HWGS Full Script 2015

High Wycombe Gang Show 2015

1 www.hw-scouts.org.uk/gs/

Running Order

Act 1

1. Opening

1. Happy 2. Happy Days

2. Denver

1. Leaving On A Jet Plane 2. Annie's Song

3. Thank God I'm A Country Boy

3. Modern Man 4. Under The Sea

5. Gone Fishing 1. Gone Fishing

2. Three Little Fishes 6. Bugsy Malone

1. Bugsy Malone 2. My Name is Tallulah

3. So You Want to be a Boxer 4. Fat Sam's Grand Slam

5. You Give a Little Love

Act 2

1. Oliver

1. Food Glorious Food 2. Where Is love

3. Gotta Pick a Pocket or Two

4. I'd Do Anything 5. Consider Yourself

6. OomPahPah 2. Over The Gate

3. Take That Robbie 1. Me and My Shadow

2. Candy 3. Shine

4. Sas 5. Frog Song

6. 12 Days Of Scout Camp 7. Finale

1. Try 2. Happy Days

3. Annie's Song

4. Fat Sam's Grand Slam 5. Oompah

6. Wycombe Is Saying Goodnight

7. Crest Of A Wave



Act One

Opening Happy

It might seem crazy what I'm ‘bout to say Sunshine she's here, you can take a break I'm a - hot air balloon that could go to space

With the air, like I don't care baby by the way

Chorus Because I'm happy Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof

Because I'm happy Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth

Because I'm happy Clap along if you know what happiness is to you Because I'm happy

Clap along if you feel like that's what you wanna do

Here come bad news talking this and that Yeah Well, give me all you got, don't hold it back,

Yeah, Well, I should probably warn you I'll be just fine,

yeah, No offense to you, don't waste your time Here's why

Chorus

Happy … Bring me down, can't nothing

Happy… Bring me down. Your love is too

Happy… Bring me down, can't nothing Happy…

Bring me down. I said

Repeat then Chorus x 2

Happy … Bring me down, can't nothing

Happy… Bring me down. Your love is too

Happy… Bring me down, can't nothing Happy…

Bring me down. I said

Chorus x 2



Happy Days

Sunday, Monday, Happy Days, Tuesday, Wednesday, Happy Days, Thursday, Friday, Happy Days,

Saturday, what a day, rocking all week with you.

This day is ours, won’t you be mine (Oh Happy Days)

This day is ours, oh, please be mine (Oh Baby)

Goodbye grey skies hello blue Nothing can hold me when I hold you

Feels so right, you can’t be wrong rocking & rollin’ all week long

These days are ours, happy and free (Oh Happy Days)

These days are ours, share them with me (Oh Baby)

Hello sunshine goodbye rain she’s wearing my school ring on a chain.

She’s my steady, I’m her man I’m gonna love her all I can

Happy Days

Sunday, Monday, Happy Days, Tuesday, Wednesday, Happy Days,

Thursday, Friday, Happy Days, Saturday, what a day,

Groovin’ all week with you. These days are ours, share them with me

(Oh Happy Days) These days are ours, happy & free

(Oh Baby) Coda

These happy days are yours and mine, These happy days are yours and mine

Happy Days!



Talent Show

Denver

Leaving on a Jet Plane

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go I'm standin' here outside your door I hate to wake you up to say goodbye

But the dawn is breakin’, It's early morn

The taxi's waitin’ He's blowin' his horn Already I'm so lonesome I could cry

Chorus So kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that you'll wait for me Hold me like you'll never let me go

I'm leavin' on a jet plane Don't know when I'll be back again Oh babe, I hate to go

There's so many times I've let you down

So many times I've played around I tell you now, they don't mean a thing Ev'ry place I go, I'll think of you

Ev'ry song I sing, I'll sing for you When I come back, I'll bring your

wedding ring So kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that you'll wait for me Hold me like you'll never let me go

I'm leavin' on a jet plane Don't know when I'll be back again Oh babe, I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you

One more time, Let me kiss you Close your eyes, and I'll be on my way Dream about the days to come

When I won't have to leave alone, About the times, I won't have to say

So kiss me and smile for me Tell me that you'll wait for me Hold me like you'll never let me go

I'm leavin' on a jet plane Don't know when I'll be back again

Oh babe, I hate to go

Coda I'm leavin' on a jet plane Don't know when I'll be back again



Annie’s Song

You fill up my senses Like a night in a forest Like the mountains in springtime Like a walk in the ↓ rain Like a storm in the desert Like a sleepy blue ocean You fill up my senses Come fill me again

Come let me love you

Let me give my life to you Let me drown in your laughter Let me die in your ↑ arms

