1 November 1999: Issue 1155

: ' 1 busies

on

Fight clubs force Union shut-down A N D R E W OFOR I

S tudents in D B s o n W e d n e s d a y 2 0

O c t o b e r w e r e s u b j e c t e d to p a r t i c -

u lar l y l ively f o r m of e n t e r t a i n m e n t

as a b r a w l o n the s t a g e c l o s e d the

U n i o n early.

A p a c k e d v e n u e d e s c e n d e d

in to a n a r c h y as s p o r t s t e a m s

c l a s h e d . T h e l i c e n s e e s t o o k the

d e c i s i o n to c l o s e the U n i o n at

1 2 . 4 5 a m as the s i t u a t i o n b e c a m e

u n s a f e . The s t ewa rds du l y r e s t o r e d

a f r a g i l e c a l m a n d the U n i o n w a s

c l e a r e d .

T h e f i gh t b r o k e o u t w h e n

p u s h i n g a n d s h o v i n g b e t w e e n

spor t s t e a m s led to t e m p e r s f l a r i ng

o n s t age . T h e first un fo r t una t e

w a s a p e a c e m a k e r , w h o w a s struck

as he t r i ed to d e f u s e the s i t ua t i on

l e a d i n g to t w o s p o r t s m e n tu s s l i ng .

S t ewa rds spl i t up the p a i r on l y f o r

the f ight to e s c a l a t e to a n a l t e r c a -

t i o n b e t w e e n r o w e r s a n d f o o t -

b a l l e r s .

T h e s i t u a t i o n e r u p t e d o n c e

a g a i n o u t s i d e the U n i o n a n d c o l -

l e g e secur i ty we re c a l l e d to d e a l

w i th the i n c i d e n t . O n e s p o r t s m a n

e n d e d the n igh t with a b r o k e n

n o s e p r e c l u d i n g h i m f r o m a l l his

t e a m ' s m a t c h e s s i nce the event . A

f o o t b a l l e r c o m m e n t e d " T h e w h o l e

t h i n g was a d i s g r a c e . "

A n o t h e r s p o r t s m a n a d d e d , "I

d idn ' t k n o w w h a t w a s g o i n g o n , it

a l l just b l ew up . A l l I d i d w a s try to

s t o p my m a t e d e c k i n g s o m e

b l o k e "

M a r k H o m e , the Ents a n d

M a r k e t i n g M a n a g e r felt the I C U

s t e w a r d s h a d f o l l o w e d p r o d u r e

a n d re fu ted c l a i m s that s o m e i n d i -

v i d u a l s h a d b e e n t rea ted ha rsh l y

" S t e w a r d s a r e the r e f o r p e o p l e ' s

safety a n d o c c a s i o n a l l y tha t m e a n s

b r e a k i n g u p a f i g h t "

H e w e n t o n to say " I t 's a

s h a m e ; b e c a u s e of a s m a l l g r o u p

of p e o p l e w e h a d to shut the n ight

d o w n , but w e h a d to g i ve c o n s i d -

e r a t i o n t o p e o p l e in t he r e . I h o p e it

w o n ' t be r e p e a t e d . "

The ma t t e r is cur rent l y b e i n g

dea l t with by the l i c ensees . A

n u m b e r of p e o p l e h a v e b e e n t e m -

p o r a r i l y b a n n e d f r o m the U n i o n as

a n i n v e s t i g a t i o n in to the i n c i d e n t is

c a r r i e d ou t .

Contractor cock-up causes costly computer chaos

GARETH M O R G A N

S u b s t a n t i a l d a m a g e w a s c a u s e d

to the D e p a r t m e n t o f C o m p u t i n g ' s

new c o m p u t e r l a b by a f l o o d last

w e e k e n d .

B u i l d e r s w o r k i n g o n the M a t h s

l i b r a r y in the H u x l e y b u i l d i n g

n e e d e d to r e m o v e a n d r e p l a c e a

w a t e r p i p e , s o f r o z e it w h i l e they

w o r k e d . U n f o r t u n a t e l y the p i p e

c o n t a i n e d ho t w a t e r w h i c h m e l t e d

the i c e , a n d a l a r g e v o l u m e of

w a t e r e s c a p e d b e f o r e it c o u l d b e

t u r n e d off.

S t u d i o B, w h i c h o n l y o p e n e d

at the e n d of S e p t e m b e r , s u f f e r ed

m o s t o f the d a m a g e - " A d i s a s t e r "

a c c o r d i n g to D e p u t y D e p a r t m e n -

tal A d m i n i s t r a t o r A n n e O ' N e i l l , as

this is D O C ' s m a i n t e a c h i n g l a b .

Roofing looking decidedly soggy

Lab 2 0 6 , a n o t h e r t e a c h i n g l a b o -

ratory , w a s a l s o d a m a g e d . T h e r e

Photo: Joel

a re a l s o repor t s o f d a m a g e to

l o w e r l eve l s , a l t h o u g h this h a d not

b e e n c o n f i r m e d as Fel ix wen t to

p ress .

B u i l d i n g c o n t r a c t o r s A B B a re

cur ren t l y a s s e s s i n g the d a m a g e ,

but Peter S c h r e i b e r , Pro jects C o -

o r d i n a t o r in the Estates d i v i s i o n

w a s u n f o r t u n a t e l y no t a v a i l a b l e to

c o m m e n t .

R e m e d i a l a c t i o n has s e e n a

n u m b e r o f i n d u s t r i a l hea te r s d r a f t -

ed in to s p e e d up the d r y i n g

p r o c e s s , w h i l e a n u m b e r o f the

c o m p u t e r s h a v e b e e n p r o t e c t e d .

O n e b e m u s e d D O C s tuden t

s a i d "I w o n d e r w h a t the h e l p d e s k

w o u l d h a v e s a i d if I h a d r a n g up

a n d c o m p l a i n e d tha t my m o t h e r -

b o a r d w a s s q u l e c h i n g . "

The extent of the d a m a g e a n d

the p o s s i b l e r e p a i r b i l l c o u l d be

h u g e .

2 s x

The Notional Union of Students -

o n t o

H I i

Buying beau: we investi-

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l l l n i o n

Ji jhi i O' 1 • 'i 1 1 1 1 i' • - communi-

cation: front.

Columns

week's

the directors of the Wi tch Pr

S ill • V ^ i '

G l i d i n g , moun ta inee r ing a n d

Rad io d r o p by to soy " h i " .

We ' re

Commemoration Day '99 DAVID ROBERTS

C o m m e m o r a t i o n D a y p a s s e d off

o n c e a g a i n without any real note ,

save the a n n u a l invas ion of ex-stu-

dents in strange outfits c l o g g i n g up

the c a m p u s last Wednesday .

The g r a d u a t i o n ceremony , wh i ch

c o m m e m o r a t e s the visit of K i n g

G e o r g e VI a n d Q u e e n El izabeth in

1 9 4 8 to ce lebrate the centenary of

the Roya l S c h o o l of Chemis t r y ,

p a s sed off wi thout a hitch, a n d was if

anyth ing slightly shorter than last

year ' s p r o g r a m m e . As well as the

1 3 0 0 o r so graduates w h o were

p a r a d e d in front of the C h a i r m a n of

G o v e n o r s , the a f te rnoon a l s o i n c l ud-

ed the presentat ion of four new H o n -

orary C o l l e g e Fe l lows, a n d the c o m -

m e m o r a t i o n of the fiftieth anniversary

of the f o u n d a t i o n of the C o l l e g e

Cho i r .

The day cu lm ina t ed with the

C o m m e m o r a t i o n Ba l l , o rgan i s ed for

This year's graduate await their fifteen minutes of fame Photo: Jonas

the g r a d u a t e s by the U n i o n .

A l t h o u g h this t oo passed without any

notab le inc ident it c o u l d prove m e m -

orab l e in future years as the last ever

Ball of it's type. A t h o r o u g h review is

cur rent l y u n d e r w a y to e x a m i n e

whether the U n i o n c a n truly support

both this event a n d the S u m m e r Ball

(for more detai ls see this week ' s State

of the U n i o n o n p a g e 9).

In Brief C H A R I N G C R O S S SALE

Ru m ou r s have b e e n f lying r o u n d the

o f f i ce ' of U n i o n hacks al l week

r e g a r d i n g a poss ib l e shake up at

C h a r i n g C r o s s l ibrary.

A l t h o u g h no th ing conc re te has

b e e n sa id the of f ic ia l l ine is that the

a d m i n i s t r a t i o n a r e " r e v i e w i n g

s p a c e " with a poss ib l e v iew to m o v -

ing two f loors of journa ls a n d p e r i -

o d i c a l s d o w n to the b a s e m e n t of the

m a i n b u i l d i n g into the s p a c e that is

current ly o c c u p i e d by the U n i o n .

Pr imary C a r e w o u l d most l ikely

t ake ove r the s p a c e left.

N a t a s h a N e w t o n , U n i o n Presi-

dent , a n d Becky E n g l a n d , I C S M S U

President , a re p l a n n i n g to meet with

the adm in i s t r a t i on at C h a r i n g X o n

the 2 9 t h to get a better i d e a of what

is h a p p e n i n g .

It is un l ike ly that e i ther St M a r y ' s

o r C h e l s e a a n d W e s t m i n s t e r ' s

l ibrarys wi l l b e sub jec ted to s im i l a r

rev iews.

WAIVERS WAR

A c c o r d i n g to the A U T last M o n d a y

was a W O W day. It formed part of

the c a m p a i g n aga in s t university staff

hav ing to rout ine ly s ign away their

e m p l o y m e n t rights. The W i p e O u t

Wa i v e r s day c o i n c i d e d with the

re lease of the E m p l o y m e n t Re lat ions

A c t 1 9 9 9 . The A U T have n o w

p u s h e d for current wa ivers s i gned

by staff to be r e v o k e d . The g e n e r a l

secretary of the A s s o c i a t i o n c o m -

men ted "This is a n issue of fa i rness .

N o staff in H i g h e r E d u c a t i o n s h o u l d

ever be o b l i g e d to s igh away their

e m p l o y m e n t r ights . "

C & G U N IGHT B O M B S

Ci ty & G u i l d s U n i o n he ld the i r

t h e m e d Star W a r s night last Fr iday

in the J C R . It w a s i n t e n d e d to

rep l a ce last yea r ' s b o a t party w h i c h

f l o p p e d in s p e c t a c u l a r fashion. The

e n g i n e e r s o r g a n i s e d a c a s i n o ,

d i s c o , ba r a n d a b i g sc reen p l a y i ng

the entire series of Lucas ' s p a c e

o p e r a . Desp i te a n impress ive poster

c a m p a i g n f e a t u r i n g T a r a n t i n o -

e s q u e m i s q u o t e s the event was

repor ted to have f l o p p e d with on l y

3 5 - 4 0 p e o p l e t u r n i n g u p . The

C & G U Pres ident , D i n e s h G a n e -

sa r a j ah , admi t t ed the event h a d

m a d e a loss of £ 3 6 6 , a n d c o u l d

offer n o exp l an a t i o n for the l ow

turnout . H e d i d not think the £5

ticket pr ice o r the h igh m a l e - f e m a l e

rat io in G u i l d s w a s to b l a m e a n d

a d d e d that the p e o p l e p resen t

s e e m e d to have en j o ye d the night.

" W e m a y have suf fered a m i n o r

se tback , but it is hard ly s ign i f i cant in

v iew of C & G U ' s largest venture this

t e rm , the Freshers D i n n e r " c o m -

m e n t e d Mr . G a n e s a r a j a h . " Th i s

event has a s t rong reputa t ion a n d is

a perfect i n t roduc t i on to this U n i o n .

I a m c o n f i d e n t we wil l not see a

repea t o f the Stars W a r s n ight a n d

the pre-sa le b o o k i n g s a re g iv ing

ea r l y i n d i c a t i o n of yet a n o t h e r

s t o r m i n g n igh t . "

A C C E S S T O W O R K

The restr ict ions o n in te rna t iona l s tu-

dents w o r k i n g wh i l e s tudy ing in the

U K have b e e n e a s e d . O v e r s e a s

students w h o are not na t iona l s of

the E u r o p e a n E c o n o m i c A r e a a re

no l o n g e r r equ i r ed to ind iv idua l l y

o b t a i n the p e r m i s s i o n of the Sec re-

tary of State fo r E d u c a t i o n a n d

E m p l o y m e n t .

T h e a s s e s s m e n t o f s tuden t s '

f i n a n c i a l m e a n s by U K i m m i g r a t i o n

has a l so b e e n a l t e r ed . Part-time

work at a h ighe r o r further e d u c a -

t ion institute is not t aken into c o n -

s ide ra t i on

1 s 3

Nobel Peace Prizewinner launches lecture series

CARSTEN ROHR

W h a t w o u l d you d o if s o m e o n e

a s ke d you to bu i ld a n u c l e a r b o m b ?

This is not a ques t i on that m a n y

of us are l ikely to cons ide r , but last

M o n d a y , N o b e l l au rea te Sir J o s e p h

Rotblat sha r ed his t hough t s , e x p e r i -

ences a n d mot i va t i on fo r e m b a r k -

ing a n d s u b s e q u e n t l y r e s i g n i n g

f r om the a t o m i c b o m b pro jec t d u r -

ing the S e c o n d W o r l d War .

Born in 1 9 0 8 , Sir J o s e p h spent

his first thirty years in P o l a n d be fo re

m o v i n g to L i ve rpoo l to work o n

n e u t r o n s c a t t e r i n g u n d e r J a m e s

C h a d w i c k . D u r i n g his t ime at Liver-

p o o l a n d a l m o s t s i m u l t a n e o u s l y

with o t h e r g r o u p s , S i r J o s e p h

d e d u c e d the c h a i n - r e a c t i o n f o r

n u c l e a r f i ss ion a n d b e c a m e a w a r e

of the e n o r m o u s quant i ty of ene rgy

that c o u l d be r e l e a s e d . H e s p o k e

with C h a d w i c k o v e r the poten t i a l

uses of such a n energy s o u r c e a n d

a g r e e d that it c o u l d b e c o m e a

potent ia l l y devas t a t i ng w e a p o n .

Short ly after Sir J o seph ' s d i s c o v -

ery, w a r b r o k e ou t in E u r o p e .

A t o m i c scientists in the U S A wrote to

Pres ident Rooseve l t , w a r n i n g of the

d a n g e r s p o s e d by a G e r m a n a t o m -

ic w e a p o n a n d u rg ing h im to funne l

r e s e a r c h in to m a k i n g a n a l l i e d

a t o m i c b o m b . Rooseve l t g a v e his

c o n s e n t to the pro ject , c o d e - n a m e d

the " M a n h a t t a n Pro jec t " , o n e day

be fo re the Pearl H a r b o u r b o m b i n g .

U n d e r the d i rec t ion of Robert J

O p p e n h e i m e r , the p ro j e c t w a s

b a s e d at Los A l a m o s , N e w M e x i c o

a n d c a l l e d a l m o s t every t op- rank ing

a l l i ed scientist to its c a u s e .

Sir J o s e p h a g r e e d with the p r o -

ject 's m o t i v a t i o n , that it was vital

that the a l l ies d e v e l o p a n a t o m i c

w e a p o n be fo re the N a z i s , to sa fe-

g u a r d d e m o c r a c y aga in s t the worst

k ind of to ta l i t a r i an i sm. Howeve r ,

w h e n in te l l igence sources r evea l ed

that the G e r m a n project was f l o u n -

d e r i n g , the mot i va t ion to bu i ld the

b o m b c h a n g e d a n d Sir J o s e p h t o o k

the u n p o p u l a r d e c i s i o n to res ign .

H is c o l l e a g u e s pre fer red to stay

until the first test h a d been c o m p l e t -

e d , yet most later vo ted aga in s t

d i rec t ing the b o m b u p o n c iv i l i an

targets. By that s tage the b o m b h a d

b e c o m e a po l i t i ca l a n d mil itary c o n -

ce rn .

Sir J o s e p h m o v e d into m e d i c a l

physics whe re he c o n t i n u e d his d i s-

t i ngu i shed c a r e e r a n d spent m u c h

of his t ime c a m p a i g n i n g for p r a c t i -

ca l a n d soc ia l l y r e spons ib l e a p p l i -

ca t ions of s c i ence . H e is the only

surv iv ing s ignatory of the Russell-

E ins te in m a n i f e s t o , a d o c u m e n t

wh i ch led to a mee t ing of scientists

in a sma l i C a n a d i a n t o w n , P u g -

w a s h , to d iscuss the ro le of s c i ence

a n d w o r l d affa irs . S ince t h en , the

" P u g w a s h C o n f e r e n c e s " h a v e

b e c o m e a n inf luent ia l b o d y of e m i -

nent scientists that con t i nue to v o i c e

o p i n i o n s u p o n the a p p l i c a t i o n of

sc i ence today. It was Sir J o seph ' s

efforts that e a r n e d h im the N o b e l

Peace Prize, toge the r with the P u g -

w a s h o r g a n i s a t i o n in 1 9 9 5 .

In the s a m e spir i t , a " S tudent

P u g w a s h " g r o u p has b e e n set up at

Imper ia l C o l l e g e a n d Sir J o seph ' s

lecture m a r k e d the first in a series of

lec tures , a i m e d at e x p l o r i n g the

soc i a l r espons ib i l i t i es of scientists.

The g r o u p wil l be act ively i nvo l ved

in the f o r t h c o m i n g Pugwash C o n f e r -

e n c e o n S c i e n c e a n d W o r l d Affa irs

he ld in C a m b r i d g e in A u g u s t 2 0 0 0 ,

a n event that d r aws inf luent ia l s c i -

entists f r o m a r o u n d the w o r l d . The

next lec ture wi l l be g i ven by Dr.

J o h n H a s s a r d f r o m the Phys ics

D e p a r t m e n t a n d prev ious ly of the

Roya l C o m m i s s i o n o n N u c l e a r

Energy. H e wil l s p e a k o n " W i l l C l i -

m a t e C h a n g e Dr ive N u c l e a r Prolif-

e r a t i o n ? " at 1 p m o n Thu r sday 4th

N o v e m b e r in the U n i o n D i n i n g

H a l l .

W e e k l y mee t i ngs a re o n Thu r s-

days at 1 p m in the B rown c o m m i t -

tee r o o m , a n d eve ryone is w e l -

c o m e ! . M o r e i n f o r m a t i o n o n the

s o c i e t y c a n be f o u n d at

w w w . s u . i c . a c . u k / p u g w a s h .

Overseas Societies

Comittee elected at last

DINESH GANESARAJAH

O n the 5th at tempt to ho ld e lec t ions

for a new c o m m i t t e e fo r the 1 9 9 9 /

2 0 0 0 A c a d e m i c year, the O v e r s e a s

Students C o m m i t t e e ( O S C ) s eems

to f inal ly have a set of off icers to

represent the ove rseas soc iet ies of

Imper i a l C o l l e g e U n i o n . S e n

G a n e s h was v ic tor ious in w i n n i n g

the O S C C h a i r , with M o g a i n i n g

V i c e - C h a i r a n d S a c h i n a t t a i n i ng

Treasurer. The prev ious efforts to

ho ld e lec t ions h a d b e e n unsucces s-

ful d u e to the low turnout o f e l ig ib le

voters (the cha i rs o f the i nd i v i dua l

O S C societ ies) .

W i th 3 0 % of Imper ia l C o l l e g e

m a d e up fo re ign s tudents , O S C is

seen as p l ay ing a n impor t an t ro le in

Imper ia l C o l l e g e . The h igh l igh t of

the O S C c a l e n d a r has a lways been

Internat ional N i g h t , w h i c h in recent

years has c o n t i n u e d to consistent ly

m a k e heavy losses. Trad i t iona l l y a

f o o d fa i r f o l l o w e d by a s h o w a n d

d i s c o , Internat ional N igh t is the o n e

o c c a s i o n whe re overseas societ ies

are g iven the oppor tun i ty to reveal

their cul ture to the rest of Imper ia l .

Howeve r , there have even been

sugges t i ons that a n o t h e r d isaster

wil l spel l the end of this a n n u a l

event.

In this l ight, the new commi t t ee

wil l have a t o u g h task a h e a d . N o w

that the new a c a d e m i c yea r is fully

u n d e r way, with the new personne l

on ly hav ing b e e n e lec ted recently,

the c h a l l e n g e fo r the new c o m m i t -

tee l ooks to be even tougher . The

c h a l l e n g e s wi l l i n c l u d e p l a y i n g

ca t ch up to b e c o m i n g f inanc ia l l y

t r a ined a n d versed in the b u r e a u -

cracy of I C U , as wel l as i m p r o v i n g

c o m m u n i c a t i o n be tween the O S C

g r o u p a n d its soc ie t ies , the lack of

wh i ch has b e e n the very r eason fo r

the late e lec t ions . W i th Internat ional

N i g h t just ove r 3 months away, the

1 9 9 9 / 2 0 0 0 A c a d e m i c year l ooks

to be a n interest ing o n e fo r O S C .

Undergraduate

Research

Opportunities

Programme

• Undergraduates assist academic staff with their

researches

• Directory of 1999-2000 opportunities available from

Room 313C Mechanical Engineering

• Information meeting (including Delaware,USA,

exchange scheme) Wednesday, 3 November 13.15 -

14.00 Room 342 Mechanical Engineering Building

• Discover more on http://www.hu.ic.ac.uk/urop/

Help academic staff and help your career:

Join U R O P now

HU

Them and NUS DAVID ROBERTS

A s we a l l (hopeful ly ) know , Imper i a l

C o l l e g e isn't a f f i l i a t e d t o the

N a t i o n a l U n i o n of S tudents . W h y

not? Af ter a l l , p rac t i ca l l y every o t h e r

c o l l e g e a n d univers i ty u n i o n in the

coun t r y is a m e m b e r , [with the

e x c e p t i o n of mos t of the Scot t i sh

H i g h e r E d u c a t i o n inst i tut ions (of

wh i ch m o r e later) a n d , as of last

m o n t h , U M I S T ] , yet s i n c e the

1 9 3 0 ' s Imper ia l C o l l e g e U n i o n has

b e e n a m e m b e r fo r a g r a n d tota l of

six years . [ ICU last left in 1 9 7 9 ,

w h e n Trevor Phi l l ips (a f o r m e r I C U

P res iden t a n d p o t e n t i a l D e p u t y

M a y o r of London ) was l e a d i n g the

N U S ] .

s

Re-aff i l iat ing to the N U S w o u l d cos t

I C U be tween £ 2 0 K a n d £ 5 0 K a

year, d e p e n d i n g o n w h o y o u ta lk to ,

but in a l l p robab i l i t y the f ina l f i gu re

w o u l d be a r o u n d £ 3 0 0 0 0 . H o w e v -

er, that's on l y a fifth of w h a t we pay

the Univers i ty of L o n d o n U n i o n , o r

3 % of the Un ion ' s tota l C o l l e g e

grant , s o is it real ly that m u c h ?

W e l l , f r o m a cos t e f fec t i veness

po in t of v iew, m e m b e r s h i p of the

N U S pr imar i l y m e a n s m e m b e r s h i p

of N U S S L ( N U S Serv ices Ltd), w h i c h

is r e g a r d e d by most s tudents un i ons

as the m a i n r e a s o n fo r s tay ing wi th

the n a t i o n a l body . N U S S L is e f f ec-

t ive ly a p u r c h a s i n g c o n s o r t i u m

w h i c h a l l o w s u n i o n s a c c e s s t o

c h e a p supp l i e s of beer , s tat ionary ,

f o o d , sports kit a n d o t h e r s tudent

staples - in o t h e r w o r d s it's the r e a -

son that s tudent ba rs up a n d d o w n

the count ry m a n a g e to k e e p the i r

pr ices so low. It's a l s o the r e a s o n

that the Scott ish univers i t ies d e c i d e d

to l eave the n a t i o n a l b o d y - as they

weren't a l l o w e d to d isa f f i l i a te f r o m

o n e w i thout a u t o m a t i c a l l y qu i t t ing

the other, they r e s i g n e d f r o m the

N U S as a w h o l e in protest .

Howeve r , b a r pr i ces at) IC a re

as low as any o t h e r s tudent b a r in

L o n d o n - so d o e s IC subs id i s e it's

pr ices o r buy it's b e e r o n the b l a c k

marke t ? N o , it's m u c h s i m p l e r -

ins tead of r ig idly a d h e r i n g to o n e

c o n s o r t i u m I C U uses a mixture of

N o r t h e r n Se rv i ces (a p u r c h a s i n g

g r o u p set u p by the Scot t i sh s tu-

dents u n i o n s , w h i c h a n y o n e c a n

jo in fo r a tiny fee) , T U C O (the C o l -

lege p u r c h a s i n g g roup ) a n d l o c a l

c o n s o r t i u m s , a n d c o n s e q u e n t l y

gets , by a n d l a rge , the s a m e (if not

better) pr ices t han every o ther u n i o n

in the country.

n

O K , so what 's the po in t of h a v i n g a

n a t i o n a l r ep resen ta t i ve b o d y f o r

any g r o u p of p e o p l e ? To exert

p o w e r at the h ighes t leve ls , push fo r

the rights of it's m e m b e r s , ensu re

fa i r a n d e q u a l t rea tment a n d p r o -

v ide a system of suppo r t a n d t r a i n -

i n g , r ight? In theory, that's exact ly

wha t the N U S is s u p p o s e d to d o . In

reality, however , it's c a m p a i g n i n g

r e c o r d in recent years has b e e n less

t han e n v i a b l e . O p p o s i t i o n to fees

w a s so bad l y o r g a n i s e d a n d inef-

fect ive it has p r o v o k e d d a m n a t i o n

f r o m every sec to r of H i g h e r E d u c a -

t i o n . O p p o s i t i o n to the a b o l i t i o n of

g ran ts w a s e q u a l l y non-ex is tent ,

a n d it's on ly now, with the dec i s i on s

in p l a c e a n d a l m o s t ent irely u n a l -

t e r a b l e , that m a r c h e s a n d d e m o n -

strat ions of a n y note a re b e g i n n i n g

to fi lter t h r o u g h f r o m the l e ade r -

sh ip . N o n e t h e l e s s , n a t i o n a l r epre-

sen ta t i on a n d c a m p a i g n i n g is a n

essent ia l r e q u i r e m e n t if we a re to

have any input in the way H i g h e r

E d u c a t i o n is run in the next m i l l e n -

n i a - so w o u l d n ' t it be better to be

o n the i n s ide ? The diff iculty is that

the p r o b l e m with N U S is e n d e m i c

ra ther t han i ssue-spec i f i c . Unt i l the

ent i re na t i ona l s tudent m o v e m e n t

u n d e r g o e s a r a d i c a l s h a k e - u p ,

n o t h i n g ' s g o i n g to c h a n g e . . .

