THE IDEAL

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Contents

Ideal Friend

Ideal Working Woman

Ideal Wife Ideal Mother

Ideal Muslimah Friend “Be the seller of musk”

ج�ل� " الر� وسلم عليه الله صلى �ه� الل ول� س� ر� ق�ال��ل� ال �خ� ي م�ن� �م� �ح�د�ك أ �ظ�ر� �ن �ي ف�ل �ه� �يل ل خ� د�ين� ع�ل�ى

Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said:

"A man is upon the religion of his friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."

Jami` at-Tirmidhi 2378, Hasan(Darussalam)

SELLER OF MUSK

Abu Musa reported Allah's Messenger ملسو هيلع هللا ىلص) ) as saying:

The similitude of good company and that of bad company is that of the owner of musk and of the one (iron-smith) blowing bellows, and the owner of musk would either offer you free of charge or you would buy it from him or you would,smell its pleasant odour, and so far as one who blows the. bellows is concerned, he would either burn your clothes or you shall have to smell its repugnant smell. [Sahih Muslim 2628]

What is the importance of a mirror?

A Muslimah should be the a good friend to another. Each one of us function like a mirror to another

When you are with your friend you show her, her faults, in the best manner, but when you are not in front of her, you don’t go on spreading her faults to others! You show her faults just as they are, not more not less

Story of Umar and his friend who fell into sin.

1. Friendship has no bounds

Part of being a good Muslimah is that we don’t have racism or jealousy in us, we don’t look down upon people nor talk proudly and arrogantly to people.

Qualities of an Ideal friend…

• Two Muslimah should not talk in seclusion, when there are three.

• Always look for the better of your sister

• Prophet said: “None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves from himself.”

• Express Love and tell your sister about it.(Please note sisters to sisters only!)

Narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The rights of one Muslim over another are six.” It was said: What are they, O Messenger of Allaah? He said:

• “If you meet him, greet him with salaam;

• if he invites you, accept the invitation;

• if he asks for advice, give him sincere advice.

• If he sneezes and praises Allaah, say Yarhamuk Allaah (may Allaah have mercy on you);

• If he falls sick, visit him; • and if he dies, attend his funeral.”

• Note 6 is not for women

2. Friend in Need is a Friend in ‘deed’

A Muslimah should be concerned about her friends, she should help those in need, this is from Islam.

Incident of Prophet and the companion Suhaib Aroomi

3. Remembrance of Allah

The heart which is devoid of remembrance of Allah, is the workshop of the Satan. If you truly connect to Allah through meaningful Salah, dhikr and ibadah.

4. Reliable and trustworthy

This means that she guards secrets and does not leak them out.

When she hears a Muslimah is in problem, she will help and give advise or take her to others who can help. She does not magnify the problems to others, bad mouth her sister.

Tips on choosing Good friends: Qualities of a good friend:

1. Haya:

How would you like a girl to jostle between a crowd of men and talk casual to the boys out there? Most probably she’ll force you out in the open with her, she will ridicule your hijab and ask you to become bold

b) Reliability

Good friends will help when you need them, she will keep secrets. and she will not lie to you.

c) Talks less: Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:

The Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said, "He who believes in Allah and the Last Day must either speak good or remain silent.“ [Muslim].

• The generations after the companions, were very conscious of how much they spoke. They would only speak good and enjoin good on others of else they would remain silent

d) Reminds you of Allah & Does deeds which Allah is pleased with.

When you do something wrong she corrects you politely and she calls you to all the good deeds she is doing. When you are with her you are actually increasing in you hasanah(good deeds) and she is someone you look up to

Movies are the first bad habits a bad friend can get you in...so watch out!

Danger Zone

• Friendship with Non-Muslims.• Friendship with opposite genders.

Activity

Message your best friend, who is a Muslim and tell her you love her for the sake of Allah!

The Ideal Working Woman

Have you taken the responsibility of your “flock”?

Role of Women in Islam• Women are are given role of

nurturing families and taking care of household.

