Ground RulesGround RulesEveryone has the right to participate.Everyone has the right to participate.Respect all opinions.Respect all opinions.All questions are welcome. All questions are welcome. Do not interrupt each other, only one person Do not interrupt each other, only one person should talk at a time. should talk at a time.

Listen to each other.Listen to each other.Talk about your own stories and not about Talk about your own stories and not about others in the group. others in the group.

Personal stories stay in the room.Personal stories stay in the room.Respect each other’s feelings.Respect each other’s feelings.No put downs or insults like making fun orNo put downs or insults like making fun or laughinglaughing..

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Why Youth Ages 11 Why Youth Ages 11 to 14?to 14?

Many youth look forward to Many youth look forward to dating at this agedating at this age

Youth have important Youth have important relationships with their friends relationships with their friends

Relationships with their friends Relationships with their friends determine how they act with determine how they act with dates and friends as adultsdates and friends as adults

Choose Respect lessons learned Choose Respect lessons learned will carry into future relationshipswill carry into future relationships

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Choosing Respect in Choosing Respect in RelationshipsRelationships

What does respect mean to you?What does respect mean to you?

How does someone give and get respect?How does someone give and get respect?

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People Who Respect Each Other:People Who Respect Each Other:5

Are open and honest about feelings and Are open and honest about feelings and expectationsexpectations

Try to put themselves in others’ situationsTry to put themselves in others’ situationsGive each other the benefit of the doubtGive each other the benefit of the doubtTake time to cool off, listen, and talk things Take time to cool off, listen, and talk things outout

Break down a problem and look for win-win Break down a problem and look for win-win

solutionssolutionsThink before speaking or acting out in Think before speaking or acting out in angeranger

Give and get respectGive and get respect

Healthy vs. Unhealthy RelationshipsHealthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships What is a healthy relationship?What is a healthy relationship?

Traits of a healthy relationship:Traits of a healthy relationship:– Assertiveness Assertiveness – Understanding Understanding – Trust Trust – Fighting fair Fighting fair – Problem solving Problem solving – Negotiation and compromise Negotiation and compromise – Anger control Anger control – Being a role modelBeing a role model

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Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships (cont’d)(cont’d)What is an What is an unhealthyunhealthy relationship? relationship?

Traits of an Traits of an unhealthyunhealthy relationship: relationship:– Yelling, name calling, put downsYelling, name calling, put downs– Gossiping about a dating partnerGossiping about a dating partner– Controlling how a dating partner dresses and/or Controlling how a dating partner dresses and/or

actsacts– Ignoring or giving someone the silent treatmentIgnoring or giving someone the silent treatment– Slapping, hitting, shovingSlapping, hitting, shoving– Unwanted touching or sexual activity Unwanted touching or sexual activity

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Youth in Abusive Relationships Youth in Abusive Relationships

Are More Likely to:Are More Likely to:Have low self-esteemHave low self-esteemBe depressed Be depressed Binge drink Binge drink Use drugsUse drugsHave eating disordersHave eating disordersGet seriously injuredGet seriously injuredPractice unsafe sex with multiple Practice unsafe sex with multiple

partnerspartners

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Dating AbuseDating Abuse

When someone in a relationship insults, hits, or When someone in a relationship insults, hits, or tries to control what the dating partner does, tries to control what the dating partner does, including whom he or she talks to, and uses threats including whom he or she talks to, and uses threats of abuse. of abuse. Can include:Can include:

– Verbal abuse Verbal abuse – Emotional abuse Emotional abuse – Physical abuse Physical abuse – Sexual abuse Sexual abuse

A pattern of behavior - something that happens A pattern of behavior - something that happens over and over.over and over.

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Group 1Group 1

1.1. Give some examples of each of these Give some examples of each of these categories of dating abuse?categories of dating abuse?

EMOTIONALEMOTIONAL VERBALVERBAL

PHYSICALPHYSICAL SEXUALSEXUAL

2. 2. Is dating abuse a big deal?Is dating abuse a big deal?

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The Reality of Dating AbuseThe Reality of Dating AbuseOne out of every One out of every eleveneleven high high school students has experienced school students has experienced physical abuse. physical abuse.

One in One in fivefive youth has experienced youth has experienced some sort of emotional abuse. some sort of emotional abuse.

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One in ElevenOne in Eleven

If you have 33 students in your If you have 33 students in your class, that means 3 of these students class, that means 3 of these students may have been hit, punched, or may have been hit, punched, or physically harmed in some other way physically harmed in some other way by a boyfriend or girlfriend. by a boyfriend or girlfriend.

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3. 3. How does dating abuse start?How does dating abuse start?

Group 1 Group 1 (cont’d)(cont’d)

Group 2Group 2 1. What unhealthy relationship 1. What unhealthy relationship

behaviors that led to dating abuse behaviors that led to dating abuse were seen in the video?were seen in the video?

2. Are these behaviors acceptable or 2. Are these behaviors acceptable or unacceptable? Why or why not?unacceptable? Why or why not?

3. How do you think victims of abuse 3. How do you think victims of abuse feel?feel?

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Group 3Group 3 1. How can we recognize abuse in the 1. How can we recognize abuse in the

video? video?

2. What are other warning signs that 2. What are other warning signs that someone is in an unhealthy relationship?someone is in an unhealthy relationship?

3. What are warning signs that someone 3. What are warning signs that someone is the abuser? is the abuser?

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Group 4Group 4 1. 1. Why does abuse happen?Why does abuse happen?

2. If someone you know is being 2. If someone you know is being abusedabused, what would you do or , what would you do or say to help? say to help?

3. When your friend or someone 3. When your friend or someone you know is being you know is being abusiveabusive,what ,what can you do to help?can you do to help?

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What is a healthy relationship?What is a healthy relationship?

Advice to FriendsAdvice to Friends21

Questions?Questions?

Comments?Comments?

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