So wha t the p r o b l e m ? Lack of

c o m m u n i c a t i o n ? P o o r m a r k e t i n g

a n d PR? O r is it s imply the c a s e that

the N U S l e a d e r s h i p puts it's po l i t i ca l

g o a l s a h e a d of the n a t i o n a l student

interest. The fact that w h e n , in the

last r o u n d of e l e c t i ons , N U S Presi-

den t A n d r e w Pakes was re turned fo r

a s e c o n d te rm by a n a r r o w m a r g i n ,

it t h r e a t e n e d to be the first t ime in

seven teen years that L a b o u r S tu-

dents (the youth w i n g of the L a b o u r

party) h a d not c o n t r o l l e d N U S is

p r o b a b l y a s t rong s ign of the po l i t i -

ca l na ture of the o r g a n i s a t i o n . A n d

whi lst any k ind of po l i t i ca l ag i t a t i o n

is g o i n g to s e e m f o r e i g n to p r o u d -

to-be-apo l i t i c a l IC , the s h e a r level

of beh ind-the-scenes m a c h i n a t i o n s

o r g a n i s e d by M r Pakes s h o c k e d the

entire N U S C o n f e r e n c e . In a d e s -

pera te a t tempt to c l i ng to p o w e r v i a

spl inter sec t ions of the L a b o u r b l o c k

vo te , M r Pakes w i thd rew the L a b o u r

S tudent e n d o r s e m e n t f r o m severa l

of his c o l l e a g u e s a n d p a s s e d it o n t o

a set of h a n d p i c k e d p u p p e t s c h o -

sen f r o m the key inst i tut ions a n d

vo t ing g r o u p s . H e is now, of c o u r s e ,

t i pped fo r a very s en io r job in the

L a b o u r Party's next e l e c t i on c a m -

p a i g n ( another interest ing statistic

shows that after the last e l e c t i o n

there were s ixteen di f ferent L a b o u r

M P s w h o h a d prev ious l y he ld the

pos i t i on of N U S Pres ident . . . ) .

s

Bas ica l ly , they ' r e aren ' t any a l t e r n a -

tives. Trades U n i o n ' s in g e n e r a l

don ' t t end to w o r k o n a c o m p e t i -

t ive, free marke t bas is - after a l l ,

wha t k ind of na t i ona l r e p r e s e n t a -

t ion c o u l d be a c h i e v e d if there were

two na t i ona l b o d i e s c a m p a i g n i n g

in o p p o s i n g d i r ec t i ons . The on ly

b o d y that c o m e s c l o se is the A l d -

w y c h G r o u p , w h o s e a i m s , o b j e c -

tives a n d m e m b e r s h i p a r e very dif-

ferent . For starters, the G r o u p was

set up to represen t the students of

the " b e t t e r " univers i t ies ( a l though

recent L e a g u e t ab les m ight di f fer

subs tant i a l l y with the identi t ies of

the f i f teen m e m b e r s ) a n d has as it's

p r imary ob jec t i ve the a v o i d a n c e of

t o p - u p , means- tes ted a n d tutor ia l

fees fo r h o m e s tudents . M o r e o v e r ,

a l t h o u g h I C U is a m e m b e r (as

m e m b e r s h i p is free) , the A l d w y c h

G r o u p ' s r e c o r d o n s e c u r i n g c o n -

crete a c c o m p l i s h m e n t s is n o m o r e

impress i ve t han that of the N U S

itself.

Effectively, I C U d o e s n ' t n e e d to

af f i l ia te to the N U S in the ful l

k n o w l e d g e tha t the N U S c a m -

p a i g n s (howeve r ineffectively) o n

be h a l f o f it's s tudents anyway. Put

s imply , n o t h i n g wi l l c h a n g e until a n

a p p r e c i a b l e n u m b e r of u n i o n s

l eave N U S - a n d c o n s i d e r i n g the

n u m b e r of s t u m b l i n g b l o c k s that the

l eade r s of the n a t i o n a l b o d y t end to

put in the way of po ten t i a l leavers ,

such a n o u t c o m e is m o r e than

unl ikely, at least in the shor t t e rm .

For n o w we ' l l just con t i nue to sit

happ i l y o n the o u t s i d e , awa i t i ng

d e v e l o p m e n t s .

FELIX NEEDS YOU

E

,

,

,

S

E

E

R

e x

/

/

Last week, amidst a storm of media and scientific controversy,

auction site ronsangels.com went on-line, attracting over a

million hits in it's first day alone. Rather than selling household

goods, antiques or bric-a-brac, ronsangels.com is exclusively

dedicated to the sale of human eggs and sperm from Ameri-

can models. Is it moral? Is it legal? Is it ethical? Above all, is it

true? David Roberts investigates.

T h a n k s to r e f o r m e d p o r n o g r a p h e r Ron H a r r i s , y ou i n c r ea s e the succes s of y o u r c h i l d r e n f o r centur ies to

n o w h a v e the o p p o r t u n i t y to buy beau ty f o r y o u r ch i l- c o m e . . . a n y gift that c a n be i m p a r t e d , such as beauty ,

d r e n . Fork ou t e n o u g h c a s h (anyth ing up to a qua r t e r i n t e l l i g ence o r s o c i a l sk i l l s , wi l l h e l p y o u r c h i l d r e n in

of a m i l l i o n do l l a r s ) a n d , a c c o r d i n g to M r H a r r i s , y o u r the i r ques t f o r h a p p i n e s s a n d s u c c e s s " . H e ' s a d a m a n t

c h i l d r e n c a n be the s u p e r m o d e l s o f t o m o r r o w . T h e r e ' s that f o c u s i n g ent i re ly o n l o o k s at the e x p e n s e of any

just o n e d r a w b a c k - they won ' t be y o u r c h i l d r e n . W h a t o the r f ea tu re o r h u m a n qua l i t y is not a s h a l l o w o r

y o u ' r e b u y i n g he re isn ' t state-of-the-art g e n e t h e r a p y d e m e a n i n g pursu i t , a n d is utterly u n a p o l o g e t i c a b o u t

o r the ab i l i t y to pred i c t w h a t y o u r kids wi l l l o o k l ike - his i d e o l o g y " B e a u t y is it 's o w n r e w a r d - this is the first

i t 's the unfer t i l i sed e g g s o r s p e r m of A m e r i c a n m o d e l s . soc ie ty to truly c o m p r e h e n d h o w i m p o r t a n t beau t i fu l

G i v e n a ga l l e r y of " b e a u t i f u l p e o p l e " , wi th p i c tu res , g e n e s a re to o u r e v o l u t i o n " ,

a g e s a n d (of course ) m e a s u r e m e n t s , y o u c a n b id t o ,

effect ively, have the i r c h i l d r e n . Still in te res ted? T h e n

visit w w w . r o n s a n g e l s . c o m . Barely Legal

I . m" A l t h o u g h the site w o u l d be i l l ega l in the U K , it 's entire-

The Science ly p e r m i s s i b l e in mos t U S states. H o w e v e r , the l a u n c h

o f the site h a s (unsurpr is ing ly ) t r i g g e r e d a n urgen t

% S o , pr ior i ty o n e , wi l l it a c tua l l y w o r k ? W i l l this s m a l l rev iew of the s t a n d a r d s a n d r e g u l a t i o n s s u r r o u n d i n g

\ f o r t une a c tua l l y g u a r a n t e e y o u a c h i l d w h o ' l l be a b l e e - c o m m e r c e in the U S , with q u e s t i o n s a l r e a d y b e i n g

„ a j j j to ca r ve out a c a r e e r in B a y w a t c h ? W h o ' l l be the a s k e d in C o n g r e s s . The l e a d i n g p o l i t i c a l s p o k e s m a n

o b j e c t o f des i r e fo r every o t h e r s ixteen yea r-o ld o n the o n the sub|ect ( and a u t h o r of the on l y F e d e r a l r egu la-

/ b l o c k ? W h o ' l l be w o r k i n g the ca twa l k be fo re they sit t ions o n the fertility industry) Ron W y d e n , a D e m o c r a -

i the i r G C S E ' s ? E r . . . n o . A c c o r d i n g to p rac t i ca l l y every t ic S e n a t o r f r o m O r e g o n , c o m m e n t e d that " th is is a

b i o l o g i s t q u e s t i o n e d o n the sub jec t , o n e g o o d - l o o k i n g t r o u b l i n g e x a m p l e of h o w b i g b u c k s a n d f lat-out c o m -

/ ", pa r en t ce r ta in l y won ' t p r o d u c e a s t r eam of beau t i fu l m e r c i a l i s m d o m i n a t e a f i e ld w h e r e the re a re so m a n y

c h i l d r e n . P ro fesso r G e o r g e A n n a s o f B o s t o n Un i ve r s i - v u l n e r a b l e p e o p l e " b e f o r e p r o m i s i n g that he ' l l be

ty put the mat te r blunt ly, "It's l u d i c r o u s - n o k id ' s " l o o k i n g into this o n e " .

/ g o i n g to l o o k l ike the m o d e l ' s p i c t u r e . . . o f t e n g e n e s M e a n w h i l e , Ron H a r r i s ' site has b e e n a t t a c k e d

| 1 wi l l sk ip a g e n e r a t i o n a n y w a y " . Bes ides , as any G C S E f r o m al l s ides - S e a n T i p t o n , s p o k e s m a n f o r the A m e r -

b i o l o g y c o u r s e wi l l tel l y o u , gene t i c s is d e p e n d a n t o n i c a n Soc ie t y f o r R e p r o d u c t i v e M e d i c i n e , s imp l y b r a n d -

b o t h paren ts a n d a hefty s l i ce of p robab i l i t y - as D r e d the c o n c e p t " u n e t h i c a l a n d d i s t a s t e f u l " , whi ls t D r

G e o r g e H a r d a c r e , f r o m the C a l i f o r n i a n Institute of C o n n o r R e e c e , c h a i r o f the c ross party c o m m i t t e e o n

G e n e t i c s , w a s swift to po in t ou t , " N a t u r e is not that m e d i c a l e th i cs , w a s truly d a m m i n g , d e e m i n g the site

s i m p l e " . to be " the worst p o s s i b l e e x a m p l e of the internet b e i n g

1 ' N o n e t h e l e s s , M r Ha r r i s sees the p r o c e s s as " D a r - used for c l ! 'he w r o n g r e a s o n s . . . w h a t s h o u l d have

w in ' s na tu ra l s e l e c t i o n at it 's very b e s t " . I n d e e d , he ' s b e e n the grea tes t sc ien t i f i c t o o l o f the cen tu ry has

d e v e l o p e d his o w n very p e r s o n a l v i ew o n e v o l u t i o n , b e c o m e a p l a y g r o u n d fo r m o n e y - g r a b b i n g low-l i fes

H «~JBU, " c h o o s i n g e g g s f r o m beau t i fu l w o m e n wi l l p r o f o u n d l y p e d d l i n g d u b i o u s p r o d u c t s a n d suspec t t h e o r i e s " .

1 e

Bidding Wars

D e s p i t e the n e g a t i v e p r e s s , R o n s a n g e l s ( n a m e d ,

a c c o r d i n g to M r H a r r i s , in t r ibute to l o w g r a d e 7 0 ' s

cult ser ies C h a r l i e ' s A n g e l s ) , has n o n e t h e l e s s d o n e

a m a z i n g bus iness , r eg i s t e r i ng 1.1 m i l l i o n hits o n it 's

first d a y a l o n e . O f these , m a n y wi l l s imp l y b e v is i t ing

f o r s h o c k v a l u e , but never the less e n o u g h po ten t i a l

pa ren ts s t u m p e d up the $ 2 4 . 9 5 m e m b e r s h i p fee

( requ i red be fo re y o u c a n b i d , c h e c k o u t the d o n o r s o r

f i nd ou t m o r e t h a n the b a r e m i n i m u m a b o u t the site)

to p u s h a s k i n g pr i ces w a y a b o v e the i r s tar t ing leve ls .

I ndeed , e v en b e f o r e the o f f i c i a l l a u n c h o f the " se r v-

i c e " , M r Ha r r i s w a s o f f e r e d $ 4 2 0 0 0 f o r the e g g s of

o n e of the m o d e l s by a w o m a n s imp l y iden t i f i ed as

Beth. S p e a k i n g in U S A Today , the 4 2 y e a r o l d T V p r o -

d u c e r e x p l a i n e d her r e a s o n i n g , " T h e w h o l e po i n t o f

this is t o f i nd a n e g g d o n o r w h o l o o k s l ike m e - that

way I m igh t n e v e r h a v e to e x p l a i n the fact that I u s e d

s o m e o n e e l se ' s e g g s " .

Man or Monster?

Ron H a r r i s , the m a n r e s p o n s i b l e fo r the site has a past

that c o u l d be d e s c r i b e d as " c h e q u e r e d " at best. A

one- t ime p o r n o g r a p h e r , d i rec to r , p h o t o g r a p h e r a n d

author , he ' s best k n o w n f o r his p r e v i ou s ven tu re into

c o m m e r c i a l b r e e d i n g - he u s e d to ra ise A r a b i a n h o r s -

es b e f o r e se l l i ng t h e m o n f o r $ 2 0 0 0 0 a p i e c e . A s a

p h o t o g r a p h e r he c l a i m s to have p r o d u c e d c o v e r ar t-

w o r k f o r V o g u e , E l le a n d C o s m o p o l i t a n , a n d has a

lengthy c a r e e r with P l a y b o y (for w h o he has a l s o

d i r e c t ed a ser ies o f "a r t i s t i c s p e c i a l s " ) .

U l t imate l y , he ' s a c l a s s i c en t r ep reneu r , h a v i n g

d a b b l e d in every f i e ld as m a rke t s c h a n g e a n d m o n e y

shifts. A p h o t o g r a p h e r in the sixties he b e c a m e a p u r -

veyo r o f p o r n in the seven t i es , b e f o r e m o v i n g in to

exerc i se p r o g r a m m e s a n d v i d e o s in the hea l th c o n -

sc ious e igh t i e s . A f i na l f l ou r i sh with the ex t reme e d g e

of e - c o m m e r c e is thus ent i re ly in cha rac te r . . .

Parental Responsibility

F r o m the m o m e n t I h e a r d a b o u t the site f o r the first

t ime , two q u e s t i o n s have f l a s h e d a r o u n d my h e a d .

Firstly, w h a t k i nd of p e o p l e w o u l d w a n t to effect ive ly

buy the i r c h i l d (or, p e r h a p s m o r e a ccu ra t e l y , the i r

c h i l d ' s parent ) in this way. But the s e c o n d , a n d pe r-

h a p s m o r e i n t e res t i ng , po i n t is w h a t k ind of p e o p l e

w o u l d w a n t to put t h e m s e l v e s o n the m a r k e t in such a

w a y ? A f t e r a l l , i t 's not l ike t ry ing to sel l a k idney o r

b o n e m a r r o w to m a k e a fast buck - w e ' r e t a l k i n g

a b o u t se l l i ng off the rights to a ch i l d that is, b i o l o g i -

ca l l y s p e a k i n g , 5 0 % yours . O f c o u r s e , h u n d r e d s of

m e n d o n a t e to s p e r m b a n k s every day, a n d e g g d o n a -

t ions a re f a r f r o m u n c o m m o n ( a l t hough the p r o c e s s

invo lves in tens ive g e n e the rapy a n d c o m p l e x surgery ) ,

but t hose a re (usually) a n o n y m o u s . A s with a d o p t i o n ,

the d o n o r c a n neve r k n o w the identity of the i r o f f sp r i ng

- o r even if the i r o f f e r i ng p r o d u c e d a c o n c e p t i o n -

a n d so p a r e n t h o o d c a n r e m a i n a n u n k n o w n , r e s p o n -

sibi l i ty-free, quanti ty . In this c a s e , however , the d o n o r

must meet (and a g r e e terms with) the buyer, a n d wi l l

f o r e ve r be a w a r e of the ex is tence of the i r c h i l d , whi ls t

the c o u p l e c o n c e r n e d wi l l l ive the k n o w l e d g e of the

identity o f the i r c h i l d ' s true p a r e n t a g e . W i l l they,

i n d e e d s h o u l d they, tell the i r ch i l d ? A n d w h a t h a p p e n s

if the c h i l d wants to get to k n o w it's b i o l o g i c a l m o t h -

er? I ndeed , in the l i t iga t ion f renzy that c o n t i n u a l l y

gr ips the U S , w h a t h a p p e n s w h e n o n e of the c h i l d r e n

d e c i d e s to sue that se l f-same m o t h e r fo r d e s e r t i o n . . .

But b a c k to the first po in t - w h a t k ind of p e o p l e

put the i r e g g s up f o r s a l e ? O n e of the m o d e l s i n v o l v e d

in the s a l e , 2 6 y e a r o l d Mis ty M c F e r n (who des c r i be s

herse l f as a s t rugg l i ng actress) put it s imply , " I 'd ra ther

d o this t h a n d o P l ayboy o r P e n t h o u s e " . A l t h o u g h

m o r a l l y d u b i o u s , it 's a di f f icu l t po in t to a r g u e , a n d , as

she says " I 've neve r e v en h a d c h i c k e n p o x , m u m p s o r

m e a s l e s . D o n ' t y o u th ink those a re pretty g o o d g e n e s

to pass a l o n g ? " M o r e o v e r , it cer ta in ly isn't the m o d e l s

w h o a re the v ic t ims - they get to se lect the winner ,

nego t i a t e con t rac t s a n d d o c t o r s , a n d wi l l k e e p a l l the

m o n e y fo r t hemse l ves (Harr is c h a r g e s a n a d d i t i o n a l

2 0 % c o m m i s s i o n o n t o p of the f ina l fee) . I n d e e d , the

site w e l c o m e s a p p l i c a t i o n s f r o m w o u l d - b e d o n o r s -

you just have to be " y o u n g , b e a u t i f u l , hea l thy a n d

in t e l l i gen t " to app ly .

The Future

In a l l probab i l i t y , the marke t c e i l i ng wil l a l r e a d y have

b e e n r e a c h e d by the t ime you read this, a n d both H a r -

ris a n d his m o d e l s wi l l have m a d e a tidy profit f o r the i r

e n d e a v o u r . But whilst they b e g i n to p r e p a r e f o r the ha r-

r o w i n g p rocess that wil l l e a d to t h e m fu l f i l ing the i r e n d

of the b a r g a i n , he wil l be p r e p a r i n g fo r next m on t h s

a u c t i o n to g o o n l ine - this t ime o f fe r ing the s p e r m of

m a l e m o d e l s (at c o n s i d e r a b l y l owe r pr ices ) . M e a n w h i l e

the U S G o v e r n m e n t wil l b e g i n to rush t h r o u g h the l e g -

is la t ion that m a k e s the ent i re c o n c e p t i l l e g a l . A l l that

r e m a i n s to be seen is whe the r o r not they c a n d o so

be fo re s o m e o n e m a t c h e s m o d e l e g g with m o d e l s p e r m

a n d creates the i r o w n DIY ca twa l k c h i l d . . .

8 n x

THE CITY & GUILDS COLLEGE UNION SECTION reengineering the

way you think

Following a last minute mix up with IC's Medical Union, CGCU are back after only a fortnight...

Atlantis - C&G Freshers Dinner

An a m a z i n g a q u a t i c experi-

ence with a s u p e r b three

c o u r s e m e a l followed by a

fantastic Carnival of dance, casi-

no, games, late bar and cinema.

At l an t i s is the res ty led C i t y &

G u i l d s C o l l e g e U n i o n A n n u a l

F reshers even t a n d is p o s s i b l y the

mos t p r e s t i g i o u s F reshe rs e ven t at

Impe r i a l C o l l e g e . T h e even t wi l l

be h o s t e d o n 1 9 t h N o v e m b e r a n d

p r o m i s e s to be b i g g e r a n d bet ter

t han e v e r b e f o r e . M u c h l ike a n y

o t h e r d i n n e r , the even t starts w i th

a r e c e p t i o n w h e r e y o u wi l l be

g i v e n the c h a n c e to m e e t y o u r

pee r s f r o m y o u r o w n a n d o t h e r

d e p a r t m e n t s . But this is n o o r d i -

nary d i n n e r . In a d d i t i o n to a la te

bar , at e x t r a o r d i n a r i l y l o w p r i c e s ,

Friday 9th November 1999, 5 / 7

this y e a r sees the i n t r o d u c t i o n of

the A f t e r D i n n e r C a r n i v a l at the

Freshers D inne r .

T h e A t l a n t i s C a r n i v a l i n c l u d e s

a c a s i n o tha t wi l l f e a t u r e m a n y

c l a s s i c g a m e s s u c h as B l a c k j a c k

a n d Rou l e t t e . E a c h gues t wi l l b e

g i v e n s o m e m o n e y to g a m b l e the

Networking Buzz

What is N e t w o r k i n g ? In the

time that C & G C o l l e g e

has been in exis tence, the

students that have g r a d u a t e d f r o m

this sect ion of Imper ia l C o l l e g e have

g o n e o n to take p rom inen t pos i t ions

in industry. W o u l d it not be a n

except iona l a d v a n t a g e to the cur-

rent gene ra t i on of C & G C o l l e g e

students if they c o u l d get to k n o w

the students that have g o n e be fore

them? A t ta in ing insight a n d contacts

in your c h o s e n e n g i n e e r i n g industry

c an only a d v a n c e you towards you r

ca ree r amb i t i ons . The Ci ty & G u i l d s

C o l l e g e A s s o c i a t i o n is the co rpo ra t e

a s soc i a t i on of C & G C o l l e g e , a n d as

such prov ides oppor tun i t i es to link

to o l d students. The h ighl ight is the

a n n u a l G r a d u a t i n g Students Ne t-

w o r k i n g Recep t i on , Tuesday 16th

N o v e m b e r . A i m e d at the oppos i t e

e n d of the C & G C o l l e g e student

s p e c t r u m to A t l an t i s : The C & G

Freshers D inner , the event is the

def in ing oppor tun i ty fo r g r a d u a t i n g

students to network with f o r m e r stu-

dents in industry a n d g a i n a n a d v a n -

tage in the job market . M o r e in for-

ma t i on is a va i l ab l e f r om A d r i a n ,

Sher f ie ld 3 0 1 .

Raiders Of The Lost Bus - Brighton

I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e gett ing o n you r

I nerves? The w e e k e n d ho l iday to a

I far away p l a ce l o o k i n g e x p e n -

sive? W e have just the answer .

Raiders O f The Lost Bus is the f a n -

tastic day excurs ion to Br ighton o n

Sunday 7th N o v e m b e r . The trip f o l -

lows r o u n d the s t r eaming route of

the Veteran C a r Run , in wh i ch o u r

moto r i s ed m a s c o t , B o , part ic ipates

with hundreds of other pre 1 9 0 4

cars . O n c e there , the Br ighton ho l i -

day resort offers a vast array of

pubs , piers a n d other enter ta in-

ments. The £5 bus ticket (there is no

c h e a p e r return ticket to Brighton)

c a n be b rough t n o w f rom Water-

stones a n d C C S S h o p .

n i gh t a w a y w i t h . Pr izes a r e a w a r d -

e d to the p e o p l e wi th the mos t

m o n e y at the e n d . But the re is

m o r e - C G C U wi l l be s h o w i n g a

m a j o r b l o c k b u s t e r f i l m f ree to a l l

gues t s . The m o v i e wi l l be run a l l

n igh t s o that gues t s won ' t miss o u t

o n a l l the o t h e r a t t r a c t i o n s o n

offer . If a l l this is not e n o u g h to

e n t e r t a i n y o u the re wi l l a l s o be

t a b l e g a m e s s u c h as p o o l a n d

t a b l e f o o t b a l l o n offer .

T h e C a r n i v a l w i l l start s o o n

a f te r the d i n n e r a n d f ea tu re a

d i s c o wi th s o m e of Impe r i a l C o l -

lege 's p r e m i e r D Js . If the re is o n e

e v e n t y o u s h o u l d a t t e n d m a k e

sure its this o n e ! T i cke ts cos t £ 1 5

f o r F reshe rs a n d £ 1 7 f o r a l l o t h e r

s t u d e n t s . T i c k e t s a r e a v a i l a b l e

n o w f r o m W a t e r s t o n e s , C C S s h o p

a n d y o u r C i t y & G u i l d s C o l l e g e

U n i o n D e p a r t m e n t a l Soc ie ty .

F o r m o r e i n f o r m a t i o n p l e a s e

c o n t a c t the C G C U in p e r s o n , v i a

t e l e p h o n e e x t e n s i o n 4 8 0 7 3 o r

t h r o u g h the i n f o r m a t i o n s u p e r -

h i g h w a y , at g u i l d s @ i c . a c . u k .

The Director's Cut By Dinesh Ganesarajah, C G C U President

Felix is f r a n c h i s i n g off a p a g e

a w e e k to the C o n s t i t u e n t

C o l l e g e U n i o n s ( C C U s ) .

H a v e y o u n o t i c e d ? T h e i d e a is a

fantas t i c o n e . To the reader , y o u

n o w have the c h a n c e to d i s c o v e r a

g l i m p s e of s o m e of the th ings we

d o . To the C C U , the s t r ange by-

p r o d u c t is that if the C C U is not

d o i n g a n y t h i n g , they a r e n o w

f o r c e d to d o s o m e t h i n g if they a re

to i n c l u d e a n y t h i n g in the i r p a g e ,

as m o n t h l y s t r eams of "he l lo - its us

a g a i n ! " d o not b o d e we l l f o r the

state o f the C C U . For tuna te l y f o r

this C C U , C i t y & G u i l d s C o l l e g e

U n i o n , we a r e n o w d o i n g so m u c h

that a for tn ight ly s e c t i on in Fel ix

w o u l d no t s t re t ch the w r i t i n g

c a p a c i t y of the act iv i t ies we a re

current ly i n v o l v e d in . U n f o r t u n a t e -

ly, we have not b e e n g r a n t e d this

p r i v i l ege .

If you have b e e n f o l l o w i n g this

sec t i on of Felix av id ly , y o u wil l

have o p e n e d this issue e x p e c t i n g

the return of the M e d i c s to "do

the i r stuff". Un fo r tuna t e l y , desp i t e

h a v i n g e x c i t i n g th ings to c o m e

f r o m the M e d i c s ' S o c i a l Reps , it

w o u l d a p p e a r s o m e sort o f mis-

c o m m u n i c a t i o n in I C S M S U , a n d

the d y n a m i c ab i l i t y o f G u i l d s m e n

to p r o d u c e qua l i t y w o r k o n a 3 a m

T h u r s d a y m o r n i n g , has m e a n t o u r

ear l y r e tu rn .

