Dr Micaela Connolly, Psychology Dept., BOCSI Autism Services South Lee, April 2020 1

This pack was put together to support parents to support their child who is anxious.

Below are some key messages we can give to our children.

▪ We say we have anxiety when we are worrying a lot.

▪ We all experience anxiety from time to time.

▪ While anxiety is a normal part of life, sometimes it becomes too

big and overwhelming.

▪ There are lots of things we can do to help with anxiety.

How anxiety affects us

• Anxiety affects our thoughts, our feelings

and our bodies.

• Anxiety may cause us to have certain reactions.

• We can use different strategies to help

us manage anxiety in our thoughts,

our feelings and our bodies / reactions.

thoughts

feelingsBody/ reactions

Dr Micaela Connolly, Psychology Dept., BOCSI Autism Services South Lee, April 2020 2

Anxiety can have many symptoms

Different people can feel different symptoms. Here are some of the more common

ones. You might think of some more.

Our bodies are designed to respond to

danger to keep us safe. Our bodies have

strong responses to frightening things or

situations. These strong responses

include the fight, flight, freeze, fawn and

faint reactions.

We sometimes have very little control

over these responses. They happen

automatically.

Sometimes when we are worried or

anxious, our body responds with fight,

flight, freeze, fawn or faint reactions. It

thinks we are in physical danger even

though we are not. It gets ready to act in

a physical way. Chemicals messages in

our body prepare our body for physical

action even though physical action might

not be needed.

Dr Micaela Connolly, Psychology Dept., BOCSI Autism Services South Lee, April 2020 3

Anxiety responses and how people behave

Anxiety Responses in Children with ASD – What We See (Griffith’s University)

Dr Micaela Connolly, Psychology Dept., BOCSI Autism Services South Lee, April 2020 4

When anxiety is severe, we talk about anxiety disorders. There are a number of

different anxiety disorders that children and young people can experience:

Why does a person’s anxiety get so big?

There can be a number of reasons someone can have a lot of anxiety.

We don’t always know why someone gets anxious, but we can be prepared and we

can support.

Some of us have a genetic reason for having more anxiety than others.

Some people have experienced very frightening events or bullying.

Some people are burnt out from working very hard and they need time to rest and recover.

Some people get anxious because of sensory things – noises, smells, bright lights, etc.

Some people get anxious because of uncertainty – they don’t know what’s happening next or when something will happen.

Look at the child’s daily activities to see if wellbeing can be

enhanced

Generalised anxiety disorder

Panic disorder

Phobias and fears

Social anxiety disorder

Agoraphobia

Separation anxiety

Selective mutism

Dr Micaela Connolly, Psychology Dept., BOCSI Autism Services South Lee, April 2020 5

What parents / carers can do to support their child with anxiety

Environmental supports

The environment can be very important in supporting people with anxiety.

❑ Is the environment reasonably calm and quiet?

❑ Is there a haven where the child can go if they need to?

❑ Does the child have routine and structure?

❑ Does the child have access to visual supports?

❑ Does the child have access to sensory supports?

https://www.autism.org.uk/about/family-life/in-the-home/environment.aspx

https://southleeasd.files.wordpress.com/2018/01/sensory-processing.pdf

https://southleeasd.wordpress.com/2018/01/31/overview-of-sensory-breaks/

https://southleeasd.files.wordpress.com/2018/01/visual-strategies-information-

sheet.pdf

Consult with GP to rule out medical conditions and discuss options for support

Look at the child’s environment to see if it can be made more calm, structured and predictable

Give the child information on what anxiety is and put proactive and reactive strategies in place

Practice breathing, calming and thinking techniques

Use low arousal techniques if necessary

Look at the child’s daily activities to see if wellbeing can be

enhanced

Dr Micaela Connolly, Psychology Dept., BOCSI Autism Services South Lee, April 2020 6

Enhancing wellbeing

A well-balanced day can help to reduce symptoms of anxiety.

❑ Having a good diet, good sleep routine, enough exercise and relaxation are key

in reducing stress and tension.

❑ For people who feel burnt out, rest and recovery is essential.

❑ Using breathing techniques can help some people to help ease symptoms.

❑ Sugary food and drinks and caffeine can make panic attacks worse. For

teenagers and adults, alcohol and smoking can make panic attacks worse.

Having information about anxiety

It is important for children to understand their own feelings. They can be helped to do

this by:

❑ Learning about feelings in their body: http://web.seru.sa.edu.au/wp-

content/uploads/2019/04/Interoception-101_March-2019.pdf ;

https://southleeasd.wordpress.com/2018/11/29/palm/ .

❑ Learning how to keep regulated: http://www.zonesofregulation.com/index.html

❑ Learning about anxiety: https://youtu.be/FfSbWc3O_5M , Beating Anxiety by

Davida Hartman.