Let me lay down beside ↑ you

Let me always be with you Come let me love you Come love me again

You fill up my senses

Like a night in a forest Like the mountains in springtime Like a walk in the ↑ rain

Like a storm in the des↑ert

Like a sleepy blue ocean You fill up my senses Come fill me again



Thank God I’m a Country Boy Well life on the farm is kinda laid back

Ain't much an old country boy like me can't hack It's early to rise, early in the sack [2, 3] Thank God I'm a country boy

A simple kinda life never did me no harm

raisin' me a family and workin' on a farm My days are all filled with an easy country charm [2, 3] Thank God I'm a country boy

Chorus

Well I got me a fine wife, I got me ole fiddle When the sun's comin' up I got cakes on the griddle Life ain't nothin' but a funny funny riddle [2, 3]

Thank God I'm a country boy

When the work's all done and the sun's settin' low I pull out my fiddle and I rosin up the bow

but the kids are asleep so I keep it kinda low [2, 3] Thank God I'm a country boy

I'd play “Sally Goodin” all day if I could But the Lord and my wife wouldn't take it very good

So I fiddle when I can, and I work when I should [2, 3] Thank God I'm a country boy

[Chorus]

I wouldn't trade my life for diamonds or jewels I never was one of them money hungry fools I'd rather have my fiddle and my farmin' tools [2, 3]


Yeah, city folk drivin' in a black limousine A lotta sad people thinkin' that's mighty keen Well, folks let me tell ya now exactly what I mean [2, 3]


[Chorus] Well, my fiddle was my daddy's till the day he died

And he took me by the hand and held me close to his side He said, "Live a good life and play my fiddle with pride [2, 3]

And thank God you're a country boy My daddy taught me young how to hunt and how to whittle

He taught me how to work and play a tune on the fiddle He taught me how to love and how to give just a little [Pause]

Thank God I'm a country boy [Chorus]



Modern Man 1. I’m Modern Man. I look down on them because I’m from a more advanced society. 2. I’m Renaissance Man. I look up to him, because he on average is four inches taller than I

am, but I look down on him because he is a smelly ignorant servant. 3. I’m Medieval Man. I look up to them because I’m a smelly ignorant servant. I live in a one

room hovel made of straw and manure. 1. I live on a Taylor Wimpey Estate, so I envy him. However I do have hot and cold running

water, a car, aYamah organ, a T.V. and an iPad, although I don’t know how to work it. 2. I have cold running water, a map of the world that includes the Americas, a telescope and the

collective works of Homer in 39 weekly parts. 3. I have a pig – although I don’t know how to work it. I’m so ignorant I think the sun goes to

bed at night. 2. I think the sun revolves round the earth 1. I think the sun shines out of my trousers. 3. I work as a weaver, for that reason I’m called Mr Weaver. 2. I’m a miller so I’m called Mr Miller 1. My names Ramsbottom – so I’m called Sir. 3. I have a hard life, I’m 23 – I have one day off a year, when I get drunk and we hit each other

with a pig’s bladders on sticks, 1. I have two days off week, when I watch T.V. and go to Homebase 2. I have one day off a year when I go to church, but I must admit the pig’s bladder thing sounds

a lot more fun. 3. I’m feudal, I believe in doing what his lordship tells me. 2. I’m an optimist, I believe in progress 1. I’m New Labour, so I don’t believe in anything. 2. I encourage education, I teach my children to read 3. My children don’t have a school so they can’t read 1. My children go to comprehensive school, so they can’t read either 2 Throughout the history of Britain some things never change 3. I blame the Normans. I hate the French ‘cos they beat us in 1066 1. I hate the French because they beat us at the Stad de France at rugby in 2014 2. I just hate the French I don’t need a reason 1. All in all I think my life is better that theirs 2. I think my life is not as good as his, but better than his 3. I’m a smelly ignorant surf, but at least I don’t have to put up with pollution, global warming,

nuclear war, GM foods, stress and Carol Vordaman – whoever he is 1. Oh blows this for a lark, let’s go down the pub. 3. What about the Antelope? 2. That’s not a pub anymore it’s the Wycombe Swan 1. No I think you’ll find it’s the Handy Cross Roundabout



Under The Sea The seaweed is always greener In somebody else's lake You dream about going up there But that is a big mistake Just look at the world around you Right here on the ocean floor Such wonderful things surround you What more iz you lookin' for? Under the sea Under the sea Darling it's better Down where it's wetter Take it from me Up on the shore they work all day Out in the sun they slave away While we devotin’ Full time to floatin' Under the sea Down here all the fish is happy As off through the waves they roll The fish on the land ain't happy They sad 'cause they in their bowl But fish in the bowl is lucky They in for a worser fate One day when the boss get hungry Guess who gon' be on the plate Under the sea Under the sea Nobody beat us Fry us and eat us In fricassee We what the land folks loves to cook Under the sea we off the hook We got no troubles Life is the bubbles Under the sea Under the sea Since life is sweet here We got the beat here Naturally Even the sturgeon an' the ray They get the urge 'n' start to play