At this i n s t a n t a n e o u s po in t in

t i m e , C G C U is very events o r i e n -

t a t ed . The r e a s o n ? B e c a u s e that is

al l p e o p l e no t i c e o n a phys i ca l

l eve l . I a m not in the s l ightest bit

w o r r i e d if at this p h a s e in the y e a r

the events a r e not ent i re ly s u c c e s s -

ful - it is g o o d e n o u g h that we

have events a n d p e o p l e a re no t i c -

ing these events . O n c e C G C U is

c o n s i s t e n t l y d e m a n d i n g p u b l i c

a t t e n t i o n , f o r g o o d o r b a d , w e c a n

u n ra v e l s o m e m o r e exc i t ing p r o d -

ucts, i n c l u d i n g those that a re not

e v e n t s o r i e n t a t e d , w h i c h a r e

b o u n d to b i a s the g o o d . . .

1 n 9

The State of the Union Aldwych

There a r e 19 top Univers i t ies in the

country, c a l l ed the Russell g r o u p .

T h o s e Universit ies have 1 9 U n i o n s ,

c a l l ed the A l d w y c h g r o u p . A l d w y c h

was set up to fight fees. A s the top

Universit ies w e a re most at risk of

extra cha rges (top u p fees) b e c a u s e

p e o p l e will pay extra fo r a better

deg ree . As o n e of the Presidents

wh i ch m a k e up the g r o u p , I a m o n

the l o o k up for h i d d e n cou rse costs.

If y ou think that you are be ing

c h a r g e d extra c o m e a n d see m e o r

the D P E&W, Kevin Butcher. Thus f a r

Imper ia l has been p l ay ing very fair,

(would we expec t anyth ing di f fer-

ent?) but C a m b r i d g e have h a d a

3 5 % increase in H a l l rents, s o m e

p laces are be ing c h a r g e d fo r h a n d -

outs o r even to g o to the i r o w n g r a d -

ua t i on ! !

Up for grabs

There are still a few ' e l e c t e d ' p l aces

o p e n fo r U n i o n commi t t ees . H a v e a

l o o k o n the not ice b o a r d outs ide the

U D H . M o s t of t h e m m e a n n o work

on your part , just a c h a n c e to see the

inner work ings of I C U . S u m m e r Ba l l

cha i r is as m u c h work as you w o u l d

By Natasha Newton, Imperial College Union President - This Week's Union Meetings -

Monday 1st

• B U S A D i v i s i ona l mee t ing

Tuesday 2nd

• 1 p m - Arts & Enter ta inments

B o a r d t r e a s u r e s m e e t i n g ,

Resou r ce C e n t r e

• 6 p m - U n i o n F i n a n c e c o m m i t -

tee , R e s o u r c e C e n t r e

• 7 p m - M e d S c h o o l U n i o n

m e e t i n g

Wednesday 3rd

• 2 - 3 p m - A c c o m m o d a t i o n C o m -

mittee, C l u b s C o m m i t t e e R o o m

Thursday 4th

• 1 2 . 3 0 p m - R e c r e a t i o n a l C l u b s

C o m m i t t e e t reasurers m e e t i n g ,

Resou r ce C e n t r e

• 6 p m - I C U E x e c , R e s o u r c e

C e n t r e

• 6 p m - R C C G e n e r a l mee t i ng

• U L U M e d g r o u p

Friday 5th

• T B A - R A G m e e t i n g , e m a i l

f a r h a d . c o o p e r @ i c . a c . u k if you

are in teres ted .

want to m a k e it. Lots p repa ra t i on

has b e e n d o n e over the S u m m e r

a n d there 's a t e a m of pe rm an en t

staff to he lp y o u , what we don ' t have

is s tudent input . If y o u think you

k n o w what a S u m m e r Bal l shou ld

l ook l ike, s ign up !

Final years

The c o m m e m o r a t i o n day Bal l has

b e e n a n a n n u a l event f o r years a n d

years . Recently it has been poor ly

a t tended as p e o p l e c h o s e to say bye

bye t o thei r yea r g r o u p at the S u m -

m e r Bal l rather than o n g r a d u a t i o n

day. For the last two years the n u m -

bers have g o n e d o w n a n d d o w n a n d

n o w it looks totally unv iab le . BUT, I

d idn ' t think it was fa ir to b in it for you

o n the bas is of wha t this yea r ' s guys

have d o n e . . . . s o this is h o w it

works . There will be an I C U s u m m e r

ba l l this a c a d e m i c yea r (with tickets

as c lose to £55 as poss ib le ) . D o you

think there shou ld then be a late

O c t o b e r ba l l fo r your year ? (Aga in

a r o u n d £55.)

A n s w e r s o n a p o s t c a r d o r

pre ferab ly v i a e m a i l to the usua l

a d d r e s s : president@ic.ac.uk.

decisions A leading European e-commerce solutions provider

eFounded in 1998, netdecisions has grown to over 140 people, with offices in London, Cambridge and India, netdecisions works with leading traditional companies to embrace the booming internet economy. Our aim is to integrate skills in business strategy, user interface design, technical web and database development, with complex network integration. If you are interested in advancing technology in a young and dynamic environment we'd love to hear from you.

b

ASPs, HTML, Perl, C++, Java or Javascript

e

Oracle version 7-8, Microsoft SQL Server 6.5-7, Informix, SyBase and DB2

k

Unix or NT, in particular FreeBSD, Solaris and Linux

sOutstanding academic record required with a passion for business and the Internet

Please send your CV and covering letter to Christine Grady at netdecisions, Elsinore House, 77 Fulham Palace Road,

London W6 8JA orchristine.grady@netdecisions.co.uk

10 Feedback Felix • 1 November 1999

Point S o m e of you m a y have no t i c ed that

I wasn ' t here last week . G i v i n g my

soc i a l c o n s c i e n c e its a n n u a l o u t i n g ,

I went up to C a m b r i d g e to de l i ve r a

fr iendly rap o n the knuck l e s a b o u t

the pr ice of C h i n e s e t ake-aways .

N a t u r a l l y , the l o c a l b o b b i e s

repressed m e brutal ly a n d l o c k e d

me in p r i s on , ev ident ly c o n c e r n e d

for Pres ident J i a n g ' s f r ag i l e menta l

state. Sl ightly p e e v e d , I re turned to

L o n d o n only to f ind that after yet

a n o t h e r cons t i tu t iona l rewrite, I C U

has m o d e l l e d itself o n the Peop l e ' s

Repub l i c .

F o l l o w i n g the b e n i g n a n d

p leasan t rule of Pres ident H e l ' a d ,

the c o m m u n i s t s have ins ta l l ed Pres-

ident Ta ' sha to run the Peop l e ' s

U n i o n . (That's not the on ly c o i n c i -

d e n c e : in 1 9 9 7 , a l a rge ly s u c c e s s -

fu l , yet tiny c o l o n y w a s c o n s u m e d by

its g i g a n t i c n e i g h b o u r a n d c h a n g e d

to a n admin i s t r a t i ve r eg ion ) . N o w it

w o u l d s e e m that M i n i s t e r fo r C u l -

ture J in Q u i n ' t r i is seek ing to s u p -

press d i ssen t ing vo i ces in the n a m e

of ' The P e o p l e ' , in o r d e r to establ ish

his o w n s u c c e s s i o n to rule.

H o w very wel l t i m e d this a l l is.

Last w e e k , the g o v e r n m e n t

a n n o u n c e d a bil l w h i c h wil l f ina l ly

g ive you the right not to r ead any

fi les that C o l l e g e keeps o n y o u ; last

w e e k , the Fo re ign O f f i c e instructed

y o u r p o l i c e f o r c e to s u p p r e s s

p e a c e f u l d e m o c r a t i c pro tes t in

o r d e r to protect t r a d e ; a n d last

w e e k , m e m b e r s of the U n i o n Exec-

utive d e c i d e d to use their in f luence

to suppress o p i n i o n s that d i f fered

f r o m thei r o w n .

Let's m a k e it c l ea r : this c o l u m n

wi l l r e m a i n a n o n y m o u s in spite of

pathet i c b l ea t i ng f r o m u n a c c o u n t -

a b l e hacks . W i t h o u t anonymi ty , it

c a n n o t be written. If p e o p l e knew I

wrote B reakpo in t , t hey ' d e i ther tell

m e n o t h i n g , o r tell m e a l o a d of

t r a sh . M a n y letters to Fel ix a re

u n s i g n e d , a n d the o p i n i o n s g i ven

a re of ten m o r e sens ib le than those

of the egot ists w h o s imply wish to

see their n a m e in print. This c o l u m n

is subject to the a p p r o v a l of the

Felix Editor, in exact ly the s a m e way

as any letter is. The Felix Ed i to r is,

by the way, D a v i d Roberts , not o u r

M in i s t e r of C u l t u r e , o r a n y o n e e lse

fo r that matter.

For those of you unsure , Break-

Point has c o m e a b o u t as a result of

d e s p e r a t i o n at the apa thy s h o w n by

you r typica l IC student. I C U has

g r e a t p o w e r s a n d i n f l u e n c e at

Imper i a l , a n d it sca res m e to think

of it b e i n g u s e d w i t h o u t o p e n

d e b a t e h o l d i n g o u r ' e l e c t e d ' o f f i -

cers to a c c o u n t . So B reakpo in t a i m s

to start that d e b a t e , in the lecture

theatres , in Sou ths ide a n d the sports

f ie lds . N o l e a d e r writer in Fleet

Street s igns their c o l u m n s ; if you

d o n ' t a g r e e with t h e m , you ei ther

put up o r shut up . The s a m e a pp l i e s

here .

W h y is it s o i m p o r t a n t to k n o w

w h o B reakPo in t is? If you d i d know,

dou b t l e s s the repl ies to my c o l u m n

w o u l d not t ack l e the subs t ance of

the d e b a t e , but mere ly be pe r sona l

insults - a n d that gets us n o w h e r e

fast.

S o until the ed i t o r g ives m e my

m a r c h i n g o r d e r s , you ' l l f ind m e

here s h a r i n g this p a g e with Kev in .

I'll k eep r a k i n g the l awn a n d revea l -

ing any h i d d e n t reasures I m a y f i nd .

For you r part , I h o p e you keep

r e a d i n g , a n d a i m to d i s cove r the

truth fo r yourse l f .

O h , a n d by the way - fo r those

of you w h o sa id my first c o l u m n

(Felix 1 1 5 2 ) was m a d e - u p n o n -

sense , I c o m m e n d y o u to r ead T im

Tra i lo r ' s q u o t e o n last weeks front

p a g e : " T h e r e ' s a l so a p l an to ra t io-

na l i se the sports g r o u n d s . Tha t s u g -

gests that they p l a n to sell Tedd ing-

t o n " . I t h a n k y o u .

ABSENTEE MASCOTRY

The ta , current ly the on ly v io l a t e C o n s t i t u e n t C o l -

lege U n i o n m a s c o t at Impe r i a l , d i d not a t tend a l l

of the Roya l C o l l e g e of S c i e n c e Freshers d i n n e r s .

Kev in , h o p i n g to f ind i n t r i gu ing stor ies of a n

i n g e n i o u s theft, c o v e r e d up by the R C S U has

been inves t iga t ing . The best excuse the twenty

t h o u s a n d p o u n d s wor th of t h e r m o m e t e r c o u l d

c o m e up wi th , w a s that it w a s a w a y f r o m c o l l e g e

gett ing p o l i s h e d . Kev in sees this as a b o u t as

pathet i c as : " So r r y .. I can ' t c o m e , I'm d o i n g my

hai r . "

HARD TO COMMENT

The S e n i o r C o m m o n R o o m (SCR) , a n d sur-

r o u n d i n g a r e a s o n the first f l o o r of Sher f i e ld a re

to be r e fu rb i shed . Estates has exp ressed c o n c e r n

at the lack of c o m m e n t s o n the p l ans that they

have rece i ved f r o m staff a n d students . Kev in

thinks he m a y have a n e x p l a n a t i o n , o the r t han

typ ica l IC apathy . At the t ime of wr i t ing Kev in

not ices that e-mai ls to s c r c o m m e n t s @ i c . a c . u k ,

the a dd r e s s to w h i c h c o m m e n t s were inv i t ed , a re

b o u n c i n g .

A recent ar t ic le in staff newslet ter ICD i s to r te r

a l so stated that de ta i l s c o u l d be v i e w e d f r o m

www.ad.ic.ac.uk/estates, yet the p a g e is still

awa i t i ng the a p p r o p r i a t e l ink.

JACK HAMMER ATTACK

Estates have stated that they a re keen to keep

no i se a n d d i s rup t i on to a m i n i m u m d u r i n g the

S C R pro jec t , w h i c h wil l run f r o m direct ly after

C h r i s t m a s , to the e n d of J une . T h o s e r e spons ib l e

a re ev ident ly a w a r e of fears of a repea t of the

d e b a c l e that a c c o m p a n i e d the Library ex tens ion

Mish Mash

A Mostly Harmless Column by Kevin, a random entity who

knows nothing about nothing w h i c h resul ted in students t a k i n g e x a m s in a tent

ou t s ide Sou ths i de a n d have stated that " s tudents

s h o u l d not f ea r no i se d u r i n g e x a m s " .

To ensure they have e v i d e n c e to b a c k up

their s ta tements con t r ac to r s with jack h a m m e r s

have b e e n dr i l l i ng into wa l l s a r o u n d Sher f i e ld to

see the effect o n the G r e a t H a l l . Kev in was not

e n c o u r a g e d by the fact lectures in the Reed a n d

P i p p a r d Lecture Theat res were d i s rup ted by n o i s -

es s im i l a r to jack h a m m e r s d u r i n g the w e e k of

the tests.

PRICE WAR HERE WE COME

The I C U run n e w s a g e n t s o n the w a l k w a y wil l

r e loca te to the J C R t e m p o r a r i l y f r o m J anua r y

d u r i n g the S C R w o r k s . S tudents a n d Staff wi l l be

f a c e d with a c h o i c e be tween Q T ' s , a n d the I C U

out le t , w h i c h wil l be s i tua ted o p p o s i t e e a c h

other. Kev in e n c o u r a g e s students to c h o o s e I C U ,

as profits benef i t s tudents , r a the r t han b e i n g

s w a l l o w e d by She r f i e ld . T h e U n i o n newsagen t s is

of c o u r s e s u p e r i o r to Q T : it wi l l r e m a i n the on ly

o n e with n e w s p a p e r s a n d m a g a z i n e s , a n d is a l so

c h e a p e r o n s t a n d a r d l ines s u c h as dr inks a n d

cr i sps . " ' . i i S M W S l < i

THE MILLENNIUM HAMSTER

The h u g e M i l l e n n i u m W h e e l o n the b a n k of the

T h a m e s is n o w v is ib le f r o m parts of c o l l e g e .

Kev in was d i s a p p o i n t e d to learn that Imper ia l

B io log is ts a re not i n v o l v e d in the c r ea t i on of the

h u g e M i l l e n n i u m H a m s t e r that wi l l be ev ident ly

be r equ i r ed to p o w e r it.

To comment or contribute: http://come.to/mishmash

7 1 !M

^www«mckinseyxom^-

^www«mckinseyxo,uk)-

^Lngrad_rec@mckinseyxomJ-

2 k x

Felix

Editor. David Rooer*s

Deputy .Mane Nicholnou � (Reviews) ... Joel Lewis

Assi (Layout)

News Andrew Ofori

l-'hi . togropy.

: , .

V-

' • •

Books Russeli Cummei

V,

Nicholaoj, Andy Ofori. Dinesh

I

Lewis, Gus Paul, Dave Edwcrds,

;

Feedback

Felix, The Portacabins, Prince

Consort RcL London' SW7 2BB

URL : w w w . s u . i c . a c u k / F e l i x .

E-mai l : fe l ix (a ) ic .ac .uk

Felix s p r o d u c e d fo r a n d o n

beha l f o f Imper i a l C o l l e g e

U n i o n M e d i a G r o u p a n d i s :

pr in ted a t M C P Li tho L im i ted ,

Uni ts B2 & B 3 , H a t t o n S q u a r e ,

1 6 - 1 6 a B a l d w i n s G a r d e n s ,

L o n d o n f . C I N 7RJ

Felix

A RETURN F R O M THE GRAVE

D e a r D a v e ,

H a v i n g b e c o m e a little f i dge ty

in my s e l f - i m p o s e d r e t i r emen t , I

felt it w a s t i m e to o f fe r my two

' p e n n e t h to the Imper i a l t h r o n g .

Fel ix this y e a r s e e m s to h a v e star t-

e d w e l l a n d w i l l , I a m c o n f i d e n t ,

g o f r o m s t rength to s t rength o v e r

the year . It d o e s s e e m , howeve r ,

that this y e a r ' s c o l u m n s a r e g e n e r -

a t i n g a f e w p r o b l e m s . O f c o u r s e ,

t h a t ' s the re r o l e , but the re a r e

p r o b l e m s a n d the re a r e p r o b l e m s .

Firstly, I mus t fu l ly a g r e e wi th

J o h n Q u a n t r e l l ' s p o i n t a b o u t

a n o n y m i t y , l e a d i n g , I s u s p e c t , to

s o m e c o n f u s i o n , in y o u r e d i t o r i a l .

A s a c o l u m n i s t f o r the p r e v i o u s

f o u r y e a r s , I w o u l d n e v e r d i s a g r e e

w i th the p r o t e c t i o n of s o u r c e s .

H a d I not p r o t e c t e d m i n e , the

V o i c e of R e a s o n w o u l d neve r have

l a s t ed as it d i d . D e s p i t e w i t c h -

h u n t s o f w h i c h J o e M c C a r t h y

w o u l d have b e e n p r o u d , they still

d o n ' t k n o w w h o h e / s h e / i t / t h e y

i s / a r e , s o it 's not a p r o b l e m if

y o u ' r e c a r e f u l . H o w e v e r , that is a

t o t a l l y d i f f e r e n t i s sue t o the

a n o n y m i t y o f a u t h o r s . Y o u a r e , I

fea r , qu i t e w r o n g to s u g g e s t that ' i t

w o u l d i r r e v o c a b l y d a m a g e the

ab i l i t y o f the wr i ters to c o l l e c t

i n f o r m a t i o n if t he i r ident i ty w a s

k n o w n . ' O n the con t ra r y , my e x p e -

r i e n c e s s u g g e s t that it is i m p o s s i -

b le to d o a g o o d j o b in the c o l -

u m n g a m e w i t h o u t o n e ' s ident i ty

b e i n g w i d e l y k n o w n . O v e r the f o u r

yea r s I w a s in the cha i r , I must

h a v e b e e n a p p r o a c h e d by h u n -

d r e d s of p e o p l e , o f f e r i n g i n f o r m a -

t i o n , s u g g e s t i o n s f o r a r t i c l es e tc .

W i t h o u t a n a m e a n d that d e l i g h t -

ful p h o t o , I w o u l d h a v e b e e n

s tu f f ed . T h e r e a r e o n l y t w o s c e n a r -

ios in w h i c h a u t h o r a n o n y m i t y

w o u l d be jus t i f i ed : if the a u t h o r ' s

life o r p l a c e at C o l l e g e w e r e in

j e o p a r d y , in w h i c h c a s e wr i te it

e l s e w h e r e in Fe l ix , o r if the c o l u m n

w e r e s o e x e c r a b l y aw fu l tha t the

a u t h o r d i d not h a v e the guts t o put

his o r h e r n a m e to it. The f o r m e r

ce r t a i n l y hasn ' t a p p l i e d at IC , a n d

it is p r o b a b l y bet te r if I reserve

j u d g e m e n t o n the la t ter p o i n t ,

b e y o n d s a y i n g that I a l w a y s , w i t h -

ou t e x c e p t i o n , u s e d my c o l u m n to

s a v a g e the c r e d i b i l i t y o f a n y

a n o n y m o u s a r t i c l e o r le t ter in

Fe l ix .

S e c o n d l y , I f ee l it necessa r y , at

the risk of s o u n d i n g p a t r o n i s i n g

(mo i ? ) , to o f f e r a little a d v i c e to

the c o l u m n i s t s , B r e a k p o i n t in p a r -

t i cu la r . Y o u s h o u l d h a v e l ea rn t by

n o w that y o u d o N O T , u n d e r a n y

c i r c u m s t a n c e s , a t t a ck I C U o n s p e -

c i f ic , i ssues un l ess y o u r f ac t s a re so

i r r e f u t a b l y w a t e r t i g h t tha t Perry

M a s o n , R u m p o l e a n d K a v a n a g h

t o g e t h e r w o u l d g i ve up a n d g o

h o m e ra the r t h a n c h a l l e n g e y o u .

A n y less t h a n this p o s i t i o n m a k e s

f o r a very t e d i o u s letters p a g e . A

b r o a d b r u s h , bu t f a c t u a l ,

a p p r o a c h wi l l be m u c h m o r e s u c -

c e s s f u l , c o n c e n t r a t i n g o n the

g ross l y ine f f i c i en t b u r e a u c r a c y that

c h o k e s I C U d r i v e n by the m i s g u i d -

e d a i m of ' b e i n g i n c l u s i v e ' , w h i c h

m e a n s a l l o w i n g e v e r y o n e to sit o n

o n e of a t h o u s a n d po in t l e s s c o m -

mit tees that on l y surv ive b e c u a s e

of the u n p a i d status of mos t of

t h e i r m e m b e r s . Less c h a r i t a b l e

sou l s t h a n myse l f h a v e s u g g e s t e d

tha t o u r n e w P r e s i d e n t is no t

exac t l y a Sir J o h n H a r v e y - J o n e s

o n the o r g a n i s a t i o n a l m a n a g e -

m e n t f ron t , s o the last t h i n g she

n e e d s is to h a v e wr i te letters t o

Fe l ix every w e e k .

I w o u l d po i n t ou t that t he r e ' s a

s m a l l d e p a r t m e n t o n c a m p u s that

s e e m s to g e n e r a t e p lenty of m a t e -

ria l f o r c o l u m n i s t s a n d p r o b l e m s

f o r the rest o f IC. Y o u m a y h a v e

h e a r d of it, B r e a k p o i n t ? It's n e a r

the Q u e e n ' s Towe r a n d it 's c a l l e d

the She r f i e l d B u i l d i n g . Its m a c h i -

n a t i o n s a l w a y s use to the b a n e of

a l l o f o u r l i v e s , a n d I d o u b t

t h e y ' v e c h a n g e d m u c h . They mus t

be t h i n k i n g it 's C h r i s t m a s c o m e

ear ly , s o why not , in the m o d i f i e d

w o r d s of H a r r y T r u m a n , c o m e

i n s i de the tent a n d start p i s s i ng

o u t , r a the r t h a n the o t h e r w a y

r o u n d , as y o u have d o n e r e l en t-

lessly to d a t e .

A l l t he best ,

S i m o n B a k e r

A N O N Y M I T Y :

THE DEBATE C O N T I N U E S

D e a r Felix (and Kevin),

O k , so what exactly is the p r o b -

lem p e o p l e have with Kev in . I've

read his c o l u m n s ince it started last

te rm, a n d yes, I have to admi t , it p ro-

v o k e d e m o t i o n . G o o d o n h im say I,

as to p rovoke any sort o f response in

this apathet i c university must m e a n

he is d o i n g some th ing right! ! !

Peop le c o m p l a i n that he slags

off their cou r se , but f r om what I

r e m e m b e r ( cons ider ing I'm a n idiot,

without any b a c k issues of Felix) he

has c o m m e n t e d a b o u t many differ-

ent d isc ip l ines . A l s o , if peop l e are

really stressed with wha t he has writ-

ten , why don ' t they write directly to

h im? O r are they be ing t o o stupid

that they don ' t actua l ly r ead his E-

mai l address at the bot tom of the

p a g e . N o w cal l m e foo l i sh , but is

this there so that p e o p l e c a n contact

h im?

As to f ind ing out w h o m Kev in is,

I think will be rather diff icult, as p i n -

ning h im d o w n to on e p l a ce must be

h a r d ! I say this, b e c a u s e last term he

a t tended s o m e physics lectures (as I

r emember ) , a n d this term he is sitting

in med i c a l lectures - h m m m . This

c o u l d therefore l ead to the c o n c l u -

s ion that Kevin is actua l ly the Rector.

But w o u l d I really l ike to join the rest

of the g a n g a n d jump to c o n c l u -

s ions, rather than take the c o l u m n at

face va lue , the way I think that its

i n t ended !

T E F F H

(A s e c o n d yea r entity)

D e a r D a v e ,

W e med i cs tend to get a b a d

press a n d I think that we are not

g iven e n o u g h credit . W e r e it not for

us, Felix w o u l d have a lot of empty

space a n d a dw i n d l i n g numbers of

readers . After a l l , we tend to feature

prominent ly in every issue a n d it is a

lot eas ie r to g r a b p e o p l e ' s interest by

laying into the med i c s (as we tend to

a rou se a lot of passion) than it is to

under take decen t , investigative jour-

The deadline for letters intended for publication is Wednesday 12 noon - drop into the porta-

cabins or email felix@ic.ac.uk. Letters may be edited for length but not grammar or spelling.

1 k 3

O h dear , the Ed i to r is h igh l y t

at the m o m e n t , f i n i s h i n g

i , . .v lnch l eaves me to v.

this h igh l y a n o n y m o u s guest <

t o r i a l .

V H A T ' S A N ED ITOP IA I I

N o r m a l l y a n ed i t o r i a l is a cht i

to ref lect u p o n t f iose issues rai

w i th in the p a g e s of the p u b l i

t i o n a n d use ih is pos i t i on of p

s e c t i o n s 1 hat the true b a r g a i n s

a r e t o be f o u n d . Y o u c a n usua l l y

pii k up d e c e n t ( f j ' s fot a b o u t € 3

d u e to the b l a n k e t p r i c i n g po l i cy .

H o w e v e t it va r i es f r o m o n e s h o p

to a n o t h e r a n d I h a ve p e r s o n a l l y

p i c k e d u p " T h e C u l t of An t a n d

[)( c " for on l y ' ., as!

V i d e o s a r e s i m i l a r l y p r i c e d and; :

this is a g o o d p l a c e to p i c k up a l l

na l i sm in a n attempt to write well-

b a l a n c e d informat ive p ieces .