• Hadeeth every one of you is a shepard

عليه الله صلى Fي� �ب الن ع�ن� ، ع�م�ر� �ن� اب ع�ن� " Lول� ئ م�س� �م� Pك �ل و�ك Qاع ر� �م� Pك �ل ك � �ال أ ق�ال� وسلم Qاع ر� �اس� الن ع�ل�ى �ذ�ي ال �م�ير� ف�األ �ه� �ت ي ع� ر� ع�ن�

�ه�ل� أ ع�ل�ى Qاع ر� ج�ل� و�الر� �ه� �ت ي ع� ر� ع�ن� Lول� ئ و�م�س�ع�ل�ى Lة� ي اع� ر� �ة� أ �م�ر� و�ال �ه�م� ع�ن Lول� ئ م�س� و�ه�و� �ه� �ت �ي ب

Qاع ر� �د� �ع�ب و�ال �ه� ع�ن Lة� �ول ئ م�س� و�ه�ي� �ه�ا �ع�ل ب �ت� �ي ب�م� Pك �ل ف�ك � �ال أ �ه� ع�ن Lول� ئ م�س� و�ه�و� Fد�ه� ي س� م�ال� ع�ل�ى

�ه� �ت ي ع� ر� ع�ن� Lول� ئ م�س� �م� Pك �ل و�ك Qاع "ر�

Narrated Ibn 'Umar:That the Prophet ملسو هيلع هللا ىلصsaid: "Indeed each of you is a shepherd and all of you will be questioned regarding your flock. The commander who is in authority over the Muslims is responsible and he will be questioned regarding his responsibility. The man is responsible over the inhabitants of his house and he is the one who will be questioned about them. The wife is responsible in her husband's house and she will be questioned about it.

Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1705, Graded Sahih Darusalaam

Have you taken the responsibility of your “flock”?

Our bodies have been designed for this purpose, their mental capacity has been designed for this purpose. This should be their focus and this is where they should put all their effort.

If women take up burden from elsewhere, which is not their duty, then they will not do justice to what they are accountable for.

Importance of a woman’s role1. Looks after her husband’s needs &

Nurtures family

2. Safeguards the family- fortress against the devil.

3. Raises a pious generation

4. Protects the wealth of her husband/wali.

5. Advises, consults, teaches and supports for family and the Ummah.

Checklist for working women

1. Will I be able to avail segregated education in relatively fitnah free atmosphere?

2. Am I going to get a job in a segregated atmosphere once I graduate?

3. Will I be able to give 8-10 hours of my day for this job, later on in life. Without upsetting my duties?

4. Is a female really required in the field I have chosen?

5. e) Is a female workforce really beneficial in contributing to this field?

If your answer is yes, then sure go ahead… if it is no then you are not

seeking knowledge which is pleasing Allah, it is not beneficial

Regulations on going out for women

"And stay in your houses and do not display yourselves (At-

Tabarooj) like that of the times of ignorance..." [Surah Al-Ahzab

33:33]

Western civilizations instill this idea of “coaxing women to become career

oriented leaving the duties which they need and the Ummah needs to taking up jobs which only for “ higher state of

mind” and “social status”

It is not correct to say that worldly study per say is not to be done, but women should choose those field

based on the benefit it has and not on how society appraises it!

Education1. Gynecology

2. Psychology.

3. Dentistry

4. d. Educationist –teaching, admin. Etc.

5. Daeea - the best profession

6. General Practioners- treating females and children only.

7. Sciences-teaching females only.

Why take up a professional job?

“Oh I have had a degree, shouldn't it be put to use?”

Reasons for working unnecessarily:

1. Pocket Money:We need some money for the wardrobe transformation, new make-up kits and not to mention fine dining, this is the reason many females step out of the house to work.

Amr b. Auf reported that Allah’s Messenger said: By Allah, it is not the poverty about which I fear in regard to you but I am afraid in our case the (the worldly) riches may be given to you as were given to those who had gone before you and you begin to compete with one another for them as they competed for them, and these may destroy

you as it destroyed them –

Al Bukhari

2.“I want to use my degree”

3. “I have financial responsibilities”

Consequence of prioritizing career over home

1. Delay in marriage.

2. Difficulty in getting suitable match

3. Lack of attention to homely duties.

4. Family conflicts

5. Difficulty in raising children.

6. Exploitation of women.

7. Lesser time dedicated to learning and community needs

Balancing the two work and home

Women should focus on raising children, working in the home, on making a home not outside the home from where it destroys the home. They should see their situation and

work within guidelines of Islam. If their work outside does not allow them to do their

homely duties well, they quit their work not their homely duties.

Don’ts

Take up job full time.

Work in mixed atmospheres.

