Honoring Parents by Offering Healthy Relationship Education

Presenters: Kim Allen, Ph.D.

Director of the Center on Adolescent Sexuality, Pregnancy and Parenting (CASPP) Human Development/Family Studies State Specialist

North American Society of Adlerian Psychology ConferenceJune, 2009

Understanding Poverty

“No significant learning occurs without a significant relationship.”

-- Dr. James Comer

Situational Versus Generational

Situational poverty Results from a change in circumstances – job loss, divorce, death of a spouse. Values and behaviors of the socioeconomic class from which people come

remain with them. Tend to have more resources. May be more employable because they often have a higher level of education.

Generational poverty Two or more generations of the same family have lived in poverty. May be better able to cope with living in poverty. Tend to have predictable patterns of behavior.

Sources:Payne, R. K. (1998). A Framework for understanding poverty. Highlands, TX: RFT Publishing.Payne, R. K., DeVol, P. E., & Smith, T. D. (1999). Bridges out of poverty: Strategies for professionals and

communities. Highlands, TX: RFT Publishing.

Hidden RulesAmong Socioeconomic Classes

Poverty Middle Class WealthPOSSESSIONS People Things One-of-a-kind items

MONEY To be used, spent To be managed To be conserved, invested

FOOD Quantity is key Quality is key Presentation is key

TIME Present is most important

Future is most important

Traditions and history are most important

PERSONALITY Value humor Value achievement

Value financial, political, and social connections

DRIVING FORCES Survival, relationships, entertainment

Work, achievement

Financial, political, social connections

Source:Payne, R. K. (1998). A Framework for understanding poverty. Highlands, TX: RFT Publishing.

Tyranny of the Moment

Life is unpredictable – every day there is a new crisis that must be dealt with. Lack of affordable and dependable child care Unreliable transportation Job stability

Because there are few certainties, it is difficult to plan ahead.

Language Differences When attention is focused on survival, other areas tend to suffer.

Sources:Paris, S. G., & Stahl, S. J. (Eds.). (2005). Children’s reading comprehension and assessment. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.Payne, R. K., DeVol, P. E., & Smith, T. D. (1999). Bridges out of poverty: Strategies for professionals and communities. Highlands, TX: RFT Publishing.

By age 4, children are exposed to the following number of words:

Professional parents 45 million

Working class 22 million

Poverty 13 million

Between the ages of 1 and 3, children receive the following ratio of positive to negative comments:

Professional parents 5 positive for every 2 negative

Working class 2 positive for every 1 negative

Poverty 1 positive for every 2 negative

Fragile Family Research

• Young• Unmarried• African-American, Latino, and Caucasian• Parents• Often with Educational Issues• Sometimes with Counseling Aversions• Often from Families without Positive Marriage Traditions• On the Cusp of Generational Poverty• With More Dreams than Skills

What Is Connecting for Children?

Partnership between University of Missouri Extension and Central Missouri Community Action Head Start

Funded by the Office of Head Start Healthy Marriage Initiative

Features Weekend Retreats and Relationship Workshops

What Is Connecting for Children?

Eligibility guidelines: Pregnant or have a child age 5 or younger Single or in a non-violent relationship Live in one of the following counties: Audrain, Boone, Callaway,

Cole, Cooper, Howard, Moniteau, or Osage Income-eligible for Head Start (130% of poverty level) Participation is voluntary

Weekend Retreats All-expense paid Retreats – English or Spanish

Couples or co-parents Couples Part 2 Singles or people in relationships who are coming alone

Program pays for extra hotel room for caregiver and children when needed, as well as meals for all

Facilitated by Community Trainers Seven couples and three individuals trained

Ten Couples’ and three Singles’ Retreats held to date

Couples’ RetreatsLove’s Cradle curriculum, by Mary Ortwein & Bernard Guerney

Focuses on the following skills provided in the curriculum: Showing Understanding Expression Skill Discussion Skill Problem Solving Managing Conflict

Couples’ Retreats - Part 2

Love’s Cradle curriculum, by Mary Ortwein & Bernard Guerney

Focuses on the following skills provided in the curriculum: Coaching Skill Maintaining Changes Using Skills Any Time, Any Place Following Through on Change Helping Others Change

Option being offered beginning in Year 2 of our grant; 16 couples have already expressed an interest

Singles’ Retreats How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk(ette) curriculum, by John Van Epp

Helps participants learn how to build healthy relationships using both

head and heart – emphasizes pacing a relationship.

Love’s Cradle curriculum, by Mary Ortwein & Bernard Guerney

Addresses the skills that can help regardless of whether or not

participants are in a relationship – Showing Understanding, Expression

Skill, and Discussion Skill.

Educational Workshops

Saturday or Weekly Sessions – English or Spanish Weeknights – Cover 1-2 topics over several months Saturdays – Cover 4 topics over three Saturdays

Workshop Topics Getting to Know You Lighten Up—Love and Laughter Couple Communication Fire Prevention: Managing Conflict in Relationships Family Ties – Complex Family Relationships Money, Money, Money To Work Healthy Minds Healthy Relationships Parenting with Love Just Cool It! Managing Anger in Couple Relationships Safety

In working with a low income audience, what are some things we need to do

to be successful?

Building an Inclusive Program

What Experts Say What We Do With CFC

Be attentive to DV concerns DV screening at intakeConsult with a DV specialist

Build partnerships with community agencies

Work with community agencies to help us recruit

Invite members of the target audience to a focus group

Invited a Head Start family to participate on the CFC Advisory BoardGather feedback from participants after each session

Have plenty of food available Have extra food and snacks at each session

Use the media Show a video clip to start off each session

Building an Inclusive Program

What Experts Say What We Do With CFC

Use humor Encourage facilitators to use humor

Use simple, informal language; Casual Register

Materials are written at a 5th grade reading levelFacilitators are taught to use casual register with participants—they attend a poverty training prior to facilitating

Use incentives as a reduction to barriers Give participants gift cards and gas cards

Be sensitive to the ‘tyranny of the moment’

Participants who do not show up are given an opportunity to attend future events

Less lecture, more activity Lessons are activity-based

Resources Marketing materials Curricula

Questions?

Thank You!