You refuse to n a m e the writer of

BreakPoint because " n o self-respect-

ing Edi tor . . .would de l iberate ly reveal

the identity of a n a n o n y m o u s

source . . .as it w o u l d i r revocably d a m -

a g e the abil ity of the writers to co l l ec t

i n f o r m a t i o n if the i r ident i ty w a s

k n o w n " . O h , c o m e o n . Its hardly

M I 5 . I'm sure you r ' b l o w i n g their

cove r ' will not result in t hem be ing

cap tured a n d tortured with pliers

until they reveal g o v e r n m e n t secrets.

I assure you that w e won ' t send the

heavies to d o them over. W e w o u l d

just like to see wh i ch pathet ic little

creature it is that g o e s r ound p e d -

dl ing half-truths a n d p r o p a g a n d a .

I s e e m to recal l that M i s h - M a s h

was o n c e a c c o m p a n i e d by s o m e

weird l ook ing kid with g lasses . W h o

is he? I a s s u m e he is not a m e d i c so

why is he at C h a r i n g C r o s s for l ec-

tures? N o n e of us bother g o i n g . I

f ind his c o n d e s c e n d i n g tone to be

highly irritating a n d his use o f wo rds

such as ' rowdy w a n n a b e doc to r s '

annoy ing . The vast majority of us

ARE g o i n g to be doc tors . I t ake it that

he has s o m e future p lans t o o , in

wh ich case he must be a snide

w a n n a b e someth ing-or -other.

I a m g l ad that T im Tra i lor is stick-

ing to his w o r d in trying to keep

B U S A hybr id entry a n d to prevent the

sale of Tedd ing ton .Hybr id entry (or

dua l entry if it c o m e s to that) is

essential as otherwise w e wil l e n d

with a few elite t eams p lay ing o n a

W e d n e s d a y whilst those w h o d o not

m a k e the cut kick their heels . C a n I

remind B U S A a b o u t " spor t for a l l " ?

G i v e n that the p roceeds of the

'secret ' sa le of Tedd ing ton will be

insufficient to he lp f und the Sports

Cen t r e , c a n I p r o p o s e a n al ternat ive.

In 5 years the grave l extract ion at

Ha r l i ng ton will be c o m p l e t e , f ree ing

up g o d knows h o w m an y lucrative

acres in a perfect d e v e l o p m e n t spot

for Hea th row Termina l Five. This wil l

sell f o r many, m an y t imes what we

w o u l d get for Tedd ing ton . There is

r o o m e n o u g h for a l l IC a n d I C S M

sports t eams at C o b h a m as G K T are

leav ing . There fore , we shou ld use

reserves for the m o m e n t then sell

Ha r l i ng ton , keep Tedd ing ton , get a

new Sports Cen t r e a n d al l m o v e to

C o b h a m .

Everyone 's a winner.

K a s h Akhtar ,

4th yea r M e d i c i n e

WATERSTONES. A H E M .

D e a r D a v e ,

Th is w e e k , I f o u n d myself in

n e e d of a t ex tbook . Desp i te there

b e i n g a " c o n v e n i e n t " b r a n c h of

Wa t e r s tones l o c a t e d o n c a m p u s , I

f ind buy ing t ex tbooks a f rustrat ing

a n d t i r e s o m e e x p e r i e n c e . W h y ?

B e c a u s e m o r e o f t en t h a n n o t ,

Wa t e r s tones d o not s tock the b o o k s

I r equ i r e - there is n o t h i n g p e c u l i a r

a b o u t these b o o k s ; i n d e e d they a re

t o p o n my d e p a r t m e n t ' s list of p re-

s c r i b e d texts a n d have b e e n f o r

m a n y years . M o r e o v e r , o r d e r i n g a

b o o k f r o m Wa te r s tones on l y a d d s

t o the f rus t ra t ion , a n d on two o c c a -

s ions prev ious ly , it t o o k over a

m o n t h fo r t h e m to o b t a i n a s ing le

c o p y o f a we l l -known a n d p o p u l a r

t ex tbook .

The o l d I C U b o o k - s h o p ' g u a r -

a n t e e d� to stock

���� ��� t ex tbook

p r e s c r i b e d by a l l a c a d e m i c d e p a r t -

ments at Imper i a l , a n d w h a t d o

Wa te r s tones of fer? A m i sh-mash of

" t r e n d y " nove l s a n d " T h e Joint-

Ro l l i ng H a n d b o o k " - a pa the t i c

a n d pa t ron i s i ng a t tempt to w o o

s tudents , a n d h igh ly i n a p p r o p r i a t e ,

g i v e n c o l l e g e ' s ze ro- to l e r ance p o l -

icy t owa rds d r u g s .

Wh i l s t there is m u c h s c o p e fo r

p r i v a t e e n t e r p r i s e o n c a m p u s ,

m a n y t h o u g h t it c rass to s c r a p the

I C U B o o k - s h o p , wh i ch h a d b e e n

p r o v i d i n g a r e l i ab l e a n d ef f ic ient

serv ice to students fo r years . Two

years after o p e n i n g , Wa te r s tones

have still no t l e a r n e d f r o m thei r

m is takes , a n d con t i nue to p r o v i d e

a second-ra te serv ice .

G e o f f H e w i c k ( C o m p u t i n g 4)

A N D FINALLY...

D e a r Sir,

I a m d i s tu rbed to not i ce that ,

as yet, you d o not s e e m to have

p u b l i s h e d a s i ng l e ar t ic le p r o m o t -

ing the l e g a l i s a t i o n of c a n n a b i s .

B a s e d o n the con ten t of p rev ious

years I h a d c o m e to be l i eve that

l e g a l i s a t i o n w a s a key Fel ix pol icy .

H a v e I b e e n m i s i n f o r m e d ?

Yours ,

A n o n

I c o u l d talk a b o u t a var ie ty of

t h ings : m e d i c s , spo r t s , a n o n y m i t y ,

C o l l i q i • '< tt r s tones , d m '

just f r o m the letters p a g e . H o w e v -

e r I a m i n s t ead g o i n g to u s e th is

a u g u s t p l a t f o r m fo r the o the r e d i -

t o r i a l r ight . Tha t of w i b b l i n g o n

a b o u t t h o s e th ings c l o s e t o my

o w n hear t , c h e e s e , C a s h C o n -

verters a n d h o r r o r f i lms .

C H E E S E

W a t c h i n g the news o n the TV last

n i gh t a " t y p i c a l " Br i t ish s h o p p e r

w a s a s k e d w h e t h e r they w o u l d

b o y c o t t F r e n c h f o o d in r e s p o n s e

t o the i r b a n n i n g o f Br i t i sh beef .

T h e y r e p l i e d that they w o u l d - but

h o w c o u l d they. I m e a n i m a g i n e a

w o r l d w i t h o u t b r i e , c a m e m b e r t ,

r o q u e f o r t o r the m u l t i t u d e o f

o t h e r c h e e s e s ( i gno re that r ank

g o a t ' s c h e e s e t h o u g h ) that w e

g l ee fu l l y i m p o r t f r o m o u r F r e n c h

b r e t h r e n . C a n y o u truly i m a g i n e

a n a l t e rna t i ve to a b r i e & t o m a t o

b a g u e t t e at c e r t a i n t i m e s ? N o w ,

to a c e r t a i n extent the soft c h e e s e

g a p c a n be f i l l ed by I ta l ian c l a s -

s ics s u c h as d o l c e l a t t e , c a m b a z o -

l a a n d g o r g o n z o l a b u t b l u e

c h e e s e is not to e v e r y o n e ' s l i k i n g .

I p e r s o n a l l y w i l l no t n o w b e s h o p -

p i n g at B u d g e n s o r S o m e r f i e l d s ,

so w e ' l l see h o w they l ike tha t !

B A R G A I N S

e x p e r i e n c e d t h e a w e s o m e

de l i gh t s of this c h a i n of s h o p s .

T h e s e s tores a r e h e a v e n f o r t h o s e

l o o k i n g f o r e l e c t r o n i c a l b a r g a i n s .

T h e p r i c e s f o r T V ' s , v i d e o s , Hi-F i

e q u i p m e n t a n d c o m p u t e r s a r e a l l

O K b u t it is in t h e v i d e o a n d C D

W i t h the r e- r e l ea se o f T h e E x o r -

cist a n d the h y p e s u r r o u n d i n g the

B l a i r W i t c h P r o j e c t ( cu r r en t l y

a v a i l a b l e o n D V D o r p i r a t e

C D / v i d e o n e a r you ) h o r r o r is

o n c e a g a i n at the c i n e m a . N o w , I

c a n w h o l e h e a r t e d l y r e c o m m e n d

J o h n C a r p e n t e r ' s V a m p i r e s

( d e s p i t e the l u k e w a r m r e v i e w

s a w t x o r c i s t o r l e x a s

a w M a s s a c r e ( o n e of the

i s t u rb i ng - b u t no t s c a r y -

of a l l t ime ) . W h a t y o u

be w a t c h i n g V a m p i r e s f o r

f an t a s t i c " m a n cut in t w o

c e " a n d J a m e s W o o d ' s

b l e " t r u c k / s t a k e g u n " . Th i s

T H E E N D

A h h , stil l s p a c e to w r

f i n i s h e d o n m y threi

c h o i c e . It h a s t a k e n

t h a n it s h o u l d d o tc

( an d it 's not very g<

c o n g r a t u l a t i o n s g o tc

; I'll f i n i sh of f by s a y i n g that

are p r o b a b l y m o r e i m p o r -

ings to w o r r y a b o u t in this

t h a n spor t s g r o u n d s o r the

All complaints should be addressed to the Editor. If no satisfactory

reply is received, contact ICU Exec via the Union President

MONDAY STANDING ROOM ONLY LIVERPOOL v BRADFORD 8pm DAVINCI'S

TUESDAY

S T A Q U I Z N I G H T ^ WIN £50 CASH OR A CRATE OF LAGER. 8PM i J i n c i B

Classic party tunes in dBs, Cocktail Bar & Chill out Room

C O THURSDAY

A NIGHT FOR SWINGERS. 5-11.

^ BIB w m m HI WORLD CUP RUGBY

C O

\hll K DM 18PMICREEN 3rd PLACE PLAYOFF 7pm

FRIDAY

ftura

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SATURDAY WORLD CUP RUGBY ON THE BIG SCREEN - THE FINAL 3pm DAVINCI'S

i C V IT'S YOUR UNION - BE PART OF IT IMPkRIAI. COl.LI'Xili UNION

yr

z

y

s l

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s

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g

d A i

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t n

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frequency N / \

Right, first o f a l l s t op r e a d -

ing this c o l u m n a n d sort

yourse l f out a n entry in the

D e a t h in V e g a s c o m p e t i t i o n

d e t a i l e d in the c o l u m n

o p p o s i t e . A n d d o it now.

Yes, now. N O W .

O k a y , y o u ' v e d o n e it, so

n o w let 's cha t a b o u t tunes .

Start ing this w e e k ' s m u s i c is

a d u o of w o n d e r f u l d i v a s ,

G a b r i e l l e a n d M a c y G r a y .

T h e n after s o m e C h a r l a t a n s

a c t i o n , we have a c h a t to

T im f r o m D e a t h in V e g a s

a n d there ' s that c o m p e t i t i o n

(you have en te red haven ' t

you? )

... frequency...

... music for you...

After the adver ts w e ' r e b a c k

with a sp l a sh of s i n g l e s , a

qu i ck EP a n d then the re ' s the

first ins ta l lment of J azz in f re-

q u e n c y - a n d a b o u t t ime t o o

(b l ame m e fo r this). Anyway ,

f o l l o w i n g this c o l u m n we ' l l

h o p e f u l l y be s o r t i n g o u t

s o m e o t h e r s p e c i a l i s e d

m u s i c c o l u m n s f o r y o u r

r e a d i n g p l e a su r e in the not

too d is tant fu ture . By the

way, d o e s a n y o n e w a n t to

write a b o u t i nd ie me ta l o r

m a y b e even fo lk m u s i c ?

As wel l as o u r b i g D e a t h in

V e g a s b l a g , the o the r g rea t

event in this w e e k ' s f r e q u e n -

cy is a p o e m in o u r c l u b b i n g

sec t i on . A scep t i c d o u b t e d its

o r i g i n , but hey I'm a be l i e ve r

so never m i n d any of that

a n d r e ad o n . . .

Macy Gray

On How Life Is

(Epic)

This is the debut a l b u m f rom 29-year-old soul s inger M a c y Gray , currently

Amer i ca ' s "hottest sensat ion" , who's beg inn ing to replicate the attention over

here a n d th roughout Europe . H e r unusua l vo ice has mostly been c o m p a r e d

to Billie Ho l iday , but that impl ies it to be rather o ld-fash ioned. In truth, there

is a l so the sound of s o m e o n e like T ina Turner in her '60's heyday. G r a y refus-

es to be p i g e o n h o l e d but if push ing stupid birds into smal l open ings is your

thing then her mus ic w o u l d best be descr ibed as raw soul with large chunks

of h ip-hop , rock, r 'h b a n d funk thrown in. In short, an eclectic concoc t i on

of beats a n d me lod ies .

Born with a vo ice that suggested she was the offspring of Tricky a n d M a r g e

S i m p s o n , she rarely spoke for fear of be ing teased . It was only after mov ing

to Los Ange l e s to join a f i lm schoo l that she b e g a n songwrit ing with fr iends.

W h e n singers for her songs didn't a p p e a r she was reluctantly roped in . .

Mus i c i ans hear ing the tape were taken by her un ique s inging vo ice : equa l

parts scat, rap a n d sweet sou l . She was s n a p p e d up by Epic early last year

a n d was given the un ique opportunity of g o i n g on nat ionwide tours before

the release of any record ings .

We l l , that's a nice fairy tale story fo l low ing the usual rags-to-riches m o u l d ,

but is her a l b u m m u c h c o p ? First track W h y Didn't You C a l l M e sets the scene

nicely - a p l ead ing soul/rock voca l with lush ha rmon ies in the back ing voca ls

(provided by G r a y herself) over funky h ip-hop beats. Whi lst the lyrics hint at

despera t ion , there's a genera l g o o d vibe running through this song . She turns

as funky as J ames Brown o n the huge Sex-O-Mat i c Venus Freak, spitting out

her lustful words like a disgrunt led Shirley Bassey. G i v e n that she c la ims al l

her lyrics are based o n persona l exper iences , the track I've C o m m i t t e d M u r -

der - abou t ki l l ing her boyfriend's boss as revenge for firing h im - is more

than a bit worry ing. Undoubted l y the a lbum's highl ight, however, is her

break through single I Try. Its steady c l imb into the U K Top Ten proves the

song's lasting a p p e a l . Its style is rather different to other tracks on O n H o w

Life Is, perhaps because it is on e of the few songs where G r a y wrote the

mus i c as well as the lyrics. Performed in the m a n n e r of a 7 0 ' s starlet, I Try

swells a n d scrambles its way to a r ip-roaring chorus , G r a y battl ing between

her two voca l tracks as if the g o o d and evil in her mind are both trying to

m a k e themselves hea rd .

If the a l b u m had a b a d point it w o u l d be that, while e a c h track c o m b i n e s a

variety of styles there is not e n o u g h difference between the actua l songs . But

as a debut a l b u m , it is more than sufficient a n d hints at a bright future.

Ryetar

Gabrielle

Rise

(WEA)

This is Gabr ie l l e ' s third a l b u m a n d def i-

nitely her best. Whi lst the first a l b u m c o n -

ta ined such 'gems' as D r e a m s a n d the sec-

o n d con ta ined noth ing m e m o r a b l e at a l l ,

it c o u l d never be said that her vo i ce was

anything less than excellent. The third

a l b u m finally sees her mature into the style

that suits her vo i ce best. That style is a

voice-driven crossover between soul and

p o p a n d works well for most of the tracks

on this record . A l o n g with these three

a l b u m s G a b r i e l l e seems to have under-

g o n e three i m a g e changes to suit the

c h a n g e in style of e a c h . She has m o v e d

f rom the eyepatched record c o m p a n y driv-

en ha rd w o m a n n e e d i n g g i m m i c k s ,

through relative 'normality' (= uninspiring)

to where she is now. That p lace is the very

b ig ha i red soul q u e e n look that looks as if

it's m o d e l l e d o n D i a n a Ross

O n e of the ma in p rob l em s with this a l b u m

is that there is noth ing to pick out lyrically

between the tracks - the two variat ions

seem to be 'we're in love, it's perfect' a n d

'we were in love but n o w we're not a n d it's

your fault 1. Wh i l e these may have their

p l ace in the song-writ ing wor ld they c a n

be , a n d many t imes have b e e n , much

more inspir ing than the lyrics f ound here.

However , Gabr ie l l e ' s vo i ce m a n a g e s to

d r a g them f rom awfulness a n d prope l

them towards a height where you can just

a b o u t let their crossness sl ide.

Wh i l e there is noth ing really outstanding

o n this a l b u m the overa l l quality is g o o d .

Unfortunately when c o m p a r e d to other

records such as that f rom M a c y G r a y it just

can't ho ld its a p p e a l a n d is easily ec l ipsed .

Tim

1 c

frequency N / \

The Charlatans

Us and Us Only

(Universal)

Us and Us Only is the fo l low up

to the excel lent Telliri Stories

a l b u m . The Cha r l a t ans are sur-

prisingly the only real survivors of

the M a n c h e s t e r scene (which

inc luded the Stone Roses a n d

the H a p p y M o n d a y s ) , s o m e -

thing that is reflected in the c o n -

f idence of the a lbum's title.

Wh i l e a n u m b e r of the songs ,

like A H o u s e Is Not A Home

quite strongly recal l their ear l ier

mater ia l (in this case the country

rock of North Country Boy), this

is not necessari ly such a b a d

thing. Indeed, there are a l so

more b o l d , exper imenta l tracks

not least the mightily impress ive

s ingle, Forever. Bu i ld ing slowly

f rom a bass-led intro into a great

universal love s o n g , it is o n e of

the best songs they have r e c o r d -

ed . It brings to m i n d the Stones

a n d Pr ima l S c r e a m , yet still

mainta ins their fairly un ique

sound of guitars b l end ing s e a m -

lessly with H a m m o n d g rooves .

O n e g rumb le is pe rhaps that the

majority of the songs are a little

too d o w n t e m p o . There a l so

aren't really any obv ious s ingles

in the vein of say O n e To Anoth-

er. Yet, whi le many of their m o r e

i l lustr ious peers have e i ther

f aded o r are s tumbl ing (e.g. the

Roses a n d Oas i s ) , the C h a r l a -

tans cont inue to consistently p ro-

duce g o o d a lbums .

Max

Death in Vegas

Interview-A Chat With Tim

Dea th in Vegas's recent a l b u m , The C o n t i n o Sessions, was a del ic ious

mixed b a g of surprises. Their assoc ia t ion with the Heavenly label and c lub

nights w o u l d p robab l y l ead on e to expect a nice poppy a l b u m full of

dancey tracks and a real feel g o o d factor. O n listening t h ou g h , The C o n -

tino Sessions is far f rom a p o p record , T im f rom the band exp la ined when

Felix writer Boycey had a quick chat with him last week . . .

Boycey: So what's al l this Heveanly Soc i a l , big beat stuff about ? It seems

to m e that you boys have more than just a few musica l sounds inf luencing

your beats. Please exp la in .

Tim: The Heaven ly Soc ia l was never abou t big beat music . The music p o l -

icy was to play g o o d music of any genre as long as it was g o o d . There

was house , rap , sou l , ind ie , absolutely anything. Those c lub nights were

bril l iant. S o m e of the DJs at the Big Beat Bout ique c lub in Brighton had a

s imi lar pol icy so I suppose that was where the assoc ia t ion started. Big beat

mus i c is mus ic by numbers t h ou g h . Pretty much in one ear and out the

other. A n y o n e cou ld m a k e a n okay b ig beat track with a few hours on a

g o o d computer . Wi th Death in Vegas , myself and Richard try to d o quite

a bit more . W e trying to m a k e mus ic that pushes back barriers. I'm thirty

eight a n d Richard is late twenties so we've been a r o u n d for a whi le

Boycey: Thirty-eight? That's quite o ld for a p o p star.

Tim: I've d o n e a lot of different things in my t ime, a n d my exper iences have

c h a n g e d m e a lot. I used to want to be a fish farmer, and then s o m e work

exper ience showed m e that fish farmers were all Ba rbour wear ing uppe r

class tossers. I've a lso lived a few years of h edon i s m and b e d l a m . I used

to m a k e regular trips to A m s t e r d a m , and a l though I've c a l m e d d o w n a lot,

I still think the p lace is great. I love little picturesque Eu ropean cities.

Boycey: So will on e ot these cities be your cho i ce for your m a d mi l len ium

party, o r will you be DJ ing a r o u n d the wor ld?

Tim: There's this little is land just off the west coast of Scot land ca l led Beaut,

a n d I think I'll be there with a few c lose fr iends. I can't be arsed with m a k -

ing a b ig dea l of it so I'm opt ing out. I suppose it's my a g e a g a i n . I'm not

bor ing really! It's a l so just after the tour we ' re d o i n g so it will be g o o d to

be ab l e to relax

Boycey : A n d finally before we run out of space , it's Felix cheesy quest ion

t ime W e all k n o w that there ain't no party like a n S-C lub Party, so w h o

w o u l d it be Rache l , H a n n a h , Jo o r the other o n e ?

Tim: Sorry mate , I haven't got a c lue what you're on about .

Boycey spoke to Tim f rom Death in Vegas courtesy of C a r l i n g

Death in Vegas's s e c o n d a l b u m The Contino Sessions is out now

Massive Competition!

10 tickets, 10 t-shirts,

beer + a whole lot more

Q u i t e h o w this has h a p p e n e d n o o n e is

su re , but s o m e h o w this w e e k we ' v e m a n -

a g e d o u r b igges t b l a g eve r at Felix

M u s i c . I s u p p o s e s o m e m igh t ca l l it luck ,

s o m e might ca l l it fate a n d s o m e may

even sugges t t h a i it's a l ie. But it 's not

a n d it 's g rea t .

The w i n n e r ge t ' s 10 free tickets to see

D e a t h in V e g a s o n the 7th N o v e m b e r at

S h e p h e r d ' s Bush E m p i r e , ten free T-shirts

a n d a b ig cra te of larger .

Phew ! Tha t ' s e n o u g h stuff f o r even the

saddes t f o o l to m a k e s o m e f r iends - o r

perfect if you ' r e the mos t p o p u l a r boy o r

gir l o n the b l o c k . Runners up prizes

r a n g e f r o m m o r e b e e r to t-shirts to b a g s ,

a n d there ' s t onnes so eve r yone s h o u l d

enter.

W h a t ' s m o r e is that the q u e s t i o n is easy

(the a n s w e r is in the ar t ic le to the left a n d

is p i c k e d out in b o l d ) , s o you ' ve n o

excuse w h a t s o e v e r fo r m i s s i ng out .

To enter s imp ly a n s w e r the q u e s t i o n

b e l o w a n d ge t y o u r a n s w e r s to

f e l i x @ i c . a c . u k o r p o p into the o f f i ce with

you r a n s w e r o n a free p o s t c a r d f r o m the

U n i o n a n d p o p it in the bo x with your

n a m e o n it. M o r e t han n i ce !

What

Death Vegas's

... a n d don ' t f o rge t to enter ! Howeve r ,

just in case you r entry d o e s n ' t w in you a

M A S S I V E n ight out o n the C a r l i n g Pre-

m i e r tour, you c o u l d a lways pay fo r you r-

self, but that w o u l d n ' t be as m u c h f un .

W o u l d it?

R I 1

.1

m m m 0 :

h

s 1 mi J 1

c x

frequency * A

Robbie Williams

She's The One / It's

Only Us

Recent ly R o b b i e has

mostly been head l in ing

stadiums - h o w d id that

h a p p e n ? O f this d o u b l e

A s ide, It's Only Us is just

a ve rage , but She's The

One is a n in fec t ious ,

p i ano- led love s o n g in

the Angels ve in , w h i c h ,

whi le hardly essential lis-

t e n i n g , wi l l p l e a se his

fans even more than a

cance l l ed lecture w o u l d

your ave rage IC student.

Ocean Colour Scene

So Low

(Island)

S o L o w f inds the O c e a n C o l o u r

S c e n e boys c l ea r l y in b a l l a d m o d e .

W h i l e pe r sona l l y I prefer t hem w h e n

they cut l o o s e , l ike o n Hundred Mile

High City, this is a we l l written s o n g

w i th n i c e v o c a l h a r m o n i e s a n d

unde r s t a t ed gu i tars . They've s h o w n

in the past t h o u g h that they're c a p a -

ble of d o i n g this type of s o n g far bet-

ter t h a n this , so a bit of a d i s a p p o i n t -

ment al l t o l d .

Geneva

Dollars in the heavens

(Nude)

G e n e v a return after a two year hiatus

with another t rademark soar ing ep ic .

The f a m i l i a r i ng red ien ts of c h o r a l

voca l s , high produc t ion va lues , a n d

sh immer ing celestial guitars c o m b i n e to

create a mov ing a n d thoughtful racket.

Mus ica l l y Dollars In The Heavens is not

a mi l l ion miles f rom early Suede , but

whilst their labe l mates pedd le the

sound of the gutter, G e n e v a br ing us

someth ing a bit more stellar.

ID

Shack

Pull Together

(Destiny)

A c lear single of the week

for me . Taken f rom the

rather w o n d e r f u l HMS

Fable, Pull Together is a

st irr ing, an them i c s o n g

with a great sentiment of

t a k i n g o n the w o r l d

together. It's the kind of

s o n g that b a n d s l ike

O C S , w h o they are sup-

port ing, w o u l d kill to write

Inhale

Feed

(Jam Inc)

F rom the m o m e n t y o u

hea r the o p e n i n g riff

you k n o w wha t you ' re

in fo r with this - angs t

rock . W h i l e they m a y

a d d s o m e k e y b o a r d s to

the m i x , there ' s n o

d e n y i n g tha t I nha l e

bas i ca l l y try p o o r l y to

r ep l i c a t e the l ikes of

N i r v a n a a n d R a d i o -

h e a d but w i t h o u t

a d d i n g a n y t h i n g of

the i r o w n . U n i n s p i r i n g .

The Lightning Seeds

Life's Too Short

(Epic)

A d e e p l y une th i ca l expe r imen t by M r

B r o u d i e , in w h i c h he sees fit to infect

o n e of his i n f a m o u s p o p c h o o n s

with the virus of d i s c o . The result is

a p r e d i c t a b l y s l i ck a n d s o u l l e s s

p r o d u c t in w h i c h the g rea t s a g e

o p e n s o u r m i n d s to his take o n life

the un iverse a n d every th ing . W a r n -

i n g : t hose pos s e s s i n g a c o n v e n t i o n -

al m o r a l o u t l o o k may be o f f e n d e d

' by the unsett l ing subtext of i n ces tu-

ous buggery .

