Among Friends

Friends Academy Monthly E-LetterNovember/December 2012 >> www.fa.org

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DirectoryChanges

If you have a change to your Directory listing, it is important that you notify the appropriate divisional administrative assistant. Find all complete changes on the Directory Changes page in the Parent Portal. Some abbreviated below. For full listings, please check the Parent Portal.

CHANGES

n COOPER, Ruth Fortunoff. New e-mail: ruth.cooper@me.com. Benjamin and Alan, Grade 6.

n ENCALADA, Tabatha. Use cell number (516-637-7216) in lieu of work number. Jocelyn CEDENO, Grade 6.

n FIELDING, Donna. New home phone: 516-801-4879. Elissa, Grade 7.

n LEE, John. New e-mail: johnleecpany@gmail.com. Denise, Grade 5.

n SANDS, Ilene.New e-mail: ibeth103@aol.com. William, Grade 11; Grace, Grade 7. From the Head – How can you support your family, friends and local community in time of need?

page 2 (By Bill Morris)

Parent Council – Warm your heart with winter community service events. page 3

Diversity & Multicultural Affairs – Recognizing Bullying Prevention Month: A needed kind of heroism. page 4 (By Shanelle Robinson)

Lower School – Having an attitude of gratitude. page 6 (By Deborah McCrimmon)

Middle School – Helping those who have been impacted by hunger. page 8 (By Stephen Rubenacker)

Upper School – Searching for guidance, strength to move forward. page 10 (By Deborah Schoman)

2012 Holiday Book List – See what our librarians are suggesting this season. page 12

Think.Laugh.Learn. – Walking cheerfully over the earth. page 13 (By John Scardina)

The Arts – Head to the theater to catch "The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee!" page 14

>>Visit each Divisonal section to preview “Don’t Miss” November and December calendar highlights

ON THE WEB

Please check the Website calendar for updates and to

subscribe to alerts.

2012-13 Added School Days

Monday, November 26th

Thursday, December 20th

Friday, December 21st

Monday, April 1st

Tuesday, April 2nd

AMONG FRIENDS ~ November/December 2012 [ 2 ] back to cover

A m o n g F r i e n d sAn informational e-newsletter published monthly for Friends Academy parents, faculty/staff,

trustees, former trustees, and the Alumni Board.

Editor: Andrea Miller – director

of Communications and Marketing Phone: (516) 393-4295

E-mail: andrea_miller@fa.org

Friends Academy admits students of any race, color, national and ethnic origin to

all rights, privileges, programs and activities available to students at the

school. Friends does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, religion,

gender, sexual orientation, national or ethnic origin in the administration of its educational policies, admissions policies, financial assistance program, athletic and

other school-administered programs.

NEXT MONTH'S DEADLINETo include information in the January 2013 electronic issue

of Among Friends please submit information to the

Communications Office by Monday, December 10th.

Friends,What a joy to have your children back at

FA and to see their smiles. it is clear they feel a special bond to each other, the faculty,

and our school com-munity, and even in a challenging time, their exuberance for all that they do should remind us of how powerful the human spirit is in overcoming travail. i have always believed that greatness is inher-

ent in humanity, and our task as teachers, parents, and mentors is to elicit this from your children and each other. Put another way, the Light or that of God binds each of us in the dance of life, so all we need to do is recognize that everyone is a poten-tial partner on that dance floor.

We are also ap-proaching the holi-day season, starting with Thanksgiving, my favorite of the year. The simplicity of the day as we come together with family and friends to give thanks for our blessings and share a hearty meal lifts our spirits and reminds us that love, and the connections love generates, gives us the most meaning in our lives. sue and i hope that your family experiences the joyful fellowship of Thanksgiving.

i also want to extend my best wishes for the december Holidays because we have decided to conflate november and december Among Friends. Whether you celebrate Hanukkah to commemorate the rededication of the Temple of Jerusalem over two millennia ago; or Kwanzaa to honor African-American culture, in the spirit of the swahili tradition recognizing the first fruits of the harvest; or Christmas, by awaiting the arrival of st. nicholas and remembering the birth of Jesus with his message of peace, hope, love, and forgive-ness, sue and i wish you all the blessings

of the season. in light of our Query, as we celebrate over the next two months with family and friends, let us also remember those we do not know but who need us.

i have written extensively over the last several weeks about service, so i will not reiterate those messages. i do want to quote one sentence as a reminder of what defines our soul as a Quaker community: “As i have seen over the years, helping others is wired into our dnA at Friends, and i believe that when the wind, waters, and snows recede, our sprits endure, as does the common humanity that joins us all through the Light and that of God in each of us. Let that spirit embolden us to act in service to others.”

in closing, i want to share some thoughts from Kahlil Gibran about working, or serv-

ing, with love:And what does it

mean to work with love?

it is to weave the cloth with threads from your heart, even as if your beloved where to wear that

cloth.it is to build a house with affection, even

as if your beloved were to dwell in that house.

it is to sow seeds with tenderness and reap the harvest with joy, even as if your beloved were to eat the fruit.

it is to charge all things you fashion with the breath of your own spirit.

As you celebrate the Holidays and think about how you can support your family, friends, and local community in times of need, draw threads from your heart, build with affection, sow and reap with tender-ness and joy, and charge all things with the breath of your own spirit. i hope that we can all embrace the essence of those words as we move forward into the new Year in the aftermath of sandy.

