Vol. 15, No. 792 By Islanders, For Islanders Fort Myers Beach, Florida April 15, 2016

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what’s Inside:Letters, pg 3

Grand Resorts, pg 3Fireworks, pg 9

Conservation 2020, pg 10Editorial, pg 11

Bay Oaks, pg 12Library Treasures, pg 13

Manatees, pg 16Sports, pg 20

Funnies, pgs 21, 22Puzzles, pg 23

Local Markets, pg 24Around About, pgs 26,27

Classifieds, pg 28Who’s Playing, pg 31

Robert Redford, Rena Sofer, Cloris Leachman, Kim Basinger, Tino & Alex Wallenda, Barbara Hershey, Susan Blakely, Melissa Gilbert, Timothy Busfield, John Heard, and perhaps a future star who will one day dwarf them all, bring their cinematic magic – whether in celluloid or physical form – to the 10th Fort Myers Beach Film Festival. Screenings are at The Beach Theater at 6425 Estero Boulevard from Wednesday, April 20, through Sunday, April 24. Films begin each afternoon at 3 p.m. and continue throughout the evening. “The Fort Myers Beach Film Festival offers something for everyone,” gushes chairperson Carla Mandel. “There are features and documentaries, serious dramas to hilarious comedies, and local, student, and even children’s films. If you are a film buff, this is for you!” Opening ceremonies are

Wednesday, April 20, at 2 p.m., with a special guest highlighting the Festival’s 1st film of “Immunity” at 3 p.m. Set in 1942 in an interrogation room in Auschwitz, a Jewish teacher and one of her former students, now an SS doctor, play out a deadly game over her life or her soul. Star Achievement Award-winner Rena Sofer is the teacher, and will appear in person to lead a question & answer session following the movie. Sofer is well known to audiences everywhere, including starring turns in The Bold & The Beautiful, 24 and NCIS. An integral aspect are local films that Carla describes as “always good, and the Fort Myers Beach Film Festival has a reputation for cultivating homegrown talent.” Among the 2016 entrants are “The Bright Side” by director Eric Alexander; “Happy Family” from producer Mark

Cut, Print!10th Annual Fort Myers Beach

Film Festival Debuts

Cont’d pg.8

Rena Sofer will appear in person to lead a question & answer session following the movie

Immunity. Sofer is well known to audiences everywhere, including starring turns in The Bold

& The Beautiful, 24 and NCIS.

Looking out into the Gulf of Mexico last weekend, one could see no sign of the ugly plumes of smelly brown water that plagued our emerald shores as recently as last month. The reason for that is simple – it stopped raining, so the Army Corps of Engineers have cut back on the nutrient-laden releases from Lake Okeechobee and the runoff from farms and fields has tapered off. But come rainy season, the water will return – as it always does – unless the enormous political engine that runs our state is able to overcome the inertia of many years of inaction on water issues and do something about it. Though most of our readers are by now keenly aware of this issue, many may not know that this cycle has been going on for many, many years. Excess water from Lake Okeechobee originally flowed over the southern rim of the lake in one long, slow moving river of grass to Florida Bay – feeding the Everglades. It was in 1920 that the United States government, pushed by Florida lawmakers, began ‘reclaiming’ the Everglades by dredging and building canals to ‘drain the swamp’ just south of the lake. This caused Florida’s coastal population to explode and brought to Florida former General Motors magnate Charles Stewart Mott - an investor who founded U.S. Sugar in 1931. But sugar cane simply does not grow well in Florida’s climate naturally, even after

drainage and massive applications of fertilizers like phosphorus and nitrogen. It needs water and lots of it. As with many crops, sugar is also subsidized by the federal government. As one scientist put it, “Paying lavish subsidies to produce sugar in Florida makes as much sense as creating a federal subsidy program to grow bananas in Massachusetts.” But pay the federal government does - beginning with the Sugar Act of 1934. As with most things federal, the program grew. Recently the GAO estimated that the federal sugar program, including price supports, import quotas, loan guarantees and other anti-market efforts, now costs taxpayers around $1.9 billion annually. Even with government help, however, Florida’s sugar industry remained tiny until 1959 and the Cuban Revolution. Almost overnight, all Cuban sugar was embargoed and U.S trade officials made up for the loss by offering more incentives. The Army Corps of Engineers drained even more of the Everglades, more cane was planted, and sugar began to take over south Florida. The Cuban Revolution also brought the Fanjul family, when Alfonso Fanjul – heir to the Gomez-Mena sugar empire when Castro took over – was forced to flee to the United States. Today, his sons Alphonso Jr. (Alfy) and Jose “Pepe” run Fanjul Corporation a large sugar and real estate conglomerate in the

The History of the South Florida Water Wars

Cont’d pg.5

Students at Fort Myers Beach Elementary School and the teachers and staff that work with them every day – all have reason to be proud! They’ve earned an “A” grade on their 2015 Florida State Assessment tests! The new FSA tests for grades 3, 4 & 5 in the areas of English/Language Arts (ELA), Math and Science rolled out last spring amid some concern. The first year would be a baseline year, a year where scores couldn’t reliably be compared to the previous year’s FCAT scores. How would our students do? We’d have to wait almost a full year to find out. Local students needn’t

have worried, as our local school’s students did very well. That would be an understatement. Our kids knocked it out of the park! In Lee County, Fort Myers Beach Elementary had the highest point total and the highest percentage total of any elementary in the county, ranking #1 in the district. Beach Elementary was the only school (elementary, middle or high) in the entire 121-school Lee County School District to achieve 90% or better in any category! 92% of Beach School’s students in grades 3, 4 & 5 passed the Math test! B e a c h Elementary earned Cont’d pg.4

Beach Students Earn an ‘A’‘Out of the Park’ Scores

“Whatever good things we build end up building us.” - Jim Rohn

Marty Rossiter, like so many of his generation, picked up a guitar and played in bar bands as a young man. But life - and responsibilities - stepped into his path, and he opted for a lifetime working in the concrete business. It took a formidable, prolonged investment of time, money and labor over a span of forty-one years, but it paid off. A lifetime of putting his nose to the grindstone gave Marty and his wife Cindy the freedom to enjoy their retirement. Cont’d pg.7

Islander Spotlight: Marty Rossiter – Luthier

Marty’s handmade guitar, and the tree out of which it was made

Page 2 The Island Sand Paper April 15th, 2016

Page 3The Island Sand PaperApril 15th, 2016

Letters to the EditorBEACH A CASH COW

It is not too difficult to see why Tom Torgerson and his group would think their plans would work. Over the years, every time that changes have been made, making it easier to get on and off the island, just that many more people have come. It’s like nurturing a money tree. A boat runs up under the Matanzas swing bridge during Donna and we get a causeway. Then, along with promotions touting the new scenic by-way, we have more tourists and occasional misdirected commercial traffic coming at us from both ends. So, we widen the road and put up a high rise bridge to ease the flow, resulting in even more visitors and day-trippers. Ro Roberts was a promoter of another connector from Estero via a new causeway during the 70’s, but the idea was discouraged by Ben Pratt. He advised that even more traffic would inundate the island as had happened with each previous attempt to ease and control traffic and growth. He often remarked that the beach was an attractive nuisance. Make more room, more will come. What has not changed over the years however; most of the island is residential. All of those properties have the right to access and egress. What is always hounding the freehold residents of this island is the commercial interest of the owners of commercial property, a smaller proportion by area but a larger proportion by loudness. The Beach is the county’s largest cash cow so we don’t want to kill it, but we don’t want it stepping on us either. Stephen RobertsFort Myers Beach

Fishing from the swing bridge.

Earlier this week, Tom Torgerson responded to an inquiry by a member of our local media by sending a letter to every member of the Town Council of Fort Myers Beach where he announced his plans to scrap the proposed Grand Resorts development and return at some point with new plans for the properties he owns in the downtown district – plans that will likely not include Crescent Beach Park or the rerouting of Estero Boulevard. When contacted, Torgerson declined to comment further to ‘any members of the media’ saying his letter accurately sums up his position as of right now. That letter, in its entirety, is as follows: “John (Dammerman, Torgerson’s investment partner) and I will not come forward with an application representative of our last concept, and we do not have a timeline for developing a new concept. However, we remain hopeful that a new concept will ultimately be supported by the Town, while being financially viable for us. There are significant challenges with developing a new concept, it will take some time to do so.” “Whatever we do ultimately put forth most likely will not involve Crescent Beach Park, nor rerouting of Estero Boulevard, nor include a conference center. We do feel that what the downtown core district needs to enhance its vitality are lodging units versus more retail, restaurants, bars and t-shirt shops. High quality lodging units that

have strong national/international marketing infrastructure will improve business for this core district year round and especially out-of-season when they most need it. Lodging units also represent a type of use that is least impactful to traffic. We will likely compliment the lodging usage with some public parking and scaled back onsite food and beverage.” “We will also likely propose something that can be enhanced by the Coastal Protection System but isn’t dependent upon it. We may likely put forward the CPS for the Town and County’s consideration as a means to save the downtown core district’s pedestrian grade level desires so consistently stated in the Comp Plan. The public can decide if it is worthy or not to implement. We have spent around $250,000 solely towards developing the CPS and will likely donate that information for public consideration. We have minimal regrets as we reflect back upon the previous redevelopment concept and public process. We actually envision that the future process will benefit tremendously from our having engaged public input in the past six months.” “In the end, we have a strong desire to help unite the community during the future process - avoiding divisiveness!”

We spoke with Mayor Dennis Boback and Council member Anita Cereceda to get their reactions to the announcement. “At this point, Cont’d pg.6

Grand Resorts Proposal Tabled

Page 4 The Island Sand Paper April 15th, 2016

Island Wild Flowersby Jim Rodwell

SMALL PURPLE BLADDERWORTPink, sweet, appealing.

Sweet flower watches overUnsuspecting death.

Dorothy Rodwell

The Small Purple Bladderwort, Utricularie resupinata, is a tiny carnivore that grows in the shallow waters of marshes, and ponds. The resupinata, like other species of the genus Utricularia, has a stem system. There are no roots, branches or true leaves. The main stem grows horizontally just below the soil surface. An erect flower stalk grows upward from the main stem to a height of four or five inches that will float on the water’s surface. Surrounding the flower stalk are grass-blade like stems that also grow up from the main stem. Just at the base of these grass-blade stems are the deadly bladder traps. These traps have tiny hairs that when disturbed triggers the trap to open. Water, unfortunate insects and crustaceans are sucked in and digested. At the top of the flower stalk is a single light purple flower that is barely ¼ inch in diameter. It consists of two lips. The lower lip is made up of three petals and the upper lip has two petals that are fused together into a boot-like stalk. Between the upper and lower lips is a tunnel housing the sex organs. The entire flower lays backwards and faces the sky. There are no bladders attached to the flower. Eating pollinators when they are trying to pollinate is just not a good idea.

Beach Students Earn an ‘A’‘Out of the Park’ Scores, Cont’d from pg.1

a spot in the top 25% of all elementary schools in the state for ELA; the top 10% for Math. Their composite score for all three tests put them in the top 10% of the state. Principal Larry Wood spoke proudly of his students, staff, teachers and community this week. “We are so fortunate here at Beach Elementary! We have wonderful, hard-working students. Our students receive so much support from their teachers, the staff here and the whole community! We have a community that supports our school and students in unbelievable ways. Our building is often full of retired teachers volunteering to help our students. Staff stays after school all the time to help, and not just classroom teachers, our support staff is right there also.” Wood specifically mentioned some of the schools after school enrichment programs. “We have the W.I.N. program – ‘What I Need.’ Twice a week, teachers, support staff and volunteers stay after school to help students master concepts they might be struggling with. “We have new Chrome books – computers filled with educational software that were donated by the Beach Kids Foundation-we’re on our way to having a Chrome book for each student!’ It all comes down to collaboration according to Wood.

“Many of our teachers have taught other grades so they’re familiar with the materials. It’s all about the needs of the student. We try to tailor their Beach School education to the particular needs of each student. That collaborative effort involves everyone in the school, plus the community. Whether it’s the boat captain taking our kids on a field trip or PTO co-President Kim West heading up the Book Battle program, our community is very involved in the success of our students here.” When asked about testing and the current trend away from standardized testing, Wood explained that his teachers support tests that provide useful information on exactly where a child is and what they need. If a test doesn’t provide useful information, teachers shy away from them. But tests that offer results that teachers can use to help a student are ok with Beach teachers. Summing up the reason for Beach School’s academic success year after year, Wood praised his staff and the community. “All the attention our students get from staff and the community makes the difference. It all pays off over time – that personal attention to individual students pays off. I brag about my staff and community all the time because they are one of the primary reasons for our students’ success.”

Principal Wood did confirm that he would be retiring at the end of this school year after 10 years as Beach School’s Principal and 44 years in education. Two Beach School teachers are also retiring: 1st grade teacher Cathy Smith (formerly Goodacre-Lee), with 28 years teaching experience and Professional Development Resource Educator Kathy Brindise with 30 years in the Lee County District, 36 in education.