Morgan

Miss Parker

(Source)

In w h i c h M o r g a n m a n a g e s to stuff a

fa i r p l e t ho r a of i deas into less t han

three minutes . S t range C a r i b b e a n

f l a v o u r e d o r g a n work u n d e r p i n n e d

by s o m e su i tab ly l a i d-back beats -

o n t o p we get the m u s i n g s of little

M o r g a n junior. M o r g a n sees fit to

th row in bits of b rass , s t r ings, stutter-

ing guitar , a n d un iden t i f i ab l e e l e c -

t r o n i c n o i s e w h e n a p p r o p r i a t e .

M o s t p l eas ing l y of a l l , he f inds r o o m

fo r p s e u d o - t h e r e m i n m e a n d e r i n g s

a n d a worthy bass l i ne .

Stereosister

Shamefaced

(Freakout records)

If this b a n d were p l a y -

ing in a p u b they c o u l d

be f o rg i v en as a b u n c h

of b l o k e s h a v i n g a

l a u g h . Un fo r tuna te l y ,

as s o m e c o k e d - u p

r e c o r d e x e c u t i v e h a s

d e c i d e d to u n l e a s h the i r

a r t i s t i c o u t p u t o n a

wea ry p u b l i c I fee l it my

duty to p r o v i d e a w a r n -

i n g . D o not u n d e r any

c i r c u m s t a n c e s buy this

i n s i p i d , m o r o n i c , de r i v -

ative w a n k . Like the

S e a h o r s e s c o v e r i n g the

Wonders tu f f .

.Singles

by

Michael...

1 c

Urusei Yatsura

Yon Kyoku In EP

(limit break)

Urusei Yatsura are o n e of

those bands w h o shou ld be

amaz ing l y popular , but no-

one's ever hea rd of t hem.

Imagine, if you wi l l , the a t m os -

phere in an intimate venue

when this b a n d , the superb

Scottish successor to the Pix-

ies, hits the stage letting fly

with viciously g o o d alternative

rock. The songs Kewpies Like

Wa te rme lon a n d S la in By Elf

have a lyrical sillyness not seen

s ince Terrorv is ion 's D o g

C h e w e d The H a n d l e , bely ing

the e m o t i o n a l m e s s a g e

beneath .

This latest EP is all that, yet a

little m o r e - da r e I say -

mature? It takes a new d i rec-

tion like the proverb ia l fresh

new pa i r of pants ; strange at

first, then just b e c o m e s a part

of y o u . Kayt ron ica is the first

track a n d the most t rad i t iona l-

ly Yatsura with s o m e fami l i a r

h igh p i tch t w a n g i n g . Still

Exp lod ing eases us into new

u n e x p l o r e d terr i tory a n d

sounds suspic iously like their

fe l low Scots, Idlewild. Next up ,

the acoust i c , N o b o d y knows

we're Stars is sensitive a n d

mel low, if a little frustrated. W e

finish on M o t h e r of the M B K , a

very unusua l s o n g wh ich c a n

only be desc r ibed as be ing

like a superpos i t ion (please

don't hit me , please) of the

other three songs .

H a r d y

frequency . A

9

Talking All That Jazz

London Jazz Festival -12 to 21 November

You have to a d m i t that jazz is best en j o ye d w h e n l is tened to in a s m a l l ,

noisy, s m o k y c l u b , o v e r c r o w d e d by sexy a n d c lassy c o u p l e s . H o w e v e r ,

s o m e artists' i n t e rn a t i on a l success m e a n s they c a n on ly p e r f o r m in b i g

c o n c e r t ha l l s o n the i r w o r l d t o u r s ; a n d that m e a n s n o a t m o s p h e r e ,

l a ck of style e t c . . . doesn ' t it? W e l l , m a y b e not : there was a C u b a n

B o n a n z a at the B a r b i c a n H a l l o n Fr iday 15th with the b a n d s r e s p o n -

s ib l e f o r the s o u n d t rack of the h igh ly success fu l f i lm ' B u e n a V i s t a

S o c i a l C l u b ' .

They m a y have b e e n a r o u n d 5 0 years o l d o n a v e r a g e , but the m u s i c

w a s f a b u l o u s . The rhythms were i r res ist ib le a n d most of the c r o w d

p rog res s i v e l y s tar ted d a n c i n g in the a i s l es ! F u r t h e r m o r e , at the e n d of

the f i e s t a 1 , the b a n d inv i ted s o m e of the c r o w d to d a n c e on s t age . The

C u b a n f ire h a d sent the B a r b i c a n ha l l o n a o n e way trip to S a n t i a g o !

Th is p roves that jazz conce r t s don ' t h a ve to be r e p e n t a n c e , a n d m o r e

impor t an t l y , they're the on l y way to l isten to the best m u s i c i a n s a l i v e !

A n d tha t ' s not e x a g g e r a t i n g .

That 's why you s h o u l d try a n d get t ickets to s o m e of the acts o n o f fe r

at the L o n d o n J azz Fest iva l in N o v e m b e r . The Z a w i n u l S y n d i c a t e ,

B r a n d f o r d M a r s a l i s , D i a n n e Reeves a n d Taj M a h a l a re s o m e of the

jazz l e g e n d s c o m i n g to L o n d o n , a n d they wi l l assist Brit ish f ront s c e n e

artists l ike C o u r t n e y P ine a n d A n d y S h e p p a r d in o f f e r i ng s imp ly the

best jazz conce r t s y o u c a n get .

T h e two acts that wi l l steal the s h o w , a r e : D i a n n e Reeves a n d J o e Z a w -

i n u l . D i a n n e Reeves is a n o t h e r o n e of these artists w h o c a n set any

c o n c e r t ha l l o n f i r e ; a n d so she d i d a yea r a g o at the Roya l Fest iva l

H a l l , p a c k e d with y o u n g b l a c k w o m e n w h o cou ldn ' t s top exp res s i ng

the i r love f o r the m u s i c . H e r v o i c e is i r res is t ib le , he r scat i m p r o v i s a -

t ions w o u l d m a k e a p a r a l y z e d 90-yea r-o ld s t and up a n d d a n c e , a n d

her s o n g s a b o u t f i gh t i ng f o r surv iva l a n d b e i n g s t rong m a k e he r s h o w

u n m i s s a b l e bo th f o r the m u s i c a n d fo r the i deas c o n v e y e d . J o e Z a w -

i n u l , k e y b o a r d i s t f o u n d e r of the g r o u n d b r e a k i n g g r o u p 'Wea the r

Report ' , mixes funk , r o ck , s a m p l e s a n d jazz to revive M i l e Dav i s ' e l e c -

tric p e r i o d . H is m u s i c is very u p b e a t , a n d I p r o m i s e y o u , you won ' t

s l e ep t h r o u g h that o n e !

T h e s e c o n c e r t s aren ' t exact ly c h e a p , a n d y o u have to b o o k in a d v a n c e

to ge t the best seats f o r the lowest p r i c e s ; but n o jazz-fan s h o u l d miss

t h e m . N i c e .

Etienne

H e r e ' s a list o f the c h o i c e s t cuts f r o m the

L o n d o n J azz Fest iva l . H o p e f u l l y I'll be

m a k i n g it to m o r e t han just a few of

these so m a y b e I'll see you there?

G r e a t !

14th November

Courtney Pine @ Hammersmith Apollo

The t o r c h b e a r e r of British J azz in recent

years . G u e s t s wi l l b r i n g jazz a n d hip-

h o p f r o m bo th s ides of the A t l an t i c .

14th November

Khaled @ Royal Festival Hall

The t o w e r i n g f igure of r a i . A p r o m i s i n g

b luesy n ight with exot i c f l avo rs .

J5fh November

Brandford Marsalis @ Royal Festival Hall

A rare L o n d o n a p p e a r a n c e f o r the

y o u n g sax l e g e n d , p r o m o t i n g his p h e -

n o m e n a l last r e l e a se : ' Requ i em ' .

16th November

The Zawinul Syndicate @ Barbican Centre

See ar t i c le

16th November

Taj Mahal @ Royal Festival Hall

T h e A m e r i c a n b lues l e g e n d in a f a s c i -

na t ing adven tu r e b e t w e e n b lues a n d his

A f r i c a n roots .

20th November

Andy Sheppard @ Royal Festival Hall

C a r l a B ley a n d S teve S w a l l o w wi l l

a c c o m p a n y the s u p e r b sax player. Three

m u s i c i a n s at the t o p of the i r art.

2?sf November

Dianne Reeves @ Royal festival Hall

See ar t i c le .

Etienne

c x

frequency * A i r ~ i j

I til i l | l : i r ~ i

Planet V

@ Fabric

The o p e n i n g n ight at o n e of

London ' s newly b i l l ed 'super-

c lubs ' w a s a d r u m - n - b a s s

s p e c i a l , w i th p o s s i b l y the

largest n u m b e r of DJ's o n

any l ine up this year. First up

was O p t i c a l , w h o p l a y e d his

cus tomary h a r d bass l i nes . It

was o b v i o u s that there was

n o such th ing as a w a r m up

here : the c r o w d was h a v i n g

it f r o m the start.

The c l u b w a s split into three

r o o m s . Two w e r e p l a y i n g

d rum-n-bass , with the th i rd

r o o m p l a y i ng host to s o m e

of the finest h i p - h o p a n d

g a r a g e DJ's a r o u n d . T h e

s e c o n d r o o m has w i thou t

d o u b t a l r e a d y b e c o m e o n e

of the largest a t t rac t ions of

Fab r i c : u n d e r n e a t h the f l o o r

is a set of sp r i ng l o a d e d sub-

w o o f e r s , w h i c h m a k e the

f l o o r v ibra te with the bass .

This t h ing w a s o n a n o t h e r

l eve l , a n d w h e n Ron i S ize

d r o p p e d the beats the f l o o r

went m a d .

Top pe r fo rmers of the n ight

were A d a m F a n d J . M a j i k ,

w h o p l a y e d to a p a c k e d

m a i n r o o m . F a b i o t o o k o n

a n o t h e r l eve l a n d j a z z e d

th ings up with a l a id b a c k

set. How ev e r , it was A n d y C

w h o real ly r i p p e d the p l a c e

u p , d r o p p i n g n o n - s t o p

ro l l i ng b-lines. Top v e n u e ,

-top n ight , t o p t ime a l l r o u n d .

G a v

Techtonics @ The Pleasure Rooms

.. River Journey...

C l u b e x p e r i e n c e s n e v e r fa i l t o a m a z e m e . F r o m n e v e r h e a r d b e f o r e

m a d t u n e s , to the p e o p l e y o u m e e t - i t 's a l w a y s a l a u g h . T h a t ' s

w h a t m a k e s w r i t i n g a r t i c l e s a b o u t t h e m so m u c h f u n . Th i s w e e k

h o w e v e r s e e s a r e m a r k a b l e f irst f o r t h e c l u b p a g e in Fe l ix . Yes ,

s o m e h o w I've g o t a p o e m f o r y o u ! Last F r i day n i g h t w a s s p e n t in

T h e P l e a s u r e R o o m s f o r the i r m a s h up T e c h t o n i c s c l u b , a n d it w a s

d e f i n i t e l y a g o o d n i g h t - p e r h a p s t o o g o o d f o r m e to put in to

w o r d s . S o I w o n ' t . I ns tead I'll pas s o n this p o e m , w h i c h w a s g i v e n

to m e o n the n i g h t . A l t h o u g h i t 's not m u c h to d o wi th c l u b b i n g it

p r o v i d e s be t t e r r e a d i n g t h a n t h e m a s h tha t I n o r m a l l y c o m e o u t

wi th so a g a i n I'll shut u p a n d let y o u r e a d the g o o d stuff. . .

J a m e s

River Journey by Roslyn Taylor

" O C a p t a i n o f my s h i p , w h e r e d o e s the r iver l e a d ? "

"To the s e a ! To t h e s e a ! O n a j o u r n e y t o the s e a ! "

S p r u n g f r o m the b e d r o c k of my hea r t

F e d by the w e l l s p r i n g o f my y o u t h

A n d the t e n d e r e s t of t ea r s

Th i s r i ve r o f l o v e in m e

W i n d i n g its w i l f u l w a y t h r o u g h the s e a s o n s o f my s o u l

M e l t e d e m o t i o n in fu l l f l o o d

A f o r c e t o o p o w e r f u l to d a m

A c u r r e n t t o o swift t o resist

I a m s w e p t a w a y t o a g a i n s t a l l be t te r j u d g e m e n t

W i t h o u t c o n t r o l in t h e s e r a p i d s o f t h e s o u l

M y h e a r t , t o o f l imsy a cra f t t o sa i l in these wa t e r s

Is s h i p w r e c k e d o n the g a g g e d r o c k s of r e a s o n

B r o k e n a n d d i s c a r d e d by the f l o o d of first l o v e

N o l o n g e r a s e a w o r t h y vesse l

" A b a n d o n s h i p ! " t he c a p t a i n c r i e s

T h o u g h he h a s s t r u g g l e d m a n f u l l y

To s tee r us f r o m this f a t e fu l c o u r s e

T h e cry c o m e s t o o la te f o r m e

I a m t a k e n a w a y wi th h e r to a w a t e r y g r a v e

W h e r e the c a l m e r c u r r e n t s d w e l l

To the d e s t i n a t i o n of my h e a r t

I h a v e a l w a y s k n o w n to be

"To the s e a ! To the s e a ! To a n d e n d i n g in the s e a . "

Recommended

Clubbing

If you l ike a lot of c h o c o l a t e o n y o u r b i s-

cu i t , j o in o u r c l u b . O r g o to o n e of the

f o l l o w i n g .

Monday 1st November

Skin Two Rubber Ball @ Fabric; £38

W i t h a strict r u b b e r a n d P V C dress c o d e

this is the a n n u a l b a s h fo r the best of the

fet ish c l u b s . I s u p p o s e it 's not fo r the

n a r r o w m i n d e d o r those short of c a s h ,

but if you ' r e up fo r it you can ' t fa i l to

h a v e a g o o d t ime . I'm a f r a i d I'm just a

bit t o o t imid f o r this o n e t h o u g h .

THIS! 6th Birthday @ Bar Rhumba; £4

A n d then they we re six! Yes, G i l l e s Peter-

s o n a n d c o get a n o t h e r m en t i on he re ,

but it rea l ly is a n exce l l en t n ight a n d fo r

this party they ' l l be j o i n e d by o r i g i n a l

res ident J a m e s Lave l l e . G e t d o w n .

Tuesday 2nd November

Bullit @ The Dogstar; FREE!

Shit ho t h i p h o p m e a n s plenty o f oppu r -

tunit ies fo r b o p p i n g at this Br ixton v e n u e .

It's a l so f ree a n d o p e n till two . Y o u ' d

have to miss y o u r n ight at La S c a n d a l e

t h o u g h ! D i l e m m a s , d i l e m m a s !

Wednesday 3rd November

Cafe Noir @ Cafe de Paris; £12

H o s t e d by the C a r w a r s h t e a m , this night

is b e c o m i n g o n e of the wi ldest nights on

the c l u b c i rcui t . A p p a r e n t l y there a re

w o m e n d r e s s e d in f r e s h frui t a n d

w h i p p e d c r e a m ly ing o n tab les in the

p l a c e . N e e d I say m o r e ?

Swerve @ The Velvet Rooms; £5

Future funk a n d f u n , f u n , fun f r o m m a s -

ter DJ F a b i o a n d his pa l s . A l w a y s f un .

To have your club added to this list just

invite us along, we'll check it out and if

we like it we'll put it down

e-mail: felix@ic.ac.uk

phone: 020 7594 8072 ask for James

S I S - THE BUSINESS SOCIETY *. V * -V *t * * *• * » * * * # * •* * * * * » « * * * *• * » * * * W * * * » « * * * * * *> #• * * * * * * *> *- * * : * » * : * * * : *

Register for Event Updates at www.su.ic.ac.uk/sis

K P M G

How to become a partner

in a big consultancy y

g

G

e

s x

m e t h o d ^

Kronos Quartet o Philip Glass Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee... Time's running out

V i d e o c o m p l e t e with s o u n d t r a c k a n d C D a v a i l a b l e

Be l a Lugosi 's suave p e r f o r m a n c e in the 1 931 f i lm of

D r a c u l a is w ide l y c o n s i d e r e d to be the c l ass i c inter-

pre ta t ion of B r a m Stoker 's b l o o d s u c k e r C o u n t .

Techn i ca l l imi ta t ions of the t ime m e a n t that this ear l y

' talkie ' l a c k e d a s c o r e . N o w , two of the l e a d i n g f i g -

ures in c o n t e m p o r a r y m u s i c , the K r o n o s Q u a r t e t

a n d c o m p o s e r Ph i l ip G l a s s , have j o i n e d fo r ces to

rectify this a n o m a l y .

Reviews of the C D of this new s o u n d t r a c k have b e e n

s o m e w h a t l u k e w a r m ; the m u s i c suffers f r o m G l a s s '

t endency to re-use a n d recyc le t h e m e s f r o m ea r l i e r

works - in this c a s e , his p rev ious str ing quar te ts .

This isn't ent irely a b a d t h i n g , as his str ing quar te ts

a re e x c e e d i n g l y f ine p i e ces of m u s i c : n e w l isteners

cer ta in ly won' t suffer. Fo r those with p rev ious e x p e -

r ience of G l a s s ' m u s i c , however , the s o u n d t r a c k

a l o n e m a y be a d i s a p p o i n t m e n t .

The live p e r f o r m a n c e is a d i f ferent matter. The K r o -

nos Q u a r t e t - j o i n e d by the c o m p o s e r o n k e y b o a r d s

- p e r f o r m b e h i n d a semi- t rans lucent s c r e e n , o n t o

w h i c h the f i lm is p r o j e c t e d . As the l igh t ing that fa l ls

o n t h e m c h a n g e s , so they f a d e in a n d ou t of v i s i b i l -

ity, l ike ghos ts in the b a c k g r o u n d of the f i l m . Ifs a

s tunn ing ly a t m o s p h e r i c effect that neve r intrudes

u p o n the f i l m , on ly a d d s to it.

Ifs in this context that the mus i c c o m e s into its o w n .

Supe rb l y p e r f o r m e d , it g o e s a l o n g w a y to res tor ing

s o m e of the a t m o s p h e r e of d a r k n e s s the f i lm must

have h a d fo r 1931 a u d i e n c e s . If s o m e aspec t s of

the f i lm are m o r e a m u s i n g than 'horr i f ic ' f o r a m o d -

ern a u d i e n c e , G l a s s ' s co re p rov ides a d e l i c i o u s l y

s p o o k y b a c k g r o u n d that lets us l a u g h w i th , a n d not

at, this mos t c e l e b r a t e d of h o r r o r f l i cks . A l t h o u g h

your rev iewer is not a w a r e of any future U K pe r-

f o r m a n c e s of ' D r a c u l a ' , a v i d e o of the f i l m , c o m -

plete with the new s o u n d t r a c k , has b e e n r e l e a sed by

Un i ve r sa l S tud ios .

Proud Ga l l e r i e s

B u c k i n g h a m Street. Neares t Tube C h a r r i n g C ros s

F ioat like a butterfly, sting like a bee . . . . 25 serene p h o t o g r a p h s

show Al i in t ra in ing before humi l ia t ing the f ea r some G e o r g e

F o r e m a n

Th ink of M o h a m m a d A l i , think of the greatest box ing l egend that

ever re igned in the seventies. A m a n full of ' cocksu re a r r o g a n c e '

but ' hea r ten ing humi l i ty ' , he often pred ic ted wh i ch rounds he

was g o i n g to win his fights. His fights were not only enterta in ing

but a l so resourceful to the y o u n g box ing genera t ion of that t ime.

T h e n , every k id in the b lock wanted to box like A l i . They b o u g h t

every souven i r of h im a n d a lot of them even s igned up for a m a -

teur box ing , but unfortunately never m a d e it pro .

Every on e of his fights was often p r e c e d e d by a great dea l of

s h o w m a n s h i p a n d Al i was a lways at the centre of it a l l . This inf lu-

ence a l on e m a d e his fights more capt ivat ing as mi l l ions w o r l d -

w ide turn on their screens to see Al i live up to his p romise . H e

rarely d i s appo in t ed , often w inn ing in a un ique f a sh ion . This

c o u l d never have been truer than in Za i re in O c t o b e r 1 9 7 4

when Al i fought a n d beat G e o r g e F o r e m a n with a techn ica l

knockou t in round eight. After watch ing a replay of that f ight on

the ' b i g ' screens of Proud Ga l l e r i e s , to say that I was flabber-

gasted w o u l d be a n understatement. W h e n he c l a i m e d to ' f loat

like a butterfly, sting like a bee ' few c o u l d a rgue .

That was the legendary Rumble in the Jung le . I have never seen

a pro box with so m u c h skil l , speed a n d power, but more i m p o r -

tantly, with inte l l igence aga inst a more daunt ing o p p o n e n t . A fact

that w o u l d m a k e M i k e Tyson quite jea lous .

M a n y w h o k n o w h im wel l c o m m e n d e d his 'hear ten ing humi l i ty ' ,

his ' a m a z i n g sense of h u m o u r ' a n d his 'artistic abi l i ty ' . A great

inspirat ion to many, of w h o m was p h o t o g r a p h e r D a v i d K ing .

'Let's get this straight (folks),' sa id K ing in a recent interview, ' I

was not interested in box ing . I was interested in A l i . His abil ity

t r anscended box ing . ' K ing 's 2 5 b lack a n d white p h o t o g r a p h s

cap tu red Al i in t ra in ing in the Pennsylvania mounta ins before that

l egendary fight that many critics regard as the most cruc ia l f ight

of his career. Al l the pictures are s i gned , da t ed a n d n u m b e r e d

o n the reverse side.

to see

At the River S ide studios - nea r-

est tube H a m m e r s m i t h .

R o m e o e G i u l i e t t a . He re it is

a g a i n , the c l ass i c love story.

T h e o r i g i n a l l a n g u a g e of

S h a k e s p e a r e set to the mus i c

of Be l l in i . C o m b i n e d with e l e-

ments o f puppet ry a n d C o r n -

m e d i a dell'arte.

Finishes 7th November

T h e S L G (South L o n d o n

Ga l l e r y ) is o r i g i n a l a n d expe r i -

menta l with its d isp lays . Two of

them are f in i sh ing this w e e k

a n d l o o k we l l wo r th the t r ip ;

Intimate H o u s e a n d F rancesco

V i l a l t a - O l l e .

Intimate H o u s e uses the s tage

a n d w h o l e s p a c e to create a n

" Int imate S p a c e with the a u d i -

e n c e " This s eems to m e to be

either h igh ly o r i g i na l o r h ighly

e m b a r r a s s i n g .

Finishes 6th November

F r a n c e s c o V i l a l t a - O l l e

at tempts to redef ine w o m e n as

c o n s t r u c t e d iden t i t i e s . She

d o e s this t h r o u g h the e x p l o -

rat ion of t hemes such as s u b -

ject iv i ty, sexua l i t y , l a n g u a g e

a n d des i re .

Finishes 2nd November

ID J o s e p h ID Henry Odil Ben

1 s 5

b o o k s Cool Classics and

Books You Should

Have Read

Timeless ! G r o u n d b r e a k i n g ! Insp i ra t iona l ! A w o r k

of p r o f o u n d cul tura l i m p o r t a n c e ! A d a m n e d

g o o d r e a d ! C o o l C l a s s i c s a n d Books Y S H R , the

Felix feature where y o u get to learn a b o u t o l d

b o o k s that m a k e you s e e m m o r e cul tural ly awa re

than you really a re , a n d m a y b e even read o n e .

A r thu r i an l e g e n d has recent ly f a l l en into d i s r epu te . A s p e r h a p s o n e of the m o r e easi ly a c c e s s e d stories of

Eng l i sh/Ce l t i c myth it has in turns b e e n r o m a n t i c i s e d , d e m y t h i c i s e d , o ve r s imp l i f i ed a n d used as f o d d e r fo r S a tu rday

a f t e r n o o n t e l ev i s i on . A n d o n a less i n n o c e n t note I c a n say that the n a m e Lance lo t has b e c o m e s y n o n y m o u s with t e l -

ev i s ion p r o g r a m m e s i n vo l v i ng a c r i ngewor thy p lot a n d lad ies of a d u b i o u s nature .

Yet I have p l a c e d mysel f in the unce r t a i n pos i t i on of try ing to p e r s u a d e o the r p e o p l e to r e ad The O n c e a n d Future

K ing w h i c h is u n d e n i a b l y a c l a s s i c nove l d e a l i n g with the A r thu r i an cyc l e , 'K ing A r thu r a n d the Kn ights of the R o u n d

Table ' f o r t hose less en thus ias t i c t han m e .

It is essent ia l l y a quar te t of b o o k s of w h i c h the first, The S w o r d in the S tone is p r o b a b l y the best k n o w n - p e r h a p s

t h r o u g h the a n i m a t e d ve r s i on r e l e a s e d severa l years a g o if not in the written f o r m . The S w o r d in the S tone is a b e a u -

tiful t a l e . The cha ra c t e r s a re d e f i n e d a n d d e s c r i b e d in a l m o s t c o m p l e t e l y h u m o u r o u s terms a n d that h u m o u r is w o n -

derful ly Eng l i sh . O f the w h o l e quar te t this sec t i on is the l ightest in t o n e a n d cheer fu l les t in subject matter ; the ta le of

a sma l l boy, a f f ec t iona te l y k n o w n as the W a r t , g r o w i n g u p in a fantas t i c e n v i r o n m e n t u n a w a r e that he is o n e d a y to

be the K i n g . It m a y s o u n d s i m p l e , it m a y even s o u n d pre ten t ious , but the wr i t ing is so de t a i l ed a n d so en te r t a in ing

that a n o l d e r r e a d e r c a n f i nd i m m e n s e sa t i s fac t ion in it.

It is not a rea l is t ic t a l e in any sense of the w o r d ; s i tuat ions a re f anc i fu l a n d i m ag i n a t i v e in the ex t reme , excep t pe r-

haps fo r the r a n d o m l e c tu res ' o n h o w heavy a r m o u r real ly w a s in the o l d days a n d h o w that restr icted the p a c e of a

d u e l . The p r o b l e m s that the W a r t e n c o u n t e r s a s he g r o w s up tend to be of the p h i l o s o p h i c a l a n d theore t i ca l k ind ra ther

t han rude a n d d a m a g i n g e n c o u n t e r s with the ha rshness of l ife.