Bill MorrisHead of School

Query How can you support your

family, friends and local community in a time of need?

– Middle School

Nov/Dec Query

ON THE WEB

Join. Connect.

Belong. Stay ahead and get the inside look

at FA on our facebook pages and through our twitter posts.

Join the conversation today.

facebook.com/ friendsacademyNY

twitter.com/ FAtoday

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Parent Council

Winter Community Service Events

Students, faculty and parents can work together this winter season to help those less fortunate. This year’s toy drive and holiday tag craft event, as well as our Mitten Tree, will be used to help

area shelters and organizations.

All-School Mitten Tree When: November 27 – December 11, 2012Where: LS/MS/US LobbiesWhat: New mittens, gloves, hats and scarvesAll sizes and types, for infants, youths and adults. Contact: Co-Chairs Rita Afzelius and Susan Doscher

All-School Coat DriveWhen: November 1 – November 21, 2012Where: LS/MS/US LobbiesWhat: Gently used and clean coats of all sizes; snow suits/pants and boots. To benefit: The North Shore INN Soup Kitchen of Glen Cove, Sandy storm victimsContact: Chair Amy Storch

LS Holiday Tag Craft & Toy DriveWhen: December 12, 2012, 3:00 – 5:00 PMWhere: Dolan Center CommonsWhat: Get creative and decorate gift tags for the toys collected in the Toy Drive. Art materials are provided. Bring your imagination and a new, unwrapped toy for the drive. Refreshments served. Students must be accompanied by parents. Contact: Chair Dawn Kallman

Giving is Sure to Warm Your Heart This Winter!

With Hurricane sandy almost behind us, the holidays and some very valuable donation

drives are just around the corner. We will still be holding the coat drive and mitten tree/toy drive for all divisions. The november Parent Council meetings for each division will be the last until after the holidays. Upper and Lower school will still have meetings as sched-uled. Middle school has been postponed until december 5th.

The Parent Council breakfast has also been postponed until Wednesday, december 12th at 8 a.m. at the nassau Country Club.

it seems a little late to talk about the Fall Fair, but once again, the Fall Fair and Homecoming weekend lived up to its reputation! Congratulations to Shelly Flicker and Katie Schneider for their leadership in making this an exceptional day for the entire community. A big thank you goes out to Jeanne Sawicki, Lisa Crowley and Claudia Jacobson for not only organizing Gideon’s Attic, but also your time, energy and dedication to this enormous task.

To all the volunteers who gave their time and energy in making this event such a success, we thank you. it wouldn’t be Fall Fair without the sup-port of our Building and Grounds staff. Thank you all for all your help and all you do throughout the week in getting the campus ready for the fair!

As always, please refer to the glossy calendar for the many upcoming events in november and december.

Have a great Thanksgiving!

– Evelyn Rechler, PresidentAmy Storch, Executive Vice President

Exciting holiday season

Parent Council

AMONG FRIENDS ~ November/December 2012 [ 4 ] back to cover

"To go against the dominant thinking of your friends, of most of the people you see every day, is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform."

– Theodore H. White

in recognition of the month of Octo-ber as “Bullying Prevention Aware-ness Month,” i collaborated with the

Lower school and Middle school to raise awareness of bullying prevention through a series of educational and advisory activi-ties. Bullying takes many forms and can be

verbal, physical, or occur via technology, social media and the internet (known as cyberbullying).

studies show that bullying can severely affect the target's self-image,

social interactions, and school perfor-mance, often leading to insecurity, lack of self-esteem, and depression in adulthood. statistics also show that the vast majority of young people are neither bullies nor victims. instead, most students fall into the category of bystander – those who are knowledgeable about or present during a bullying incident and do, or say, nothing. in reality, it's the bystanders to bullying who hold the power. surveys demonstrate that more than half of bullying situations (57 percent) stop when a peer intervenes on behalf of the student being bullied. “if we don't involve bystanders, we can't solve the problem,” says richard Hazler, professor of counselor education at The Ohio state University.

To address this societal issue, the PACer national Bullying Prevention Center sponsors an annual nationwide “UniTY dAY” event in October: “Make it Orange and Make it end! Unite Against Bullying!” students in schools across the country were encouraged to wear the color orange and take an active role in the bullying pre-vention movement. On Tuesday, October 9th, all students in the Lower school and

Middle school held a special UniTY dAY to show they care about bullying and want it to end. The theme of UniTY dAY was "The end of Bullying Begins with Me!" and the students came together – in solidar-ity – to send one large, Or-AnGe message against bul-lying. The students engaged in discussions about ways to be an “upstander” (stand-ing up for others) and not accepting bullying as a part of growing up – an inevitable rite of passage into adulthood.

The issue has gained increased attention

in recent years in part because of the effect of social media technologies such as Face-book and Twitter, and because of high-pro-

file coverage of young people who have committed suicide after being bullied. Bullying certainly is a problem, more so now than in the past, and it is our responsibility – students, faculty, staff and parents – to educate our community to become part of the solution. it’s up to all of us to prevent it for, as Mother Teresa once said,

“if we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.”

Diversity & Multicultural AffairsShanelle Robinson, Director of Diversity and Multicultural Affairs | (516) 393-4284

Shanelle Robinson

Middle schoolers don orange in support of Unity Day and anti-bullying.

Lower School students pose in orange shirts, jackets and pants to show their support for Unity Day.

