HEATHER DUKE CALLBACK SIDES

SCENE ONE

(THE THREE HEATHERS are gathered around a bathroom stall. HEATHER DUKE vomits into a toilet)

HEATHER CHANDLERGrow up, Heather. Bulimia's so '87.

HEATHER DUKEYeah, it really is.

HEATHER CHANDLER Don't just agree with me.

HEATHER DUKESorry, Heather.

(She vomits again. HEATHER MCNAMARA holds DUKE's hair as DUKE vomits again)

HEATHER MCNAMARAMaybe you should see a doctor, Heather.

HEATHER DUKEAnd end up with a needle in my arm getting force fed through a tube? Never again.

(MARTHA DUNNSTOCK, fat and awkward, enters. She sees the three popular girls and barricades herself in a stall)

HEATHER DUKEWho told Martha Dumptruck she could use our bathroom? Such a pillowcase. She makes me want to vomit.

HEATHER CHANDLERWhat doesn't?

(HEATHER DUKE laughs good-naturedly, even though the joke is at her expense)

HEATHER CHANDLERShut up, Heather.

HEATHER DUKESorry, Heather.

SCENE TWO

(The high school. Late afternoon light casts creepy shadows. Everyone's gone home for the day.

J.D. walks up to HEATHER DUKE and hands her some photos)

J.D.I now know thee, thou clear spirit. And I now know that thy right worship is defiance.

HEATHER DUKEWhere did you get these pictures? Did Veronica give them to you? What is this supposed to be, blackmail?

J.D.Thou cans't but kill, and all are killed.

HEATHER DUKEStop talking gibberish!

J.D.Gibberish? No. It's "Moby Dick."

(J.D. takes the photos back)

J.D.And these photos are simply a tangible reminder that at one time, around age six I'm guessing, you and Martha Dunnstock were friends.

HEATHER DUKEAncient history. Nobody cares.

J.D.Westerberg High School doesn't need mushy togetherness -- it needs a strong leader. Heather Chandler was that leader, but...

HEATHER DUKEBut she couldn't handle it.

J.D.Moby Dick is dunked. The white whale drank some bad plankton. You are poised to replace her. But it still could go either way. You could stumble.

(admiring photo)I like this one of you and Martha in the bathtub together.

"Heathers" NWS WIP - 01/08/14 2.

HEATHER DUKEWhat do you want, money?

J.D.I don't want your money. I want your strength.

(LIGHTS UP on MARTHA. She's in another location, we can't tell where. She applies lipstick)

J.D.I want you to use your newfound clout to make a statement. Distance yourself from these ridiculous photos. Make it clear to the entire school that there's only one place Heathers and Marthas will ever be friends.

(J.D. extends his hand. HEATHER DUKE is intrigued)

HEATHER DUKEAnd where is that?

J.D.Heaven.

(HEATHER DUKE laughs and shakes J.D.'s hand. LIGHTS go dark on HEATHER DUKE and J.D. and brighten on MARTHA who now removes her glasses)

SCENE THREE

(VERONICA'S YARD. HEATHER MCNAMARA and VERONICA playing croquet.

HEATHER DUKE enters with a clipboard)

HEATHER DUKEHey guys! Missed you after eighth period.

VERONICAWe were avoiding you.

HEATHER DUKEOh very, very. Here. I need you both to sign this.

(She offers the clipboard to HEATHER MCNAMARA who hesitates. HEATHER DUKE is insistent. HEATHER MCNAMARA sighs, takes the clipboard and signs)

VERONICAWhat is this?

"Heathers" NWS WIP - 01/08/14 3.

HEATHER DUKEIt's a petition to have the mayor declare a day of remembrance to honor the victims of suicide. I've gotten everybody to sign it, even the dweebs and losers. People love me.

VERONICAHeather, why can't you just be a friend? Why are you such a mega-bitch?

HEATHER DUKEBecause I can be. Veronica, why are you pulling my dick? It was your boyfriend's idea. He made up the signature sheet and everything. Who knew he could think?

(HEATHER DUKE offers the clipboard to VERONICA)

VERONICAForget it. I don't know what J.D.'s up to but... if you know what's good for you, you'll throw that clipboard away.

HEATHER DUKEAll I'm missing is you and Martha Dumptruck. And she's not going to be signing anytime soon.

VERONICAWhy not?

HEATHER DUKEIt was on the radio. She took a belly-flop off the Old Mill Bridge last night, holding a suicide note.

VERONICAOh my God. She's not -- ?

HEATHER DUKEJust some broken bones. Another case of a geek trying to imitate the popular people and failing miserably. *

"Heathers" NWS WIP - 01/08/14 4.