Flamy the Dragonet

©Jane H. Buckingham [email protected] https://twitter.com/translator_frog

http://emets.olmer.ru/http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/3463868.Dmitrii_Aleksandrovich_Emets

http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/3463868.Dmitrii_Aleksandrovich_Emets

http://emets.olmer.ru/

https://twitter.com/translator_frog

mailto:[email protected]

Flamy the Dragonet

Dmitrii Emets

Translated from Russian

by

Jane H. Buckingham

Translation edited by

Shona Brandt

Illustrations by

Viktoria Timofeeva



















5

Chapter OneTHE BUNNIES’ BIRTHDAY

Late in the evening, when Masha was already asleep, the plush bunnies Sineus and Truvor1 were celebrating their first birthday in a box under her

bed. The bunnies were twins, and if it were not for a spot of watercolour on Sineus’ ear and black threads sewn on Truvor’s tail, it would not be possible to tell them apart.

The cat Muffin, the doll Olga, and the red-haired baby boy doll Pookar were the bunnies’ guests.

Olga was not a slender Barbie, but a respectable Russian doll with strong arms and legs and big blue eyes. When she was turned upside down, she got scared and cried, “Ma-ma!” There is nothing surprising about that. If you, dear reader, were turned upside down, you would also begin to call for mama or even a policeman. Olga did everything in the world correctly. She would

always say “thank you” and “please” and only occasionally mixed them up. “Thank give me candy!” or “Please you for lunch!” came out of Olga then.

The bunnies’ other guest, the red-haired baby boy doll Pookar, belonged to the type that always walks around with undone laces, scraped knees, and a black eye. His red hair was tousled, his turned-up nose looked at the world with two cheerful holes, and freckles were scattered across his cheek.

Pookar was dressed in a denim jacket with a lot of pockets: two at the bottom, two on top, and one at the back. Masha, the seven-year-old girl in whose room the toys lived, made him the jacket. It had many pockets, but there is only one Pookar and he could never remember where he put things.

The bunnies Sineus and Truvor were fidgeting on their stools. “When will Birthday come? Why hasn’t he?”

1 According to the 12th century Primary Chronicle, the history of Kievan Rus' from c. 850 to 1110, Sineus and Truvor were brothers of Rurik, the founder of the Rurik Dynasty that ruled Kievan Rus' until the 17th century.







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“He’s probably delayed in school,” Pookar decided.“What is school?” The bunnies were curious.“Well...er... how to tell you, doll? School is a place where there are many

girls, and they pounce on you and squeeze you all the time. I went there with Masha,” Pookar bragged.

The cat Muffin shivered. “Brr! They squeeze! I can’t stand it. They smudge your fur and then you have to lick it clean!”

“But I liked it! Squeezes are nicer than baths. Besides, baths are simply a waste of the gift of time because you get dirty later all the same,” Pookar stated.

“Phew, what a slob you are!” The doll Olga wrinkled her nose.Pookar was offended. “You’re a slob! Now I’ll hit you on the forehead!”

he said.“Not nice to hit girls!” the cat Muffin reminded him. “So it’s not nice!” Pookar agreed. “But fun!”Olga threatened Pookar with an impressive fist. “Just let him try! I’m a

big doll, but he’s a mere undersized baby doll, almost a tumbler!”The quarrel could easily have turned into a fight, but then the bunnies

intervened. “Aren’t you ashamed? Today’s our birthday!” they said and, looking at each other, sulked again. Sineus and Truvor did everything synchronously.

Pookar and Olga turned red and made peace for some time. In fact, they were good friends, and that they squabbled – so who does not squabble? Just that Pookar’s character was mean, and Olga, I must say, was no sweetheart either.

“You promised that Birthday will come to us today... But he’s still not here! Turns out you tricked us!” the bunnies said and began to sniffle a bit.

If you look at it, they had a good reason for this. And it is true what nonsense had occurred: the guests argued and almost came to blows, the table was not set, and Birthday was still not there. The only thing left to do was cry.

Pookar simple-mindedly decided to console them. “Follow the example quietly, rabbit hats! Feet together, ears apart! And all smile promptly! Whoever cries, retrains at the pet shop to become a porpoise!” he said.

Sineus and Truvor, always taking everything literally, started to tremble just in case, and were ready to hide under their stools.







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“Stop it, Pookar! And you get out, come on! Birthday comes when everybody sits down at the table and begins to drink tea. It’s always so,” the cat Muffin calmed the bunnies.

Sineus and Truvor quieted down and obediently wiped each other’s wet nose. The doll Olga put the kettle on and pulled out candies. The bunnies attacked the chocolate at once and smudged themselves all the way up to their ears.

Pookar looked at the candy with squeamish thoughtfulness. He had tucked away a whole jar of jam even before dinner. “I don’t want any!” he stated.

“Nobody’s offering them to you,” Olga remarked casually.“Is that so, doll? Then I’ll take it just to spite you!” Pookar said and

started to stuff candies into his pockets.In the meantime, the kettle was boiling.“Tea’s ready. Who will pour it?” Olga asked.The bunnies roused themselves happily. They were filled with

responsibility.“We will! We will!” they shouted and toppled the kettle onto Olga’s

knees. Fortunately, dolls are less afraid of boiling water than people.“We poured tea! Just as you asked!” Sineus and Truvor boasted.Olga looked with horror at the wet hem of her dress. “You don’t pour it

there, fool...eh-eh...little fools!”“Oh! We have no tea! Birthday won’t come now. Sorry, Olga! We’re so

unhappy!” The bunnies started to cry.The cat Muffin slapped their paws encouragingly. “Nonsense! We can

boil more water. Pookar and I will get water from the aquarium!”The aquarium, which the cat loved to contemplate thoughtfully, stood on

Masha’s desk. Here Pookar could not restrain himself and proposed to boil the entire aquarium instead of getting the water with the kettle.

“The fishes! What will happen to them?” Olga asked fearfully.Pookar shrugged. “Nothing will happen to them. Muffin will eat the

fishes. Well-made tea with fish is her favourite dish.”Muffin pondered seriously. “It wouldn’t be bad, of

course, but Masha would be upset. She likes the fishes. Besides, if I were to eat them now, then my hope of eating them later will disappear,” she said uncertainly.

“Well, best enemy of the dog, you convinced me! We won’t boil the aquarium. Just take a little bit of water. The







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fishes won’t be worse off. Let’s go, cat!” Pookar agreed easily, heading to the table.

His compliance alarmed Olga. “No! I’ll go with you. Otherwise, you’ll play some mean trick without me!” she said with suspicion.

“Eh, no! We’ll manage somehow! Roaming at night isn’t something for a girl. Besides, you have big feet and you stomp. And watch you don’t eat all the candy; I know you, send us off as you have your eyes on them,” said Pookar.

Olga flared up and pounced on him. “Oh, you bad baby doll! Some day you’ll bug me and I’ll rip all your ears off! Then let Masha sew them back on!”

Pookar spat sullenly. “With threads?” he said.“With threads.”“The ears?”“The ears.”Pookar looked at her for a long time and then shook his head. “Phooey,

doll, what sickly fantasies you have!” he said.Then Pookar climbed onto the cat, and Muffin crept out stealthily from

under the bed.

* * *

You, of course, notice how terrible a room becomes at night. The most familiar things look sinister. A shirt on the back of a chair flutters and resembles a person, who came in for no known reason, found a seat, and sits and looks at you for some reason. The light outside the window casting sinister shadows on the walls? The rustling in the closet?

Muffin and Pookar were also afraid at first and they immediately wanted to turn back. However, after watching closely, they saw that the room looked calm and sleepy. On the bed, curled up under a blanket, Masha was sleeping and having good dreams. The fishes were sleeping in the aquarium on the table. The flowers were sleeping in the pots on the windowsill. Life is indeed not so terrible if you examine it.

The cat Muffin leaped onto the desk with the grace of a truck transporting scrap metal. She was a domestic cat and consequently rather clumsy. Still, it was good that no one woke up.







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Once on the desk, Pookar climbed down from the cat, picked up the kettle, and began to get water from the aquarium. He also accidentally scooped up a couple of fish and had to put them back.

“Push their way in here, how brash! No shame, no conscience! Just like me!” Pookar grumbled. One would think that he did not come to the fishes with a kettle, but they to him.

The cat Muffin jumped down from the desk, managing not to spill the water, and they were both in the box with the toys a minute later. Everybody sat at the table and started to have tea with cake. Olga had made the cake on the play stove earlier during the day, but hid it so that Pookar would not find it. Muffin did not have cake, in order to keep her figure. She declared that one needed to be careful with cakes, and that one of the cats she knew had put on so much weight that she got stuck in the doorway.

The centre of the cake with a single candle because the bunnies were only a year old, went to Sineus and Truvor. They swelled up like a balloon and blew out the candle for luck. Everyone pulled the bunnies’ ears and gave them gifts. The cat Muffin gave them carrots, Pookar a fat book of Russian fairy tales. Olga had made for the bunnies warm knitted hats with openings for the ears.

Then everyone was again busy with the cake. It turned out to be surprisingly tasty.

“I approve, doll! This time you’ve clearly managed something edible by accident,” Pookar praised Olga. “Only you dumped too many calories in there.”

“No calories there! Only flour, sugar, eggs, and nothing more,” Olga took offence.

“Wait a minute! Let’s find out... You say that there are no calories but I feel that there are. It means they squeezed in there on the sly when you turned away.”

Sineus and Truvor started to tremble. “Oh! We’re scared!”“Admit it, Pookar! You just made up those calories!” Olga was mad. She

could not stand it when they questioned her culinary skill.Pookar narrowed his eyes. “Made it up?! What is Masha’s mama

struggling with, then? What is it she’s scared of like fire?”“She’s scared of calories. What else if not calories!” Muffin stopped

washing for a moment.







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Pookar stared triumphantly at Olga and bent over the cake. “Listen, bunnies! Work them big ears. Something’s scratching in there. It’s all of them, calories! They’re going to war!”

The doll Olga blinked her blue eyes. “Oh! What will happen to us now?”“That’s just it,” Pookar threw up his hands. “Well, so be it, I’ll save you

from the evil of calories. They don’t scare courageous me. I’ll eat the whole cake by myself.”

Pookar was already stretching his hands to the cake, but Muffin said, “Don’t believe him, little fools! He tricked you. Calories aren’t dangerous for slim little kids, but Masha’s mama can do perfectly well without them. Otherwise, soon only the handkerchiefs from her whole wardrobe will fit her.”







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Chapter TwoA BIG TRIP AROUND A SMALL APARTMENT

Pookar loved to discover new corners of the apartment, the ones which none of the toys had wandered to earlier. He was not one that could sit in one place for three days or even three minutes. He had to be constantly running somewhere, arranging something, exploring something. In short, this was the most restless baby boy doll in the world.

One spring morning, when Masha had gone to school and her parents to work, the doll Olga was teaching the bunnies Sineus and Truvor the alphabet. Olga herself already knew the alphabet and could write all of the letters except W.

“This is the letter A,” Olga showed them. “It looks like A... Understand? This is the letter U, it looks like U.” Olga was a born teacher.

“And the letter D looks like D?” the bunnies asked.“I think so,” the doll answered after some hesitation. “Say what you like,

but education doesn’t pass you by without a trace.”The lid of a box moved aside and Pookar appeared in full field dress. He

was dressed in a sheepskin coat buttoned up to the chin and on his head was a pot. He was holding a bottle-opener in his hands, in case he met jars of jam along the way.

“Hello, hello!” he shouted to the bunnies.“Hi, Pookar! Where are you going?” the bunnies responded.“I’m going on a hike. I’m thinking of exploring a couple of new

continents and finding out along the way where these greedy people hide their candies.”

“How interesting! We’re coming with you,” Sineus and Truvor exclaimed.

“But we’re learning the alphabet,” Olga objected.“Great discoveries won’t wait while you learn some letters. No time to

lose. Humanity suffers!” Pookar declared. He had a determined look. The pot on his head looked like a knight’s helmet. The hero was so eager towards a feat. Even Olga was fascinated, let alone the bunnies!

They decided to set off on the journey without delay and all together. If great discoveries could not wait, then the discoverer could even less so. Pookar was consumed with impatience, shifting from foot to foot and itching for adventures.







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As for Olga, despite being seized by all the excitement, she managed to make a couple of dozen sandwiches for the road. Olga was a smart girl doll and knew that brave heroes needed nourishing food.

Then the friends took to the field. Pookar, with the bottle-opener in hand, stepped in front. Behind him hopped the bunnies. The doll Olga brought up the rear, loaded with a backpack of sandwiches.

It is possible to find quite a few new things everywhere if the search is done well. Even in the usual three-room apartment with a separate washroom, glassed-in balcony, kitchen, and closet, miracles sometimes happen. Anyone who has ever done general cleanup at least once in life learns this. From somewhere out of non-existence crop up things that seemed to have been lost long ago: old shirts with change in the pockets, books without covers, combs, all kinds of knick-knacks, and much, much more.