Work in haram dealings- riba, haram business, accounting of riba, fashion designing, selling of haram goods etc.

• Working without permission/travelling of husband/wali.

• Spending lavishly.• Working for a higher state of

living.• Forsake homely duties

Dos• Work part-time.

• Work from home.

• Manage homely duties

Hadeeth of Charity by Women1. Ibn `Abbas (radiallahu anhum) that the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said: "O women, give charity, for I have surely seen that you form the majority of the inhabitants of Hell." They asked, `Why is this so, O Messenger of Allah?" He said, "Because you curse too much, and are ungrateful for good treatment (on the part of your husbands)."

Fath al-Bari, 3/325, Kitab al-zakat, bab al-zakat 'ala'l-aqarib; Sahih Muslim, 2/65, Kitab al-iman, bab bayan naqsan al-iman bi naqs al-ta'at.

Hikmah SaysSajida is Muslim girl hailing from a middle

class family. Her parents spent extravagantly on her older sister’s wedding

and are struggling to make ends meet, Sajida has decided to earn for them and

make it a condition in marriage that she will continue to do so after marriage. What

would you advise Sajida?

Activity Time

The UnEducated Muslim Women - Dr. Bilal Philips Ideal working woman.mp4

Quiz TimeQ. Which two wives of the prophet were working women?

Q. Can a woman dispose off her wealth without the permission of her husband? Why why not?

Q. A woman gave Zakah to her husband, he was poor is it valid?

Legacy of Great Womena. Khadeeja.

b. . Zainab bint Jahsh the wife of the Prophet.

c. Aisha the wife of the Prophet.

Ideal Muslim Wife Completes his deen, the right way… the best way!

Marriage in Islam• Marriage is the way to permissible relationship as well as

to establish companionship between men and woman.

ف�ى ن�� ف�� ة�‌ ن ح� ن� ن� ة� ة ن�� ن� �� ن ڪ�م ن� ح� �ن �ن �ن ن� ن� ن!ا ح� ن" ف�� ا� و� ڪ� ڪ% ح& ن' ل" ة�ا ة ن�ٲ ح* ن+� حم ڪ% ف& ڪ, ن+�ن ح. ل� ڪ%م ن" ن/ ن0 ن1 ح� ن+� ۦ ف4 ف' ـ5 ن7 ن�8 ح. ف� ن�ن� ) ڪ�9 ن�% ن, ن' ن7 :; ة ح� ن> ل" =; ة ـ5 ن7 ن+< ن? ن@ ف" (٢١نAٲ

And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect. (Surah 30:21)

Virtue of Being a wifeWife in Islam is a very respected relationship, one entitled to love companionship, trust, respect and not to mention mutual consultation and cooperation.The Prophet said: “This world is just temporary conveniences, and the best comfort in this world is a righteous women." (Sahih Muslim 10/56, Kitab al-rida', bab istihbab nikah al-bikr)

Being Mentally prepared …

• She has strong faith in Allah that Allah has ordained for her a lofty position and she should feel confident and proud in fulfilling this role.

• She should gains knowledge about the duties and obligations of a wife and its importance in her dunya and akhirah.

• She should not demeans herself and think that her role is subjugating or useless, thereby leaving out her duties, keeping the ayah in mind.

• و ا�‌ �Eڪ ن& ن' Fح ٱ ن� ا ل� HI ة �Jف نن Kف ن�ا ل9 ل"0 ‌L; ة �ح �ن ـى ن0 Mن حم ڪ% Nن �ح �ن ف4ۦ �ف ڪ4 0� ن ٱ" �ن Nن� ن� ن�ا ا� ح� �� ن ن ن' Oن ن?< نة ا ة ف�0 Mن 8; حى Pن �ل ڪ% �ف ن� نFا ن4 0� ن ٱ" ن�� ف�� ۦ‌ ف4 ف0 Nح ن� ف�. ن4 0� ن ٱ" ا� ڪ�0 ن+5 Rح ن� ن.‌ Eن&ح ن' Sح ٱ ن� ا ل� HI ة �Jف نن ف8 وا ن& ل� ف"0 ن�

(٣٢)

• And wish not for the things in which Allâh has made some of you to excel others. For men there is reward for what they have earned, (and likewise) for women there is reward for what they have earned, and ask Allâh of His Bounty. Surely, Allâh is Ever All¬Knower of everything. (Surah Nisa 4:32)

Women are full-sisters of men• For Muslim men and women - for believing men and

women, for devout men and women, for true men and women, for men and women who are constant and patient, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in charity, for men and women who fast [and deny themselves], for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in Allah's praise - for them has Allah prepared forgiveness and great reward.) (Qur'an 33:35)

Obligations of a Muslimah1. Obedience based on devoutness She is devoutly obedient to him, in everything he tells her which does not contest with the command of Allah and His messenger.

