedinChapterXXIII,IrealizedthatIcould

be separated from my thinking apparatus, and that my consciousness orawareness of being, was far from being obliterated. Life flowed on withouthindrance,thoughthemindwaswithoutthought.Inowknewthatthe‘I-Current’isindependentofthought,andyeteveryprocessofthoughtisproducedfromIt.This is one of the highest initiations throughwhich one passeswhen in the

presenceoftheMaster.Yearsago,afterlong,tediousinstructionthatthemindmustbesubduedbefore

any rayof light can reachone, Ibeganmyendless exercises in thatdirection,withfeelingsofpainanduncertainty.NowIseewhy.Theregionbeyondmindwas, for me at that time, an unexplored land—an emptiness. Then I wascompletely devoid of this self-conscious power, the awareness of which wasborn with the mysterious help of Maharshi. The former method of using themindwas like thedangerous situationofaman inchargeofanelectricmotorwhichisrunninghot,andwhodoesnotknowwheretofindtheswitchtostopit.Can theaverageman stophis thinkingmachinewhenhewishes?Doesamanuseamachinewhichheisunabletocontrol?Whatishumanitydoing?Themind—thatmost subtle and essential powerwhichwe have beforewe

discoverourtrueSelf—remainsuncontrolledanditsswitchunknown.Itleadsuswhereitwill,oftendownblindalleysandbypaths.ButourtrueSelfknowsall.ThefirstraysofItslightgavemecontrolofthatmysterious‘sitch’.Nowdoubtanduncertaintyhavegone.

*NowmyeyesareopenandIseethesilverywateroftheAshram’spool,while

above,whitecloudsdriftacrosstheskywiththemoonrisingbetweenthem.Myouter ears hear thə muffled cries of far-off owls, but all this is outside myconsciousness. I am aware that my physical self is in contact with the outerworld,butwithin,thetrue‘I’reignsinstillness.Iwouldnotacceptallthewealthoftheuniverseforthisstillness.Iknowthatitisthefoundationwhichwillnotbelostwhentheworldofthesensescrumbles.Thisstillnesshasnodesires.Itisindependentofall.WhenIttakestheforegroundofmyconsciousness,allthatIoncethoughtofas‘myself’,vanishes.Onecannotsee‘It’forthesimplereasonthatinthatstatenothingbutitexists.Thewords ‘diving’ and ‘merging’, often used in attempting to describe this

state, areunsuitable, for they suggest something separate, andanentering intosomething unknown. The experience itself is quite different. One then is thisstillnessandnothingelse.Oneisthenstrippedofallveilsandonlytheessenceremains.

*Astrangeconditionbeginstodevelopinme.IlookontheMouniSadhuason

anobject,andthisoutershellisnotbyanymeansthemostimportant:hesitsandbreathes,andbloodcirculatesinhisveins.Iseemanythoughtsaroundthemind—likeaswarmofbees trying toenter theirhive—but thestillness, thesilenceforbidsinvasion.Iknowthatthenextstageofconsciousnesswillbringmetothevanishingof

thisvisibleworld.Somemonthsago,thisvanishinginvariablybroughtmeagapintheawarenessoftheLifeflowinginme.Butnowitisdifferent.IknowthatIcannotlosetheconsciousnessofthis‘I-Current’inmeanymore.EverythingcanandwillpassbutIam!Nameless,formless,theonlyonlooker

—Iam—Iexist.Persistenceinthisstateiseffortless,butstrangelyenoughIknowthatformy

visiblecounterpart,thereisgreateffort,andmostofallformymind-brain.Ifeelthat it is literallystrainingunderthevibratorypowerofthesenewandhithertounknowncurrentsofconsciousness.NowIrealizewhyIcannotremainforeverinthem.Myouterform,andespeciallythebrain,cannotyetbearit.SoImustreturnfromthisrealmofsilence.Butawarenessof it,thoughdim

andimperfect,stillremainsthroughthat‘return’.Theawarenessofthiscurrentisthepowerwhichmakesitpossibleforthese

experiencesbeyondthemindtobetransmittedandexpressedonpaper.Thefactishardtoconvey,buttheknowledgethatthemindisnotme,istheverysourceofthisability.Putsimply,ifIcanordermyinvoluntarythinkingtostop,andcansee theaccomplishedfact, then,hewhogives theorder isme.Theequation issolved.Themysteriousunknownquantity‘X’isfound.DuringthefollowingnightsItriedtofindMyselfwhileinthestateofphysical

sleep.As I presumed, itwas farmoredifficult thanwhen I attempted itwhileawake;forthenIcouldcontrolthemindasindependentofthephysicalbodyandbrain.Insleepmyphysicalcounterpartisinadifferentcondition,whichhasnotyetbeenbroughtunderdiscipline.AtthetimeIcouldnotfindanyhintastohowthethingwastobeaccomplished.Butsometimesonawakening,IrememberthatImust have had a certain kind of awareness of‘I’while asleep. Intuition—thesoundlessvoice—whispersthatthesolutionwillcomeinduecourse.Sothereisnoneedtohastenitprematurely.

*ThepresenceoftheMasterisnowfeltevenwhenIcannotseehim—whenI

amawayfromthehall.Howcanthisbe?Theprocessofseekingwhilethemindisstill,conveystometheTruth,whichIseeasifinaflashoflight.TheMasterisnotthebodywhichIseeeverydayonthecouchinthetemple.

Heisthisstillness—thesilenceitself,inwhichIrealizemyself.Thisknowledgeimmediately bringsme peace, for it is not knowledge of themind, it is truthitself.Adescriptionoftruthcannothelpus.Itmustbelivedandexperienced.Thatis

why I lost all interest in books written by those who themselves have notexperiencedtruth,andhaveonlybuilttheoriesbasedonmentalconceptions.Tome,theyarelifelessanduseless.

Truthislife.Theyareneverseparated.Itiscleartomethatwherethereisnolife,therecannotbetruth.SoImustsay,goodbyetomyoldcompanions—books—fortheycannothelpmeanymore.Afew,whichcontainrealexperience,arealways in my memory. They confirm what I have now experienced, and ingratitudetothem,Iquotefromtheminmydiary.Theyhelpedmeatappropriatetimesandtheymaydothesameforthereader.AtaboutmidnightIreturntomyroom,anIndiancatiswaitingformeonthe

darkpathsoftheAshram’scompound.Iregularlygiveherfood,mostlyriceandmilk,andstrokehershortwhite-greyfur.ApparentlyIamtheonlyonetowhomthehalf-wildlittleanimalallowssuchintimacy:sherunsawayfromothers.Ingratitudeshecarefully inspectsmyroomanddevours theunwelcomebig

redspiderswhichoftenpaytheirrespectstomeatnight.Sowearegoodfriends.

CHAPTERXXVII

StrayLeaves

ThefollowingpagesreflectdifferentmoodsandstatesofmindexperiencedbymeduringmystayintheAshram.Readingthemnow,throughtheperspectiveofalmostoneyear,Iseethechangeswhichwere,andstillaretakingplaceinthebeingcalled‘me’.Ihaveputthesefragmentstogetherintoonechapter,astheyaremostlyshortandofafleeting,sporadiccharacter.Mywholeattitudetowardstheworldandhumanbeingschangedgreatly,asI

havementioned before, but thesemodifications took place spontaneously andalmostunconsciously.Ifirstnoticedthatmybehaviourundercertainconditionshadformerlybeenquitedifferent,andthatnowthoseverysituationsappearedtomeinquiteanotherlight.Thedesireforsynthesishadnowbecomethedominantnoteofmymoods;desiretoattainsuchastateofconsciousnessaswouldenablemetoseeeverythinginitstruelight,withnopersonalcolouring.IfeltthatsuchalevelexistsandIwantedtofinditatanycost.Ialsoknewthatitwouldnotbefoundintherealmofmentaltheories,forIhadchangedthosemanytimesduringthe long years of my search. This search for a synthesis would probably bepainful andaccompaniedby an intense inner conflict if experiencedanywhereotherthanintheAshram;thepresenceoftheSaintputsanendtoallintellectualstunts.Hereone’srootssimplygrowintotruth.Religiousprejudicesandocculttheorieslikewisedroppedawayofthemselves.

The field of vision around the Self cleared up. Even quite recently, from oldhabits, when I turned my thoughts to the Christ I excluded Siva. In mymeditationonthe‘Self’therewasnoplaceforBuddha.Afterthatcameaperiodwhen the figure ofMaharshi replaced all that could be known by the criticalmind.Thisstatelastedseveralweeksanditwasatimeofcarefreepeace.Itwasprobablyanecessarypreparationformoreabstractandsubtleexperiences.Afterthisperiodwasover,Inoticedthatmanymentalbarriersandhindrances

weredissolvedinanewstatewherenocontradictionexisted.ItwasduringthistimethatIpaidmyvisits to thetombof theMohammedanSaintat thefootofArunachala hill and learned that there, as well as here, one finds the samepossibilities and assistance in escaping from the bondage of one’s annoyingpersonality.The hue of the first mood which is an introduction, as it were, to further

experiences,maybesomewhatdifferent,butassoonasthechainofthoughtsisbroken, the identity is felt. That is why Maharshi repeats that all paths, ifproperlyunderstood,leadtothesamegoal.

Whatcanbebroughtbackfromthelandofsilencetobeexpressedinwords?How can one possibly convey all the modifications which take place in themoods of the experiencer? For instance, one suddenly feels a certainty of theunityofallexistenceandinthatlightthefearofdeathappearstobeabsurd.Thiskind of dissolution into or identification with thewhole is accompanied by agreatsenseofblisswhichisakintoresurrection.I immediatelyknowthat theonlywayto life is to letgoof the illusionofa

separateexistenceinthephysicaloranyotherform.Iknowthatallthechangeswhichconstitute thebasicelementof life—ratherofconsciousness limitedandenclosedinform—arenotrealbutillusoryandhencetheymustbeaccompaniedbysufferingwhichisakindofantidotetothe‘strongandintoxicatingwineofMaya’(Matter).This brings an unshakable conviction that all activity, if performed with

attachment, forgesnewchainsof existence in forms, andhencenewwavesofsuffering.Thatthereisnothingabsolutely‘necessary’,andthatalltheanxietiesconcerningthe‘futureofhumanity’oritsparticularracesandnationsaresimplyawasteofenergyandthatourforemosttaskistoknowourownlittleworld,andtofindourownrealSelf.Ofcourse,wecanbetoolsinthegreatplanwhichisrealizedbytheMostHighaccordingtoHisownwillanddesign,buttothinkthatweareperforminganyactionisasheerillusion.Oneremarkshowever,thattheword ‘we’ denotes our personality, and that it means the complex bundle ofform,mind,nameandsoon.WhenweapproachtherealSelfweseethatweareonewiththeCreator.But—howmanystepsandstagesarethereonthispath,howmany‘initations’

havewetopassthrough?

CHAPTERXXVIII

TheEyesofMaharshi

During the Darshan in the hall, there is usually no one between me andMaharshi’s couch, which means that I can contemplate his eyes with noobstaclesbetween,theirgazebeinggenerallyturnedinmydirection,andusuallylookingstraightahead.AtfirstIlackedthecouragetolookintentlyintothefaceof the Sage. Perhaps this shynesswas the last vestige of thoseworldly habitswhichdonotpermitawell-behavedperson togaze insistently into theeyesofanother.Theremayalsohavebeenanotherreason:myintuitionwaswhisperingthat those eyes saw infinitely farther than ordinary human eyes, whichmeantthatthewholecontentofmybeingwaswideopenbeforetheirgaze.Sometimewasneeded toget ridof this feelingof shyness,which in theRomanCatholicworldmakesconfessionbeforeapriestsodifficultforsomepeople.But theefforthad tobemade,and ina fewweeksallobstaclesdisappeared

and a mute, yet a thousandfold more efficacious ‘confession’ became a dailypracticeinmyinnercontactwithMaharshi.Ihadtolearn‘utterfrankness’,forwithoutthisqualitytherecannotbeanydirectspiritualapproachtotheMaster.TheeyesofMaharshialwaysseemtobe thesame, for Icannotsee in them

any modification of expression due to emotion or thought. But that does notmeanthattheyaredevoidoftheshiningglowoflife!Onthecontrary,lightandlife are constantly flowing through them with a majesty and intensityunimaginabletothosewhohavenotseenthem.Thelargedarkpupilsarealwaysfullofresplendentlight.Eveninhisphotographsthisextraordinaryintensityoflight in his eyes is noted by every careful observer, even though hemay notknowtheonetheyrepresent.Astreamofpeace,powerfulyetsweet,flowsfromtheseeyes.Theyglowwith

a perfect understandingof all theweaknesses, defects and inner difficulties ofthosewholookintothem.PersonallyIhavealsonoticedinthemaslight,almostimperceptible,smileofindulgenceforthewholesurroundingworldandallofushere,whoarerepresentativesofthe‘greatillusion’.AndwhenIlookalmostbychance into the eyes of some of the people in the hall, I see that they do notreflect in the slightest degree, even a fragment of the light which is shiningthroughMaharshi’s eyes. In comparison they seem tobealmost lifeless, and Iamnotabletogetridofthisimpression—atleastforthemomentIamunabletocontrol it—though I know thatmaking such comparisons iswrong, and that Ishould not pass judgment on others. Everyone is just what he is able to be,neithermore nor less, and life is the same in each one of us.Yet, although I

acceptthetruthofit intheory,IcannothelpfeelingthisdifferencewheneverIlookintotheeyesoftheSaintandthenhappentogazeintothoseofothers.Thisthought, althoughwrongandunjust, slips intomymind,as itwereandabidesthere until I invite it to leave by means of the well-known ‘Self-Inquiry’ or‘Vichara’.TheHighestmanifestsHimselfineverythingandeverylivingbeing,however

lowitslevelmayseemtous.Heispresentintheplantandintheinsect,inthesnake, in the animal and in man. The difference is only in the degree andperfectionofHismanifestation.Itisobviousthatweareabletoperceiveonlyaninfinitesimalpartofthemanifestedabsolute;thehigherformsofHisrevelationare beyond the reach of our limited consciousness. And yet there must besomethingjustonthislastboundaryofourperceptivefaculties,whichreflectsinallperfectionthegazeofGod.Astrangenewandpowerfulcurrentawakensinmyconsciousness.Itiswitha

kindofexpectationthatIamtryingtoholdallmyattentionabovetheoceanofchanging thoughts. I seem tohear awhisper: ‘Persevere andyouwill find theanswer’.Suddenlylightcomes,Itislikealightningflashoftremendouspower.Iamdazzled,terrified,foramomentinthefaceoftherealityseen.Of course, there is no hope of being able to convey this vision to others in

words.ButnowIamentitledtosay:‘IknowwholooksthroughMaharshi’seyes’.

CHAPTERXXIX

‘Aspergesmehyssopo…’

‘Aspergesmehyssopo—mundabor.Lavabismeaqua—etsupernivemdealbabor’‘SprinklemewithhyssopandIshallbeclean,WashmewithwaterandIshallbewhiterthansnow’.

ForthirtyyearsMaharshihasheldhis‘Office’,andperformedhismissionherein this quiet little-known corner of India, not through preaching and lecturingaboutspiritualtruth,whichhehasrealizedtosuchanamazingdegree,butbyhisverypresence.Likealoftybeaconwhosebeamspoint thewaytosafeharbourforallonthehighseaswhoaresearchingforahaven,sothisgreatRishiofIndiashedslightonthosewhohaveeyestoseeandearstohear.Day after day, year after year, he is here in the Ashram and always

approachableforallpeopleduringthegreaterpartoftheday,fullofsilenceandpeace, such as are possessed only by those who have attained the highestspiritualachievement.Thesethoughtsrushthroughmymindlikeastreamfromasourcefarawayin

thehighmountainsunknown tome. Idonot try todiscover thoseheightsas Iwouldprobablyhavetriedtodosometimeago.Why should a man seek light when he is facing its very source. This light

permeates our being through and through to give us an insight into all themistakes,andimperfectionsofour‘ego’,ourlittleinsignificantpersonality.Thepresence of the source makes it possible for the rays to penetrate our beingnaturally andmost infallibly fromwithin, as itwere, and not fromwithout Sothereisnofearofan imposition,orsuggestionofanythingfromoutside.Thenbegins theslowprocessofpurification,arisingoutof thecontemplationof thelivingexample.Inoticethatsomeofmyblundersand‘sins’whichseemedtobedeeplyrooted

during the years of my former life, have now become anachronisms, in factimpossibilities. Some inner moods, formerly rather frequent and provokingmuch suffering and conflict, are now dissolved like a distant mist. And theuncertainty,socommontoallhumanbeings—asamatteroffacttheirconstantcompanionfromthecradletothegrave—anuncertaintycoveredupbyallkindsof theories, religious practices, and themembership of different organizationsfoundedandguidedbymenasblindastheythemselves,isslowlydisappearingfrommyconsciousnessandgivingwaytothedawnofanewlife.

Sittingeveryday,aslongasIcan,atthefeetoftheSage,Ihaveneitherthetimenordesireforacarefulanalysisofthechangestakingplaceinmybeing.Iknow that whatever is happening should be so. I also know that I have tostrugglewithalltheobstaclesimposedbytheunrealworld,whichseemtopullmebacktoroadsIhaveleftandtoleadmeastray.Butallinvain.Whenonceweclearlyrealizethatthesewereby-waystherecannotbeanyreturntothem.Mypersonality, of course, is not quite happy about it all, for it has to keep silentduringthesehoursoverwhichitwasformerlyanall-powerfulruler.The thought of ‘salvation’, so oftendimming the sight of thosewho seek a

selfish‘heaven’,nowseemsridiculous.Thereal‘salvation’willcomewhentheveryobjectseekingsalvationdisappears.Theactivityoftheperversementalpoisonmanifestingitselfinacomparison

ofoneselftoothersisalsodyingout.Andtherealmeaningofthewordsofallgreat teachers of humanity from time immemorial, and repeated inmany erasandindifferentforms,seemstoopenbeforemyunderstanding.Why cannot the world perceive this one and the same Essence of Their

teachings?WhydoesitgiveitsnarrowinterpretationtoTheirwords,tosuititsownconvenienceandtoavoidaleffort?OnceMaharshi,whenasked‘Whatistheprimordialsin’spokenofbyoneof

the great religions of the world, answered: ‘It is the illusion of a separatepersonalexistence’.Thatisindeedthesourceandrootofallblundersandsufferings.Intruthwhat

canbeexpectedfromwithdrawingintoanarrowcircleofselfishpersonallife?Onlyanunavoidabledestructionofthemanwhoishimselfputtingaswordintothehandsofdeath,whosedutyistoannihilatethatwhichreallyhasneverbeenmorethannothingness.Iseethatthewritingofthesefragmentsofmymeditationstakesfarmoretime

than my consciousness needed to realize them during the time of the actualexperience.Itissomewhatsimilartoafilmactually,inwhichonlysecondsandminutes are needed to take individual scenes and events, while it requires anhourorsotocontemplatethecompletedproduct.Mynextthoughtis:‘Whylookatthefilmatall?’

*Thisevening,whenleavingthehallaftermeditation,Istoppedonthestepsof

thetemplefacingthedriveleadingoutoftheAshramcompoundtothehighroad.In the infinite spaces of the starry sky innumerable universes are scattered,lookingdownonourEarth,alwaysthesame,alwaysdistantandyetnowsonear.These immensities, these infinitiesofspace,no longerevoke inmefeelingsofnothingnessastheydidwhenIbelievedintherealityoftheirexistence.Itwas

anillusionwhichiscreatedwhenwelookateverythingfromthepointofviewofourownimpermanentphysicalform.Butwhenthebeliefintherealityofourbodyvanishes,thewholefilmoftheCosmosappearstobenothingmorethanitreallyis:Aplayoflightandshadow.

