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Hi I am Hannah Beko I am a lawyer, trainer, coach, speaker, writer, business owner, wife and mummy to two amazing boys. I know what it’s like to wonder what’s missing when on paper life looks pretty perfect. On the one hand I had the new house, supportive husband, beautiful boys, successful legal business, but on the other hand, I felt like I was letting people down on a daily basis. I was living my dream, but I certainly didn’t feel happy. So my search for that elusive work / life balance began. I’m happy to report that it is possible to wake up happy and excited to start the day, confident that you’ll cope with the daily stresses and still have energy left over for you, your family and your work. Better yet – the answer didn’t lie in running off to an ashram or giving up on my career or business. By weaving some basic and manageable steps into my already busy life I was able to start showing up as a happier, healthier Hannah. The result – a business, career and family life that doesn’t just tick the boxes, but is fulfilling, fun and rewarding. It’s my mission to help fabulous women find their “authentic self” and how they can be really happy. That’s what Authentically Speaking is all about!
Hannah Beko
Stress to Happy Series www.authenticallyspeaking.co.uk
Happiness Workshop with gunnercooke llp
Why are we here ? ! 95% of lawyers suffer
moderate to severe stress (Law society)
What to remember ! To know and not to do.. ! ..is not really to know.. ! Stephen Covey author of “The 7 habits
of highly effective people”
Today’s workshop
! Please have an open mind and an open heart
! Join in as much as you can ! Take away as much as you
need ! It’s all confidential !
Facts and figures
! In 2014 18-20% of lawyers were using drugs compared to 8-10% of general population (US)
! Average lawyer works 60-80 hours per week, those working over 50 hours a week are 3x more likely to abuse alcohol (US)
Stress is a huge problem
! Stress is the cause of over 45% of work absence a year
! In 2015 17 million working days were lost at a cost of over £2billion.
! 668 new cases of work related stress, depression or anxiety were diagnosed in the UK in 2015 per day -one every 2 minutes
What does stress cause for us? ! Pain of any kind ! Sleep problems ! Autoimmune diseases ! Digestive problems ! Skin conditions, such as eczema ! Heart disease ! Weight problems ! Reproductive issues ! Thinking and memory problems
Ultimately stress will kill us
! Stress is a major contributing factor ! to the 6 leading causes of death ! Heart disease, cancer, lung illness,
accidents, liver disease and suicide
What fuels this need for stress?
! It’s part and parcel of the job ! You need stress to be
successful
Success Myths
! You should never stop striving / accomplishing
! You can’t be successful without stress
! You should persevere at all costs
What is success?
! Success is liking yourself; ! Liking what you do; and ! Liking how you do it. ! - Maya Angelou
Swap stress for happiness?
! Build higher quality relationships with those at work
! Boost happiness and productivity of those around you
! Increased engagement with work ! Provide superior customer service
Increase your productivity
! Being happy increases productivity by 12 %
! Journal of Organisational Behaviour 2009 Warwick University
Improve your career
! Happy people - people who frequently experience positive emotions like joy, satisfaction, contentment and enthusiasm - are more likely to succeed in their career.
! People who are “happier” have higher incomes several years later in life.
Sneak peak at what’s ahead
©authenticallyspeaking 2017
Housekeeping
! Fire alarms and exits ! Lunch ! Introduction
Who am I?
Inspirer of lawyers to be happy, to find who they authentically are, take back control of their lives and to discover what is happiness?
Meeting Superwoman
Content for this workshop ! What are you filling your time
with? ! Your vision or dream for the
future ! What do you value in life? ! How happy are you? ! How can you be happier?
Your HATS : Exercise ! Are you all things to all people? ! How many hats do you wear? ! What might be holding you
back from living the way you want to live?
! Or pursuing your dreams/ideal life?
Life satisfaction wheel : Exercise
Having a vision or hopes and dreams
! Why have a vision (hopes / dreams)?
! What if you don’t have one (yet)?
! What’s your personal version of success?