Missy Layfield

Page 5The Island Sand PaperApril 15th, 2016

U.S. and the Dominican Republic comprised of the subsidiaries Domino Sugar, Florida Crystals, C & H Sugar, Zing Stevia, Redpath Sugar, Tate & Lyle European Sugar, La Romana International Airport and resorts near La Romana, Dominican Republic. Florida Crystals is one of the largest sugar growers in Florida. How did it work: In response to floods caused by hurricanes in 1947, the Army Corps of Engineers established the Central and Southern Florida Flood Control Project (C&SF) - building 1,400 miles of pumps, dikes and levees between the 1950s and 1971 that were used to create the Everglades Agricultural Area (EAA) and keep what was once the swampy northern part of the Everglades dry for farming. Below it, to serve as a water source for the teeming masses of people living on Florida’s southeast coast, lie the reservoirs known as Water Conservation Areas (once the middle part of the swamp), which is bordered by a massive north-south levee to keep the coast swamp-free. The only part of the Everglades allowed to remain natural was the southern part, created in 1947 as the Everglades National Park (ENP). In the wet summer months, excess water that would have flooded Lake Okeechobee and the EAA is drained away, some to the Water Conservation Areas (still a swamp) where it floods and drowns the wildlife there. The rest is pumped into canals connected to both the Caloosahatchee and St. Lucie rivers, sending several

hundred billion gallons a year of phosphorous-laden fresh water to the saltwater estuaries at the mouths of both rivers. This ‘nutrient pollution’ wrecks havoc with the delicate ecosystems there, killing fish, oysters, crabs and tourism. Meanwhile, the Everglades National Park received virtually no water except what fell there or pumped from farms in the EAA. The environmental movement being a relatively new phenomenon in this country, the first time the degradation of the Everglades became an issue was in the early 1970’s, when a proposal to build a jetport in the Big Cypress Swamp was challenged and denied. In 1983, newly elected Governor Bob Graham began the ‘Save Our Everglades’ campaign and, in 1986, lifted the first shovel to ‘undo’ the first C&SF project disaster – a canal that drained the Kissimmee River basin. As far as local water quality, that went relatively unchecked until 1986, when an algal bloom covering 1/5 of Lake Okeechobee was discovered to be the result of fertilizers coming from the EAA. This prompted a young U.S. Attorney named Dexter Lehtinen - fresh from indicting Manuel Noriega - to sue the South Florida Water Management District (SFWMD) and the Florida Department of Environmental Protection (DEP) over violations of water quality standards – particularly from phosphorous – in the ENP. Big Sugar responded defending the status quo and the Water War began.

First was the 1992 presidential campaign, when Big Sugar poured millions into both Bush’s and Clinton’s coffers. When Clinton got elected, Alfy Fanjul met with Clinton’s new interior secretary, Bruce Babbitt, and persuaded him to turn the Everglades lawsuit back over to the state. The sugar industry began an all-out blitzkrieg on Florida, complete with an all-star lobbying team and big money media campaign to convince voters the phosphorous problem was overblown, along with thinly veiled threats that the EAA would be sold to developers if sugar were forced out. All of that resulted in the Everglades Forever Act, a controversial cleanup bill that was signed into law by Governor Lawton Chiles in 1994. The law capped industry cleanup costs at $320 million and saddled taxpayers with the rest (some $700 million). It also prevented nutrient-polluted water from being sent into the ENP, created the Stormwater Treatment Areas (STA) and lowered phosphorous levels, thus settling the lawsuit. It set the cleanup deadline at 2006, at which point state officials, not federal scientists, would determine the allowable phosphorous level. Other efforts in the 90’s met worse fates – a proposed ‘polluter’s tax’ was defeated at the ballot box in 1996 after another Big Sugar media campaign, and a phase-out of the sugar subsidy that was included in the Farm Bill of 1995 was ultimately dropped. A quote from Republican Senator Larry Craig of Idaho (who received $59,602 from sugar that

year) summed it up, “I ain’t no Johnny Cochran, but I can defend the sugar program.” After a study – commissioned by then-Governor Lawton Chiles - on the effects of the C&SF was completed in 1999, Congress finally passed the Comprehensive Everglades Restoration Plan (CERP) in 2000 and work began - though the plan has been fraught with funding and political problems. In 2004, then-Governor Jeb Bush launched a program called Acceler8 that was designed to kick-start CERP projects, and in 2011 the Central Everglades Planning Project was created to identify projects within CERP. Creating projects and funding projects are two different things in Washington, D.C. While CEPP did not make it into the Water Resources Development Act (WRDA) that was approved by Congress last December, Senator Bill Nelson assured Floridians last month that it would be included by this summer. So while some progress has been made since the 1988 Lehtinen lawsuit, many things have not changed. Every time the water flowing to the east and west coast turns brown, there is a public outcry. The Island Sand Paper has covered water quality issues from its founding in 2001. During a brown water period in 2004, Sand Paper Production Manager Mark List traveled up the Caloosahatchee River to Lake Okeechobee and the surrounding areas to document

The History of the South Florida Water Wars, Cont’d from pg.1

Cont’d pg.29

Page 6 The Island Sand Paper April 15th, 2016

Grand Resorts Proposal Tabled, Cont’d from pg.3

it appears that he (Torgerson) has clearly heard that his vision is not that of the Town’s,” Boback said. “He had a beautiful project, but Fort Myers Beach is just not the place

for the size and scope of it. And, since he says he’s taken Crescent Beach Park off the table I suspect that he heard something negative from Lee County about acquiring

it as that is a county park. As far as his future plans, it’s really hard to predict but I’m sure that we can help him come up with something that’s financially viable for him and good for both him and the Town.” Cereceda said her biggest concern is that the Town may have lost the opportunity to realign Estero to help the town’s traffic problem. “We’ve been talking about that for 20 years – I hope we haven’t lost that though I suspect we have,” she said. “I’m just hopeful that whatever it is that he eventually brings to us that we – as a community – have the wherewithal to have a conversation about the future of our downtown. The whole town – not just the businesses and residents of that area – needs to have that discussion. This opportunity we have with Tom is a unique one.”

Keri Hendry Weeg

Guest Opinion: Too Much Secrecy in

Government

We have a secrecy problem. This may seem odd to say during an era in which the most intimate details of individuals’ lives are on display. Yet government is moving behind closed doors, and this is definitely the wrong direction. In fact, I’m dismayed by how often public officials fight not to do the public’s business in public. City and town councils regularly go into executive session to discuss “personnel issues” that might or might not truly need to be carried on outside public view. At the state level, lawmakers exempt themselves from public records laws, underfund public watchdogs, and exempt lobbying expenditures from sunshine laws. Meanwhile, contributors to federal campaigns increasingly manage to avoid disclosure of their political activities. Government contractors are not subject to most of the transparency rules that affect federal agencies. Federal inspectors general face constant efforts to limit their access to records. Routine information is classified and kept secret. Members of Congress increasingly rely on omnibus spending bills — which are put together behind closed doors by a handful of leaders and congressional staff with no public scrutiny. Most notably, of course, secrecy extends to national security issues. There are some government secrets that are necessary to protect, and a balance has to be struck between protecting national security and openness. But those who favor secrecy should make their case in public and not rely on the old adage, “Trust me.” Openness is not a panacea, but it makes good government more likely. Representative democracy depends on our ability to know what’s being done in our name. We cannot exercise the discriminating judgment required of citizens about politics, policies and politicians if we do not know what they’re doing. Nor is it possible to maintain the checks and balances required under our Constitution without openness and transparency. We have to shine a bright light on the actions of public officials so that it’s more likely they’ll act with integrity. Justice Louis Brandeis gave perhaps the most famous formulation of this requirement in his 1913 statement, “[S]unlight is said to be the best disinfectant.” But Judge Damon Keith of the Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals put an exclamation point on the idea in a 2002 ruling that the government could not carry out secret deportation hearings without proving the need for secrecy. “Democracies,” he wrote, “die behind closed doors.”

Lee H. HamiltonLee Hamilton is a Senior Advisor

for the Indiana University Center on Representative Government. He

was a member of the U.S. House of Representatives for 34 years.

Page 7The Island Sand PaperApril 15th, 2016

Retirement means different things to different people. To Marty, it has opened up his time to pursue his love of musical instruments, to put into play his extensive knowledge about wood and old tools, and to indulge in his incredible ability to learn very complicated processes needed to fabricate and build these things for his own pleasure.

Marty and his wife Cindy put stakes down on the island in 1992. Both were born and raised in Northern Indiana, and they make the trek between that home and this one every year - not an unusual story in our community. But instead of hitting the golf course, or going out for happy hour every night, Marty can be found in his workshop beneath his island home, creating and restoring guitars, mandolins, old rifles, and many of the tools needed to do these projects. Cindy says they are really happy with their choice to create their second home on the island. “Life in Indiana can be stressful. We grew up there and we know everybody. Marty’s so talented in

all he does that people pull him in all directions.” One can imagine that Marty’s skills and expertise would be in great demand, and that he would have a hard time turning down his friends when there is an opportunity to build or repair something. Cars, guitars, guns, plumbing, electrical issues - if anything breaks down, anyone who knows him is going to call him. But

here on the island, says Cindy, “he has a nice shop and he can spend all day working on his stuff with very little interruption.” But Marty does have a shop up in Indiana. “It was an up-and-running bowling alley back in the late forties,” but by the time Marty bought it, it was ready for repurposing. Where his island shop is jammed to the rafters with wood, tools, instruments and more wood, the Indiana shop, measuring 50 x 120 feet, is also jammed to the rafters with even more wood, and every other thing Marty decides to pick up at flea markets, auctions, along the roadside, and things his friends and neighbors don’t want anymore. “When we bought the

bowling alley, I wanted to produce a half-hour reality show called “Man’s World”, and I wanted to get all my crazy buddies to come over there. There’s an old hot rod, an old motorcycle… I never throw anything away. I thought people would be tuning in every week to see ‘what those lunatics are up to’. It would be next to impossible to describe the processes Marty goes through to create the instruments he has built from scratch, or rescued from broken-down oblivion. The circa 1800’s George Washburn mandolin he bought in pieces at auction has been fully restored to its original elegance. There are drawers and racks full of what Marty calls ‘old-time tools’, many of which were

brought back into full function after years of disuse or disrepair. There are tools he made himself, designed after those clamps and planes and spoke shaves of yore, which he uses regularly when building guitars, or restoring things like his grandpa’s old shotgun. “My grandpa dropped it and cracked the stock,” and there were parts missing on the old muzzleloader. He researched exactly how the gun and all its parts were made, and was happy to show which pieces of wood he had used for the stock, and a metal part he fashioned out of a discarded pipe from a neighbor’s house. His knowledge about the design and history of these old shotguns is extensive. One comes to see that not only does Marty do beautiful work, he understands how things work. He researches and he asks those who know. “I’m a firm

believer that if you don’t know how to do something, then find someone who does and watch them.” He adds, “You can find anything on the Internet.” The guitar Rossiter built last year is a gem. Like all of his projects, he invested a lot of time and love into it. It represents months of work. “I took four days just fashioning the rosette around the sound hole,” inside of which is signed ‘Martin Thomas Rossiter, 2015’. At the top of the neck, above the tuning pegs, are the initials MTR. If you are lucky enough to hear this beauty, crafted mainly from a variety of native woods like Florida mahogany and curly eucalyptus, then you will appreciate the incredible quality of an expertly made instrument. This

guitar is beautiful to look at and a joy to play. Although Marty doesn’t get to play guitar as much as he did years ago, he and some island friends get together regularly and play when they can. “All my life I have been pretty artistic in my mind, but I was so burned out with the concrete business. Now I’m free from all that. I can sit down here all day in my workshop and work on whatever I want.” If ‘sitting in his workshop all day’ produces such exquisitely crafted instruments and tools, then it would seem that many more folks than just Marty and Cindy Rossiter are reaping the benefits of Marty’s hard-earned retirement.

