FOREVER YOUNG! Page 1

Out with the old and in with the New! . . . . . . .Fat chance, it’s still the same old-same old. (You get what you pay for. Scribe)

FOREVER YOUNG! Page 2

BY KIND FAVOR OF- ENDURO WORLD MAGAZINE

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February

27-28th

Great Fish Rally Port

Alfred Jenny 084 8297591

Impala Rally Hartebeespoort

Dam near Pretoria.

Bike SA 011 782 5521

January

17th

Road Runners poker run.

18th

CMA memorial run

30-31 South Riot, Graaf-Reinet

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JANUARY

8th Rodney Hiles (P)

22nd Geoff Wilmers (G)

30th Jenny Moss (G)

Memo to our new and old farts

It is up to you to send me your Birth Dates.

It is also up to you to inform me when you

move from (S) silver to (G) Gold and (P)

platinum. (I do not have time to cut off your

legs and count the rings.) If you are (P)

Platinum, you don’t have to do anything you

have reached the top. Yay!

WE DON’T HAVE BLACK-OUTS. WE HAVE PREVIOUSLY LIT AREAS!

IF YOU THINK YOU ARE TOUGH, CHECK OUT THESE DANEISH BIKERS.

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Jiggs McDonald, NHL Hall of Fame broadcaster speaking in Ontario, says:

"I am truly perplexed that so many of my friends are against another mosque being built in Toronto . I think it should be the goal of every Canadian to be tolerant regardless of their religious beliefs.

Thus the mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance."

"That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque; thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque.

We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, "The Turban Cowboy," and the other, a topless bar, would be called "You Mecca Me Hot."

"Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbecue pork restaurant, called " Iraq of Ribs."

"Across the street there could be a lingerie store called " Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret," with sexy mannequins in the window modelling the goods.", and on the other side a liquor store called "Morehammered."

"All of this would encourage Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us." Yes we should promote tolerance.

We were in slow-moving traffic the other day and the car in front of us had a President Zuma rear window sticker on it, which read: "Pray for Our President Zuma, Julius Malema, and Zimbabwean Robert Mugabe... Ref:- Psalm 109:8". My husband's Bible was lying on the dash board & he got it & opened it up to the scripture & read

it. He started laughing & laughing. Then he read it to me. I couldn't believe what it said. I had a good laugh, too.

Psalm 109:8 "Let his days be few; and let another take his office. "

At last - we can voice a Biblical prayer for the entire ANC. (Please start praying in earnest!)

Life just gets better as you get older, doesn't it! I was in a News Cafe recently when my stomach started rumbling and I realized that I desperately needed to fart. The place was packed but the music was really loud so to get relief and reduce embarrassment, I timed my farts to the beat of the music. After a couple of songs I started to feel much better. I finished my coffee and noticed everyone was staring at me. I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my Ipod. This is what happens when old people start using technology.

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COINCIDENCES A farmer went to a local bar and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman sitting next to him said, 'How about that? I just ordered champagne, too!' 'What a coincidence' the farmer said. 'This is a special day for me. I am celebrating.' This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating,' said the woman.' 'What a coincidence!' said the farmer. As they clinked glasses he added: 'What are you celebrating?' 'My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynaecologist told me that I am pregnant!' 'What a coincidence!' said the man. 'I'm a chicken farmer and all last year my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying eggs again.' 'That's great!' said the woman, 'How did your chickens become fertile?' 'I used a different cock,' he replied. The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said 'what a coincidence!'

Wife texts husband at work on a cold winter's morning; "Windows frozen, won't open."

Husband texts back; "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it."

Wife texts back 5 minutes later; "Computer really stuffed now."

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.' The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?' The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What's the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know the one that's red and has thorns.' 'Do you mean a rose?' 'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'

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Scribe: Ken Heath

Tel: 082 710 2534 for verbal abuse.

E-Mail: heathken@telkomsa.net for any

contributions, comments etc. (Please….please …please!!!!)

Lawyers: Legal Wise: “Don’t talk to me, talk to my

Lawyer!”

Ulysses Office

E-Mail: ulyssessa@telkomsa.net

‘Disclaimer’

The opinions of the Scribe are not necessarily the product

of a sound mind and do not necessarily reflect the

opinions or values of Ulysses East London or any “Sane”

person!

Hi everybody, let’s hope the “New Year” is one of fun and laughter for all of you.

I trust that you are all back in the saddle and recovering from your amazing holidays.

Not much to report, except I cannot wait for this years “End of year celebration.” Who knows perhaps Rae will embark on a voyage of exploration and discovery and take some of you with her?

Stay on two wheels,

Ken.

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FOLLOWING MY REPORT ON LAST YEARS END OF YEAR PARTY, A WHOLE LOT OF PHOTO’S OF THE EVENING ARRIVED FROM OLD FARTS THAT WERE A LITTLE SLOW IN SENDING THEM IN.

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER!

Is Neville really swimming in a speedo? Kings of Kidd’s Beach

The start of the journey! Encouraging “friends”.

That blerry traffic circle!

So glad that I am not taking a trip. I categorically deny that I ever . .

It’s an itsy bitsy, yellow, polka dot speedo!!!

Don’t touch my bike!!

Sorry to rehash this Rae, but it seems that you did what many would have liked to have done. Who knows, perhaps this year

you should hire a tour bus!

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WHAT WOULD YOU DO? A man returns home a day early from a business trip. It's after midnight. While on route home, he asks the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspects his wife is having an affair, and he wants to catch her in the act. For R100, the cabby agrees. Quietly arriving home, the husband and cabby tip toe into the bedroom. The husband switches on the lights, yanks the blanket back and there is his wife in bed with another man! The husband puts a gun to the naked man's head.

The wife shouts, 'Don't do it! I lied when I told you I inherited money. HE paid for the Porsche I gave you. HE paid for our new cabin cruiser. HE paid for your season tickets to watch the matches. HE paid for our house at the lake. HE paid for your African Tour and your 4x4. HE paid for our country club membership, and HE even pays the monthly dues!' Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband lowers the gun. He looks over at the cabby and says, 'What would you do? The cabby replies, 'I'd cover him with that blanket before he catches a cold.'

After 100 years lying on the sea bed, Irish divers were amazed to find that the Titanic's swimming pool was still full.

I made my girlfriend's dreams come true and married her in a castle. You wouldn’t have thought it though from the miserable look on her face................... as we were bouncing around!