Dr Micaela Connolly, Psychology Dept., BOCSI Autism Services South Lee, April 2020 7

How to help when your child is anxious in the moment

❑ Stay calm.

❑ Reassure your child that you are there and

that you see they are anxious.

❑ Gently interpret their feelings for them if they

don’t know what is happening.

❑ Reassure them that the feelings will pass.

❑ Gently coach them to take deep breaths if

this works or use another calming strategy

(e.g. haven, drawing, deep pressure).

❑ Give the child time to calm down and recover

How to help when your child is overwhelmed

❑ Sometimes when a child is

overwhelmed, they to be on

their own and they need space

or a haven to go to.

❑ This could be under a bed, in

a tent, in a comfortable place

in their room, etc.

❑ Some children need people

around them to use a low

arousal approach (see below).

Strategies to help with anxiety

Dr Micaela Connolly, Psychology Dept., BOCSI Autism Services South Lee, April 2020 8

Breathing

Breathing regulates your breath, which regulates your body, which regulates your

emotions, which helps you stay calm. Be aware this may not work for everyone as

some people can become anxious when they’re bodies feel calm.

There are lots of different breathing techniques to try.

Square breathing:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFdZXwE6fRE

Triangle breathing:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9Q8D6n-3qw

Nathan Pyle:

https://twitter.com/nathanwpyle/status/1139676955316559872

Dr Micaela Connolly, Psychology Dept., BOCSI Autism Services South Lee, April 2020 9

Calming Techniques

Have a plan around which calming strategies you can use with your child to help them

calm down. Deep pressure activities can be very calming for some people. Spending

time with pets can be very calming for others. Music or drawing can help other people

calm down.

Here are some suggestions from Máiréad, the Early Years Team Occupational

Therapist:

Stimming

Dr Micaela Connolly, Psychology Dept., BOCSI Autism Services South Lee, April 2020 10

Thinking strategies

Anxious and worried thoughts are just thoughts. Teach your child how to deal with

worrying and intrusive thoughts. Here are some ideas for dealing with them:

• Look at our thoughts as things we can change, for example, imagine your

thoughts are just clouds … watch them float away.

• Think about a problem, then scale the problem, for example, how big is the

problem? (scale of 1 to 5).

• Learn how feelings work, for example, using the Zones of Regulation.

• Learn about inner dialogue. This is the conversation a lot of people have in

their heads. Sometimes we say kind things to ourselves (our inner coach).

Sometimes we say unkind things to ourselves (our inner critic). We might

say more unkind things to ourselves when we are anxious. Learn to use

more coaching than criticising.

• Remember the 15% v 85% rule (15% of what happens in our

lives is within our control – this is all we can be responsible for).

• Use a feelings line or anxiety curve to show that anxiety will go up but will

always come down again.

Visuals from www.autismjourneys.ie

See also

- https://southleeasd.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/anxiety-tipsheet.pdf

- https://southleeasd.wordpress.com/2018/03/01/creating-an-environment-that-

supports-young-children-with-asd/

- https://southleeasd.wordpress.com/2018/11/29/palm/ (from SCERTS® model).

Reassure your child that anxiety is not their fault

People can be ashamed and embarrassed about things they do when they are

anxious. It is important that we reassure children and young people that anxiety is not

their fault. It is the body’s response to not feeling safe. Anxiety may be a sign that

something is not going right for the child in some part of their life. Look at events,

situations and environments in your child’s life to see if something needs to be

changed to support them.

Dr Micaela Connolly, Psychology Dept., BOCSI Autism Services South Lee, April 2020 11

Low Arousal Approach

The Low Arousal Approach refers to supportive behaviour management strategies that

focus on the reduction of stress, fear and frustration (Prof Andrew McDonnell, Studio

3) https://www.lowarousal.com/.

❑ Decrease demands and requests and, if necessary, don’t speak.

❑ Avoid potentially arousing triggers such as direct eye contact and touch.

❑ Ask onlookers to leave.

❑ Avoid non-verbal behaviours such as aggressive postures or stances, move

slowly.

As part of using a low arousal approach we need to think about:

Getting More Help

Some children need professional help with their

anxiety.

They might go to a psychologist or other trained ם

professional to learn strategies to cope.

.They might take medication to help ם

They might go to specialists (Child and ם

Adolescent Mental Health Service) who treat

more serious cases of anxiety.

If you are concerned about your child’s anxiety levels,

it’s a good idea to talk to your GP about the best course of action to take.

Managing our own stress levels as carers so we can be more regulated

Managing the environment so it is as calm and structured as possible

Giving children opportunities to take care of their wellbeing and practise calming techniques