CHAPTERXXX

ArunachalabyNight

To-nightaftermeditationinthehall,IwenttothehillandsatonarockwhichhadprobablyrolleddownfromthehigherpartsofSiva’smountaintothebedofthe stream, which during the rainy season rushes behind the Ashram’scompound. The night was calm and hot, and in the east rain clouds weregathering, clouds from the ocean that were slowly moving towardsTiruvannamalai.TheoutlinesofArunachalapeakwereclearcutandsharpagainstthesky.The

lower,massivebodyof thehill remained invisible,wrapped in thedarknessofnight. Ihavenever failed to feel thestrangemagnetic influenceofArunachalaeveninitsvisibleform.AtfirstIcouldnotrationallyexplainwhatrelationtherecouldbebetweenMaharshiandthehill,forIknewthattheSagewasfarbeyondallspecialbeliefs,andthatheregardedthewholeworldasanillusionandaplayof our physical senses. And yet it was undeniable that even in his books hementionsArunachalawith the highest reverence and love. It ismysterious, atleast for those who have not fathomed the symbolism of this strange SouthIndianhill.InthisquietnightmeditationIdecidedtousethenewly-discoveredmethodof

perceiving that which is imperceptible to the ordinary mental faculties. Thismethodconsistsinapreliminarypurificationofthemindofallthoughts,leavingonlytheintentionofgettingintotouchfrom‘within’,asitwere,withthedesiredobject of cognition. Afterwards what is translatable into the language of themind is transmitted to it. In otherwords, intuition has to provide light from asourcewhichthemindcannotreach.ThepowerfulmagnetismofArunachalamakes thewholeprocesseasier.As

soonasIplungedintomeditation,discardingallobjectsfrommysight,IbegantoseethatforwhichIhadbeensearching.Firstofallbecameclearthewell-knownoccultlawthat—‘Everythinghasits

corresponding form ofmanifestation.in different worlds’. Hence that which isthespiritualessenceofArunachalacanhaveitsreflectiononthephysicalplane,justasthatwhichconstitutestherealmanhasitscorrespondingcounterpartonthe visible plane in this form which is called ‘man only through illusion.Obviously something had to be created on this earth for the sake of earthlybeings,toremindthemoftheirimmortalheritageintheonlyrealsphere,thatoftheSpirit.Hindus,accordingtotheirreligiousconceptionscall‘That’the‘Formof Siva’, and so on. They say that in remotest times, when humanity was

beginning its existence on our globe, Siva himself appeared on the summit ofArunachalaasacolumnof livingfire.WhyshouldInotaccept thissymbolasmeaningthatspirit-lifeintimeburstsforthfromthemortalvehiclewhereithasbeenhidden?Ihavealwaysseentheparamountneedforresurrection.Sothesymbolofthis

hill, this mass of immovable physical matter, whose peak throws forth intoheavenaflashoffire,revealstomeitsrealmeaning.Tome,astomanyothers,Arunachalawas,andis,asign-postonthePath.Lateron,Ialsodevotedagooddealoftimetoanattempttounderstandwhat

MaharshihimselfexpressedinhisshortandconcisestyleaboutthequalitiesofArunachala.Mostinterestingwashisassertionthateventhementalimageofthesacredhillisenoughtostopthefatalroundofendlessthoughtswhichmakesourapproach to truth and realization impossible. That same night, I proved byexperiencethatthiswasright.Maharshialsosaid:‘Arunachaladestroysattachmenttoworldlythings,thatis

totheobjectsofphysicalillusion’.ThisIprovedlater,whenIfoundthateverytimeArunachalawasmentionedordescribedbythosewhoregardeditas theirbeacon, I felt thisworldly illusiondisappearing frommy thoughts, falling intotheshadowsofunreality,whichistheirtruesource.Ialsosoonunderstoodthatitisnotwisetoacceptonlythosethingswhichare

translatableintothelanguageofthemind.Everymaninordertosupplementthestock of physical energy in his body, thus enabling it to rebuild its worn-outparticles,andassure itsgrowthanddevelopment,must take theproperamountandquality of food, but it is not necessary for him to remember the chemicalcontent of eachmorsel he swallows. Even science has asserted that themorenatural is the process of eating, and the more unconscious and without anyinterferencefromthemind,thebetteritisforourbody.IfArunachalacanbeagreathelp,apowerfulimpulseinmyspiritualprogress,

what does itmatter if I amunable to get a clear analysis of the process?Themost importantones in theUniverseaswellas inourownconsciousness takeplaceinanaturalandsimpleway.Isitnotahintandalessontoallthosewhoareseekingtruth,notfromcuriosityorpassionforexperiments—termswhichinthis casewouldbe improper—but simplybecause they cannot help it, since ithasbecometheirverylife?ThepeakofArunachalapointsthewayupwards,awayalwaysthesameand

unchangeablethroughouttheages.ItspeakstousinthelanguageofsilenceasMaharshidoes.Whatisthelinkandrelationbetweenthem?Ionlyknowthatthemysterious—touse theworldly term—atmosphereof the sacredhill hasmademeexperiencetherealityofspiritualinfluences,whichalwayscometouswhen

thetimeisripe.Withoutdefiniteexperienceofthiskindwecouldnothaveanycertainty on the path.Theorieswill fall into dust at the first trial, or theywillsimplybeforgottenasunabletohelpinourstruggle.Theyhavethesamesourceas the mind which is, according to the Sage of Arunachala, ‘a mereconglomerationofthoughts’.Onwhatwould I concentrate orwherewould I findmy life had I not had

beforehand experiences transcending the limits of the individual, earthlyconsciousness?ForallIamabletofeelorthinkthroughmyphysicalbodywillhave to be discarded together with it as their source. Yes, it is now perfectlyclear.But shall I be able to remember it all the time and not submit to external

happenings,norallowthemtodrawmeawayfromtheTruthwhichIhaveonceseen?ShallIbeablenottodeviatefromtheonestraightlineduringthelongfileofequaldays tocome?AninnervoicewhichImust trust, says: ‘No,notyet’.ThatmeansIshallstillbeatthemercyofupsanddowns,offlightandfall,oflight and darkness. It is the fate of every student in the great school of life.Whoever has reached the state of an uninterrupted union with, ormerging intruth is a master, a superman. He is one for ever with the Source of hisinspiration, themysteriousArunachala.At the feet of such a great one I nowhavetheprivilegetoabide.Nothing can happenwithout a purpose, or in vain.The light ofArunachala

will showme further stepsupwards, as ithasalready revealed themeaningofthe most enigmatic of all truths: ‘ To live one must lose oneself, that is ourtransient‘I’.AsMaharshipointsout:‘Here on earth there exists a rare remedy which helps those who have

recognizedtheillusorycharacteroftheirpersonality,todiscardandevendestroyit,withoutdestroyingthemselvesphysically.KnowittobenoneotherthanthisGreatArunachala’.

*NowoncemoreIseethemassivebodyofthesacredhill,themoonismuch

nearer the horizon and the dark shadows are deepened by black cloudswhichhavecomefromthesea,fromtheeast.Itmustbelate.NolightisvisibleintheAshramatthefootofthehill,andnostepsnorsoundsofvoicesareheardonthehighroadwhichencirclesArunachala.Allissilenceandpeace.Thefresheasternbreezeisnowblowing.

CHAPTERXXXI

God

ThethoughtsaboutGodcametomeafteralongstayintheAshram,attheendofmyperiodofsilence,called‘mouna’.Westernbeliefs, imposedonusandassimilated fromourchildhood,suchas

the ideaofananthropomorphicHighestBeing,werenotsoeasily transformedintolessnaïveanddeeperconceptions.AlthoughsomeyearsbeforemycomingtoIndiathegrosserformsofreligiousprejudiceshadalreadybeendiscarded—Imean the formal not the spiritual side, present in every religion— yet theirdiscardingprovedquite insufficient in theatmosphereofMaharshi.BeingnearhimonefeelsthepresenceofGodasamatterofcourse—noargumentsorproofsare necessary. It is extremely difficult to express inwordswhat themind cannever grasp. The Sage continually repeats that God can be known onlysubjectively, never as something outside ourselves, but rather as our own reallife,ourowninnermostcoreorbeing.HappilyatoneofmymeditationsatthefeetoftheSaint,justbeforeclosing

‘thegatesofthemind’fortheexclusionofallthoughts,IrememberedthewordsoftheMaster:‘Allreligiousandphilosophicalsystemscanleadmenonlytoacertainpoint

—always the same—to the emotional-mental conception ofGod.Andwhat ismost important, meriting the name of true Achievement, lies beyond it, inrealization’.We do not then think about the Highest Being as dwelling somewhere in

heaven,orastheprimarycause,orbeginningofallthings,theprimalmovementthatcreatestheuniverse,orinanyotherclear,comfortingmentalconception,fornoneofthesespeculationsbringusnearertoreality.‘WeshouldexperienceGodinamorerealisticway,everyday,everyminute,

everysecond.InotherwordsweshouldfeelbeinginHim,as this is theTruth.HeistheonlyReality,thebasicprincipleofeverythingweseeandexperience’.

FromMaharshi’sSayings

Themindisunabletograspthissimpletruth,thatGodisreallyineverything,and not in some ‘chosen’ forms only, in some peculiar physical, mental oremotional phenomena. ThatHe dwells inMaharshi aswell as in each one oftheseprimitiveDravi-dianvillagerswhositinthehall,whosethinkingprocessesarequitechildishcomparedwiththoseoftheBrahminmeditatingnearby.That

Heisintherefreshingeveningbreezeandequallyintheblackmosquitoeswhichannoyme even in the temple hall. That all kinds of deep-seamonsterswhichruthlesslydevoureachother,aswellas thesilentprayersofdevoteessittingatthe feetof theSage,breathe thesame life of theMostHigh, and thatnothing,literallyno thing, is ‘outside’His consciousness.Hence all is as it should be;nothingcangoagainstHiswill,orexistoutsideHim.Theunruffledpeaceof theMaster, theneverdisturbedcalm,havenot these

theirsourceinanexperiencedknowledgeofthesefacts?Yes,itmustbeso.Ifitistrue,thennothinginthisworldcanbe‘alien’tome,norcanIeverbe

‘lonely’.Andusually it is this loneliness that terrifiespeoplesogreatly. Inowfindtheexplanationoftheoverwhelmingblissonefeelsinmeditation,aswellasa sense of immortality which penetrates into one’s consciousness slowly,gradually,imperceptibly,yetwithunshakablecertitude.IfIamAll thatis,howcanIloselifewhichisintruththecoreofeverything?All these thoughts, however speedily they flash throughmy consciousness,

begin to be tiring. Is it always necessary to keep on proving to oneself andrepeatingindefinitelythattwoandtwomakefour,whenoneisnowatHisveryfeet? I want to live fully, in the real sense of the word. AndMaharshi says’strictly andemphatically: ‘TrueLifebeginswhenall.Forms arediscarded, allthoughtstranscended,andonlytheRealSelfremains’.But this Self has nothing in common with that which is called ‘I’ on the

physicalplaneofbeing.Thisillusory‘I’sits,abandonedthereatthecolumn,itslifehavingtakenforthetimebeingthevegetativemodewhenthegreatbreathisturned inwards to the Self. And the Real Self is something infinitely greater,moresubtleandfree.ItisinAllandallisinHim—ThatisGod.Whenwe understand this, we begin to see that in truth every being seeks,

albeitunconsciously,itssourcewhichistheHighest.Theeyesarethenopentothemeaningofmany inspiredwordsof great poets andmystics, and see theirhiddenlongingtobealwaysturnedinwards,tothesameonesource.Oworld,whyinthemidstofyourghastly,unrealexistence,areyouunableto

seethetruththatthereisnot,andcannotbe,anyothergoal?Love and devotion for the Highest—the One—is then born spontaneously,

with no questionings nor inquiries, but with full awareness that this is in thenaturalorderofthings,thateverythingisasitshouldbe,thatallHisdecreesarealwaysjustandright.Ifweareunabletoperceivethis,itisnofaultofthesunwhoshedsHisraysalwaysandeverywhere,butoftheblindman,whodoesnotsee them.The capacity of seeing the sun is born in theheart not in thebrain.This‘seeing’hasnothingincommonwiththeordinaryearthlyperceptionlike:‘Iam here and He is there’. Such a mental concept is a definite obstacle to

meditation,whichcangiveusthefirstglimpseofthesunbeams.Weshouldnottrytopulldownthesun—vainattempt—toourownlevel,butonthecontrarywemuststepoutofoursmall‘I’andgoforwardtomeettheLight.Thiscomparison,althoughclumsyandutterlyinadequate,mayreflectsomethingoftheattitudeinwhichwehavetostartourbattleforlife.AllthatcanbesaidaboutthestagesofoursearchforGodiscontained,inits.

fullness, in silence. Out of this silence one may draw endless pictures anddefinitions,butunavoidablytheywillallbeimperfect,givingnoadequateideaof the essence of the process. Itwould probably bewiser to plunge ourselvesintosilence,insteadoflisteningto‘second-hand’experiencesofthosefewwho,inagreaterorlesserdegree,havelearned’thisartofsilence.Godspeakstousinsilence,butwerarelyallowthesilencetocome,orlistenforHimtospeak.For—westilldonotknow.Inourignorancewedonotusuallylikesilence,itboresus.Wecannotimaginelifewithoutthought.Butthisillusoryexistenceisnotlifeatall;ratheritisdeath,fordeathistheunavoidableendofallforms,particularlyinthecaseofsuchanimperfectoneasourlittleself—our‘ego’,Wecloseoureyesanddonotwanttoseethisobviousandsomewhatterribletruth.Invainisthis attitudewhich leadsusnowhere! Just asa leaf torn froma treecanneverreturntoit,soourtransitoryformwillneverbeabletoexpressourrealSelf.A great teacher said clearly: ‘No man can serve two masters… God and

Mammon’.Inmeditation one can perceive instances ofGod’s intervention even in our

dailylives;thingswhichwereunnoticedbeforebecomeobvious.Andourheartsarefilledwithimmeasurablelove,devotionandgratitude.ThenwearenearingthatstatewhichMaharshispokeofas‘adailycommunionwithGod’.Thisisthegoalandthesummit.Butinourimmediatefutureweshallprobablygainonlynowandthensome

flashesoflight,andnotyetbeabletoabidepermanentlyinHim.IfullyrealizethattheSaintwhomIamfacingdwellsuninterruptedlyintheorboflight.Thislight is utterly different from any physical one we know, it is pouring eventhroughclosedeyelids.‘That’whichwasleftby‘me’downthere,atthetemplecolumn,hasitseyes

closedandcertainlycanseenothing.Itissoundlessanddumblikeacorpse.Butthereisthejoyousandcertainhopeofresurrection.Ihear,asfromagreatdistance,theAshramgong.

CHAPTERXXXII

SomeRemembrances

TodaybeforenoonMaharshisaidherememberedmefromthephotographofthe‘ArunachalaGroup’ inBrazil, sent tohimin1947fromCuritiba.He inquiredaboutthelittlebookpublishedtherein1948,andwhetherornotIwastheauthorof it. He asked the attendant to bring a copy from the Ashram library andinquiredaboutitscontents.IexplainedaswellasIcould,withthehelpofoneoftheBrahminattendants. I toldhimthat Iwas theauthor,and that Ihadmyselftyped the original which was then translated in Portuguese and published inBrazil. I went to my hut and brought a nicely bound copy with Maharshi’spictureandthatoftheBrazilian‘ArunachalaGroup’dedicatedtohim.Then,tomygreatastonishment,Maharshibegantoturnthepages—aboutahundred—ascarefullyandslowlyasifhewerereadingthisunknownlanguage.Fromtimetotimehedirectedhispenetratinggazeuponmeandthenonceagainlookedintothebook.AtlastheputitonhiskneesandspoketotheattendantinTamil.Assoonashe finished, theBrahminapproachedmeandexplained that itwas thewishof‘Bhagavan’(itisthenamegiventoMaharshibyhisdevoteesandmeans‘the blessed one’) to add notes giving the source of my quotations fromSankaracharya’s Viveka-Chudamani, and listing those from the Imitation ofChristbyThomasaKempis.Calledbyhisgesture, IapproachedtheSageandtookthebookfromhishands.TofulfillMaharshi’swishIhad toworkseveraldays in theAshramlibrary,

where I had the kind co-operation of an American lady, a great devotee ofMaharshi,whowasonlytoogladtoassistmeinthisfulfilmentofhiswish.Ihadto write it all in block letters to make it easier for the Saint to read, as myhandwriting was not clear enough. At last, I was able to hand it over to theMaster.I was somewhat amused by the keen interest of the group of Westerners,

especially one lady, a permanent resident of the Ashram, in the fact thatMaharshiwanted toknowall thedetailsmentioned above.Yet theymayhavehadagoodreasonforsurprise:knowingtheSaint’shabitual indifferencetoallthat happens down here, they certainly did not expect Him to pay such keenattentiontoanything.I took theopportunity to tellMaharshiabout the twogroups inParisand in

Brazil,whichtakehisteachingsasthechiefsubjectoftheirstudy,aswellastheworksofthosewhorevereandadmirehim.Heaskedwhenandbywhomtheywere started,whatwere thechiefpointsof their studies, and soon.The smile

which accompanied these questions was wonderful indeed. It seemed toencourageme,andthiswasindeednecessary,forhowcouldonespeaktohimasonedoestootherpeople?Intuitiondefinitelytoldmethatnotonewordshouldbeusedwhichmight be a platitude, that each and everyoneof themmust beworthyofthelistener.Thatwaswhyinthebeginningofeachconversationonehadtogothroughsomethinglikeshynesswhich,however,disappearedassoonasonelookedintohiseyes.Idoubtwhethermanypeoplehavehadanopportunityofseeinginanyone’s

eyessomuchsympathy,wisdomandunderstanding,orsuchanincrediblelovingkindnessasradiatedfromthoseofMaharshiwhenhespoketous.A few weeks before when I did not yet know how to address the Sage,

fohowingtheexampleofothersIwroteafewsentencesandhandedthemtohimafterthemorningmeditation.Theydidnotaskanyquestion,butonlyrequestedsomethingwhichIrepeatedlaterontheeveofmydeparturefromIndia,whenItookleaveoftheSaint.ThosefewwordscontainedanepitomeofallthatIwasandamstillneedingtobe,tofollowthepathshownbytheMaster.IbecameawareofthiswhenIhadproofofhisfulfillingthismyonlyprayer.I

hadmadenoother.Thefactthatittranscendedthelimitsofthismylife,andthatitsfulfillmentwaspossibleonlybyonewhowashimselfbeyondwhatwecalllifeanddeath,wasakindofassurancetomethatthistimeIhadnoterred.ItiswellknownthatMaharshidoesnotperform‘miracles’,thathesometimes

evenmakes gentle fun (the Sage never ‘condemns’ anything) of the so-called‘occultpowers’or‘Siddhis’ofYogisandotherself-styled‘supermen’,whousetheirpsychicpowers toexercisean immediate influenceon theirsurroundings.Butwhatelsearewetocall thosechangeswhichtakeplace inhispresenceintheconsciousnessofpupilswhomost sincerelyseek for truth?Howarewe toexplain the strange,almostunbelievablechanges incircumstanceswhichoftenaccompanythemodificationsofourinnerstateofconsciousness;orthosecasesofimmediateassistancewhenitseemedthatnothingcouldhelpanymore?Verylittle is spoken about it; hence we do not know much. Those who haveexperiencedsuchhelprarelytalkofit,excepttotheirnearestcompanionsinthesearchfortruth.ThelackofanymysteriousatmospherearoundMaharshi,hisuttersimplicity

and naturalness, create the feeling that even if some extraordinary andunbelievable ‘miracle’ did happen here in the hall, or under the bamboo roofnearthelibrary,itwouldnotprovokemorecuriositythandothesubtledesignsoftheincensesmoke,slowlyrisingtothefeetoftheSaintandthenupwardstothehighceilingofthehall.ThegreatestmiracleisMaharshihimself.Iknowthatnotallareabletofeel

norevenguessit.Suchmiraclescanbeknownonlybyplungingintosilenceandintoourowndepths.SomecanneverdothisalthougheachandeveryonefeelsthebeneficialinfluenceoftheGreatRishi.

*ThismorningtherewasacelebrationofsomeHinduSaintbygarlandingand

smearingwith red powder the stone statues of the sacred cows, one ofwhichstandsintheAshramgrounds,nearthefenceonthesideofthemainroadwhichencirclesthehill.Maharshiwassittingonachairoppositethesmallshrineduringthewholeof

the ceremony, surrounded by people chantingMantras.As always hewas thesame—placid andquiet,withno signof interest in the activityof those roundhim.SometimeafterwardsIthoughtIhadgraspedthecauseofthisindifference.It

isthis:theSagedoesnotbelieveintherealityofthisvisibleworld,heknowsitisonlyanillusion.Dwellingallthetimeontheplanewhichembracesthewholeofexistence,howcouldhebeinterestedintinyfragmentsofhappeningswhichareasephemeralassmoke?Itseemedtomethatthemostlogicalanalysisofexistenceintimeandspace

shouldmaketheaboveclearandobviousbeyondadoubt.ButIhavealsoseenthe difference between a mental concept and the realization of this truth. Ofcourseitisgoodtohavearightmentalconception,foritmayhelpustoavoidmistakes.Itiscomparativelyeasytoadmitthatthereexistsapointofviewfromwhichthefartheststarandthetiniestantatourfeetareequallyneartoorequallyfarfromourconsciousness.Butitisquiteadifferentthingtolive inthisinner,yetall-embracingworld.If I had not been here, at the feet of one who has realized this state of

consciousness,Ishouldcertainlyhavehadnoideaaboutsuchapossibility.Butnow hope has changed to certainty, because of the presence of the livingExamplewhoshedshislightallround.Thesecondpartoftheceremonytookplaceinthetemple.Trayswithsacred

ashesandredpowderwerebroughtandweallputonourforeheadsatokenofthat ancient symbol,whose spiritualmeaning is now remembered only by thefew.

CHAPTERXXXIII

PowerinUs

‘Ifthesupremetruthremainsunknown,thestudyofthescripturesisfruitless;evenifthesupremetruth isknownthestudyof thescriptures isuseless(thestudyof the letteralone isuseless, thespiritmustbesoughtoutbyintuition)’.