The Hunger Project – Laiju’s story
Takeaways from Laiju ! A dream may seem impossible or
unlikely ! It’s not about the “how” ! Holding a vision or dream, then
choosing the path that leads towards that vision
Vision/Dreams: Exercise
Your Values : Exercise
Your values ! Make a list of all of your current
values, what is important to you in the way you live life?
! Narrow the list to five key values ! Rank these in order of
importance in your life now, which are most evident?
! Do they reflect the way you want to live your life?
Changing our language
! Positive vs negative ! “Busy & stressed” creates more
busy & stressed..
Can you make yourself happy? ! The research says yes! ! The How of Happiness by Sonja
Lyubomirsky ! You need two things for happiness: ! Positive feelings and a sense that life is
good. ! We are born with a genetically
predisposed “set point” a baseline – 50%
10% of happiness ! If our pre determined “set
point” accounts for 50% of our happiness
! 10% is “circumstances” ! Whether we are rich/poor ! Health/unhealthy ! Married/divorced
50%
40%
10%
Our happiness
This workshop is about the 40% ! 40% of happiness ! Intentional activity ! It is within our ability to control ! We have the opportunity to
increase our happiness levels by what we do in our daily lives and by how we think
! What can we do to optimise this 40%?
The Habits ! Simple daily practices ! Take up less than 15 minutes ! You will see a noticeable difference
within days ! The results in 4 weeks might amaze you ! The average number of days to create
a new habit is 21 days, remember your vision and your values to keep you going!
Habit 1: Morning Pages ! “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron ! 3 pages (of A4) continuous stream of
consciousness , no stopping, no overthinking or analysing, just write.
! Don’t re-read it. ! Don’t sense check it.
Comments: ! I find the lightbulb moments
suddenly fall out onto the page, often the very last sentence I write.
! It laser focuses on what needs to be dealt with rather than what I think I need to do.
Comments: ! I was resistant but about 14
months ago I committed to doing it for a month.
! It made decisions easier, I was calmer, everything felt a little bit easier.
Habit 2: Gratitude ! Being thankful for 3 things each
day ! Write them down, speak them
out loud or just think them to yourself
! Why practice gratitude? ! It can lower blood pressure and
improve your immune system
The health benefits are huge ! Reducing stress levels - cortisol levels
believed to be reduced by up to 23% in one study
! Your heart – documented positive effect on patients in asymptomatic Stage B heart failure – people who have developed structural heart disease are less likely to develop Stage C heart failure
Habit 3: Meditation ! Un-useful definition: ! “contemplation, thought, thinking,
musing, pondering, consideration, reflection, prayer, deliberation, study, rumination, brooding, mulling over, concentration, speculation”
Mindfulness ! Un-useful definition: ! Mindfulness… meaning that we pay
attention to our thoughts and feelings without judging them—without believing, for instance, that there’s a “right” or “wrong” way to think or feel in a given moment.
Calm focus and breathing ! Why do it? ! Busy mind – Racing thoughts ! Inability to concentrate / disorganised ! Negative thinking ! Preoccupation with what might go
wrong (at 2am) ! Irritability and intolerance ! Insomnia or waking in the night
What does it do? ! Gives your mind a rest ! We have around 60,000 thoughts a
day ! You become clearer, decision
making is easier ! Has a calming effect, reduces stress ! Fight or flight response – releases
cortisol
Focus on one thought ! Choose one “thought” “affirmation” or
“mantra” you would like to use ! For example: ! “I trust, I am enough” ! “I am calm” ! “I am happy” ! Or anything you like to use
Mantras & Affirmations ! Mantra or Affirmation ! It's the repetition of
affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.
Muhammad Ali
©authenticallyspeaking 2017
Trying out meditation !
Summing up .. ! How was the meditation? ! Looking at key learnings or “a-ha”
moments from the workshop ! What do you want to change? ! In the next week? ! In the next 3 months?
Back to Bangladesh and one woman’s vision..
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Happiness Workshop
The journey to reducing stress and increasing happiness
Happiness makes people 12% more productive
(Journal of Organisational Behaviour 2009, Warwick University)
Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be
(Abraham Lincoln)
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Exercise: Your Vision
What do YOU want from life, what’s important to you?