But this m a k e s f o r a n i n n o c e n t , l ight , w o n d e r f u l l y s en t imen ta l , s i t-by-the-f i re-and-munch-Chr is tmas p u d type r e a d .

W h i c h is neve r a b a d t h i n g , n o mat te r wha t the l iterary types say.

The o the r three b o o k s c o n t a i n e d wi th in The O n c e a n d Future K i n g d e a l with the m a i n cha rac t e r s a n d the events l e a d -

ing up to the des t ruc t i on of the R o u n d Table a n d the d e a t h of Arthur. C o n s e q u e n t l y these b o o k s d o not have the br ight

chee r fu lness that is i nhe ren t in T h e S w o r d in the S tone . A s adu l ts the cha rac te r s a re a l l o w e d to have m o r e c o m p l e x

e m o t i o n s a n d to the re fo re exist in a m u c h m o r e c o m p l i c a t e d w o r l d . A l l except fo r A r thu r that is, w h o reta ins the s i m -

ple e m o t i o n s a n d i d e a l i s a t i o n s of his c h i l d h o o d . This is w h e r e the nove l as a w h o l e d e v e l o p s its pa th os . The cent ra l

c h a r a c t e r has the i n n o c e n c e of a s te reo typ i ca l ch i l d whi lst a l l the cha rac te r s s u r r o u n d i n g h im a re i n v o l v e d in s o m e

s c h e m e o r p lo t . W h a t I l ove a b o u t these three b o o k s is that the a u t h o r d o e s not d e a l t o o harshly with the ' b a d ' c h a r -

ac te rs ; he shows t h e m to b e h u m a n , that a n y o n e c o u l d m a k e the mis takes that these cha rac t e r s m a k e .

I r e c o m m e n d this to those w h o love r e a d i n g a b o u t d i f ferent p e o p l e , to those w h o love myths, to those w h o wan t to

lose t hemse l ves fo r a little wh i l e in a w o r l d that is n i ce r t han IC , a n d to those with lots of w o r k to d o .

Fl ic

Felix Recommends E a c h of the b o o k s w h i c h is r ev i ewed in Felix c a n be p u r c h a s e d f r o m the Waters tone ' s b o o k store o n c a m p u s , next

to the m a i n l ibrary, at a d i s c o u n t of 2 0 % d u r i n g the w e e k of the review. Waters tone ' s a i m is to p r o m o t e r e a d i n g in

g e n e r a l , by i m p r o v i n g the ava i l ab i l i t y o r titles r e c o m m e n d e d a n d by o f fe r ing them to Felix readers at a r e d u c e d

p r i ce . Be sure to s top by the store a n d see if you a g r e e with o u r rev iews.

Fugitive

Pieces, Anne

Micheals

Wr i t t en as a m e m o i r , start-

i ng wi th y o u t h a g a i n s t the

b a c k - d r o p of the S e c o n d

W o r l d W a r a n d the H o l o -

c a u s t , Fug i t i ve P i eces is a

n o v e l o f s i n g u l a r l y beau t i f u l

p r o s e a n d p o w e r f u l image r y .

T h e first nove l by M i c h e a l s ,

w h o p r i o r t o P i e c e s w a s

k n o w n f o r he r ski l ls as a

p o e t , FP ' d e q l s w i th history,

m e m o r y , l o v e , c rue l ty a n d

the c a p r i c i o u s n a t u r e of

t i m e .

A r ev i ew c a n n o t d o just ice

to the t ask of e x p l a i n i n g

w h a t m a k e s this b o o k so

s p e c i a l . It is f i l l ed with short

s e n s u a l e p i s o d e s t h r o u g h

w h i c h the r e c o l l e c t i o n s of

J a k o b B e e r b e c o m e his

story. F o r e x a m p l e , the m u r -

d e r of his p a r e n t s w h i l e

J a k o b h i d e s :

' N o i s e s n e v e r h e a r d b e f o r e

t o r n f r o m my f a t h e r ' s

m o u t h . T h e n s i l e n c e . M y

m o t h e r h a d b e e n s e w i n g a

b u t t o n o n my shirt . S h e kept

he r bu t tons in a c h i p p e d

sauce r . I h e a r d the r im of the

s a u c e r in c i r c l e s o n the f loor .

I h e a r d the sp ray of bu t tons ,

little wh i t e t e e t h . '

R e a d it.

Wa te rs tone ' s is o p e n M o n d a y - F r i d a y 9 : 0 0 a m to 7 : 0 0 p m a n d Sa tu rday 1 0 : 0 0 a m to 5 : 0 0 p m . • Russel l

6 s x

s c r e e n • �� • • • • • • ; :

Hav ing seen their debut project The Blair Wi tch Pro-

ject storm to massive f inanc ia l a n d critical success

across the wor ld , directors Dan ie l Myr ick a n d

Edua rdo Sanchez are now two of the hottest p r o p -

erties in H o l l y w o o d . So are they really a c o u p l e of

talented you n g hopefu ls o r a pa i r of mov ie brats?

We l l , here's your c h a n c e to f ind out, with ou r very

own interview.

Your brain is tell ing you it's real a n d you're trying to

tell yourself it's not so it's easy to thing it's real .

Is it true that Heather Donahue earned a knife with

her during the shooting of the film?

DAN: Yeah , it was a pretty big knife. H e r m o m d i d -

n't want her to d o the film with a bunch of strangers

in a w o o d so she bought this big knife. Just in case .

really fortunate with an eight minute trailer we p ro-

d u c e d , as John Pearson had a show ca l led 'Split

Screen' in N e w York City a n d wanted to air ou r

trailer on that show so he pa i d us s o m e money for

the rights to that and it he lped us out. W e didn't

have to raise a lot, but $ 3 0 , 0 0 0 when you're b roke

might as well be $ 3 0 mi l l ion - but we m a n a g e d to

scrape it together.

Are you planning to do any sequels or prequels to

The Blair Witch Project?

ED: We're ta lk ing to Art isan a b o u t d o i n g anothe r

Blair f i lm. It's not g o i n g to be a sequel but we have

an idea for a prequel that is pretty c o o l but we're

g o i n g to have to see if they're g o n n a let us d o it or

not. It's really up to them. They own the fi lm n o w ;

they o w n Blair W i t ch . It looks like they might let us

d o it but it has to be the right t ime for us and the

right t ime for them.

What were Heather, Josh and Michael like after the

film shoot?

DAN: W h a t you guys watch is 8 2 minutes of a b o u t

twenty hours of raw foo tage . They knew it was us

running a r o u n d the tent 'cos we shot the fi lm in this

who le real-time format were we had the actors g o

out there and run this improv isa t ion s i tuat ion. The

whole process was a n exper iment. It was tough on

everybody. W e had a 2 4 7 shoot on ou r side as

wel l . O n one s ide, it was very t ough a n d very d r a i n -

ing but as a n actor, they had the opportunity to d o

an eight-day play 2 4 hours a day in charac te r with

total creative f r e e d o m . They're p robab l y never

g o n n a get that opportunity a g a i n . As tiring as it was

at the e n d , it was really reward ing for everybody.

Do you know of anyone who saw the film and

thought it was real?

Ed: A friend of ours t ook the mov ie w h e n we had

just f inished edit ing it a n d p o p p e d it into his V C R at

h o m e a n d his m o m e n d e d up watch ing it a n d he

didn't tell her it wasn't real . Everybody has a c a m -

corder a n d as s o o n as a fr iend pops in a vaca t ion

v ideo you're conv inced it's real because there's

shaky c a m e r a a n d the s a m e th ing works for Blair.

Was there any inspiration from films like Man Bites

Dog and Cannibal Holocaust?

ED: I've never actually seen ' M a n Bites D o g ' , it's on e

that's on a long list of films to see when we get

h o m e . As for C a n n i b a l Ho locaus t we didn't f ind out

that f i lm existed until s o m e o n e at Sundance told us

that it h ad the same premise as Blair W i t ch . So we

went h o m e a n d went to a v ideo store that rent r ea l-

ly obscure boo t l eg type films and we checked it out.

It's the exact s ame premise as Blair. This d o c u m e n -

tary c rew goes to Peru or South A m e r i c a in search

of a cann iba l tribe a n d they f ind it a n d never get

out. I guess they are eaten. W e didn't even finish it.

It's pretty brutal . They kill an ima ls on screen a n d

that's their gore . There's on e scene where we're sure

they use a h u m a n corpse for on e of the effects.

W h a t really inspired Blair were those o ld d o c u m e n -

taries. In the states they had these p s e u d o - d o c u -

mentaries with Leonard N i m o y narrat ing abou t

U F O ' s , B igfoot and stuff like that and as kids Ed

a n d I were terrified by those things so that was rea l-

ly the inspirat ion beh ind Blair.

Do you think the film works better on the big screen

or will it be better on video?

Ed: I think it works well on the big screen but I think

it does work better o n v ideo . A lot of peop l e w h o

g o to the mov ie say that f i lm didn't scare them a n d

I a lways write to them a n d say "When the mov ie

c o m e s out on v ideo , rent it, g o to your house a lone

at 1 a m and p o p it in a n d tell me if it scared you. " I

think it works better that way

Did you find it easy to finance the film?

Dan: N o , most of the f inanc ing was out of our own

credit cards , savings, fr iends, and family. W e were

Did you actually attempt to show what was harass-

ing the actors in the film?

Dan: Back to the documenta r i e s of the seventies -

there's really nothing conc lus ive abou t them. You

see a grainy pho to of a U F O o r Bigfoot running

th rough the w o o d s . It was the real ism abou t those

things at the t ime that got to us. O u r pr ime d i rec-

tive was to keep everything real . W e didn't have the

budget o r technica l know-how to show someth ing

that was conv inc ing ly real . A lmos t out of necessity,

we fo l lowed this line of keep ing it real . Anyth ing in

the raw foo tage that l o o k e d cont r i ved ; we got rid of

it.

Do you think you are marketing a myth or concept

rather than just a film?

Dan: Exactly, yes. I think that's what's un ique abou t

Blair W i tch . That it is a who l e wor ld that it is a who le

mythology a n d the fi lm you see is really just a part

of it. It didn't start out that way but it certainly

evo lved over t ime. That's what I loved about Star

Wars o r Star Trek. They had a who l e wor ld created

a r o u n d those films a n d on a smal l level that's what

we d id with Blair W i t ch . The w e b site has enab l ed

us to have this comp lemen ta r y exper ience that

showed the mythology a b o u t the mov ie a n d it was

definitely this c o m p o n e n t thing of this b igger th ing.

Is the film called The Blair Witch Project after Linda

Blair in The Exorcist?

Dan: it was n a m e d after Blair h igh schoo l in M a r y -

land and it's a g o o d gener ic n a m e that sound like

a bunch of other mythology in that a rea so it just

b l ended in with truth. There's no reference to The

Exorcist in any way; it's just co in c idence .

He len

1 s 7

screen

CINEMA What's on at ICU Cinema Vampires

ODEO Pushing Tin Competition

At las t , I h a v e w i t n e s s e d the n e w l o o k I C U

c i n e m a f o r myse l f . G o n e a r e the d a y s

w h e n y o u c o u l d o n l y h e a r the f i l m if y o u

b o r r o w e d y o u r g r a n n y ' s h e a r i n g a i d .

T h a n k s t o the m a r v e l l o u s n e w D o l b y D i g i -

tal s o u n d , y o u d o n ' t h a v e t o l i p - r e a d a n y -

m o r e . Y o u d o n ' t e v e n h a v e t o s q u i n t a n y -

m o r e w h e n the f o c u s g o e s as they 've f i n a l -

ly s o r t e d tha t o u t . S o , hey p r e s t o , w e n o w

h a v e a m a s s i v e s c r e e n tha t ge ts u s e d to it's

fu l l p o t e n t i a l a n d is a c r e d i t t o o u r U n i o n .

Th i s w e e k I C U c i n e m a is s h o w i n g the

c l e v e r a n d f u n n y G o ! a l o n g s i d e the a l l -

a c t i o n T h o m a s C r o w n A f f a i r . B o t h f i lms

a r e b e i n g s h o w n o n M o n d a y a n d T u e s d a y

e v e n i n g .

G o ! is a story t o l d f r o m t h r e e p e r s p e c t i v e s .

It's a b o u t a b u n c h o f y o u n g C a l i f o r n i a n s

t ry ing t o ge t s o m e c a s h , d o a n d d e a l s o m e

d r u g s , a n d a c q u i r e sex in Las V e g a s . T h e y

a l l just w a n t t o e x p e r i e n c e the rush o f l i f e .

G o ! is sor t o f a t e e n f l i c k bu t d o n ' t b e put

off as it is d e f i n i t e l y w o r t h w a t c h i n g .

T h e T h o m a s C r o w n A f f a i r s tars P i e r ce

B r o s n a n a n d Rene R u s s o in a r e m a k e of

this f i l m a b o u t a b o r e d m i l l i o n a i r e w h o

l ikes to s tea l art . It tu rns i n t o a c o m e d y

w h e n the l e a d i n g c h a r a c t e r s f a l l in l o v e

a n d Russo 's c h a r a c t e r f i n d s he r se l f m a k i n g

a t o u g h d e c i s i o n .

In c a s e y o u haven ' t f o u n d t h e c i n e m a yet it

is l o c a t e d in the c o n c e r t h a l l in the u n i o n

b u i l d i n g a n d is p r o b a b l y the o n l y c i n e m a

tha t y o u c a n t a k e y o u r b e e r in to s u p o n

w h i l e w a t c h i n g a g o o d f i l m .

A l s o , d o n ' t f o r g e t t o l o o k at the p o s t e r s o n

the w a l k w a y f o r the t i m e s a n d d e t a i l s o f

the s h o w i n g s .

A ho r ro r mov ie by John Carpen te r , d i rector of such

cult f l icks as The T h i n g , V i l l age of the D a m n e d a n d

H a l l o w e e n , shou ld be a n event not to miss. The sad

truth is that his latest f i lm , Vamp i r e s , wili p robab l y

pass by wi thout m u c h a c c l a i m .

The story fo l lows J ack C r o w (James W o o d s ) as leader

of T e a m C r o w ' , a g r o u p of M e r c e n a r y V a m p i r e slay-

ers f u n d e d by the C a t h o l i c C h u r c h . By ' c lean ing out a

nest 1 s o m e w h e r e in M e x i c o - enter over use of a m i g o

a n d pad re - they incur the wrath of a power fu l mas-

ter v a m p i r e n a m e d Va lek w h o dec ima tes the entire

t e a m except C r o w a n d M o n t o y a (Dan ie l B a l dw in ,

ano the r of the Ba ldw in brothers). It is left to them to

prevent Va lek f r om f ind ing the Berziers C r o s s . This

cross w o u l d a l l ow h im a n d al l vampi res to walk by

day, m a k i n g them imposs ib l e to ki l l .

This story is a g o o d i d e a ; it has so m u c h p romise but

is s o m e h o w left a little th in. The m m is s low-paced

a n d de l i be r a t ed . It is s o m e w h e r e be tween a spaghe t-

ti western (over l ong shots of tough m e n in a desert

b a c k g r o u n d ) a n d a h a m m e r hor ro r (latex body parts

a n d plenty of b l ood ) . Still the p roduc t i on qual i t ies are

h i g h , espec ia l l y cons ide r i ng the modes t budge t of

$20 m i l l i on . For a hor ro r it is rarely scary, l eav ing you

firmly roo ted at the back of your seat. This is p r o b a -

bly b e c a u s e you feel little empathy with any of the

charac te rs , part icular ly W o o d s , w h o seems deter-

m i n e d to d o things the hard way.

It w o u l d be unfa i r to say that o n c e the f i lm h a d start-

ed I wasn't interested in the e n d , a n d the c i n e m a t o g -

raphy is certainly g o o d ; but s o m e w h e r e a l o n g the

l ine, it just fai ls to capture the i m a g i n a t i o n . Perhaps

this is b e c a u s e it t reads a n uneasy line be tween trying

to be g r o u n d b reak ing whi le still keep ing to the v a m -

pire ethos. The vamp i r e s may be i m m u n e to ga r l i c but

they still w e a r go th i c even ingwear .

For a Friday night out this f i lm is hardly r e c o m m e n d -

a b l e , but for a c h a n g e f r om the usua l H o l l y w o o d

b l o c k b u s t e r it m a y be worth a l ook .

Ka ther ine a n d D a v e

Th is w e e k the O d e o n K e n s i n g t o n have

benevo l en t l y d o n a t e d five pa i rs of t ickets to

see ' P u s h i n g T in 1 s t a r r i n g J o h n C u s a c k

( G r o s s e Point B lank) a n d Billy B o b T h o r n t o n

( A r m a g e d d o n ) .

Push ing Tin is a c o m e d y a n d d r a m a a b o u t

l i fe , l o ve , a e r o p l a n e s a n d o t h e r b u m p y r ides.

Set in the h igh- tens ion a t m o s p h e r e of the

c h a o t i c a i r traff ic c o n t r o l cent re fo r N e w

York's three m a j o r a i rpor t s this f i lm is a b o u t

terr i tor ia l f ee l i ngs b e t w e e n m e n a n d h o w

they d e a l with t h e m .

A s a lways a l l you have to d o is a n s w e r a s i m -

ply q u e s t i o n , This w e e k the ques t i on is

Who connects Pushing Tin and

Four Weddings And A Funeral?

A n s w e r s o n a virtual p o s t c a r d to

film.felix@ic.ac.uk

be fo re W e d n e s d a y 3 N o v e m b e r .

The w i n n e r of last w e e k s B la i r W i t c h c o m p e -

tit ion has w o n the fan tas t i ca l l y a m a z i n g B la i r

W i t c h g o o d y b a g , a n d that p e r s o n is

Jennifer Edwards

A n d the runners up w h o a l l go t the ques t i on

r ight, get a pa i r of t ickets to see this mos t ter-

rifying f i l m . They are

S Comber

E Mavrikas

N Balakumaran

C Gamonpilas

J Williams

P lease ca l l by the Felix o f f i ce to co l l e c t your

t ickets.

8 s x

r e a c t © *

S

S

E

Joy Tech Jordan Grand Prix Steering Wheel Carmageddon (PSX)

Viv: It w a s with g rea t a n t i c i p a t i o n that I first l a id my h a n d s o n Joy Tech's

PSX w h e e l . E n d o r s e d by J o r d a n G r a n d Prix I h a d v i s ions of m i m i c k i n g the

D a m o n Hi l l of o l d . . . B o a s t i n g a F l c a r style w h e e l , g e a r c h a n g e a n d built

in fo rce f e e d b a c k this p i e ce o f h a r d w a r e cer ta in ly c o m e s w e l l - e q u i p p e d .

Howeve r , a l l this p r o m i s e t u rn ed to dust w h e n I even tua l l y j u m p e d in the

driver's seat a n d f o u n d that s teer ing was ra ther m o r e d i f f icu l t t han first

h o p e d . A d j u s t i n g sensitivity m a d e little d i f f e r ence , the c a r e i ther wou ldn ' t

turn at a l l o r ins tead went into a n u n c o n t r o l l a b l e swerv ing m o t i o n , e n d i n g

up with a n artistic s p i n . A s f rust ra t ion a n d r o u g h h a n d l i n g i n c r e a s e d , the

fo rce f e e d b a c k v ib ra t i ons b e c a m e ba re l y n o t i c e a b l e . A n o t h e r p r o b l e m

c o m m o n to most w h e e l con t ro l l e r s is that a n a g g r e s s i v e turn w h e n you ' re

trying to bea t a sha rp c o r n e r usua l l y results in y o u r l ift ing the whee l in the

air, - whee l s a re s imply not heavy e n o u g h f o r se r ious d r i v i ng . At the e n d

of the day you've g o t to ask yourse l f whe the r its wor th h a v i n g such a bu lky

a c c e s s o r / - pe r sona l l y I don ' t be l i e ve any of t h e m are wor th the desk

s p a c e .

Ben's View: M y v i ew of the J oy t ech

whee l c a n be s u m m e d up in o n e

w o r d - d i s a p p o i n t i n g . W h i l e the

whee l g ives a m u c h better f e e l i ng

of ac tua l l y d r i v i ng a car, w h a t it

doesn ' t g ive you is any sort of c o n -

trol o v e r the g a m e . I f o u n d mysel f

constant ly w e a v i n g f r o m left to

right a n d s p i n n i n g off the t rack in

every r a c i n g g a m e I p l a y e d . The

w h o l e po in t of a s p e c i a l i s e d dr i v-

ing w h e e l is that it m a k e s it eas i e r

to d r i ve , not harder . If I'd p a i d

m o n e y f o r this t h ing I'd be b a c k at

the s h o p by n o w d e m a n d i n g a

re fund .

Mark's View: It's b i g , b l a c k a n d

l o o k s i m p r e s s i v e (not tha t t h i n g ,

t h e o t h e r t h i n g ) . I'm t a l k i n g

a b o u t t h e J o y t e c h s t e e r i n g

w h e e l . It d o e s l o o k g o o d a n d

o n e w o u l d h a v e t h o u g h t w o u l d

b e the i d e a l a n s w e r to a l l t h o s e

h a r d - t o - c o n t r o l d r i v i n g g a m e s

( G r a n d T o u r i s m o a n y o n e ? ) .

Su r e l y a j o y p a d s h a p e d l ike a

w h e e l is g o i n g to b e the c l o s e s t

w e c o m e to the r e a l t h i n g . It is a

g o o d i d e a but s a d l y the w h e e l is

just a t a d t o o sens i t i v e a n d tu rns

h a r d g a m e s i n t o i m p o s s i b l e

o n e s . A s l ight n u d g e of the w h e e l

d o e s n o t h i n g bu t a n ex t r a m i c r o n

of p r e s s u r e a n d y o u a r e d o i n g

3 6 0 ' s a l l o v e r the s h o p . It t ake s a

bit o f p e r s e v e r a n c e t o maste r .

O n c e m a s t e r e d it is g o o d f u n but

I t h i nk it stil l n e e d s s o m e f ine-

t u n i n g . O n c e this is d o n e I'm

su re it wi l l be a sure- f i re hit . It

wi l l g i v e a h i g h e r p l a y a b i l i t y a n d

p l e a s u r e to a l l r a c i n g g a m e s . 2

o u t o f 5 but w i th t u n i n g a n e a s y

4 o u t of 5.

• • •

Part ia l ly b a n n e d f o r its v i o l e n t

nature , C a r m a g e d d o n is a wi ld r a c-

ing g a m e . Set in the yea r 2 0 2 8 , a

new sport has been b o r n to con t ro l

a ca t as t roph i c a c c i d e n t that t rans-

f o r m e d part of the h u m a n race into

z o m b i e s ( cou ld h a p p e n ) .

There are severa l ways in wh i ch you

c a n p lay this g a m e . Firstly you c a n

treat it as a s t anda rd rac ing g a m e

a n d c o m p l e t e the a l lo t ted a m o u n t

of laps faster t han a n y b o d y e lse .

Th is , however , is du l l a n d s o m e -

th ing you c a n d o with any o ther

dr iv ing g a m e . A l ternat ive ly you c a n

waste any th ing that m o v e s . This

involves m o w i n g d o w n the z o m b i e s

in a gra tu i tous f a s h i o n o r k i ck ing

the out of the o ther cars by

r a m m i n g them to bits but p re fe rab l y

bo th . It's the way that you c a n pe r-

fo rm these ac t ions that m a k e it al l

wor thwh i le t h o u g h . For ins tance ,

r a m p i n g off a 100-s torey b u i l d i n g

wh i le p e r f o r m i n g a tr iple somersau l t

to l and o n a po l i c e c a r sco res h i g h -

ly, as d o e s a h a n d b r a k e turn at 1 0 0

m p h into a g r o u p of z o m b i e s . That

earns you a " c o m b o bonus " . S q u a s h

the d e a d m e n w a l k i n g into a wa i i

fo r a "p i ledr i ver b o n u s " a n d you

might even ea rn a p p l a u s e fo r "artis-

tic i m p r e s s i o n " . There a re a l so lots

of w a c k y power-ups that c a n a id

you in the quest o f c a n i n g you r

o p p o n e n t s , such as the hot r od a n d

o p p o n e n t f r eeze , but there a re o t h -

ers that c a n s o m e w h a t h inder you r

p rog ress , such as jelly su spens i on

a n d l una r gravity. You must not fo r-

get that d u r i n g you r z e a l o u s c a r -

n a g e you r o w n c a r will be gett ing

p u m m e l l e d s o y o u must co l l e c t

credits so y o u c a n repa i r you r c a r in

o r d e r fo r you to con t i nue the r a m -

p a g e .

I l o v ed this g a m e b e c a u s e it was

o r i g i n a l a n d the g a m e p l a y is h ighly

add i c t i v e . The re isn't any a rs ing

a r o u n d with ca re fu l d r i v i n g ; you ' r e

not try ing to w in the g r a n d prix o r

any th ing . It is pure p l easu re , just

l ike b e i n g in a c rocke r y s h o p a n d

b e i n g a b l e to g o comp le t e l y a p e

a n d b e i n g r e w a r d e d fo r you r t r o u -

ble in d o i n g so . Fantast ic .

M a r k

1 s 9

r e a c t © III! . ' |!f! I Hi ' :'; '

R/C Stunt Copter (PSX)

A n a i r b o r n e r a d i o - c o n t r o l l e d v eh i c l e is of ten the

d r e a m present f o r m a n y k ids . Un fo r tuna te l y

h o w e v e r it 's usua l l y on l y the pre ten t ious little r ich

gits that eve r get h o l d of o n e . R/C Stunt C o p t e r

f r om Interplay a l l ow s e ve r yone to s a m p l e the

f l a vou r of f ly ing a r/c he l i cop te r , w i thou t the f ea r

of h a v i n g to fork ou t h u n d r e d s if you c r a sh the

d a m n t h i n g . . .