Viveka-Chudamani,bySriSankaracharya,Verse61

These words of Sri Sankaracharya are of much value to those who may besomewhatdiscouragedthroughthereadingoftoomanybooksandarticlesfilledwithtechnicaltermsofoccultphilosophy.Ifwetrytolearnwithourmind-brainonly,memory isburdenedandwenevergain thatwhichwe intuitivelyseek—truespiritualenlightenmentfromwisdomoftheSelf.Those who are making real progress on the path know that the process is

reallyreversed.Whenwereachtherealmofrealityorspirit,thenalltermsandsystems become clear, but—never before. The life of Sri Maharshi is anexcellentexample.Asayouth,beforehisenlightenmentheknewalmostnothingabouttheHindu

scriptures. But afterwards, he understood everything easily and could giveincomparableexplanationsbasedonhisownspiritualwisdom.Thisis theonlynatural process.Perhaps a similewill explain thisbetter: a personwhoknowsonlyEnglishwouldbeunabletoreadanotherlanguagesuchasFrenchalthoughitwasthesamealphabet.Hemustlearnthelanguageinordertouseitcorrectly.So it is with the scriptures. They speak another tongue although they use thesamewordsasours.Thisisnottosaythatreadingisuseless.Astheinnerwisdomgrowsinuswe

findgreat support in thescriptures for theydescribewhatweareexperiencingfor ourselves. They provide authority and certainty for us on the path. Thefurtherthedisciplegoes,thelesscomplicatedbecomeshismind,andthenheisable to express in simple formandwords, clear to all,whatwouldpreviouslyhaveneededanelaboratediscoursefulloftechnicalterms.We can recognize the utter simplicity of the words of Christ, Buddha,

Maharshi and all the great teachers of humanity.Compare themwith those ofmodernphilosophersinboththeEastandtheWest,anditisobviouswheretruthisandwhereliesonlythetheoryoftruth.Inordertopassfromthisdream-lifeofaseparateego-person-aHtytothereal

existenceasSelf,weneed that lightof truth Itself,not just Itsdescription, forthatcannothelpus.SriMaharshi, ingivingusa formulaof life in themodern formofVichara,

wasputtingintoeffecttheoldtruththatevenonemaximofatrueMaster,ifputintopractice,issufficienttoleadtheaspiranttotheblissfulend—attainment.Anomnipotentbutunknownpowerlieslatentineveryoneofus.SriMaharshi

spokeaboutitmanytimes,especiallyinhisInstructionstoF.H.Humphreys inhisearlyyears.Thispowermustbeuncovered, forwithout it—nothingcanbegained. It is by no means uniform in its manifestations and it appears to thedisciple(butnottotheMaster!)ashavingdifferentaspects—Bhakti,Jnana,andsoon.SomeofusknowthatthereisnothingtobecomparedwiththegraceofthepresenceoftheMastertomakethisuniversalpoweravailabletous.Andtheindirecthelpofhisgracehasbeenexperiencedbymanywhostrivetoknowtheultimatetruth,toentertheinnerworldoftheirbelovedGuru.Thispowerenablesmantosubduehisrelentlessmind,whichisthefirstcause

ofhis troubles, outer and inner alike. It giveshimat last thatwonderful innercertainty from which arise silence and peace. They who awaken this powerwithinthemselvesknowthatitbringsabouttheultimateunion,andthroughthat,immortality. The best form of help for a seeker, is one by which he is notharassedwithagreatmanyteachings,dogmasanddefinitions,allofwhichcomefromoutside.Thereisabettermethod,usedonlybytheMaster,andthatisbyspeech,look,orsilence(andinveryrarecases,bytouch)puttingtheaspirantinsuchapositionthathehimselfmayfindthesolutiontohisproblems.Thensuchasolutionwillbeofhisownlivingwisdom.Thisisallthatmattersintheschoolofhumanlife.In the foreword to thebookMahaYoga by ‘Who’, the author advises us to

forgetourrelativescience—whichinrealityisignorance—beforewecanenteronthepath.Obviouslyitisaconditionandweshouldknowwhyandhow.Butitisnoteasy.Mostpeoplehavegreatdifficultyingettingridofprevious

theories and formerknowledge.But someare successful.Andhere a questionarises:‘Whyshouldwecollectrubbishifitistobediscardedlater?’Sapientisat,astheRomansusedtosay.Many sincere seekers are worried because they cannot acquire all the

knowledgeaboutreligions,yogas,differentoccultsystems,andsoon.TothesetheadviceofMahaYogaisthattheprocessofunlearningrelativeknowledgeisnotlikeforgettingit,butstoringandlockingitupinthemind-brain,andputtingthekeyinthepocket.Thenwhenyouneedto,youcanunlockthestoreandusewhat you want. But do not spend your life indefinitely inspecting yourtemporarypossessions!

*It is better not to name this universal power here. It will be found in due

course,andthereisnopossibilityofamistake.It isunique,aloneandcloseto

eachman’sheart.Itcanbereliedontoaccomplishanytask.Youwillfinditbyyourowneffort.There isnothingapart from it, for it is thevery coreof yourbeing,theultimate—theever-presentgoal,theonlytrueandeternalfriend.The Great Rishi once said to aWesterner: ‘When a man for the first time

recognizeshis trueSelf, then from thedepthsofhisbeing arises something…And it then takes possession of him. It is on the other side of themind. It isinfinite,divineandeternal…‘Thephenomenawesee,arecuriousandsurprising—butthemostmarvellous

of all we do not realize, namely that one and only one illimitable force isresponsibleforallthephenomenawesee,andfortheactofseeingthem.‘Do not fix your attention on all these changing things of life, death and

phenomena.Donoteventhinkoftheactualactofseeingorperceiving,butonlyofthatwhichseesallthesethings,thatwhichisresponsibleforitall…Trytokeepthemindun-shakenlyfixedonthatwhichSees.Itisinsideyourself.,.‘Thesethingswhichweseeandsense,areonlythesplit-upcoloursoftheone

illimitablespirit.‘AMasterinmeditation,thoughtheeyesandearsbeopen,fixeshisattention

sofirmlyonthatwhichseesthatheneitherseesnorhears,norhasanyphysicalconsciousnessatall—normentaleither,butonlyspiritual’.These words of Sri Maharshi are the best explanation of the Power in us.

Thereisnothingtoadd.

CHAPTERXXXIV

Correspondence

In letters received from America and elsewhere I often find the followingquestions:‘WhichoftheinstructionsonmeditationgivenbyancientIndianphilosophers

are regarded in the Ashram as having most in common with Maharshi’steachings?’Or: ‘What shouldbeour attitude towardsour ownpersonalitywhenwe are

tryingtofollowthepathofself-knowledge?’Andsoon…The answerswhich I found here atMaharshi’s feetmay be useful to other

peopleforthesolutionofthesameproblems.Fortheirsake,therefore,Igiveinthischaptersomeexcerptsfrommycorrespondence.MaharshihighlyappreciatesSriSankaracharya’s‘Viveka-ChudamaniorThe

Crest Jewel ofWisdom.Many Hindus regard the Sage of Arunachala to be areincarnationoftheauthorofthistreatise,whichreachesthehighestsummitofoccultphilosophicconception.Ihavechosenfromitafewversesformydailymeditation, and I quote themhere.*Theword ‘Brahman’ denotes theHighestDivinityand‘Parabrahman’theAbsolute;‘Logos’correspondstothe‘CreatoroftheUniverse’or‘Demiurgos’.

Verse409

The wise man in Samadhi perceives in his heart That something which iseternal Knowledge, pure Bliss, incomparable, eternally free, actionless, aslimitlessasspace,stainless,withoutdistinctionofsubjectandobject,andwhichisall-pervadingBrahman(inessence).

Verse255

Realize that thou art ‘That’—Brahman which is far beyond caste, worldlywisdom, family and clan, devoidof name, form,qualities anddefects, beyondtime,spaceandobjectsofconsciousness.

Verse256

Realizethatthouart‘That’—Brahmanwhichissupreme,beyondtherangeofallspeech,butwhichmaybeknownthroughtheeyeofpurewisdom.Itispure,

absoluteconsciousness,theeternalsubstance.

Verse257

Realizethatthouart‘That’—Brahmanwhichisuntouchedbythesixhumaninfirmities(hunger,thirst,greed,delusion,decay,anddeath)—itisrealizedintheheart of Yogis (in Samadhi), it cannot be perceived by the senses, it isimperceptiblebyintellectormind.

Verse258

Realize that thou art ‘That’—Brahman on which rests the world, createdthrough ignorance, It (Brahman) isself-sustained, It isdifferent from(relative)truth,andfromuntruth,indivisible,beyondmentalrepresentation.

Verse260

Realize that thou art ‘That’—Brahman which is the cessation of alldifferentiation,whichneverchangesitsnature,andisasunmovedasawavelessocean,eternallyunconditionedandundivided.

Verse261

Realize that thou art ‘That’—Brahman which is the one only Reality, thecauseofmultiplicity, the cause that eliminatesother causes,different from thelawofcauseandeffect.

Verse263

Realizethatthouart‘That’—BrahmanthatRealitywhichmanifestsasmanythroughtheillusionsofname,form,qualities,change,butisyetunchangedlikegold(inthevariousformsofgoldenornaments).

Verse264

Realize that thouart ‘That’—Brahmanwhichalone shines,which isbeyondthe Logos, all pervading, uniform, truth, consciousness, bliss, having no end,indestructible.What loftypeaksofspiritualconception, risingstraightup into the realmof

theinfinite,wheretruthreignssupreme!ThestudentofSelf-knowledgebegins tounderstand thathispersonality isa

focusorfulcrum,asitwere,throughwhichflowsandshinesthelightoflifethatis God. But he himself is not this focus. Hemust take care tomaintain it inperfect purity, to enable the maximum of light to shine through it. But thisshould be his only care and nothing more. Herein lies the mystery of thedisappearance of the ‘ego’ as the result of Self-realization. It brings truefreedom.When the focushas fulfilled its task it isdiscardedwithneitherpainnor regret.But thishappensonlywhen ithasbecomea lived realityandnotatheory.Andthatisthehighestinitiation.Inanyeventonethingistrue:onlyabalancedandone-pointedmindleadsto

therealmoftruth—toSamadhi.InterruptionsinthestateofSamadhiprovethatthemindisnotcompletelysubdued;itcomesbacktoactivityandevadesthestillimperfectcontrol.

WhatkindofattitudeisproperinthepresenceoftheMaster?Nothingismorehelpfulinthepresenceofagreatbeingthanstillnessofmind.

ItopensthedoorofourheartandenablestheMastertocomein.TheproximityofMaharshimakesthiseffortofstillingthemindinfinitelyeasierthanitwouldbeelsewhere.Often,evenwhenpeopleprayaccording to theirown faiths, theresultcanultimatelybethesame.InthepresenceofBhagavanMaharshiweareabletofindintuitivelybyourselvestheproperattitude.

TheSelfandthevisibleworld.AnextensiveexplanationhasbeengivenbyMaharshihimselfinhis‘Gospel’.

Sothereisnothingtoadd.Nevertheless,asyouwantsome‘physical’analogyaroughonemaybequoted:Suppose a pianist is playing in gloves, youwill see only the leather out of

whichtheyaremade,havingtheshapeofthehand.Thefingersastheyreallyarecannot be seen. An ignorant person can believe that the leather of the glovesforms an integral part of the hands of the artist. In a similarway peoplewhoknownothingabouttheSelfareunabletoseeanythingbeyondthephysicalsideofthings.Buthewhoseesrealityknowsthatthereisahandwhichstrikesthekeysand

plays themusic, that theglovewithout this livinghand inside isnothingmorethanamerelifelessshellorvehicle.Theinadequacyofthisanalogyisthatintruthyoucanneverseethehandin

theglove,forthenyouwouldbe‘thehanditself’.‘ToseeGodistobeGod’.—FromMaharshi’sGospel.

InitiatorysocietiesYouask:‘Whataboutthenumerousinitiatorysocietiesexistinginthemodern

world?’Letusnotbemisguided. Ifyouwant togivemeaglassofwater,youmusthavewatertogive.UnlessleadersofsuchorganizationsaretrueMasters—perfect men—their teachings and books can be little better than the mentalspeculation of a layman. The teaching must be supported by the lives of theteachersandgiveusanunmistakableexampleoftruerealization.YourownSelfwill never accept anything less. And until now I have never seen a Masterrunninganorganizationorabusiness.Thinkitoverandtheanswerwillcomeofitself.

ObstaclestotherealizationoftheSelf‘Theyareyourwanderingmindandpervertedwaysoflife’,saysMaharshiin

hisGospel.Egotismandtheidentificationofyourselfwiththephysicalbodyarethe roots of ignorance, they prevent you from entering the Path and realizingVichara—Self-Inquiry—‘WhoAmI?’‘IamthisMr.Xofacertainage,appearance,positioninsociety,nationality,

professionandsoon.lambornandImustdie’.Allofthesemustgobeforeyouwillfindananswertoyour‘Vichara’.AYogi said: ‘TheSelf of the seekerwho surrendershimself to theTruth is

mergingintotheGreatInfiniteSelf’.Thatisthepath.

PrayerYousay:‘IamaChristianandabeliever.Iamunabletomeditate,Icanonly

pray.Whatachievementispossibleforme?’Achievementisthesameforall.Butthewaystoitcanbeseendifferently.If

you study the lives of the Saints of all faiths, you will find that they are allbrothers in the love and realization ofGod. Let our prayers be unselfish, andrememberalwaysthat theLordknowsbetterhowtoruleHisuniversethanwedo. Therefore, He does not need our suggestions in the matter. Try to makeperfect that which is really yours—your own consciousness. That is our onlyaim. I will give a beautiful example of a mystic prayer from St. Francis ofAssissi:‘Lord,makemeaninstrumentofThypeace;wherethereishatred,letmesow

love;wherethereisinjury,letmesowpardon;wherethereisdoubt,letmesowfaith; where there is despair— hope; where there is darkness—Light; wherethereissadness,letmesowjoy’.‘ODivineMaster, grant that Imay not somuch seek to be consoled as to

console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love; for it is ingivingthatwereceive.Itisinpardoningthatwearepardoned.AnditisindyingthatwearebornintoEternalLife’.

ThegraceoftheMasterMaharshihaswritteninhisGospelthatthisgraceistoosubtletobedescribed.

Certainlyheknowsthisfarbetterthanwedo.Therefore,allattemptstoexplaininwordswhatwordscannotexpressareuseless.Maharshiisalwaysreferringtograce asworking on its proper level of spiritual reality, and yet you insist onobtainingananswer inwords,whichmeanswithin limitations imposedbyourminds.Itcanbetakenforgrantedthat‘theattention’paidbytheMastertohisdisciple can be regarded as one of the characteristics of his relation to him.Therefore,letusbeworthyofsuchattention.

SurrenderSurrender is the state of consciousnesswhich is a conditionof discipleship.

When thedisciple realizes thathis ‘ego’—personality—isonlyasmall rippleonthesurfaceoftheinfiniteoceanoftheSelf—or‘Overself’—whichisreality,hedeliberatelybeginstoturnhisattentionawayfromitandtriestomergeinthat‘all’whichgenerallytakestheformoftheMaster.ThatiswhysurrendertotheMasterisanecessarysteptowardstheultimategoal,foritmeanstherealizationofthetrueSelforGod.

LoveI do not remember who described love as ‘a universal power of mutual

attraction(gravitation)actingeverywherebetweenatoms—whichrepresentthematerialveiloftheuniverse—aswellasbetweenotherdifferentmanifestationsofconsciousness’.Perhaps there is some truth in thesewords, althoughwhen expressed in the

worldofrelativity,theymustnecessarilybeimperfect.Butpracticallyspeaking,love is the only power that can support our effort to step out of conditionedrelativity into reality.On thehardpath to realizationanymentalconceptionofthe true goal, however lofty and sublime it may appear to us, will proveinsufficient,becauseitisboundtodisappear,togetherwiththedissolutionofourindividualmindswhen they return to theoneoceanof life. Inotherwords themanwhoisstrugglingonthepathtorealizationknowshowmuchheneedsthismotive-power of love to overcome all obstacles. In occult literature there aremanyproofsofthis.Itisgoodtorememberthewell-knownwordsofSt.Paul:‘AndthoughIhavethegiftofprophecy,andunderstandallmysteries,andall

knowledge;and thoughIhaveall faith,so that Icouldremovemountains,andhavenotcharity,Iamnothing’.OnlythereflectionofTruthitselfcanhelpus.Loveisthisreflection.Andthe

highest form of love accessible to us is our love for theMaster. TheMastercannot come to an unloving disciple— if such a disciple could exist—just aslightcannotpenetrateintoaroomwithoutwindows.Nothingcanhelpthepupilifhehasnolove.Hemusthavealivingexample,andanidealwhichisabovealldoubtsandimperfections.

TheMasterYousayyouknowthatwithouttheMasterthereisnopath,andyouaskme,

whoamnowatthefeetofBhagavanMaharshi:‘Howisthistruthrealizedinhispresence?’ If you could come here and sit under the bamboo roof extendingabove Maharshi’s couch no answer would be necessary. You have somephotographsofArunachalahill,butyouwilladmit that it isnot thesameas ifyoucouldclimb,orseeforyourself,theHillofGrace.Thesameistrueofthepresence of Maharshi. You will find in this diary some of my personalexperiencesofit.

Controlofthemind’SubmittomeandIwillstrikedowntheMind’.

FromMaharshi’sSayings

Thesewordsof theSagemaybethebestanswer toyourquestion.Anyhow,every time that I am absorbed in the thought ofBhagavan no other unwantedideacancreepintomymind.Hencenofutileorevilthoughthasanyaccesstomyconsciousness.Thehabitofharbouringandfeedingrestlessthoughtsisnowbeing replaced by the unruffled calm and peace of the mind. But this is notsufficientfortheVichara,orPathofInquiry,’WhoAmI?’astaughtbyMaharshi.Acompletesilenceorstillnessofthemindisessential.Ihavefoundconsiderablehelp in long and cool meditations on the origin of the thiiiking process, andcuriosityasthesourceofthoughts.Then I recognized that ‘no thought can help me or change my so-called

future’,andsoon.Wearesimplydupedbyourmindwhichsuggeststheideaofthe ‘necessity of thinking’. This subtle lie is hard to eradicate and hard toexplain, becausewearepracticallyunable to stopour thinkingprocess atwillunlesswe are to a certain extent in that state of consciousnesswhich extendsbeyond themind. This higher consciousness—themysterious ‘Samadhi’— istheveryaimofallseekers.AsMaharshisaid:

‘SamadhialonecanrevealtheTruth’.FromMaharshi’sGospel

SamadhiThere are a few descriptions of the transcendent state of spiritual ecstasy

calledSamadhi.TherearealsoseveralkindsofSamadhi.Maharshisaysbrieflyandclearly:‘InSamadhithereisthefeelingof“I-I”or“Iam”andnothoughts’.Butnorealdescriptionofthisstateofrealbeingcanassistusinitsattainment.

When Samadhi comes, people are generally astonished at how false had beentheirmentalideasaboutit.

*Theseare someexcerpts from letters Iwrote from theAshram inanswer to

myfriendsinotherpartsoftheworldinterestedintruespiritualendeavour,butunable togotoIndiaandseeMaharshi. Inhisatmosphereof lightandpeaceIfeelthereisreallyonlyonegreatheart,ofwhichtheSageofArunachalasooftenspeaks.Thereforemydistant—inspace—correspondentsareinrealitynearertomenow,thantheywerewhenIwasintheirimmediatephysicalpresence.

*Note:TranslationbyMohiniM.Chatterji,publishedin‘ACompendiumoftheRajaYojaPhilosophy,comprising the principal treatises of Shrimat Sankaracharya and other renowned authors’ by TookaramTatya,(Bombay,1888).

CHAPTERXXXV

IandYou

There is a considerable difference in my states of consciousness at differenttimes.OfteninmeditationIexperiencetheecstasyofabsoluteunion.Butthisislostwhen I return toconventional life. Itworriesme somewhat;but thecauselies in the doubts generated by themind. Therefore I strive to bring the lightfromtheInnerSelftobearonit,andbuildasolidfoundationinaccordancewiththose spiritual experienceswhich are theonly real consciousness.Thencomesthenecessitytotranslatethem,ifpossible,intothelanguageofthemind.Sincetheminditselfisonlyareflectionintherealmofconditionedlife,symbolsandcomparisons are appropriate to the purpose, and in fact are the onlymeansofconveyingsomeideas.InthelightofmypreviousexperiencesduringmeditationIofferthissimile:

individual personalities can be compared to the leaves of a tree. They arenumerous, but their common life is that of the tree. It is the source of theirexistence.Theleavesgrow,fadeandfinallydie.Butthetreeisunaffectedbythefate of its individual offspring. It has no favourite leaves; it knows theirtemporary role, but do the leaves know the destiny of their mother, the tree,whoselifespantranscendsbyfarthatofeachoneofthem?Their life is possible only so long as they are unseparated from themother

trunk. All of them strive after more sun and air, albeit unconsciously. Theycannot of their own will leave the tree before they are ripe and this ripenessmeansdissolutionoftheirform.From the point of view of the leaf, its life is limited, its possibilities

circumscribed,andanyeffortstoavoidthecommonfateareinvain.Coulditbutrealize that thecontinuing lifeof the tree is theonly thing thatmatters; that tocarryoutitsfunctionfaithfullyistheonlywayinwhichitcanincreasethelifeofthetreeonwhichitsownwell-beingdepends,aswellasthatofallitsfellows.Itistragichowwebelievethatourseparatenessisreal,thatwhatwehaveis

ourown,andsoremainuntouchedbytheneedsofothers.Liketheleavesofthetree,attheappointedtime,ouroutershellmustfadeanddie,andtheever-livingSelfbedrawnbackintoitssource.ReallifeistrulyonlyinThat.Now my mind becomes quieter, for it has been told the truth in its own

language.TherealizedunityistheLifeofthespiritintherealmoftheeternal.Theillusionofseparationisdeath.Thelackofegotismingreatbeingsisnotbasedonsentimentalityortheory.