“Hey, Pookar!” Olga shouted, catching up with him and tugging his sleeve. “What are we discovering this time? We’ve likely climbed over all the rooms.”

“The closet? I don’t know what more is in it: secrets or jars of jam! Those and others are just waiting to be discovered!” Pookar yelled excitedly. He started waving his hands and brushed against Sineus’ nose with the bottle-opener.







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After waiting until the bunny had stopped whining, Pookar motioned everyone to come closer. “A terrible secret is even connected with this closet!” he whispered, looking around mysteriously. Sineus and Truvor squirmed with curiosity.

“Someone is living in the closet! I heard sighs and a cough. Probably some distant relative, locked up in the closet and forgotten. And she barricaded herself and waits to pounce on somebody!”

“M-maybe we won’t go there?” The bunnies were trembling.Olga looked sideways at Pookar with distrust. “You made it all up,

Pookar! You’re a known dreamer and liar!”Pookar sulked. “Well, doll... time will tell. Someday I’ll be famous and

you’ll be ashamed that you underestimated me.”It was dark in the hallway. Only a few rays of light shone through the

cracks. Dust danced in the air. It first flew to the ceiling, then, sticking together in light white flakes, settled on the floor. It seemed like it was snowing.

“A-a-a-ahchoo!!” One of the bunnies sneezed, seemingly Truvor. The explorers gave a start and sat down in surprise.

Pookar put a finger to his lips. “S-shhh! The storage relative will hear us!” The bunnies nodded obediently, and even Olga, opening her mouth to object to Pookar, for some reason kept quiet.

Sneaking along the hallway, the brave travellers reached the closet. No sound reached them from there.

“We’ll explore!” Pookar whispered, pressing his ear to the door. “The relative must be hiding... And then – HUM! – she’ll attack!” Pookar showed precisely how wild uncontrolled relatives rush. It looked so promising that Sineus and Truvor clung to each other and started crying.

“Somehow I hear nothing! She must be lurking so quietly that she isn’t even breathing! We know these tricks! What a sly one! Let’s scare her away!” Pookar suggested.

On Pookar’s signal, everyone started to yell as they could. “Awooo!” Olga howled. “Oho-ho-ho!” the bunnies shouted softly, hoping in the depths of their souls that there was no trace of any relative in the closet. “Hoo-hoo-hoo!” Pookar made a deep scary sound. “Hoo-hoo-hoo!”

Nothing happened, only dust whirled around in the corners. Pookar got up on his toes and reached for the doorknob. The door creaked. The toys went inside. The bunnies hung on firmly to the doll Olga’s dress and pulled with all their strength, they were so scared.







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“Don’t get under foot, little cowards! There’s absolutely nothing to be afraid of,” Olga straightened them out.

It was dark in the small room. It smelled of old things and mothballs. Glass jars of jam gleamed on the upper shelves. Pookar switched on a flashlight. The ray picked out the frightened bunnies and Olga’s white apron from the darkness.

Sineus took a step to the side and bumped his foot painfully. “Mama! Something’s here!” he squeaked.

Fumbling with the flashlight, Pookar found a big wooden trunk. It looked very old. It was unclear how the trunk could come to be in a city apartment on the ninth floor.

“Wow!” Pookar was delighted. “Well, a trunk! How did it manage to hide from me for so long?”

Olga carefully passed a hand over the lid of the trunk, accented with copper. “This is great-grandma’s trunk. Masha told me. It was brought from the village and never opened. The key was lost.”

“Gosh! Where’s my beloved bottle-opener? Want to bet I can break open this mysterious box in a jiffy?” Pookar was filled with enthusiasm.

“You always want to break everything!” Olga threw up her hands.It was impossible to stop Pookar. He took a run, picked up the bottle-

opener, and made up his mind with a running start to bash the lock of the trunk. The bunnies hid behind the doll Olga and peeped out from beneath her skirt. The moment Pookar hit the lock with the opener, someone sneezed in the trunk so that the lid jumped. Pookar dropped the bottle-opener. Olga and the bunnies sat down on the floor in surprise.

“Someone’s in the trunk! L-let’s r-run!” the bunnies whispered.“Probably just a m-moth sneezed from the mothballs,” Pookar surmised.“Ahchoo!” the sneeze repeated itself. The friends froze.“As I said, a relative’s in there! Let’s smoke her out!” Pookar whispered.“Don’t! Let’s go! We’re scared! We want to go home!” Sineus and

Truvor in a panic grabbed Pookar’s sleeve.Olga sighed. She wavered to come to some decision. “All the same, it’s

probably better to find her. It’s somewhat uncomfortable living in the same apartment and still not being acquainted,” she decided.

The doll approached the trunk and softly knocked on it. “Excuse me, please, but we know that you’re inside. Could you look out for a minute and not frighten us?” Someone stirred in the trunk.







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“Shy!” whispered Olga. “Probably a very shy relative... Listen, you can’t spend all your time in the closet! Do you want to live in the room with us?”

“What’s with you? Our place is already so crowded. There’s barely enough room for us, and you’re inviting someone! What if she agrees?” Pookar hissed at her.

The lid of the trunk creaked and rose up a little. Big yellow eyes glowed through the crack. The bunnies trembled and tried to escape, but they bumped into each other and sprawled on the floor. Pookar and Olga were also scared, but curiosity was stronger.

“Hello! How do you do? Who are you and where did you come from?” A bass buzzed from the trunk.

“And who are you?” Pookar and Olga asked.“I’m Flamy! I live here.”“I’m Pookar... This is Olga... And this is Sineus and Truvor. They’re

bunnies and big cowards.”“I see, I see... All bunnies are cowards...” The new friend climbed out of

the trunk.Pookar shone the flashlight on him and gasped in surprise: a green scaly

head on a short neck, awkward legs spread out, small wings, and a flexible tail with notches. He was the size of a medium-sized dog.

“I don’t understand... what are you, a crocodile?” Pookar asked with a puzzled look.

“What crocodile? A dragon!!! A real one!” Olga exclaimed.













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Chapter ThreeTHE DRAGONET FLAMY

“Yes, I’m a dragon, a dragon... Don’t shine a light on me, it hurts the eyes.” Flamy testily confirmed, squinting.

“We didn’t know that dragons actually exist! We thought they’re fiction,” Olga was amazed.

“You yourself are fiction! Can say that about everyone. About you in the first place,” Flamy was indignant.

Pookar, with an apologetic smile, touched Falmy’s shiny scales with a finger. “Wow! Not fake! I thought you were stuffed. Good that we found you after all!”

Flamy irritably lashed himself on the side with his tail. “You didn’t find me at all because I wasn’t lost. I was sleeping in the trunk.”

“How long have you been sleeping here?” Olga asked.“Not long. About ninety or a hundred years. Don’t remember exactly, I

don’t have a calendar.”“Oho-ho!” the bunnies were surprised. “That’s a very, very long time!

You’re probably old?”“I’m not old at all. I’m still young. I lost Mama. I cried a little bit, then

got tired and went to sleep in the trunk. You haven’t seen my mama, by any chance?”

“What’s she like, your mama?”“So very pretty! Like me, only bigger...”“No, we haven’t met her. We’ve only seen dragons in pictures, how

Dobrynya Nikitich2 defeated them,” Pookar declared.“It’s all not true. He never defeated us. Grandpa told me this. Dobrynya

came, saw Grandpa, scratched his head, apologized, and left.”“Then where have all the dragons gone? Why don’t we meet them

anywhere now?” Pookar tried to find out. He was standing closer to Flamy than the others were and examining him with suspicion.

“We hid. We hid a hundred years ago. Dragons can become invisible or change into different objects, but only when they’re already full-grown,” Flamy explained.

“But you can’t?”“No, I can’t. I’m still young.”

2 Dobrynya Nikitich is one of the most popular heroes of the Kievan Rus era, a warrior who completes many feats in epic poems, one of which describes his triumph over the dragon.







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“Nothing young about you! A hundred years!” Olga sniffed scornfully.“Not my fault that we dragons take an awfully long time to grow up...

I’m somewhat hungry. I haven’t eaten in a hundred years, and now I can eat anything,” Flamy said.

Sineus and Truvor started to tremble. “An-anything? Oh, mama!”“We brought sandwiches. Would you like a sandwich, Flamy?” Olga

asked.“I would. But what is it?”Olga laughed. She thought that everybody knew what a sandwich was.

She pulled them out of the backpack and handed one to Flamy. The dragonet instantly swallowed it together with the wrapper. His face assumed a puzzled expression. “It seems that we don’t eat this rustling thing!”

“You haven’t tried unwrapping?” Pookar asked.“Tasteless all the same.”It was decided they would take the hungry dragon to the fridge in the

kitchen. Flamy first squinted from the daylight, but soon grew accustomed and started to look around with interest. “Where are we? Whose burrow is this?”

“This is the hallway. It begins at the front door and ends at the kitchen,” the bunnies explained.

“Good thinking! Won’t get lost. Just go down the hall and sooner or later you get to the kitchen,” Flamy said gladly. He took a running start, flapped his wings, took off with difficulty, and opened the kitchen door with his head.

“See, this is the fridge,” the bunnies said. Usually everything was explained to them. Now they enjoyed feeling clever.

Flamy stretched his neck, grabbed the handle with his teeth, and the door clicked. The night before Masha and Mama went to the store and bought food for the entire week. What was not there! Milk, cheese, sausage, ham, oranges, a pot of diet soup for Mama, and a bottle of liqueur, which Papa drinks “for digestion.”

Flamy studied all this for a while and then asked, “Where’s the food? There are only some boxes and jars here!”

“The food is inside. First, wash your hands!” Olga ordered. She had not known Flamy for very long but was already giving him orders.

“Hands?” the dragon was surprised. “I have no hands! I only have feet, and a whole four of them!”







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Olga pondered. “Well, okay! Wash your feet!” she said.“What nonsense! Where is it seen that people wash their feet before

meals? Maybe you’ll even say ears?” Pookar was outraged.“It would be a good idea for some people to wash their ears, Pookar!”

Olga said maliciously. Pookar stuck his tongue out at her.“I want to eat! I want to eat!” Flamy grumbled.Olga went to the refrigerator. “Soup?” Flamy carefully licked the soup and shook his head.“A chop, then? You should like chops.”The dragon took a bite and grimaced. “No, I don’t want chops.”In the next three minutes, it was revealed that Flamy ate neither bread,

potatoes, sausage, nor hot dogs. However, Pookar liked most of all that Flamy did not like jam.

“Wait, I’ll see what else I can find!” Olga said and went to the kitchen cupboard.

Pookar took advantage of her absence and decided to play a prank. “I know what dragons like. Try mustard, Flamy! It’s very tasty! You just have to swallow a lot quickly.”

“Don’t, don’t!” the bunnies wanted to shout but did not have time.The hungry dragonet instantly licked all the mustard out of the jar.

However, instead of jumping to the ceiling, as Pookar expected, Flamy licked his lips contentedly and let out a jet of flame from his nose.

“Wow! I couldn’t do it earlier. Yummy! Perhaps, I’d be able to have some more!” he exclaimed.

“Why does it smell burnt in here? Did you light a match? I’ll give it to you!” Olga asked the bunnies severely when she returned.

“Not us! It’s Flamy! Pookar fed him mustard and he breathed fire right away! Flamy also didn’t know that he can.”

“Yeah! It’s me! Isn’t it great?” Flamy boasted.Olga saw an empty mustard jar and started to advance menacingly

toward Pookar. He instantly hid behind Flamy.“You don’t understand, doll! He liked it. All dragons eat mustard.”“It’s true, it’s true! And even red pepper in pods. Because we breathe

fire,” Flamy confirmed.“You’re lucky, Pookaroid, or else I’d give you a licking as mustard

dessert!” Olga stopped chasing Pookar. Realizing this, Pookar looked out bravely from behind the dragon. “Well,

assuming it’s still unknown who would beat up whom,” he declared.







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Flamy and his new friends moved from the kitchen to the room and played indoor Olympic games. The bunnies Sineus and Truvor excelled in jumping. They could easily jump over Flamy. Pookar did not jump so well but somersaulted remarkably. His round body was created ideally for somersaults. Flamy flew around the kitchen like an awkward, heavy bee and almost broke the lamp.

The doll Olga was afraid of staining her new dress and just clapped her hands and laughed, watching the others having fun. She suddenly remembered that Mama and Papa would soon return from work. The adults would scold Masha for scattering the toys, so they had to tidy up the room.

Flamy hesitated a little and asked, “Can I live with you in the room? It’s boring alone in the closet!”

Pookar and Olga looked at each other and agreed. “Of course, you can. Only be careful. Nobody must see you,” said Olga.

“Why?” Flamy asked.“Because!” Pookar interrupted. “If they see you, they’ll take you away to

the zoo, detain you with your head in a test tube and study you. People – they’re like that.”

