MERA DRIVER MAHAAN

I started my day the usual

way in Colombo, got up, went for a swim,

feeling awesome and awake, was dead on

water for a while, basked in the dawn and went

home. My mind started rushing to the day’s

agenda: need to get ready, do my work, come

home, have fun with folks and bid the day

goodbye. The company had given a white

Toyota corolla with automatic gears and left

hand drive, wow, I felt a handicap at times.

However, since there was a driver, I did not

have much to worry.

I sat in the car and my driver told me few new

Hindi words he had learnt (Somehow he was

hell bent to learn the language I spoke).

Admiring his efforts, I gave him a pat on the

back and asked him to drive to work.

He took 45 minutes to park at office( good

timing considering we were only 5 kms. away

from work, however my colleague’s drivers took

more time than that for covering the same

distance.

I dared not comment on my driver’s slow speed

since last time I did something like that I was

almost killed ( the guy converted to an F1 kinds

for few hours). I can’t remember how many

times I prayed in those few hours. Anyway back

to the present, I got dropped off the car and

told my driver to go home. My daughter was

waiting to be dropped to school so the car had

to do that.

My day began uneventful, usual cup of tea, few

minutes of gossip, reading emails…and suddenly

my wife’s call comes. I was in the middle of

something so chose to ignore it for one.

However, the calls came by the second and I got

worried. I picked her call and waited uncertainly

with some news I may not want to listen (like

there is no water in the swimming pool, the

shops are closed today so how will they spend

time). She just asked me one question: Why did

you forget to send the car back? Did I not know

that our daughter was to be dropped to school?

I could not make any sense of this acquisition so

rewinded my memory a few notches……hey I

had sent the driver and car home..Those were

very specific and clear instructions so what

happened. I got more worried about the driver’s

plight than my daughter missing school. Maybe

there was an accident, hope he was not

severely wounded, no one called me to report

anything……my wife was still complaining and I

was in some other world.

I politely asked my wife to put the phone down

and let me investigate what happened ( also

telling her to take a taxi to school since the

whereabouts of the car are not known as of

now).

So the chase for my car and driver started, what

a thing to investigate while a hundred

customers are trying to run me down. First

things first, I borrowed my colleague’s car and

did a travel back on the same route that we

took in the morning. No sight of the car or the

guy, no indication of an accident as well.

Next step, visit the police stations and ask for

any mishaps in the last few hours: no luck here

as well, infact a few thought that I have hit

someone and am reporting an incident, phew it

was scary. Not to mention, I had dialed my

driver’s number a 100 times and all the time

heard the usual announcement (you know what

I mean).

My mind was sometimes running at Gigahertz

speed and sometime becoming completely

blank. Should I send someone to my driver’s

house? If they don’t have his whereabouts then

they will ask about him and what will I say….etc

etc….etc…more etc….! However, I managed to

convince my guts and called his agency. I briefly

told them that my driver’s number is

unreachable for the last 2 hours so can they

inquire from his family if they have heard from

him. The agency manager started palpitating

rather than helping me out.

He started asking me if I have been rough on

the guy, did he go back in anger etc etc….hello..I

was wondering who should be on the receiving

end actually ? Anyhow, with no hopes from

anyone, I asked my borrowed driver if he knew

where mine lives. Of course he said, he can take

me to his house in 90mins flat. Wow, what a

day this was turning out to be.

I gave a Rs 500 note to this guy and asked him

to drop me to office and then go to my driver’s

house. My temp driver didn’t ask any further

questions.

I got dropped at the office and tried to

concentrate on my work. Suddenly I found

myself blankly staring at the screen and not

paying attention to the emails. I was just ping

ponging between the email contents and

thoughts about my driver. It was already an

hour since the other driver had left so within an

hour I was expecting something (or not

expecting to know what’s happened).

Knowing I cannot concentrate on work, I went

on the office rooftop for some fresh air: and I

found two of my colleagues smoking there:

these guys were the ones who ferociously

preached the dangers of smoking to the office

and in the last so many months I never knew

they were smokers themselves.

So before I could say anything (actually I was

going to say nothing), one of them said, Rishi

don’t talk about our smoking anywhere else,

family will create a major situation. Oh so I

realized that these poor souls are a couple in

million who have sworn to their wives on the

honeymoon night of leaving all vices (smoking,

drinking, feasting eyes on other gorgeous

women). So I settled their concerns with the

wave of my hand, though I knew that very

moment that these folks will never invite me to

their house unless I self invited myself.

Avoidance is another behavior hard to

understand.

Anyhow, I was watching the people and traffic

down below and thoughts returned to my driver.