Obligations of a Muslimah

ڪ4‌ 0� ن ٱ" Tن ف, ن� ن ا �ف Hف ح� Uن ح0 ل" =I ة ـ5 Vن ف, ـ5 ن� =I ـ5 ن' ف� ـ5 Wن ڪ= ـ5 Xن ف0 ـ5 Jن� ن�ٱ"Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allâh and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence what Allâh orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property) (Surah Noor 4:34)

Does not subject herself to anything against her husband’s wishes

• She does not talk, go out or subject herself to anything which her husband disapproves of. She is protective of his jealousy or gheerah towards her, and honors it in words, behavior and actions, in his presence of absence.

The Prophet (PBUH) said:"If a woman prays her five daily prayers, fasts her month (of Ramadan), obeys her husband and guards her chastity, then it will be said to her: `Enter Paradise by whichever of its gates you wish.'“ (Ahmed, Tabarani, Authentic)

The Prophet (PBUH) said:"It is not permitted for a woman who believes in Allah (SWT) to allow anyone into her husband's house whom he dislikes; or to go out when he does not want her to; or to obey anyone else against him; or to forsake his bed; or to hit him. If he is wrong, then let her come to him until he is pleased with her, and if he accepts her then all is well, Allah (SWT) will accept her deeds and make her position stronger, and there will be no sin on her. If he does not accept her, then at least she will have done her best and excused herself in the sight of Allah (SWT)

[Reported by al-Hakim, 2/190, Kitab al-nikah; he said its isnad is sahih.]

Example of Fatima & Her married lifeFatimah al-Zahra', the daughter of Muhammad (PBUH) and the wife of `Ali ibn Abi Talib (RAA). She used to complain of the pain in her hands caused by grinding grain with the hand-mill. Her husband `Ali ibn Abi Talib said to her one day, "Your father has brought some female slaves, so go and ask him for one of them to come and serve you." She went to her father, but she felt too shy to ask him for what she wanted. `Ali went and asked him to provide a servant for his beloved daughter, but the Prophet (PBUH) could not respond to those who most dear to him whilst ignoring the needs of the poor among the Muslims, so he came to his daughter and her husband and said: "Shall I not teach you something that is better than that for which you asked me? When you go to bed at night, say `Subhan Allah' thirty-three times, `Al-hamdu lillah' thirty-three times, and `Allahu akbar' thirty-four times. This is better for you than a servant."

c. Respects and Honors him

She respects his personality, behavior, personal habits and choices, as she chose him and she does not belittle him in anyway.

Story of Ibrahim and his daughter-in- law.

Prophet said, "A woman should not fast if her husband is present, except with his permission. She should not allow anyone to enter his house when he is present without his permission. Whatever she spends of his wealth without him having told her to do so, half of the reward for it will be given to him." [Sahih Muslim]

"If a man calls his wife, then let her come, even if she is busy at the oven” A hasan sahih hadith narrated by Tirmidhi, 2/314, abwab al-rida', 10, and by Ibn Hibban, Sahih, 9,473, kitab al-nikah.

Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (PBUH) said : "By the One in Whose hand is my soul, there is no man who calls his wife to his bed, and she refuses him, but the One Who is in heaven will be angry with her, until the husband is pleased with her once more." (Sahih Muslim)

d. Safeguards his wealthThe Prophet (PBUH) in the hadith:"It is not permitted for a woman to fast when her husband is present, except with his permission; or to allow anyone into his house except with his permission; or to spend any of his earnings unless he has told her to do so, otherwise half of the reward will be given to him.”Fath al-Bari, 9/295, Kitab al-nikah, bab la ta'dhan al-mar'ah fi bayt zawjiha li ahad illa bi idhnihi

e. Gratefulness

• Ibn `Abbas (RAA) that the Prophet (PBUH) said: "O women, give charity, for I have surely seen that you form the majority of the inhabitants of Hell." They asked, `Why is this so, O Messenger of Allah?" He said, "Because you curse too much, and are ungrateful for good treatment (on the part of your husbands)."Another narration says" because they are ungrateful for good and kind treatment. Even if you treated one of them (these ungrateful women) well for an entire lifetime, then she saw one fault in you, she would say, `I have never seen anything good from you.Fath al-Bari, 1/83, Kitab al-iman, bab kufran al-'ashir

