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Interpersonal

CommunicationDr. Martha ReavleyOdette School of Business

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Topics of Discussion Models of effective communication:

basic model and the pyramid of

mutuality Communication styles

Native tongue exercise

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The Basic Model ofCommunication

Sender message receiver channel

noise

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Pyramid of Mutuality

Mutual Respect

Mutual Meaning

Mutual PurposeSilence Violence

Withdrawing Hiding Politicking Monologuing Labeling Attacking

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Mutuality

A win-win situation that is built on a

foundation of trust

Sharing things in common Seeking for things in common:

interests

goalsvalues

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Mutual Purpose

Common goals or objectives that

are built on a foundation of trust

Something we want

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Mutual Meaning Observations, assumptions,

conclusions, and feelings that bothparties acknowledge as valid

Available Meaning: When ideas,

observations, and values areacknowledged and understood,

they become part of the available

pool of common meaning

Hidden Meaning: Through sharingmeaning we become more aware

of inconsistencies in our own

thinking

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Mutual Respect

Critical for maintaining dialogue

Both parties choose to treat each

other with dignity, decency, andconsideration, based on the

assumption that others are

reasonable, and decent

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Silence - to - Violence continuum

Dialogue

Silence

Violence

Withdrawing hiding politicking monologuing labeling attacking

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Silence Strategies

Politicking: selectively hiding andshowing meaning. We hide our

motives or withhold assumptions

Hiding: talking without revealinganything. Manipulativeconversations

Withdrawing: Pulling out ofcommunication completely. The

most severe form of silence.

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Silence Strategies exs.

At work

In school

At home

With friends

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Violence Strategies

Monologuing: Talking with thesole purpose of getting what youwant. Communication is

unidirectional.

Labeling: Turing people intocategories or things in order to get

what you want. Makes it easier to

do or say anything.

Attacking: Communicating for thesole purpose of pushing or hurting.

It includes harsh accusation,

yelling and raw invective.

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Violence strategies exs.

At work

At school

At home

With friends

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Strategies Test1. Let me see if I understand.

2. Oh yeah, you bozo.

3. If you say so.

4. Well, guarantee means a lot of things. So , I guess I could

say I guarantee.

5. I can see youre angry. Is it because we missed the

deadline?

6. Theres no time for discussion. Just do it!

7. No, I have nothing to add. I never have anything to add.

8. You bean counters always think that way.

9. I know I missed the meeting, but you guys are doing a

terrific job.

A

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Answers1. Let me see if I understand. -dialogue. Trying to understand

2. Oh yeah, you bozo. - label ing. Name call ing

3. If you say so. - H iding. Decreased meaning

4. Well, guarantee means a lot of things. So , I guess I could say I

guarantee. Politicking. Wanting to allow for different defini tion

5. I can see youre angry. Is it because we missed the

deadline? - dialogue. Trying to understand

6. Theres no time for discussion. Just do it! Monologuing

7. No, I have nothing to add. I never have anything to add. labeling

8. You bean counters always think that way. labeling

9. I know I missed the meeting, but you guys are doing a

terrific job. politicking

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Effective Communication:

A change of heart, not just a change in behaviour

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Underlying ValuesSilence Dialogue Violence

Value ControloutcomesBe right

Sharedmeaning,learning

ControloutcomesBe right

Purpose Keep ithidden

Share openly Demandyour own

Meaning Discloselittle

Share openly Force yourown

Respect Indirectstrategies

Consciouseffort

Intentionalstrategy

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3 Practice Scripts

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Native Tongue Exercise

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What This Means For Change

Make specific, personal ground rules: I will use a calmvoice when speaking to

Critique your performance: How did you violate the

rule? What went wrong?

Manage expectations: begin an interaction with someexplanations - in the past this has ended in shouting

match.

Apologize appropriately to allow dialogue to continue

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Next Steps Commit to effective communication

Understand the problems within

your group Document your progress in you

diary