Stunt C o p t e r was d e s i g n e d to work with the

Playstat ion D u a l S h o c k cont ro l le r , e n a b l i n g the

player to use o n e a n a l o g u e stick fo r d i rec t iona l

ro ta t ion a n d the o ther fo r thrust. If you don ' t have

this con t ro l l e r the left a n d right cont ro l pads o n

the o r i g i n a l j o ypad wil l suff ice. Initially m o v e m e n t

is extremely tricky a n d you' l l f ind yoursel f c o n -

stantly h a v i n g to jugg le y o u r c o n c e n t r a t i o n

be tween a l t i tude , thrust a n d a n g l e as you e d g e

o n w a r d a n d u p w a r d . This c a n be very frustrat ing,

espec ia l l y c o n s i d e r i n g the fact that it's p l a in o b v i -

ous wha t you have to d o , it's just diff icult to exe-

cute the a c t i o n . For o n c e then the t ra in ing levels

are abso lu te l y necessary a n d a n y o n e w h o g o e s

d i v ing in at the d e e p end wil l get a so rd id c o n f i -

d e n c e b a s h i n g . S u p p o s e d l y you s h o u l d be ab l e

to en joy the g a m e m o r e after t r a in ing , hav ing

g a i n e d c o m p e t e n c y in integrat ing al l aspects of

f ly ing wi thout t o o m u c h thought . A fine theory,

but you need to be pat ient e n o u g h to reach that

s tage , a n d I fo r o n e certa inly wasn't. W h e t h e r it

be s l a l o m courses o r b a l l o o n s h o o t i n g , the mis-

s ions themse lves a re highly d i s a p p o i n t i n g a n d

rarely last l o n g e r than a c o u p l e of minutes . Even

the 2-player m o d e is fairly poor , with e a c h p layer

t ak ing their turn to c o m p l e t e the level object ives ,

rather than f ly ing s imul taneous ly . The most fun to

be h a d actua l l y c o m e s w h e n you're wa t ch ing you r

o p p o n e n t , as y o u c a n dr ive t hem m a d by st icking

a w h o p p i n g great h a n d in front of their v iew (wit-

ness screenshot ) .

The y a n k e e c o m m e n t a t o r wi l l a l s o p r o v i d e s o m e

l ight rel ief - that is until he gets a n n o y i n g . G e n -

era l ly s p e a k i n g the s o u n d a n d g r a p h i c s a re quite

g o o d fo r this sort of g a m e a n d the con t ro l is wel l

d e s i g n e d , but these fac tors d o not m a k e up fo r

the repe t i t i ous , d i f f icu l t a n d b o r i n g g a m e p l a y .

Stunt C o p t e r isn't b a d , it just doesn ' t present

e n o u g h to k e e p a l l but a sma l l g r o u p of fana t i cs

interested fo r l o n g .

Viv

LMA manager (PSX)

C o n s o l e s a re not r e n o w n e d fo r c o m p l e x , m a n -

a g e m e n t type g a m e s , but C o d e m a s t e r s ' L A M

m a n a g e r is a ser ious n o n - c o n f o r m e r w h e n it

c o m e s to such s tereotyp ing . At last there is a foo t-

ball m a n a g e m e n t g a m e fo r a c o n s o l e wh i ch c a n

match the very best a v a i l a b l e fo r the P C - a n d

that's wi thout a k e y b o a r d a n d m o u s e .

As with most footy s ims, the p layer c a n be assu red

of up-to-date stats (the current 1 9 9 9 - 2 0 0 0 s e a -

son c o m p l e t e with its real-life fixture list is your

starting point) a n d total con t ro l of their c l ub - if

they wan t it. For the less pat ient g a m e r tasks such

as p layer t ra in ing a n d sponso r sh ip d e a l s c a n be

ass igned to assistant m a n a g e r s wi thout detract ing

too m u c h fun f r om the g a m e . Wa t ch ing your

t e a m in ac t i on is highly enter ta in ing a n d recreates

s o m e of the tens ion you get f r om watch ing your

favour i te c lub o n T V O f cou rse , if the game's not

g o i n g so wel l you c a n al ter t e a m tactics o r br ing

in fresh b l o o d at any t ime dur ing the match . After-

math ma t ch analys is a n d 3 D highl ights a re s im i-

larly excel lent with c o m m e n t a r y f r om Ray Stubbs

a n d the woeful ly g o o d A l a n H a n s e n .

U p g r a d i n g your s tad ium is a fantast ic way to

waste money , espec ia l l y o n a c lub like Br ighton

where the a t tendance rarely rises a b o v e the 5 , 0 0 0

mark . C o a x i n g qual i ty players to your c l ub is a

feat to b e h o l d in the lower d iv is ions , but this is

where you shou ld start as its fa r m o r e satisfying

tak ing a lowly D iv is ion 3 side al l the way to the

top , rather than starting out with a ready-made

premiersh ip member . The youth s q u a d prov ides

a n excel lent p o o l of potent ia l y o u n g stars, a n d if

you are part icular ly s c h e m i n g then you ' l l p romote

t hem al l to the first t e a m a n d f log ' e m off the next

s e a s o n . If the 5 0 year ca ree r m o d e does not

a p p e a l then there are a n u m b e r of cha l l enges to

be tried out, a n d you'l l be ab l e to c o m p a r e your

f inal s core with others over the Internet. Take on

a f la tmate in 2-player m o d e a n d prepare for

s o m e ser ious compet i t i on in the l e ague . (Just for

the record I l anded 13th pos i t ion for Br ighton in

the 1st s ea son whi le my room-mate at ta ined re le-

ga t ion for Torquay. . . h ahaha ! )

L A M manager has been so magni f i cent l y e n g i -

neered a r o u n d the Playstat ion that the myr iad of

opt ions a v a i l a b l e c a n be a c c e s s e d a n d c h a n g e d

with m i n i m u m fuss, us ing a s imp le L/R button

m e n u system. A l l m a n a g e r i a l screens are c lear ly

presented with easy to read text, a n d excel lent

m in i-an imat ions t o o . Deserved ly so , L M A m a n -

a g e r nestled in at the top of Playstat ion sales

charts everywhere . Nuf f s a id .

Viv

m^iJi^ , ^ : t y | | S ;

i l l i S i P ' . •

• • . • • :. :

: " . • '

0 n x

F X V N y

Standing Room

Only

L i v e r p o o l v B r a d f o r d ,

l ive f r o m A n f i e l d .

If L i v e r p o o l w a n t to

be a n y t h i n g less t h a n

a l a u g h i n g s tock this

s e a s o n , t h e y ' d better

w i n . W i t h o r w i thou t

little St M i c h a e l .

8 p m d a V i n c i ' s

Win £50 c a s h or a

c r a t e of lager

8 p m , da Vinci's

XS

C l a s s i c pa r t y t u n e s

f o r the p o s t - m a t c h

party , p l u s c o c k t a i l

b a r a n d c h i l l o u t

r o o m . 9-1 a m , dBs

Standing Room

Only

C h e l s e a v Her tha

Ber l in , 7 p m d a V inc i ' s

l l b l a x a n d c o o l d o w n

w i th the c h e .

5 i y c : ici'IB

Utopia

It's Fr iday nights, it's

cheesy , it 's p r e -

d i c t a b l e , but it's d a m n

g o o d f un .

9 - 2 a m , dBs .

Contact Simon �� n

(sime»n.kahn@ic o c uk)

Archery

Fencing Club

U n i o n G y m , 1 2 p m

Wine Tasting

6 p m , dB ' s

Canoe Club

Pract i ce s e s s i o n , 7 p m

CAG

S o u p run , 8 . 3 0 p m

Shooting Pugwash

Talk f r o m D r J o h n

H a s s a r d , 1 p m , U D H

C&GU

O & M C , 6 p m , C & G

O f f i c e

CAG

S o u p run , 8 . 3 0 p m

W e e k ' s B a s e m e n t

c Stereolab @

Heaven; £ 1 0

G r o o v e a l o n g to the

ever-re l iab le a m b i e n t

popsters .

Remy Zero @

Embassy Rooms; £ 7

| | b d i o h e a d - a p p r o v e d

e m o t i o n a l rock f r o m

p $ e o t h e r s i d e o f the

Super Furry Animals

@ Brixton Academy;

£12.50

T h e f r a z z l e d W e l s h

p o p - m o n g e r s return

with the i r twisty tunes .

Longpigs @ Heaven;

£9

Af te r s h e d d i n g the i r

B r i t p o p s h a c k l e s , this

lot a r e s h o w c a s i n g

Warp 10th Birthday

@ Z Rooms; £10

W a r p Reco rds c o n t i n -

ue the i r c e l e b r a t i o n s ,

w i th A u t e c h r e a n d

S q u a r e p u s h e r .

Film

Pushing Tin

dy w i th John Cusak.

Virgin Fulham Road

3 50, 6.20, 9 00

2.50, 5.40, 8 .30 )

Bowfinger

S o - s o c o m e d y

M a r t i n & Murphy .

UCI Whiteleys

4 . 4 0 , 6 . 4 0 , 9 . 3 0

Virgin Chelsea

3 . 3 0 , 6 . 1 5 , 8 . 4 5

T a r z a n

with Of f- the-sca 'e o f fe r ing

f rom the M o u s e House .

Odeon Leicester Sq

Virgin Chelsea

2 . 3 0 , 4 . 3 0 , 6 . 3 0

Blair Witch Project

It's real ly rather scary

apparent ly . . .

ABC Tottenham Ct Rd

5 . 2 5 , 7 . 4 0 , 9 . 5 5

Odeon Kensington

4 . 5 5 , 7 . 0 5 , 9 .15 )

Virgin Fulham Road

Odeon Kensington

TV Hollywood Greats

1 0 . 4 0 p m , BBC1

The ser ies b e g i n s by

p ro f i l i ng o n e of wes t-

e rn c i n e m a ' s a l l t ime

g rea t s - C a r y G r a n t .

t The Big Match

7 .30pm, ITV

It's c r u n c h t ime f o r

C h e l s e a - w in a n d

they ' r e t h r o u g h , lose

a n d say g o o d b y e .

11 O'clock Show

hones t , I th ink not.

Have I Got News...

9 . 0 0 p m , B B C 2

This year, M e r t o n &

H i s l o p a r e b a c k in

qual i ty " take-no-pr i-

s i o n e r s " m o d e . C l a s s .

s

•99 9 BG Ftwlographer

s just

pjatual H i s to ry M u s o -

Moscow State Circus

T r a d i t i o n a l C i r c u s in

State o f the art B ig

Top .

Fu lha im B r o a d w a y

£6 - <;24

•il Ski and

Snowboard show.

v.sia

Jents

Audacily

Amuss ing Fringe p ro-

duction on the "sludge of

mediocrity.

Barons Court

£5 Cone .

fa

lexindf JV.

Pay what you can Friday

1 n 1

D A Y y I

World Cup Rugby

The Final, live from

the Millennium stadi-

um in Cardiff M y

money's an N e w

Zealand beating

Australia, but whoev-

be a damn entertain-

i ng match Go L o m u

Kung Fu Club

(Wu S h u Kwan)

Sou ths i de G y m

4 : 3 0 p m - 6 : 3 0 p m

Red Hot Chili Peppers

© W e m b l e y ; £18 50

Expensive, but the

Chili's will m a k e even

this v enue seem inti-

East is East

H o w cou ld you possibly

resist anything bi l led as

"A c o m e d y o f fami l ies ,

a ch ip shop , a n d a very

randy d o g " . C h e c k

local press fo r t imes.

Rugby World Cup

2 00pm, ITV

The final, live f r o m

Cardiff,' should see

N e w Zealand thrash-

ing the Aussics

Intimate House

Live art . A c t o r s c r e a t e

a n i n t i m a t e , e r o t i c

s p a c e with th ie r a u d i -

e n c e . O h errrr...

South London Gal lery

£1.50 Cone .

Death In Vegas @

Shepherd's Bush

Empire; £10

C o o l sounds you c a n

hear for free if you win

ou r c o m p o n p. 1 7.

V a m p i r e s

G r i m offering from

Warner West End

Virgin Trocodero

Bremner, Bird

and Fortune

C 4 , 9 p m

W a t c h t h e sa t i r i s t ' s

r ip the piss o u t of

T o n y ' s P e o p l e . N i c e

Romeo e Giulietta

Fresh a n d o r i g i o n a l

a d a p t a t i o n of t h e :

c l a s s i c Love:story.

R iver S ide S tud ios

£1 6 C o n e .

W h a t m o r e d o you

LFF

The London Film Festi-

val gets into gear, with a

multitude of screenings

every day at the N a t i on -

al Film Theatre and the

O d e o n West End.

With eight w e e k s to

go until the millenni-

u m ,

-

schedules and break

out the cash. C o o f .

s

c

p

eh

h

weekly celebration S u n d a y s 3pm & 6pm

i m p e r i a l M e d i c a l C a m p u s ( c h a r i n g C r o s s )

T h e D r e w T h e a t r e , R e y n o l d s B u i I d i n g ,

S t . D u n s t a n s R d , H a m m e r s m i t h , W6

midweek cell s

v

ardent daily prayer s

32 s x

Mountaineering Society

BEN PICKERSGILL

At first t h ou g h t , it al l s e e m s ra ther

m a d : p i l i ng into a m i n i b u s o n a

c o l d Fr iday n ight , b o m b i n g up the

M l for a c o u p l e of hours a n d then

w a n d e r i n g into a f i e l d , at m i d n i g h t ,

with a to rch as y o u r on ly l ight

sou rce in w h i c h to pitch a tent!

O k a y , so it is m a d , but why not?

O h , a n d the r e a s o n fo r th is? To get

two a w e s o m e days , c l i m b i n g the

gr i ts tone c r ags of the Peak Distr ict .

As a relat ive nov i ce to the w o r l d o f

rock c l i m b i n g , I wasn ' t qu i te sure

wha t to expec t , but just the t h o u g h t

of l eav ing L o n d o n for the w e e k e n d

was r e a s o n e n o u g h to g o . W a k i n g

up o n Sa tu rday m o r n i n g to the

s o u n d of whis t l ing b i rds ra ther t han

rush-hour traf f ic , with the c r a g on ly

a few minutes away , I was c o n -

v inced I h a d m a d e the right d e c i -

s i o n !

W i th al l the ban te r f r o m m o r e

e x p e r i e n c e d c l ub m e m b e r s a b o u t

past t r i u m p h s a n d p l ans for the day,

I w o n d e r e d if it w o u l d be poss ib l e

to c l i m b any th ing w i thout l o o k i n g

tota l ly pa thet i c . The skill of these

p e o p l e , however , m e a n s that o n e is

a b l e to d e v e l o p at their o w n p a c e

in a re l axed a n d safe en v i r on m en t .

W e were very lucky as there was no

rain a l l w e e k e n d , with the a d d e d

b o n u s of sun o n Sunday , m a k i n g

those first m o v e s even m o r e en joy-

a b l e !

Return ing to L o n d o n o n S u n d a y

n ight , I felt r e f r e shed , a lbe i t t i red ,

a n d ready to take o n those 9 a m

lectures ! It was cer ta in ly o n e of the

best w e e k e n d s I've h a d in two years

of b e i n g at Imper ia l .

As wel l as these t r ips , wh i ch a re

run every o the r w e e k e n d , the c l ub

visits a L o n d o n c l i m b i n g wa l l every

W e d n e s d a y . This is where I d i d my

first c l i m b , a n d a l t h o u g h o u t d o o r

c l i m b i n g is a di f ferent g a m e to wa l l

c l i m b i n g , it is a n exce l l en t way of

s e e i n g what c l i m b i n g is all a b o u t ,

w i thout the c o m m i t m e n t of a w h o l e

w e e k e n d away. C l i m b i n g wa l l s

a l s o he lp you to i m p r o v e you r t e c h -

n i q u e , w h e t h e r you d e c i d e to g o

Gliding Club

CHRIS SMART

It has b e e n a busy a n d success fu l

s u m m e r for I C G C , a l l- in-a l l . The

new c o m m i t t e e have t a k e n up the i r

posts n o w that a new term has

star ted, but the c a p t a i n c y h a d b e e n

v a c a t e d ear ly by A n d y H o l m e s '

depa r tu r e for p i lot t r a in ing with BA .

I C G C wishes A n d y a l l the best fo r

the future a n d g o o d luck on his

cou r se .

O n o u r o w n s u m m e r c o u r s e

(the first w e e k of the vaca t i on ) a

few hardy i nd i v i dua l s b r a v e d the

p o o r w e a t h e r to get s o m e so l id

t ra in ing in late in June , a n d o v e r

the c o u r s e s u m m e r of the s u m m e r

a lot of g e n e r a l f l y ing was d o n e in

ou r 2-seater, 4 9 6 . It is g o o d to see

it in use out of te rm t i m e . The c u l -

m i n a t i o n of this w a s 2 f irst-solos at

the e n d of s u m m e r fo r H e m r a j

N i t h i a n a n d a r a j a h a n d D u n c a n

Ashley . We l l d o n e guys , a n d k e e p it

up !

W e have s o l d o u r bas i c s ing le

seat g l ider , 2 9 6 to a D u t c h c l u b ,

a n d it is s o o n to be r e p l a c e d with a

h ighe r p e r f o r m a n c e r a c ing gl ider .

This is part of a n o n g o i n g p l an to

keep the c lub ' s e q u i p m e n t up to

date a n d compe t i t i v e fo r those w h o

are at c o m p e t i t i o n s t a n d a r d .

O n the c o m p e t i t i o n f ront , Luke

R e b b e c k t o o k o u r A S W 2 4 , 9 6 , out

to the first W o r l d J u n i o r G l i d i n g

C h a m p i o n s h i p s at Terlet, H o l l a n d .

C a p t a i n C h r i s Smar t a l s o went ou t

to c rew fo r h im . H igh l i gh t s of the

trip i n c l u d e d get t ing stuck in a

F rench traff ic j a m , g l i d e r in tow,

with a n in f l a tab le p last ic c o w no

the roof of the car. N o t at a i i c o n -

s p i c u o u s t h e n ! A l s o we go t the g l i d -

er t ra i l e r f l a shed by a s p e e d c a m -

era o n the way h o m e . G o o d job

the t ra i l e r w a s there , o r they m igh t

have b e e n a b l e to see the n u m b e r

p late a n d work out w h o I w a s ! Luke

f i n i shed 2 5 t h o v e r a l l , a g o o d result

c o n s i d e r i n g he was the younges t

pi lot there . H e f o l l o w e d this up with

a 2 n d p l a c e in the British Jun io rs .

Contact Chris

christopher.smart@ic.ac.uk

l l l l i l i^

o u t d o o r s o r not. S o , you feel l ike

h a v i ng a g o ? T h e n just turn up a n d

c o m e a l o n g . W e meet at the c o l -

lege c l i m b i n g wa l l (off the wa lkway ,

next to STA Travel) on W e d n e s d a y s

at 1 p m . A!! you n e e d is yourse l f

(well , a n d a b o u t ten quid! ) By

a b o u t 6 p m we tend to leave the

wa l l a n d h e a d for a p u b s o m e -

w h e r e a r o u n d c o l l e g e f o r a n

e v e n i n g of cha t t i ng a n d r e l axa t i on .

S o , my a d v i c e to a n y o n e gett ing a

bit f ed up with da i l y c o l l e g e l ife: f o r-

get S o u t h s i d e , fo rge t tutor ia l sheets.

Pack y o u r r u cksac k a n d jump in the

m i n i b u s . Be l i eve m e , it's a blast !

Contact Megan

megan.bradley@ic.ac.uk.

ICU Jazz and Rock presents.

CALAMARI l

P

http://listen.to/calamari

Debut EP " A little More" now available

Catch C A L A M A R I live at :

7/11/99 : The Monarch, Camden

On stage @9.00pm

Bar open until lam

£5/£4 with flyer

Flyers available from Union office

1 s 3

IC Radio

The Back Room Launch Party - FREE BEER -

- T O P Q U A L I T Y DJs -

- C L A S S S O U N D S Y S T E M -

IC Rad io has just invested o v e r

£2000 in o u r cosy venue at the e n d

of Souths ide Bar. You c a n n o w e x p e -

rience cr isp t reb le , s u p e r b mus i c a n d

a t hunde rous bass (courtesy of two

18 inch subwoofe rs ) , thanks to a

b rand new s o u n d system.

To d e m o n s t r a t e just h o w g o o d

the system is, o u r t o p DJs wi l l be

p lay ing a var iety of m u s i c f r o m the

latest u n d e r g r o u n d s o u n d s , t o

t r ance , a n d every th ing in b e t w e e n .

A l s o to ce l eb ra t e the o p e n i n g we

wil l have a 9 0 pint keg of FREE

C a r l s b e r g o n of fer to a l l w h o c o m e

d o w n . The al l-star DJ l ine-up is as

f o l l ow s :

19:00-19:30 - Laur ie (house)

19:30-20:15 - J a m e s Dynes

(trance)

20 :15-21:15-Tom G . & J a m e s

[Back2Back] (trance)

21:15-22:00-Mat t (hard house )

22:00-23:00 - A l i ck Sethi (under-

g r o u n d e lec t ron ica )

22:45-Close - DJ Lethal (d rum &

bass) + M C

:

Thursday , 4 th N o v e m b e r

1 9 : 0 0 - Ba r C l o s e .

:

The B a c k R o o m - at the e n d of

S o u t h s i d e (past the toi lets , f o l l o w

the mus i c ) .

How:

If y o u l ike wha t you hear , we DJ

in the B a c k R o o m EVERY T h u r s d a y

a n d Fr iday n ight f r o m 8 till late . W e

DJ a l l var ie t ies of m u s i c f r o m the

C h e e s i e s t 7 0 s m u s i c a l l the way to

the latest u n d e r g r o u n d t e c h n o a n d

d r u m & bass .

Contact Dave Edwards

i.cradio@ic.ac.uk.

The Felix Crossword, by Turnip Henry

Answer to 1154

Across: D e c i m a t e , s c o p e s , g u a c a mo le , a t t i c , s ah ib , s t eps , s to t s , v i a I,el l i pse , ve rd i , i ndus t r i a l i -

sa t ion ,c rypt , t a n t r u m , o r e s , p a r k s , c h e a p , t h i e f , e n a t e , m a c d o n a ! d , a s s i s i , i n d e c e n t .

Down: O r g a s m , d r a k e , c l a s s , m o o r s , t h e seven acts of m a n , c r a b s , p o t p o u r r i , c h i a n t i , c u s h -

i o n s , p i l a u , mi nt ,mi nee p i e , d a y b r e a k s , ref r a i n , s e t s , t ough , spades , s t ews , soc l e , c l o ve , exa l t .

PS. Sorry a b o u t the n a m e c h a n g e s . This o n e s h o u l d stay. But t h en , w h o knows ?

Fo r that matter : w h o c a r e s ? luv Turn ip .

s 1. G l a c i a l h o l l o w has n o

vowels . (3)

4. Ot is and co . like insects. (9)

8. G i r l makes you s low

d o w n . (5)

9. Fire he used to m a k e

cow. (6)

1 1. She rpa b loke has P i cas-

so . (5)

1 2 . L a b i u m ? O h . Ph i l ip ,

Imperial C o l l e g e , has a n

affinity fo r fat. (10)

13 . The Span i sh Aus t ra l i an

utility veh ic le washes out. (5)

14 . G o b a c k w a r d s after

m e d i c a l of f icer p lay ing syn-

thesizer. (4)

1 6.� o r b lock of stone. (7)

1 8.Pub profit is c h e a p . (7)

2 0 . N eg a t i v e p l easure for

f l o o d survivor. (4)

2 3 . Real m a n keeps k i n g -

d o m . (5)

2 5 . D e c e m b e r . In adver t

H e - M a n is mult i- faceted.

(10)

2 7 . The who l e orchestra likes

ice-cream without fruit. (5)

2 8 . C o o k e r f r agmen t has

m a g i c r ing. (6)

2 9 . C a m e r o n exc la ims it

conta ins d i v a l ence . (5)

3 0 . Ministry of D e f e n c e hes-

itates at e ins te in ium: it

restrains. (9)

31 . Turn the barre l over : it

c a n be t igh tened . (3)

n 1. C o i n - o p m a n m a k e s

f r i end . (9)

2. S tone ba l l . (6)

3. C h a r g e d part ic le v o d k a

gets you to H e a v e n . (1 0)

5. M o n t y says " C h i p s ,

s a u s a g e , e g g s , b a c o n ,

s a u s a g e , e g g s . . . " ? (3,4)

6. A l is ta i r l ikes boys a n d

girls: he has a n excuse . (5)

7. M a s t e r is upr ight . (3)

9. C o o l post off ice is huge

a n d has w a r m b l o o d . (5)

1 0 . D ie t ecstacy is the best.

(5)

1 2 . Wet vege tab l e . (4)

1 5 . G r u n t ! A n a g a is huge !

(10)

1 7 . C o m p l i c a t e d integrals

are the most twisted. (9)

1 8 . O v e r heat river. (4)

1 9. C o m m u n i s t in c o m p a n y

has a bel ief system. (5)

21 . O h ! Trev d o e s s o m e r -

sault openly . (5)

2 2 . Lady ' s outfit s o u n d s

hairy. (7)

2 4 . D o g moun ts sheep . (6)

2 6 . E lec t ron ic sheep w a n -

ders a r o u n d at a w a l k i n g

p a c e . (5)

2 8 . O n o m a t o p o e i c stench (3)

4 s x

Bart s outplayed by skillful IC

Football - amazingly long report for minor match

Impe r i a l VI 2

S B L H III

Fo r th is , o u r s e c o n d l e a g u e g a m e

of the s e a s o n , the o m e n s w e r e

b a d : t he kit b r i e f l y f o r g o t t e n ,

w a l k i n g t h r o u g h H y d e Park in the

p o u r i n g r a i n , a s e v e r e p l a y e r

s h o r t a g e , the re w e r e e v e n p r o b -

lems l o c a t i n g o u r c o a c h ! In the

e n d it w a s a p a s t i c c i o o f n e w c o m -

ers , p l a ye r s l o o t e d f r o m the sev-

enths ( chee rs , J am i l ) a n d sixth

t e a m ve t e r ans w h o t o o k the f i e l d

a g a i n s t Bar ts . E ven c a p t a i n M i k e

N i k o l i c h w a s unf i t to p lay , i n s t e a d

t a k i n g the ro l e o f r e f e r e e , thus

r es to r ing e x - c a p t a i n R o b D a v e n -

por t t o s k i p p e r f o r the day .

H is first d e c i s i o n - to k i ck in to

the w i n d d u r i n g the o p e n i n g 4 5

m i n u t e s - r a i s e d a f ew e y e b r o w s

but by the b r e a k he w a s fu l ly v i n -

d i c a t e d , w i th I m p e r i a l c o m i n g in a

g o a l t o the g o o d . Th i s a r r i v e d

a f te r o n e of m a n y IC b r e a k a w a y s

d u r i n g the first ha l f , w i th B o o t h

f ina l l y s l o t t i ng the b a l l h o m e f r o m

a n a r r o w a n g l e . M e a n w h i l e , the

m e d i c s c o n t e s t e d tha t the b a l l h a d

a l r e a d y run ou t of play . In fac t ,

w i th a c o u p l e o f g o a l s o n the

o p e n i n g d a y a n d a hat-tr ick in a

m i d w e e k f r i end l y , J a m e s is a l r e a d y

f i l l i ng the v o i d left by the d e p a r -

ture o f U L U L e a g u e G o l d e n B o o t

w i n n e r T o m W i l s o n t o the f i f ths.