2012-13 Parent Diversity CoffeesTuesdays at 8:30 AM in

the Jackson HouseNov. 27Jan. 15

March 19May 21

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Spend the Summer with Friends!

Dear FA Parents and Friends,

We believe it’s important that every family take the time to find the best camp for their child and it’s never too early to explore your summer camp options.

Take a look at why so many families choose FA Summer Camps. Visit our website at www.fasummercamp.org for more details on our programs.

We are confident that spending time with us this summer on your FA Cam-pus will be right decision. Our 2013 Camp enrollment begins on December 1st.

Take advantage of our early enrollment rates and secure your spot for 2013. For more information con-tact us at: (516) 393-4207 or Camp@fa.org. – Rich Mack, Camp Director, FA Summer Camps

WE LISTEN: Our yearly evaluations are based on camper family feedback. It’s

important for us that each family chooses what is best for their child based on his/her needs and interests. We continue to build upon our success-ful programs.

BEST CAMPER-TO-STAFF RATIO: Means more individual attention and less waiting to

participate in the many activities throughout the day. Our staff gets to know your child and helps build lasting connections. We maximize participa-tion!!

BEST FACILITIES: Our FA students and families are familiar with our beautiful 65 acre

campus and we continue to improve our campus & facilities each year. NEW this year is our LS Playground!! Add 3 pools and it doesn’t get any better than this.

“POWER OF CHOICE”: Campers enter-ing 3-9th grade choose their activities and

schedule. They are grouped by age & ability and have the option of selecting week long camps throughout the summer. You choose the weeks and programs!

BEST STAFF: Experienced professional teachers and coaches work directly with your

children. An excellent staff retention rate paired with a long list of NEW staff applicants enables us to have the BEST STAFF because we expect the BEST!!

FLEXIBLE SCHEDULE: We understand the challenges of every family’s summer calendar so

we have a schedule that allows families to choose the weeks that best fit their needs. We want to accommodate our families as best as we can.

FOOD PROGRAM: Voted one of the top 3 BEST things at camp by our campers for the

last 3 years. Our Food Service Company works with us to provide a variety of choices that are both healthy and popular choices for our campers.

QUALITY PROGRAMS/COMPETITIVE PRICING!! We beat many of our competitors

pricing without sacrificing quality. Why spend more when you don’t have to! We offer 1-8 weeks options as well as Early Enrollment & Sibling DISCOUNTS.

PROGRAM VARIETY: With over 30 choices in sports, arts, computers, travel and academic

enrichment, you are sure to find a program of interest. Campers have the options of choosing familiar programs that they love, as well as new interests.

APPROPRIATE TIME FOR EACH ACTIVITY: We schedule enough time to teach, learn, play

and have fun. We don’t believe in rushing from one activity to the next. Our goal is to make sure every camper has time to fully engage in each activity.

Why do families choose FA Summer Camps?

Open Gym!

Sat. Dec. 151-3pm

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AMONG FRIENDS ~ November/December 2012 [ 6 ] back to cover

Thurs. 15 LS Parent Meeting – 8:15 am (Jackson House)

Fri. 16 ISE Chess Tournament @ Buckley – 4-7:00 pm

Tues. 20 Grades 2 & 3 Parent Coffeee – 8:30 a.m. (Jackson House)

Wed. 21 School & Offices Closed for Thanksgiving Holiday

All-School Coat Drive Ends

Mon. 26 Classes Resume at 8:05 a.m.

Tues. 27 All School Mitten Tree & Toy Drive Begins

Wed. 28 K & Grade 1 Parent Coffee – 8:30 a.m. (Jackson House)

December Highlights

Tues. 11 All School Mitten Tree & Toy Drive Ends

Wed. 12 Lower School Holiday Tag Craft – 3:30 p.m. (Commons)

Wed. 19 Full Day of School

Lower School Winter Concert – 10:00 a.m. (Theater)

Grades 3-12 All Division Art Show and LS Reception (Gallery)

Thurs. 20 Full Day of School

Fri. 21 Full Day of School

Mon. 24 School & Offices Closed for Holiday Break

in late september, our country cel-ebrated World Gratitude day. “World Gratitude day was instituted with the

idea of offering people an opportunity to show their appreciation and gratitude for everything in their lives.”

This year we spent that morning cutting the ribbon on the new playground and doing what communities do – enjoying life and sharing aloud how grateful we are to have such a wonderful place for our children to play and grow. i passed the

playground on the following saturday afternoon and sunday morning, and it was filled. i have faith that our neighbors visiting campus take time to be grateful, also.

There is so much in life to be grateful

for; i hope none of us in the Lower school is taking the good in our lives for granted. When we do this, there might be a tenden-cy to be rattled by every little thing that does not go our way.

i do my own share of complaining, but in the entire scheme of things, i cannot begin to count my blessings. i have a lovely family, a warm residence in a good neigh-borhood, a great job, work with children (the best population imaginable), have strong colleagues, and more, yet there are those moments when i forget, and stress the negative.

sundays and Thursdays are focused days of gratitude for me because i attend Meet-ing for Worship on Thursdays and river-side Church on most sundays, where the intention is to set aside time to center down and feel the gratitude.

How can we intentionally support students during this holiday season and beyond, to recognize where our gratitude lies? Often during Meeting, the students

From the Lower SchoolDeborah McCrimmon, Lower School Principal | Divisional Assistant: Gail Lucidi, 393-4230

Late November Highlights

share how grateful they are about a wide array of things: grandparents, parents, their school, their pets, etc., so the students are on the right track.