It was close to two hours since the guy had

driven off so I should hear something back soon.

I stayed at the rooftop for 45 minutes just being

blank (was like meditating on a railway station

platform). Lot of time had passed so I called the

driver who was on way to my driver’s house. He

picked up the phone after 5 attempts and about

100 rings: each element of delay made me

nervous. On picking the phone he said: saar, I

am closer to house of his, I am eating, long

driver saar, I getting hungry. Hands dirty did not

pick your call saar. Now, I could imagine this guy

eating his heart out with the Rs 500 I gave him

while I was not feeling like eating at all, though I

was famished. Nonetheless, I asked the guy how

far is he from my driver’s house to which he

said: saar, place changed here, I have to asking

place, saar, I think one hour or two hour I will

come to his house. Wonderful I thought.

I put the phone down and started surfing the

web for nothing in particular. In between my

wife called twice, I spoke to her once to know If

she could manage to drop our daughter home

and the second time she was also as concerned

about the driver as I was so we exchanged notes

of comfort and BHAGWAAN SAB THEEK

KAREGA phrase.

While I put the phone down after speaking to

my wife for the third time, my handset started

ringing again. I picked it up casually and kept

staring at the screen as if something hard had

hit me. Flashing on the screen was my driver’s

name, number and photograph ( he had insisted

me to carry his photo on the phone alongside

his number). I picked the call immediately and

he said: Saab, aap call karti rahe mujhe ? It took

me a minute to first be sure that the guy is

calling himself, I recognized his accent and urge

to speak in Hindi.

The next statement was mine, Raja where are

you to which I got his reply: Saab, aap mujhe

ghar bhej diye aur mujhe khushi ho gaya. Aapko

office drop karke mein apne home ko aa gaya.

Mera wife bohot khush ho gaya main aaj jaldi

ghar aaya. I was dumfounded, dumbstruck,

dumb assed, dumb kicked…whatever word can

one thing of insanity and dumbness. I closed my

eyes for 10 seconds and thought about what I

had last said to Raja. My words were : GO

HOME…, whose home was the missing

piece ??? I well understood now that my

innocent fellow had interpreted GO HOME as

GO BACK TO HIS OWN HOME??? The guy must

have been overjoyed for a chance to enjoy a

noon honeymoon at home. And now he was

afraid that I may be calling to ask him to return.

And I was also sure that during his honeymoon

venture, he would have kept the phone off and I

was not able to reach him for the last so many

hours.

Next, I politely asked him, Raja, phone off tha ?

He said, saab long drive karke ghar aaya toh

patta nahin battery finish ho gaya hota. Maine

check karna to dekha phone off hua.

I was in such a situation that could not even

decide what to say to him. So I asked him to just

keep doing what he was busy with and come on

time tomorrow morning. However, I started

telling myself to be sure of saying : GO TO MY

HOME ND DROP BABY TO SCHOOL AND THEN

COME BACK TO MY OFFICE: to my driver

everyday in the morning. I was half smiling now

on the episode went by when again my phone

rang : Saar, I reach your driver house, he is not

home saar, no one home, house locked inside. I

was about to shout at the guy that if the house

is locked from inside then how come no one is

home. But I decided to let go, was jut relieved

that my driver was ok and the other one was on

his way back.

I called up my wife, told her the episode and we

enjoyed a laugh mixed with embarrassment. It

was four in the evening and my mind was no-

where close to settling down for attending work.

Around 5PM I decided to pack-up for the day

and leave for home, and had to driver myself,

no qualms about it. It took me a while to

maneuver the traffic and reach our apartment,

went up, hugged my family, exchanged glances

with my wife before we burst our laughing and

our daughter had a perplexed and confused

expression watching our behavior. By the way,

on the way back the other driver lost his wallet

and was wailing so loud on the phone that I

promised him another Rs 500 to make up for his

losses.

The next day was a Saturday and in the morning

my driver called me at 8AM: Saar, mujko temple

mein jaane ka ho sakta hai. Aaj mein prayer

karungi..aap bahut acche ho..madam and baby.

In a way, he was telling me that today he will

not surface before he is going for prayers and

will ask for our well being and we are very nice

people. I did not know what to contest, his

going to prayers, praying for us or we are nice

people? He had caught me in a web of nowhere

to hide so I just blurted one work:OK: and he

also didn’t waste a minute in disconnecting the

phone, lest I change my mind.

So this was going to be a Saturday of self driving.

Trust me, it becomes nightmarish sometimes

and destiny had already planned a

daymare(nightmare in the day) for me or infact

us.