We got the spirit You got to hear it Under the sea The newt play the flute The carp play the harp The plaice play the bass And they soundin' sharp The bass play the brass The chub play the tub The fluke is the duke of soul The ray he can play The lings on the strings The trout rockin' out The blackfish she sings The smelt and the sprat They know where it's at An' oh that blowfish blow [Instrumental] [Key change] Under the sea Under the sea When the sardine Begin the beguine It's music to me What do they got? A lot of sand We got a hot crustacean band Each little clam here Know how to jam here Under the sea Each little slug here Cuttin' a rug here Under the sea Each little snail here Know how to wail here That's why it's hotter Under the water Ya we in luck here Down in the muck here Under the sea



Gone Fishin

Gone Fishin’

Verse He’s lazy, but he’s loveable We know him like a book

Anytime he can’t be found We know just where to look

Chorus GONE FISHIN’… There’s a sign upon his door

GONE FISHIN’… He ain’t workin anymore There’s his house out in the sun where he lift a row half done

He said “hoe –in ain’t no fun” He ain’t got no ambition GONE FISHIN’ …By a shady wady pool

I’m wish –in I could be that kin-da fool I’d say no work for mine

On my door I’d hang a sign GONE FISHIN’… Instead of just a wish-in

Gone fishin’… see him snoozing by a brook Gone fishin’… didn’t even bait his hook

There’s his hound dog by his side fleas are bitin’ at his hide He won’t scratch’em he’s too tired he ain’t got no ambition Gone fishin’… learnin’ fishin’ worms to swim

I’m wishin’ …he wuz me and I wuz him Wish I had a plane to fly here’s what I’d write in the sky

Gone fishin’… instead of jest a-wishin’ Gone fishin’… he don’t worry ‘bout no wars

Gone fishin’… left his wife to do the chores Cows need milkin’ in the barn but he jest don’t give a darn

…See his fishin’ pole is gone he’s on a secret mission Gone fishin’… out where peace has never died I’m wishin’… all the world was by his side

Then our guns we’d throw away grab a fishin’ pole and say “Gone fishin’” …instead of jest a –wishin’



Three Little Fishes

Down in the meadow in a little bitty pool,

swam three little fishes and a mama fishie too Swim, said the mama fishie swim if you can

And they swam and they swam all over the dam Boop boop didem dadem whaddem choo! [x3]

And they swam and they swam all over the dam

Stop, said the mama fishie, or you’ll get lost But the three little fishies didn't want to be bossed So the three little fishes went off on a spree

And they swam and they swam, right out to the sea

Boop boop didem dadem whaddem choo! [x3] And they swam and they swam, right out to the sea

Whee yelled the little fishes, Here's a lot of fun We'll swim in the sea till the day is done

So they swam and they swam, and it was a lark Till all of a sudden they met a SHARK Boop boop didem dadem whaddem choo! [x3]

Till all of a sudden they met a SHARK

Help cried the little fishes, look at the whales And quick as they could they turned on their tails And back to the pool in the meadow they swam

And they swam and they swam, back over the dam Boop boop didem dadem whaddem choo! [x3]

And they swam and they swam back over the dam



Bugsy Malone

Open to juniors singing "Bugsy Malone" - Bugsy on stage

Bugsy Malone He's a sinner candy coated

for all his friends he always seems to be alone

but they love him Bugsy Malone

City slicker he can charm you

with a smile and a style of his own Everybody loves that man Bugsy Malone

Hot headed Bugsy makes his mind up

don't mess with Bugsy or you'll wind up wishing you'd left well enough alone

He's a man, a mountain, he's a rolling stone

and will he leave you sad and lonely crying?

I couldn't say, But its known that everybody wants that man

Bugsy Malone

City slicker he can charm you with a smile and a style of his own

Everybody loves that man Bugsy Malone

Juniors leave stage

Fat Sam This is the hero of our story, Bugsy Malone- nice guy, popular with the broads.

I’m Sam – Fat Sam- on account of my physique and this ‘aint no bookstore but my place - Fat Sam’s grand slam - the best Joint in town.

