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© 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved
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ChapterChapterChapterChapter
McGraw-Hill/Irwin
Dealing Dealing with with
ConflictConflict
77
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Interpersonal DynamicsInterpersonal Dynamics
Interpersonal dynamics – are the give and take behavior between people during human relations
Interpersonal dynamics grow increasingly complex as more people interact
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Key Topics of Interpersonal Key Topics of Interpersonal DynamicsDynamics
Transactional Analysis
Assertiveness
Conflict Management
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Transactional Analysis (TA) Transactional Analysis (TA)
Method for determining how people interactWhen we interact, behavior can be:
passiveaggressiveassertive
Performance is greater with this behavior
TA is a method of understanding behavior in interpersonal dynamics
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TA: TA: Ego StatesEgo States
Major ego states that affect our behavior or the way we transact through communication:Parent Ego State (P)
Critical parentSympathetic parent
Child Ego State (C)Natural childAdapted child
Adult Ego State (A)
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TA: TA: Types of TransactionsTypes of Transactions
Within ego states there are three different types of transactions:Complementary TransactionsCrossed TransactionsUlterior Transactions
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Complementary Transactions Complementary Transactions
Occur when the sender of the message gets the intended response from the receiver
Generally result in more effective communication
Supervisor
P
A
C
P
A
C
Employee
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Crossed Transactions Crossed Transactions
Occur when the sender of a message does not get the expected response from the receiver
These result in surprise, disappointment, and hurt feelings for the sender of the message
P
A
C
P
A
C
Supervisor Employee
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Ulterior Transactions Ulterior Transactions
Occur when the words seem to be coming from one ego state, but in reality the words or behaviors are coming from anotherSometimes when people don’t know what they
want or how to ask for it in a direct way, they resort to ulterior transactions
Best to avoid ulterior transactions because they tend to waste time
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TA:TA: Life PositionsLife Positions
I’m OK –You’re not OK
I’m OK –You’re OK
I’m not OK –You’re not OK
I’m not OK –You’re OK
Negative Positive
Attitude toward Others
Atti
tude
tow
ard
One
self
Negative
Positive
Exhibit 7.1
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TA: TA: StrokingStroking
Stroking – any behavior that implies recognition of another’s presencePositive – make people feel good about
themselvesNegative – can hurt people in some way
Giving praise (positive stroking) is a powerful motivation technique
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Assertiveness Assertiveness
The process of expressing thoughts and feelings while asking for what one wants in an appropriate way
Present your message without falling into the traps of being:“too pushy” (aggressive)“not tough enough” (nonassertive-passive)
Is becoming more global
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Behaviors when dealing with a Behaviors when dealing with a diversity of people: diversity of people:
PassiveBehavior
AggressiveBehavior
Passive-AggressiveBehavior
AssertiveBehavior
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Passive, Assertive, and Aggressive Passive, Assertive, and Aggressive Speakers: Speakers:
Passive speakers: Use self-limiting qualifying expressions without stating their position / needs
Assertive speakers: State their position / needs without violating the rights of others
Aggressive speakers: State their position / needs while violating the rights of others using “you-messages” and absolutes
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Assertive Behavior Assertive Behavior
Generally the most productive behaviorUsually the most effective method of getting
what you want while not taking advantage of others
Being assertive can create a win-win situation
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Assertiveness Steps Assertiveness Steps
Step 1. Set an Objective:Specify what you want to accomplish
Step 2. Determine how to create a win-win situation:Assess the situation in terms of meeting your
needs and the other person’s needsStep 3. Develop an assertive phrase(s)Step 4. Implement your plan persistently
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Anger and Violence in the Anger and Violence in the Workplace Workplace
Human resources managers have reported increased violence between employeesWomen commit nearly 25 percent of all threats or
attacksViolence between outsiders and employees
is increasing1 million workers are assaulted every yearAnger can lead to violence
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Causes of Anger and Violence Causes of Anger and Violence
Intrapersonal causes:e.g., frustration, stress, and fear
Interpersonal unresolved conflictsPhysical work environment:
e.g., space to work, noise, odors, temperature, ventilation, and color
Hostile work environment
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Dealing with Your Anger Dealing with Your Anger
Use rational thinkingLook for positivesLook for the humor in the situation to help
defuse the angerUse assertive behaviorDevelop a positive attitude about how you
deal with angerUse an anger journal
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Dealing with Anger of Others Dealing with Anger of Others (1 of 2) (1 of 2)
Never make any type of putdown statementDon’t respond to anger and threats with the
same behaviorDon’t give orders or ultimatumsWatch your nonverbal communication
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Dealing with Anger of Others Dealing with Anger of Others (2 of 2)(2 of 2)
Realize that anger is natural and encourage people to vent in appropriate ways
