Dill-What's the "business?".;'

: .Lask—Miss Amber as The Geeser Gin

makes love to you first and then to Kolb.Y

You both do jealous stunts. On thattreble. Dill, you run the scale on yourpipe as ifit were a flute. Kolb kicks yotiin the stomach.- O- the finale of chorus,Miss ,Amber slipa away from' "you,.and;you embrace each other. When you' dis- -cover the deception simultaneously, Kolbkicks you again. Then of-;choking— until encore. Now let's hear it.

The pongr was gone over perfunctorilyin a way that would never be recognizedas the same song1 at a regular, perform- ,ance. In fact even the best written bur-lesque '

Is so emasculated, with localpuns and new "business," to fit the iiidl-vidual idiosyncrasies ofithe actors them.'* ,selves, that the original author wouldn'tknow his own work.

',\ jv

"Now oomea the quartet and then you,Blake.- Where's Blake—Oh, Blake, this Is.ycur cue." ¦¦

,¦

Enter Blake with bis stare-sweetheart^

Blake—And now that love la at an end

It was now half past three. The re-hearsal had been on since 10 a. m. Therawas a wild",scramble for dressing rooms,but Lask stopped itat the narrow hatch-,¦way stairs, leading underground bene^pthe stage. ..-.'. '.¦ "There's a call for the full,chorus atthe costumer's after rehearsal to' try oakimonos and things. Don't forget."

And so the process of buildinga Christ*soaa burlesque to make you laugh was©vtr for one day.

you can return my letters and say fax*-.welL .. Stage Sweetheart— What's love?

Blake—Only a .pastime between twofools.

Stage Sweetheart— Then when one mar-ries a title, one need not love.-Lask-Get ready everybody. Allon forBernard's procession and grand finale.Bernard, you come on in a sedan chairlo Chinese costume.

-Bernard— "Now Iam. a kink." Say.

Lask, do- 1 wear a crown with that Una.Lask—No; now where"s that "business

wtthmoney."-

Stage Sweetheart— There's yonr thou-sand dollars in gold. (Hands Bernard amythical sack of gold.) .*:

Bernard (sotto voce)—IfItwas only real.Everybody 'laughed. The line wasn't In

the manuscript, but Lask was quick tosee the point. '•• .. \-.

"That's a good line, Bernard-r-use It,"he cried.: ;"And now the finale song. Cur-tain," he' added briefly, when the en-semble was done.

Lask—Kolb and Dillare up stage, left,as the Mandarin LiHung Chang and theGeisha tea garden proprietor. Your cue.Miss Amber, is "the girlwith the chang-ing eyes." Let*s try that song. There'strood "business" en that chorus. •

"Hold that tableau, girls—still—•very-body. There, that's It—curtain"— shoutedLask, and then, without waiting to 'takebreath, shouted: "Third act— Clear thestage everybody. Principals

—All on."'

Kolb. Dill, Bernard, Blake, Miss Am-ber, etc., all reassembled.

And Professor Bothwell Browne, theballetmaster, tall, slender and as grace-fully lissome as a Parisian ballet queen,comfortable and feminine (contradictorythough that may seem), in close-fittingknickers, long black stockings and whiteballet slippers, coquettishly laceu to hisankles with ribbons like a Tyrolean warb-ler, appeared mysteriously from some-where la the depths of the cavernous au-ditorium and took charge of the chorus.And as for the chorus itself. They arepicturesque in all sorts of combinationsof street dress and ballet hose and skirts.

"First movement, girls; lefthand abovethe head, right holding the skirts; pointthe right foot, well arched, sway farback— waist movement, girls—waist move-ment. You're not pointing your toes. Net-tle; bend your body there, Clarlsse. Alleyes forward. Here, those girls at theright of the line, dress the stage oblique-ly. Up stage, girls; up stage. Now. alleyes front. Everybody fixupon that light(indicating a solitary incandescent, gleam-Ing hazily from the side wall about halfway to the front door). Heady, Miss Am-ber—all together. Turn, turn, turn. Turn,turn, turn. Raise your head, Pauline;dress the stage down stage left, MissMorgan— and you Clara. Turn, turn, turn."

And so on until the tln-panny strainsof the piano, at which the musical di-rector made up the whole orchestra, roseto a last grand chord

Miss Amber—You'r« going to Petaluxna.Lask—No, no, no! Oakland, Miss Am-

ber. Oakland. Don't forget that Oak-land's always San Francisco's stock joke.

"You're going to Oakland," Miss Am-ber corrected.

There is more unconscious wit in therehearsal of a burlesque than the authorever writes into It,but nobody in thatbustling crowd in the eerie light ofthe empty theater laughed at this sally.No matter how funny these Fischer playsn.ay be to the audience, cne quickly dis-covers at a rehearsal that nothing couldbe more serious to the actors themselves.

Stage Manager Lask clapped his handsto make himself beard above the noise.

"This- Is your Oriental song. Miss Am-ber. All on for the chorus. Come, girls;where are your punks? You all carrylighted punks in this scene." >:

"A punk scene, eh?** asked Dill withunctuous quietude from his seat in abicken chair, where the wings ought tobe, but where a trio of stage carpentersand scene painters were -^ now convert

-Ing a painted mountain into an awe-in-spiring volcano, totally oblivious to tEeexcitement going on all about them.

"And that's a punk jok«," answeredLask without pausing In bis work of ar-ranging the chorus in serried ranks. "It'snot in the manuscript, so please cut Itout. Now, Where's Both well Browne? Ah,professor, the girls are ready for thatsecond act dance now."

>**T y* ERE, here: that won't do.I \ This scene is all "mixed up.

| 1 That's Miss Amber's cue forthe finale song. Where's thechorus? Here, wake up there.

All on for the finale! Where's Miss Am-ber? Oh, Mies Amber!. Miss Amber!Gone to her dressing-room? Why, thatwas Kolb's exit, not hers. HI, there, callher back, somebody. Hold on a minute,Kolb. As LiHung Chang you're squattedon a pileof pillows down stage, right, allthrough this scene, until—Ah,-Miss Am-ber, this is still your scene. You werereading Kolb's palm. What's your cueline?"

Stage Manager George Lask, hot andperspiring, in his shirt sleeves, was re-hearsing' the second act of "The Geezer,"the Christmas burlesque at Fischer's, andIt didn't need much extended inquiry todiscover that even the stars themselveswere£havlng troubles. • • I

Miss Amber (in smart tailor-made andJaunty walking bat)—Oh, am Istill on?

Lask—Yes, what's your last cue line be-fore the finale, please?

Miss"Amber (tripping over to Kolb withmincing steps in imitation of a Geishagirl, which looked nothing short of in-congruous In a tailor-made)—Isee a longJourney. In your band. You're going tocross a big body of water.

Kolb (also Inhis shirt sleeves, squattingludicrously on the dusty, barren stage)—Where?

H

TpE gUKPAY CALIj;

HOW A CHRISTMAS BURLESQUE IS BUILTTO MAKE YOU LAUGH

26