Jo List

Front page photo Jo ListAll other photos Cindy Rossiter

Islander Spotlight: Marty Rossiter – Luthier, Cont’d from pg.1

Page 8 The Island Sand Paper April 15th, 2016

10th Annual Fort Myers Beach Film Festival, Cont’d from pg.1

Schulman; “The Hanging Millstone” from director Curtis Collins; and “Ring” by Karen Whitaker. Judy Copeland stars in “The Bright Side” as well as “Happy Family.” Local Films will be shown Wednesday April 20th at 7:30 p.m. Student projects, crucial to the future of the arts, take center-stage Friday April 22nd at 6:30 p.m. These include “The Frontman” from Matthew Gentile; David Bertran’s “Coming to Terms,” and Kevin Moody’s “Distracted.” A highlight are films made by the Beach Elementary School children at a free session on Sunday April 24th at 3 p.m. “There is nothing as exciting as when the kids see their own movies on the big screen,” says Carla. What would a day at the movies be without Hollywood glamor! Robert Redford, Kim Basinger, and Barbara Hershey, stars of the classic baseball movie, “The Natural,” naturally star in a documentary about it entitled, “The Natural: The Best There Ever Was.” “Is That a Gun in Your Pocket?” is a small town Texas battle of the sexes where women band together to boycott sex to rid their town of guns, starring Cloris Leachman and John Heard. Melissa Gilbert and Timothy Busfield headline the family comedy “One Smart Fellow,”

with Susan Blakely in “Hungry Hearts” about a young chef who caters a party for four women who have a surprise for him. Carla feels one highlight will be the documentary “The Show Must Go On: An Intimate Portrait of The Flying Wallendas” on Thursday April 21st at 6 p.m. “It chronicles the famous high wire family, in what most think is a glamorous and wealthy lifestyle, but this film beautifully shows their struggles with anxiety performance issues, diminishing audiences, and a vanishing way of life. It is gripping, and our honor to host Tino and Alex Wallenda at the screening.” As this is the 10th Fort Myers Beach Film Festival, Carla calls it is the perfect time to reshow some of its previous most-influential films, describing it as “a celebration of our past, present, and future.” Among these are “The Descending,” Kyle Thompson’s psychological thriller from 2012, and 2014’s “Tough Ain’t Enough: Conversations with Albert S. Ruddy” about the legendary producer’s struggles to make some of our most iconic television shows and movies. “The fan favorite every year is the free family movie on Friday evening on the beach in front of The Outrigger,” Carla says. “This year is Disney’s award-winning 3D

computer animated comedy-drama adventure ‘Inside Out’ that begins at sunset at roughly 7:45 p.m. Please do not park at The Outrigger, but at the nearby bank lot and make the short walk to the beach.” A Film Review Board juries the Festival. “They are local volunteers from varied backgrounds,” Carla explains. “While their decisions are always difficult, their jobs are easier now than when we first started out due to digital advances. In the beginning they literally passed back & forth film cans!” The Awards Presentation is Sunday at 2 p.m., with screenings of the Best Feature Film and People’s Choice Award-winners following at 5 p.m. The Festival hosts Friday and Saturday workshops. “The Friday forum covers how to develop your own independent films,” Carla offers. “Saturday’s program has two parts: how to turn a short into a feature, kind of like how you expand a poem into a novel, and a retrospective on the Festival’s 1st decade, including ‘where are they now’.” Friday’s workshop is $30-per-person, with Saturday at $40, and each includes lunch. Admission is $7 per screening. “Don’t worry that some movies are brief while others

are feature-length,” Carla says. “We package three or four of the shorts together so that everything balances. No matter which session you select, you get your money’s worth.” There is a $150 VIP Pass that includes all activities and events as well as Friday’s workshop. Organizers still need volunteers and donated items for the “Swag Bags. Carla describes these as gifts for each filmmaker so that “they leave Fort Myers Beach with items from Fort Myers Beach. This is a benefit of living in a small community – everyone works together to support the arts.” To view the screening schedule, purchase tickets or VIP Passes, volunteer, donate to the “Swag Bags,” or for any other information go to fmbfilmfest.com. “The Fort Myers Beach Film Festival attracts fans and filmmakers from all across the nation, to share their compelling and interesting creations” concludes Carla. “The best part is the unknown you see today will be the international superstar 10 years from now. In a sense, we help these artists to find and hone their better selves, and that is exciting. See you at the movies!”

Gary Mooney

Film Fest Volunteers, Jo List and Amanda Parke getting the popcorn ready for the movie on the beach by the Outrigger. This year is Disney’s award-winning 3D computer animated comedy-drama adventure ‘Inside Out’ that begins at sunset at

roughly 7:45 p.m. Parking will be at the bank parking lot across the street.

Page 9The Island Sand PaperApril 15th, 2016

Local businesses and the Chamber of Commerce are engaged in efforts to raise funds for 4th of July fireworks on Fort Myers Beach and have announced two upcoming events to help fill the coffers. Recently the Town Council, facing cancellation of the popular event due to lack of community fundraising, decided to extend the deadline for community participation to May and asked the community to raise $25,000 which they will match. Local business-owners jumped into the fray, soliciting other business-owners for donations. Jackie Liszak, owner of Sea Gypsy, Andrea Carriere, Silver Sands owner and John Lallo, Pete’s Time Out owner have joined with Bud Nocera, President of the Fort Myers Beach Chamber of Commerce to focus local fundraising efforts. One of those fundraisers will take place at Tuckaway Café, 1740 Estero Blvd on Saturday, April 23 when owners Tre and Amy Gillette have pledged to donate 50% of that day’s sales to the fireworks effort. Tuckaway is open from 7am-2pm daily, so there’s good reason to stop by at least twice on the 23rd to do your part for fireworks. Lani Kai’s owner Bob Conidaris is working on a big bash to support the fireworks effort, with a silent auction, music, food and loads of fun on Saturday, May 14th. Details are still being ironed out, so watch for more information. “So far our fundraising has exceeded our expectations,” said Nocera. “People are eager to help with the effort. The entire island is coming together. Santini Plaza’s Al and Kathy Durrett have made a commitment, as have many other island businesses throughout the island.” Advanced Disposal has stepped up with the donation of a 30-yd dumpster as well as cardboard trash containers and liners for the downtown area for the 4th of July event.

PARADE AT RISK ALSO It’s not just the fireworks that are in jeopardy. The parade is also at risk, though for a different reason – road construction. Construction officials estimate that the center of Estero Boulevard will be torn up during the installation of the drainage system in early July. They hesitate to adjust that schedule as each delay bumps completion back further, something no one wants. Beach businesses were recently polled by the Chamber and 60% of them indicated that the 4th of July parade is very or extremely important to their business that day. “This is a big shot in the arm for businesses at a time of year when we really need it,” Jackie Liszak said. “People come for the parade in the morning, then stay all day. They typically get a hotel room, and spend lots of money at local bars and restaurants. It’s a really important weekend for us and helps businesses get through the summer.” Suggestions have been made to alter the parade route, limit it to golf carts or walking entrants. The 4th of July parade is on the Town Council’s Monday, April 18th 6:30pm meeting agenda. Lee County’s parade suggestions are included in the meeting packet available on the Town’s website. They include putting the parade floats in the southbound lane in the center lane construction zone closure areas, along with limiting parade viewing to the northbound side only, across the closed center lane. Candy-throwing would not be allowed in the center lane construction zones. Those center lane closure areas in early July are projected to be near the center of the project zone. Floats would be limited to 8 feet wide and could not be elevated above the truck or trailer bed due to grade transitions – no second levels or elevated terraces on floats. The County and the reFreshFMB project coordinators were unable to estimate how much

the Town would have to pay for the extra costs to accommodate the parade. Anyone interested in contributing to the fireworks fund may send a check payable to FMB Fireworks Fund to: FMB Chamber of Commerce, 1661 Estero Blvd. Suite 8, Fort Myers Beach, FL 33931. People can also visit the Facebook page at FMB Fireworks Fund and the GoFundMe account under the same name. For more information, email Jackie at jacquelee99@gmail.com. Do your part to help assure that fireworks are part of the Island’s 4th of July celebration, stop by Tuckaway on April 23rd and stay tuned for more fundraisers.

Missy Layfield

Funds for Fireworks

Photo Sally Scanlon

Page 10 The Island Sand Paper April 15th, 2016

In 1996, Lee County voters overwhelmingly approved a program that would levy 0.5 mils (about $50 per $100,000 of assessed property value) on their property tax bills to pay for the purchase and maintenance of environmentally sensitive lands for conservation. Though the initial ballot language included a provision for the program to sunset in 7 years, the Board of Lee County Commissioners (BoCC) kept it going due to its popularity. That could all change this year, however, because in February the BoCC voted 4-1 (Frank Mann dissenting) to put the issue to the voters once more. Conservation 2020 began in 1994 when a land-use study determined that only 10% of Lee County was set aside for the purpose of conservation. Statewide, the average for counties was 21%. Since this was at a time when Lee’s population was exploding and development rampant, a group of concerned citizens launched a grass roots effort to acquire 20 percent of Lee lands by the year 2020. In 1996, a voter referendum passed overwhelmingly and now, at it’s 20th anniversary, the program has spent more than $300 million to acquire, restore, conserve about and maintain 24,931 acres – a little less than 5% of Lee’s 520,629 acres. Including state and federal programs, Lee County currently has about 21% of its land in conservation. While remaining popular, the program has not been without controversy.

In 2012, following an accusation from then Clerk of Courts Charlie Green that the county was spending too much on purchasing land for the program and a legal opinion from the County Attorney, the Board put the .5 mils back into the General Fund and used the approximately $26 million collected to balance the budget. This prompted a public outcry and the appointment of a Blue Ribbon Committee to improve the program, resulting in an ordinance in early 2013 amending the Conservation Land Acquisition and Stewardship Advisory Committee (CLASAC) to include recommendations such as requiring a third appraisal should the first two differ by more than 20% and bringing all land acquisition decisions before the BoCC. CLASAC is the advisory committee charged with reviewing lands proposed for the program. Last year commissioners once again changed the scope of the program when the Board began focusing on properties that improve water quality and quantity

and allowed for the purchase of development rights. This drew the ire of some environmentalists – including former Lee County Commissioner Ray Judah, a big proponent of the program. “The Board is now considering further evisceration of the 2020 program by changing the focus of a land conservation program to a water quality program,” Judah said in July of 2015. “Prior to the shortsighted decision by the County Commissioners in 1991 to repeal the Water Conservation Utility, the County had a program in place to fund maintenance and restoration of waterways that would ensure compliance with state and federal water quality standards. The Lee County Commission should consider the most cost effective and resourceful means of reinstituting the water conservation utility versus undermining the Conservation 2020 program to comply with water quality mandates.” While supporters like Mann

claim the program’s popularity makes holding another referendum unnecessary and could put the successful program at risk, other commissioners disagreed and decided to put the issue back to the voters in November. Now county staff is working on how the language will read on the ballot, and public input is being taken. The county attorney’s first draft of ballot language reads as follows: “Do you approve of Lee County continuing to use general revenue funds to acquire, restore, improve, and manage land for conservation, surface water management, water quality, water recharge and supply, flood control, wildlife habitat, passive public recreation, and open space purposes, as an essential government function, pursuant to Lee County Ordinance 15-08 (Commonly known as the Lee County Conservation 20/20 Land Program)?” CLASAC’s recommended wording, as vetted by the county attorneys, will come back to the county commission for final approval at a future meeting. While that date has yet to be set, the county has until June to come up with the exact wording of the ballot question. The BoCC is taking public input on the wording of the ballot question, and readers can submit their ideas/concerns to colson@leegov.com.

Keri Hendry Weeg

Conservation 2020 Returns to Voters in November

6 Mile Cypress Boardwalk

Page 11The Island Sand PaperApril 15th, 2016

Your Hometown Newspaper for over 15 years

Missy Layfield - EditorThe only people who can change the world are people who want to. And not everybody does. Hugh Macleod

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EditorialBAY OAKS

DEATH BY A THOUSAND CUTS Our Town’s government calls for the voters of the Town to elect 5 council members. Those council members elect a mayor. The council is responsible for the hiring of a Town Manager, who is provided an approved budget and is in charge of hiring, firing and the general functioning of the town. It’s important to understand that the town manager controls the day-to-day functioning of the town. Department directors and staff report to the manager, not the council. Voters just approved a charter amendment (#12) that clarifies that council members must work though the manager and any interference directly with staff constitutes grounds for recall. It’s become apparent in the last few months that our manager is desperately seeking ways to lower the costs of running our town and has set his sights on Bay Oaks as one way to do that. In the last month Bay Oaks has lost a director and several key employees. Fired, allowed to resign or left of their free accord, we’re not going to quibble on the manner of their leaving, though encouraging their departure would play into some larger plan if someone were trying to weaken Bay Oaks. There are no signs that any effort is being made to hire for any of those positions. Remaining staff are working hard to spread the duties of the departed staff among the remaining staff. Most of us have found ourselves in that sort of position in our work life. How well does that work out, especially as weeks turn into months of covering those duties? Meanwhile, the group of citizens tasked with advising council on Bay Oaks, Bay Oaks Recreational Campus Advisory Board or BORCAB, was a victim of council’s inability to decide what to do about advisory boards last fall. They weren’t sure which boards were helpful to them, and we suspect, didn’t especially like citizen boards that might disagree with them. But rather than make a decision to eliminate one or more of these citizen advisory boards, they did what council does a little too often – kick the can down the road. They made no appointments to BORCAB in October, and the membership of BORCAB dropped by about half as a result. Then followed several months of no meetings for what BORCAB members remained. They may not have meant to send this message, but what residents heard was that council was not interested in citizen advisory board input on Bay Oaks. As residents learned of the departure of Parks & Rec Director Randy Norton and other staff, and heard about a proposal to close half of the Bay Oaks gym to create a storage garage for Town vehicles, they asked council to save Bay Oaks and reinstate BORCAB. Recently council did reappoint the BORCAB members that should have been reappointed last October. Last week they held their first meeting of 2016. Our town manager has stated several times that he does not think that BORCAB should have any input into decisions regarding what happens to Bay Oaks until after staff and council has developed a plan. Council disagreed with him, seemingly understanding what ‘advisory’ means and how important citizen input is to how our Town functions. At their recent meeting, BORCAB heard again that one option still on the table for Bay Oaks is to close half the gym to provide vehicle storage space. BORCAB members were just as horrified at that prospect as council had been. The town manager persists in keeping it on the table. One complaint offered frequently is how expensive Bay Oaks is to run. How it doesn’t bring in enough money to cover its costs. Municipal rec centers are not moneymakers. Anywhere. They are a service to the residents of the community. This is one of the things residents pay taxes for. Does Public Works bring in enough money to cover their costs? No, but those costs are covered by the taxes we all pay. They provide a service that residents want. Why should Bay Oaks be treated differently? Bay Oaks is not a luxury gym or spa, it’s a basic rec center that provides important services to the residents of our island, especially families and seniors. Summer camp, after school care, flag football, basketball, pickleball, yoga, exercise…the list of what is offered through Bay Oaks is long. At least it has been long. With fewer staff, that is bound to change. One sure way to damage a program is to remove staff and not replace them. As staff drops, programs are sure to suffer. Participation will then lag. And then as sure as the sun rises in the east, we’ll be hearing about how poorly Bay Oaks programs are doing, people aren’t using it; it’s not worth the money the town spends on it. You can’t cut off the water supply and then complain that the grass is brown. Removing staff and not replacing them is just another blow to Bay Oaks. Death by a thousand cuts. Can we live without Bay Oaks? Sure we can, but do we want to? What would its absence mean to the quality of life on Fort Myers Beach? The primary questions Fort Myers Beach residents need to ask themselves are - Do you want to have Bay Oaks Rec Center remain a part of our community? Do you think it’s important to our quality of life? If your answers are yes, you’d best speak up now because while there are denials aplenty about how no one Is proposing doing away with Bay Oaks, the “options” our manager is intent in keeping on the table will surely cripple it. If council does want to keep Bay Oaks as a vibrant community center, they need to send a very clear message to the manager now, because it seems he’s looking for ways to balance the budget on the backs of our kids’ and seniors’ programs at Bay Oaks.