However, we want to give them more of an awareness of how good our collective and individual lives are. i think Bill Morris said it well in a recent e-mail: we all process tragedy differ-ently, but we know that it is important to communicate, so we are encouraging such conversations to occur.

We have to teach young people to process the good, also.

Mrs. Gail Lucidi shared her Gratitude Journal with me recently, the one she puts

on her desk at school. Lately, every morning when Gail comes in to work, she writes one thing she is grateful for, and she is going to invite the students to add their notes of gratitude. Her plan is to

make the journal prettier and more invit-ing than the black journals that were given

Deborah McCrimmon

Click Here: Up-to-date Web calendar

Having an attitude

of gratitude

In Lower School, we are looking for projects that aid students in developing attitudes of gratitude.

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Lower School Extended Day Program

WHAT IS EXTENDED DAY?

The after school Extended Day Program gives students an opportunity to continue thesocialization aspects of their day by engaging in activities.

This is a fun, exciting, and interac-tive program. We bake, do arts and crafts, and have outdoor play. In addition, we set aside time for assistance with homework with the help of responsible adults.

There are also games, puzzles, legos, jewelry making and bead work, pretend play, and other stimulating activities. We will also include special visitors such as authors, illustrators, and the Teddy Roosevelt Sanctuary, as well as, other exciting special presenta-tions.

HOURS AND ENROLLMENT

The hours for Extended Day are Monday-Friday from 3:30 p.m. to 6:00 p.m. on all regular Lower School Days. Snack will be pro-vided. Students may enroll for one to five days a week. Students may participate in Extended Day and Enrichment for a prorated fee. For your convenience, parents may choose to enroll their student in the Drop-in Service. This service enrolls your child in Extended Day with 24-hour notice for an additional fee.

FEES

n $36 per dayn $20 per day if your child is also o enrolled in Enrichment for the dayn $45 per day for Drop-Insn Late fee $1 dollar per minute after 6:00 p.m.

to the full faculty during the first week of school.

Gail said that her children had one when they were little, and it is nice for children to read their journal on a day they are sad or disappointed and to be reminded to re-flect on things that are positive and all the gifts they have in life. even after having a difficult time during the Hurricane sandy experience, Mrs. Lucidi has an attitude of gratitude that is written down. This is what one community member is doing to highlight thankfulness.

in a 2010 Christian Science Monitor ar-ticle: "Teaching Gratitude," Paul Van slam-brouck highlights various child-focused, responsibility projects. in Lower school, we are looking for projects that aid students in developing attitudes of gratitude.

“One way to enhance character devel-opment among students is to foster their experience and expression of gratitude. Pos-sessing a capacity for gratitude not only can strengthen students’ positive life outlook and appreciation for others but also can support a positive school experience.

specifically, gratitude can lead to increased well-being, greater progress toward goals, improved relationships, and enhanced pro social behaviors, all of which can affect the individual student and the overall school climate. Because gratitude is an attribute that is developed, it can be practiced and reinforced in the learning en-vironment (Fostering Gratitude, by david n. Miller).”

We are in the process of developing a hands-on community service activity for those who were troubled by Hurricane sandy.

so as we come upon Thanksgiving, the Christian and Jewish seasons of light and other religious holidays that speak to ways to give back, let us as a school keep remem-bering to teach children how to be grateful and to appreciate all of our blessings.

*Fees will be charged to your student account monthly. CLICK HERE TO ENROLL.

Chess at Friends

Annual Interschool Chess Tournaments,

2012-13For students, K - 9th grade

n THIS FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 16 AT BUCKLEYn Friday, March 1 at East Woodsn Friday, April 19 at Portledge

All tournaments start promptly at 4:00 p.m.

and end at 7:15 p.m.

Click here to register.

AMONG FRIENDS ~ November/December 2012 [ 8 ] back to cover

Click Here: Up-to-date Web calendar

From the Middle School

it's great to see you all again. needless to say, this has been a difficult time for all of us. The devastation caused by

Hurricane sandy will surely leave a lasting impression on everyone in the tri-state area for a long time to come. now, more than ever we should focus on our theme of com-munity and foster our resources in support of those impacted.

in a month where we were focusing on Hunger Awareness and our yearly food drives, these needs will be greater than ever.

Look for all-school ef-forts to support these causes in the coming days, i encourage all of you to donate to the best of your ability. As Thanks-giving draws near, the Ms will continue its efforts to help those

that have been impacted by hunger. in the past, we have counted on your support when planning our annual Thanksgiv-ing drive to collect food items for nearly 200 needy families in our area as well as families impacted by the storm. This year, the organization that we work with, CsAC, has requested that all donations be in the form of cash donations, checks made out to CsAC or stop & shop gift cards.

This is an organization that counts on our support every year (for over 20 years), so any donations would be appreciated. This is a format change for this year only, as the logistics of organzing their annual food drive proved to be impossible given the current state of affairs that exist due to Hurricane sandy. during december, we will also be planning our annual Toy drive. More details will be coming out soon.

Anti-bullying education in the MSUntil now, we have been focusing on

Continuing to help those that have been impacted

by hunger

StephenRubenacker

Stephen Rubenacker, Middle School Principal | Divisional Assistant: Marian Tobia, 393-4239

Late November HighlightsFri. 16 ISE Chess Tournament @ Buckley – 3:45 p.m.

Wed. 21 Thanksgiving Recess Begins

Mon. 26 Classes resume – 8:05 a.m.