Acknowledge the person’s feelingsGet away from the person if necessary
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Signs of Potential Violence Signs of Potential Violence
Take verbal threats seriously
Watch nonverbal communication
Watch for stalking and harassment
Watch for damage to property
• Watch for indications of alcohol and drug use
• Include the isolated employee
• Look for the presence of weapons or objects that might be used as weapons
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Organizational Prevention of Organizational Prevention of ViolenceViolence (1 of 2)(1 of 2)
Train all employees to deal with anger and prevent violenceA written policy addressing workplace violenceBest preventive policy is a zero-tolerance policy
Quick disciplinary action against employees who are violent at work
Managers need to avoid using aggression at work
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Organizational Prevention of Organizational Prevention of ViolenceViolence (2 of 2)(2 of 2)
Organizations can screen job applicants for past or potential violence
Develop a good work environment that addresses the issues as causes of violence
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Individual Prevention of ViolenceIndividual Prevention of Violence
Look for escalating frustration and anger to defuse the situation before it becomes violent
Never be alone with a potentially violent personNever stand between the person and the exitKnow when to get away from the person
Be aware of the organization’s policy for calling in security help
Report any troubling incidents to security staff
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Conflict Conflict
Exists whenever two or more parties are in disagreement
Is inherent in an organizational systemCan increase as the workforce becomes
more diverseDealing with it is part of emotional
intelligence
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Reasons for Conflict Reasons for Conflict
Communications problems or conflicts arise for three primary reasons:
1. We fail to make our expectations known to other parties
2. We fail to find out the expectations of other parties
3. We assume that the other parties have the same expectations that we have
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Conflict Has Benefits Conflict Has Benefits Conflict can be beneficialA balance of conflict is essential to all
organizationsToo little or too much conflict is usually
considered a sign of management’s unwillingness or inability to adapt to a diversified environment
Conflict can lead to improved performance, for example:Challenging present methodsPresenting innovative change
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Conflict Management Styles Conflict Management Styles
Exhibit 7.4
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Summary of Conflict Management Summary of Conflict Management Styles Styles
Forcing Conflict Style: User attempts to resolve conflict by using aggressive behavior
Avoiding Conflict Style: User attempts to passively ignore the conflict rather than resolve it
Accommodating Conflict Style:
User attempts to resolve conflict by passively giving in to the other party
Compromising Conflict Style:
User attempts to resolve the conflict through assertive give-and-take concessions
Collaborating Conflict Style:
User assertively attempts to jointly resolve the conflict with the best solution agreeable to all parties.The problem-solving style
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Roles in Conflict Resolution Roles in Conflict Resolution
Initiator
Responder
Mediator
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InitiatingInitiating Conflict Resolution Conflict Resolution
Step 1. Plan to maintain ownership of the problem using the XYZ model
Step 2. Implement your plan persistently
Step 3. Make an agreement for change
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The The XYZ ModelXYZ Model
The XYZ model describes a problem in terms of behavior, consequences, and feelings:
“When you do X (behavior),
Y (consequences) happens,
and I have Z (feelings).”
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RespondingResponding to Conflict Resolution to Conflict Resolution
Step 1. Listen to and paraphrase the problem using the XYZ model
Step 2. Agree with some aspect of the complaint
Step 3. Ask for, and / or give, alternative solutions
Step 4. Make an agreement for change
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MediatingMediating Conflict Resolution Conflict Resolution
Step 1. Have each party state his or her complaint using the XYZ model
Step 2. Agree on the problem(s)
Step 3. Develop alternative solutions
Step 4. Make an agreement for change and follow up
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Interpersonal Dynamics StylesInterpersonal Dynamics Styles
Exhibit 7.6
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Your Personality and Interpersonal Your Personality and Interpersonal Dynamics Dynamics (1 of 3)(1 of 3)
People with the same personality type tend to get along better and have less conflict than those with different personality types
If you have a high surgency personality –watch your use of the critical parent ego statebe sure to give lots of positive strokes to help
human relationsbe careful not to use aggressive behavior to get
what you want
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Your Personality and Interpersonal Your Personality and Interpersonal Dynamics Dynamics (2 of 3)(2 of 3)
If you have a high agreeableness personality,you tend to get along well with othersbe careful not to use the sympathetic parent ego
statewatch the appropriate use of the child ego state
Adjustment – is about how well you deal with your emotionsespecially anger
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Your Personality and Interpersonal Your Personality and Interpersonal Dynamics Dynamics (3 of 3)(3 of 3)
There is a relationship between adjustment and openness to experienceIf you are not well adjusted, you are probably not
open to experienceIf you are a high conscientious personality,
you can still transact from the parent or child ego state