Qualities of an Ideal Wife1. Willingness to obeyShe should obey him and balance between being a companion and still acknowledging and respecting his authority over her. Let your husband be the akhirah and not the world…

2.ModestyShe should be shy of doing the slightest things which will dishonour the gheerah(possessive jealousy) of her husband. She should walk, behave and think modestly and lower her gaze, from inciting sights, refrain from situations which can arouse doubts

Incident of Asma bin Abee bakr and her hard work at the garden

• “Al-Zubayr married me, and he had no wealth, no slaves, nothing except his horse. I used to feed his horse, looking after it and exercising it. I crushed date-stones to feed his camel. I used to bring water and repair the bucket, and I used to make bread but I could not bake it, so some of my Ansari neighbours, who were kind women, used to bake it for me. I used to carry the dates from the garden that the Prophet (PBUH) had given to al-Zubayr on my head, and this garden was two-thirds of a farsakh away. One day I was coming back with the dates on my head. I met the Messenger of Allah, who had a group of his Companions with him. He called me, then told his camel to sit down so that I could ride behind him. I told (al-Zubayr), `I felt shy, because I know that you are a jealous man.' He said, `It is worse for me to see you carrying the dates on your head than to see you riding behind him.' [Sahih Bukhari and Muslim]”

3. Clean, Presentable and Beautified

• She should be appealing to her husband, adorn herself for him and also make herself available for him at all times.

Our Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “ The best of women is that she please him when he looks at her, obeys him when he orders her and does not subject her person or money to what he dislikes.” ( Ahmed, An Nisa’aee, Saheeh Al jami)

• She should use perfumes and permissible make-up, in legitimate ways so that she welcomes him and makes him feel special when he enters upon her from hard days work.

4. TLC factor at work again- tender love and care;

Prophet peace be upon him said, “Shall I not tell you about your wives in Paradise?" We said, "Of course, O Messenger of Allah." He said, "They are fertile and loving. If she becomes angry or is mistreated, or her husband becomes angry, she says, `My hand is in your hand; I shall never sleep until you are pleased with me.”(Reported by al-Tabarani. Its narrators are those whose reports are accepted as sahih. See Majma' al-Zawa'id, 4/312.)

5. Fulfils his desires

• She realizes the challenges he may face as a working man and the fitna around him. So she does her best to fulfil his desires, which are legitimate

6. Loyal and Committed• An ideal wife does not leave her husband for his

mistakes or shortcomings. She does not change her behavior attitudes, thinking and trust, if she sees some bad habits in him.

• She is committed in all circumstances, whether he is rich or poor, healthy or sick, strong or weak- she stands by him advises him lovingly and patiently and wisely warns him against sin.

7. Open and Honest

• An ideal wife is honest about herself and is open in her relationship with her husband. She does not hide things, keeping him guessing or misunderstanding her.

8. Communicative• She uses the best words to connect with him and his

family. An ideal wife does not even come near to foul language, raising her voice, taunting or bad mouthing anyone, especially her husband.

• She should try to understand situations and his capacity and not ask for him, or demand from him that which is beyond his scope.

• She make him feel wanted by her and valued. If she wants something from him she asks in a polite manner, may discuss without bossing around and should be patient with him in things she wants.

9. MaturityShe should not obey her husband over the disobedience to Allah. She should not leave her obligations because of her husband enjoining her to.The authority of obedience to him was given by Allah, How then can we disobey Allah just to avoid disputes and run the family?Example of Wife of Pharoah

Legacy of Great Women1. Incident of Fatima and Ali while Abu bakr visits them-

devoutness in obedience

2. Incident of Naila the wife of Uthman- defence of honour, sacrifice.

3. Incident of Zainab bint Muhammed- loyalty and commitment.

4. Incident of Aisha bin Abu Bakr on ifk- honesty and truthfulness.

5. Incident of Khadeeja upon 1st revelation-steadfastness, companionship, support, consultative, sacrifice and trust.

Legacy of Great Women6. Incident of wife of Pharoah when she found baby Moosa & later accepted Islam- sacrifice, justice(standing up for truth),gentleness.