Song and Dance - My Name is Tallulah - 8 dancers plus Tallulah

My Name Is Tallulah

My name is Tallulah My first rule of thumb I don't say where I'm going

Or where I'm coming from I try to leave a little reputation behind me

So if you really need to You'll know how to find me

My Name is Tallulah I live till I die

I'll take what you give me And I won't ask why

I made a lot of friends In some exotic places I don’t remember names

but I remember faces.

Lonely, you don’t have to be lonely Come and see Tallulah

We can chase your troubles away… If you’re lonely,

you don’t have to be lonely when they talk about Tallulah you know what they say

No-one south of heaven’s gonna treat you finer

Tallulah had her training in North Carolina



My name is Tallulah and soon I’ll be gone

an open invitation is the road I’ll travel on I’ll never say goodbye

because the words upset me, you may forgive my going, but you won’t forget me.

Lonely, you don’t have to be lonely

Come and see Tallulah We can chase your troubles away…

If you’re lonely, you don’t have to be lonely when they talk about Tallulah

you know what they say No-one south of heaven’s gonna treat you

finer Tallulah had her training in North Carolina

Newsflash Reports are coming in of a gangland incident involving a character known to

police as Roxy Robinson a member of alleged Mobster Fat Sam’s Group.

Fat Sam (speaking to his gang) So how do we allow this to happen Roxy was one of my best. What have you got to say for yourselves? Call yourselves hoodlums?

You’re a disgrace to your profession, a disgrace to me Fat Sam. We know who’s behind it don’t we?

All Gang Sure do boss

Fat Sam Don’t need brains to work it out do we?

All Sure don’t boss

Fat Sam So who is it??

All D d d dandy Dan Boss

Fat Sam (action of shock and disgust, falls of chair?) Don’t mention that name!

Action moves to other side of stage - Dandy Dan’s Gang

Dandy Dan Well guys thanks for your work – so far everything has gone just swell.

All Thanks Boss

Dandy Dan Fat Sam has had quite a shock, any moment he will be crawling on his knees to me. There’s only room for one Mr Big in this town and that’s me Dandy Dan. The

time has come for us to play our next card. Fat Sam and his dumb bums aren’t going to stand in our way.

Action moves Dandy Dan’s Gang jump Bugsy who is rescued by Boxer (Leroy) .

Bugsy Best punch I ever saw- you must be a boxer right

Leroy Nope

Bugsy you ever been coached

Leroy Nope

Bugsy You could be a champion- you just got yourself a manager

Song - So You Want to be a Boxer (boys plus men)

Finish with Leroy throwing one punch that flattens other Guy.



So You Want to be a Boxer

So you wanna be a boxer In the golden ring Can you punch like a south-bound freight train Tell me just one thing Can you move in a word like a humming bird's wing If you need to? Can you bob, can you weave Can you fake, and deceive when you need to? Well, you might as well quit If you haven't got it. So you wanna be a boxer can you pass the test? I can tell if you’ve got it in you I’ve trained the best When you work and you sweat and you bet that you train to a buzzsaw Then you near lose your mind when you find that your boy has a glass jaw So you might as well quit if you haven’t got it Put him in the ring Joe, look at what you found. We can use the fun Joe, pushing him around We’ll show him the ropes and destroy his hopes

Put him in the ring, Joe, give the guy a chance, let him feel the sting, Joe, we can make him dance. We’ll pulp him to bits then he’ll call it quits for sure, Joe. So you wanna be a boxer Wanna be the champ There's a golden boy inside you Not a punched-out tramp If you listen and you learn There's an honour you can earn and defend here When you do see the crown You're a king not a clown A contender But you might as well quit If you haven't got it Put him the ring, Joe, Something new to punch Let me have a swing, Joe Then we'll go to lunch We'll make it quite swift Then he'll get the drift Put him in the ring, Joe Chicken a la carte Let me have a wing, Joe Tearing him apart That chicken will crow Oh Let - me - have – him, Joe

Newsflash Latest update on the spate of hoodlum warfare. The police state that the devious weapon of foreign manufacture, officially known as the splurge gun is being widely used

Return to main stage scene for Fat Sams Grand Slam- with Charleston dance



Fat Sam’s Grand Slam

Anybody who is anybody will

soon walk through that door at Fat Sam's Grand Slam Speakeasy

Always able to find you a table

There’s room for just one more at Fat Sam’s Grand Slam speakeasy

Once you get here feel the good cheer like they say in the poem

Fat Sam's ain't humble but it's your home sweet home. Plans are made here,

games are played here I could write me a book.

Each night astounds you rumours are a-buzzin stories by the dozen

look around you cousin at the news we're making here.