“Are we telling Masha about Flamy?” the bunnies asked together.Pookar shook his head. “Not yet. Though big in appearance, she’s but a

girl, and you can expect anything from them.”The doll Olga did not like any attack on girls. “But we can’t tell a lie! It’s

not good to lie,” she objected.“Who’s lying? To lie is to say something that isn’t. But when you don’t

talk about what is, it’s a CON-SPI-RA-CY.”“Then it’s clear. It’s quite another matter. Then we won’t tell anyone,”

the bunnies promised. They liked difficult words more than they understood their meaning.

“Hurray!” Flamy shouted. “I’ll live in the room! When someone comes, I’ll hide. Right?”

“Uh-huh,” Pookar assured him.







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Chapter FourABOUT WHAT EVERY LITTLE DRAGONET CAN DO

In the evening on the green carpet in front of the dollhouse, Olga gathered all the toys to celebrate the resettlement of the dragonet Flamy to the room. Olga was bustling about in the kitchen. Sineus and Truvor were helpers; they carried spoons, forks, bowls of jam, cookies and pickles, cans of fish for the cat Muffin, and jars of mustard for Flamy.

Meanwhile, Muffin was teaching Flamy good manners. She found him funny but a little uncouth, and immediately got busy with his education.

“How do you walk? You stomp like a rhino! Should walk like this... Feet move softly and carefully!” Muffin strolled gracefully along the rug.

“Ne-uh. If I walk like that, then what about my fearsome dragon huff? All dragons huff. They can’t do it differently,” Flamy grumbled.

“You’re as stubborn as a rhino!” Rhino was the only wild beast known to Muffin. She once saw a picture of it in a children’s book and remembered it very well. Since then, it had become her source of negative examples for life. “Walk like a rhino,” “stupid like a rhino,” “drink milk like a rhino,” the cat repeated incessantly.

“It’s unclear why this Moscow cat is obsessed with the rhino. Muffy, watch you don’t marry a rhino! You would!” Pookar once remarked and immediately got one on the forehead for it. The cat Muffin’s foot might be soft, but it was painful.

At that moment, Pookar was writing a poem, which he intended on reading at the festive dinner. The poem was awfully stubborn and did not want to be written. Pookar was chewing on a pencil and suffering.

“Give me a rhyme for the word ‘ground’!” He nudged Olga in the side.“Leave me alone. Don’t you see I’m busy?” The doll was spreading jam

on bread.“No, you’re not... I am. Spreading jam on bread is nothing like creating

verses.”“Then create them in silence. Or else you’ll be left without sandwiches,”

the doll Olga talked back.When the preparations were finished, everyone was invited to the table.

The bunnies sat on small stools with carved legs, Olga sat on an armchair, Pookar climbed onto the cat’s back, and Flamy placed his heavy head on the edge of the table.







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Everyone glanced around the table, wondering where to begin. The dragonet looked fondly at the jar of mustard. Sineus and Truvor shyly treated each other to carrots. The cat Muffin dreamily sniffed the can of fish as if smelling a rose.

“Please wait! I’ve finished the poem!” Pookar shouted suddenly. He struck a pose, stretched out his right arm, cleared his throat, ran his

fingers through his messy red hair, and began to wail in anguish,

“Cats walked along the ground,Their legs moving,Cockroaches were all around,In manna kasha bathing.”

The toys clapped their hands. “Not bad! Not bad at all. A good poem. Well done!”

Pookar looked down modestly. “I dedicate my quatrain to the dragonet Flamy.”

Flamy was moved. “Really? Very nice of you. Would you read it once more, as I wasn’t listening the first time. I didn’t know that the poem was dedicated to me,” he admitted.

“Then why did you praise me?” Pookar asked sullenly. “Okay, listen!”

“Cats walked along the ground,Their legs moving,Cockroaches were all around,In manna kasha bathing.”

Pookar repeated the quatrain three more times, and each time it seemed to him all the more successful. “I read and I weep! I can’t even believe that I wrote it,” he said.

Pookar’s poem was to everyone’s liking. Muffin liked that Pookar mentioned cats. The bunnies liked that everything rhymed and, most importantly, no one was eaten or killed. Olga alone was dissatisfied with the cockroaches. It seemed to her unhygienic.

“Let’s eat! No need to put it off! Long live cabbage and carrot pies!” the bunnies shouted.







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“What a wonderful day! Today I woke up, today a great poem was dedicated to me, and I’ve found friends!” Flamy exclaimed, dipping his long forked tongue into the mustard.

“We’re also glad that we found you and you’ve become our friend!” Olga assured him.

“And we’re even more glad that you don’t eat jam,” Pookar added, licking the spoon.

The meal was barely over and the dishes put away when everyone heard a key in the lock and voices in the hallway.

“It’s the people! Hide, quick!” they shouted to Flamy. He darted around the room, searching for somewhere to hide. He was fussing so that he knocked over a chair and made a lot of noise.

“What fell in the room?” Mama asked in the hallway.“The cat probably broke something again. I’ll take a look,” Papa replied.The door handle started to turn. The bunnies clung to each other in

fright and closed their eyes. Olga stayed still and pretended to be an ordinary doll in a white lace dress with a little pocket on the apron and a big blue bow. A doll that said “Ma-ma!” when she was turned upside down. However, before the door opened, Pookar all the same pulled the blanket from the bed and threw it on Flamy at least to hide the dragon somehow.

Papa came into the room and looked around. “It looks like the cat. She jumped on the back of a chair and knocked it over!” he said.

“Meow! Meow!” Muffin rubbed against his leg. In the presence of people Muffin uttered only “meow!” because she was certain that far from everyone was worthy of acquaintance with a talking cat.

Mama came into the room. She immediately noticed the blanket on the floor. It even seemed to her that something was moving under it. “Oh! There’s something there!” she exclaimed.

Pookar half opened one eye and saw the blanket lift a little at the edge. He closed his eyes, imagining what would happen now. Shouts, surprise, fright, and then someone would come from the zoo and take Flamy away. “There’s no one there! Just the blanket lying about... It only seemed so to you,” Pookar heard.

“But I saw! There was something there!”“You’re tired from work, my dear. Time to take a vacation or, perhaps...

quit it altogether, this work...”“Yes, but you know...” the voices began to move away.







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Mama and Papa went out, continuing their adult, uninteresting conversation. The toys breathed a sigh of relief.

“The danger’s over! But where’s Flamy? Where did he go?”Pookar and the bunnies went around the room, looking through all the

cracks. Flamy had seemingly vanished into thin air. Pookar even rummaged in his pockets just in case and Olga looked into the teacups. Flamy was nowhere.

“What if we dreamt him up?” Sineus suggested.“Exactly! Otherwise, where would he have gone to?” Truvor agreed.Olga and Pookar only made a helpless gesture. They could not

understand anything. Ringing laughter was unexpectedly heard from above. The toys raised their heads and saw nothing. Just a most ordinary ceiling. But what was that? Where did the other chandelier come from? Were there really two? In fact, there were two chandeliers, like twins, on the ceiling.

“Hello, hello! You don’t recognize me?” the second chandelier said cheerfully. It tumbled onto the floor but did not break; instead, it turned into a beaming dragon.

“I didn’t know that I can do all these tricks. Only where didn’t you search! Even in your pockets! Ha-ha! Thought you dreamt me up?”

“But how did you do that?”“I transformed!” Flamy uttered with difficulty through his laughter.

“Became invisible and then changed. Listen, if I can, it means I’m already grown! I grew while sleeping in the trunk.”

“Crazy! I would like that!” Pookar said enviously.“Pookar, you don’t have such talent and don’t try,” Olga laughed.







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Chapter FiveA VERY DIFFICULT OLD GEEZER

Masha’s parents often went visiting on weekends and she stayed home alone. They considered her old enough to occupy herself independently one night a week. However, everyone knows how boring a long, long night is when there is no one else around, all homework is done, and all cartoon recordings have already been watched eighty times. Of course, you could read a book, but who is going to read when no one sees this and praises you?

One such Saturday Masha was sitting in the armchair and petting Muffin. The cat was purring sleepily. Masha was bored and did not know what she could occupy herself with. She almost started to cry from idleness, when she suddenly heard scurrying under the bed and Pookar (who do you think?) ran out from under there. Olga, her head covered with a dishcloth, was pursuing him.

“Bad Pookar! Why did you add laundry detergent to my kasha? I’ve been spewing soap bubbles for an hour already!” Olga shouted.

Here Olga and Pookar noticed Masha and froze.“You, you’re real! You can talk!” Masha exclaimed, beside herself with

amazement. Then she paused in indecision. She did not know what to do: get angry that the toys did not reveal the secret to her sooner or be pleased that now she would always have someone to play with.

“Hello, Masha! How’s it going, how’re you growing?” Pookar shouted.“Never met anyone in my life who could say so much nonsense in one

minute! Oh!” Olga released a soap bubble.Masha squatted down beside the arguing toys. “You’re funny. Now I can

always play with you!”“That’s for sure. And even right now. We’ll go ride the elevator! Up and

down, up and down,” Pookar suggested.Masha had her doubts. “I don’t know. They left the apartment to me.

They said that I should look after the cat and not open the door to anyone.”“Poor excuses! If you don’t want to play with us, then say so. You won’t

be opening the door to anyone. How could you if you’re riding the elevator?”

“And the cat? How will I look after the cat?”“We’ll bring the cat along. Enrich your distasteful life with new

impressions!” Pookar declared.







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Masha, the doll Olga, and Pookar left the apartment and summoned the elevator. Draping over Masha’s arm was the cat Muffin, who wished to keep her own scholarship secret and said only “meow!” and “sh-sh!”













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Masha and the toys just rode the elevator at first, but they soon got bored and started to frolic. Pookar came up with ringing all the doorbells in a row and as soon as steps were heard in the hallway, springing into the elevator and riding off. They played this game for quite a long time. It was fun. When a door was opened and someone stuck his head out, the pranksters were already laughing in the elevator.

“What if someone finds out what we are doing here?” Masha asked.Pookar contemptuously brushed this aside with his chubby hand.

“Fiddlesticks-theatrics! Would the residents in indoor slippers chase us down the stairs?” He, however, did not take into account that in the world there was Pirozhkov.

Pookar jumped out of the elevator on the eighth floor and, after leaping atop the back of the cat Muffin, persistently rang several times at a metal door. In this apartment lived Peter Petrovich Pirozhkov. He was a terribly difficult old geezer. Masha only had to make a little bit of noise in her room, or the cat Muffin to drop some plate, and he would begin to bang on the heater. Pirozhkov banged long and hard, and then ran to complain to Masha’s parents that they would not let him rest “for time honestly earned.”

“What have you done! This is Pirozhkov’s apartment! Now he’ll catch us!” Masha was frightened.

“Have no fear. It’ll all be done on the sly, no cry,” Pookar calmed her.The bell rang and Pirozhkov darted to the peephole. The peephole was

Peter Petrovich’s favourite surveillance station. Even when they were not ringing his apartment but the neighbour’s, he would then spy on who and why. However, now he saw nothing through the peephole and realized that whoever was hiding behind the door was small. On running to the door and opening it, Pirozhkov managed to see someone’s legs running into the elevator, which quickly went up.

“Nasty neighbourhood kids being naughty. Well, I’ll fix them! I’ll be on the watch, catch them, and then take them to their parents!” Pirozhkov decided. He quickly ran up the stairs, catching up with the elevator. “Now I’ll show you! You’ll remember me until your discharge from the hospital, you little brats!” Pirozhkov shouted.

Masha was horrified and looked at Pookar reproachfully. Masha was a cautious girl and wished that they had not started all this.

However, Pookar did not seem in the least worried. “The game’s just beginning! Now we’ll have a race of old men in slippers in the opposite







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direction! On your mark! Get set! Go!” he said. He pressed the “Stop” button and sent the elevator down.

“How do you know what buttons to push?” Olga was surprised.“I operate by scientific poke and prod. Press all the buttons in a row.

Maybe some will work,” Pookar explained. He stopped the elevator on the eighth floor and started to ring Pirozhkov’s doorbell continuously.

Meanwhile, Pirozhkov, craftily lurking on the last floor, was waiting for the kids to get closer. He heard the doorbell of his apartment and realized that he had been taken in. Besides, he remembered that he had forgotten to close the door and did not even bring the key with him.

Pirozhkov rushed down the stairs, shouting, “Now I’ll show you! You and your parents will be evicted, mark my words!”

While Pookar was ringing Pirozhkov’s doorbell, the elevator left. The pranksters quickly looked around to see where they could hide. A footfall along the stairs was approaching. It seemed that Pirozhkov was about to drop onto their heads. At the last minute Masha, Muffin, Pookar, and Olga managed to climb down a few steps and hid behind the garbage chute.

Pirozhkov, breathing hard, came running onto the landing and looked around. “Where did they go? I’ll find out who it is!” He hurried to his apartment to look out the window, waiting for the pranksters to go out the entrance.