Thurs. 29 Middle School Parent Conferences, 4:00-9:00 p.m.

Fri. 30 No Parent Conferences; a regular school day

December HighlightsTues. 4 MS/US Admissions Open House – 10:15 a.m. (Kumar Wang Library)

Wed. 5 Rescheduled MS Reps/Parent Meeting – 8:15 a.m. (Jackson House)

Tues. 11 Rescheduled Parent Conferences – 8 - 11:30 a.m. Middle School Arts Reception – 6 p.m. (Dolan Center Gallery) Middle School Winter Concert – 7 p.m. (Theater)

Thurs. 20 Full day of school (originally closed)

Fri. 21 Full day of school (originally closed)

NOTE: The Nov. 16th Enrichment Day has been rescheduled to the spring. ERB testing will occur in late January.

Click Here to Register

November 29 - December 1, 2012

Register and send 25% percent of your holiday shopping toward the Friends Academy Diversity Committee Grant Fund.

To register, click here. And don't forget to choose "Friends Academy, Diversity Grant Fund" as your charity of choice.

AMONG FRIENDS ~ November/December 2012 [ 8 ] back to cover AMONG FRIENDS ~ November/December 2012 [ 9 ]

community largely in terms of how we treat one another and ways to foster kindness and respect among the student body. so far, much of this conversation has been a part of the schoolwide anti-bully Bystander and has blossomed with the recognition of national Anti-Bully Aware-ness month.

On October 9th, the school recognized Unity day by wearing orange to demon-strate their support for that effort. Being that students this age are constantly chang-ing and continuing to develop their social and emotional skills, it’s no wonder that this conversation is constantly in motion and changing depending on the needs of each child.

recently, a student asked me about the difference between bullying (non-physical) and teasing. Are they one in the same? stopbullying.gov defines bullying as: “An unwanted, aggressive behavior among school-aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose.”

The key things to take away from that definition are that a) Bullying is repeated. in other words, if the problem behavior continues after it is addressed in some way; b) involves one person demonstrating power over another; and c) Can involve physical and verbal aggression or purpose-ful exclusion. These factors distinguish bullying versus things such as teasing and are behaviors that we are eager to address through our advisory and student life programs.

As all of us aspire to live the Quaker ide-als we must continually remember to look for “that of God in everyone” and be alert to behaviors that can potentially violate that belief.

it’s important for students to understand that when they purposefully engage in this behavior and take on the role of a bully,

they hurt not only the victim, but violate their responsibility to the community, which expects them to behave to a higher standard. All of us have that same respon-sibility.

End of the 1st quarter

As of this writing, the Ms has completed the first quarter. Before the Thanksgiving break, you will be provided with a full set of academic grades and comments. These grades are estimated, meaning that they are not official grades and not retained in the student’s permanent file. Their purpose is to provide you and the student with a snapshot of how your child is doing at this point in the semester.

remember that these grades and com-ments will be slightly distorted given that we ended the quarter a week earlier than anticipated, October 26th. This meant that some of the grades that were supposed to be included in the quarter grade, were not. Our teachers will be doing their best to adjust these grades during our first few days to give a fair representation of how the child did during the first quarter.

Advisors will be reviewing these grades and comments with each student so that they have a clear understanding of what they are doing well, as well as what areas they can work towards improving as they progress through the semester.

Please remind your children that they don’t need to share their grades with other students even though may be tempted to do so. This can frequently lead to over-competitiveness and unneeded stress. Good advice to give to kids at this age is that grades are their own business!

The most important thing now, how-ever, is to get students back into their regular routine which will set the stage for a successful year. i trust that with all of us working together, this will be accom-plished.

On behalf the Ms faculty and staff, i wish all of you an enjoyable time with family and friends during the upcoming holiday season.

The Friends Academy Library

Tribute Fund

Looking for a way to say thank you to a member of the Friends family? Looking for

something special for your child's teacher?

The Library Tribute Fund is a wonderful way to give a meaning-ful gift that will be remembered for years to come. Any member of the community may give the gift of a book in a person’s name. You may request that your gift is used to purchase a particular book or the choice may be left up to the discre-tion of the library staff.

Pay by Check:l Include name of person the gift is

in recognition and whom it is from.

l Mail to: Friends AcademyParent Council,

Attn: Kathleen Picoli270 Duck Pond RoadLocust Valley, NY 11560.

l Drop off: Parent Council mailbox on campus

l Upon receipt: A card will be sent to the person

who is being recognized and a book-plate with their name will be placed in the appropriate book.

AMONG FRIENDS ~ November/December 2012 [ 10 ] back to cover

Click Here: Up-to-date Web calendar

Late November HighlightsTh-Sat. 15-17 Upper School Fall Production, "The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee" – 7:30 p.m. (Theater)

Sun. 18 Junior Class Trip to D.C. (Returns Tuesday at approx. 5:00 p.m.)

Wed. 21 School and Offices closed for Thanksgiving Recess

Mon. 26 Classes resume at 8:05 a.m. (No Faculty In-Service Day) Thurs. 29 11th Grade Parent Coffee – 8:30 a.m. (Jackson House)

December HighlightsSat. 1 SAT & Subject Tests – Local Test Centers Tues. 4 12th Grade Parent Conferences – 7:00 p.m. >>PLEASE NOTE CHANGE FROM GLOSSY CALENDAR<<

Thurs. 6 Natural Helpers Retreat (leaves 2:30 p.m. returns Friday 6 p.m.)