They know their source. When Christ prayed for His enemies and when

Maharshi, beatenby thieves, turnedhis other side to their blows—Theyknewthe law.Therewasnohypocrisy inTheiracts.Theywereaware that thesamelifeflowsthroughTheirtormentorsasthroughThemselves.Theonlydifferencelay in the fact that Christ and Maharshi recognized their oneness while themurderersandthievesdidnot.Inthesimileofthetreeandtheleaves,theonlydifferenceisinthetemporary

form and colour of the leaves. So even the understanding of the law of Lifecompelsustotransferourconsciousnesstothespiritualrealm,thoughbutforamoment.Ifwehavegraspedwiththemindtheunityofthespirit,wehavelivedforamomentinthesphereofthespirit.Sometimes we are able to grasp and realize the mystical meaning of the

teachings of the Master, but the Self-oblivious personality forgets theseimportantmomentstooeasily.‘TheWayislong.IamfarfromHome’.

CHAPTERXXXVI

Requiem

Iusuallydedicateonenightintheweektomeditationasakindofcontinuationof our eveningmeditations in the presence ofMaharshi. I do not write themdown,fortheyareallsimilaranddifficulttoputintowords.Icanonlysaythattheyare anattempt to lift upmyconsciousness to the spherewhere life alonereigns,with no forms and no veils. In the preliminary stage there is always akindofstrugglewithall thatpreventsmefromsteppingout fromtherealmofthought;after that, likea filmonascreen,appear thepicturesofmypast,andfinally—usuallyaboutdawn—comesamomentofpeace.OneJulynighthowever,Ishallneverforget,anditsessenceisexpressedby

thetitleofthischapter,fortheperiodofmyearthlylifewasburieddefinitelyforever. This life which until then, had usually claimed my attention andretrospective examination, quietly disappeared, swallowedupby that oceanoftheunrealtowhichithasalwaysbelonged.I did not then realize that only the present is existent, and that constantly

returningtothepastisequivalenttotemporarysuicide.First I remembered a passage from a book based on theHebrewKabbalah,

which many years ago had fascinated me with its mystery, but to the realmeaningofwhichIcouldneverfindthekey.‘…Andthepupilenteredtheshrineofhisheart.Analtarwasthereandonit

twolightswereburning.‘Heunderstoodthatthesewerethelightsofhisownlife.Theywerehimself.

Theflameoftheneareronewasmany-hued,pulsatingwitharichnessofcolour,andemanatingaslightsmoke.Herecognizedittobehisthoughtsandemotionsbytheveryfamiliarrhythmoftheirvibrations.‘The second and farther light was colourless, but its rays were pervading

everything and penetrating through the changing hues of the first one.Immovableinitspristinepurityitwasquietlyburning,breathingapeaceasgreataseternityitself.‘ThenaRabbidressedinwhiteappeared,tookboththelightsinhishandsand

changed their places. “From this moment you will look through the light ofeternityonthatofthefleetinglife,insteadoflooking,asyouhavedonetillnow,throughtheephemerallight,whichmadetheperceptionoftheeternaldifficult".’

*‘Who Am I? Who Am I? Who Am I?’ —I plunged as usual into this

meditativeinquiry,andsuddenlyIsawmywholelife,fromitsverybeginning,

hidden in the recesses ofmymemory, unroll beforemy eyes as if on a film.Lookingat it, I oncemorewent through the sameexperiences in a condensedandextremelyrapidway. Isensed that Ihad thepower todestroy this illusorypicturebyaneffortofwill,foritwasweighingonmeunpleasantly.AndIalsoknewthatitwasnotadvisabletoallowthoseillusory,nonexistentthingstoenterintomyconsciousness.ButthistimeavoicewhichIhadtoobeytoldmetolookatthe‘film’.Beforeme unrolled the years ofmyyouth,with their foolishness and dash,

instinctivelifewithitsalmostanimalselfishness;circumstancesandpeople,whoatthetimehadplayedagreatroleinmylife, lovesandhates,nobleandmeanimpulses, a search for something which was always evading my touch andwhich,whenitseemednear,wascontinuallyslippingoutofmyhands.Momentsof despairwhich seemed fathomless, hopeless, andwithout issue;moments oftremendous,onecouldalmostsayboundless‘happiness’—allpassedbeforemyeyes.Thephysical figure, sowellknown,graduallychangingwith the flowofyears, now condensed, passed before me with all its hopes and dreams andendeavoursofwhichnothingnowremained.Theyearsof the first and secondworldwars, the intervalofpeace,myplunge intooccult studieswherehighestachievements seemed to lie, cosmoconceptions gradually changing throughcontactwithnewtheoriesandtheirauthors.Ifeltitalllikeadensedarkclouddescendinguponmyconsciousness;Iwas

seekinganissue;intuitivelyIfeltthatitmustexist,thatnow,whenIstoodonthethresholdofanewlife,Icouldnotreturntothoseghosts.Concentratingallmypowers inoneeffortofwill Istoppedtheweirdchain,

andinonemomentwhenthe‘film’stoodlikeadeadthing,Iunderstoodbeyondtheshadowofadoubt:all this—itwasnotme.Thisactorandthesurroundingsceneryanddecorationswerenot,andcouldneverhavebeenMyself.Iwasnotnow concerned with the shallow experiences, foolish endeavours, aimlessthoughts,changingfeelingsandmoods,andalltherestthatsometimeagohadseemedtoconstitute‘Me’.Icouldnowcriticizeandhelpotherstocriticizethis‘person’,athingwhichIhadformerlyvividlyresented,butwhichIcouldnowdo freely.Why? Itwas not themind thatwas responsible, but this peace, thismerging into the translucent, immaterialSelf, andperhaps—thepushing to thesecondplaneofthe‘firstlight’,accordingtotheHebrewtale.Allmyattemptstofindreasonshavenownomeaning.Ihavelostallinterest

inthesedefinitionsandexplanations.Lifehasprovedtobequitedifferentfromcurrentconceptionsaboutit—yes,ithasprovedrathertobethedenialofthem.‘Whosoevershallseektosavehislifeshallloseit;andwhosoevershalllose

hislifeshallpreserveit’.

ThesewordsoftheGreatTeacher,oncesomysteriousandincomprehensible,arenowabrightandradianttruth,inspiteofthefactthattheywerepronouncedtwothousandyearsago.Itislittlewonderthatonealsoremembers:‘Heavenandearthshallpassaway:butmywordsshallnotpassaway’.Inthesilencewhichfollowedthismore‘active’partofmymeditation,hours

passedunnoticed.Ibegantohearsoundsfromwithout,thevoicesofsomewildanimalsapproachingtheAshram’scompoundduringthenight,whennohumanbeingwasabout.Iopenedmyeyestolookoutofthewindow,andthroughtheironbarsandwirenet,Isawabighairyhead;itwasamonkey,who,awakenedby the approaching dawn, had come here from the Hill in search of mangopeelings.

*Theday isbeginning,anewday in thispeacefulcornerof theworld,at the

footofthesacredHillofArunachala,chosenbytheMasterashislife’sabode.Itis truethatherenatureitselfseemstoassisthumanbeingsintheirendeavours,for inspiteofbeinginthetropics, itdoesnothinderonebycausingexcessivephysicalexhaustion. Is it the influenceof thedryclimate,orof themysteriousmagnetismaboutwhichonehearssomuch?Idonotknow.Icanonlysaythatfromthespiritualside,Ihavenevermetinmylifewithsuchsuitableandhelpfulsurroundings,andsuchawonderfulatmosphereradiatingeverywhere.IbegintofeelalmostinstinctivelythatthetimeisnearingwhenIshallnotbe

abletobenefitanymorefromthisimmediateandmarvellousinfluence.HenceIamtryingtoget‘rooted’asdeeplyaspossibleinthisspiritualsoil,totakeitwithmeformyfurtherwanderingsthroughouttheworld.I listencarefully to themelodiesof theeveningsongsofmeditation, linking

themupwithmypresent inner experiences. Itmay helpme afterwardswhen,surroundedbyanutterlydifferentatmosphere,Itrytolivethesamekindoflifeasnow—atthefeetofMaharshi.Intuitionsaysthatitisadvisabletofindsomepointsofsupportwhichwillproveuseful,when in theverymidstof thehasteandnoiseoftheWesternworld,Ishallhavetowithdrawfromitandreturntothekingdomofsilence.Butisnotthebestofallmeansalreadyatmydisposal?AndMaharshi,whose

very remembrance brings peace—can I ever forget the expression of his eyesduringmeditationsinthetemple?NowwhenIwrite these lines inmycellduringthehottesthoursof theday,

whenalllifeseemstostandstill,amerewordaboutMaharshisufficestoevokehisfigurebeforemyeyes,andallthoughtsstop.Withthismywritingmustalsostop.

CHAPTERXXXVII

TheLastDays

I have just received a letter fromMadras, informingme thatmy passage hasbeenbookedonasteamersailinginafortnightfromColombo.Itmeansthatinafew days I shall have to leave the Ashram and Maharshi. It means that theecstaticeveningsattheMaster’sfeetwhichhavetransformedmywholebeing,showingvistasofanewandeternallife,havenowtoend.Thenwhat?Willtherebeareturntotheoldlife?Theminddoesnotgiveany

answer—itssilenceisatrap.Iknowthatitwouldbeonlytoogladtoresumeitsold habits of reasonings, doubts and looking for bypaths. But times havechanged. Its life isnomoreMy life,becausemyconsciousness isnowable tofunctionwithout itsmediumandeveninspiteof it. It isnot in themindthatInowconcentratemyhopeandtrust.IrememberwellMaharshi’swords:‘Themindhasitsroleinthedevelopmentofmen,butthisroleislimitedand

canleadonlytoacertainlevel.Beyonditanewonebegins’.I see that the strongest weapon of themind—curiosity and the passion for

investigating transient things—does not find in me such a ready supporter asbefore.Itnowmeetswithcriticism,bornofafirmconvictionthatsuchasearchleads nowhere, that it is just a vicious circle. This reflection suffices to re-establishpeace.Oyes,Iknowthatnothingcanpushmebackintotheformerbypaths,whether

IremainintheAshramfortherestofmylife,orleaveittowanderthroughtheworld.Thisawarenessbringsan incredible,overwhelmingwaveof joy,astreamof

blissbeyondallwords. It somewhat resembles the feelingofanall-embracinglifewhichcanneverbeextinguished.IhadnotnoticedhowandwhenIgotridofthethoughtofandbelief inthe

existenceofdeath,not throughreasoning,but throughimmediateexperience. Ionlynowseemtorememberthatinmysubconsciousnessthereweredefiniteandrepeatedattemptstoimaginemyselffacingdeath,forsakingmypersonality,andobservingwhat then remained ofmyself. These almost unconscious exerciseshave proved that when I discard the instinctive attachment to the form andconditionsofearthly life,whenIamfullyaware that the thingwhichhas ‘myname and appearance’ in this conditioned world is only a dream, then still‘something’remains,independentandself-sufficient.Thereadinesstoleave‘everything’atanymomentisthegatewhichopensthe

waytotheinfinite.

I had not noticed that in almost all circumstances, in happy as well as inpainfulhappeningsandexperiences,inthebackgroundofmymindthereisnowalwaysthehiddenthought:‘Allthishasnorealmeaning’.In what mysterious way the radiant vibrations of the consciousness of the

Saint had been penetrating into the darkest corners of my mind, so limited,narrow and full of shadows, I did not know, nor did I see any reason toinvestigate.Iunderstoodwell,notbythemind,butwithallmyheart,thejoyouswordsofthegreatpoetandmysticofIndia—Kabir,who,tothequestionsofhispupils: ‘How do you know themysteries of spiritual life?’ and ‘What can beknownabouttheaimanddestinyofhumanlife?’answeredinecstaticrapture:‘Truth exists whether we know It or not, just like the Sun which always

shines,whetherablindmanseesitornot.ItisnotimportantwhetherI‘know’aboutthefactsyouask,for—Heknows,HEKNOWS’.IrememberedagainfromthebiographyofMaharshithatthelifeofKabirhad

attractedhisattentionwhenhewasaschoolboyofonlyfourteen,beforehehadmetwithanybookaboutthehigherspirituallife.Mypain,feltsometimeagoattheverythoughtofseparationfromtheMaster

has now disappeared. Some of his words come to me in a strange way, likelivinganswers,notfromwithoutasiffromanotherman,butfromwithin,fromthedepthsofmyownbeing.JustnowIusedawrongexpression,forcanonesaytherearemen’?ImmediatelyacorrectioncameandIgraspeditandunderstood.How can I express my infinite gratitude for the immensity of kindness andassistanceIamgiven?Andoncemore theMastersayswithoutwordorvoice:‘Why have you this thought? Do earthly parents expect gratitude from theirinfantchildrenforalltheirloveandprotection?’The world does not know those occult ties between the sparks of

consciousnesswhichon thephysical plane takehuman forms.Theworldmayevenlaughatthingswhicharebeyonditscomprehension,notbeingcontainedinthe sphereof threedimensionswhereweights andmeasuresexist.Someyearsago my reaction would have been an inner revolt and criticism. Today it issilence.Thissilencetellsmethatineveryfellow-mandownhere,theMasterdwells,

and that I should seeHim in everyone’s eyes.Where are all the ‘differences’whenoneabidesinthelandofreality?Whohaseverseenashadowthere?

*Duringthelastfewdayswewerenotallowedtomeditateasusualforhoursin

the hall in the presence of Maharshi, for he was very weak after some newtreatment.We could only enter through one door, salute theSaint, and go outthrough another one. This was chiefly done by visitors who came for a brief

periodandbytheHinduinmatesoftheAshram.One afternoon when only a young Brahmin, one of the two permanent

attendants,waspresent,IalsocameintoseeMaharshi,atleastforamoment.Ifeltastrangeurgetoobtainhisapproval,asitwere,ofallmyeffortsandofthemodifications taking place in my consciousness under his influence. Intuitiontold me that I could not possibly put my trust—this rarest jewel—into betterhands.Inourordinarylives,howrarearepeoplewhocanboastofhavingevenone

friendintheworldworthyoftheirunconditioned,absoluteconfidence,whichinpracticemeansthepossibilityofunitingtheirconsciousnesswiththatofanother.We generally like to show ‘our best side’ to others. We try to hide ourdisharmonies, fearing that thepersonwhosefriendshipweseekwill turnawayfromus.Wehave towatchoverourwordsandgestures toavoidanypossiblediscord.All this is neither natural nor sincere.Hypocrisy, although in a subtleform,hidesitsheadbehindsuchactions.ButnothingofthiskindcanexistwithMaharshi,wearecertainthatheknowsandunderstandseverythinginus,thatheneverjudgesandthathisattitudetowardsuscanneverbechangedinspiteofalloursinsandimperfections,soclearlyseenbyhim.Andthatisjustthesecretofhismagic influence,ofhiswonderfulwayofhelpingusmostefficiently toridourselves of all our defects and weaknesses. But I also know that there arecertainconditionswhichmakethisinnerchangepossible;nottoadheretothemis a definite hindrance to our spiritual progress. Even the best camera cannotgiveagoodpictureunless the shutteropensproperly, and if the shutterofourconsciousnessremainsclosedinthepresenceoftheMaster,howcanwehopetoreceivetheLightradiatedbyhim?In this I see theexplanationof the fact thatoutof thousandsofpeoplewho

visited theAshramof theSageofArunachala,very fewwereable to take fulladvantageofhislight.Justnow,inhispresence,Iseeitclearly,butImayforgetit when I have to return to worldly life and plunge into far less propitiouscircumstances.Iamthereforeanxioustowritedownmyimpressionsnow.Oftenpeopleareunable toget ridofoldprejudices, theoriesoracceptedbeliefs,andwhentheyseeMaharshitheytrytogivehimthenameofa‘Yogi’,a‘Saint’,a‘Mahatma’, thus lookingathim through theirown inner colouredglasses, andlabelling himby somewell-known term to suit their own ideaswhich are theoutcomeoftheirspiritualignorance.Theirreasoningrunsmoreorlessasfollows:‘Yes,heisundoubtedlyaSaint,

yet there have been greater ones in the world— Buddha, Christ. They havecertainly been quite different.We haveTheir teachings, and nobody can denyTheirgreatness’.Otherssay:‘Inthefar-offHimalayasthereareYogiswhoare

miracleworkers,theyhavebeenlivingforhundredsofyearsandcontrollingtheforces ofNature; are they not greater, or at least equal toMaharshi?’And so,instead of taking advantage of the living Presence, they dream about otherMasters.TothesepeopleIwouldliketosay:‘WasitnotaboutsuchasyouthatChrist

said:’‘Havingeyes,seeyenot?Andhavingears,hearyenot?’Not knowing anything about other great teachers save secondhand

informationlearnedfrombooksaboutThemwrittenbyTheirpupilsorbylaterhistorians; not having themselves seen those personages during Their earthlywanderings,suchpeoplecompareThemwitha livingpresence,whosemissionis to give us the eternal truth in a formmost suitable for our times. FindingthemselvesfacetofacewiththedignifiedandvenerablepresenceofMaharshi,unable to feel his spiritual magnitude and glory, they still seem dissatisfied,perhapslongingtoseesome‘supernatural’phenomena,somedazzlinglightoverthe head of theSage, or the instantaneous healing of their physical bodies, soimmersed insinandselfishnessas theyare.And if thesewondersdidhappen,theymightstilldisbelieveandlookforhiddenelectricwiresandlampsasagentsof the ‘miracles’ performed, or attribute the healing to some new medicinerecentlytaken.If such people had lived two thousand years ago and had seen the Great

Teacher whose authority they now quote being led through the streets to anapparently ignominious and terrible death, they would have shouted brutallywiththecrowdwhenHewasontheCross:‘IfthoubetheSonofGod,comedownfromtheCross’.ItisaboutthemthatHesaid:‘…Theyseekasign,andthereshallnosignbegiventhem’.Are not all ‘miracles’ when performed among materialistic men utterly

aimless? The reason why they take place so rarely and only under peculiarcircumstancesseemscleartome:Providenceonlyallowsthemtohappeniftheirresultscanbringadefinitegood.

CHAPTERXXXVIII

MyNewConceptionofLife

Oneof themostdifficult tasks facingmeduringmystay in theAshram is theneedtofindacleardefinitionofmynewconceptionoflifeassuch.Itseemstobeacentralpointinme,roundwhicheverythingrevolvesintheconsciousnesswhichismy‘Self’.Thisconceptionmustbefinalandabsolute,asnootheronewillbeacceptabletomySelf.Out of hundreds of definitionswhich I havemet, not one seemed to give a

perfectsynthesis.Thosewhichareconditionedmustbedroppedasfalse.Thosewhich use too abstract a terminology and are impossible to put into practice,seem to me mere mental acrobatics good for retired professors of theoreticalphilosophy,butnot for amanwho strives for spiritual attainment.Yet I knowthattheremustexist.onewhichwillappealtothedepthsofmybeingandwhichwillprovokeneitherdoubtnorcriticism,foritwillbeintunewithmyowninnerexperience.Allwhohaverealizedtruth-life,speakofItwiththegreatestenthusiasmasthe

onlygoal,fortheattainmentofwhicheverythingshouldbesacrificed,sinceallelseisanillusion.Yettheirwordsseemlikebeautifulandcharmingsoundsfroman unknown instrument. Inmy search I had to discard all that is conditioned,limited by name and form. That which remains with no form nor veils mustnecessarilybelifeitself.Theprocessof inquiry—chiefly throughmeditation—hasshownme that the

moreIdiscardtheideaoftherealityofthevisible,thenearerIfeelmyselftobeto my goal. What are the stages of this process in practice? Of course it isimpossible todescribe them indetail, but thegeneral lines are simple enough.Beginning tomeditate in utter peace and coolness on the relation of outwardobjects to my Self, I often seem to grasp the truth, that they do not meananythingtothe‘Self’.Inthismomentdawnsakindofvisionofthepossibilityofexistence independent of all conditions. This ‘vision’—it is not a strict nor aquitesuitableword—lastsforashorterorlongertime,dependingonthedegreeof concentration achieved, but its results remain asmemory of a thing lastingand certain beyond the shadow of a doubt. It finds expression in the thought:‘onlyconsciousnessislife’.Consciousnessunattachedtoanything,independentofeverything,thebareassertion:‘IAm’.Butthis‘I’isnotthesmallselfcontainedinthetransientbodilyformwithits

senses,whichisintruththeantithesisoftherealSelf.This‘I’consciousnessisnearest to the term often used in modern philosophic literature—‘cosmic

consciousness’,orthe‘cosmicself’.Thisconsciousnessisalsoanabsolutebliss.

CHAPTERXXXIX

‘SeekjefirsttheKingdomofGod…’

SeekyefirsttheKingdomofGod,andhisrighteousness;andallthesethingsshallbeaddeduntoyou.’