Missy Layfield

Bob Layfield - PublisherA ship in port is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for. Grace Murray Hopper

Page 12 The Island Sand Paper April 15th, 2016

We learned a few new things as town officials discussed potential futures for the Bay Oaks Rec Center this week at a Bay Oaks Advisory Board meeting, and confirmed some things we already knew. The members of the Bay Oaks Rec Campus Advisory Board (BORCAB) are all supporters and lovers of Bay Oaks. Who else would surrender big blocks of their time to meet and talk about what goes on at the center and how it can be done better? Some of these people have been doing it for 20 years. Thank you to chair Betty Simpson, vice-chair Rae Sprole, Tom Myers, Becky Bodnar, Janna Holmes, Dave Anderson and Denise Monahan. These folks and newly elected council member Tracey Gore, the new BORCAB Liaison to council, had hard questions for town manager Don Stilwell and administrative services director Maureen Rischitelli. Rischitelli is developing a report on current Bay Oaks activities, functions and costs to take to Town Council on May 2. Stilwell said that report would include three or four options for council to consider. Some options may not make it that far. Gore said she wants to take some of the more extreme possibilities – like using part of the gym building for Public Works equipment storage - off the table. Stilwell said he’d hate to take any option off the table before council sees the report. Monahan brought up the Public Works vehicle storage rumor, saying she hoped it was simply a rumor to be squashed. Stilwell said that since ‘we

have two gyms’ at Bay Oaks and the town needs room for public works vehicles it’s a concept worth exploring. Sprole interjected the building is all one gym – there are two basketball courts in one large space – that’s routinely used as a single space. Stilwell said all too often the gym is lightly used. “It’s something staff has to look at,” he said. “We can’t just say it’s sacrosanct because it’s always been a gym.” Storing vehicles and equipment at Bay Oaks would also free-up space at Town Hall, Stilwell said. Simpson wondered whether the town needs all that new equipment, noting that selling some of it off would also free up space – as well as money. Stilwell said that’s being looked at, too. Both Sprole and Monahan were upset such an option would even be considered. Gore said that option is one she can bring up at a council meeting and squash it, a move Stilwell said would be ‘unfortunate’. BORCAB members said they want to make sure the plan for Bay Oaks’ future is community-generated, not a ‘top-down’ plan from town staff. They said comparisons should not be made to what the facility was when the town took it over because Lee County had ‘stripped Bay Oaks to the bare bones’ before the transition. Gore and Stilwell also crossed when she started discussing staffing, asking whether Bay Oaks would be better off with a single person in charge. Since the former parks and rec director was fired a few weeks ago other employees have stepped in to keep

things going. “This is where we get in trouble with micro-managing,” Stilwell said. “That’s really a staff responsibility.” “It’s the community’s responsibility to make sure it’s done right,” Gore shot back. They’re both right. Stilwell works for Town Council. Town staffers work for him, and staffing decisions are his to make. Rischitelli said she’s identifying activities as either core services, enhanced services or lifestyle services. She said she’s determining real costs for existing programs and activities. She said Bay Oaks tried to provide so many different services and programs that the quality of the services have suffered. “We’ve sliced the pie so thin that programs have suffered,” she said. Stilwell said that report would be an early step in the budget process. He said the projected cost for operating Bay Oaks had been around $300,000 when the town took it over, but said it’s exceeded $800,000. The town parks and rec budget is a little over $800,000. Town documents from before the current study listed as much as $240,000 in revenue to offset that cost. Stilwell said he believes the town will have to ‘refocus’ Bay Oaks on core services. Rischitelli said she realizes attaching a dollar number to many programs

is difficult, because the programs themselves have value beyond their price. “But we have to be honest about what the cost is and that we want to pay the cost,” she said. Time and again committee members and staffers decried the abounding rumors that Bay Oaks might be closed, rumors propped up by a fired parks and rec director, a lapsed 5-year plan and a 4-month sabbatical for BORCAB meetings while members awaited re-appointment. Stilwell said that’s never been discussed at any level. “Council makes the decision,” he said. “The town manager doesn’t decide.” The good thing, Simpson said, is that the rumors themselves have renewed community interest and support for Bay Oaks. He’s right again. The Town Council will decide. It will start deciding based on Rischitelli’s report and the options Stilwell presents. BORCAB members said they want to be involved in the evaluation, or at least get a chance to review and discuss it before it goes before council. BACA will be watching and reviewing the report as well.

Charlie WhiteheadPresident

Beach Area Civic Association

Guest Commentary: BACA Report Bay Oaks

Page 13The Island Sand PaperApril 15th, 2016

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Readers who like novels that are concisely written with no unnecessary words or phrases will welcome The Children Act by Ian McEwan (MCE). The focus in this beautiful prose work is Judge Fiona Maye, who in middle age, questions her choices over the years that have brought her to where she is today. She makes a professional decision that not only adds drama to the novel but enables the reader to also ask, ‘What would I have done? And would I have decided differently if the consequences had been known?’

When I started reading Otherwise Engaged by Amanda Quick (QUI), I was drawn into the story. The storyline has more of a mystery/suspense feel to it than romance, so in that sense, departs a bit from Quick’s earlier titles. Most readers will be able to connect many of the loose ends of the stories but

not see the total connection till the end.

The Possibilities, by Kaui Hart Hemmings (HEM), revolves around a grieving mother Sarah, three months after her son dies in an avalanche. She lives with her father, who is addicted to QVC shopping and is semi-retired. A girl appears on the scene and from there the story unwinds to how she knows the son. Both she and the son end up changing for the better in the process.

The discussions in The Heart of Zen: enlightenment, emotional maturity, and what it really takes for spiritual liberation, by Junpo Denis Kelly Roshi and Keith Martin-Smith (Philosophy, Buddhism, Kelly), seek to get at the gulf between our spiritual belief and our everyday life. The Q&A sessions with Zen Master Junpo enable the reader to digest many of the ideas step-by-step.

The explosive number of printed books, e-books and self-published titles makes it a challenge for a new author. In Think Like a Publisher: 33 Essential Tips to Write, Promote, and Sell Your Book by Randy Davila (English, Writing, Davila), he shares editorial, marketing and business tools and hints essential to having a chance of being noticed in the marketplace.

The compilation of voices in Sustainable Happiness: live

simply, live well, make a difference by Sarah Van Gelder and the staff of Yes! Magazine (Philosophy, Ethics, Sustainable), offer the reader fascinating research, in-depth essays and moving personal stories showing that real well-being is found in supportive relationships and the renewal we receive from a thriving natural world. There is much for reflection and challenge in this discussion.

Chef Ben Ford is known for attracting crowds to his feasts of enormous proportions--burgers for the block or a whole pig roast. Now, in Taming the Feast (Cookbooks, Entertaining, Ford), he offers his complete guide to outdoor grilling and roasting. One can use the hints and secrets offered for a family reunion or an intimate dinner for four. His suggestions also include a do-it-yourself primer for making simple custom outdoor cookers or a baking barrel or cinder-block oven.

Beth Moore calls her latest book Audacious (Religions, Christian Life, Moore), defining it as being “intrepidly daring, adventurous, bold, marked by originality and verve,” and raising some challenging questions for the believer, e.g. Honestly, can you say you love Him? or Honestly, not sure you want to trust Him? The layout of the narrative makes it easy to linger in the text.

The Flowers of Empire by Tatiana Holway (Gardening,

Holway) is a treasure for gardeners and historic plant lovers. Holway has written an engaging history of a water lily and the people and lives it touched, including a careful accounting of the technologies it advances and the events it prompted. The reader will be treated to far more knowledge that one might surmise from the title or even the dust jacket. Those with an appreciation for history or plants will find the writing concise and dotted with humor.

The Bear’s Sea Escape, by Benjamin Chaud, offers a delightful story for ages 3 to 5 as well as lush, detail-rich illustrations. Little Bear is included in each page and the reader gets to find him. The illustrations are refreshingly intricate, and even upon the second and third reading, one can find details and discoveries to be made in scanning the pages. The unobtrusive text below the pictures makes this a welcome read-aloud book.

For ages 4 to 8,author-illustrator Rob McClurkan’s Aw, Nuts! offers a story to delight. Squirrel sets off on a chase after the perfect acorn. The bold cartoon drawings enable children to enjoy the story even more. Words that phonetically resemble the source of the sound it describes makes it fun to read, and offers a chance to laugh.

Dr. Leroy HommerdingBeach Library Director

Library Treasures

Page 14 The Island Sand Paper April 15th, 2016

Life Face First: Negotiating One Calamity at a Time

Gifts from a Flood Last summer, I confronted the most burdensome, most onerous quandary of my adult life. After years of ignoring growing problems, I admitted that my seventeen-year-old Honda Civic was past repair, and it was time to (shudder) buy a new car. Naturally, I procrastinated as long as I could. When a sudden clanging from under the hood rendered procrastination no longer wise or even possible, I faced the inevitable. I went car shopping. On December 31, in a mild flash flood, I put on a hat, laced up my boots and ventured forth into the storm. I was the only shopper crazy enough to test drive cars in a flood. I figured I had nothing to lose (save possibly my life), and I could assess the car’s ability to handle inclement weather. Besides, it was the last day of the calendar year, and dealerships had just a handful of hours left to meet their sales goals. With showrooms empty of all shoppers except me, I was like an angel out of the storm -- an angel with preapproved financing. Sales managers across the eastern seaboard were offering me deals so good I could have bought two cars and had money to spare. Then I saw it. The car! It was a blue 2014 MINI Cooper with white racing stripes, heated leather seats, built-in Bluetooth and a turbocharger. It was sporty, fast and looked good with my favorite pair of shoes. I’m convinced that this car figured into my very conception thirty-seven-years ago. I wanted that car. I was going to get that car. And I was going to negotiate a price that only end-of-year sales goals, flash floods and divine intervention could produce. And that’s exactly what I did. I drove my shiny new-to-me car home proudly, if a bit perplexed. I’ve never had a car so nice. The MINI did things my old Civic would think out of science fiction. The blinker is automated to flash three times if you’re changing lanes, but stay on if you’re turning. Cruise control can be trimmed to the exact mile an hour you desire. The headlights turn themselves on (I’ve no idea where the button is to turn them on myself), and the windshield wipers set their speed to run according to how much moisture is on the windshield. In the Civic, I was just happy when stuff worked. It never occurred to me that blinkers and windshield wipers might have options. “It’s all a bit much,” I thought. Don’t get me wrong. I liked the features. I liked them a lot. I just wasn’t sure I needed them. Then last week, I borrowed my husband’s car to take our dog Starla to agility class. She was too nasty to ride in my new car on my leather seats. The blinker wasn’t automated, the seats didn’t heat up, the headlights didn’t turn themselves on and the cruise control didn’t work. “I don’t know how to drive this old crappy car,” I wailed to Starla. Turns out my new MINI isn’t a bit much after all. It’s exactly right, and what I imagined was a crisis was a gift in disguise, even if I had to survive a bit of flooding to receive it.

Nora Blithe

Nora Blithe is the author of the syndicated humor column “Life Face First.” Read her blog online at NoraBlithe.com.

Usually Stingray season is May through September. However, as witnessed by our own photographer while strolling with her daughter along our beach this week, they are definitely here NOW. They counted at least 25 from Bowditch to the Pier. So please, do the Stingray Shuffle, and be aware of these gorgeous creatures along our shores. (The stingray shuffle consists of shuffling your feet when in the water, no matter how shallow. Rays often lie just below the surface with a thin layer of sand over them, making them invisible, until you step on one. The vibrations from the shuffling will cause the rays to move away.) Photo by Sarah List.

