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This tool is designed to practice one of the key listening skills you need to communicate effectively. Every person has their personal preferences for the way their own brain processes information. Many people “see” pictures or images, others need to “get a handle” on or need you to “walk them through”, others still prefer to “hear” what the idea “sounds like”, and others like to “understand” or make “logical” “sense” and prefer that you give them “step by step” instructions.
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I Colour I Listen Key listening skills you need to communicate effectively
Dr John Kenworthy
I Colour I Listen
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celsim.com
Action Guides are designed to provide you with simple and
straightforward steps to develop in a particular area of your leadership.
© Dr John Kenworthy – All Rights Reserved
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Copyright © 2015 Dr John Kenworthy – All Rights Reserved - www.celsim.com P a g e | 3
Contents
Purpose and Objectives ................................................................................. 4
Using this the I Colour I Listen Template ......................................................... 5
I Colour I Listen Template ............................................................................. 6
I Colour I Listen
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Purpose and Objectives This tool is designed to practice one of the key listening skills you need to
communicate effectively. Every person has their personal preferences for the way
their own brain processes information. Many people “see” pictures or images, others
need to “get a handle” on or need you to “walk them through”, others still prefer to
“hear” what the idea “sounds like”, and others like to “understand” or make “logical”
“sense” and prefer that you give them “step by step” instructions.
Your role as a leader is to have the flexibility to use the preferences of the other
person. Not forgetting, of course, that you have your own preferred processing
style… and this is usually the default mode that you use with others.
You know those times when someone (perhaps your partner) tells you something
and you simply don’t hear it? Quite often it is because you filter out words that are
not in your preferred processing style. (Oh and by the way, it’s NOT their job to use
the ‘right’ words for you, it’s your job to “tune in” to their style. And of course, it is
also your job to use their preferred predicates and not theirs to “tune in” to yours.)
If you are a visual person, the chances are that you have heard someone else reply
“I just don’t see it!” when you are explaining something… and that is true for them…
they do not “see it”. Perhaps they need to “understand”, or “hear what it sounds
like”. Oh and a few people need “the sweet smell of success” or the “taste of
victory”.
Have a conversation with someone, listen for the predicates that they use most, and
then use their predicates (processing words) instead of the ones you normally use.
Copyright © 2015 Dr John Kenworthy – All Rights Reserved - www.celsim.com P a g e | 5
Using this the I Colour I Listen Template Find someone you know well to work with on this activity to start with. When
practiced it becomes a normal part of your routine.
Take notes of VAK (Visual, Auditory, Kinaesthetic) words, Key-words or phrases
used by the other person and ignores (as much as you can) content. The
conversation should last no more than 5 minutes.
Ask open questions and practice your active listening skills - paraphrasing,
clarifying, reflecting, linking, summarising, encouraging. Commence by asking the
other person to relate a story about their last holiday (or some other significant
recent event that is personal but not too personal).
The other person responds as themselves.
After about 4 minutes, you should wrap-up the conversation appropriately.
“How do you feel about the conversation?”
“What VAK words were most used?”
One key tip to help you pay greater attention to any other person. Look them in
the eye and make a note (mental or real) of their eye colour. By the way, ‘Brown’ or
‘Blue’ is not the answer… what shade of brown? How bright? Different flecks of
colour.
This not only ensures that you make eye contact, you attune yourself to the
detail.
I Colour I Listen
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I Colour I Listen Template Name________________________
Date_________________________
Visual Auditory Digital Kinaesthetic
See Hear Sense Feel
View Sound Understand Grasp
Show Resonate Learn Hard
Reveal Question Decide Concrete
Illuminate Listen Consider Touch
Clear Rings a bell Perceive Get a grip
Focused Tune in/out Process Solid
Look Make music Change Make contact
Imagine Conceive Hold
Hazy Think Catch on
Picture Know
Appear
Key Words and Phrases How often
Eye colour
Copyright © 2015 Dr John Kenworthy – All Rights Reserved - www.celsim.com P a g e | 7
If you haven’t gone through the exercises yet, go back and do it now. Remember
that applying best practices with discipline and consistency, even if the actual steps
seem trite or obvious, is what leads to results.
Thanks so much for reading this guide – if you have any feedback or comments you
can reach me at [email protected].
Don’t settle,
John and the GAPPS team
To learn more about our
Talent Management and
Coaching programmes, visit
us at www.celsim.com
I Colour I Listen
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celsim.com
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