Masha sighed with relief. “Phew, got away with it! Almost got caught! I won’t play this stupid game anymore!”

Pookar nodded agreement. “Fine, we won’t play this! We’ll play stretch.”

Before Masha could stop the up-to-mischief Pookar, he instantly pulled out of the garbage chute a piece of thick rope and firmly tied it to the handles of the two opposite doors – Pirozhkov’s apartment and the one across the landing. Both doors opened in, so when one started to pull in, the other door would slam shut.

“Now the fun begins!” Pookar exclaimed and rang both doorbells.It is necessary to say that in the opposite apartment lived a saleslady of

the supermarket dairy department by the name of Avdokhina. This was a wiry moustached female with a shrill voice, who could scream so loudly that even Pirozhkov was afraid of her. Avdokhina and Pirozhkov argued all the time and often spied on each other through the peepholes. They were so similar that they could not get along.







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When Avdokhina heard the doorbell, she went to the door and abruptly pulled the handle towards herself. Shortly before that, she had heard Pirozhkov’s indignant voice on the stairs and now decided that he had come to swear. However, the door did not budge. The rope was hindering it.

“Is that so!” Avdokhina shouted and leaned hard on the handle. But she succeeded in opening the door only a very little. With this, she slammed shut the door of Pirozhkov, who was also trying to look out on to the landing.

“Aha, got caught! Holding the door on the outside! Now they won’t have time to escape!” Pirozhkov crowed. He dug his heels in the threshold and began to pull towards himself. Avdokhina felt the tension on the other side and, not to be outdone, leaned all her weight onto the door.

A game of tug of war had begun! Pookar stood in the middle between the neighbouring doors, too short to be seen through the peephole, and watched the scene with interest. Pirozhkov or Avdokhina had to pull with all their might so the door would open a little, but only a little because the rope was short.

“Well, keep it up! Now I have you!” Pirozhkov shouted loudly.Avdokhina heard this cry and decided that her neighbour was the one

who would not let her out of the apartment. “Oh, you scarecrow! Completely lost your mind! Now I’ll get you!” she shouted.

Pirozhkov recognized Avdokhina’s voice and blamed her for everything. He even vaguely suspected that it was Avdokhina who rode the elevator and teased him. “Now I’ll crush you, hooligan! Even a grown woman! Let go of the door now. I’ll tear you to pieces!” Pirozhkov yelled in a voice hoarse from indignation.

Pookar looked at Masha and quietly asked how she liked the new game. Masha shook her head and threatened him with a finger. However, she was glad that they were able to play a trick on Pirozhkov, who was always annoying her parents.

“Let go of the door immediately! I order you!” Pirozhkov yelled. “Let go yourself!” Avdokhina screamed.Attracted by the noise, the occupants of the other apartments started to

look out. It was time to stop the game. Taking advantage of a short respite of both Avdokhina and Pirozhkov, who were quite exhausted from their exertion, Pookar untied the rope from the door handles, and together with Masha, the cat, and the doll Olga darted away to their own apartment.







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There the little imps put their ears to the door and listened. It so happened that Avdokhina and Pirozhkov pulled the door at the same time, counting on a sudden charge to capture the opponent by surprise. They jumped out onto the landing and collided face to face. Each decided that he had caught the other at the scene of the crime.

What happened next, Masha did not manage to find out, because Mama and Papa had returned from visiting. She did not want her parents to find out that she had gone out of the apartment in their absence. All the same, they would not believe that it was not her but Pookar who had started everything. Parents do not understand a lot of things, and it is a pity. They were also children once.







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Chapter SixA GOOD FAIRY TALE FOR THE BUNNIES

The bunnies Sineus and Truvor never went to bed without a fairy tale. Every night before bedtime Masha or the doll Olga would tell them the familiar stories of Little Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, or Puss in Boots. However, Masha was not home that evening; she had gone to spend the night with Grandma and had taken the doll Olga with her. The bunnies complained and did not want to go to bed without a fairy tale. In the end, Pookar, who was fond of sitting in silence in the evening, got tired of their whining.

“That’s it! I’ve had enough! You’ll have a fairy tale! Lie in bed and close your eyes!”

Pookar put his hands behind his back and began to pace the room. The bunnies quietly lay in their mitten beds and waited for the fairy tale promised by Pookar.

“What does that silly doll usually stuff your head with?”“Once upon a time there was a miller and he had three sons. He left the

oldest the mill, the middle one the donkey, and the youngest a cat in boots...” the bunnies babbled. They knew all the stories by heart, but for some strange reason they could not tell the tales by themselves.

Pookar laughed. “What cat? In boots? What they don’t do to mess with kids’ heads! I once tried to put boots on Muffin, thought that she would scratch less, and what happened? Muffy almost pulled all the stuffing out of me! No, not on your life! Today I’ll tell you another story.”

The bunnies perked up. Pookar started, “An old man like our Pirozhkov had a lot of dust in his apartment. The dust lay on the floor, on the sofas, and even in the closed drawers of the table. One morning the old man got up and saw in the dust tracks of little feet wearing shoes with tiny studs. The tracks led into the kitchen to the sugar bowl. It was as if ten little people had gone there in the night.

“In the evening the old man put ten pieces of candy on the kitchen table. Nine were normal, but one was poisoned. The candies disappeared in the night. The next morning only the tracks of nine pairs of small shoes led to the sugar bowl... Bunnies, eyes closed, I said!

“The old man put out another piece of poisoned candy. The day passed and there were fewer tracks. He poisoned another piece of candy, and another, and another. So time after time he poisoned the candy, until one







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day he saw only one track. A row of tracks crossed the dust sadly and led to the window. Nobody came to the sugar bowl anymore.”

Pookar finished the tale, yawned, and looked at the bunnies, certain that they were already asleep. Nothing of the kind. The bunnies were quietly trembling in their mitten beds.

“Te-te...”“What te-te...? Watch out, or I’ll spank you!”“Tell us Cinderella, Pookar!” the bunnies timidly asked.Pookar grimaced. “Well, fine. Remind me.”“Once upon a time there was Cinderella. The stepmother and her two

daughters forced Cinderella to work a lot and did not let her go to the ball at the palace. In the palace lived a prince...” the bunnies prompted.

“Then Cinderella, like our Muffy, wanted to get married. Right?” Pookar interrupted.

“Yes. How do you know?” The bunnies were surprised.“Always one and the same! Well, listen to the sequel. Cinderella got

tired of them taking her for a fool and preventing her from having a good time. She whacked the stepmother on the forehead with the glass slipper. The slipper, naturally, went to pieces. Then Cinderella locked the sisters in the basement and ran to the ball herself. There she quickly married the prince and arranged her own business.”

“What business?” The bunnies were surprised.“It’s clear what. With the prince. That was the kind of person she was,

this Cinderella of yours!” Pookar yawned and looked at Sineus and Truvor in the hope that they, too, were inclined to sleep.

It was not so, however. The bunnies were whimpering softly in their mittens but were not going to sleep. “Olga didn’t tell it this way! Ah-h!”

Pookar became extremely annoyed and jumped up and down on the spot. “Well, what else do you want? You want that I tell you about vampires or Blue Beard?”

“Olga didn’t tell us about them! Ah-h!”“I’m tired of your Olga and your fairy tales! I’m asking for the last time:

will you sleep or not? I’ll give you three minutes! Already two! If you don’t fall asleep, I’ll call Freddy with the saw!3 And he’ll cut you up into pieces!” Pookar threatened.

3 This refers to Freddy Krueger from A Nightmare on Elm Street and Jason Voorhees from the Friday the 13th series.







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You can imagine what started here. Pookar had never heard such a loud squeal. Usually Sineus and Truvor would only whine a little bit, but now, what a storm! Pookar nearly went deaf. He darted around the room, not knowing what to do. Lucky for him, Muffin, awakened by the loud crying, came in and calmed the bunnies. At the same time, the cat expressed to Pookar everything she thought of him and even a lot more that she did not. It turned out that, on the whole, the cat did not have a very high opinion of him.

Pookar held his head with his hands. “You meowed out my soul, nasty Muffy! Not on your life! Next time, you tell the fairy tale! This Cinderella of yours is a pain in the neck!”







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Chapter SevenTHE CAT MUFFIN FALLS IN LOVE

The cat Muffin lived according to an exact schedule. She slept during the day and played with Masha in the evening – jumped into Masha’s arms, snuggled up to Masha, rubbed against Masha’s legs, or graciously amused herself with newspaper crumpled into a ball. She pretended to believe that it was a mouse. There were only two games Muffin could not stand: she did not like it when her tail was pulled or when she was harnessed to a cart. In these cases, Muffin bristled up and began to hiss, and once scratched the disgusting boy Peter, who tried to suck Muffin into the vacuum cleaner.

However, on waking up one morning, Olga found the cat in a strange mood. Muffin was rolling on the floor and heartrendingly bawling some special raucous meow.

“What’s with you? Hurt yourself? A headache? Sprained your foot?” Olga asked sympathetically.

Muffin lifted her head and looked at her blearily. “Oh, it’s you! Good that you came, although, in fact, you could also not have come.”

“Why?” Olga was surprised. “You yourself invited me yesterday! You were so cheerful. What happened? You caught a cold? I warned you not to lie in the draught.”

Muffin sighed. “What cold? Can you keep a secret?”“I can. I can do a lot of things: sew, wash, cook dinner, clean the

apartment...” the doll honestly started to itemize, bending her fingers.“Yes, yes! Well, I’ll tell you anyway! I’ve fallen in love,” the cat purred

despondently.“You don’t say! With whom?” Olga was pleased for Muffin.“One of the cats. You don’t know him,” Muffin said.“And who’s he, this cat?”“No one... Nothing special...”“Nothing at all?”“Absolutely. That’s not the point. I love him.”Olga shook her curls. “I don’t understand! My head’s all muddled!”“No wonder. You have nothing there. Some holes for the hair,” Muffin

snorted.Olga was not offended. She was too curious to find out the details of

Muffin’s love. Why these details were necessary to her, she did not know,







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but they were somehow important for the one-and-a-half-year-old doll with blue eyes like all dolls.

“Where did you meet this cat? You’re home all the time,” Olga asked.

Muffin turned over onto her stomach, placed her head on her front paws, and heaved a really deep sigh. “I saw him in the window. He was on a nearby roof serenading.”

“Doing what?”“Singing serenades. Songs.”“And he sang well?”“Couldn’t be worse. Very

poorly,” Muffin admitted.“And you fell in love? You heard this no-need-salt4 and fell in love?” The

doll Olga became all the more interested.“Have to fall in love with someone. Indeed, it’s spring,” the cat

remarked dejectedly.“And what’s he like, your cat? Good-looking?”“Nothing of the kind! An ordinary cat of no pedigree. Most likely lives in

a dumpster and feeds on fish tails,” Muffin shuddered.“What did you see in him?”“I saw nothing in him. NU-THING! I just fell in love! You, doll, are totally

stupid!” the cat shouted. Muffin leaped up and began to pace anxiously around the room. She sniffed, jumped up onto the chairs, started to roll on the floor, and scratched the sofa with her claws.

The tidy Olga did not like this love. It was too restless for her taste. “Why are you suffering? Is it really not possible to love quietly? Curl up by the heater and love!” she advised.

“I’m suffering. You really don’t understand that I’m suffering? I just can’t find a place for myself!”

4 This refers to a 2008 short Russian poem about love that starts with No need salt/No need water/Give me love/...







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“Can’t you fall in love with someone else? Why him? Because he sang no-need-salt?”

“You don’t understand!” the cat shook her head. “He has nothing to do with it. Even if it wasn’t him on the roof or he wasn’t serenading, I’d still fall in love. It’s spring after all, understand?”

Olga straightened her bow. “Vaguely. It turns out that I should fall in love with Pookar only because now it’s spring?”

Muffin swished her tail. “What are you talking about? You’re too young. And your Pookar is just an immature baby doll. Love, it’s only for adults. Sometimes you simply want to fall in love and you do. So? It’s nothing!”

Then the cat’s face became dreamy again, and Muffin, meowing, began to roll on the floor. “The funny thing is...” she said and stopped rolling. “The funny thing is that this will all pass. I know exactly what will happen. After two or three days. This has happened to me several times before.”

The doll Olga listened carefully to Muffin, thought a little, and smoothed her pinafore. A dreamy and hesitant expression suddenly appeared on her calm face. “Know what... Only don’t laugh! Can I also fall in love with him?” Olga suddenly blurted out.

Muffin, from surprise, even calmed down temporarily. “With whom?”“Your cat.”“Why?”“Don’t ask. Just say, yes or no?” Olga demanded, turned red, and puffed

up like a balloon.Muffin paused, looked at the doll, smiled, and purred, “You have to go

and do the same? Well, your problem... Fall in love as you please!”

In the evening Muffin and the doll Olga sat on the windowsill and watched the sun setting behind the multi-storied building. Panting was heard. This was Pookar scrambling along the curtains.