Do the Stingray Shuffle

Page 15The Island Sand PaperApril 15th, 2016

Page 16 The Island Sand Paper April 15th, 2016

As the air and water temperatures rise, manatees have begun their annual migration from their winter homes to our bays and canals. This migration sets them on a collision course with watercraft and calls for extra caution on the part of everyone on the water. The Florida manatee is a native species found in many of Florida’s waterways. First listed as a federal endangered species in 1966, the Florida manatee population has grown to over 6,000 animals today. In 1975, Florida’s school children helped designate the endangered Florida manatee as Florida’ state marine mammal. Since then, various research, management and educational efforts have occurred to bring back a species that many people thought was on the verge of extinction. Continued support from thousands of people willing to purchase Save the Manatee specialty license plates or donate funds to the manatee program has allowed the state to develop

and administer what was, and is needed for management and research programs that protect and conserve Florida’s manatees for future generations to see and enjoy. Today, manatees are considered one of Florida’s keystone species whose behavior can alert researchers to the environmental and habitat changes that may otherwise go unnoticed in Florida’s waterways for extended periods of time.

FWC MANATEE MANAGEMENT

Florida manatees were first protected through Florida State Law in 1893. Manatees are now protected by the Florida Manatee Sanctuary Act and are federally protected by both the Marine Mammal Protection Act and the Endangered Species Act. The FWC continues to protect and conserve manatees and their habitat through several programs.

WATERCRAFT AND MANATEES

April 1st marked the beginning of seasonal manatee zones in Lee County bay waters that are enforced through November 15th. These protection zones are marked and a map of them can be found at myfwc.com/manatee. Approximately 25-30% of

manatee deaths statewide are attributed to watercraft – boats and personal watercraft. In recent years, manatee deaths caused by blunt-force impacts (non-cutting) have outpaced manatee deaths caused by propeller cuts, with a small portion of the deaths/injuries attributed to both causes. The faster a boat goes, the more force is applied to a “strike.” For instance, the force of a strike at 30 miles per hour is four times that of a strike at 15 miles per hour, all other factors being equal. If a watercraft strikes a manatee in the head, such as while the animal is taking a breath, the animal may die immediately. Strikes in other areas can result in acute injuries that quickly result in death but also can result in chronic injuries that linger for days, weeks, or longer before the manatee finally succumbs. Internal injuries, such as broken or dislocated ribs, can result in death from internal bleeding or infection.

WHEN BOATING OR OPERATING

A PERSONAL WATERCRAFT

▪ Abide by the posted speed zone signs while in areas known to be used by manatees or when observations indicate manatees might be present.▪ Wear polarized sunglasses to reduce glare on the surface of the water, which will enable you to see manatees more easily.▪ Try to stay in deep-water channels whenever possible.▪ Avoid boating over seagrass beds and shallow areas. Manatees are often found in shallow, slow-moving rivers, estuaries, lagoons and coastal areas.▪ Remain at least 50 feet away from a manatee when operating a powerboat.▪ Please don’t discard monofilament line, hooks or any other litter into the water. Manatees and other wildlife may ingest or become entangled in this debris and can become injured or even die.

WHAT TO LOOK FOR WHEN TRYING TO SEE

MANATEES? Observations may include a swirl on the surface caused by the manatee when diving; seeing the animals back, snout, tail, or flipper break the surface of the water; or hearing the animal when it surfaces to breathe.

To report a distressed or dead manatee:Wildlife Alert: 888-404-3922

State mobile: #FWC or *FWCText to: Tip@MyFWC.com

To help support manatee programs, the FWC is selling a manatee sticker, “Give Them Space” that can be purchased at Tax Collector offices for $5.

Information and photos provided by Florida Fish and Wildlife

Commission, www.myfwc.com

Manatees on the Move

Page 17The Island Sand PaperApril 15th, 2016

With the popular ‘Bike Nights’ in Cape Coral and Fort Myers now done for the season, what’s a biker to do for fun? Fortunately, Salty Sam’s Marketing Director RJ Snider has just the solution for that – last month he and Bootlegger’s Waterfront BBQ began hosting a Bike Night for the Fort Myers Beach area, and the response was so great that he plans on doing it all year long. “We have our car shows over at Parrot Key on the first Monday of every month, and they have gotten really popular, so I thought ‘why not do something at Bootleggers?’,” he told us. “Then when I heard that Cape Coral and Fort Myers only hold their Bike Nights during season, I knew I’d come up with the perfect idea.” Snider told us that he plans to hold Bootleggers’ Bike Nights on the third Saturday of every month, with the next one being this Saturday, April 16th. “We had our first one last month, and we had over 100 bikes – a number I expect will be much

higher this Saturday as we’ve been doing a lot of promotion for the event,” RJ said. The bikes will hang out in Bootleggers’ spacious parking lot, where Snider said he will set up a beer tent and have plenty of ‘biker games’ and prizes so everyone can have fun showing off their stuff. All the games are free for bikers who bring their bikes. “The event is from 5-9pm, with live music from 6-9pm from the Frankie Colt Duo,” he told us. “In

addition to what’s going on outside, inside Bootleggers we’re going have drink specials and, of course, great BBQ!” RJ says he has been talking to area bike clubs, and the response has been overwhelmingly positive. “This is something we really needed in this area as a lot of our bikers live here year round,” he said. “I’m expecting this to grow and grow.”

Keri Hendry Weeg

Bike Night Comes to BootleggersBeach Book Brief

Devil in the GrassChristopher BowronPublished March 1, 2016

New novelist Christopher Bowron gives yet another reason not to go in the swamp at night in this riveting, fast-paced tale of a young man and former collegiate football hero desperately trying to get his life back on track but finding himself getting stuck ever deeper in the Florida mud. Based in the Everglades and the back roads of south Florida, ‘Devil in the Grass’ offers a sinister but utterly mesmerizing take on some mysterious and unsavory old Florida families who helped settle the Sunshine State, the Seminoles who preceded them, and the clean water movement. Bowron’s roots stretch back four generations in historic ‘Niagara–on-the-Lake’, voted the prettiest town in Canada. His local roots stretch back pretty far too, as he grew up on Fort Myers Beach after his parents divorced, and he spent a fair amount of that time fishing and learning about the Everglades. ‘Devil in the Grass’ is his first book, and a sequel is already in the works, as well as another novel about the illegal sales of body parts. “It’s easier to write about the place you wish you were rather than the place you’re actually in, and I wanted my book to be based in reality but have a surreal aspect to make it an interesting story,” Bowron told us. “So I chose the Everglades and – since I’m a big fan of Gator football – I made the main character a football hero from the University of Florida.” Chris told us that he also found inspiration in Florida’s continuing issues with water releases from Lake Okeechobee, so much so that he is donating $1 from the sale of each book to Captains for Clean Water – a local non-profit raising money to educate people about the importance of finding a way to send the water south. ‘Devil in the Grass’ is available for sale – in hardcover, softcover and eBook version - at the author’s website c h r i s t o p h e r b o w r o n . c o m ; amazon.com, koehlerbooks.com indiebound.org and Books-A-Million, as well as at Annette’s Book Nook in Santini Plaza where he will be present for a book signing on Saturday, April 23rd from 10am-2pm.

Keri Hendry Weeg

Page 18 The Island Sand Paper April 15th, 2016

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Page 19The Island Sand PaperApril 15th, 2016

TRUMP’S ACCIDENTAL TRUTH FLIRTATION

Now that Donald Trump has decided to occasionally tell the truth, he might want to reconsider. It’s gotten him in all kinds of trouble.

The subject of abortion really twisted him in knots, first with a not-to-be-deflected Chris Matthews on MSNBC, who persisted in asking Trump whether his calls to make abortion illegal meant that the person who got one should be penalized. Trump’s reluctant acknowledgement that he believes she should receive “some sort of punishment” sent the political world, to say nothing of the social-media universe, into a storm of epic proportions. Never mind that his response made total sense; the bombs immediately started falling on him from all sides. Obviously, the abortion-rights advocates were slamming him, using him as a surrogate to attack the entire idea that society would deny a “woman’s right to choose.” But the anti-abortion forces also were horrified by his admission. They don’t particularly enjoy having the inescapable logic that of course females should be punished if terminating their pregnancy was against the law. It’s the doctors, they insist, who should face the consequences for what they describe as “murder.” Never mind that in homicide, the accomplice is just as guilty. Trump quickly did something he also never does: He beat a hasty retreat, racing out a statement that what he really meant is that the doctor should be prosecuted, not the female victim, who is somehow forced into the procedure. Again, he tripped over his words on abortion a couple of days later. This time, the highly skilled inquisitor was John Dickerson, moderator of CBS’s “Face the Nation.” Dickerson asked whether the laws about abortion were among the many he’d change. Again, Trump tried to tread carefully. Again, he stepped in it: “At this moment, the laws are set. And I think we have to leave it that way.” So, again, the anti-abortion leaders responded with such fury that he put out another sheepish clarification explaining he’d appoint judges who would un-set the laws. But the abortion blunders, in addition to other statements made about NATO and even nuclear bombs that have earned him ridicule of late, might be revealing another truth about Donald Trump: Is it possible he’s just not very bright, or not as smart as he tells us he is? He went to Wharton, after all, but how many people do we know who went to prestigious colleges and are dumber than a stump? Yes, he’s clearly very wealthy. But there are lots of rich people who are dim lightbulbs. It’s true that he’s succeeded in dominating the Republican presidential campaign and manipulating the media. But how much intellectual heft does that take? No doubt he’s a great showman, but there are a lot of clowns out there who are witless. He’s had tremendous appeal for those who are so fed up they don’t want to bother with nuance. His appeals to bigotry don’t take brilliance. Any fool can spew hatred. Let’s give him credit. He has certainly dominated the American -- make that the worldwide --conversation for months. But let’s not believe for a minute that he has the brainpower to be president. He’s way over his head. That’s the truth.

Bob Franken(c) 2016 Bob Franken

Distributed by King Features Synd.

DO NOT FEAR THE CHALK

Students at the University of Michigan called police the other day -- because someone had written Donald Trump’s name in chalk. No arrests were made. The episode is part of a nationwide trend of Trump supporters writing pro-Trump messages on sidewalks, stairs and other surfaces at college campuses, where fainting fits are sure to ensue. When they could get no relief from law enforcement, the University of Michigan students took it upon themselves to erase the offending messages -- including “Trump 2016,” “Build the Wall” and “Stop Islam” -- while fighting through feelings of betrayal. One student complained that there should be a special emergency number to call in such cases and said that the administration’s inadequate response “perpetuates these really racist and hateful stereotypes that turn into violence and turn into students of color feeling unsafe on campus.” Rarely before have a few scribblings been so traumatizing -- and written not even in ink or paint or some other difficult-to-remove substance, but in the same chalk used to mark out hopscotch courts and write temporary promotional messages about sorority mixers. That chalk messages can be considered tantamount to a physical threat captures the crisis of free speech on campus perfectly. Pro-Trump chalking took off after the reaction at Emory University, where some students were reduced to tears by the messages and said they felt “fear.” Protesters gathered at an administration building and let loose the antiphonal chant “You are not listening! Come speak to us, we are in pain!” This might have been an appropriate response if the kids had been tear-gassed, rather than seeing a positive phrase about a candidate that is supported by some significant plurality of the American public. The president of the school, James Wagner, promised to review security footage to try to identify the perpetrators, and in a statement full of campus-diversity jargon pledged, among other things, “immediate refinements to certain policy and procedural deficiencies” and “regular and structured opportunities for difficult dialogues.” How about striking an even greater blow for diversity and asking the kids to get over seeing an anodyne political message that they disagree with? To his credit, Wagner himself chalked “Emory stands for free expression,” a message that will evidently have trouble penetrating the formidable incuriosity of some of his students. The reaction to “the chalkening,” as it’s become known on social media, is a testament to the electric charge surrounding Trump. This branding isn’t prudent positioning for a general election, but it makes Trump a perfect vehicle for provoking the other side, and it’s in that thumb-in-the-eye spirit that the Trump chalking is spreading. The students getting the vapors over it don’t understand free expression or what it means to live in a free society, where you inevitably encounter people who have ideas and support candidates that you oppose. They hate Donald Trump. Fine. That is reason to argue and agitate against him, not to seek protection from any contact with supporters of his, no matter how tenuous. If they are having a hard time handling this election cycle, just imagine how Republican National Committee chairman Reince Priebus feels.

Rich LowryRich Lowry is editor of the National Review.

(c) 2016 by King Features Synd., Inc.

Viewpoints

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FINISH FIRST

As much as many American fans were pulling for Jordan Spieth to continue his spectacular play at Augusta, one can’t help but admire the humble beginnings of this year’s Masters Champion, Danny Willet. Willet’s quest for the green jacket started some four thousand miles away from the pristine greens of Augusta National. Sixteen years ago, at the age of 12, Willet and some friends had an idea to get kids off the street and give them something constructive to do. The idea was to start an inner-city golf program that took place next to a housing development in the northern England town of Sheffield. The pre-teen Willet had just been introduced to golf by his father on a family trip to Wales. His first real instruction came from Peter Ball, Willet’s first coach. Ball said he put in many hours, even after dark chipping and putting. Willet put years into improving his craft and quit college after only a month and headed to Jacksonville State University, where he dedicated everything to his golf game. Willet’s persistence to the sport paid off big last week as he returned to Britain having won the Masters for his first major championship title.