7. Incident of wife of Moosa- Modesty, Maturity.

8. Incident of Hajar with Ismail- devout obedience, loyalty and tawwakkul.

Activity Time

Hikmah SaysA wife has three kids, and she has the knowledge to do da’wah, her husband orders her to go out and convey the message of Allah, conduct classes and teach. However she has homely duties with kids as well. What do you think Islamically is the best thing she should do?

Q. A woman gave some of her husband’s money in charity, without his knowledge, will she be rewarded for it?

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Re-Connecting hearts

For all those wonderful wives out there, write atleast three best qualities which you find in your husband and or he has done for you and send him a hearty thanks message for it…Share your experience…

THE IDEAL MOTHERNurture the little ones, to whom your feet are

Jannah

Obligations of Mothers

1. Giving the child right to live

It is forbidden for one to kill his child, either after birth or before as in abortion. It is forbidden to stop child birth.

Obligations of Mothers

2. Feeding & looking after well being. It is an obligation for mothers to nurse their child for two years(scholars dispute) and bring them up well.She should feed them, and take care of them, protect them from harm and see to their welfare.Prevent the child for crying- see to his food ,clothing, cleanliness and sleep for good health.

Obligations of Mothers

3. Protect them from harmA true Muslimah will rare her kids well, watch out for the harm to her kids both in this world and here-after. Recite ruqyah for them from Sunnah and prevent them from going into places of shirk, haram and doing things.Do not expose them to amulets, charms and spells for protection- this is shirk and only destroys the child.

Dua for protection of children

، �; ن�� ا ن] ن� ، �; ا ن\ ا� Pن �ل Sڪ ا. ف� ف� �� ن ا '� ن " � ف4 0 " � ف[ ا ن ف0 ن% �ف ا ن Sڪ ڪ � Mف ڪ+� �; ن�� > ن? .; ا� Mن �ل Sڪ ا. ف� Ibn abbas related that the Messenger of Allahن�

(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to commend Al-Hasan and Al-Husayn to Allah’s protection, saying:

“I commend you to the protection of Allah’s perfect words from every devil, vermin, and every evil eye.”

Keeping them indoors

• “When the wings of the night spread – or when evening comes – keep your children in, for the devils come out at that time. Then when part of the night has passed, let them go. And close the doors and mention the name of Allaah, for the shaytaan does not open a closed door. And tie up your waterskins and mention the name of Allaah, and cover your vessels and mention the name of Allaah, even if you only put something over them, and extinguish your lamps.” al-Bukhaari (3280) and Muslim (2012)

3. Being just with them

A true Muslimah will treat all her children whether male of female, older or younger, beautiful or ugly, smart or not, equally while taking care of them.She educates them equally and warns them of evil equally without any distinction.Allah rebuke the parent who frowns/buries when a girl is born.

ح= ن0 ف�_ Rڪ ڪ� ن� ۥ ڪ8 ح� ن ٱح" � Aن ف�� ن� And when the female (infant) buried alive (as the pagan Arabs used to do) is questioned. Surah Takwir 81:8)

“Did you give your other children something similar?”Al-Nu`mân b. Bashîr once addressed the people from the pulpit and told them about what took place between the Prophet and his father, saying: My father gave him a gift. Then my mother, `Amrah bint Rawâhah, said: “I will not be satisfied until Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon it) is a witness to it.” So my father went to Allah’s Messenger and said: “I gave a gift to my son from `Amrah bint Rawâhah, and she told me to have you be a witness to it, O Messenger of Allah.” The Prophet (peace be upon him) asked: “Did you give your other children something similar?” He replied that he had not. So the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Fear Allah, and be just between your children.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî (2587) and Sahîh Muslim (1623)]

• Being partial, causes children to dispute and brings hatred in them.

• You never know which child may grow up and become a more righteous one and a source of ongoing charity for you.

• Prophet said: “Fear Allah and treat your children [small or grown] fairly (with equal justice).” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

7 Habits of Successfully Raising Children

1. Choosing the right spouseChoose someone whom you like your child to become. Remember you are also choosing a father for your child, not just a spouse.

Marry those who see to protect their families them against evil, keeping them in good atmospheres away from haram-Music, TV, obscene games, immoral social circles.