“Aha! Now I’ve found you! Hi, Catmuffy! Hi, Olga! What are you doing here?” he shouted merrily.

Olga turned around. “Ah, it’s only you, Pookar! We’re looking out the window. If you want, you can stay. Only, please, don’t make any noise.”

“What haven’t I seen out this window? A thousand million times I look out it... There!” Pookar slid like a wheel, throwing his short legs up high. Olga and Muffin did not pay him any special attention, and Pookar, having calmed down, also began to look out the window.







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“Oho!” he suddenly yelled. “I know what you’re staring at! There, that guy is washing his car again. Here’s a fool! The whole day he can’t stop and washes, washes all the time... You’d think that he has fallen in love with the car! Let’s throw a flower pot at him. It’ll be fun!”

“In love with a car! How original!” the cat Muffin, who only heard this from Pookar’s long tirade, sighed.

“Much more original! A common pig!” the doll Olga said.“You understand nothing again! Nothing at all,” Muffin waved her off.“Why?”“It’s not important with whom you love. You can fall in love with anyone

or even anything. The object has no significance! What’s important is the state! Love comes not because someone suitable actually appeared beside you, but because it can’t not come. It comes not from outside but inside,” Muffin said.

“How smart you are, Muffy! You’re so smart; no wonder you’re not married!” Pookar breathed out enthusiastically. The cat hissed angrily.

“Steady, Muffin! Hush, Pookar! Let’s just look at the sun!” said Olga.Pookar and the cat obeyed and also began to admire the sunset.







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Chapter EightPOOKAR AND HIS ANTI-GUEST DEFENCE

The doll Olga lived in a little house on the windowsill between the flowerpots. Having a good imagination, one could tell everyone that one has a house with a garden in the mountains. Silver cones sparkled on the railing of the porch. The little house had a small room, a kitchen, and an attic, and was beautifully painted in watercolour.

Pookar lived in an old size-46 boot. It was always as messy in the boot as in his pockets. Things lay in a pile, and Pookar himself usually sat on the very top of the pile to welcome guests.

A large cardboard cookie box served as the home for the bunnies, with windows and doors cut out with scissors. Sineus and Truvor painted the inside with markers and coloured pencils. The bunnies, as you remember, slept in mittens. They were often afraid at night, and the mittens had to be washed in the morning and hung out to dry on the desk lamp. “It smells like a nursery school,” Pookar wrinkled his nose. Apart from the mittens, the bunnies had a table and chairs of empty thread spools in the box. There was also a small mirror, into which the doll Olga loved to look when she visited.

One morning, after waking up in the mitten beds, the bunnies breakfasted on carrot salad, washed down with carrot juice, and decided to go visiting. They took off to Pookar’s.

Pookar was already awake and building something. “Aha!” he said when he saw Sineus and Truvor. “You’re just what I need. I’m building anti-guest traps. Here, hold this rope!”

Pookar hung a large pillow over the door and, satisfied, looked at his own work. “A nice trap! Works as it should! A guest will think it’s the bell, he’ll pull, and the pillow will fall on his head... Boom!”

“Won’t the guest be hurt? It’s probably not nice to throw pillows at those who come to visit you,” the bunnies asked with unease.

“Well, too bad! It’s called E-TI-QUETTE. All of Europe is now busy with only this,” Pookar exclaimed.

“Oh! It must be awfully scary to live in this Europe!”“On the contrary, it’s fun. The host of a home initially kicks a visitor

downstairs or pours shampoo into his tea, and then politely apologizes for any inconvenience. The visitor says, ‘Doesn’t matter, don’t worry! Please come to my place tomorrow for a mug of poison.’”







40

Pookar whirled around the room. He pulled the rope, suspended balls and pillows, hid crackers under seats, and filled water pistols with water. Then he sat down on the doorstep and started to wait patiently.

Finally, the bolder of the two twins, Truvor, ventured to ask, “P-Pookar, but P-Pookar, who are we waiting for?”

Pookar turned his red head to him. “Guests, who else? Why else would I build the traps?”

“But no one will come. Today Olga has this...general cleaning. The cat Muffin is sleeping, and it’s better not to touch her. Otherwise, she decides, half-awake, that you’re a mouse. She hasn’t seen real mice.”

At that moment, a scream and the sound of a fall were heard somewhere close. Pookar darted off from the spot. “What’s that? Who crashed there?”

They ran around a pile of stuff and saw the doll Olga, sitting in a puddle and strewed with feathers from a pillow.

“Where did you come from? You have general cleaning today!” Pookar asked suspiciously.

“I already finished... Now I stumbled over something and this happened!” Olga started to cry.

“I see,” said Pookar. “Never mind, and relax. Nothing terrible has happened... Just a little etiquette. By the way, where did this puddle come from? It wasn’t here earlier.”

“This isn’t a puddle. It’s apple jelly,” Olga uttered through her tears.

“Apple jelly? My favourite apple jelly?” A perplexed expression appeared on Pookar’s face.

“You’ve been asking for a long time, so I made some.”Pookar stamped his foot. “Oh! Why didn’t you warn me that you would

bring jelly? Why? Always intrigues, forever hiding everything from me! What, Olga, you couldn’t carry it more carefully? Who asked you to fall?”

“I’ve always walked here. I don’t know how it happened.”







41

“It was probably your anti-guest trap snapping into action. You see, Pookar, the rope’s tight!” the bunnies Sineus and Truvor explained happily.

Pookar made threatening eyes at them, but it was already too late.“A trap for guests?” Olga repeated slowly. “What kind of trap, nasty

doll?”“Just a little trap. Nothing serious. Not even a trap, but nothing. Just a

string, so short...” Pookar stammered, backing away.“Oh, you bad Pookar! Now I’ll show you!” Olga shouted. She started to chase Pookar, who took to his heels in fear on his short

legs, making excuses on the run, “I didn’t want... It was just a string! Ouch! Not on the back! Better on the head, it’s soft!”

“Here’s to you and apple jelly!” Pookar often repeated afterwards. “And all because of this ETIQUETTE. That I would ever trust good manners!”







42

Chapter NineINVADERS FROM A SHOEBOX

Masha had a cousin Peter, who was already ten. Peter lived with his mama and papa in the city of Tula, but sometimes came to Moscow for a visit. Peter was mean. He pulled Masha’s hair, shot her with a water pistol, and teased her with unpleasant words like crybaby, dummy, runt, and others. It cannot be said that Masha loved Peter and looked forward to his arrival.

This time, Peter brought with him a large box tied up with a string. It would seem that a box was a box, nothing special, but the strange thing was that Peter let nobody look in it. It all started with this box. This is what happened.

“What a nasty one, this Peter! Yesterday he wanted to put me in a pot, and when I scratched him, he ran to complain to Mama. He’s not only a meanie, but also a tattletale,” the cat Muffin complained one day.

Pookar nodded. “I also don’t like Peter. Last time he almost tore my arm off. He wanted to check whether it’s sewn on firmly. Isn’t that stupid?”

The dragonet Flamy was rushing about the room, unsuccessfully trying to catch up with his own tail. “Doesn’t work! Keeps the box under his paws all the time. I wonder what Peter has hiding in there. What do you think, Pookar?” he asked.

Pookar declared that he was getting hungry and could not think on an empty stomach. “Let’s go visit Olga! Just in time for dinner,” he said.

“It’s awkward somehow... We can’t dine at hers every day! We were there yesterday,” Flamy hesitated.

"And the day before, and the day before that,” the cat Muffin added.“We have to go all the more to not break tradition!” Pookar continued to

entice. He did not want to go alone, afraid that Olga would chase him away. “Imagine what a pleasant surprise it’ll be for Olga. She’s probably sitting at the table now and thinking, ‘What am I to do with this jar of mustard?’ She thinks, ‘Let me throw this out, as Flamy won’t be coming today.’ Then she looks at the can of fish and thinks, ‘Will Muffin come visit today? If not, then I’m throwing out everything.’” The cat Muffin licked her lips.

On Flamy’s face was reflected the intense effort of thought. “Pookar, do you think that Olga still has mustard left? And she’s actually going to throw it out?”







43

“Of course. Just yesterday, I heard her say, ‘A full cupboard of this mustard! Should throw them all out, all the same no one eats them,’” Pookar said with inspiration. He was not lying at all. His head was simply arranged so that he believed everything he said.

“Why, she has forgotten about me! Let’s go, quick. We may still have time!” Flamy was scared.

The cat Muffin thoughtfully rubbed her face with a paw. “Of course, Pookar, you exaggerated a lot... You can’t do without that in order not to talk nonsense... But, on the other hand, Olga may in fact throw out the cans of fish. She’s so absent-minded sometimes.”

Pookar climbed onto Muffin’s back, Flamy worked his wings, and they went to Olga’s home.

No one noticed that the lid of the mysterious box had moved aside. At first, a head in a shiny helmet poked out, turned around a bit, and disappeared. Whispering was heard from the box. Someone said, “One! Two! Three!” and a large opening instantly appeared in one of the walls, as if someone had sawed through from inside the box.

Three soldiers, bought as a gift for Peter on his birthday, got out of the opening and looked around. They had been hiding in the box for a few days, waiting for the opportune moment to carry out a sortie and find out whether there was something in the room they could invade.

“Gorilla, have the toys left?” one of the soldiers whispered, looking around. This was a rotund, chubby man in a general’s uniform, appeared very warlike. A polished helmet gleamed on his head.

“Yes, Commander! No, Commander! Don’t know, Commander!” Gorilla said distinctly.

“Shut up, klutz!”“But you yourself asked if they’ve

left. Here I said...”“Enough!!! Silence!!!”







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“As you wish, Commander...” Gorilla was offended. Gorilla was a soldier of enormous size and very strong. He held in his hands a multi-barrel machine gun that fired thumbtacks. A few bombs of chewing gum hung from his belt. Gorilla’s head was small and he was strictly advised against thinking too much.

“Grabber, where are they? Where did these stupid dolls go? Go and have a look!” General ordered.

Grabber was a robot, metallic and shiny. Claws like those of a crab served as his hands. The right claw was in the form of a pair of pliers for grabbing and the left like a pair of scissors for cutting. It was precisely the robot, with his claw-scissors, that had cut a hole in the box, through which the soldiers had climbed out. A gun barrel that fired stickies with a terrible force stuck out of Grabber’s iron stomach. A key jutted out of the robot’s back. It was necessary to wind it every hour, otherwise the robot would switch off.

“I can’t, Commander! I’m not programmed to go and have a look. I’m only programmed to grab!” the robot reported.

“You’re not soldiers, but klutzes! Have to do everything myself. Can’t entrust anything to anyone!” General stamped his feet.

Grabber and Gorilla looked at each other.“General, why did we get out of the box?” Gorilla asked and scratched

his head.“To conquer all indiscriminately, blockhead! First, we’ll take over this

room and these dollhouses will be ours. We’ll build a base here and then attack the ice-cream kiosk. Kids love ice cream very much. We’ll force them to throw away all the toys. Instead of old toys, different kinds of teddy bears, dolls, and bunnies, let them buy pistols and Tommy guns!”

“Good thinking, General! We would never have thought of that!” Gorilla was thunderstruck.

“That’s why I’m the commander and not you!”“General, the toys have come out of the house. They’ll be here in five

minutes. I see two dolls and two midgets with big ears,” Grabber suddenly reported.

“Those are rabbits, you stupid piece of iron! Everybody ready for ambush! When they come closer, we’ll capture them,” General whispered.

Gorilla and Grabber hid in a box and General behind a leg of the bed.“I hid well, right, Commander?” Gorilla yelled from his hiding place.







45

“Shut up, klutz! They’re already close!” General threatened Gorilla with a fist.

The doll Olga was glad to have guests. As Pookar predicted, she had something to treat each of them. Pookar got a whole pot of apple jelly and a plum cake. There was canned fish for Muffin. Olga had stored up a jar of wonderful, very strong mustard for Flamy. Anybody’s eyes would have crawled to their forehead with such mustard, but it suited Flamy’s taste. He even started to snuffle with pleasure. Muffin and Flamy were promptly stuffed and they started to feel drowsy.

“One shouldn’t go for a stroll after lunch! Self-respecting animals sleep after lunch!” Muffin purred, yawning.

“That’s it! And after waking up, we can dine immediately. We’ll grow!” Flamy agreed. He was a rare sleepyhead. After all, he had already slept in the trunk for a hundred years. Muffin and Flamy instantly fell asleep, huddled close to each other.

“You clearly overfed them, Olga! It seems that only I haven’t finished eating!” Pookar remarked. Having said this, he unnoticeably undid his belt and moved it to the last hole.

Olga took the rabbits by the paws and took them for a walk. Pookar lazily dragged himself along behind them, his hands in his pockets. Making small talk, the friends were gradually getting closer to where Grabber, Gorilla, and General were hiding.

When the toys got close enough, General jumped out from behind the leg of the bed and fired a water pistol at Olga. “Hooray! Catch them! No one gets away! Catch them all!”