Fri. 7 Dress Down Day Sat. 8 SSAT @ FA – 8:30 a.m.; ACT Exam (Local Test Centers)

Thurs. 13 Upper School Winter Concert – 7:30 p.m. (Theater)

Thurs. 20 Full day of school

Fri. 21 Full day of school

Mon. 24 School closed for holiday break

Ahead in JanuaryWed. 2 Classes Resume at 8:05 a.m. Fri. 4 Grade 10 PSAT Standardized Testing MEETING – 8:30 a.m. (Jackson House)

**Please note that the 9th-11th conference dates have been changed due to storm make up days.There will be 2 evenings for 9th – 11th conferences, both from 4:00 - 8:00 p.m. We will not hold all-day conferences on Feb. 1st. US classes will be in session that day.

Conference dates as follows:Jan 24 Grades 9, 10, 11 – Parent Teacher Conference Evening – 4:00 – 8:00 p.m.Jan 27 Grades 9, 10, 11 – Parent Teacher Conference Evening – 4:00 – 8:00 p.m.

All appointments will be scheduled online. Information for conferences will be sent via mail and e-mail.

From the Upper School

As we came back together on november 9th, after nearly a two-week absence, the Upper school

students and faculty spent the first day sharing our stories and reconnecting to our FA community. Our return to routine and normalcy was desperately needed by

everyone. needless to say we were all veryhappy to see each other again.

i remember vividly Hurricane Gloria in 1985! The path of that storm went

directly through the middle of the town where i live, Babylon Village. At that time, my husband and i had just purchased a fixer-upper house and we were living on our boat. storm surges were unprecedented and homes had to be evacuated. We managed to survive!

Who will forget the ice storm of 1998. At that time my family was living on campus and we were able to ice skate on the soccer field! Power was out for days. We managed to overcome! The devastation and disruption of “sandy” far surpasses my memories of any other storms. This is a storm we will long remember.

These are the times we turn to our faith and search for the guidance and strength to move forward. As my minister reminded us in his recent sermon, “With God, all things are possible.” As the apostle Paul said, “And now these three remain, faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” With faith we can overcome the challenges and obstacles we face. With hope, we can strive to regain what we have lost and rebuild our lives. With love, all is possible.

spirit week and Fall Fair – what a won-derful community event! The kids enjoyed the daily spirit dress down days which led up to the Friday events; decorating the so-cial space, the Pep rally, barbecue, bonfire, and dance! We could not have asked for

Searching for guidance and strength to move forward

Deborah Schoman, Upper School Principal | Divisional Assistant: Cathy Philipakos, 393-4215

Deborah Schoman

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more beautiful weather for our Fall Fair day. What i particularly enjoyed this year was connecting with many alums from a variety of different classes,including the Class of ’87 who celebrated their 25th reunion.

This was a special class for me, as i taught many of them as 7th graders in 1981 in my first year teaching at Friends. in speaking with many of them, i was curi-ous to know what in their Friends educa-tion allowed them to successfully navigate their college years and beyond. What i heard repeatedly was the school’s emphasis on encouraging students to “take risks" – try a variety of different courses, activities, sports – and develop “self- reliance and resiliency” – recognize that you have to figure out ways to cope with challenging situations. They credited their dedicated teachers for their patience, commitment, and friendship, encouraging and helping them to develop these important skills.

Schedule for grades/commentsMid-semester grades and comments will

be released just prior to our Thanksgiving break. The first quarter of the school year can be a challenging one for all students

as they are transitioning into a new grade level and working with a new set of teach-ers. i encourage students to consider their progress to date in each course and to speak to their teachers if they are unsure. if they are not “on track” in a course, discuss a plan of action with the teacher or the advisor who can help them to get back on track.

This may involve setting up extra help sessions, or committing to re-writing or drafting of papers and labs. it may in-volve developing stronger study and time management skills. it is important for the student to take the first step in this process and if they stumble, the “net” is not too far below. i will review carefully the “unof-ficial” estimated grades and comments that you will receive early in november. Advisors will also review them with their advisees. This is the perfect time to adjust where needed, reset goals, and aim for solid first semester grades, which ends in mid- January.

Stay up to date about post-Sandy calendar changes

Please be sure to take note of the updated school calendar that reflects the resched-

uled dates we have made due to “sandy.” As Bill indicated in his communications with you, it will be important to inform me directly if your child is unable to be in school due to previous commitments.

if your child is unable to attend one or more of these make-up days, we will mark them as excused, however, the student will be responsible to obtain class notes or make up any missed assessments within a reasonable period of time.

Please make note of the Parent-Teacher Conferences

Dec. 4th (changed from dec. 5th); senior Parent-Teacher Conference evening – 7-9pm. You will receive information by e-mail regarding how to use the on-line scheduler. You may sign up until 4 p.m. on december 4th. if you have any questions or need assistance with scheduling your conferences, please contact Cathy Philipakos (393-4215).

Jan. 24th (changed from Feb. 1st) and 31st – 9th/10th/11th grades Parent-Teacher Conference evenings – 4-9 p.m. Please do not feel you need to wait until then if you have any concerns or questions. We will again use the on-line scheduler to arrange conferences. You will receive log-in information when we get closer to the date.