Willet is very close to his entire family. His wife just had a baby right before the Masters. Normally Masters winners from out of the country would stay and soak up the local fanfare, especially being a local college student, but he was anxious to get home to see his son, Zachariah. Willet’s brother, Paul, has become somewhat of a Twitter sensation, posting such comments as, “I will be able to say ‘I’ve shared a bath with a Masters winner’-brilliant.” While Spieth did win the silver, it probably wasn’t the greatest feeling to have to help Willet on with his green jacket. Had it not been for missing the middle of the green with his 9-iron on the par-3 12th hole, Spieth would have been in great position to win the jacket for the second year in a row.

NASCAR: KYLE BUSCH SWEEPS AGAIN

Kyle Busch has to be feeling pretty confident lately when he takes off in a restart of a NASCAR race. He took the lead after the final restart Saturday night, completing his second NASCAR weekend sweep in a row. It was the first time a driver accomplished the feat since Harry Gant in 1991(Richmond and Dover). After Busch won both the Xfinity race and the Sprint Cup race

last week, he did it for the second week in a row. In addition to winning his 80th Xfinity race on Friday night, he also got his 45th Camping World Truck Series victory. That is four consecutive NASCAR Series wins in an eight-day span. To top the weekend off, he got his second Sprint Cup victory in the Duck Commander 500 at Texas Motor Speedway. On lap 302, the first lap after the final restart, Busch went on the outside of turn #4 to skirt around Martin Truex Jr. for the lead. He led for the remaining 32 laps in his #18 JGR Toyota. This wasn’t one of those photo finishes fans have become accustomed to this season. Busch finished 4 seconds before Dale Earnhardt Jr. crossed the finish line. Joey Logano finished third behind Junior. Jimmy Johnson, who had won five of the last seven Texas races finished behind Logano in fourth. Johnson will have to wait until November to win on the track that he has dominated in the past. If he can win in the fall in Texas, it would be his fifth year in a row. It may be early to talk about points, but with the victory Busch took over the season points lead, and is now six ahead of Johnson and seven ahead of Kevin Harvick. Harvick, the previous points leader, finished tenth at Texas. To say Harvick hasn’t fared well at Texas is an

understatement. It’s one of only four tracks where he hasn’t won and is a dismal 0 for 27 there. In fifth, it was Earnhardt and Johnson’s Hendrick Motorsports teammate, Chase Eliot. Although he had qualified fourth, Elliot had to start at the back of the field after his #24 Chevy needed a transmission change. The fourth Hendricks driver to finish in the top 10 was Kasey Kahne at eighth. A couple of rain showers during the afternoon caused an hour and 50-minute delay to dry the track. The delay caused the first night race of the season to run into the early morning hours, ending a few minutes after midnight.Food City 500 at Bristol Motor Speedway in Bristol, TN is Sunday at 1:13pm

Mike Yost

NASCAR SPRINT CUP

1. Kyle Busch (18) 2592. Jimmie Johnson (48) 2533. Kevin Harvick (4) 2524. Carl Edwards (19) 2415. Joey Logano (22) 2346. Dale Earnhardt Jr. (88) 2117. Kurt Busch (41) 2088. Denny Hamlin (11) 2019. Brad Keselowski (2) 20110. Austin Dillon (3) 198

Page 21The Island Sand PaperApril 15th, 2016

PLEASESHOP

LOCALLY

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?Karl Marx: To seize the means of production and escape the alienation of the proletariat.

Sir Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

Groucho Marx: Chicken? What’s all this talk about chickens? Why I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt would have divorced him, but she needed the eggs.

Capt. James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Grandma: In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

Martha Stewart: A properly dressed chicken may cross the road, and that’s a Good Thing — but be sure to sell your chicken stock if you hear any rumors about oncoming traffic.

Bill Clinton: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. . . . It depends on what the meaning of ‘chicken’ is.

Marcel Marceau: “ ”

William Shakespeare : I don’t know why, but methinks I could rattle off a hundred-line soliloquy without much ado

Nancy Grace: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

Dr. Seuss : Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed it, I’ve not been told!

Colonel Sanders: “I missed one?”

Instructional Comics

How do you catch a Unique Rabbit? Unique Up on it!How do you catch a tame rabbit? Tame WayHow do you get holy water? You boil the hell out of it. What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall? Dam!What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? PolaroidsWhat do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work? A stickWhat do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese What do you call Santa’s helpers? Subordinate clausesWhat do you call four bullfighters in Quicksand? Quatro cincoWhat do you get from a pampered cow? spoiled milkWhat do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite

Page 22 The Island Sand Paper April 15th, 2016

For all tides go to www.saltwatertides.com

Tides • Matanzas Pass • Ft. Myers BeachDay High Tide Height Sunrise Moon Time % Moon /Low Time Feet Sunset Visible F 15 Low 2:57 AM 0.0 7:04 AM Set 3:04 AM 56 15 High 11:07 AM 1.8 7:52 PM Rise 2:31 PM 15 Low 2:47 PM 1.6 15 High 8:49 PM 2.2

Sa 16 Low 3:53 AM 0.1 7:03 AM Set 3:46 AM 66 16 High 11:31 AM 2.0 7:52 PM Rise 3:24 PM 16 Low 4:11 PM 1.3 16 High 10:17 PM 2.1

Su 17 Low 4:38 AM 0.2 7:02 AM Set 4:24 AM 75 17 High 11:53 AM 2.1 7:53 PM Rise 4:16 PM 17 Low 5:07 PM 1.0 17 High 11:22 PM 2.1

M 18 Low 5:15 AM 0.4 7:01 AM Set 5:00 AM 83 18 High 12:13 PM 2.2 7:53 PM Rise 5:07 PM 18 Low 5:50 PM 0.7

Tu 19 High 12:15 AM 2.1 7:00 AM Set 5:36 AM 89 19 Low 5:45 AM 0.5 7:54 PM Rise 5:58 PM 19 High 12:30 PM 2.3 19 Low 6:27 PM 0.5

W 20 High 1:00 AM 2.1 6:59 AM Set 6:10 AM 94 20 Low 6:11 AM 0.7 7:54 PM Rise 6:48 PM 20 High 12:45 PM 2.4 20 Low 7:00 PM 0.2

Th 21 High 1:40 AM 2.0 6:58 AM Set 6:45 AM 98 21 Low 6:34 AM 0.9 7:55 PM Rise 7:38 PM 21 High 1:00 PM 2.6 21 Low 7:32 PM 0.1

F 22 High 2:18 AM 2.0 6:57 AM Set 7:21 AM 99 22 Low 6:54 AM 1.0 7:55 PM Rise 8:29 PM 22 High 1:17 PM 2.7 22 Low 8:04 PM 0.0

Is that what that really means?

Once again The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words.The winners are:1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.9. Flatulence (n.), emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men

WEST

A British student was asked, “Why did you choose a college so far from home?” She explained that she’d fallen in love with the American West by watching Westerns. So when it came time to apply for colleges, she searched online for “Western Universities.” And that’s how she ended up at Western Carolina University.

MSW?! (MOM SAY WHAT?)Mom texts: Your great-aunt just passed away. LOLSon: Why is that funny?Mom: It’s not funny. What do you mean?Son: LOL means Laughing Out LoudMom: I thought it meant Lots of Love. I have to call everyone back.

Daughter: I got an A in Chemistry.Mom: WTF!Daughter: Mom, what do you think WTF means?Mom: Well That’s Fantastic!

Mom: What do IDK, LY & TTYL mean?Son: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later.Mom: OK, I’ll ask your sister.

GOOD MORNING After leaving the regulated life of the Navy, an old friend, a retired officer, took a civilian job, but had trouble getting to work on time. Finally his boss asked, “What would they have said to you in your previous job about being late?” My friend answered, “Good Morning, Admiral.”

LONG TIME Even though the toddler was having a furious tantrum, his mother was unfazed. “You may as well give up on the crying,” I heard her say as she led him to the store exit. ‘You’re stuck with me for 18 years.”

HOMEWORK The little girl’s class assignment was to interview an “old person” about their life, so she asked her aunt, “What’s the biggest historical event that happened during your childhood?” Her aunt replied, “I’d have to say the moonwalk.” The little girl was disappointed. “That dance was so important to you?

Page 23The Island Sand PaperApril 15th, 2016

Page 24 The Island Sand Paper April 15th, 2016

Just because season is nearly over doesn’t mean our readers can’t still enjoy their fresh fruits, veggies and handmade crafts! This week, the Sand Paper was happy to find out that three of our local markets will remain open through the month of May.

SANTINI SUNRISE FARMERS MARKET

TUESDAYS The Santini Market opened Tuesday, November 4th and will be open every Tuesday from 9am-1pm - rain or shine - until May 31st. There has been a lot of positive buzz about this market - which is new and improved for this season – and what Event Coordinator Bonnie Roberts told us back in November is likely the reason: “An exciting change for the Santini Sunrise Farmer’s Market is we’ve gone “all fresh,” homegrown, and handmade,” she said. “Our jewelry makers are making and customizing their pieces on site, Honey from the Hood is doing hourly demos on harvesting honey, Connie Eugenio is engraving rings and bracelets ‘to go’. You will see taffy being made by Bradley Taffy, Gemini Jelly brings her own homemade jellies, and Peaches Provisions sells homemade Pickles and Olives. Other items for sale will include Moringa Tree Oils, fresh seasonings, herbal balms, local handmade baskets, pottery, beach photography, carved wood art, hemp bamboo clothing, homemade candles, air plants, natural pet treats, handmade soaps, and so

much more.” And then there’s the BBQ! Wafting through the rows of colorful vendors is the mouth-watering scent of Bonez Brother’s BBQ – winners of the Smokin in the Mangroves BBQ competition for several years running. For a real Southern treat, try their ‘Love in a Cup’ – layers of baked beans, slow-cooked collard greens, cole slaw and pulled pork – yum! “We are delighted that our anchors – Travis and Jennifer Owen’s Santini Fresh Market – have made the decision to continue the market through May,” Bonnie told us. Bonnie is always looking for new vendors, too, especially for when the market starts up again in November. Contact Bonnie at 239-443-8810 or e-mail her at bgrsgs@gmail.com to obtain a copy of the regulations and register for the market.

HEALTH PARK FARMERS MARKET

WEDNESDAYS Open year-round, the Health Park Market’s focus is on health, as the focus is on organic and gluten-free items that people can take home. The market is open from 10am-2pm at the Village Shoppes at Health Park on Bass Road (corner of Bass and Summerlin) this unique market is ideally situated next to a cluster of medical centers and thriving neighborhoods that are pushing to have the market become a year-round one.

“My dad and I started this market to offer healthy, organic, nutritious food,” said Lisa Capozio, a clinical nutritionist. “We are a full non-profit so we are able to help those on food assistance too – anyone with a SNAP card will get double value at our market.” The Health Park market is located in the outside parking lot of the shopping plaza, and Lisa says that location is perfect for sustaining a year-round market, as it is not a seasonal area. “We support specialty, conventional and organic growers, foodies, local businesses and our neighbors, and we want to give local producers a chance to make money year-round so they can sustain themselves,” she said. For more information, call Lisa at (239) 470-9007.

BEACH BAPTIST FARMER’S MARKET

WEDNESDAYS A new market came to town earlier this year, when Baptist Pastor Shawn Critser decided he needed a new way to raise funds for the church’s mission in Guatemala. “The idea started when we had a ladies craft fair here one Saturday that was so successful we decided to expand it and make it more professional.” Critser said. “So we picked Wednesday since there aren’t any other markets on the island on that day, and started in January. We have a maximum of 40 vendors here now, and the proceeds from the booth rentals go

to continue our mission work.” The market has grown in popularity since, something that prompted Critser’s decision to keep it open one more month. The market holds brightly colored displays, fresh vegetables and produce, handmade jewelry, soaps, candles and artwork. They also offer Jonesez BBQ Pastor Shawn can often be seen in the Son Coast Coffee booth, where they sell bags of Guatemalan coffee they import directly from the farmers who grow it. Critser and his fellow church members have spent a number of years journeying to the impoverished Lake Atitlan area of Guatemala, helping villagers in the town of San Juan Moca improve their lives by building a roof on their church, install their own water supply and providing schooling and clothes for their children. Proceeds from the Wednesday markets will help them to continue this mission. The Beach Baptist Farmer’s Market is open every Wednesday through May from 9am-2pm. All of the markets listed above feature local farmers, craftspeople, artists, horticulturalists and more – vital to the colorful fabric of our community. So spend a few days checking them all out - remember, every dollar spent at the farmers’ market is a dollar re-invested in the local economy!