Gorilla jumped out of the box, confusedly firing the machine gun and yelling, “Stwike! Stwike!” When Gorilla got excited, all the sounds got mixed up in his mouth and he stopped articulating “r.” Grabber was running amuck working his tracks, snapping his claws, and speeding towards the bunnies. “Hold it there, rabbit hats!” he rattled.

At first, victory was on the side of the soldiers. The doll Olga screamed and almost fainted when General spattered her lace apron with a water pistol. Gorilla threw one of the sticky bombs and Truvor’s feet instantly stuck to the floor. In response, Pookar gave General such a push that he fell and became entangled in his sabre, “Help! Untangle me, quick!” General yelled. Grabber, who had almost caught Sineus with his own claws, dropped him and ran to help General.







46

At that moment, Gorilla seized Pookar and raised him high above his head. “Wow, what a sharp little fatty! Won’t get away fwom me!” Gorilla boomed.

Grabber, forgetting about the bunnies, clicked his claws and advanced on Olga. The doll pushed the robot away and said angrily, “Don’t touch me! We’re scarcely acquainted. Your hands are cold!”

Olga accidentally touched the key on Grabber’s back and started to turn it the wrong way. Something clicked in the robot and his tracks starting spinning at different speeds, so that the robot started to travel in circles. Olga had discovered by chance Grabber’s most vulnerable spot. “Damage of working mechanism! Breakdown! Breakdown! Breakdown!” Grabber repeated mechanically.

Pookar was also lucky. When Gorilla lifted him above his own head, a hammer, which Pookar used to crack nuts, fell out of his pocket and almost cracked Gorilla’s forehead. From the other pockets poured pieces of iron, jars, and beetles in matchboxes. All this rained down on Gorilla’s head. “Help! Can’t fight this way!” Gorilla squealed.

A beetle crawled out of a matchbox and bit Gorilla on an ear, and another fell right under his bulletproof vest and began to crawl around there. “I’m ticklish! Ew-w-w-w! T-take this p-pest away!” Gorilla started to jump on the spot and dropped Pookar.

General fired the water pistol at the bunnies and Olga but could not hit them at all, as his helmet was constantly sliding down over his eyes. “Stop! Let’s aim! I have a little water left! Catch them quickly, my brave soldiers! Where are you going, boneheads?”

However, Gorilla had already fled, dragging the machine gun. Grabber rolled behind him, jingling his iron interior. General thought for a bit and ran after his soldiers. “Retreat! Hoorah! Hoorah! Retreat!” he shouted. General realized that under conditions of general panic, an order to retreat would be the most correct. Later, he could tell his soldiers that it had been planned this way from the very beginning.

Pookar got up from the floor. “Great, we thrashed them! Now they won’t bother us for a long time! Only it’s unclear where they came from. They didn’t fall from the sky!”

Olga frowned and almost cried, seeing her dress stained and the blue bow missing. “Pookar, won’t you help me find my bow?”

Pookar looked around. “Aha, here it is! Look, Olga, the box was cut! What could this mean, huh?”







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Olga looked at the box with a hole on the side cut by Grabber’s claws. “The soldiers probably climbed out of the box. Peter himself is mean and he has pushy toys. Look how they soiled my dress! What do I look like now?”

“You look fine!” Pookar comforted her. This did not console Olga.“Where are the bunnies? Where did they go?”“We’re here!” Sineus and Truvor looked out from a half-opened desk

drawer. They were trembling a little and clinging to each other.“Well, you yellow-bellies! You don’t have to be afraid. The soldiers have

run away!” said Pookar.Gorilla looked out from under the bookcase at the other end of the room

and shouted, “General ordered me to tell you that we’ll show you yet! We retreated on purpose!”

“Just try! We’ll beat you again! Take your stupid Peter and get out of here!” Pookar cupped his hands so that his voice sounded louder.

Gorilla threatened him with a fist and disappeared behind the bookcase.







48

Chapter TenACQUAINTANCE WITH SCHOLARCHKIN

When the toys returned to Olga’s home after the battle with the soldiers, Flamy and Muffin were still asleep. Muffin, according to her mood in general, could sleep all day, waking up only in cases of extreme necessity. Now, the cat was probably dreaming that she was clambering along a tall tree, because she was moving her paws and turning her head in her sleep. Flamy occasionally snored, releasing a small fountain of flame and smoke.

Muffin and Flamy were sleeping soundly. No matter how they were shaken or shouted at, it was all in vain. Finally, a lucky thought came into Olga’s head to clink the lid of a pot above their ears. It worked. Immediately the sleepyheads woke up and began to look around. Olga and Pookar described how they had fought with the soldiers.

“How many were there?” Flamy asked.“Three...” Pookar, not very strong in arithmetic, counted on his fingers

just in case.“Then it wasn’t Dobrynya Nikitich,” Flamy sighed with relief.“Who’s this Dobrynya Nikitich?” Pookar asked. “A soldier?”“I already told you about him! Not a soldier, but a hero.”“I saw Dobrynya Nikitich in a picture. He’s on a horse and has a sword,”

the doll Olga said. “Precisely... Then one of us ate the horse and left the sword. As I

remember now, it was such a huge sword,” said Flamy.“How big? How many kilometres-metres-

centimetres-millimetres?” someone’s thin little voice asked suddenly.

Flamy looked around. “Who said that? Did you, Pookar?” he was surprised.

“Neuh-uh, not me,” Pookar said.“I did. How many kilometres-metres-centimetres-

millimetres was the sword?” the same little voice repeated impatiently.

Everyone saw a stranger in large glasses on a snub nose and a funny red cap standing in the doorway of the dollhouse. The stranger had on a green velvet jacket and black shoes with white laces. He was holding a small briefcase in his hands.







49

“Who are you?” Olga was astonished.“Please excuse me!” the guest pronounced stiffly. “I forgot to introduce

myself. I’m the gnome Scholarchkin, physicist-chemist-mathematician.”“Are you from the same box as the soldiers?” the doll Olga asked

suspiciously.“No. I had the honour of arriving here in Masha’s schoolbag. Earlier, I

lived in the school, but now I’ve decided to leave there. I can’t watch how catastrophically the level of education has fallen,” the gnome said.

Pookar opened his mouth to make a spiteful remark, but Muffin gave him a slight smack with her paw. She was a serious cat and loved to talk about clever subjects.

“I utterly agree with you. A disgrace, simply a disgrace! It was all different in our time. The current generation just doesn’t know what they’re missing,” she meowed, turning to Scholarchkin. The two-year-old cat Muffin never studied anywhere but considered herself terribly highly experienced and grown-up. No one convinced her to the contrary, because Muffin, when angry, immediately began to scratch and bite.

“You have the right views, respectable one! I fully agree with you. May I ask, with whom do I have the honour of talking?” the gnome asked.

“Muffin... That is, Martha,” embarrassed, the cat introduced herself.“And I’m Flamy!” said the dragonet.“FLAmy or FlaMY? How should you be correctly struck?” the gnome

asked with an air of importance.The dragon was offended. “No need to strike me. I can surrender!” he

growled.“That’s not what I wanted to say. I’m asking, where is the stress in your

name?”“He’s FLAmy! The stress is on ‘fla’!” clever Olga said. She alone

understood what the gnome had in mind.“I’m Pookar... Olga... He’s Sineus... This is Truvor... That’s the twin

hiding behind Olga... Don’t pay any attention, he’s shy...” the friends were introduced.

“Very, very nice... But let’s return to our conversation. So how many metres-kilometres-centimetres was Dobrynya Nikitich’s sword?” the gnome pulled out an abacus from the briefcase and clicked the beads.

Flamy thought for a bit. “I don’t know exactly how many kilothese there were. But it was like this!” He instantly transformed into a sword, big and heavy. It was immediately clear that this was a real sword for a hero.







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Everybody gasped. They, of course, already knew earlier that Flamy knew how to transform, but when a sword suddenly appeared instead of Flamy, it was impossible not to gasp.

“Curiouser and curiouser! Scientifiker and scientifiker... A curious specimen!” Scholarchkin approved.

The gnome measured the sword with a measuring tape. “Two centimetres three metres five kilometres! To a T,” he said. After clicking the abacus, he took out a small notebook in an emerald binding and recorded the dimensions of the powerful sword.

All the toys, mouths open, watched as the gnome wrote carefully with a red pencil in his little notebook. “Ah! What a poetic look he has... Pity he isn’t a cat...” The cat Muffin was carried away.

Scholarchkin closed the notebook, hid it in the briefcase together with the abacus, and stretched happily. “You have a nice place here! Cosy. Much better than a school desk. I think I’ll stay.”

“Stay, of course. But why did you leave the school? It always seemed to me that it’s nice there,” Olga asked.

“It’s not bad,” Scholarchkin agreed with authority. “But indeed very noisy. Earlier, I suggested the correct answers to those who got twos and they fed me sandwiches. I knew the multiplication table by heart! Imagine! Now, for some reason, I’ve started to forget everything. Three times three is ten. Five times seven is forty-seven. It’s like this every time! Time for a vacation!”

“Where will you live?” Pookar was worried. He liked Scholarchkin, but he did not like the idea at all of that one settling in the boot with him.

“I have a room to spare in the attic. Scholarchkin will be comfortable there. Only have to sweep it,” Olga took the gnome by the hand and led him to see his new home.







51

Chapter ElevenTHE MYSTERIOUS ABDUCTION OF THE BUNNY TRUVOR

The gnome Scholarchkin settled in the attic of the doll Olga’s home. There was no bed, and a small comfortable hammock had to be hung up. The school gnome liked the new room very much. Scholarchkin lay in the hammock all day and made notes in his notebook. In the evening, he told stories, in which it was impossible to believe. So, the gnome claimed that water in a kettle becomes hot when the little things – MOLECULES – in it begin to run quickly.

“That can’t be! These molecules would start to run free. What are they, trained?” Pookar argued.

“I myself have seen them under a microscope! The molecules are small and live in the water like fish. While the water is cold, they swim by themselves quietly, as in a pool, but when the water starts to boil, they dart here and there very quickly,” said the gnome.

“For sure. The poor things! You would dart about this way too if they scalded you with boiling water,” Olga shook her head.

“Hiss-hiss! What are they, these molecules? What do they look like?” Flamy was interested.

Scholarchkin thought for a little bit, rubbed his forehead, and said uncertainly, “Molecules, they’re like insects, only very small.”

Pookar looked maliciously at Olga. “Bugs and roaches? Doll, you’ve been fighting with roaches but don’t know that they’re swimming in your tea and washing your feet. Watch you don’t choke on some bugs.”

Pookar’s words worked. Olga’s face became tearful; she waved her hands and ran out of the room. “Got into a bad mood. Now she’ll sulk for an hour! Does she really have to be so stupid?” Pookar shrugged.

After their defeat, Gorilla, General, and Grabber appeared no more, and they were gradually forgotten. It was even believed that the soldiers had moved to another room, but it was not so, and the opportunity to make sure of it soon introduced itself. Unpleasant things began to happen in the room. A piece of twine, on which Pookar usually hung his socks out to dry, disappeared. At first, no one paid the disappearance any attention because Pookar was always a scatterbrain. However, when Olga’s favourite pot with white polka dots vanished, the toys gathered together and started to think.







52

Pookar assumed a serious look. “Tsk-tsk, the case is clear! We can’t manage without a sleuth here. I’ll be Sherlock Holmes, and you, Sineus, will be Dr. Watson. Do you understand, Sineus?” he said.

“Yes,” the bunny whispered, dropping his eyes and timidly fidgeting with a foot.

“Who’s this Sherlock Holmes?” asked Flamy.“Sherlock Holmes is a great researcher, and Dr. Watson is his

assistant.”Pookar pulled the deerstalker to his eyes and strolled around the room. “Watson, do you have any ideas?”

“Nada,” the bunny babbled, barely audibly.“So, it’s clear,” Pookar said meaningfully. “No one has any ideas? Then

I’ll start.” The great detective turned around and closed his eyes. “One, two, three, four, five, I’ll go search! Look out, pot thief! The great Holmes goes on the warpath!”

“Better tell me where’s the pot? Is it you who stole it?” Olga hurried him, watching out for Pookar’s tricks without any special acknowledgement.

“First conclusion.” Pookar straightened the deerstalker. “If there’s no pot, then it means someone took it, because pots don’t walk by themselves. Second conclusion: the one who took it was probably very hungry, because only a very hungry creature can eat the sour kasha that Olga cooks.”

“What did you say? My kasha is sour? If it’s sour, who asked you to gobble it up?” Olga was offended.

“I eat the kasha out of sympathy,” said Pookar.“Here, I’ll show you sympathy! Are you actually going to find the pot or

just chitchat?” Olga flew into a rage.“I’m going to. I’ll find it in no time at all. But first, let’s find out if the pot

was lost at all. Perhaps you hid it somewhere so as not to cook dinner? Ah-h, mama!” Fleeing from Olga, Pookar quickly hid behind the cat Muffin and from there bravely stuck his tongue out at Olga.