More events in Nov/Deci am headed off with our Juniors to

Washington, d.C. on november 18th! i look forward to seeing you at the Upper school theater production, “The 25th Annual Putnam spelling Bee” november 15, 16, and 17 and the Winter Concert on december 13th. And don’t miss our Aca-demic Team compete sunday, nov. 18 at 6:30 p.m. on THe CHALLenGe, Chan-nel 14 – FA vs. solomon schechter!

As we enter the seasons of Thanksgiv-ing, Christmas and Hannukah, may we remember how fortunate we are to be part of this wonderful community that seeks to nurture that Light within each of us.

The Girls Varsity Field Hockey Team and Girls Varsity Soccer teams are still battling through their playoffs seasons.

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Fitzgerald, F. Scott. The Great Gatsby. The tragic story of the wealthy Jay Gatsby and his attempt to win back the love of Daisy Buchanan. Soon to be a major motion picture; read the book, see the movie!

Hugo, Victor. Les Miserables. Convict Jean Valjean struggles to escape his past in a world of poverty and ignorance dur-ing the French Revolution in Hugo’s classic novel. Soon to be a major motion picture; read the book, see the movie!

Salinger, J.D. Catcher in the Rye. An adolescent boy, knowing he is about to be dropped by his school, spends three days and nights in New York City.

Tolkien, J.R.R. The Hobbit. Bilbo Baggins, a quiet and contented hobbit, embarks on a grand and dangerous adventure when he joins the wizard Gandalf and a group of dwarves on their quest to reclaim a stolen treasure. Soon to be a major motion picture; read the book, see the movie!

Tolstoy, Leo. Anna Karenina. Anna, miserable in her loveless marriage, does the unthinkable and succumbs to her desires for the dashing Vronsky. Soon to be a major motion picture; read the book, see the movie!

Barrie, J.M. Peter Pan. The adventures of the three Darling children in Never-Never Land with Peter Pan, the boy who would not grow up.

Brown, Margaret Wise. Goodnight Moon. As a little bunny says goodnight to each of the objects in the great green room, the illustrations grow progressively darker. This soothing, classic going-to-bed story lends itself to beginning readers.

Dahl, Roald. James and the Giant Peach. When James drops magic crystals by the peach tree, the toy peach starts growing. Before long, it is as big as a house and contains a secret entranceway.

Farley, Walter. The Black Stallion. The story of the understanding, love and adventures between a boy and a wild horse.

Keats, Ezra Jack. The Snowy Day. The adventures of a little boy in the city on a very snowy day.

Konigsburg, E. L. From the Mixed-up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler. Two suburban children run away from their Conn. home and go to New York's Metropolitan Museum of Art, where their ingenuity enables them to live in luxury.

Lewis, C.S. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Four English school children enter the magic land of Narnia.

Lobel, Arnold. Frog and Toad Treasury. In this collection of Frog and Toad stories, these eponymous friends carry on their friend-ship through mild misunderstandings and misadventures, always ready to forgive each other and forget.

London, Jack. Call of the Wild. A pet dog is forcibly taken to the Klondike gold fields and made to be a sled dog, but his canine instincts prove more powerful than man's brutal influence and he becomes the leader of a wolf pack.

Piper, Watty. The Little Engine that Could. A little blue engine comes to the rescue of a train that is loaded with toys, dolls, and good things to eat, but struggles to get over the mountains.

Sendak. Maurice. Where the Wild Things Are. After he is sent to bed without supper for behaving like a wild thing, Max dreams of a voyage to the island where the wild things are.

Silverstein, Shel. The Giving Tree. A young boy grows to manhood and old age experiencing the love and generosity of a tree.

White, E.B. Charlotte’s Web. Wilbur the pig is desolate when he discovers that he is destined to be the farmer's Christmas din-ner until his spider friend, Charlotte, decides to help him.

Susan Cooper has received the 2012 Margaret A. Edwards Award for lifetime achievement in the area of Young Adult fiction. Lois Lowry has just released the last book of The Giver Quartet. Each of these titles will stand on their own merit, but readers might be tempted to delve into their earlier Newbery Award winners, now considered classics.

Cooper, Susan. The five books in the The Dark is Rising sequence follow the adventures of Will Stanton and the three Drew children as they search for a hidden grail and the six Signs that will enable the Light to triumph over the encroaching Dark.

Over Sea, Under Stone. Three children on a holiday in Cornwall find an ancient manuscript which sends them on a dangerous quest for a grail that would reveal the true story of King Arthur.

The Dark is Rising. On his eleventh birthday, Will Stanton discovers that he is the last of the Old Ones, and that his destiny is to seek the six magical Signs that will enable the Old Ones to triumph over the evil forces of the Dark.

Greenwitch. Jane's invitation to witness the making of the Greenwitch begins a series of sinister events in which she and her two brothers help the Old Ones recover the grail stolen by the Dark.

The Grey King. Will Stanton, visiting in Wales, is swept into a desperate quest to find the golden harp and awaken the Sleepers.

Silver on the Tree. In this conclusion of the tale begun in Over Sea, Under Stone, Will Stanton, the Welsh boy Bran, and the Drew children try to locate the crystal sword which alone can vanquish the strong forces of Dark.

Lowry, Lois. The Giver Quartet. The Giver. Given his lifetime assignment at the Ceremony of Twelve, Jonas becomes the receiver of memories shared by only one other in his community and discovers the terrible truth about the society in which he lives.

Gathering Blue. Lame and suddenly orphaned, Kira is mysteriously removed from her squalid village to live in the palatial Council Edifice, where she is expected to use her gifts as a weaver to do the bidding of the all-powerful Guardians.