What would “success” look like to you?
Success is liking yourself, liking what you do and liking how you do it - Maya Angelou.
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Exercise: Your Values
What do YOU care about?
Your Values are what is important to you in life. Knowing your Values helps you understand what drives you, what inspires you.
By building a life and lifestyle around our values we create a life that is more satisfying and meaningful to us, we are happier!
Values change over time; you might want to review again in a few months’ time.
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Sample Values List
The Values '"List" below is ONLY to give you some ideas of example or sample values. We are all unique, so there will undoubtedly be words that are missing from this list, and different words that sum up your Value better. If you can put it in a wheelbarrow (eg books) it’s not a value.
1. Accomplishment 2. Accuracy 3. Acknowledgement 4. Adventure 5. Authenticity 6. Balance 7. Beauty 8. Boldness 9. Calm 10. Challenge 11. Collaboration 12. Community 13. Compassion 14. Comradeship 15. Confidence 16. Connectedness 17. Contentment 18. Contribution 19. Cooperation 20. Courage 21. Creativity 22. Curiosity 23. Determination 24. Directness 25. Discovery 26. Ease 27. Effortlessness 28. Empowerment 29. Enthusiasm 30. Environment 31. Excellence 32. Fairness 33. Flexibility
34. Focus 35. Forgiveness 36. Freedom 37. Friendship 38. Fun 39. Generosity 40. Gentleness 41. Groundedness 42. Growth 43. Happiness 44. Harmony 45. Health 46. Helpfulness 47. Honesty 48. Honour 49. Humour 50. Idealism 51. Independence 52. Innovation 53. Integrity 54. Intuition 55. Joy 56. Kindness 57. Learning 58. Listening 59. Love 60. Loyalty 61. Optimism 62. Orderliness 63. Participation 64. Partnership 65. Passion 66. Patience
67. Peace 68. Presence 69. Productivity 70. Recognition 71. Respect 72. Resourcefulness 73. Romance 74. Safety 75. Self-Esteem 76. Service 77. Simplicity 78. Spirituality 79. Spontaneity 80. Strength 81. Tact 82. Thankfulness 83. Tolerance 84. Tradition 85. Trust 86. Understanding 87. Unity 88. Vitality 89. Wisdom 90. _________________ 91. _________________ 92. _________________ 93. _________________ 94. _________________ 95. _________________ 96. _________________ 97. _________________ 98. _________________ 99. _________________ 100. _________________
Remember: When it comes to Values, there is no right or wrong – only who WE are and what WE care about.
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Exercise: HATS
You wear many hats in life. How many do you are wearing right now?
What are they?
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SATISFACTION WHEEL: Record the date here: …………………………….. Draw a line across each segment that represents your satisfaction score for each area. x Imagine the centre of the wheel is 0 and the outer edge is 10 x Choose a value between 1 -very dissatisfied and 10 - fully satisfied x Now draw a line in that segment at that value. IMPORTANT: Use the FIRST number (score) that pops into your head, not the number you think it should be!
Repeat this exercise in 3 months and see what’s changed for you!
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THE HABITS
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#1 : Morning Pages
A continuous stream of thought, no stopping, no overthinking, no correcting or evaluating.
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#2 : Gratitude
Record three things each evening. This can be thought about, spoken out loud on written down.
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#3 : Meditation
You could call this calm thought, mediation, mindfulness. The aim is to give your brain a rest!
Possible affirmations you could use: (note these down today as you think of affirmations you might like to use):
Examples:
I trust, I am enough
I am calm
I am peaceful
I am happy
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Exercise: Looking after yourself
What do you do in your life now that is just for YOU?
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What would you like to do in your life that is just for YOU?
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What could you start doing in the next 3 months, just for YOU?
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What could you start doing in the next week, just for YOU?
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Remember : This sounds like common sense but..
To know and not to do, is not to know..
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Round up and actions
Key learnings from today:
One:
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Three:
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What do you want to change today and change in the next 3 months?
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Notes
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