Thissentenceisthekeytounderstandingthefateofourworld.Providencewillneverforsakeonewhoisreallyseekingforlight.This,however,doesnotmeanthatspiritualsearchcanbringworldlyriches.Butthese‘riches’arenotcravedbythediscipleofwisdom;hefeelsfarhappierandmorefreeinpossessingaverylimited number of things, and desires that his means will be just enough tomaintain his physical vehicle and its activity ‘according to the great plan’ asoccultistssay.Thesematerialpossessionsvaryinquantityandqualityaccordingto the climate and the part of the globe where the disciple dwells. Maharshicouldspendallhis lifewithnootherpossessionsthanasmallvesselforwater(the traditional ‘kamandulu’) and a bamboo stick to help him climb the steepslopesofArunachala.Clothesinthisclimatecanbereducedtoaloin-cloth,andtheage-oldsimplewaysoflife,adoptedbyIndiansasbestsuitedtothetropics,reducetoaminimumtheneedsofahumanbeing.Butinothercolderclimatesitis not so simple: our skin is not a sufficient protection against the changes ofweather.More garments are needed as well as suitable houses. These are necessary

conditions of existence in colder countries, and this creates other needs andcomplicationsasregardsthematerialsideoflife.Henceforusitisneitherasinnor a vanity to have somewhat more possessions than has the Sage ofArunachala.Theproblemliesnotsomuch in thepossessions themselvesas inourattitude towards them.Ifweregard themasanunavoidableattributeoflifeon thephysicalplane,according to theexigenciesofNature, it isall rightandtheywillnotbeanobstacleinoursearchfortheKingdomofHeaven.Butifwearecontinuallyrunningfromoneobjectofthesensestoanotherand

are full of craving, making the acquisition of possessions our chief goal andlosing sight of the highest purposes of life, thenwe are not seeking truth butthese‘otherthings’.Inthiscaseweobviouslydonotfindeither,forwehavenopermanentsatisfactionfrommaterialpossessions,and,aswedesertourdeeperbeing—called ‘soul’ in theGospels—we prepare for ourselves further ages ofsuffering.Ifwelookroundus,wemustadmitthatinthepresentstageofevolution,the

majority of people exist only for the satisfaction of a craving for worldly

possessions,anddonotseeanythingbeyond.Bythedecreesofprovidencetherearealwayslessrichesthanselfishdesiresandappetites.Isitnottoremindusofour true Goal? When the craving for possessions grows, there appear activeattempts to take them from other—generally weaker—individuals or nations.Andnewwavesofviolenceandevil arecreated,with theirunavoidable result—suffering.Suffering,somuchhatedandshunnedbyallhumanbeingsis,infact,theonly

antidoteneutralizingthepoisonofevilinourselves.When,undermightyblows,glimpses of understanding of its cause dawn in our consciousness, our path,insteadof descending lower and lower, begins to turnupward andmounts theascendingpartofthearcofevolution.Thenthe‘searchfortruth’begins.Whenthe time is ripe a definite turn upwards is made; we meet a Being who hascompleted thisevolutionarycourseandhasacquired thefullnessofexperienceand wisdom. He is the perfect man, called by the Hindus the Guru, whichliterally means ‘one who dispels darkness’ and by the West—Master, Saint,Messenger of God. Everyone who is allowed by providence to meet andapproachaMasterisbythatveryfectpartakingofHisgrace.Itisatremendousopportunityforgrowthandatthesametimeagreatresponsibility.Accordingtothe beliefs of my Hindu friends, which are based on the Vedas, there is nogreaterpossibleblunderinthislifethantomisstheopportunitythussenttofulfiltheintentionsoftheMostHigh.InMaharshi’senvironmenttherearestrangehappeningstoo.Notallcanstand

thevibratorypoweroftheinvisibleradianceofthepresenceofonewhoispurespirit.Therearecasesof temporaryorpermanent lossofbalance,ofmentaloremotionalpoise.Thereareextravagances,foolishnesses,andnonsensicalactionsperformedwithabelief in their reasonableness.But therearealsocaseswhereobvious innerdisharmoniesarehealed in thepresenceof theSaint.Ofcourse,thosebenefitmostwhocandeeplyunderstand the teachingsof theMasterandgrasptheirinnerhiddenmeaning.Suchameaningundoubtedlyexists,inspiteofthe utter simplicity and directness of Maharshi’s words. It could not beotherwise, for his teachings belong to the realm of the Spirit, of Reality, andwhen re-veiled inwords forour sake, in thisveryprocess their pristinepuritymustnecessarilybemodifiedbythelimitationsofmind,thoughtandword.TheassimilationofMaharshi’steachingsisaprocesssimilartothatofremembering.TheSagesaysthattherealSelf—(Truth—Spirit—Godbeingdifferentnamesforthe same reality) is always and everywhere present. It is therefore also in ourownconsciousness,whichignorancecoverswithaveilofthoughts.‘All that is reallynecessary is the removalof theveils.Then theLightwill

shinebyItselfandpermeateallyourbeing, thenthere isnoneedofseekingIt

somewhereelse’.FromMaharshi’sSayings

TheKingdomofHeaveniswithinus,yetwecannotrememberit.Wereitnotthe greatest tragedy of Mankind, it could be regarded as a paradox or as agiganticjest.

CHAPTERXL

WhatisMeditation?

Meditation can be properly performed only when the mind is cleansed of allthoughts.Almosteverystudentofoccultismknowsofthiscondition,but—fewcanreallyachieveit.Thosewhobelong todifferentoccultormysticalsocietiesoftenbelieve that

meditation consists in the effort of directing the mind into certain channelsaccordingtopreconceivedideas.Theresultsofsuchexercises—theycannotbecalledmeditation—aregenerallypoor,eventhoughtheymaybepractisedoveraperiod of years, and they do not lead to the effective purification of themindfromthought.Usually, advanced members of such organizations are given methods and

rules, which are often inefficient. There are two kinds which we can callartificialandnaturalmeans.The first group is based on imagination or mental conceptions. Endless

exercisesaregiven,afewofthemostimportantbeing:

(a)Theimaginingofthepossessionofavirtuelackinginthestudent.Ifheisofasensualtype,hemustthinkofhimselfaschasteduringthetimeappointedforthemeditation.

(b)Hecanprotecthimselffrominvasionofthoughtsfromoutsidebythementalcreationofanastralshellaccordingtoinstruction.

(c)Bytheuseofincantationsormantrashecanreachthenecessaryconcentrationoracquiescenceofmind,thuskeepingtooneideaforsomeconsiderableperiodoftime.

Inthesecondgroup(naturalmeans)Iwouldfirstmentionprayerdirectedtowhatonebelievestobethesupremebeing.Ifsuchprayerisutterlysincere,andif one is prepared to give enough time to regular practice, the result can besatisfactoryandthemindclearedofeverythingbuttheobjectofmeditation.Thencancomethe‘vacuum’inthethinkingprocess,whichisthenfilledwith

truelightfromitssource—theSelf-God.Ifone isblessedonhiswaythroughlifebymeetingaspiritualMaster, then

everythingbecomessimpleandeffective.Manydisciplesinthoseprecioustimesofspiritualcontactvisualizehimasseen,inthephysicalbody.Suchanimage,livingandpowerful,isadeadlyweaponagainstthestrategyoftherestlessmind.Nothing is more effective than this when combined with the Vichara; but in

order to use Self-Inquiry properly, some steadiness of mind must first beattained.Man’semotionsmustalsobecleansed;forthispurposethevisionofaliving

Masterhasnosubstitute.Inamysteriouswaythepowerofsuchavisionisalsoinherent inhis (theMaster’s)pictures.Perhaps this is for theaidof thosewhowerenotabletoseehiminthephysicalbody.Experienceandpracticeshowthatalmostasbeneficialresultscanbebroughtaboutfromthecontemplationofsucha picture. When at last the vacuum or void in consciousness is reached andfirmlyestablished,truemeditationcanbeapproached,butnotearlier.ThentheconsciousnessofthetrueSelfwillitselffillthevacuum.Nomoreinstructionisneeded,forthetrueSelftakesovertheguidanceandthegoalisreached.Insuchmeditation there are no visions or feelings. Maharshi often warned againstecstaticvisions,pointingoutthatourgoalispureawarenessandnothingelse.IfthisawarenessisattaineditinevitablyleadsustoSamadhi,andthisisthe

trueaimofmeditation.Elsewhereinthisbookitiscalled‘theawakeningfromthedream-statecallednormalphysicalconsciousness’.There are signs which indicate that our meditation is really leading us to

Samadhi,whenweare free fromall thoughtof thebodyandof the‘ego’,andwhen thoughtsand feelingsare stilled. ‘Goodandevil’cease toexist—weseenothing, for there isnothing to see.Yetwearenot indarkness,butmerged inlight being ourselves this light.We cannot see It for in this state there is nosubjectandnoobject.Thiscangivebutaveiledhintofthetruestatetoonewhohasnotexperiencedsuchmeditationforhimself,forthisisthediscoveryofthetrueSelfinman.Allthatwerecognizeasobjects—thatistheouterworldplusourvisiblebody

—islikeapainting.Thecoloursinitarethequalitiesofthings.Inthesethingsare held all material forms, feelings, thoughts, good and evil, true and false,everythingthatweknowastheuniverse.TheyareliketheseparatedcoloursofthewhitelightorGod-Self,brokenup

by the prism of the material universe, as the Maharshi told us. If you couldimaginethesamepicturepaintedwithonlythebasicwhiteLight,unbrokenbythebewitchedprism—thatwouldbeSpirit,Self orGod, theultimate truthofbeing.ThatiswhytheMastersaid:‘ThereisnothingbutthepureBeing,whichaloneexistsandoursolepurposeinlifeistorealizeItforourselves’.Rightmeditationleadstothediscoveryofthisgreatmystery.Allothermeans

mentioned in different Yogas such as breath control, mind control, bodypostures, special foods and attitudes of the mind, and so on, are onlyintermediarystepsonthepathtothegoal,takenbyourmaterialnaturewhenwestep onto the Direct Path to the summit. This attainment makes these

intermediary steps unnecessary.When the train reaches a certain station, onedoesnotgobacktocountthemilestonesalreadypassed.Thusattunementwiththe Self produces of its own accord the right postures, breathing andimperviousnesstoinfluencesfromtheouterworld.ButthisDirectPathisnotsuitableforeveryone.Theveryfactthatthereare

otherPathspointstothis.ManyYogis whom Imet, although fully conscious of the existence of this

sublime path, continued to follow their own particular methods as proper fortheminthislife.

CHAPTERXLI

TechniquesofMeditation

One of the initiations through which we pass while in the presence of theMaharshi,istruemeditationwhichyearsofstudyofoccultliteraturehadassuredmewas thekey to theawakeningof supra-physical consciousness.DuringmyallegiancetoTheosophy.Ipractiseddifferentformsofmeditationinaccordancewiththeirliterature.FromwhatIhavesincefoundout,theknowledgegivenwasforbeginners.Theiraimwastodirectthemindintocertaindeliberatelychosenchannelsof

thought. There were meditations on different themes such as Beauty, Love,Purity, Wisdom, Devotion, God, the Creator of the Universe and so on. Theobjectwastokeeptheseideasinthemindaslongaspossible,andtoimaginetheworkingoutofthesevirtuesintheconsciousness.Such‘meditations‘cancreatecertaincurrentsofthoughtinthemind,conditioningittoapositiveforcewhichactivatesthethinking.Suchexerciseshaveacertainusefulness,foritissaid‘amanisashethinks’.Inotherwords themannerof aman’s thinkingcreateshisworthiness. If he

associateshimselfwithgoodandpositivethoughtshisnaturewillbeimproved;ifwithnegativeandevilcurrents—hewillretrogradeandfall.Allthisistrueintherelativefield,butisfoundedontheassumptionthatman’sconsciousnessisderivedfromhisthinkingapparatusormind.Formerlyitwasimpossibleformetoconceiveofanythingbeyondmind.Its

oceanwasshoreless,andfromeachislandasIreachedit,thereappearedothersstilltobeinvestigated.Thegoalcouldneverbereachedbythisprocess.Iknownowthatthereisnolimittothemind’sactivityeitherforgoodorevil.Man can elevate hismind, as do theYogis, and perform ‘miracles’ as have

manyofthesaintsofallreligions.Themindisapower,andwhencontrolledanddirected,itsforceandsubtletyareapparentlyunlimited.Butonlyapparently,forthepowerofthemindisbasedonthefalsenotionthatthereisonewhothinks,and an object of thought. This is the old lie of duality, and its end cannot bebroughtaboutbytheennoblementoftheinstrument.The subject and object still exist. This conception hinders the realization of

theunrealityoftheouterworld.AndtocountthisasrealisaninsurmountableobstacleonthepathofrealizationofthetrueSelfinman.Solongasaman’sconsciousnessisunabletomergeinthewhole,therewill

alwaysbe thenecessityforre-birthsandincarnations inmatter.Thebewitchedcircleisclosed.

Strangely, from the first days of my stay at the Ashram, my old mentalmeditationswereforgottenandIcouldnotpractisetheminthepresenceoftheMaster.Soitstillis,andformetherewillbenoreturntothoseoldcurrentsofthought.Everydaythereisamoreandmoreurgentinnerinclinationtobestill,to remainwithout thought, tomerge in the silence. The inaudible inner voicetellsmethatthereliesthetruth.Maharshi himself insisted on the necessity for meditation, but what did he

meanbythisterm?Hecallstruemeditation‘silence’,‘beingstill’,‘stillness’.Soitwasthesamepowerwhichdrewmethenandnow.While one is immersed inwater one cannot see anything above thewater’s

surface.Theworldaboveisveiledfromsight.Togainthewiderhorizononehasto rise out of thewater, andonly thenwill one realize how limitedwasone’sformervision.Solongasmanismergedintheworldofthought—therealmofmind—hisconsciousnesswillbeboundedbyitslimitations.Thoughtmustalwayshaveanobject,howeversublimeitmaybe, thus there

mustalwaysbetwo,notone.Thereforethoughtanditsprocessesisablindalley.TheMaster’spowerreleasedmefromalldesiretofollowthisby-path.Itwas

simplyforgotten,asmentionedbefore.InapreviouschapterofthisdiaryitwassaidthatIamnotabelieverinmiracles.SoIcannotputthehelpandactivityoftheMasterintothiscategory.Butthefactremains,andthatisallthatmatters.InthismannerIcameatlasttothesecretoftruemeditation.ThisstatewhenIamaware of being apart from the thinking process can be called truemeditation.ThisAwarenessisthesourceofallLife,ofthatwhichismylife.Itisthesourceofeverything.FromItaloneIdrawallthatmakespossiblewhatIsayonthesepages.WhatIcanexpressistragicallylittle.When I first realized the impossibility of conveying anything more than

fragmentsfromthissource,itseemedtomethattherestmustbelost.Aftermyfirst plunge into silence (see Chapter ‘The Darshan Resumed’), I could notremember much about that experience and I simply said that the bridge wasdestroyed.Now it is different. Perhaps themind-brain has learned to transmitsomethingmoreofthishigherrealmofconsciousness.Itisimmaterialwhatthereasonis,thefactaloneisimportant.Buthowcanone enter this stateof supra-mentalmeditation?Analysing the

processinmyself,Ifindthatfirst,mustcomethestoppingofallthoughts.TheVichararipensthemindsothatinterestinthethinkingprocessvanishes,andthestillingofthemind,sodifficultinthepast,becomeseasy.Secondly,whenthemindisstill, therearisesastrongurgetobeunitedwith

thewhole,butwhatthiswholeis,cannotyetbeconceivedandIfeelthatIcouldneverattainitalone.Theclosestcomparisonis—meltinganddissolvinginThat

which alone Is. It is different to leaving the body or ego for there is nomovement. One remains where one is, but is not what one was before.Everythingthatcouldbeseenorfeltbeforeisnowapartfromme.Nomorecanbetold.Thirdly, thestateofunitywiththewholebringsanunshakablecertaintythat

only this state is real andpermanent.That it is that last refugewhichonehasalways sought, and fromwhich one can nevermore be lost. There is nothingbeyondit,for—itisall.Theconceptionthatweknowas‘death’isobliterated,butthisdoesnotmean

thatweareinthatstatethoughtofas‘lifeafterdeath’.Theonlyfactoneknowsis,thatthislifewillalwaysgoon.In this state of being there are no such false distinctions of time as past,

present,andfuture.Itispossibletoforcelanguagetoconveytothemindsomethingofthatwhich

onebringsback fromsuch ameditation, but it is likely tobeofno avail, andmorelikelytobemisunderstood.Andthereisnocertaintythatotherswillcometo this kind of silent meditation by the same way as oneself. So that anydescriptioncanonly suggestandeven thatmaynotbeanappropriatepath foranother.ThereisamysteriousexperiencewhichprovesthepoweroftheVichara.The

MasterinsistedthatweshouldnotuseitasaMantra,thatis,aswordsonly,butsoakeachquestionwiththedesiretoknow‘WhoAmI?’.ByusingtheVicharainthisway,afterstillingthemind,theanswercomesofitself,butwithoutwordsorthought—youknowwhoyouare.Whatfollows—isinexpressible.This is the great service which Maharshi performed for humanity—the

weldingofthisinfallibleinstrumentofachievement,theinspiredVichara.

CHAPTERXLII

Departure

Two days more and I shall have to leave the Ashram. I have to pay severalfarewell visits to my friends. Some having learned that my departure is nearcometoseemeinmycellforthelasttime.I was feverish during these last evenings due to inoculations imposed on

everybody who leaves India. In the tropics fever is felt more than in coldercountries; but on the whole my body supported the beautiful climate ofTiruvannamalaiquitewell,andthisfeverbroughtonbyanoutsidecausewastheonlyindispositionduringmyentirestayinIndia.I have first to go to Madras, to spend a few days in the magnificent

headquartersof theTheosophicalSocietyinAdyar,whereIhadalreadypaidashortvisitonmywaytotheAshram.Allkindsofformalitiesasregardstransitvisaswilltakeseveraldays.ThentherewillbearailwayjourneythroughSouthIndiatoCeylon,andfinally—theIndianOcean.In my conversations with friends I expressed my belief—or rather

premonition—thatIshouldreturntotheAshrambeforelong;theyalsofeltthatwe would meet again. But I did not speak to anyone about the secondpremonition,no,aninnercertainty—thatIshouldnevermoreseetheMasterinhisphysicalbody.Iwrotethissentencealmostunconsciously,andwasmyselfterrifiedtoreadit.

Itmeantthathisplaceinthetemplehall,inthedining-room,onthepathsoftheAshram’sCompound,would remaindesertedandempty.Howshall Ibear thisemptinessanddarknesswhenthebrightshininglampdisappears,thegreatlampwhose light truly dispels all ‘darkness’ in me? And my perfidious foe—thecreator of thoughts—catches the chance of dealingme a blow: ‘Oh, you havealreadyburiedtheMaster;whileheisstillalive,youareimagininghowyouwillfeelafterhisdeparture’.Thiswas toomuch forme,black lighttiing flashed inmybrain. Itprobably

lastedfornotmorethanahundredthpartofasecond,butitwasenoughforMr.Xsittingbymysidetoseizemyhandwithalarm:‘What’sthematterwithyou?What do you see?’—But it is over; themoment I asked themagic question‘WhoAmI?’Irecoveredthebalance,whosemomentarylossmighthavebeendangerous.Inaddition,Isawoncemorehowillusoryisthethingwecall—time.‘Athousandyearsarelikeadayandonedayislikeathousandyears’.ThemysticsentenceoftheBiblesoundsinmyears.‘Nothingspecial,deardoctor’,Iansweredquietly.‘Itisprobablytheresultof

that lastcholera inoculation,sucha formidabledosewas injectedbyyourniceSurgeon’.‘AlthoughitisratherearlyandBhagavanwillnotcomeforhalfanhour,yetI

would gladly sit for a while in the hall; it is quiet now and probably quiteempty’,saysmycompanion.Wegetup,myfirststepsarerathershaky.HaveItobelievemyownwordsaboutinoculation?The time ofmy departure is fixed for the day after tomorrow, in the early

morning.TonightImusttakeleaveofMaharshiandaskhispermissiontodepart.Thiscustomisaformality,butthedeepersideofitissomuchmoreimportant.ThesearethelasthoursintheimmediatepresenceoftheMaster,theFriend,theProtector.Theywillneverberepeated.WhatcomfortshallIfind,whatSunwillwarmthetinygermsborninthepresenceoftheGreatRishi?It is so silent inmy room.Thewatchman has retired after having done his

duty—bringingdrinkingwater.Theservantgirlhasalsodisappeared,usingthefewfreehoursbeforethemealforherownpleasure:shemaycarrybricksatanearby building site. I bolt my door and sitting in a proper posture formeditation,Iplungewithallmythoughts,worriesandfeelingsintosilence,therealmofthetrueSelf.Whatastrangeimpression:thegradualdisappearanceoftheouterworldsufficestobringhappiness.Evenifthispreliminarystagewerenot to be followed by higher grades, it would constitute in itself a kind ofparadise.Butitisonlytheoutercourt.Yettoreachthisveryoutercourt,thirtyyearsofsearchwereneeded.Some interferenceon thepartof themind is starting: ‘somany things tobe

done’,itsays,‘severalconversations,letterstobefinished,atelegramtobesenttoMadrasandthisthingandthat’.Butthistimethereisnostruggle,norefforttoquieten it down. Who is interested in these petty things? Will not Someonegreater take care of them when I neglect them? And thoughts disappear bythemselves,asmyinterestinthemceasestoexist.Iamnowsoaringininfinite‘space’,strangelysilentandempty,yetthrobbing

withintenselife.No,Iammistakeninmyattempttoputintowordswhatwordscannot contain, for in truth I do not feel any movement; rather ‘this all’ isflowingthroughme,andIamonlyawitness. In thenextstageIutterlyforgetmypersonality(ego),itsname,form,position;theconsciousnessoftheseparate‘I’ is lost. The more light which can pass through the modest ‘focus’ of myconsciousness,thelesstiesIfeellinkingmewiththeworld.Iamable,however,tostopinthisflightandinquire—withoutthoughts—whatisitthatstillbindsmetoMaya—theillusionofmatterandform—andwhatmoreshouldIdiscard?Butthe overwhelming silence deprives these observations of any inquisitive outercharacterandchangesthemintoaprocessofunionwiththewhole.