Anybody who is anybody will

soon walk through that door at, Fat Sam's Grand Slam Speakeasy

To side of stage Dandy Dan With Gang

Dandy Dan Right I don’t have to tell you how important this is. This is the big one

Gang The big one

Dandy Dan the shake down

Gang The shake down

Dandy Dan the pay off

Gang the pay off

Dandy Dan it’s got to be good, it’s got to be quick, it’s got to be neat

Gang it’s got to be good, it’s got to be quick, it’s got to be neat

Dandy Dan You shouldn’t have any trouble just Fat Sam and some dance hall girls

Dan’s gang turns to full Stage

Fat Sam Okay Guys let them have it

SPLURGE FIGHT

Final Song – You Give a Little Love - all to be on stage



You Give a Little Love We could have been anything that we wanted to be And its not too late to change

I'd be delighted to give it some thought Maybe you'll agree we really ought 2-3-4...

We could have been anything that we wanted to be Yes, that decision was ours

It's been decided We're weaker divided Let friendship double up our powers

We could have been anything that we wanted to be,

And I'm not saying we should, But if we try it we'd learn to abide it

We could be the best at being …

Good guys, flowers on the earth Who can even guess how much a real friend is worth?

Good guys shake an open hand

Maybe we'll be trusting if we try to understand No doubt about it, it must be worth while

Good friends do tend to make you smile. We could have been anything that we wanted to be

Yes, that decision was ours It's been decided, we're weaker divided

Let friendship double up our powers You give a little love and it all comes back to you

la la la la la la la You know your gonna be remembered for the things that you say and do

la la la la la la la [x2]



Act Two

Oliver

Food Glorious Food

Is it worth the waiting for, If we live till eighty-four All we’ll ever get is gru-el,

Every day we say a prayer Will they change the bill of fare?

Still we get the same old gru-el. There's not a crust, not a crumb can we find

Can we beg, can we borrow or cadge, But there's nothing to stop us from

getting a thrill, when we all close our eyes and ima-gine,

Food glorious food! Hot sausage and mustard

While we're in the mood cold jelly and custard Pease pudding and saveloys

What next is the question? Rich gentlemen have it boys

IN-DI-GESTION Food glorious food

We're anxious to try it Three banquets a day

Our favourite diet Just picture a great big steak

Fried roasted or stewed Oh, food, wonderful food Marvellous food, Glorious food

Food glorious food

What is there more handsome Gulped swallowed or chewed Still worth a king's ransom

What is it we dream about? What brings on a sigh?

Piled peaches and cream about six feet high

Food glorious food Eat right through the menu Just loosen your belt

two inches and then you Work up a new appetite, in this interlude

then Food, once again food, fabulous food. GLO-RI-OUS food!

Where Is Love Where Is Love

Does it fall from skies above? Is it underneath the willow tree

That I've been dreaming of? Where is she?

Who I close my eyes to see? Will I ever know the sweet ‘hello’

That's meant for only me?

Who can say where she may hide? Must I travel far and wide? 'Til I am beside the someone who

I can mean something to ...

Where...? Where is love?



Gotta Pick A Pocket Or Two

In this life, one thing counts In the bank, large amounts

I'm afraid these don't grow on trees, You've got to pick-a-pocket or two

You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys, You've got to pick-a-pocket or two.

[BOYS]

Large amounts don't grow on trees. You've got to pick-a-pocket or two.

Why should we break our backs Stupidly paying tax?

Better get some untaxed income Better pick-a-pocket or two.

You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys You've got to pick-a-pocket or two.

[BOYS] Why should we all break our backs?

Better pick-a-pocket or two.

Robin Hood, what a crook! Gave away, what he took. Charity's fine, subscribe to mine.

Get out and pick-a-pocket or two


[BOYS] Robin Hood was far too good

You’ve got to pick-a-pocket or two. Take a tip from Bill Sikes

He can whip what he likes. I recall, he started small

He had to pick-a-pocket or two. You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys

You've got to pick-a-pocket or two.

[BOYS] We can be like old Bill Sykes

If we pick a pocket or two. Dear old gent passing by

Something nice takes his eye Everything's clear, attack the rear

Advance and pick-a-pocket or two.


[BOYS] Have no fear, attack the rear

Get in and pick-a-pocket or two. When I see someone rich,

Both my thumbs start to itch Only to find some peace of mind

I have to pick-a-pocket or two. You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys

[pause] You've got to pick-a-pocket or two.

[BOYS] Just to find some peace of mind

We have to pick-a-pocket or two!



I’d Do Anything Boys: I'd do anything, for you, dear, anything,

for you mean everything to me. I know that I'd go anywhere for your smile anywhere for your smile everywhere I'd see

Nancy: Would you climb a hill?

Boys: Anything Nancy: Wear a daffodil? Boys: Anything

Nancy: Leave me all your will? Boys: Anything

Nancy: Even fight my Bill? Boys: Wot fisticuffs?