It was not known how far the fighting would have gone but at that moment Flamy suddenly shouted, “Look! There’s our pot running!” Everyone looked around and saw that the pot was quickly crawling along the floor to the other side of the room. It was crawling by itself, completely inexplicably.

“Quick! We still have time to catch it!” Pookar shouted.“A scientific sensation! A self-moving pot!” The gnome Scholarchkin was

delighted.







53

Everybody except the frightened bunnies, who remained in the house, rushed after the pot. Flamy flew ahead. Muffin rushed behind him with soft bounds, Scholarchkin clinging to her tail. Pookar barely kept pace behind the cat. Olga, holding her skirt, ran last.

“Of course, milk boiled over at my place. But this, a pot running off, this has never happened to me!” Olga muttered under her breath.

Meanwhile the pot was crawling quietly by itself along the floor, sometimes stopping as if teasing its pursuers. From the outside, one would think that it was just going for a walk. Very soon, the friends overtook it. Flamy grabbed the handle with his teeth and held it until the others arrived. The cat Muffin arched her back and hissed. The pot did not stir anymore and did not try to crawl away.

“It’s not running by itself; someone was dragging it with a rope,” said Scholarchkin, walking around the pot and looking at it through a magnifying glass.

“This is my sock string that disappeared!” Pookar yelled suddenly.The friends all looked at each other. They understood nothing.“It’s probably the soldiers. But why did they have to drag the pot by a

rope?” said Olga.“Quite mysterious. A secret, shrouded in mystery... Look, Sineus is

running to us!”Stumbling, Sineus ran up to the toys. He was so agitated that he could

not utter a word but only waved his paws. Olga had to take him into her arms and hold him tight.

“He’s shaking like a jackhammer!” Pookar said in amazement.Only after five minutes did Sineus manage to utter, “Truvor... The

soldiers stole Truvor! They also wanted me, but I hid!”“It can’t be!”“They waited until you ran after the pot and stole Truvor! They thought

up everything on purpose! It’s all that tubby, whose helmet slides down over his eyes!”







54

Chapter TwelveFLAMY SAVES TRUVOR

General stood beside a map in his headquarters behind the bookcase and thoughtfully traced with a finger on the map, pretending to think. The map was drawn on a scrap of wrapping paper and portrayed the room from above. Gorilla had drawn the map and it turned out to be extremely confusing. It was dusty behind the bookcase. Gorilla was constantly sneezing so loudly that everything around shook.

“Can you sneeze any louder, bird brain?” General shouted at him.“Yes, I can,” Gorilla growled. “Achoo!” It was such a powerful sneeze

that the map was torn off from the wall. The helmet flew off General’s head and smacked against the wall. Bang!

“Klutz! You’ll give us away! Why don’t you put in some work with your head for a change?” General stamped his feet.

“Yes, Commander! As you say! Bang!” Gorilla rammed his forehead into the wall and smiled contentedly.

“I’ll shoot you, idiot!” General pulled out his pistol.“Neuh-uh, don’t shoot!” Gorilla shook his head.“Why?”“Gee! Your water was all gone there.”The kidnapped bunny Truvor was sleeping on a chair in front of General.

Since he was a little bunny, he was used to sleeping during the day. Gorilla’s terrible sneeze had woken Truvor. The bunny woke up and began to tremble. General saw that Truvor had opened his eyes and was overjoyed.

“Finally! We’ve been waiting for two hours for you to wake up! Tell me the military secret!”

“I don’t know any secret,” Truvor muttered.General pouted. It seemed a little longer and he would start to cry. “So

boring! If you don’t know, then think. Come up with something!” he ordered.

“I would love to, but I’m still little and I can’t,” Truvor whimpered.“Fine!” General got angry. “If you don’t want to meet us half-way, then

don’t... Then we’ll torture you! Gorilla, proceed!”“Proceed with what?”“Torture, half-wit!!!”







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Gorilla scratched the back of his head, walked hesitantly to Truvor and made a savage face. “Humph! Now I’ll eat you! How I love eating little bunnies!”

Truvor raised his sleepy face and saw Gorilla’s silly face. He stopped crying, looked for some time in bewilderment at the grimacing Gorilla, and suddenly burst out laughing! Among all the toys, Truvor was the one that laughed the easiest.

“Stop! Come here, Gorilla! I’ll explain to you how to torture!” General was furious. He was so mad and turned so red that his helmet became red-hot.

Gorilla obediently went to General and they began to whisper. Then Gorilla rolled up his sleeves and approached the bunny. His arms were huge, hairy, and terrifying. “Tell me the secret or I’ll torture you by tickling!” he said and began to tickle the bunny.

Meanwhile, the bunny’s friends were thinking of how to rescue him and chase the soldiers away from the room.

“Just so you don’t poke your nose into them, they have these nasty pistols that fire burrs and paint. They instantly stain from head to toe,” said Olga.

“Do you want me to smoke them out from there?” Flamy released a jet of flame from his nostrils.

The cat Muffin fanned the smoke away with a paw, “Forget it! You’ll set something on fire!”

Sineus pleadingly touched the school gnome with a hot paw. “Think of something, Scholarchkin! You’re so smart! Think a bit and you’ll definitely come up with something!”

Scholarchkin frowned and began to walk around the room. He was not accustomed to thinking in a different way except on his feet. He had to walk. Olga even woke up at night sometimes because a restless Scholarchkin walked in the attic above her head.

Flamy and Muffin watched Scholarchkin tensely. Their heads turned, following him right-left, right-left. Several minutes passed this way. Then the gnome suddenly jumped and shouted, “I have an idea!”

An hour later General, Gorilla, and Grabber were playing hide-and-seek. It was the only game they knew. Perhaps if they had known more games, the desire to fight would have disappeared by itself. The soldiers left the bunny Truvor at the headquarters behind the bookcase. After plenty of tickling, the heartily laughing Truvor had fallen asleep and was snoring







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quietly in the chair. He knew no military secrets and the soldiers had lost all interest in him.

The game of hide-and-seek had only just begun. The robot Grabber was “it.” He stood, eyes closed, and counted to five. The robot was the only one of all the soldiers who could be “it” honestly, without peeking. Grabber’s voice was raspy because he had not been oiled for a long time.

“One, two, three, three, three, three, three...” Grabber rattled on.“Jammed again!” General said angrily, climbing out from under an old

newspaper. He ran to the robot and turned the key in the back. Then he quickly crawled under the newspaper, trying not to rustle the pages.

“Three... three... four... five... Here I come!” Grabber counted and opened his eyes.

Two light bulbs served as his eyes. When the robot closed his eyes, the bulbs turned off. Now the bulbs lit up. Grabber looked all around attentively. Nobody! The robot turned his tracks on to the quietest speed and went seeking.

“Hi, I’m here!” The robot suddenly heard a loud unfamiliar voice behind his back. Grabber whipped around and clicked his claws, but saw no one, only an old red ball lying on the floor. Grabber’s eyes glowed so brightly in perplexity that the bulbs almost burnt out. When he turned back, the red ball was gone.

Grabber found Gorilla soon enough. He was hiding in the body of a wheel-less toy truck, which had been lying about behind the bookcase for a few months. The giant quickly tired of being in the truck. He started to putter and sigh loudly. The truck was shaking completely and almost broke apart.

Gorilla and Grabber forgot about General, found a big tennis ball, and began to throw it. General, lurking under the newspaper, was glad at first that no one found him, and then became a little bored, but near the end almost howled from idleness. He suddenly realized that no one was looking for him and got out from under the newspaper. He was immediately knocked over by the ball, which Grabber threw with force.

“Halfwit!!! You should be looking for me!” General yelled.“Excuse me, Commander! But you always get mad when I find you.

Today you were hiding under the newspaper. You rustled and the helmet peeked out,” the robot growled.

General stamped his foot, sulked, and grumbled that they were all blockheads and it was not clear at all why he played with them. “Let’s go to







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headquarters! We’ll plan some mean trick for those toys!” a dissatisfied General grumbled.

When the soldiers reached headquarters, Gorilla’s foot suddenly hit against a round object. “I have found a new ball! Orange!” Gorilla was overjoyed, lifting his leg.

“Wow! What a huge orange! How did we miss it earlier? Don’t you dare kick it! It’s very tasty!” General grabbed the orange.

“My orange! I found it!” Gorilla growled.“I recognized it! Without me, you would think it’s a ball!” General went

for his pistol but remembered that it was not charged.“I found it!” Gorilla advanced threateningly on General.“Very well, I’ll share with you! The orange is big, enough for two,”

General recollected suddenly. He hoped that Gorilla would forget about the orange and he could eat it by himself.

After entering their little house made of newspapers, the soldiers put the orange on the table and stared suspiciously at each other. General smiled unnaturally. Gorilla’s eyes shone with undisguised greed.

“D-don’t y-you want to wash your hands?” General asked as casually as possible.

“No, I don’t! I never wash them!” Gorilla kept his eyes on the orange.“Bad! Oranges can only be eaten with washed hands! Otherwise, they

explode. You won’t have time to open your mouth and – Bam! – it blows you up like a soft-boiled egg!” General lied.

Suspicion started to stir on Gorilla’s stupid face. “Then let’s wash hands together! Let the orange lie here for the time being!” he said.







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Leaving Grabber on guard, General and Gorilla got out from behind the bookcase and rinsed their hands in a small puddle. The neighbours above left traces of water all over the floor, constantly flooding Masha’s room, and the puddle never dried. After washing, the soldiers rushed to the orange.

“Keep the peel for me!” General was crafty.“No, for me! Me! Me!” Gorilla argued.“Well, as you want... I’ll let you have the peel! All right, I’ll take the

flesh,” General yielded.He decided to cheat the simple-minded Gorilla, and he would have

succeeded, but when they returned to headquarters, they found that... the ORANGE had disappeared!!!

“Where is it? What have you done with it?” The soldiers pounced on Grabber.

“No one came into the room! No one went near the orange. Only the two of you!” the robot rattled.







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Knowing that Grabber could not lie, General and Gorilla stared at each other with suspicion.

“It’s you! You took it!” General lost his temper.“No, you! Give me my orange quickly!” Gorilla began to shake General

like a kitten. General’s teeth started chattering. “A d-d-dis-s-grac-c-ce! L-let go r-right

now! I’m your co-commander!”Grabber moved around the two and clicked his claws. He did not know

whose side to take. Suddenly laughter rang out above the soldiers’ heads. “Ha-ha! Hiss-hiss!

Ha-ha! Ha-ha!”The soldiers instantly stopped fighting and looked up. Nobody!“Ha-ha! What fools! Ha-ha!”It was worthwhile to see the soldiers’ faces at that moment. The helmet

flew off General and his mouth opened by itself! Gorilla became red and again stopped articulating “r,” “Help! Spook! Tewible wobber!”

Grabber’s tracks started to turn in different directions. The light bulbs flashed brightly. He fired a sticky at random from the gun barrel at his stomach. The sticky flew away into space and was seen no more.

“What fun! Oh, I can’t, funny!” A cheerful voice rang out near the ceiling.

All of a sudden, one more General, similar to the former, like a twin brother, appeared beside Gorilla. “Hiss-hiss! Klutz! Grab that General! He’s an impostor! Iron, forward!” General growled.

“I’m real! Hands off! Not me, grab him!” The real General was scared.The two Generals ran around headquarters and got entangled once and

for all. Gorilla’s mouth fell open and he could not move. Grabber rushed from one General to the other, clicked his claws, and repeated, “Conflicting data! Conflicting data!”

Then one of the two Generals disappeared and a twin Gorilla appeared instead. “Guard! Substitute! Wun for your life!” the twin shouted.

“Mama! I’m scared!” the real Gorilla yelled and ran right through the wall out of the headquarters made of newspapers. Grabber rolled out after him.

A scared General raced behind. He held his helmet and yelled, “Wait, where are you going? It’s not according to regulations! I should be the first to retreat!”







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No sooner had the soldiers run out when a terrible crash was heard. It was Pookar’s anti-guest traps snapping into action. While Flamy was distracting General, Gorilla, and Grabber, Pookar and Olga stretched ropes and built anti-guest traps.

A ripped-open pillow fell on Gorilla. He immediately had a fit of sneezing, clucked incoherently like a harassed chicken, and fired the machine gun until the thumbtacks ran out. Grabber was tangled in the ropes and dangling in the air, turning his tracks. General found himself in an empty jam jar. The jar had been placed sideways, and General had barely run into it when the lid was closed. “Boo-boo! Boo-boo-boo-boo!” came from the jar.

Then the friends freed the bunny Truvor. Sineus and Truvor were so pleased that they were back together that they even started crying. They naturally wiped their tear-stained faces on the doll Olga’s apron.