Messenger. In this novel that unites characters from "The Giver" and "Gathering Blue," Matty, a young member of a utopian community that values honesty, conceals an emerging healing power that he cannot explain or understand.

Son. This fourth installment and completion of The Giver Quartet features a new heroine, fourteen- year-old Claire, who goes on a journey of endurance and courage to find her son. It also includes appearances by Jonas from “The Giver” and Kira from “Gathering Blue.”

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Holiday Book Suggestions – 2012

With the holidays rushing in on us like Hurricane sandy did a few weeks ago, we thought it would be timely to recommend to our uprooted community some “comfort reading”, so here is a list of classic books to hopefully warm your hearts and hearths.

Travel back to simpler times by curling up with one of these “must-reads” that you somehow as yet never managed to savor.

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Calendar of Events

2012 – 2013

Parent Concerns Subcommittee

of the Quaker Life Committee

Parent Meeting for Worship

Gathering at the Matinecock Meeting House

Thursday, Nov. 15 at 6:30 p.m. (Special post-Sandy gathering)

Monday, Nov. 19 at 2 p.m. (Thanksgiving theme)

Thursday, Jan. 19 at 2 p.m.(During Peace Week)

Family Community Service Saturdays

Sandwich Making in the Dolan Center Commons at 10 a.m.

Dec. 1, Feb. 9 and Mar. 16(Bring a loaf of white bread and pound of lunchmeat or cheese, a bag of carrots and cookies. Donations will be given to

Part of the Solution in the Bronx.)

Quaker-In-Residence John Scardina

Parenting Workshops

"A Parent for All Seasons: A Month-by-Month Parent Guide"

Monday, Mar. 4, 7 p.m., Jackson House

Subcommittee MeetingsContact Subcommittee Clerk Nina Foley

if you'd like to attend, at ninaehrlichfoley@gmail.com.

in Meeting for Worship at Purchase Monthly Meeting there were several messages concerning George Fox’s

simple prescription for life: “Walk cheer-fully over the earth, speaking to that of God in every person.”

While most of the time i emphasize the latter portion of this sentence – honoring

the divine in each of us, so aptly summed up in the Hindu phrase namaste (“the godliness in me honors the godliness in you”) - several speakers focused instead on the cheerfulness Fox implores us to embrace. Having just had a cranky morn-ing at home, i am in

awe of this challenge: you want me to be a cheerful part of this planet? What about those times when i am just too negative to be around? And what about the adversity of a storm like sandy?

in the Christian tradition there is even a more challenging request. Jesus said you should “love your enemies; do good to those who hate you; bless those who curse you; and pray for those who treat you badly.” (Luke 6:27-29) A tall order, no?

Well, in these tumultuous times (natural disasters, a presidential election, economic uncertainty, strife and torment in many parts of the globe) here are two ideas that might bear some fruit. Can we be cheerful and loving with one another? And can we pray for those who do harm, not to enable their wrongheaded actions but instead to invoke their own godliness within?

seeking progress and not perfection, i propose that we go forward on this path to implement what the dalai Lama calls simple “loving kindness.” May we increas-ingly find ways to support one other in this blessed FA community.

Talking with Children About Natural Disasters

in the wake of Hurricane sandy and an increasing likelihood that extreme weather events will be a part of our lives from now on, we parents need to maintain open and loving conversations with our children. While there is no "wrong way" to be open and loving, here are some suggestions that might help:

l remain available to talk about what is happening. Accept all questions, even if they are repeated over (and over!) again.

l Be honest. Give facts at an appropriate level for your child's developmental level. Be willing to say "i don't know" if that is indeed the case.

l Acknowledge feelings - your own and your child's. natural events bring up lots of emotions for us - fear, anger, worry, despair, hope - and that is how it should be. Talking about feelings helps everyone.

l Let your child know there are people who can help. Become people who can help. Find ways to help those in more need than you. Helping others creates hope for all.

l Limit television viewing: vivid images can be quite disturbing and can cause long-lasting discomfort.

l Use drawing as a way to get disturb-ing images out of your child's mind: have them draw the image and then rip up the picture. This works especially well with nightmares.

l recognize that headaches, stomach aches, and sleep disturbances all accom-pany anxiety and uncertainty. Let your child know that these are natural reactions to stress and will pass soon.

l Let your children be kids: when they are ready to just go out and play with their friends, let them do so. Help them - and yourselves - come to terms with this "new normal" in our world.

it is in the shelter of one another we find solace and strength.

Blessings to all – Teacher John

Think. Laugh. Learn.

Walking cheerfully over the earth

John Scardina, Quaker-in-Residence, john_scardina@fa.org

John Scardina

Lunch with Teacher John, Dec. 6th

at 12:15 PM in the Frost Hall

Conference Room

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Click here: Artist's Institute

Middle School Winter Concert: December 11 – 7:00 p.m. (Theater)Grades 3-12 All-Division Art Show; MS Reception at 6:00 p.m. (Gallery)

Grades 3-12 All-Division Art Show; US Reception at 6:00 p.m. (Gallery)

Upper School Winter Concert: December 13 – 7:30 p.m. (Theater)

Grades 3-12 All-Division Art Show; LS Reception (Gallery)

Lower School Winter Concert: December 19 – 10 a.m. (Theater)

Friends Academy Theater & Arts Holiday Happenings