Boys: I'd risk ev'rything, for one kiss ev'rything,

Yes I'd do anything Nancy: Anything?

Boys: Anything for you Girls: I'd do anything, For you dear anything

For you mean everything to me,

I know that I'd go anywhere for your smile anywhere, For your smile ev'rywhere I'd see

Bet: Would lace my shoe? Girls: Anything

Bet: Paint your face bright blue Girls: Anything

Bet: Catch a kangaroo? Girls: Anything Bet: Go to Timbuctoo?

Girls: And back again

Girls: I'd risk ev'rything, for one kiss ev'rything, Yes I'd do anything

Bet: Anything? Girls: Anything for you

Fagin: Would you rob a shop? All: Anything

Fagin: Would you risk the drop? All: Anything

Fagin: Though your eyes go pop All: Anything Fagin: When you come down plop?

All: Hang ev'rything, We'd risk life limb

To keep you in the swim Yes we'd do anything

Fagin: (spoken) Anything? All: Anything for you.



Oliver finishes singing Where is Love. He picks up his swagger bag and wanders

around the stage. The Artful Dodger enters stage left.

Artful Dodger walks over to Oliver. Dodger: Hello what’s your name?

Oliver: I’m Oliver Twist, I’ve come to London to make my fortune.

Dodger: Ah. I’m known as the Artful Dodger (shakes Oliver’s hand and bows). Where are

you going to stay?

Oliver: I haven’t found anywhere yet. Do you know a place?

Dodger: Well you could come and stay with me and my friends.

Oliver: Do you have a house?

Dodger: Not really. I stay with Mr. Fagin, but I’m sure he won’t mind. Oliver: Are you sure?

Dodger: I think he will be delighted. I think he will make you one of Us.

Consider Yourself Consider yourself at home Consider yourself one of the family

We've taken to you so strong It's clear we're going to get along

Consider yourself well in Consider yourself part of the furniture

There isn't a lot to spare Who cares? What-ever we’ve got we share

If it should chance to be We should see some harder days

Empty larder days, why grouse Always a chance we'll meet

Somebody to fit the bill Then the drinks are on the house

Consider yourself our mate We don't want to have no fuss

For after some consideration, we can state Consider yourself, One of us

Consider yourself at home Consider yourself one of the family

We've taken to you so strong It's clear we're going to get along

Consider yourself well in Consider yourself

Part of the furniture There isn’t a lot to spare

Who cares? What-ever we’ve got we share Nobody tries to be lah-di-dah and uppity

There's a cup o' tea for all Only it's wise to be handy wiv' a rollin pin

When the landlord comes to call Consider yourself our mate

We don't want to have no fuss For after some consideration we can state

Consider yourself [Pause] one of us.



Oompah NANCY

(spoken) All right, shut up, you lot! A bit of culture now! 'Ere we go... (sung) There's a little ditty They're singing in the city

Especially when they've been On the gin or the beer

If you've got the patience, Your own imaginations Will tell you just exactly what you want to hear...

ALL

Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! That's how it goes, Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!

Ev'ryone knows. NANCY

They all suppose what they want to suppose When they hear...oom-pah-pah!!

NANCY Pretty little Sally, Goes walking down the alley,

Displays her pretty ankles to all of the men. They could see her garters,

But not for free-and-gratis– An inch or two, and then she knows When to say ‘when!’

ALL Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!

That's how it goes, Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! Ev'ryone knows.

NANCY Whether it's hidden, or whether it shows --

It's the same...oom-pah-pah! NANCY

She was from the country, but now she's up a gum-tree -- She let a feller feed 'er, then lead 'er along

What's the good o' cryin'? She's made a bed to lie in She's glad to bring the coin in, And join in this song!

ALL Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!

That's how it goes, Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! Ev'ryone knows.

NANCY She is no longer the same blushing rose

Ever since Oom pah pah!



Over the Gate Start Front Curtain With Two Old Farmer Boys, Bill And Ben, They Have Shopping

Baskets

Bill: (looking at tin). You know Ben, things ain’t what they used to be, if they hadn’t

invented the tin opener half the world would starve to death.

Ben: Your’e right Bill, if it ain’t tinned, it’s frozen. My wife gave me fish fingers last night, it tool me five minutes to get through the skin.

Bill: You silly old fool, that weren’t skin. That were the plastic bag (both laugh). My wife went to bingo last night. God she came home in a terrible temper cause she lost

her glasses. She nagged the coat stand for five minutes before she realized it wasn’t me (both laugh).