This‘space’ispeculiar,itisliketheinnersideofallpossiblephysicalspaces.So,bysoaringinthis‘inner’spaceonecanbeasneartothefartheststar,astothebloodcellinthetinyvesselsofourbrain.Togothroughsuchtranscendentalexperiences,oneconditionisnecessary—itisthecapacitytocontrolandtostopatwillthefunctionsofthemind,thatis,allthoughts.Thebrightpenetratinglightshining‘here’showsmethatIdonotyetrealize

thenatureofthoughts.IonlyknowfromtheMaster’steachingshowweshouldtreatthem,andthisfromthepracticalsidesufficestoachievethecontrol.Ihad just finishednoticing thesebitsof thoughts,whenaknockat thedoor

broughtme‘back’tomyordinaryconsciousness.Itwastheservantgirlbringingindriedtowels.ShetriestoexplaintomeinTamilthatitisnoonandshemusttake the vessels and bringmymeal.Andwith something of a smile she castscovetous glances towardsmy shelf where beautiful bananas are tempting her.Should Iagree, shecertainlywouldbehappy tomakeamealof thisdeliciousfruit;butItrytoconvinceherthatfruitshouldbeeatenonlyafteragoodmealofricewithghee.YetevenuptothetimeofmydepartureIneversucceededinconvincingher.

CHAPTERXLIII

Farewell

I am returning from the temple hall, where people were passing beforeMaharshi’scouch,asinaprocession.Ihavenottakenpartinit.Iamwaitingfor6p.m.whentheflowofvisitorsstops.Fromsixtillseventy-thirtytheMasterisoftenalone.Henceitisthebesttimetoapproachandtakeleaveofhim.Thenightisexceptionallyhotwithnobreeze,notevenabreathoftheusual

coolereasternwind.Theroadisempty,andthereisnooneattheAshramgate,onlyseveralmotorcarsstandinitslargecourtyard.Twilightreignsinthetemplehall.Istopforamomentatthedoor.Maharshiis

sittinginhishabitualposture,recliningonpillowsandlookingintospace.Oneoftheyoungattendantsissittinginacorner,almostinvisibleinitsdarkness.Nooneelseisinthehall.Maharshinowseesmeandaslightsmileappears.Iapproachhim,butallthe

well-preparedwordsoffarewellandthelastrequestsdisappearfrommymind.Itremainsempty,thereisnot.evenasinglethought.Isaluteandstopquiteneartohim.Helooksintomyeyes.Iplungeintothe

lightofHis.Nowordsarenowneeded.IknowthattheSaintreadsmyheart.HehasseeneachwordinmymindevenbeforeIputthemtogether.Deepdownsomesadnessfluttersinme.Iseeforthelasttimetheonewhois

myMasterandmyFriend,whoselikeIshallneverfindagain,wereItosearchalltheworlds.YetasubtlebutirresistiblewaveofstrengthflowsfromHim.Itcarriesawaythiscloudandpenetratesthroughthewholeofmybeing.Nowmyconsciousness is pure and transparent, I feel it is thus that I wanted to standbeforeHim.IseeakindofencouragementtoexpressmyselfinwordsemanatingfromHis

beautifulface.Well,Isaytomyself,Ishalltryifitisnecessary.AndIbegintotellHimslowlyandclearlythatIhavetoleavetheAshramand

begHispermission,andafterHenodsinconsent,IproceedtoaskHisblessingformypresent,myfuture,and--forever.Hiseyesseemevenmoreluminous,theface, expressing a superhuman kindness, seems to become more serious. Hegivesmetheblessing.IknowHeseesmynext,stillunexpressedentreaty.Idonot hear any words, yet I feel He is asking me whether I am aware of themeaning of my own prayer. And, without moving my lips, I give Him myanswer.Yet all is so natural, so simple, so real, that Iwould rather doubtmystandingherethanthismuteconversation.Ashortsilencefollows.O,Icouldstandlikethis,nearhimwithoutend,foralleternity,withnoother

wishinmyheart.Minutesseemtopass,thoughtheymaybeonlyseconds.The last request which I wanted to express is, according to the Master’s

teaching,akindofconcessiontothevisible,hencetheunreal,world.Itisforthepupil tohaveavisible, tangiblesignof theGuru’sgrace,sanctifiedbyagesoftradition. I had been told that Maharshi never gives it, and even in hisbiographies,Ihadreadtheanswersgivenbyhimtosuchrequests.Itmeantthathewascarefulandstrictevenwithappearances.Buthere,now,whenIamstandingbeforehimwithanopenheart,feelingall

thatistakingplacewithjoyandcertainty,howcouldIberefused?AssoonasIbeginmysentencesomewhatshyly,hiswonderfulsmilecomes

toencourageme.Ibowmyheadandfeelthetouchofhishandonmybrow,thedelicatetouch

of his fingers along my head. A subtle current of power and purity passesthroughmywholeframe.LikeinalightningflashIrealizethat thepowerof thismomentwillsustain

meinalltheyearstocome,anditslightwillforevershineonmylife.Wedonottalkanymore.Isaluteforthelasttime,henodsintheHinduway

whichdenotesconsentorapprobation,andIwithdrawslowlytowardsthedoor,lookingatHisfacewithallintensity,toengraveitforeverinthedepthsofmyheart. Iwalk in a joyouspeaceback tomycell, through thedarkpathsof thegarden.AfewAshramfriendsaccompanymetomygate,inperfectsilence,forIndiansknowhowtobehaveinsolemnmoments.Theinnervoicesays:separationfromtheMasterisnomorepossible.Andso

ithasproved.

CHAPTERXLIV

Colombo

TheDanushkodiExpress iscarryingmetowardstheSouth.Mycompanionsinthecompartmentare three Indianscientists,membersofascientificdelegationfromNewDelhi.TwoaregoingtoLondonandonetoSwitzerland,thelatterisaculturedphysician,andauthorofseveralbooksinEnglish.Heinquiresabouttheclimate of Europe and asks if the cold is very severe. I inform him thatNovember—hewillarriveinGenevainthatmonth—willnotbeverypleasanttohis taste, andadd tomyself,howhappy Iwouldbe to feel that coolautumnaltemperature of the Old Continent instead of this unbearable heat in ourcompartment.Twoelectricfansareworkingdayandnight,butitisnotenough.Theburningwallsofthecargiveoutheatonallsides.Fortunatelymydressisaslightaspossible,shortsandthinopenshirt.Iamlookingthroughthewindowonasadlandscape,thesandywastesofthis

last south-easternpartof the IndianPeninsula.People seem tobehalf-starved.Happilytherearenotsomanybeggarsatthestationstoapproachthedoors,forthey are less hopeful of alms when they see only Indian faces in thecompartment,andIaminvisiblefromwithout,hiddeninacornerunderafan.At last we change for the boat which is to take us to the other shore—to

Ceylon.AfteronemorenightinthetrainwereachColombo.TheDoctortakesleaveandgivesmeawell-publishedpamphletwithanicededication. I findattheendofitalistofallthebookswrittenbyhim.Mycompanionshavetowaitthreedays for their steamer. Ihaveonly two inwhich tovisitColombo.Afterour arrival I am going to look at the town and then at 4 p.m. findMr.R., towhom I have an introduction from Madras. He is an elderly, handsome andcultured gentleman, an ardent devotee ofMaharshi, and after a fewwordswebecamefriends.He takesme tohisbungalow,abouthalf anhour’s journeybybus from the

town.AftermybathIputonIndiandress,mostcomfortableinthisclimateandmeet my host on the spacious verandah, where a few of his friends, elderlygentlemen in spotless white, have gathered, and his son, a student of theColomboUniversity.We talk about our experiences in theAshram, as all theguests have gone there several times, and naturally we talk about Maharshihimself.Iamstruckbythedegreeofdevotionandvenerationfeltintheirwordsabout him. The West may envy this deep sense of reverence which makesIndiansinstinctivelyrecognizespiritualgreatnessandsaintlinesswherevertheymeetit.Howfarwearefromthisquality!TheWesteasilyrecognizesmaterial

powerandfame,diplomasandcertificatesoflearningandthequalityofdaringenterprise, but such a rare phenomenon as Maharshi would pass almostunnoticed. TheWest is seeking infallible solutions for its burning social andnational problems, but strangely enough it does not see, or even avoids, thosewho have found the answer. And what is worse, the feverish hurry andmaterialismoftheWesthasbeencommunicatedtosomeoftheEasternpeople,thusincreasingtheirsufferingsandthedangersaroundthem.Our conversation runs smoothly and harmoniously, no one wanting to

convince the other or to impose his own opinions arbitrarily.We talk simplyaboutourconvictionsandexperiences,knowingthateveryonemayseeaportionoftruthandnoonecanpossessItinitsfullness.Wearetryingtofindcommonpointsandprinciplesanddonotdwellonpossibledifferences.Ithinkthebasisofourunderstandingofeachotherisourcommonbeliefthat

theOnewhocreated thisUniverse for apurposeknownonly toHimself, alsoknowshow toguide it in thebestpossibleway. If onehas sucha firmbelief,thenallone’sambitionsanddesirestochangetheworlddropaway.Wecanseethat these human ambitions in the past as well as in the present history ofMankinddonotgive satisfactory results.Weall agree that thewordsof thosewhohaveseenCauses, inuniting theirconsciousnesswith thatof theHighest,havemoreweightandvaluethanthosepeoplewhomoveamongtheshadowsoftheresults,castbycausestotheminvisibleandunknown.WearelinkedbyourcommonreverenceandloveforMaharshi.Allofussee

inhimtheMasterwhoenablesus,inproportiontoourspiritualcapacitytoseeglimpsesofTruth.Wespeakofhim,eachonetellingofhisownexperiences.Westopfromtime

totimetofeelmorevividlythesubtlespiritualcurrentwhentheMasterappearsbeforeourinnereyes.Weunderstandeachothersowellinthesemoments;asifwehadbeenfriendsforages.NooneinterruptstheSilence,nooneisboredbyit.Alas,IshallneveragainbeabletoboastofourWesternartofconversation.Ourhost leavesus foramomentandwesmell thesubtlearomaof incense;

whenhereturnsheinvitesuswithagraveandkindlygesture,insilence,tohislittleprivateshrine.AsmallaltarwithpicturesofIndianSaintsstandsnearthewall, with symbolic figures of deities beside it. A few mantras engraved ingolden lettersarehangingon thewallsandcomplete thesettingof thissimplelittleshrine.Alightisburningandincensesticksarebeforethealtar.Thereisnootherfurnituresaveafewmatsonthefloor.Wesitinonerowwithcrossedlegs.Iaminthemiddlewithmyhost,andon

his right his wife and son, who at his bidding recites a few verses from theVedas.Theincensesmokerisesinthinspiralsintothesilentair.Ithink:‘Letour

meditation—it may also be called “prayer"—rise like this smoke into thoseregionswhere,sadnessanddarknessareunknown’.WeplungeintoSilence.Idonotdoubtthatmycompanionsareinthesamemood.Itisthemarvellous

characteristicofthepsychicatmosphereofsomeEasterncountriesthatthoughtsandespecially innermoods, are communicatedmoreeasily there than inotherpartsofourglobe.I see that my neighbours close their eyes for meditation. I do the same,

althoughIhavenoticedoflate,thatwhentheconcentrationisthoroughandtheattentionturnedcompletelywithin,evenopeneyesseenothing.After some time a kind of urge fromwithout informsme that it is time to

finishthemeditation.Iopenmyeyesandseeothersdoingthesame.‘It is time for dinner’, says our kindly host. The dining-table is set in

Europeanfashionforfourpersons,butonlythesonofMr.R.keepsuscompany,hiswife,accordingtoHinducustom,isservingus.Afterdinnermyhost,havingshownmemybedroom,advisedmetoputmycothalfoutontheverandah,sothatmyheadwouldbeoutsidetofeelalittlebreezeduringthehotnight.Next day before evening, accompanied by the son ofMr.R., I reachedmy

steamerand,afterhavingtakenleaveofmykindhost,IleftthesoilofCeylon.Thesteamermovedslowlyoutoftheharbour.IclimbedthehighestdecktolookoncemoreonColombowithitsinnumerablefadinglights.AbigshipwithBritishmigrantswaspassingours.Isawdancingpairsunder

thewaterproofroofoftheupperdeckandheardthenoisymusicofjazz.Andalongphosphorescentwakewasvisibleonthewaterbehindoursteamer.

CHAPTERXLV

OntheOcean

Theweatherwasmarvellousduringthewholeofthejourney.Windydayswhenthe steamer was tossed about were very few. Clear blue sunny sky was ourportionallthetime.InafewdaysweshouldbecrossingtheEquator,hencethepositionoftheSunischanging;itisnearingNorthaboutnoon,thenitseemstostayintheverymiddleoftheskyverticallyoverourheads.Thefurtherwego,themoreourconceptionof’theSouth’changestogeographical‘North’.Thereisonlyoneclassonthesteamer,soitscornersandnooksareaccessible

to all the passengers. Comfortable and spacious halls for reading and writingtemptme towritea fewmorepages inmyDiary,although the real journey toIndiaendedaweekago.Whenwillcomemynext?Themonotonousdaysof this return journeyare filledwithmeditation. Isee

thesameworld, thesamepeopleroundme,with theirworriesandhopes,withtheirgoodandbadqualities.Andyet,no, it isnot true, theworldhaschangedtremendouslyifcomparedwiththatofmypreviousyears.Insteadofanalienandseldomfriendlyentity,apictureofthewholeisnowseen,butasifitwereonasomewhat dimmed and hazy film which is unrolled before my eyes by aninvisibleyetquiterealpower.Inthisfilmmyownpersonplaysthesameroleasmillions of other so-called ‘human beings’. In days of old I was continuallyidentifyingmyselfwithmy‘ego’andcouldnotthinkaboutitotherwisethanasthesubject,butnowIhavelearnedthatthereareotherstatesofconsciousnessinwhichoneisfreefromsuchalimitedandconditionedmaterialexistence.Ihavelearned that there is such a thing as true freedomwhich is real happiness too.Thespectreofdeathhasnopoweroverit.Whatisthetruebasisofthisnewstateofconsciousness?Ithinkthatthekeytoallthesehigherstatesisthecapacitytolookobjectivelyuponourpersonalitiesandbeabletosay:‘IknowwhereistheSelfandwherethenon-Self’.Practice ineveryday lifeconsistsofagrowingawareness that formsarenot

real and only thatwhich has no form has reality.But reasoning cannot createsuchaconception—onthecontrary—thestoppageofreasoningcandoso,andthis is farmoredifficult than anykindof intellectual exertion. It seems tomethatthereisalawaccordingtowhich,onceweleavetherealmofthoughtandstopthefunctioningofbrain-mind,thenewstateofconsciousnessindependentof thought must necessarily dawn. To many people this very possibility mayseem absurd, for they instinctively cling to the unfortunate—or perhaps onlywronglyexpressed—wordsofDescartes:‘Cogito,ergosum’,‘Ithink,thereforeI

am’.Butthereiscertainlyapowerinuswhichisabletocontrolthemind-brainand

guide it just as one guides the movements of the fingers of one’s hand. Thesecretundoubtedlyliesinthiscapacityof‘stopping’.Inthebeginningitisahardtask, it requireseffortandstruggle,butsoonitbecomesasourceofhappiness.Can it be acquired without the assistance of a Master, of a being who hasachieved these results and now is a source of real peace radiating in alldirections?Idonotknow,Iamnotsure.ThegreatmajorityofHindusbelievethatitisnotpossible.I know that no problem should now worry me. The very existence of

problems,saysMaharshi,provesourspiritualignorance.Itisquitetrue,fortheveryputtingofaproblemmeansanattempttobringdownrealitytothementallevel, and this is equal to the effort of attempting to drawwaterwith a sieve.Even an ordinary vessel cannot hold a subtle ethereal substance. Alas, theunderstandingofall thiscomesonlywhenwehavebeenable to transcend thelimitationsofthemind-brain;beforethisisachievedit isonlytherepetitionofemptywords.

*I amsittingalone ina cornerof the saloon.The sun is setting, itsgreat red

discisplungingintotheocean,halfofithasalreadydisappearedinthesilverywaterat thehorizon.There ispeace inNatureandpeace inme.Peace isbliss.For anymovement proves the necessity of change, andwhere there is changethereisnoperfection,forperfectiondoesnotneedanychange.Iknowthatthispeaceinmeisneitherfinalnorpermanent,itmaybeonlya

reflection, but the very existence of a reflection proves that the archetype isthere.AndinthiscertaintyliesapowerwhichwillleadustothegoalandmakeItattainable.Like sufferings and pleasures which, belonging to the past thereby lose all

realityandsimplydonotexistanymore,soeverystatewhichisnotperfectmustvanish.Thepastandfutureexistonlyintheimagination.Createdbyourmind,whichisonlytheprocessofthinking,theymustperishwithitscreator.Thatiswhythestoppingofthestreamofthoughtsgivesusthefirstglimpseandtouchofunchangeablereality.

*Ihavemadepeacewiththeworld.Letpeacebealsoitslot.Whengoodand

evilcease,unchangingpeacewillcome.Whenthechangingvibrationshavenoplace in our consciousness,we shall return to peacewhich is all. Peace existsalwaysandeverywhere,buttheunspiritualizedconsciousnessofhumanbeings,whointheirignorancebelieveintheirseparateexistences,donotseethispeace.

Ihavehadtheprivilegeofseeingwhatahumanbeingwhoattainsthispeaceislike.Ihaveseeneyeswhichtoldmewithoutwordsaboutthispeace.IknowthatI

shall never forget—it is absolutely impossible—what the light in Maharshi’seyes conveyed.And in spiteof the fact that thephysicaldistancebetweenmeandtheplacewheretheyarestillshiningisgrowingeveryminute;inspiteofthecircumstance that soon those eyeswill close to thevisibleworld, their speechwillliveintheheartsofallthosewhohaveonceseenandacceptedtheirlight.ThehighestpowerthatshinesthroughItschosenoneswillneverbeexhausted.Let this power be blessed in our hearts. Were It to manifest in all Itsinexpressiblemightitwouldblindusandburnustoashesinourfrailty.YetItlooksatuswithloveandkindnessthroughtheeyesofThosewho,throughTheirincredible effort have merged Their consciousness in It, achieving union forever.

CHAPTERXLVI

TheLightisShining

Maharshi has left thisworld.But thosewho have understood hismission, hismessage and his teachings have not remained orphans. He still lives in theirheartsandhisinfluencewillincreaseastheyadvancetowardstruth.Theydonotmourn the departure of the belovedMaster andFriend.The same light is stillshiningonhispupilsscatteredallovertheworld,foritisalsotheverycoreoftheirownbeing.Whenmanyyearsagooneofhispupilssaidthathewantedtoremaininthe

Ashram at any cost, to be always in the physical vicinity of ‘Bhagavan’,Maharshianswered:‘TheSpiritualBeingdwellinginyouis theRealBhagavan, that iswhatyou

havetorealize’.Cantherebeanyloftierspiritualconception?IndiscoveringourownrealSelf

we discover our belovedmaster at the same time.And there is no otherway.ThisSelfisAll,andnothingexistsbeyondandapartfromIt.SothereisnousesearchingforanythingelsebuttheSelf,allelseisillusion.