Keri Hendry Weeg

Local Markets Offer Fresh Options

Page 25The Island Sand PaperApril 15th, 2016

The Fort Myers Beach Art Association closed our its winter season of art exhibits this week with the Student Exhibit attracting local art students to exhibit their work in the FMBAA Art Gallery at Donora Blvd and Shell Mound Blvd. On Sunday, April 10th, awards were presented to local art students from the Cypress Lake Center for the Arts (photo below) and Cypress Lake Middle School (photo above). Winning the First Prize Art Excellence Award, that includes a $1,200 college art tuition scholarship plus $175 cash, was Nadeshka Rameriz. The Second Prize Art Excellence Award, including a $1,000 college art tuition scholarship plus $125 cash, was

Dahlia Lilleslatten. Timmy Le was awarded the Third Prize Art Scholarship Award of $800 college art tuition scholarship plus $75 cash Middle School Merit Awards were given to Alyssa Lawrence - 1st Prize; Trevor Kates – 2nd Prize and Maxwell Burg – 3rd Prize. The FMBAA offers art classes and workshops. The Art Gallery is open to the public with free admission. Their Summer Show will hang from April 16- October 11, 2016. FMBAA Gallery summer hours begin April 16th and are 9am-noon Wednesday and Thursday. For additional information on classes and exhibits visit www.fortmyersbeachart.com.

Photos by Sarah List.

Art Students Awarded Scholarships

Continuing their long history of great fundraisers for charity, the Cottage and Gulfshore Grill hosted a big bash for the American Cancer Society on Tuesday featuring live music, prizes, raffles and a silent auctionPhotos Sarah List

Fundraiser for American Cancer Society

Page 26 The Island Sand Paper April 15th, 2016

Lots to do here on Fort Myers Beach! Check out these Around & About pages for upcoming events. Pick up a copy of our monthly SAND LIFE magazine also for a complete list of all the fun things to do on the beach!

KINDERGARTEN ROUNDUPIt’s time for Kindergarten roundup at Beach Elementary! All entering kindergarteners are invited to come to Beach School on WE May 4 at 10am with their parent or someone special. They will be given a tour of their new school, some buddy time with current kindergarten students, a FREE lunch for everyone in the Dolphin cafeteria and

playground time with their new friends until 11:30am. Parents are asked to bring the following: original birth certificate, current school physical form (dated after 8/10/15), social security card if available, FL immunization card, proof of address, proof of custody and a driver’s license. Attendees are asked to notify Mrs. Renee or Mrs. Amy 463-6356.

FOOD DRIVEThe 24th annual National Letter Carrier Food Drive will be held SA May 14. Letter carriers will collect non-perishable food that has been left by mailboxes. Any visitors heading north before then are asked to drop their food off in the lobby of the FMB Post Office, where a table has been designated for donations. Volunteers are needed to help collect and sort the food. If you can help contact Tanya Phillips at the Harry Chapin Food Bank 239-334-7007 or Kim Berghs at United Way 239-433-2000 x260

NINA & PINTAReplicas of the historic Columbus ships, the Nina and the Pinta will be docked at the Marina at Edison Ford from WE Apr 21 to WE Apr 27th. The ships tour together as a “sailing museum’ to educate on the ‘caravel’,

a Portuguese ship used by Columbus and early explorers to discover the world. Historians consider the caravel the Space Shuttle of the 15th century. The Nina was built completely by hand and without power tools. The public is invited for walk-aboard, self-guided tours from 9am-6pm. No reservations are necessary. Admission is $8/adults; $7/seniors and $6 students 5-16.

SANTINI SUNRISE MARKETThe Santini Sunrise Tuesday Fresh Market will continue each Tuesday through the end of May at Santini Marina Plaza. This weekly market offers fresh local veggies, fruits, baked goods, Bonez BBQ and hand made crafts and jewelry. Tasty treats by Francesco’s, Truly Scrumptious and Skye’s. Open from 9am-1pm. Open each Tuesday through the end of May.

CAR SHOWThe last Caribbean Car Show will be held Monday April 18th from 5-7pm at Salty Sam’s. The show includes hot rods, custom trucks and classic cars. Free and open to the public. 239-463-3257.

BEACH LIBRARYLibrary hours: MO, TU, TH & FR 9am-5pm; WE 9am-7pm; SA 9am-1pm. 239-765-8162. Upcoming programs include: MO Apr 18: 10:30am-Our UniverseTU Apr 19: 10:30am-Book Discussion, “2AM at the Cat’s Pajamas” by Bertino; 1:30pm Getting started with eBooks (pre-register.) WE Apr 20: 1:30pm-Relaxation techniquesTH Apr 21: 10:30am-Apps for iPad/iPhone (pre-register)FR Apr 22 10:30am Network Security (pre-register); 1:30pm Stories about FMB

TASTE OF THE BEACHMark Sunday, May 1, 2016 on your calendar – The 21st Annual Taste of the Beach will bring tasty treats and fun times to San Carlos Blvd as over 16 local restaurants compete for Best of the Beach honors from 11am-4pm. Admission is $5 for adults and children over 12. Food tickets are $1 each with the average plate $5. Volunteers are needed for set up, event help and cleanup. Call Rhonda if you can help out. 239-454-7500.

BIKE NIGHTBootleggers Waterfront

Page 27The Island Sand PaperApril 15th, 2016

MASTER NATURALIST-COASTALThe Friends of Matanzas Pass Preserve will sponsor a Coastal Module of the Florida master naturalist Program this fall. The program will have six class sessions on Tuesdays, Oct 18 – Nov 22. The program will include class sessions, presentations and field trips. Field trips will include the Lovers’ Key Beach, Matanzas Pass Preserve, Bunche Beach Bird Walk, Mound Key and the Estero Bay Buffer Preserve. Three scientists will lecture on subjects including beach dynamics, sea level rise and the formation of barrier islands. Classes will be held at Newton House on Fort Myer Beach.

Registration $230/ Class limited to 20To register, visit the Florida Master Naturalist Program website, bit.ly/FMBnaturalist. For more information call Jim Rodwell 239-565-7437

LIFE ALONG THE SHORE WALKEach Monday from 9:30-11am through April 25th, explore the shoreline along San Carlos Bay and learn more about the shorebirds, shells, animals and plants native to Bunche Beach Preserve. Wear comfortable clothing, shoes that can get wet. Bring water, binoculars, bug spray and camera. 18201 John Morris Rd. Free with paid parking.

Barbeque will host a Bike Night from 5-9pm on SA April 16th. All motorcyclists are invited to attend and participate in biker games with prizes. Live music, food and drink specials.

LOVERS KEY STATE PARKGuided nature programs are offered in the park. All programs require registration, are free with park entry and take place at 10am. To register call 239-463-4588. Upcoming programs include: TU Apr 19 – Fishing Clinic; Beach Walk & Estuary TourFR Apr 22 – Art of the Calusa

MOUND HOUSE EVENTSMound House is a unique archaeological and historical site on Fort Myers Beach located directly on Estero Bay and offers a variety of programs for local residents, visitors and school groups. Experience this one of a kind museum that sits atop a 2,000 year old Calusa Indian Shell Mound. Open TU-SA 9am-4pm through Apr 30th. Admission $10/adults; $5/ages 6-12. 451 Connecticut St. moundhouse.org 239-765-0865. Upcoming events:-TU Apr 19: 9am-guided Beach Walk at Newton Park (free); 9:30-noon-Caloosa Carvers

Demo FREE; 11am and 2pm-History of the Mound House ($5/members free)-WE Apr 20: 9:30am-noon-Guided Kayak Eco Tour ($45/members $15) reservations req.

SONGWRITING CONTESTOrganizers of the inaugural Mother’s Day/Mother Earth Rhythm of the Island Festival, to be held Saturday, May 7th are seeking original songs about our Island. The festival is a celebration of our island and original, never-recorded songs are eligible. Songwriters are asked to email an MP3 version of the song, sung by the songwriter, before April 21 to MRTFFMB@gmail.com. Use the same email for more information on the contest.

SUMMER CAMPOstego Bay Marine Science Center has announced its 2016 Summer Camp. Held in June and July at the Marine Science Center for ages 6-15, the camps are taught by state certified teachers who lead campers on boat and beach trips, teach about sea grass communities, plankton populations, mangrove tangles and bird nesting areas. Camps fill quickly, so register early at www.ostegobay.org or 239-765-8101.

■ FREE BOAT DOCKAGE■ INDOOR AND OUTDOOR SEATING■ HAPPY HOUR & LIVE MUSIC DAILY■ CALL AHEAD SEATING AVAILABLEMATANZAS ON THE BAY has that special fl avor that epitomizes Southwest Florida’s lifestyle and cuisine – from new menu offerings including fresh seafood to live entertainment and scenic waterfront views! This is the best place to enjoy all that Southwest Florida has to offer, just ask the locals!

RESTAURANT • INN • MARINA

JAZZ ON THE BAYEVERY FRIDAY 6:00-9:00 P.M.

BRUNCH EVERY FIRST SUNDAY OF THE MONTH11:00 A.M. - 3:00 P.M.

www.MatanzasOnTheBay.com • (239) 463-3838Nestled on the bay in the heart of the Fort Myers Beach Downtown District at Matanzas Bayside Inn • 416 Crescent Street, Fort Myers Beach, FL 33931Call for Waterfront Accommodations at (239) 463-9258

ROOMS AND SUITESPOOL & SPADEEP WATER DOCKAGE

DOCK & STAY AT

BEACH ACCESS

MATANZAS BAYSIDE INN 28

SPORTS, MUSIC & DOCKSIDE PIZZA

HAPPY HOURHAPPY HOUROPEN - 7 P.M.

MON - THURS 4 - 10 P.M.FRI - SUN 11:30 A.M. - 10 P.M.

Government Meetings This Week

Monday, 4/18 2:00pm Town Council Work Session 6:30pm Town Council MeetingTuesday, 4/19 9:30am Lee County Board of Commissioners, 2120 Main St, Fort Myers 6:00pm Fire Board, Station 31, 3043 Estero Blvd.Wednesday, 4/20 9:00am Anchorage Advisory Committee

All meetings take place in Town Hall at 2525 Estero Blvd. unless otherwise noted.Meeting information accurate as of press time.

Page 28 The Island Sand Paper April 15th, 2016

B E A C H C L A S S I F I E D SCLEANING

PERSONAL TOUCH CLEANING

239-463-1843Weekly or Bi-Weekly

Spring CleaningEnd of Season

Cleaning

A Better Bugman LLCA Full Service

Pest Control CompanyResidential & Commercial MOSQUITO + SPIDERSCONTROL PROGRAMS

Call Today for FREE Estimate.

Phone: 239-454-BUGS(2847)Fax: 239-415-BUGS(2847)

PEST CONTROL

Yoga for Every Bodywith

Susan CarterCertified Iyengar

Yoga Teachervisit wechooseyoga.com

YOGA

MAGICIAN ENTERTAINER

DJ, Magic or Pirate ShowsAvailable for ALL kinds

of events. Call Mike Wyzard at 239-440-2805

TALENT FOR HIRE

FOR SALE

CLASSIFIED ADS $20/wk $60/ 4 wks.

239-463-4461

HELP WANTEDPILATES

Group ClassesMon, Wed. & Fri.,

10-11 amFirst Baptist Church130 Connecticut St.*All ages and levels

welcome*Private Sessions & Duets

available by appt.Kristi West, Certified

Fletcher Pilates Instructorkristiwest126@gmail.com;

239-233-1114Call or email for schedules

and pricing

PILATES

SARAH LIST PHOTOGRAPHY

Photography for all occasions.To schedule an appointment

or for more information:239-220-7832

RENTALS

LOVERS KEYCONDO FOR SALE1 BR/1 BA 780 sq ftTurnkey furnished

2nd floorBeautiful Condition

$239,000 or best offer

Pix available on Zillow.comCall 585-749-4723

FOR RENTAnnual Rental Apt., 2 BR/1

BA, Middle of Island. Call 917-542-1126

VACATION RENTALFMB south end 3 BR/3BA

house. Pool, 85’ deepwater frontage w/dock on Big Carlos Pass. Beautiful

Gulf views, walk to beach. $5,000/mo or $1,500/wk.

Also avail. for photo shoots w/spectacular views for ads for swimsuits, weddings or anniversaries. Call John

239-822-5956 Gemutlichkeit in Paradise!

SEASONAL RENTAL2BR/2BA apt. on quiet San

Carlos Island. Walking distance to beach &

restaurants. Beautiful sunsets from 2nd fl balcony.

Pool & many amenities. Avail. Apr-Dec. Annual

rentals also available. Call Tom 239-560-5577.

HELP WANTEDExperienced Cleaner

Part-time; Earn $550/mo working a couple hours FR, SA, SU

evenings239-565-8691

HELP WANTED12 hours per wk

Library Clerk$9 hour, FMB Library

239-765-8162

SEASONAL RENTAL1BR/1BA apt for rent avail. for summer/winter rental. Located mid-Island FMB.

Clean and nicely furnished w/deeded beach access. Available Immediately. Call 239-731-0450 or

305-395-1559.

RENTALSANNUAL RENTAL

2 BR/1.5 BA Duplex for rent on Whitewater Ct, FMB.

1200 sq ft. W/D, central air, tiki bar in yard w/firepit & BBQ. $1250/mo includes satellite, water & electric. $3,000 to move in for first/last/security. Call Jay 239-

738-9723.

HELP WANTEDFinancial Managers,

dESCO, LLC. (Ft. Myers, FL). Manage Mergers &

Acquisitions for int’l private equity; prep Financial

Reports. MBA+1 yr. exp. in job offered including

int’l exp. w/private equity investor-owners. Must

have authorization to work indefinitely in U.S. Send Resumes to: dESCO,

LLC. Attn: Ray Brien, 44 Barkley Cr. Ft. Myers, FL

33907.