Ben: (Curtain opens on a hedge with the gate, centre stage). (Barney walks on). Hello,

here comes old Barney. What guy, he is 93 years old and still chasing women. Trouble is, he’s forgot what for. Hello Barney, here you do look worried.

Barney: Well I am worried, Old Smithy ran over my pig this morning.

Bill: Ah, I expect he’ll replace it won’t he?

Barney: He can’t he’s not fat enough (all laugh). You just been to market?

Ben: Yes, we’ve had a good day. By the way, how’s the wife?

Barney: Wife, wife, she’s been dead this last 27 years.

Ben: That’s why we ain’t seen her around. Did you give her a good send off?

Barney: Yes, I gave her a lovely funeral, but I kept her at come for a couple of weeks

before I buried her.

Bill: What for?

Barney: Ever since we got married I’d been promised a quiet couple of weeks together and

boy we had it.

Bill: Well come on Ben, I want to get home before it gets dark.

Ben: Ah, good idea, bye bye then Barney. Do you want a hand opening the gate?

Barney: No thanks Ben. I’ve been coming this way for 50 years and I ain’t ever had a problem and have always been home on time. Expect I’ll see you tomorrow, bye

Bill, bye Ben. (exit Bill and Ben). Couple of nice young boys them. (Puts groceries down) (ad lib finds gate padlocked looks at audience with horror etched on his face.

Puts basket down climbs on top of gate, but can’t reach the basket. Uses walking stick to to hook the basket up. Smile of satisfaction. Finally climbs down the other side and rests on the gate with a sense of relief)

A Patrol Of Scouts Come On

P.L. Here’s our chance to do our good deed for the day, we’ll help this old boy over the

gate. (LIFT HIM BACK OVER THE GATE WITH MUCH PROTESTING)

That’s alright sir, all part of our Scouting Service.

BLACKOUT



Take That Robbie

Me and My Shadow Me and my shadow Strolling down the avenue Me and my shadow Not a soul to tell our troubles to And when it's twelve o'clock We climb the stair We never knock For nobody's there Just me and my shadow All alone and feelin' blue



Candy

I was there to witness Candice's inner business

She wants the boys to notice Her rainbows, and her ponies She was educated but could not count to

ten Now she got lots of different horses

By lots of different men And I say

Liberate your sons and daughters The bush is high but in the hole there's

water You can get some, when they give it Nothing sacred, but it's a living

Hey, ho, here she go

Either a little too high or a little too low With no self-esteem and vertigo 'Cause she thinks she's made of candy

Hey, ho, here she go Either a little too loud or a little too close

With a hurricane at the back of her throat She thinks she's made of candy

Ring a ring of roses Whoever gets the closest

She comes and she goes As the war of the roses

Mother was a victim Father beat the system By moving bricks to Brixton

And learning how to fix them

Liberate your sons and daughters The bush is high but in the hole there's water

As you win she’ll be the hole of a lock and if it don’t feel good what are you doing

it for? Now tell me

Hey, ho, here she go

Either a little too high or a little too low With no self-esteem and vertigo

'Cause she thinks she's made of candy Hey, ho, here she go Either a little too loud or a little too close

With a hurricane at the back of her throat She thinks she's made of candy

Liberate your sons and daughters The bush is high but in the hole there's

water As you win she'll be the hole of a lock,

And if it don't feel good What are you doing it for

What are you doing it for [x8]

Hey, ho, here she go Either a little too high or a little too low Got no self-esteem and vertigo

'Cause she thinks she's made of candy

Hey, ho, here she go Either a little too loud or a little too close

Got a hurricane in the back of her throat ‘cause She thinks she's made of candy

[Repeat]



Shine You, you're such a big star to me

You're everything I wanna be But you're stuck in a hole and I want you to get out

I don't know what there is to see But I know it's time for you to leave

We're all just pushing along Trying to figure it out, out, out.

All your anticipation pulls you down When you can have it all, you can have it

all. So come on, so come on, and get it on

I don't know what you're waiting for Your time is coming don't be late, hey hey

So come on See the light on your face

Let it shine Just let it shine…. Let it shine.

Stop

being so hard on yourself It's not good for your health I know that you can change

So clear your head and come round You only have to open your eyes

You might just get a big surprise And it may feel good and you might want to

smile, smile, smile. Oh don't you let your demons pull you

down 'Cause you can have it all, you can have it all.

So come on, so come on, and get it on

I don't know what you're waiting for Your time is coming don't be late, hey hey So come on

See the light on your face Let it shine

Just let it shine…. Let it shine.