*Inaquietpeacefulcornerof Indianear the last resting-placeof theSageof

Arunachala, the remaining disciples and devotees of theMaster are gatheringeveryday.Theysingthesamehymnswhichweresunginthetemplehallduringhislifetime.SilencereignsinitspurityallroundandintheheartsofthosewhowereprivilegedtohavewitnessedMaharshi’smission.MyIndianfriendsintheirletters call the present state of Maharshi ‘Mahasa-madhi’, which can betranslated as ‘the great union or ‘the great and final contemplation’ whichexpressesatleastinpartthebeautifulSanscritterm.Inspiteofthefactthatadenseandheavydarknessstillenvelopsmankind in

this critical stage of its evolution, it is an undeniable fact that real spiritualbeautyandgreatnessirresistiblyattractmanyofus,andthisisthebestproofofthe future possibilities hidden in all human beings. It was always so. It willalwaysbeso.The Great Teachers who came down here to shed light on the path of

humanityhavealwayshadroundThemagrouptobeafertilesoilintowhichtheblessedseedsoftruewisdomcouldfall,nottobedriedup,buttogerminate.Thephenomenon ofMaharshi is one more proof that the ways of providence areadaptedtothestagesofevolutionreachedbymankindineveryera.Now,whenthemindsofthedwellersonourplanethavebecomesomewhatmoredeveloped

ascomparedwiththoseofpastages,at leastsofaras themassofhumanityisconcerned—Idonotspeakofspecialindividuals-—spiritualteachinghadtobegiveninanadequateform.Whenmany religions and sectswere quarrellingwith each other, therewas

needforapresentationoftruthwhichwouldtranscendalltheenclosingwallsofparticularfaiths.ThiswasgivenbyMaharshi.HisteachingscanbeacceptedbyanymansincerelyseekingGodandtruthindependentlyofthereligioninwhichhe has been reared.There ismoreover the fact that in the light ofMaharshi’steachings, the truthscontainedin thesacredscripturesofeveryreligioncanbeeasilyunderstoodandtheirseemingcontradictionsceasetoexistforseekersoftruth.Self-knowledge, according to the experimentalmethods of theGreat Indian

Rishi leadsustoareligioussynthesis.Weseethat theBuddha, theChrist,andminor,or rather lessknown,Messengersall speakabout thesamereality,onlytheoutwardwayofpresentingItmayvaryinaccordancewiththeneedsoftheepoch and the possibilities of human understanding. All fanaticism andintolerance which are such great obstacles in our search for God are thendropped.It is from these two plagues that political and social fanaticisms and

despotismsarebornandtheirdevastatingeffectsareseeninourowntimes.Maharshi touches the true cause of all the crimes andmisfortunes afflicting

humanity.Hesaysclearly:‘All sins andwickedness are born from the false human notion that causes

people to identify themselves with their bodies. There is no sin in which themotiveofselfishnessandthisidentificationwiththebodycannotbediscovered’.It is obvious that all evil canbe traced to this cause.Similarly theopposite

assertion:‘Iamnotthisbody,IamtheEternalSpiritdwellingtemporarilyinthisvehicle

offlesh’,radicallyuprootsallevilmotives.That is the essence ofMaharshi’sMessage, the essence of the teachings of

OneofthelastGreatRishisofIndia,sofarasIwasabletounderstandit.

CHAPTERXLVII

Samadhi

AfterthisdiarycoveringmystayinIndiawasfinishedunderits-presenttitleInDaysofGreatPeace,somefriendswhoreadthemanuscriptraisedthequestionofSamadhi.Theyasked:‘What is thisstate?Howcanonereachit?What is itlike? How long can it last? What may be regarded as its forerunner? Whathappens to our physical-mental consciousnesswhenwe are in it?’ and so on.TheyalsoaskedmetoexplainwhatpathcanleadustoSamadhi,orsimplywhathavewetodotoexperiencethisstate.I can only answer that the safest way is to study the teachings of those in

whomSamadhi is the normal state of consciousness. There are such saints ineveryreligion, therearesuchGreatRishis in India.Only thosewhoknowthisstate inall its fullnesscan talkabout itwithcompetenceandwithoutpersonalcolouring.TherearetwostatesofSamadhi:oneisthetemporarySamadhi—itmeansa

spiritualecstasyappearingspontaneously, sporadically,orevenasa resultofadeliberateeffort,butlastingonlyforabrieftime,afterwhichonereturnstothe‘normal’stateofconsciousnesswhichbearsonlysometracesoftheexperiencedecstasy,somereflectionofit,asitwere,justlikesunbeamsreflectedinajarofwater.Thiskindisexperiencedinmanyofitsvariousformsbysaints,yogis,andpupilsofdifferentspiritualschools.OfcourseallIcansayaboutSamadhiwillconcernonlyits‘temporaryform’.

ButthismayleadtothelastingandabsoluteSamadhi,whichisreachedonlybyMen made perfect, who appear like meteors on the spiritual firmament ofhumanity. Yet as we know nothing about this supreme state—called by SriRamanaMaharshi‘naturalstate’or‘SahajaSamadhi’—wearequiteunable todiscuss it. Itwouldbeasuselessas to try to solveanequationwith toomanyunknowns.One of the characteristics of this natural state’ is its continuity, its

uninterruptedness.Maharshiachieveditinthesecondhalfofhislife.Whenwereadhisbiography—Self-Realization’byNara-simhaSwamiandsimilarworks—wenote that before 1930 he often spoke about himself: ‘Then Iwas not inSamadhi’, but after that year he speaks of it as a normal, permanent, naturalstate’, without interruptions, without any place for the physical-mentalconsciousness.When this state is reached itmakes no differencewhether onespeaksorissilent,whetheronemovesorsleeps,orperformsanyvisibleaction,asconsciousnessneverdescendstothelevelwhichiscalled‘normal’byus.

IpurposelydonotusetheIndianYogicterminology,foritwouldonlymakethecomprehensionofthesubjectmoredifficultforthosewhoareunacquaintedwithit,andIndianswillunderstandevenwithouttheclassicalterms.ThestateoftemporarySamadhi—theonlyoneaboutwhichwecanspeak—

necessitates,while it lasts, a certain limitationof thephysical functions.Somehave to sit in complete immobility so that the physical body is in a kind oftorpor;thebreathingsometimesalmoststops,orspontaneouslyfollowsaspecialrhythm. I am not speaking here about thosewho practicemeditationwith thepurposeofreachingSamadhi,anddeliberatelyadoptcertainbreathingexercisestoachieve thispurpose;but thesepracticesarenot recommendedby theGreatRishis.Otherpeopleplungeintoadeepmeditationorrapture,andforthetimebeingloseallsenseofphysicalconsciousness,orelseseealltheouterworldasthroughamistorinadream.Manydeliberatelyseekthesamesurroundingsinwhichtheywereonceable

to experience such an ecstasy, thereby hoping to reach the same state again.OthersprayforitorasktheassistanceoftheirMaster.Butitistheachievementwhich matters and not the circumstances and surroundings in which it takesplace.It was asked: ‘How can we know that we have really reached the state of

Samadhiorspiritualecstasy?’Normallyweknowbyourownexperience—commontoallhumanbeings—

onlytwostatesofconsciousness:thewakingandthesleepingordreamingstate.Letusanalyzethembriefly,sothatafterwards,wemaybeabletoapproachthethirdoneintelligently.It isanundeniablefact that insleepourexperiencesaresomewhatlike,andatthesametimeverydifferentfrom,the.wakingstate.Sleepalsodifferswithdifferentpeople.Withsomeit isveryvague,uncertain,misty.Others speak of having in it clear, definite and ‘real’ experiences. It probablydependsonthebrainandnervoussystemanduponthegeneraldevelopmentofthe individual. Butwhenwewake up,we generally regard our dreams of thenightasunreal,andwearenotinclinedduringourwakingstatetoendowthemwithanyspecialmeaning. If suchdreamsareunpleasant,wesay: ‘At last it isover. Fortunately it was only a dream’. It means that the immediately higherstateexcludesthelowerandmakesitquiteunimportantandinsignificantinoureyes.Ifwhilereadingtheselines,weclearlygraspthisfact,itwillbeeasierforustoacquireamentalunderstandingofthestateofSamadhi.Itsrelationtothewakingstateisjustthesameasthewakingistothesleeping

one.Ifwegraspthisidea,manychaptersofthisbookwillbecomeclearer,andwe

shallunderstandtheteachingsofMaharshimoreeasily.

Would you, in your waking state,meditate onwhat you have seen in yourdream? For instance, if you were ‘killed’ in your dream, could it have anyinfluenceonyourdailylife?Orifyoudreamoftakingameal,canitsatisfyyourhungerinyourwakingstate?Canyouimagineit?Wesimplydenyallrealitytodreamswhenweareinour‘normal’wakingstate.Andweareright.Letustakeastepfurther.Fromthenexthigherstate,calledSamadhi,justinthesamewayourearthlywakingstateisseenlikeadream.Andthisisthecriterionwemustfindwhenweask:‘Howcanweknowthatwehavereachedthetranscendentalstate?’ItseemsthatSamadhihasthreephases:TheFirst—whenwefeelitisapproaching.Inthisstatewecanstillmoveand

talkasusual.Wecancompareittoearlytwilightbeforesunrise.

PLATEVIEntrancetothelastabodeofSriMaharshi,hisMaha-Nirvanaroom

PLATEVIITheMastersMaha-Samadhi

TheSecondcanbecomparedtothemiddaywhenthesunstandshighinthesky.Thenthementalandphysical functionsdecline, theybecomedreamy,andrealityalone,independentofallformandcondition,dawnsuponandilluminesourbeing.We thenknowWhoweare,we donot identify ourselves anymorewithourpersonalities,weareaboveandbeyondthem.Webreathefreedom,blissandwisdom.TheThird—whichcomesimmediatelyafterour‘comingback’fromSamadhi,

islikethesecondtwilight,thistimepreceding‘sunset’.Westillfeelinourselvesits last rays,we still clearly remember the light, but its vivid reality graduallyfades awaywhenwe return to our ‘normal’ consciousness, the ‘waking’ state.ButtheremembranceofSamadhiisnevercompletelylost.Wearestillunabletostayinitpermanently,duetoourimperfectspiritualdevelopment,buthenceforthweknowirrefutablythatthisstateexists,thatitisintruth,theonlyreality.AfterexperiencingSamadhievenoncewearedifferentbeings.It is interesting to note that this state has its own range of vibrations,

extremelysubtleandpowerful.Theyinfluenceoursurroundings;wecaneasilyobserve their effect on peoplewhenwe experience, however imperfectly, thisstate ourselves.When, being at thevery thresholdof theSamadhi sunrise,we

talktoothers,orwhenwejustemergefromtheSamadhisunset,wecannoticethat people are behaving—probablyunconsciously—somewhat differently, andaddressing us in another tone than usual, although fromwithout they can seenothingsaveour‘normal’ordinarypersons.ButeachonehashisownSamadhideep in his heart in a latent state, which one daywill reveal itself. Thus this‘dormant’germoftheSpiritrespondstothevibrationsofthespiritawakened.Wemaynowunderstandwhatatremendoushelpitisforeveryonetobeinthe

presenceofaMasterwhohasachievedthefullnessofSamadhi,withwhomthisstateisnormalandcontinuous.Thisspiritual‘magnetism’isthemostpowerfulelementwhichawakensthepupilfromtheslumberingofmatterintothelightofthe real. Ifyougrasp thispointyoumaybetterunderstand -theexperiencesofthosewhohavebeeninMaharshi’spresence.I do not exactly know bywhat law thewords of theMaster,when read or

meditatedupon,arealsomosthelpfulintheawakeningofourSpirit.Theplaceswhere he dwelt, conversationswith thosewhoknewhim andwere his pupils,also assists us in the opening and broadening of our consciousness and theenlargementofitshorizons.Iamstatingthisasafact,althoughIamunabletoexplainitsbasisorthewhysandwhereforesofitsworking.Some people have experienced Samadhi under the influence of a deep

emotionor rapture.Thewell-knownSaintof India,SriRamakrishnaoften fellintothetranceofSamadhiundertheinfluenceofanouterimpulse.OnceintheZoologicalGardensofCalcuttahewentintoSamadhiatthesightofalion;andafterwardsexplainedthathesawinthiskinglyanimalthereflectionofthepoweroftheMostHigh,andoneinstantofthiscontemplationwasenoughtocarryhimoutofthenormalconsciousnessintothehigherstateofSamadhi.The contemplationofmightymountainsor thevast expanseof the sea, and

other forms of the beauty and power of Nature, also help us considerably toleaveour‘physicalsleep’forthehigherstate.CananyonewhohasreadthelifeofSaintFrancisofAssisiandofotherSaintsofacontemplativeanddevotionaltemperament,failtonoticethesamephenomenoninSriRamakrishna’slife?Butdowereallyneedmanyexamplesfromdifferentbiographies?Arewenot

awarethatsomeloftythoughtsandsublimeinnerflightscanbeawakenedinourown heartswhenwe sit quietly on the seashore looking at the splendour of asunset,orwhenwecontemplateavastpanoramafromahighhill?Wemayraisethisfeelingtoamuchhigherpotencyinour imagination,addto it ‘stillnessofthe mind’ and purity of the heart, and— we may not be far from theunderstandingofourgoal.Throughmusic,songs,mantras,incantations,onecanalsoobtainthesameresults;thatiswhytheywereintroducedinallthereligionsoftheworld.

Samadhi is a state of absolute Bliss. One can say that tiny elements ofSamadhiarepresentineverypureandintenseblissthatweexperienceeveninour ordinary daily lives; however small these ‘drops of nectar’ may be, theiressenceisthesameastheecstasyofSamadhi.Wherever,underanyimpulse,wecan escape from our narrow personality and forget ‘the dream of our wakingstate’thegermofSamadhiispresent.But no one can reach this lofty state through curiosity or the so-called

‘passionforknowledge’.Noamountofeffortcanhelpyouinthisrespectifsuchbe your motive. Vain attempt! Samadhi cannot be encased in the narrowboundaries of the mind, for its very characteristic is the transcendence of allmental levels.Donotdeceiveyourselfby saying thatyouwould like to studythisstate‘scientifically’,forthiswouldbesimilartotryingtotakewaterwithasieve.It is yourmotive, the purpose youwant to achieve, that alone is the factor

decidingsuccess.Onlyintuitioncanguideyou.Onlywhenyouareripeforthewholehearted desire to exchange all that is transitory in yourself for thepermanentandeternal,whentheEternalbecomesmoreimportantforyouthanalltheseeming‘reality’of thevisibleworld,willyoubecapableandreadyforthegreateffort,andthenonlywillthenecessaryassistancebegiventoyou.SomeadeptsofspiritualsciencesaythatSamadhiisstrongerthandeath,that

onecannotdieinthisstate,forallphysicallifeistheninakindofsuspension.Thatis,accordingtothem,thebasisofthebeliefthatsomeyogiswhopracticecertain forms ol Samadhi can live hundreds—sometimes thousands—of years.Or the other hand, cases are known of yogiswho have left thisworld by notreturningtotheirnormalconsciousnessfromthestateofSamadhi.

*Wecanfindmuchlightonthesubjectofhigherstatesofconsciousnessinthe

followingbooks:VarietiesofReligiousExperiencesaclassicbyProf.W.James,ASearchinSecretIndiaandotherworksbyPaulBrunton,andtheincomparableMahaYogaby‘Who’,publishedbyRamanasramamatTiruvannamalai;itistheworkofoneofthemostadvancedpupilsofMaharshiandcontainshisteachingsinextenso.Thepathisalwaysopen.Itdependsonlyonyouwhetheryouwilldirectyour

stepstowardsitornot.Butrememberalwaysthatthosewhoaretreadingitwillcertainlywelcomeyouwithjoy.SomepeoplethinkthatthephysicaldeathoftheMastermakesthepathfornovicesimpossible.Nothingisfurtherfromthetruth.Wecannotdiscussthishere.IcanonlyadviseyoutoreadtheveryvaluablebookRamana Maharshi and the Path of Self-Knowledge (Rider & Co.) by ArthurOsborne,whospentsometimeintheimmediatepresenceofMaharshi.

CHAPTERXLVIII

TheLastMessage

Nowyouhavenearlyfinishedthisbook.Some,yawning,willputitontheshelf;somewillmeditateoverit,willthinkoftheunknowndiscipleandhisMaster.Anancientocculttraditionsaysthateverythingaboutspiritualmattersisbestreadatleastseventimes.Andonlyattheseventhreadingwillthestudententerintotherealmrevealed.IhavereadthelittlebookTheVoiceofthe.SilencebyH.P.Blavatskyatleast

seven times seven, and with each reading more light poured from its pages.SimilarlywithViveka-ChudamanibySriSankaracharya.Themethodisprovedsound andpractical. If youwill give thenecessary time andperseverance, thesilencethroughVicharawillstopyourrestlessmind,andtherealwillmanifestitself.Donot try tohasten theprocess.Perhaps thisbookwaswrittenforyou,notfortheouter‘jou’buttherealyou.ForyouandIareone.Oftenquestionsarisewhichmaybeanticipated.Letusanswersomeofthem.IsthePathshownbyoneofthelastGreatRishisappropriateforyou?Ifwhen

readingorlisteningtotheteachingsandlivesofspiritualgeniuseswhomwecallsaintsandsages,yourheartmeltsandyoufeelthattheinvisiblespiritualcurrentdrawsyouin,thenknowthatitmaybeacallforyou.Letusnotextinguishthosedelicatemovementsofthespiritualflamewhichishiddendeepbelowthelayersofourpersonality.Wheninsuchmomentseverythinginyoumeltsintoamightydesire to step afterHim, after this still unknown, but already belovedMaster,theninfactHeiscallingyou.ItistheonlywayHecancall—fromwithinyourbeing,notfromwithout.Ifyousee,asinthebrightnessofalightningflashthewhole unreality of the visible world, including your temporary, limited form,calledtillnowyou,thenprepareyourselffortheGreatPilgrimage.Forgetthenthepastandthefuture,thepettyaimsofyourtransientphysicalexistence;onlytheeternal,unchanging,gloriouspresenthashenceforthtoconcernyou.EverythingapartfromItisyourfalseself—yourvampire-likeego,yourMaya

—therealmof theunreal. Ifan irresistibledesire toenteronthepathdoesnotariseinyou,ifyoucannotrealizewhatthispathisreallyabout,thenitisclearthetimeisnotyetripeforyou.Theordinarywaysoflifearemoreappropriate.Tobehonest,goodandfullofsympathyisanecessarysteptowardstheDirectPathwhichwillrevealitselfinduecourse.Idonotwishtoconcealdifficultieswhichwillsurelybeencounteredonthe

path. Therefore you should know that to create evil by thoughts, deeds orfeelingswhenonceonthepathwillleadtodangerandcatastrophe.Sosaidthe

LordBuddha:‘Ceasedoingevil;learntodogood;purifyyourownheart’.Thosearethequalitieswhichdevelopinthedisciplewhenhereallyengages

intheVichara.TheVicharaitselfcreatesthesevirtues.Thatislogical.Whenyouceasetorecogniseyourego,wherewillbethemotivefordoingevil?Whentheegodisappears,allevilgoeswithit.The fulfilment of the above three commandments produces a saint. And

saintshipisthefirstrealsteptoliberationorself-realization.Donotdoubtthatstatement. There aremore Saints about at the present time thanmany peoplesuppose.And theydonotallwearmonk’s robesandhaveshavenheads.Theymay look like averagemen. A saint can only be recognized if he chooses torevealhimself.Andhiswaysoflifeapparentlydonotdiffermuchfromthoseofothers.Onlyanintimatecontactwithhimwillrevealhissaintship.AwiseYogioncesaid:‘Ifaflowerhashoneythebeewillfindit.Itisnottheflowerwhichseeksthe

bee’.SoitwillbewithyourentryonthepathandintodiscipleshipofaMaster.As

thebeefindstheflower,soyouwillfindHim.SriRamanaMaharshisaidtohisintimatedisciples:‘There isnoalternativeforyoubut toaccept theworldasunreal, ifyouare

seekingTruthandTruthalone.Forthesimplereason,thatunlessyougiveuptheidea that theworld is real, yourmindwill always be after it. If you take theappearancetobereal,youwillneverknowtheRealItself,althoughitistheRealalonethatexists’.Thissayingisofgreatimportancetotheseeker.Howdoesadisciplerealize

that condition? It comes gradually, but irresistibly, as you Vichara proceeds.Practically,youfeelas ifyouwereseparatedfromyourvisible,physical form.Walking,speakingandperformingdifferentactivitiesyoubegintofeelthatyouarebeyondandabovetheactingform.Itisawonderfulfeelingoffreedomandbliss.Nodoubts or fears exist.Thesemoments are rare in the beginning, it istrue,but in thecourseofprogress theycomemoreandmorefrequently.ThesearethefirstraysofthelightofyourtrueSelf,whichishappinessitself.Yearsago,whenmeditatingaboutmyMaster,IconceivedHimtobealordof

bliss.AndwhenIsawhim,Igavemyselftohimforever.Fromthattimeontheworldhadnomoreappeal.Ilostmylittleselfreflectedintheconventionallife.Scripturessay:‘NakedmanmuststandbeforetheMostHigh’.Everywherewefindguidepostsonthepath.Bygivingupeverythingwefind

all.Theparadoxisrealized,themysticalTruthisproved.Ifweareunhappyitisourownerror.Thereforedonotbelievethatthereare

circumstancesorconditionswhichareresponsibleforthedarknesswithinus.Itistheego-mindwhichbegetsthislie.Fornolimitationsconcerntherealyou.It isdifficult at first to realizeour separateness from thevisible form in the

stateofsleep.Forinnumerableagesofexistenceinseparateformsweacquiredthe habit of merging our consciousness in darkness when asleep. But as theVicharaproceedsitwillenlighteneventhisbastionofdarknessinduecourse.Whenyoudiveintothesea,youtakeoffyourclothesbeforehand.Whenyou

diveintotheSelf inSamadhiyoumustputasideyourouterself.Thethoughtsand emotions must be discarded, at least temporarily, before Samadhi can beexperienced. Many books could be written about these experiences, but theywould be of little use without the practice of Vichara. And then everythingcomesofitsownaccord.AsMaharshisays:‘KnowingtheSelfbymeansoftheVicharayouwillfindyourMasterwithin

yourself.’NowitmaybeclearwhydisciplesoftheMasterarealwaysconsciousofHis

presence.Everydevotedseekerwillfindhiminhisownheart,thoughhehasnotseenhiminhisphysicalform.Andthisinvisiblepresenceisaspotentaswashisphysicalone.Nevertheless there is a strange power and inspiration in the pictures of

Maharshi.Wereitnotsohewouldneverhavepermittedthemtobemade.MaythegraceoftheGreatBeingtowhomthisbookisdedicated,enlighten

yourendeavours.