2. Reciting dua at every time of intimacy

Seek protection from Satan, and recite the dua for intercourse and remind your husband too. Muslimah should seek to ward off Satan in every step, and learn the ways ho

3. Performing the Aqeeqah of the child

The Sunnah of sacrificing an animal at the time of birth of child. Prophet said, “Every child should be mortgaged by its aqeeqah. It should be slaughtered for him or her on the 7th day, child’s hair shaved and he should be named.”[Nisaee, Abu Dawood, Graded Sahih by Albani irwa al ghaleel]

4. Create an Islamic Atmosphere

• The home should be free from fitna like TV, Music,pictures, and bells and elements of shirk

• Bring in Islamic books, games and lectures for children's study with.

• Give them attention and a pleasant atmosphere to be content with.

• Be kind, loving and caring, avoid harsh behavior.• A true Muslimah mother will be the best teacher,

and the best companion.

5. Teach the religion early

• A child was brought to Imam Shafie and asked “Is this a good age to start teaching the child religion?” to which he replied,” this is too late,”

• Start early as early as two-3 children can be taught about Allah, belief and from 4 about character and manners.

• Teaching them early, prevent the ill affects of bad atmosphere to have much influence on them.

Teach them the deen start from aqeedahAmr ibn Shu‘ayb narrated from his father from his grandfather that Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said, “Command your children to pray at the age of seven and spank them for it at the age of ten, and separate them in their beds.” 112 Sunan Abu Dawud, vol. , p. , no. , Kitaab: Kitaab as Salaat; Baab: Mataa yu’mar al ghulaam bis salaat.

6. Teach them by Example

• Children learn by seeing and modelling behavior more than by obeying instructions.

• You can’t teach them kindness, when you are rude, truthfulness when you lie, respect when you are disrespectful, good speech when you have bad tongue.

• Do not expose them to fights, rude behaviors and bad language.

• Do not fight with your husband in front of them, and do not backbite about him.

• Narrated Umm Khalid: I (the daughter of Khalid ibn Said) went to Allah’s Messenger with my father and I was wearing a yellow shirt. Allah’s Messenger said, “Sanah, Sanah!” (`Abdullah, the narrator, said that sanah meant “good” in the Ethiopian language). I then started playing with the seal of prophethood (between the Prophet’s shoulders) and my father rebuked me harshly for that. Allah’s Messenger said, “Leave her.” The Prophet, then, invoked Allah to grant her a long life thrice. (Al-Bukhari)

• Allah’s Messenger kissed Al-Hasan ibn `Ali while Al-Aqra` ibn Habis At-Tamim was sitting with him . Al-Aqra` said, “I have ten children and have never kissed one of them.” The Prophet cast a look at him and said, “Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully.” (Al-Bukhari)

• Incident of the Quraish throwing the gut of camel on the prophet’s back and his reaction to it, when fatima was there.

7. Marry them to righteous spouses

Aboo Hurayrah quoted Allah’s Messenger as saying, “If someone proposes marriage for your daughter and you are pleased with his religious practice and his character, marry him to her. If you don’t do so, there will be great corruption and trials in the land.” (Sunan at-Tirmithee, Kitaab: Nikaah; Baab: Maa jaa’a ithaa jaa’a ahadakum man tardawna CD 1004)

• Do not delay the marriage of your children in expectation of wealth or other such worldly demands.

• Facilitate marriage for them and make it easy for them.

• Early marriage prevents them from sinning- masturbation ,fornication and keeps them chaste.

Ideal Mother- in law1. Facilitate searching a good spouse for your child

2. Do not lay conditions of future daughter in law or son in law, leave the choice your children, unless they do something haraam.

3. Do no make cumbersome demands from your daughter inlaw,.

4. Urge them to marry early and teach them to be good spouses.

5.Treat your daughter in law on same terms with your daughters.

6.Facilitate her and encourage her to complete her duties of her husband with ihsan.

6. Do not complain against her to her husband.

7. Do not lay burdensome chores upon her and expect your obedience and servitude. Both should live amicably helping one another as being relatives, without becoming commanding and demanding.

? A Patient Mother - A Woman Of Jannah ?? ? Emotional ? Sheikh Bilal Assad ? TDR ?.mp4

Reconnecting Heartz

For all those sweetheart daughters out there, ask a sincere apology for any ways you might have hurt your mother and father, knowingly or unknowingly and make firm decision to never do it again….