Hey Let me know you

You're all that matters to me Hey! Let me show you

[Solo] Let me show you You're all that matters to me

[Solo] You're all that matters. So come on, so come on, and get it on

I don't know what you're waiting for Your time is coming don't be late, hey hey

So come on See the light on your face Let it shine


Hey Let me know you

You're all that matters to me Hey! Let me show you

[Solo] Let me show you You're all that matters to me

[Solo] You're all that matters. (Repeat)

See the light on your face Let it shine




SAS

All Bet you don’t know who we are We’re killers that is who

We’re really really frightening We’ll prove it –boo That’s the kind of ruthlessness you’ll find – from us

We’re unkind

All We’re the SAS yes, yes, yes We’re big and strong and brave And we look extremely threatening on the days when we don’t shave

1. We rush into building yeah

2. We don’t ask questions first – we don’t 3. We lift up Kalashnikovs and fire a rapid burst 4. This technique is effective against our enemies

1. But it makes us quiet unpopular down at Sainsbury’s

All We shout at all the shoppers ‘’get down on the floor’ 2. We grab ourselves a crunchie bar and run out of the door

3. We’re twice as terrifying, when we’ve had several gins 4. When we’re blotto what’s our motto

All Who care who wins

Were the SAS yes, yes, yes

We’re big and strong and brave And we look extremely threatening on the days when we don’t shave

1. We often cut it fine 2. Our escape is often narra

3. For some it’s the end of the line, full stop 4. New para ahahah

All We’re the SAS yes, yes, yes

And we must be on our way

We’ve job to do, that’s really tough, Where life is hard and the goings rough.

Jumping gullies, climbing rocks That’s right we’re delivering another box of Cadbury’s Milk Trey



UV FROG SONG

12 Days of Scout Camp On the first day of scout camp my mother sent to me A nice piece of fish for my tea On the second day of scout camp my mother sent to me Two rubber chickens And a nice piece of fish for my tea List of items On the ___ day of scout camp my mother sent to me 1. A nice piece of fish for my tea 2. Two rubber chickens 3. Three toilet seats 4. Four fish fingers 5. Five crusty buns 6. Six spicy sausage 7. Seven dirty billies 8. Eight umberellas 9. Nine ping pong balls 10. Ten metres of carpet 11. Eleven sombreros 12. Twelve sticky toffees



Finale

Try I've chased after rainbows

I've captured one or two I've reached for the stars I've even held a few

I've walked that lonesome valley Topped the mountains, saw the sky

I've laughed and I have cried But I have always tried

I've always been a dreamer

And dreams are special things But dreams are of no value If they're not equipped with wings

So secure yourself for climbing Make ready for the flight

Don't let your chance go by You'll make it if you try

So try to be the first one up the mountain And try to be the first to touch the sky

And try to be the one who makes a difference Try to put your fear and doubt aside

And try to make the most of every moment

'Cause if you never try you never win So try each day to try a little harder And if you fall, get up and try again

(Try and try and try) (Try and try and

try) Nothing is impossible

If you can just believe Don't live your life in shackles

When faith can be the key The winner's one who keeps determination

in his eyes Who's not afraid to fly and not afraid to try

So try to be the first one up the mountain

And try to be the first to touch the sky And try to count your blessings and keep counting

And try to soar where only eagles fly And if you fail at first just keep on trying

For you are not a failure in God's eyes The first step is the one that's always hardest

But you won't amount too much if you don't try

So spread your wings and let the magic happen

Cause you'll never really know if you don't try

(Try and try and try) [x4]

[solo] Oh I know it ain't easy

Who ever said it was? Life is hard Same as it ever was

But try, you have to try

[All] So try to be the first one up the mountain And try to be the first to touch the sky

And try to count your blessings and keep counting

And try to soar where only eagles fly And if you fail at first just keep on trying For you are not a failure in God's eyes

The first step is the one that's always hardest

But you won't amount too much if you don't try



Happy Days

Annie’s Song

Fat Sam’s Grand Slam

Oompah

Wycombe Is Saying Goodnight The show is nearly through we are tired too

Now we must go home to bed We're getting tired so we really ought to go

But not before we have all said Goodnight everybody goodnight

But before we go we'd like to say You've been a lovely audience

Thanks alot for being here

We hope you come along next year Then we will see you again Won't that be a lovely sight,

But as we said we've got to go to bed So Wycombe is saying good night

Crest of a Wave We're riding along on the crest of a wave And the sun is in the sky. All our eyes on the distant horizon Look out for passers by. We'll do the hailing When other ships are round us sailing. We're riding along on the crest of a wave And the world is ours [Whispered] We're riding along on the crest of a wave And the sun is in the sky. All our eyes on the distant horizon Look out for passers by. We'll do the hailing While other ships around are sailing. We're riding along on the crest of a wave And the world is ours

Documents

HWGS Full Script 2015