The m e d i c s t h e m s e l v e s m a d e

little use of the w i n d y c o n d i t i o n s

d u r i n g the o p e n i n g p e r i o d , every

u n i m a g i n a t i v e t h r o u g h b a l l b e i n g

e i t he r d e a l t w i th wi th c o n s u m m a t e

e a s e by n e w c e n t r e - b a c k p a i r i n g

D e n B r a b e r a n d H e a d , o r e lse

s k i d d i n g off the wet turf in to the

g r a t e f u l a r m s o f k e e p e r A n d y

P e a s e , w h o d i d n ' t miss a t h i n g a l l

day .

W i t h the s e c o n d p e r i o d ha rd l y

s t a r t ed , any t h o u g h t s o f a n S B L H

o n s l a u g h t w e r e l a i d f i rmly to rest

as m i d f i e l d p l a y m a k e r D a n W i l s o n

f o l l o w e d u p a s t r ing o f a t t empts in

the Bar ts a r e a to fire h o m e the

l o o s e b a l l : t w o - n i l . D e s p i t e p lenty

of t i m e to d r a w l e v e l , the m e d i c s

w e r e n e v e r in the g a m e pas t th is

p o i n t , w i t h R o b s t a m p i n g o u t

eve r y th i ng in m i d f i e l d .

T o w a r d s the e n d o n e of the

f rus t r a t ed S B L H p l aye r s r e so r t e d to

s o m e s t a m p i n g of his o w n , t h o u g h

of a d i f f e ren t k i n d , a n d w a s du l y

w a r n e d of his c o n d u c t by the ref-

e r e e , w h o h a d a c o m p e t e n t g a m e

a l l r o u n d . E v e n w h e n Ba r t s

s c r a p p e d the i r f ive m a n m i d f i e l d

a n d rever ted to 4-4-2 it w a s n o

use , w i th the i r a t t a ck p r o v i n g just

as i m p o t e n t as b e f o r e . I m p e r i a l

l o o k e d d a n g e r o u s o n the c o u n t e r

t h r o u g h o u t the ha l f , w i th Lu is

Q u a r a n t a o n the le f t-wing r u n n i n g

the o p p o s i t i o n a merry d a n c e ,

wh i l s t D a n M y a t t a n d J a m e s d i d

l i kew i se up f ron t . D o u g H i n e s u p -

p l i e d a s t r ing of qua l i t y c r o s s e s

f r o m the r ight a n d it is true to say

that the v i c to ry w o u l d h a v e b e e n

f a r m o r e c o m p r e h e n s i v e h a d it

not b e e n f o r the h e r o i c s o f the

o p p o s i t i o n n o . 1.

S o , a g r e a t t e a m p e r f o r m a n c e

b u r i e d the g h o s t of a f ew m o n t h s

a g o . A f t e r a s e c o n d ha l f d o w n -

pour , a r a i n b o w g r e e t e d the f i n a l

wh i s t l e , h o p e f u l l y h e r a l d i n g a n e w

d a w n f o r the sixth t e a m a f te r the

d o u r p e r f o r m a n c e s so far. A t the

very least , w e t a k e f r o m the g a m e

o u r first th ree po in t s o f the l e a g u e

s e a s o n a n d a l a r g e b o u t o f c o n -

t en tmen t .

Football 4ths

G K T IV

IC IV 2

A n o t h e r m a t c h day , a n o t h e r r a n -

d o m t e a m wi th o d d s a n d ends

he re a n d the re - w e s h o u l d rea l l y

h a ve t h r a s h e d this t e a m s ince

they a re a d i v i s i o n b e l o w us, but

yet a n o t h e r g a m e o f m i s s e d

c h a n c e s a n d d u b i o u s m i d f i e l d

p lay r esu l t ed in o n l y t w o g o a l s .

T h e first c a m e in the first ha l f wi th

J a v i e r h a v i n g a s p e c u l a t i v e shot

at the a w f u l G K T g o a l k e e p e r w h o

let it c r e e p pas t h i m into the net.

T h e s e c o n d c a m e f r o m a g o o d

m o v e ea r l y in the first ha l f wi th

B o l a p l a y i n g it o u t w i d e to N i m a

w h o w h i p p e d a l ow c ross into the

b o x that w a s n i ce l y s lo t ted in by

Knut f o r his s e c o n d g o a l of the

s e a s o n .

W e d e s p e r a t e l y m i s s e d C a p -

ta in A i d a n B a n k s up f ront with his

k i l l e r ins t inct a n d g r e a t f i n i s h i n g ,

c h a n c e a f te r c h a n c e went b e g -

g i n g but n o t h i n g w a s c o m i n g

a l t h o u g h the f o r w a r d s , M a x a n d

J a v i , r an the i r hear ts o u t a n d L a u -

rie in the s e c o n d ha l f h a d a few

g o o d t o u c h e s . Pey rouz hit the

pos t w i th a g r e a t sho t a n d h a d a

f ew g o o d trys at g o a ! at o the r

t imes but h a d to c o m e off at half-

t im e d u e t o a d o d g y a n k l e .

Shotguns at dawn

Rifle Shooting

At 9 . 0 0 a m the d r e g s of s o c i e t y

g a t h e r e d at the S p o r t s c e n t r e , yes

the R P C w a s g o i n g o n a s h o t g u n

t r ip . By 1 0 the d r e g s m o v e d to the

m i n i b u s a n d a fa i r l y u n e v e n t f u l

j o u r n e y t o J J 's S h o t g u n a r a m a

E m p o r i u m e n s u e d .

O n a r r i v a l a n d a f te r s e v e r a l

c u p s of t e a a n d s u i t a b l e a p p r e c i -

a t i o n of the K i n g C h a r l e s p u p p i e s

we g o t o n w i th the t ask o f s h o o t -

i n g . E a c h o f the f o u r g r o u p s p e r -

f o r m e d w e l l w i th little d r a m a -

s h o o t i n g v a r i e d b e t w e e n e x c e l l e n t

a n d e n t h u s i a s t i c . G u y p e r f o r m e d

w e l l , w i n n i n g the m e n ' s t r o p h y

wi th a s o l i d 3 4 , wh i l s t R a c h e l t o o k

h o m e the l a d i e s t r ophy . A n d the

w o o d e n s p o o n w a s jo int ly s h a r e d

b e t w e e n J a k e a n d A d e l i n e w h o s e

s h o o t i n g c o u l d o n l y b e d e s c r i b e d

as a g r e a t s t e a m i n g p i l e o f e n t h u -

siasm.

O n c e the s h o o t i n g t h i n g h a d

b e e n d o n e w e g o t o n w i th the rest

o f the day , a n d the c l u b d i v i d e d

b e t w e e n the d r u n k s a n d the s h o p -

p e r s . " S e v e r a l h o u r s / b a r g a i n s /

p in ts l a te r we b e g a n to w e n d o u r

m e r r y w a y h o m e . T h e s t ra ins o f

" S t a y i n ' A l i v e " a n d Rol f H a r r i s

a n d the a c c o m p a n y i n g d a n c e

c h o r e o g r a p h y e n t e r t a i n e d the

t ra f f i c a l l the way.

W e c o n g r a t u l a t e D a v e Tu rne r

f o r s n a p p i n g his g u n , M a r k C a r t e r

f o r o n c e a g a i n ge t t i ng his f a c e in

the way , a n d B e n , o u r d r i ve r , f o r

his m a n y k i n d to i l e t s t o p s .

If y o u ' d i ike to c o m e a l o n g

a n d try s h o t g u n s , s h o p p i n g , r i f les ,

a r c h e r y o r a i r g u n s c o m e d o w n t o

the S p o r t s C e n t r e in P r inces G a r -

d e n s a n d l o c a t e the P ro j e c t i l e

Join up for ICU's newest club - Military Coup Soc

H a l l , w h e r e y o u ' l l f i nd a f r i e n d l y

b a n d of r e s p o n s i b l e p e o p l e w h o

wi l l s h o w y o u h o w to jo in u p .

T h e Rif le a n d P isto l C l u b .

1 t 5

Surprise-disco boys win Seconds flatten Bart's Hockey - Disco Squad Men's Rugby

IC III

U C L

O v e r m a n y y e a r s o f g l o r i o u s

h o c k e y IC h a d n e v e r b e a t e n U C L

- u n t i l t o d a y tha t is . U n d e r the

i n s p i r e d l e a d e r s h i p o f s t a n d in

C a p t a i n C a s a n o v a , T h e D i s c o

Boys s t r o l l e d o u t o n t o the f i e l d o f

d r e a m s a n d g a v e the U C L R a b b l e

a g o o d w h i p p i n g .

T h e m i g h t y s u n m e d a l l i o n

w a s s h i n n i n g f r o m t h e o f f a n d a

g o a l a l w a y s l o o k e d i n e v i t a b l e .

A f t e r s o m e s e r i o u s n o c t u r n a l

act iv i ty at the w e e k e n d the S u n -

d a n c e K i d w a s s u r p r i s i n g l y a c t i v e

a n d w e a v e d s o m e m a g i c a r o u n d

the d e f e n c e . W h i l e U C L s t o o d

m e s m e r i s e d by S u n d a n c e ' s River-

d a n c e style f o o t w o r k , H a e m o r -

r h o i d s s l i p p e d a craf ty o n e pas t

the k e e p e r .

W h e r e o n e h a d l e d m o r e

w o u l d su re l y f o l l o w . H a v i n g p o l -

i s h e d o u r s h o r t c o r n e r in a n

i n t e n s i v e t r a i n i n g s e s s i o n , F i l t rum

m a n a g e d t o s c r a m b l e o n e i n .

W i t h F i l t rum g i v i n g a g o o d

s e r v i c i n g t o a n y o n e , w h o w a n t e d

it, J e sus s l o t t ed in a b e a u t y f r o m

the t o p of the D. A f t e r i nv i t i ng

h i m s e l f a l o n g Twat d e m o n s t r a t e d

a l l h is sk i l l by s c o r i n g f r o m 2

i n c h e s .

T h e s e c o n d ha l f w a s a d m i t -

ted l y c r a p w i th n e i t h e r t e a m s c o r -

i n g , bu t w e ' r e 2 9 g o a l s u p f r o m 3

B U S A g a m e s . N i c e !

ICI I

St Bart 's

7 4

.. 0

Desp i t e p l a y i ng wha t was poss ib l y

o u r worst g a m e in three yea rs , we

none the less des t royed a n o t h e r set

of m e d i c s . W i th a s ide that cons i s t-

e d of only six of last w e e k ' s s tar t ing

l ine up we started with a f resh , if

i n e x p e r i e n c e d l ine up . As the s e c -

o n d s start, it s o o n b e c a m e c l e a r

that even the new s e c o n d s s ide

c o u l d kick s o m e arse e ven w h e n

they were p l ay ing wel l b e l o w par.

The first try c a m e s o o n af ter the

whist le with a p e r i o d of p lay that

the a l l -b lacks w o u l d have b e e n

p r o u d of, be ing conve r t ed by J im

S o p p e r u n d e r the posts. M o r e

tries c a m e eventua l ly with the s e c -

o n d s b e i n g a b o u t 3 5 - 0 up at half

t ime .

A f t e r a roya l roas t ing the s e c -

o n d s d i d not i m p r o v e but still m a n -

a g i n g to put m a n y tries d o w n u n d e r

the posts . In the e n d , the s co re d i d

not rea l ly s h o w the d o m i n a n c e of

s e c o n d s with a s co r e l i n e 1 5 0 - 0

b e i n g m u c h m o r e representa t i ve .

A t the e n d , m a n of m a t c h N i c k

Parker e n d e d with 3 tries a n d a

tota l o f 2 9 po in t s . Tries a l s o c a m e

f r o m G l T i m D e n y e r with 3, freshers

c a p t a i n T i m C o l l i n s with 2 a n d a try

e a c h f r o m J im S o p p e r , Jeff M a c e ,

U g o , a n d J an S t e p h e n s o n .

How ev e r , w e k n o w w h e n the

h a r d t e a m s start p l a y i n g us in B U S A

we wi l l n e e d to i m p r o v e by 4 0 0 %

C o m e o n the s e c o n d s .

IN BRIEF ICSM Hockey Netball

I C S M I .

R U M S I

This f a t i g u i n g m a t c h e n d e d bo th

o n e g o a l a p i e c e , a n d o n e d i s l o -

ca t ed s h o u l d e r a p i e c e at Pad . Rec.

The skill s h o w n by both s ides w a s of

a surpr is ing ear ly s e a s o n qual i ty,

but the f in ish ing was at t imes w o e -

fu l , cu lm ina t i ng in a missed penal ty

flick by R U M S in the 65 t h minute .

I C S M s c o r e d first t h r o u g h a

c lass ic p o a c h e r ' s strike f r o m Jez

Boyle , after a short c o r n e r b r e a k -

d o w n , a n d then was ted a series o f

g o o d oppor tun i t i es to kill off the

g a m e . After the restart the R U M S '

centre mid f i e ld b e g a n to take a n

o m i n o u s s t r ang l eho ld o n the mid-

f ie ld , until fortuitously f o r I C S M he

d i s l oca ted his shou lde r , f o u l i n g in

cent re f ie ld . N o t to be o u t d o n e ,

N i c k Keysel l went a n d p o p p e d his

s h o u l d e r out a t tempt ing a power fu l

c l e a r a n c e , a n d in the e n s u i n g c o n -

f u s i o n N i c k ' s o p p o s i t e n u m b e r

s c o r e d with I C S M still in tac t i ca l

d i sa r ray . A t ense 1 5 m i n u t e s

r e m a i n e d as both s ides a t t empted

to spurn as m a n y c h a n c e s as p o s -

s ib le , a n d w h e n the f ina l whist le

b l ew bo th t e a m s left to l ick their

w o u n d s a n d r ebuke themse l ves fo r

their o w n waste fu lness in front of

g o a l .

IC I 1 7

St G e o r g e ' s 1 7

This w a s (yet aga in ) a ser ious ly

c l o s e m a t c h .

T ight m a r k i n g f r o m S t . G e o r g e ' s

d e f e n c e (and s o m e d u b i o u s eye

s h a d i n g u n d e r the p r e t e n c e of

mark ing ) m e a n t that the IC g o a l

f l ow was r e d u c e d to a few o u t s t a n d -

ing shots f r om R e b e k a h a n d S a r a in

the first half. Pau la " the r o a d r u n n e r "

d i d he r th i ng , f e e d i n g the bal l in

a n d a r o u n d the c i rc le to set up the

shoo te r s , a n d a f i red up Kirstie kept

the St G e o r g e ' s W A wel l u n d e r c o n -

tro l . At half t ime , the s co re was 9-9 .

A few substitut ions later a n d

with Becky, the u m p i r e , mutter ing

" h o w d o e s this pen w o r k ? " the s e c -

o n d half got unde rway to a fu r ious

p a c e . Jess a n d J a n e z o o m e d

a r o u n d the court , a n d the de fens i ve

c o m b i n a t i o n of A lex ( occas iona l l y

l o o k i n g rather surpr i sed w h e n the

ba l l b o u n c e d in front of her) a n d

Kathryn in the IC c i r c le , kept us in

con ten t i on . Th ings were l o o k i n g up

with 1 3 m i n s to g o w h e n the St.

G e o r g e ' s centre twisted her ank l e

a n d the i ce p a c k s were b r o k e n

o p e n . A s St G e o r g e ' s h a d n o s u b -

stitutes, w e t o o k the oppor tun i t y to

try a n d bury her u n d e r a pi le o f

coa ts u n d e r the pretext of keep in g

he r w a r m , thus r e d u c i n g the i r t e a m

to 6 p l a ye r s . U n f o r t u n a t e l y her

team-mates d i d not forget a b o u t

her, a n d her injury w a s not ser ious

so she was a b l e to p lay o n . In the

dy ing m o m e n t s of the g a m e , two

quick-f ire g o a l s s aw IC d r a w level

a n d c l a i m a we l l -dese r ved draw.

W e l l p l a y e d e v e r y o n e ! N e x t t ime

we W I N !

Men's Football (5ths)

K i n g s V 3

IC V 4

A f t e r a p o o r p e r f o r m a n c e in the

l e a g u e o n Sa tu rday , l o s i n g 2-0 to

LSE VI , we n e e d e d a b o o s t in this

g a m e a g a i n s t a t e a m f r o m the

d i v i s i o n a b o v e to k i ck start o u r

l e a g u e c a m p a i g n . O n c e the

o p p o s i t i o n h a d m a n a g e d to f i nd

the i r o w n g r o u n d , a n d s o r t e d ou t

w h i c h o n e of t h e m w a s c a p t a i n ,

the g a m e g o t u n d e r w a y , with K i n g s

l o o k i n g l ike a b u n c h of thugs w h o

m i g h t k n o w h o w to p l a y f o o t b a l l .

W e s t a r t ed b a d l y , c o n c e d i n g

a g o a l e a r l y o n , w h e n t h e i r s t r i ke r

(the c o c k i e s t b a s t a r d e v e r k n o w n )

c o l l e c t e d the ba l l a n d sent a l o w

sho t i n to the c o r n e r . K i n g s l o o k e d

l ike a t e a m w h o e x p e c t e d t o w i n

1 0-0 wi th e a s e . But IC V n e v e r l ie

d o w n (except in the b a r at the e n d

o f the night) a n d w e c a m e s t o r m -

i n g b a c k wi th a g r e a t f i n i sh f r o m

Si " M a h a t m a " G a n d y . W e w e r e

n o w p l a y i n g s o m e g r e a t f o o t b a l l ,

w i th e v e n W i l l " G O D " (or is tha t

" D O G " ) D o w b o r ge t t i ng in to the

g a m e . T h e s e c o n d g o a l c a m e

a f te r t he i r k e e p e r f u m b l e d a s a v e ,

r ea l l y p i s s i n g the c o c k y gits off.

But o u r f o o t b a l l w a s s a d l y Kee-

g e n - e s q a n d they m a n a g e d to

f l u k e a g o a l b a c k t o m a k e it 2-2

at ha l f t i m e .

A f t e r the b r e a k , the s e c o n d

h a l f s t a r t e d . Th i s w a s h a n d y , as it

a l l o w e d o u r r e s i d e n t d i n o s a u r to

c o m p l e t e h is ha t t r i ck wi th a n e a t

b a c k h e a d e r in to the t o p c o r n e r ,

a n d a n o t h e r f i ne f i n i s h a f t e r a

g r e a t m o v e d o w n the left. K i n g s

late c o n s o l a t i o n m a d e it 4-3 at

the e n d , but they k n e w they w e r e

w e l l b e a t e n , e v e n a s k i n g the ref to

ca l l a halt early. . . C o m e o n K ings ,

t ake it, t ake it!

6 t x

Football firsts double up QMW Men's Football

Q M W I 2 c o r n e r f r o m W a r r e n w a s s m a s h e d O n a w i n d y S a t u r d a y i C f a c e d a

IC I 3 i n t o t h e net f r o m t h e h e a d o f o n - s t rong Q M W s q u a d .

( BUSA) f o r m F o u l s t o n e . Q M W e q u a l i s e d W e f a c e d the w i n d in the first

W e d n e s d a y s a w the return o f the a g a i n w h e n a p a r r i e d s h o t fe l l to hal f a n d , as e x p e c t e d , w e r e u n d e r

firsts to C h i s l e h u r s t , a p l a c e w e the fee t o f the i r g r a t e f u l s t r i ke r the c o s h . But, the three at the

are g r o w i n g to l o v e ! w h o m a d e n o m i s t a k e . Q M W b a c k of C h r i s , J a m i e a n d par t i cu-

F r o m the k i ck-o f f , n o q u a r t e r w a s t e d a f e w g o l d e n o p p o r t u n i - lar ly D a v e kept ou t the threa t ,

w a s g i v e n in a n y a r e a o f the t ies a n d they w e r e m a d e to pay In the s e c o n d ha l f it w a s a dif-

p i t c h . M i d - w a y t h r o u g h the f i rst w h e n Dirty W a r r e n f o u n d his scor ing ferent story, we l o o k e d t h r e a t e n i n g

ha l f a m e s m e r i s i n g r un f r o m m i d - boots : Latching o n to a h e a d e r f rom every t im e we h a d the ba l l a n d ,

f i e l d by S teve w a s r e w a r d e d w h e n A lex , War ren ' s exquisite lob left the a f t e r W a r r e n s p u r n e d a f e w

he w a s b r o u g h t d o w n in t h e b o x : Q M W keepe r s t randed . c h a n c e s , a n d J a m i e h a d his

Penal ty . U p s t e p p e d F o u l s t o n e Impressive debu t pe r fo rmances pena l t y s a v e d by the Q M W keep-

w h o s l o t t e d the s p o t k i ck c o o l l y f rom Al ista ir a n d D a i , contr ibuted to er, we t o o k the l e a d t h a n k s to a

into the b o t t o m c o r n e r . ano the r we l l-pol ished display f r om F o u l s t o n e f ree-k ick (c rap keepe r ) .

T h e s e c o n d h a l f s a w Q M W the firsts. S c o u s e s a v e d us n e a r t he

hit b a c k w h e n the IC d e f e n c e w a s d e a t h a n d the m i d f i e l d of S teve ,

f i n a l l y b r e a c h e d . U n d e t e r r e d , IC Q M W I 0 J u a n , D a n , Ph i l a n d c a p t a i n

d u g in a n d e a r n e d a w e l l - I C I 1 c o u r a g e o u s R i ch h e l d ou t f o r a

d e s e r v e d s e c o n d g o a l w h e n a (ULU League ) w e l l - d e s e r v e d v ictory.

Opposition rolled over by IC virgins Ladies Rugby

IC V i rg i n s 2 0 IC V i rg i n s 3 4 the s c rums out , a n d started r u ck i ng

K ing ' s 5 G K T 5 a n d m a u l i n g p roper l y . A f te r a l o n g

(Wed 27th ) (Sat 23 rd ) p e r i o d of t ight d e f e n c e by G K T ,

A l t h o u g h it w a s a h a r d g a m e w e H a v i n g lost a l a rge n u m b e r of 1st a n d m a n y s c r u m s , Betsy b r o k e

t r i u m p h e d a n d k i c k e d K i n g ' s c h o i c e p layers we went into the t h r o u g h to s c o r e a try.

A r s e ! T h e start w a s g r u l i n g bu t m a t c h with a little t r e p i d a t i o n , as The s e c o n d ha l f s ta r ted wi th

w e kep t it in t h e i r h a l f a n d R o m y we bea t G K T in a h a r d f o u g h t f ina l e v en m o r e p ressu re f r o m G K T , but

b r o k e t h r o u g h to s c o r e h e r f irst o f last year. a we l l p l a c e d h i g h k ick f r o m Romy,

4 t r i es ! It c a n no t be d e n i e d tha t N o n e the less we f o u g h t the c h a s e d by Betsy, r esu l t ed in a run-

K i n g ' s d i d ge t a try bu t they ra in a n d a s l ippery b a l l , a n d h a d a a w a y try.

w o r k e d h a r d a n d it w a s t h e i r f irst p r o m i s i n g start. A n ear ly try f r o m U n f o r t u n a t e l y , o u r l ine outs

a n d l as t , s o a f t e r w e s c o r e d o u r C a r i a n n e set o u r spirits h i g h a n d we re n e v e r up to s t a n d a r d . They

th i rd try w e f o r g a v e t h e m . T h e d e m o r a l i s e d the a l r e a d y w e a r y s t o l e o u r b a l ! a n d c r a s h e d

s c r u m s w e r e nas ty w i th us o f t e n G K T . Romy c o n v e r t e d to leave us t h r o u g h , put t ing the b a c k s o n t o

l o o s i n g g r o u n d but C a d g y s to l e f ee l i ng very con f i den t . the w r o n g f o o t , a n d they s c o r e d ,

m o s t o f t h e i r s c r u m s , a n d w e F r o m the re-start w e were b a c k H o w e v e r , a q u i c k start f r o m Romy

m a d e u p g r o u n d in t h e r u c k s a n d into the i r 2 2 . T h e pressure eventu- w a s c h a s e d d o w n a n d q u i c k han-

m a u l s , p l u s s o m e e x c e l l e n t al ly t o ld o n t h e m a n d exce l lent d l i n g a l l o w e d C a r r i a n e to s c o r e

spr in t s by the b a c k s . T h i s m a y be h a n d s f r o m the b a c k s a l l o w e d A l i B a g a i n .

d u e t o J o w i th h e r w a r cry a n d to put a l ! those pizzas to g o o d use The pressure m o u n t e d still fur-

v i s c o u s w a y s s c a r i n g o f f t h e a n d p o w e r o v e r for a 2 n d try. ther, but with c l e ve r w o r k f r o m the

K i n g ' s p l a y e r s . It w a s a h a r d Fo r the rest of the half , th ings f o r w a r d s , A l i B m a n a g e d to s c o r e

g a m e , bu t the t e a m p u l l e d it t i gh t ened up a n d a h a r d f ight fo l- u n d e r the pos ts , t a k i n g a d v a n t a g e

t o g e t h e r a n d w e w o n ! l o w e d . F ina l ly the fo rwards sor ted of the o v e r l a p . Romy c o n v e r t e d .

S C O R E B O A R D

H O C K E Y

I C S M 1 1 -1 R U M S 1

IC III 4 - 0 U C L

F O O T B A L L

IC 1 3 - 2 Q M W 1

IC IV 2 - 0 G K T

IC V 4 - 3 K ings 3

IC VI 2 - 0 S B L H III

R U G B Y

IC 1 4 3 0 S B L H 1

IC II 7 4 - 0 S B L H II

IC V i rg i n s 2 0 5 K ings

B A D M I N T O N

IC 1 6 - 3 Q M W

IC W o m e n 0 - 9 Kings

B A S K E T B A L L

IC M e n 5 0 - 71 G K T

IC W o m e n 5 4 - 2 4 G K T

N E T B A L L

IC I 1 4 - 1 4 St G e o r g e s

S Q U A S H

IC II 2 - 3 K C L

Sports reports.

Wednesday evening.

Anytime.

A n d n o w s o m e en te r ta in ing

whi te s p a c e :

think that dese rves a n e n c o r e

N i c e .