CHAPTERXLIX

Epilogue

ThesadnewsofSriRamanaMaharshi’sdeparturefromthephysicalbodysoonreachedmeandhisotherdevoteesscatteredthroughouttheworld.Idonotwishto praise, or compare with other Masters, the Great Being at whose feet theAlmighty allowed me to abide. For how could we, from our lower level ofconsciousness exactly describe the being whose mission was to give ussomethingofhis infinite light?Adequately toassesshisgreatness,onemustatleastbeonthesamelevelofspiritualglory.AllthatIcando,istotrytoconveywhatIfoundinmyownheartwhenIreceivedthenews.ThelightfromthoseluminouseyesofSriMaharshiwasforeverengravedon

mymemorybeforeleavingtheAshram.Andnow—theaccountofhisdeathliesbeforeme.Doesitmeanthatthoseeyescannotradiatetheirsilentinitiationanymore?Thatwouldberidiculous.Iknowthislightisnotamaterialone,thoughitwasconveyedthroughamaterialbody.Thisisamysterybutnotaparadox.InmyheartIfoundnourgetodiscoverthatmysterythroughthemind.Ifelt thatthefactwasso,even though inexplicable to the thinkingprocess.Sohisdeathdidnotdeprivemeofhisreality.Iwasquietlysittingasifinpreparationformeditation.Butthistimetheusual

processchanged.PerhapsHesawthatthehumanheart,notyetfreefromallitsweaknesses,sometimesneedssomeconsolation.Andthen,insteadofavoid,thewell-knownandbelovedpicturearosebeforeme.Thereweremostmysteriousand inspiringeveningsat theAshramwhen the

beautifulhymn‘InPraiseoftheLordoftheUniverse’wassunginthehall.SriMaharshievidentlylovedthehymn,fortherewouldappearapeculiarexpressionofother thanhumanbeatitudeanddelightonHis face. I felt that theheartsofthosewhowerepresentinthatblissfulhouroftheeveningcontemplationweredeeplytunedtoit.PerhapsHispenetratinginnersightsawthebeneficialprocessinus,andHissilentblessingwastheanswer.Howcanwefathomtheunfathomable?Andnow,asifstillinthetemplehall

withall thoseothers, Ionceagain listened to thesamebeautifulmelodyheardbefore with my outer ears. It was as if I reviewed a film. And there was nosadnessanymore.Itcouldnotbeotherwise!ThetruelegacyoftheMastercouldnever be less than joy, this sublime and silent joy of being, untroubled by thewavesofthesurroundingillusoryworldorMaya.ThiswasHispeacewhichHebequeathedtous.Later on letters came from devotees in other countries. My distant friends

eachgavetheirownaccountsofhowthetragicnewsaffectedthem.Theytriedtheirbesttoconsolethemselvesandme,bysayingthatthephysicaldepartureoftheMastercouldnotbreakour spiritual linkwithHim.Andyet the ink in thelastparagraphsofsuchletterswasoftenblurredasifwithtears.Itissaidthatlovewastheforcewhichcreatedtheuniverse.Perhapsitis.But

to me the force of such unselfish and radiant love as His, is just that powerwhichpurifiesourhearts,whenallothermethodsproveuseless.Neither occult training nor any othermethod, can give the disciple the true

peacewhichtheMastergives.SriMaharshiwas a centre of love to his disciples.He left us his love, and

whereelseintheworldcouldbefoundapurifyingpowersuchasthis,tobringpeacetoourhearts?The anniversaries of theMahasamadhi of SriMaharshiwill comeone after

another.Andsomeyearwillseethelastoneformeonthisearth.ButatthelastmomentHewillbewithme,aswitheveryoneofyouwhoknew

Him, andyouwhoyearn to knowHim, if youkeep to the end,His legacyoflove.

*Thosewho feel an intuitive attraction to theDirectPathof theGreat Risihi

Ramana,asexperiencedby thewriteranddescribed—-toacertainextent—inthis book, may be interested in the following steps which came later for theauthor.Now,whenIamlookingbackfromtheperspectiveofafewyears,Iseethat

theprocesswhichbeganinBhagavan’sAshramisuninterruptedlygoingahead,changingthewholeinnerstructureofaman.Manyouterthings,suchasworldlyconditionsandkarmicties,whichbefore

wereconsideredasobstacles,arenowbecomingasunrealasapassingmist.Theinner experiences are now taking a more steady and controllable shape, andlosingtheirformerunpredictableandrathersporadiccharacter;becausetheyarenow directed by an irresistibleWill,whichmysteriously is—at the same time—bothinsideandoutsideofman.The thinking process as itwas in past years has disappeared and cannot be

foundagain.Instead,initsplacehascometheawarenessoftheperpetualcosmiccurrentofmind;but it isflowingapart frommyconsciousness,exceptwhenIamselectingwhatIneedfromit.Thismeans,thattheformerlyinvinciblecompulsionofconstantthinkinghas

gone for ever, and in its place is a newly-born and quite natural tendency toremaininthesilentshrineoftheheartorself,wherenothoughtoremotiondaretoenter.ThereisnoeffortneededanymoreastrulypredictedbytheMasterin

Histeachings,andnoexercisehastobeperformedasinthepast.Basically, the inner experiences described throughout this book are by no

means deprived of their sense. They have lost only their spontaneous nature,havingdeepenedandbecomewellentrenchedinthesamevisibleoutershell—thebody.There is no purpose in delving into them here; for they would be quite

incomprehensibletoanyonewhohasnotyetlivedwhathasbeendescribed.Theprocessof ripening is rather anautomaticone; all ‘plannings’andcalculationsforthe‘future’,togetherwithallhopes,fearsandgriefsbelongtothedeadpast.Sri Maharshi says: ‘He that has earned the grace of the Guru shall

undoubtedlybesavedandneverforsaken,justasthepreythathasfallenintothetiger’s jawswill neverbe allowed to escape’. Inotherwords,once thepath isfounditcannotbelostanymore,nomatterhowmanylivesstillliebeforeus.Themoremy physical shellwears out in the course of the quickly passing

yearsandheadsforitsnaturalend,thefirmertheinnerreality(soinexpressibleinwords) takes command ofmy being, as a kind of unbroken consciousness,extendingfurtheranddeeper.AversefromSt.Johncomestomind:‘Thatwhich isbornof flesh is flesh; and thatwhich isbornof theSpirit is

Spirit’.Imagination,visions,andotherproductsofthemind’sactivitydonotexiston

theDirectPath.Realityexcludesallillusions.Instead,onlywhatcouldbecalledthe illimitable bliss, the fulfilment of our deepest and most pure hopes andspiritualstrivings,canfollowusonthatpath.It ismyfirmconviction, that inthisworldat thepresent time, therearestill

many who would be able to enter on this sublime path, the unique directhighwaytotheabsolute.Anditisforthem,andthemalone,thatthisbookhasbeenwritten.Iamstretchingoutmyhandtothem.Willtheyacceptit?

CHAPTERL

Appendix—MatterforMeditation

Inordertotrainourmindsproperlytoapproachspiritualaxioms,meditationisnecessary. The immortal treatise Viveka-Chudamani (The Crest Jewel ofWisdom)bySriSankaracharyaisafruitfulsource.It is incomparableevidenceoftheheightstowhichthehumanspiritcansoar,andisusefulasasubjectformeditation.Frommeditation on these verses—not only reading them— there arises an

appropriateattitudeofmind.Thisattitude isequivalent to thepurificationandmakingsensitiveofouras

yetimperfectorganofcognitionofspirit.The conceptions embedded in the teachings of Sri Sankaracharya are not

contrary to mental logic, but they are the ultimate extension of it in theunconditionedtruthinourselves.TheversesgivenherearefromthetranslationbyMohiniM.Chatterji.Forallthosenotyetacquaintedwiththeage-oldconceptionsofVedanta,these

fewextractsmayserveasanecessarypreparation.At least theyhelp towardsanunderstandingofhowahumanbeing,seeking

spiritualLighthereandnow,mayproceed.1.Iprostratemyselfbeforethetrueteacher—beforehimwhoisrevealedby

theconclusionsofallsystemsofVedanticphilosophy,butishimselfunknown,Govindathesupremebliss.4.Onewho,havingwithdifficultyacquiredahumanincarnationandinthat

manhoodaknowledgeof the scriptures, throughdelusionsdoesnot labour foremancipation,isasuicidedestroyinghimselfintryingtoattainillusiveobjects.6. Hemay study the scriptures, propitiate the gods (by sacrifices), perform

religious ceremonies or offer devotion to the gods, yet he will not attainsalvationevenduringthesuccessionofahundredBrahma-yugasexceptbytheknowledgeofunionwiththespirit.8. Therefore the wise man strives for his salvation, having renounced his

desire for theenjoymentofexternalobjects, andbetakeshimself toa trueandgreatteacherandacceptshisteachingwithanunshakensoul.9.AndbythepracticeofrightdiscriminationattainedbythepathofYogahe

rescuesthesoul—thesouldrownedintheseaofconditionedexistence.11.Actionsareforthepurificationoftheheart,notfortheattainmentofthe

realsubstance.Thesubstancecanbeattainedbyrightdiscrimination,butnotbyanyamountofKarma.

32. Among the instruments of emancipation the supreme is devotion.MeditationuponthetrueformoftherealSelfissaidtobedevotion.33.Somesaydevotion ismeditationon thenatureofone’sAtman.Hewho

possesses all these qualifications is onewho is fit to know the true nature ofAtman.39.Thegreatandpeacefulonesliveregeneratingtheworldlikethecomingof

spring, and after having themselves crossed the ocean of embodied existence,helpthosewhotrytodothesamething,withoutpersonalmotives.40.Thisdesireisspontaneous,sincethenaturaltendencyofgreatsoulsisto

removethesufferingofothersjustastheambrosia-rayed(moon)ofitselfcoolstheearthheatedbytheharshraysofthesun.46. There is an effectualmeans for the destruction of birth and re-birth by

which,crossingtheoceanofchanginglife,thouwiltattaintosupremebliss.53. Sons and others are capable of discharging a father’s debts; but no one

exceptoneselfcanremove(hisown)bondage.54.Otherscanremovethepain(causedbytheweightof)burdensplacedon

thehead,butthepain(thatarises)fromhungerandthelikecannotberemovedexceptbyoneself.61. If the supreme truth remains unknown, the study of the scriptures is

fruitless;evenifthesupremetruthisknownthestudyofthescripturesisuseless(the study of the letter alone is useless, the spirit must be sought out byintuition).62. In a labyrinth of words the mind is lost like a man in a thick forest,

thereforewithgreateffortsmustbelearnedthetruthaboutoneselffromhimwhoknowsthetruth.63.Ofwhat use are theVedas to himwho has been bitten by the snake of

igriptures,incantationnorance?(Ofwhatuseare)scriptures,incantations,oranymedicineexceptthemedicineofsupremeknowledge?64.Disease is never cured by (pronouncing) the name ofmedicinewithout

takingit;liberationisnotachievedbythe(pronunciationofthe)wordBrahmanwithoutdirectperception.66.Without theconquestofenemies,withoutcommandof the treasureofa

vastcountry,bythemerewords‘Iamaking’,itisimpossibletobecomeone.86.Hewholivesonlytonourishhisownbody,islikeonewhocrossesariver

onanalligatorthinkingittobealogofwood.87.Foronedesirousofliberation,desirespertainingtothebody,etc.,leadto

thegreatdeath;hewhoisfreefromsuchdesiresisalonefittogainliberation.92. Know that this gross body, on which depend all the external

manifestationsofthepurusa,isbutlikethehouseofthehouseholder.

128.Whoduringwaking,dreaming,anddreamlessslumberknowsthemindanditsfunctionswhicharegoodnessanditsabsence—thisistheSelf.134. This unmanifested spiritual consciousness begins to manifest like the

dawninthepureheart,andshininglikethemid-daysuninthe‘caveofwisdom’illuminatingwholeuniverse.160.Fullofmisery,coveredwithflesh,fulloffilth,fullofsin,howcanitbe

theknower?TheSelfisdifferentfromthis.161. The deludedman considers the Self to be themass of skin, flesh, fat,

bones and filth. The man of discrimination knows the essential form of self,whichisthesupremetruth,tobewithouttheseascharacteristicmarks.166.Becausethefalseconvictionthattheselfismerelythebody,istheseed

producingpainintheformofbirthandtherest,effortsmustbemadetoabandonthatidea;theattractiontowardsmaterialexistencewillthenceasetoexist.175. Having produced attachment to the body and all other objects, it thus

bindstheindividualasananimalisboundbyarope,afterwardshavingproducedaversiontotheseasiftopoison,thatmanasitselffreeshimfrombondage.176.Therefore themanas is thecauseof thebondageof this individualand

also of its liberation. The manas when stained by passion is the cause ofbondage,andofliberationwhenpure,devoidofpassionandignorance.178.Intheforestlandofobjectswandersthegreattigernamedmanas;pure

mendesirousofliberationdonotgothere.220.Thefool,havingseentheimageofthesuninthewaterofthejar,thinks

itisthesun.SoanignorantmanseeingthereflectionoftheLogosinanyoftheupadhis(vehicles)takesittobetherealself.221.Asthewisemanlooksatthesunitselfandnotthejar,thewater,orthe

reflection;soalsothewisemanlookstowardstheself-illuminedatman throughwhichthethree(upadhis)aremanifested.222,223.Thusitisthattheindividual,abandoningthebody,theintellectand

the reflection of consciousness, becomes sinless, passionless and deathless byknowingtheself-illuminatedatman,whichistheseer,whichisitselftheeternalknowledge, different from reality as well as unreality, eternal, all pervading,supremely subtle, devoidofwithin andwithout, theonlyone, in the centreofwisdom.229.Byreasonofignorancethisuniverseappearsmultiform,butinrealityall

this isBrahman (which remains), when all defective mental states have beenrejected.235.TheLord, theknowerofallobjects in their reality,hasdeclared, ‘Iam

notdistinctfromthemnoraretheydistinctfromme’.236.Ifthisuniverseisareality,itshouldbeperceivedindreamlessslumber.

Since,however,nothingisperceived(inthatcondition)itisasunrealasdreams.240.Whenall thedifferencescreatedbymaya (illusion)havebeenrejected,

(thereremains)aself-illuminedsomethingwhichiseternal,fixed,withoutstain,immeasurable,withoutform,unmanifested,withoutname,indestructible.241. The wise know that as the supreme truth which is absolute

consciousness, inwhichareunited theknower, theknownand theknowledge,infiniteandunchangeable.271. Having given up following the way of the world, the body, or the

scriptures,removetheerroneousconceptionthatAtmanisNon-atman.274.Asbymixturewithwaterandbyfriction,sandal-woodemitsanexcellent

odour, removing all bad smells; so divine aspiration becomes manifest whenexternaldesireiswashedaway.276.Theaspirationtowardsatmanisstifledbythenetofun-spiritualdesires,

for by constant devotion to atman they are destroyed, and divine aspirationbecomesmanifest.285. So long as the notion ‘I am this body’ is not completely abandoned,

control yourself with great concentration, and with great effort remove theerroneousconceptionthatNon-spiritisSpirit.298.Abandon thenotionof ‘I’ in family,clan,name, formandstateof life,

whichalldependonthisphysicalbodyandalsohavingabandonedthepropertiesofthelingas’arira,suchasthefeelingofbeingtheactorandtherest—becometheessentialformwhichisabsolutebliss.316.Vasana,nourishedbythesetwo,*producesthechanginglifeoftheego.

Means for thedestructionof this triadalways,underallcircumstances (shouldbesought).317.Byeverywhere,ineveryway,lookinguponeverythingasBrahman,and

bystrengtheningtheperceptionofthe(one)realitythistriadwilldisappear.318. By the extinction of action, comes the extinction of anxious thought,

from this (latter) the extinction of vasana. The final extinction of Vasana isliberation—thatisalsocalledjivanmukti.327. The mind directed towards objects of sense determines their qualities

(andthusbecomesattractedbythem);fromthisdeterminationarisesdesire,andfromdesirehumanaction.328. From that comes separation from the real self; one thus separated

retrogrades.Thereisnotseenthereascentbutthedestructionofthefallenone.Thereforeabandonthoughts(aboutsense-objects),thecauseofallevils.329. Therefore for one possessed of discrimination, knowing Brahman in

samadhi, there isnodeathother than fromnegligence.Hewho is absorbed in(thereal)self,achievesthefullestsuccess;hencebeheedfulandself-controlled.

330.Hewhowhilelivingrealizesunity(withthesupreme),doessoalsowhendevoidofthebody.Forhimwhoisconsciousofeventheslightestdifferentiationthereisfear—sosaystheYajur-Veda.368.Thefirstgateofyoga is thecontrolofspeech, thennon-acceptance(of

anything and all), absence of expectation, absence of desire and uninterrupteddevotiontotheone(reality).376.Forhimwhoispossessedofexcessivedispassion there issamadhi; for

him in samadhi there is unwavering spiritual perception. For him who hasperceived the essential reality there is liberation, and for the liberated atmanthereisrealizationofeternalbliss.385. Regard the indestructible and all-pervading Atman, freed from all the

upadhis—body, senses, vitality, mind, egotism and the rest—produced byignoranceasmahakasa(greatspace).389.TheatmanisBrahma,theatmanisVisnu,theatmanisIndra,theatman

isSiva,theatmanisthewholeofthisuniverse;besidesAtmanthereisnothing.390.Theatmaniswithin,theatmaniswithout,theatmanisbefore;theatman

isbehind,theatmanisinthesouth,theatmanisinthenorth,theatmanisalsoaboveandbelow.398,Ontheremovalofallphenomenalattributesimposedupontheself, the

trueselfis(foundtobe)thesupreme,non-dual,andactionlessBrahman.419. The gain of the yogi who has attained perfection is the enjoyment of

perpetualblissintheatman.448.BytheknowledgethatI(theLogos)amBrahman,theKarmaacquiredin

athousandmillionsofkalpasisextinguished,asistheKarmaofdreamlifeonawakening.450.Havingrealizedhisrealselfasspace,withoutattachmentandindifferent

(to worldly concerns), he never clings to (becomes united with) anythingwhatsoeverbyfuturekarma.458. Similarly hewho ever abides in the atman and thus inParabrahman,

seesnothingelse.Eating,sleeping,etc.,aretoawisemanbutastherecollectionofobjectsseenindream.482.ThroughtherealizationoftheatmanwithBrahman,(my)understanding

isutterlylostandmentalactivityhasvanished.Iknowneitherthisnorthat,norwhatthisblissis,itsextent,noritslimit.483.Thegreatnessofparabrahman,likeanoceancompletelyfilledwiththe

nectar of realized bliss, can neither be described by speech nor conceived bymind, but can be enjoyed. Just as a hailstone falling into the sea becomesdissolved therein, somymindbecomesmerged (even) in the leastpartof this(parabrahman).NowamIhappywithspiritualbliss.

484.Whereisthisworldgone?Bywhomwasitcarriedaway?Whendiditdisappear?Agreatwonder!Thatwhichwasperceivedbutnowexistsnolonger.486. Here (in the state) I neither see, nor hear, nor know anything. I am

differentfromeveryotherthing—theatmanwhoistruebliss.487.Ibowbeforethee,Oguru,whoartgood,great,freefromattachment,the

embodimentofeternal,non-dualbliss:lordoftheearth,theboundlessreservoirofcompassion.489.BythygraceIamhappyandhaveattainedmyobject,Iamfreedfrom

thesharkofchangingexistence,andhavegainedthestateofeternalblissandamperfect.490. I am without attachment and without limbs. I am sexless and

indestructible.Iamcalmandendless.Iamwithoutstainandancient.491.Iamnotthedoer,noramItheenjoyer,Iamwithoutchangeandwithout

action.Iampureintelligence,one,andeternalbliss.493.Iamneitherthisnorthat;butIshineforthinbothofthemandampure

andsupreme.Iamneitherwithinnorwithout,butIamall-pervadingandnon-dualBrahman.501. I have no more connection with the body than.the sky with a cloud.

Whence, then, can I be subject to states (states of the body) such as waking,dreaminganddreamlessslumber?513. I am that Brahman which is like space, subtle, non-dual, without

beginning and without end, and in which the whole universe, from theunmanifesteddowntogrossmatter,isknowntobeamerephantom.517.Iamall-pervading;Iameverythingandtranscendeverything;Iamnon-

dual,indestructibleknowledgeandeternalbliss.518.OGuru,thissupremacyoverearthandheavenisattainedbymethrough

thy compassion and greatly esteemed favour. To thee, great-souled one(Mahatma),Ibowdownagainandagain.519.OGuru, having in thygreat compassion awakenedme from the sound

sleep(ofignorance),thouhastsavedme,roamingaboutinthedream-likeforestof birth, old age and death, created by maya, daily tormented by manifoldafflictions,andterrifiedbythetigerofegoism.520. O Guru, I bow down before thee who art truth alone, who hast the

spendourofwisdomandwhoshinestintheformoftheuniverse.THEEND

*Thoughtandexternalaction.