PHOTOGRAPHY

FOR SALE16’ Ocean Kayak Cabo.

Perfect for Back Bay exploration. Like new,

c/w carbon fiber paddles, quality adjustable sling

seats, 2 adult life vests and dolly wheels. $575. 609-

410-7702

HELP WANTEDFront Desk Position at

Small Inn on FMB.Full/Part Time

Must be available to 8pm & occassional SaturdayComputer experience

required.Call 239-463-9193

HOUSE FOR SALEFurnished.

3 BR, 2 Bath$375,000

Call Terry 239-223-4999

FOR SALE

Page 29The Island Sand PaperApril 15th, 2016

DAVID C. WELCH1954-2016

David C. Welch of Fort Myers Beach passed away on March 5, 2016 at HealthPark Hospital. David was born on October 11, 1954 to Dave Welch and Pattie William in Missouri. He graduated from Northwest High School, House Springs, MO in 1972. David moved to Fort Myers Beach in 2007. He is survived by his wife, Marilou Welch and sons David Welch of Missouri and Patrick Welch of Fort Myers Beach. He is predeceased by his parents Dave Welch and Pattie William. David leaves many good friends in his church community as well as the wider beach community to mourn his passing, including Scott Lumley, who described David as “a really, really good guy.” David was a member of First Baptist Church on Fort Myers Beach. Memorial services for David will be held at First Baptist Church (Beach Baptist), Fort Myers Beach on Saturday, April 23, 2016 at 6:30pm.

Florida Water Wars, Cont’d from pg.5the devastation caused by nutrient pollution. His resulting story ‘A Spoonful of Sugar’ in the Island Sand Paper inspired then-Lee County Commissioner Ray Judah to take up the fight to stop Big Sugar pollution. The local daily kicked off a ‘Stop the Muck” campaign. In 2008, Associate Editor Keri Weeg was in attendance when the SFWMD, with authorization by then-Governor Charlie Crist, agreed to purchase some 180,000 acres of U.S. Sugar land for the purpose of sending the water south. That deal fell apart as – year after year – Florida’s governor and legislature failed to act. In 2014, Florida voters overwhelmingly approved the passage of Amendment One, with many assuming those funds would be used to buy land south of the lake. Current Governor Scott and the legislature have yet to deliver on that either, though the Legacy Florida Act – which will provide $200 million for Everglades Restoration – passed on the last day of this year’s legislative session. Other projects such as C-43, the raising of the Tamiami Trail, purchasing of public and private lands for storage, local mayors rallying to demand solutions and a decision by the SFWMD in February to open Water Conservation Area 3 and send water into Florida Bay for the first time in nearly 100 years – amongst many others – have all been big steps in the right direction, yet the threat of brown water continues - as 2013’s ‘Summer of Brown Water’ was followed by this year’s El Nino rains wreaking havoc in the middle of season. Beginning in 2011, the Sanibel-Captiva Conservation Foundation began working with west coast stakeholders to provide a weekly Caloosahatchee Condition Report to the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers. That report is posted each week on the SCCF website, sccf.org under the Natural Resource Policies tab. This week’s report indicates that while the lake level is down, releases from the lake increased to meet farm irrigation demand. Right now, with the lake at

14.8 feet, discharges increased from 2,142 cubic feet per second (cfs) last week to 3,078 cfs this week “in order to supply irrigation requests from the agricultural industry”, with local scientists recommending that they be reduced to 2,000 cfs in anticipation of the coming rainy season. Their April 12th report also states: “High estuary discharges the past twelve weeks and increased evapotranspiration off the lake have contributed to significant lake recession. To protect spawning in the Caloosahatchee estuary and to improve salinity conditions throughout the estuary, we recommend reducing average discharges to 2,000 cfs for the coming week.” The group of scientists – who include the Town of Fort Myers Beach Environmental Technician Rae Blake and Rae Ann Wessel of the Sanibel Captiva Conservation Foundation – also recommend that the Corps adjust their June 1st target lake level from 13.5 feet to 14.5 feet. And the beat goes on.

Keri Hendry Weeg

The 4th Annual ‘Mini’ Masters Golf Tournament comes to Jungle Golf on Tuesday April 19th, 2016 with the first tee time of 4 pm. It’ll be more fun than a barrel of monkeys with prizes, raffles and yes, even mulligan’s. The jungle survivors will celebrate at the 19th hole at Pinchers Crab Shack where the Champions are crowned and legends are made. Anyone can enter a team but space is limited to only 18 teams with 8 players each so get your registration in early! Trophies will be awarded for winning team, lowest individual score and highest individual score.

There will also be a secret hole in one prize. Registration is at Pinchers and transportation will be provided to and from Jungle Golf. This event is open to the public and cost is $240 per team. However, if you just want to watch and mingle afterwards at Pinchers then sign up for the gallery for just $5. It’s a great opportunity to network. To register visit fortmyersbeachminimasters.com If you’re up to the jungle challenge then join the Masters!

Play in the Mini Masters Golf Tournament

Sarah List

Page 30 The Island Sand Paper April 15th, 2016

Beach TheaterAmerica’s Original First Run Food Theater

Photo Sarah List

Page 31The Island Sand PaperApril 15th, 2016

CLUB FRIDAY SATURDAY SUNDAY MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY

BOOTLEGGERS2200 Main St.

363-3043LOVE HUNTER

4:30PMBIKE NIGHT 5PM

FRANKIE COLT 6PMTOUCAN DO

3:00 PMALAN SMALL

4:30 PMWICKED HAP 3:00PM

ROBERT BLAKE 4:30 PMSAM DiAMORE

4:30PMGAITLIN

7PM

CASTAWAYSSantini Marina Plaza

463-4644HESTER PRYNN

8-12PMROCKER8-12PM

FRITZ’S DUO8PM-12AM

JOHN ALLENDER8PM-12AM

ELECTRIC LIPSTICK8-12AM

COTTAGEGulfshore Grill

765-5440WENDELL RAY 4-7PM

STEVE FARST TRIO 9PMBAD BANDITOS

9PMTROUBLEMAKERS

9PM3 CROOKED STEPS

9PMALL DAY MUSIC FOR AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY 12PM - 1AM

CHRIS CASDIA 1-4PMSTEVE FARST

9PMTOMMY V 1-4PM

NEW VINYLS 9PM

CRACKER BOX16910 McGregor

466-4344JESSE ALEEN

7-10PMIT’S MILLER TYME

7-10PMJAM SESSION

7-10PMLARRY & CRACKER JAX

7-10PMWOLFMAN DUO

7-10PM

DIXIE FISH CO.Fisherman’s Wharf

233-8837MARK WESLEY

5:30PMANTHONY WAYNER

5:30JOEY GILMORE

3:30PMERIC MALIBU

6:30PMJOEY GILMORE

6PMLEFT OF CENTER

5:30PM

DOC FORDS708 Fishermans Whf.

765-96603 CROOKED STEPS 1PMCADILLAC BLUE 6:30PM

DEB & THE DYNAMICS 1-4PM

GIRL MEETS BOY6:30PM

BOBBY JAMES6:30

FISH MONGER19030 SAN CARLOS

239-765-5544JOHN RENO

5:30-8:30ROB BROOKS

5:30-8:30

ISLAND VIEW6TH Floor Lani Kai

463-3111LARRY MAAS

6-9PMLARRY MAAS

6-9PMJUST THE TWO

OF US 6-9PMLARRY MAAS

6-9PMJUST THE TWO OF US

6-9PM

LANI KAI BEACH BARDownstairs, Lani Kai

SIDESHOW BOB & SCOTTY 1-5PM

MYTH 9:30-1:30AMJAMMIN G’S 1-6

STEVE FARST 9:30-1:30JAMMIN G’S 1-6

DK TK 6-2DOUBLE DJs 1-5PM

STEVE FARST EXPERIENCE 6PM-2AM

DJ FIREDOG 1-5PMREMEDY 8:30-12:30

DJ TK 1-5PM10,000 VIEWS 10-1AM

DJ FIREDOG 1-5WHITE GIRL WASTED

10-1

LA OLA Times Square

765-2222

RANDY CORMIER 2-5PMBETH THOMPSON

6:30-10:30PMSHANE RUSSELL 2-5PMPHIL OXFORD 6:30-10:30

LAURIE STAR 2-5PMCHRIS KEMP 6:30-10:30PM

BRIZ & LADY 2-5PMSMOKIN’ BILL 6:30-10:30PM

WAYNE DeLORIA 1:00-5:00PM

PHIL OXFORD 6:30-10:30PMERIC PHELPS 2-5PM

DVS DUO 7-10PMWAYNE DeLORIA 1-5PM

PHIL OXFORD 6:30-10:30PMPM

LIGHTHOUSE TIKI 5th & Crescent

463-9392BRENDA KARAOKE

8-11BRENDA KARAOKE

7:30-11:30

MATANZAS on the BAY414 Crescent

463-3838JOHN KIESLING 12-4

JAZZ ON THE BAY 6-9PMSCOTTY BRYAN 12-4MARY WINNER 5-9PM

GREG WATTS 12-4WENDELL RAY 6-9

SCOTTY BRYAN5-9PM

JOHN FRIDAY5-9PM

PETE BEARD5-9PM

MARY WINNER5-9PM

NERVOUS NELLIES1131 1ST ST. FMB

239-463-8077DAVE COLLATON

6-10PMRICH LANCASTER

6-10PMHIGH TIDE

6-10PMCHRIS KEMP

6-10PMRON DANIELS

6-10PMHOT, HAZY & HUMID

6-10PMTHE OYSTERS

6-10PM

OUTRIGGER6200 Estero Blvd

463-3131ALAN SMALL

5-8MEAGAN ROSE &

SMOKIN’ BILL2-5PM

SMALL TOWN 2-5PM

GEO5-8PM

MEAGAN ROSE5-8PM

ENDRE D5-8PM

TWO HANDS5-8PM

PARROT KEYSalty Sam’s Marina

463-3257DAVID JOHNSON

7-10PMFRANK TORINO

7PMMICHAEL DiAMORE

7-10PMFRANK TORINO

7PMGAITLIN DINNER

7PMGAITLIN DINNER

7PMFRANK TORINO

7PM

PETE’S TIME OUTTime Square

463-5900PATRICK MURPHY 1-5pm

HIGH TIDE: SUNSETJEFF GREENE 1-5PM

SUNSET CELEBRATIONSEAN BRIGHT 1-5PM

PATRICK MURPHY 6-10PM

ROB MATSON 1-5PMANTHONY WAYNE

6-10PM

ROB MATSON 1-5PMROYCE ALLGOOD

6-10PMDAVE COLLATON 1-5PMANTHONY WAYNE 6-10PM

ROB MATSON 1-5PMJAMES GRAGG 6-10PM

PINCHERS TIKI BAR6890 Estero Blvd

463-2909DEB & THE DYNAMICS

6-9PMROCKIN HORSE

6-9PMSAM DEARMOND

5-8PMIRA WILKES

5-8PMSAM DeARMOND

5-8PMCADILLAC BLUE

5-8PMN2L

5-8PM

SALTY CRAB1154 Estero Blvd

233-8224

SOME LITTLE FISH1-5PM

FRITZ 6-10JAMES GREG 1-5

SHEENA LUSK 6-10SOUNDS OF STEEL

3:30PM - 7:30PMSEAN BRIGHT

5-8SOUNDS OF STEEL

5-8SMOE LITTLE FISH 1-5

CHRIS KEMP 6-9JEFF GREENE 1-5PMRON DANIELS 6-10

SOBsOld San Carlos Blvs

463-3474

DAVE COLLATON 1-5PMANTHONY WAYNE

6-10PATRICK MURPHY 1-5PM

DAVE COLLATON 6-10JAMES GRAGG 1-5PM

LEE HAGAN 6-10WILL KAISER

6-10ANTHONY WAYNE

6-10FRANK THOMPSON

6-10FRANK THOMPSON

1-5PMDAVE COLLATON 6-10

SUN DECKLani Kai, 6th Floor

FREE SPIRIT5-9:00PM

FREE SPIRIT5-9:00PM

FREE SPIRIT5:30-9:30

SIDESHOW BOB5 - 9:00PM

BEAUTY AND THE BASS5 - 9:00PM

RICH LANCASTER5 - 9:00PM

ANTHONY WAYNE5 - 9:00PM

SUNSET BEACH TROPICAL GRILL

Times SquareCHRIS KEMP 3PMCLIVE LIVE 8:30

ROBBY HUTTO 3PMBARRY LAWRENCE 8PM WENDALL RAY 8PM

YUCATAN BAR250 Old San Carlos

333-4386CHRIS KEMP

8PMAL HOLLAND

8PMGATORMOON:

5PMPATRICK MURPHY

5PMPETER KOLTER

5PMWENDELL RAY

6PMPEARL

7PM

WHO’S PLAYING WHERE AROUND THE BEACH

For more information on what’s happening around the island go to pages 30 and 31Listings on our ‘Who’s Playing Where’ page are provided as a courtesy to our Island Sand Paper advertisers. Information is provided by those advertisers and is due by noon Wednesday. Any business that would like to be included is invited to contact the Sand Paper at 239-463-4461.

Page 32 The Island Sand Paper April 15th, 2016