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Author: Barry Lee Community Motivators Acknowledgements: Community Organisers

Help! I can’t do this anymore

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Page 1: Help! I can’t do this anymore

Author: Barry LeeCommunity Motivators

Acknowledgements: Community Organisers

Page 2: Help! I can’t do this anymore

Definitions Goals - things that we focus on and want to fulfil or achieve – like

a project. Motivation - That something which propels us to take continued action towards a specific goal’.

Needs - The condition of lacking something – like being thirsty.

Feelings - An emotional reaction

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GoalsGoals are personal!

When you make a New Year’s resolution, it is a personal goal that you wish to achieve. No one can do this simple thing for you. Only through action can it be achieved!

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BeliefsBeliefs are:Reality, truths – who you are.Convictions, opinions, ways of thinkingPerceptions and filtersFeelings, impressionsJudgementsExperiences

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Types of BeliefsAn empowering belief - is something that helps you to

take action.It gives you a positive feeling about yourself and can be

expressed as: ‘I can do this’, or ‘I will succeed’. It will, also, lead to feelings of achievement, of meeting all your needs and help you to develop positive self-esteem.

A limiting belief - is something that stops you from taking action, it is more than a doubt.

Examples include: ‘I can’t do this’, or “I won’t amount to much”.

Limiting beliefs are written or said in the negative and lead to feelings of low self-esteem.

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Exercise 1 - Beliefs1. Move to the ‘windows’. This area represents the fact

that you are able to talk on a 1-2-1 basis.[When people are ready, then explain elements 2/3.]2. If you believe that you can talk to a group of 10

people, please move to the middle of the room.3. If you believe that you can talk to a group of 100

people then move completely to the opposite side of the room.

[You may not need to give talks, but this does show an area where your beliefs could be hindering you.]

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NeedsEveryone has needs. A Need is a condition of lacking something – you

lack a qualification and need to gain one; you are thirsty and need to satisfy the thirst.

All goals/projects require achievement.

Imagine that you are conducting a seminar on Healthy Food. You may discover that you NEED a Food Safety Certificate. As this new need is different from your main goal you will change your motivation to achieve this need and then return to achieving the seminar afterwards.

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Feelings / Emotions Everyone has feelings. They can be positive or negative, good or bad. Positive feelings include “I

feel happy” and “I feel excited”. Negative feelings include “I feel sad or depressed” and “I feel angry”. Apathy comes from saying “I feel fine.”

There is, also, a greater feeling – fear. I relate fear to the acronym Future Events Appearing Real. In other words, you have an event that will happen in the future and you start to imagine all the things that could go wrong. It’s a case of ‘What happens if….?’ What happens if the girl doesn’t show up? What happens if I do badly at the interview?

You are more likely to achieve something if you feel positive – or, quit if you have negative feelings. It could be argued that positive feelings and internal motivation go together; and external motivation goes with negative feelings. I believe that the type and level of Motivation is directly affected by how people feel. Or, to achieve a goal, it is better to have internal motivation helped with positive feelings.

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Exercise 2- Feelings / NeedsI want you to stand up and introduce yourself to

another person. However, when you do I want you to say either one of these 3 sayings:

I don’t feel well – I need to say a doctor.I feel fine. I just need a new job.I feel great. I know I will pass the driving test.

I want you to note how you sound. Which one makes you sound more positive?

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MotivationI compare motivation to a fire that burns within. It

may be a small fire or a blazing inferno. I wanted to learn how to fuel my own fire and fuel it continually.

You don’t lose motivation – you switch motivation.

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Types of MotivationMotivation is always POSITIVE.Motivation can be:1. Internal – self motivation, attitude or towards2. External – avoidance, away fromFear/Negativity – avoid losing a jobReward motivation – Gain commission.

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Representing MotivationStraight line graph – never deviating.

You stay at the same level of motivation over a long period of time. Your motivation may be either high or low.

Bell Curve.Your motivation can start low and then build quickly over a period of time. You may have chosen to do something. The low motivation levels could be because of external motivation – someone has told you to do something – and the highs could be because of internal motivation – you have made the choice to do it.

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Conclusions so far:Positive feeling High Motivation Fulfil a Need. Empowering beliefs Positive = achieve a goal

Negative feeling Low Motivation Unmet Need Limiting beliefsNegative = do not complete the goal.

Poor belief = Low VALUE = Low self-esteem and possibly no motivation.

Increase belief = increase VALUE = Increase in self-esteem & motivation.

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Solution – Coach / Business Mentor or Trainer.Coach A coach is someone who listens to what you want, asks

questions such that you are guided into making appropriate decisions. S/he supports every decision that you make. Any areas that YOU feel that you lack knowledge and/or skills in, you will be encouraged to research or attend training courses. A coach is only there to facilitate your success by keeping you focussed on the goal.

Business Mentor A mentor is someone who is in either the same career field or financial area that you are in, so that you feel comfortable in discussing/sharing your problems. S/he will share a solution based on his/her experiences, knowledge and skills. You are free to use their methods or adapt them in any way to suit your situation.

Trainer This is someone who will take the time to TEACH you the skills and knowledge that you need. You will only succeed if you learn the skill and/or change your viewpoint.

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SolutionYou have seen that you need someone to help keep

you focussed on your project; this can be either a coach or a business mentor.

Both Coaching and Mentoring are on-going and ended when you feel comfortable with the results achieved.

Training is for a set time – with no follow-up.

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FinallyIf you leave and remember nothing about needs &

feelings or Beliefs & Values affecting motivation, do remember this:

You NEVER fail when pursuing a goal, you just LEARN more about yourself!