“Well? You need this!” Olga said severely to the soldiers.“We won’t do it again! Please forgive us!” Gorilla whimpered, wiping his

nose with his huge fist.“Boo-boo-boo-boo! Boo-boo-boo-boo!” rang out from the jar.“General says that he’ll try to reform,” Scholarchkin translated.Flamy flew out of the newspaper house, extremely satisfied. “How did I

have them? ‘Bang!’ with the tail. And he, ‘Mama!’ How that one jumps, but the piece of iron, that one generally... How he falls! Hiss-hiss! And this one in the helmet, when he sees me, thinks that it’s him! Great! And I to him, ‘There! Here I am for you!’ And he, ‘Ah-h!’” Although Flamy’s story was incoherent, he had success with the audience. The cat Muffin even asked with an “encore!” for a repeat giving more attention to details.

“What shall we do with the soldiers? Perhaps let them go?” the doll Olga interrupted Flamy.

“Let’s tickle them! Let them tell their military secrets! I like that a lot!” the bunny suggested timidly.

“Mama! I’m afraid of tickling! I’m not playing this way!” Gorilla howled. He hopped away on one leg with tremendous speed, dragging the pillow with him. The second leg was caught in the pillowcase. Grabber ran after him, rumbling his iron interior. Behind them, looking back, ran General. “You forgot me! The boss should retreat first!” he yelled.

“Lost your helmet! Which way?” the friends shouted after him.After a few days, Peter left for Tula and took the box with the soldiers

with him.







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Chapter ThirteenTHE PICNIC ON THE ROOF

For a long time Pookar, Olga, and Scholarchkin could not decide whether to tell Masha about Flamy. However, it all happened by itself.

“Hiss-hiss! I can’t hide my whole life. After all, she isn’t Dobrynya Nikitich. Why shouldn’t we meet? I think my mama wouldn’t mind,” Flamy said.

“But you could become invisible,” the doll Olga proposed cautiously.“It’s boring to be invisible all the time! Everyone looks at you like at an

empty spot. Pity!” Flamy was upset.“Well, then go, meet, once you’ve made up your mind! You’ll die from

uncertainty!” said Pookar.When Masha was home, Flamy got out of the cabinet, where he was

hiding. He walked over to the girl and nudged her with his head.“Don’t bother me, Muffin! Can’t you see that I’m busy?” Masha said,

thinking that it was the cat. However, she still looked down and saw a green dragonet with yellow eyes and small wings on his back.

Flamy looked fondly at the girl and uttered, “Hi! I’m Flamy!”“And I’m Masha,” the slightly bewildered girl said.“Phew,” Flamy sighed in relief, “now we’ve met! Now we can chat about

some polite topic. Do you have mustard?”“Mustard? In the fridge, probably,” Masha said, surprised.“Will you let me take it?”“Yes, of course. Do you want me to bring it?”“Don’t worry. I ate it all yesterday,” Flamy bragged.“Why ask then?”“Just because. To keep conversation going,” Flamy spun around on the

spot, trying like a cat to catch his tail. Only his tail was green and thin with notches. “I can never catch it! An absolutely unpredictable tail. No matter how I try, it always manages to slip away at the last moment,” he complained.

Masha hesitantly touched the shiny scales on Flamy’s back. She could not believe that her conversational partner existed in reality.

“Do you like me? You can pet me!” Flamy gave her permission.“You’ve already met? Then let’s play!” Pookar shouted, leaning out of

his boot-home.“What are we going to play?”







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“Nothing! We’re going for a walk on the roof.” Pookar jumped out of the boot. He was in his usual field outfit: a pot on his head and a bottle-opener in his hands.

“I don’t know. Of course, I’ve almost done my homework, but...” Masha said doubtfully.

“No ‘buts’... Great adventures don’t wait!” Pookar was indignant.Masha agreed to take a walk on the roof with the condition that none of

the toys would go up to the edge. “It’s dangerous!” she said. Muffin also started to make up her mind. The roof was the place the cat always longed to be. There she could casually meet her beloved cat. Hoping for that, Muffin washed with a paw and made herself pretty.

By a lucky chance, the hatch to the roof turned out not to be locked. The roof was flat, enclosed by handrails along the edges. There was a light breeze. Flamy immediately began to fly and Pookar ran.

Muffin quietly looked around and, realizing there were no cats, got upset. “Didn’t much want to!” she murmured to herself under her breath.

Masha walked around the roof a little bit, at first carefully, then more boldly. She even risked looking down, holding the handrail tightly. Somewhere far away cars, looking like toys, were going by.

“Look what I can do!” Flamy yelled and deftly looped in the air. He became so twisted that for a moment his head and tail almost touched. Masha even caught her breath. She was afraid that Flamy would fall, though she was afraid in vain. Flamy descended onto the roof next to the girl.

“Never do that again! It’s even scary to look at,” Masha requested. Flamy stuck out his long forked tongue. He always did this when he was satisfied.

Pookar looked around in search of new entertainment. His eyes caught the TV antenna. It was a thin metal tube, from which iron feelers came out on both sides. “What an outstanding swing! Now we’ll have fun!” he shouted and rushed to the antenna.

Pookar and Flamy caught hold of the opposite ends of an antenna element and started rocking. They squealed with delight and each time took off even higher.

“Come to us!” they shouted to Masha. “Now no one can watch TV all over the building! You’re shaking the

antenna!” Masha threw up her hands.







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“Nonsense! What fool would be watching TV during the day!” Pookar dismissed it and rocked even harder.

However, just at that moment, Pirozhkov and Avdokhina turned on the TV to watch the news. Neither Pirozhkov’s nor Avdokhina’s TV was working. The screen only flickered.

“Probably something with the antenna! Have to take a look!” Pirozhkov thought and ran out of the apartment. He certainly would have caught the pranksters, but Muffin heard him pounding up the stairs. The cat quickly slapped Masha with a paw, forcing her to listen.

“Here they come! Hide, quick!”Pookar and Flamy jumped down from the antenna and started to rush

about the roof.













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“Quick, behind the vent!” Masha, who had already managed to hide, called them.

Pookar and Flamy dived for it. At that moment, the omnipresent Pirozhkov appeared on the roof and looked around suspiciously. He looked for a second at the vent, and it seemed to Masha, who was peering out from there, that Pirozhkov noticed her. However, she was lucky. Pirozhkov turned away and walked over to the antenna, still continuing to shake.

“Strange! No wind, but the antenna is shaking. I don’t understand!”Pirozhkov reached out and held back the antenna. At that very moment,

Avdokhina appeared on the roof. She had also decided to come up and see what was happening. The first one Avdokhina saw was Pirozhkov, doing some tricks with the antenna.

Avdokhina already had a low opinion of Pirozhkov earlier. After the recent incident with the doors, this opinion did not improve. Now, Pirozhkov had taken it into his head to shake the antenna. Avdokhina thought that he had gone nuts. “He’ll even drop from the roof, wacko!” she thought and, having decided not to curse, quickly hid behind a vent pipe – fortunately not the one where Masha and Flamy were, but another. Hiding behind the vent, Avdokhina accidentally stepped on a piece of rusty iron.

Pirozhkov heard a noise and, turning, saw Avdokhina dive behind the vent. He thought that she had been shaking the antenna to annoy him and then hid. Since Avdokhina rode the elevator and held the door to his apartment, Pirozhkov considered that she was capable of any dirty trick. Now he would tell her everything he thought of her! Pirozhkov rushed to Avdokhina.

Seeing that Pirozhkov was running towards her, waving his hands, Avdokhina froze and issued a high, prolonged scream. “Murder! Help!” she wailed, sliding down the stairs.

Pirozhkov ran after her. “I’ll fix you! I’ll expose you, you saboteur!”When Avdokhina and Pirozhkov were out of sight, Pookar, Flamy, and

Masha looked out from behind the vent.“Not bad fun! You, Masha, will have something to remember in your old

age.”Masha laughed. She was still a long way from old age.







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Chapter FourteenADVENTURES IN SCHOOL

Pookar, Scholarchkin, Flamy, and the doll Olga were tired of sitting at home all the time, and they urged Masha to take them to school with her. For a long time the girl would not yield. She was not sure that the naughty ones would be able to behave quietly. However, Masha made up her mind in the end. “If I leave Pookar and Flamy at home, they’ll horse around again. At school, I’ll be able to keep an eye on them.”

Scholarchkin, Pookar, and Olga climbed into her backpack. The dragonet Flamy flew behind. He took the opportunity to stretch his wings. Naturally, he became invisible so as not to attract attention.

“I’ll put you in the desk! Sit quietly and don’t make a noise! I didn’t have time to study math yesterday and now I’m afraid that I’ll be asked!” She threatened Pookar with a finger.

In class, Masha took out a textbook from her backpack and pushed the backpack deeper under her desk so that if the toys started to whisper, they would not be heard.

“We’ll start the lesson. Now I’ll check your homework!” the teacher Anna Ivanovna said directly from the doorway.

She was quite young, just from the Institute, and all the time it seemed to her that she was not taken seriously. She gave twos to the pupils without a special reason, and paled and pursed her lips at the sight of the principal. The principal of Masha’s school was very strict, and with a truly pirate cruelty liked to summon parents and give them heat. His name was Egor Petrovich.

Pookar quickly became bored in the backpack and nudged Olga. “Phew! No fun this way. I’m not going to hang around here all my life!”

“Don’t push!”Olga wanted to return the favour and pinched Pookar. He pulled her

braid. She whimpered and began concentrating on twisting his ear. “If you tear it off, you’ll have to sew it back on!” Pookar hissed.Masha heard the racket and looked under her desk. The teacher Anna

Ivanovna looked up from the journal.“Sviridova! You can’t sit still? To the board with your homework!” the

teacher said severely.Masha felt cold. Why had she not been asked yesterday, when

everything was all right? The unlucky is so unlucky.







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“Sviridova! What are you waiting for? Not ready?”If Masha answered “no, not ready,” it would be a certain two and

perhaps her parents would even be summoned to the school. The girl froze, not knowing what to do.













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“Don’t be afraid! I’ll help you!” the gnome Scholarchkin whispered and slipped into Masha’s pocket. Pookar climbed after him to escape from the doll Olga.

Masha went to the blackboard. The teacher opened the textbook. “The problem: the train goes at fifty kilometres an hour. How long will it take the train to get from city A to city B if the distance between the cities is a thousand kilometres?”

Masha started to wait for Scholarchkin’s help. It was her only hope of not getting a two. However, before the gnome could open his mouth, Pookar said, “A week, no less. That is, if the driver doesn’t fall out of the locomotive!”

“A week!” Masha took Pookar’s voice for Scholarchkin’s. However, she immediately understood from the teacher’s face that she had made a mistake.

“What kind of circus are you making for me? Huh, Sviridova?” Anna Ivanovna frowned sternly.

“It’ll take the train twenty hours!” Scholarchkin whispered and covered Pookar’s mouth so he would not meddle again.

“The trip from city A to city B will take twenty hours,” Masha confidently wrote the answer on the board. Anna Ivanovna looked at her with surprise and moved the journal away. “Correct. Now add 498 and 894.”

“1392!” Masha blurted out after Scholarchkin.The teacher was even more surprised. She asked questions again and

again, and Masha immediately gave the answers. It seemed suspicious to Anna Ivanovna. Moreover, Masha had not distinguish herself with an ability for mathematics before.

“You think you can cheat, Sviridova? What do you have in your pocket? A calculator? Well, hand it over!”

Masha was frightened. What would the teacher say when she saw Pookar and Scholarchkin? Anna Ivanovna held out her hand and looked expectantly at her. Masha wanted above all to sink through the floor.

At this point, someone knocked imperiously and the principal entered the classroom. As usual, he was absorbed and holding a thick stack of journals in his hands.

“How’s the class?” The principal looked at Anna Ivanovna.







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“Well, Egor Petrovich, Sviridova here brought a calculator to class. You yourself forbade the use of a calculator in lessons!” The teacher, for some reason, started to move the paper on the table.

Masha froze: what would it be now? If only she would get a two! The girl knew Egor Petrovich well. He would summon her parents for sure! Why had she yielded to the persuasion of the toys? However, the principal was acting odd today.

“A calculator, you say? What’s a calculator? Is it tastier than mustard?” The principal skipped to the teacher and slammed the journal. Then

Egor Petrovich somersaulted and hung in the air for a second. The teacher looked at him and just opened and closed her mouth. Good that she had a young, healthy heart! Masha and all her classmates also froze with wide-open eyes. It is not every day you see the principal somersaulting and shouting, “Hooray! Endless vacation! Down with school!”

It is impossible to describe what happened next. The principal ran around the classroom and tossed textbooks up in the air. There was no doubt the children were not too disturbed by this. One eager round-headed boy even threw his backpack out the window and then had to run onto the street after it.

Anna Ivanovna first sat quietly and then began to sob barely audibly. It was obvious that she was still very young, almost a girl.

The principal Egor Petrovich began stroking her on the head and repeating, “Calm down, goosey! Hiss-hiss! Just don’t cry! Do you want me to raise your salary a thousand times? No? A million?”

Here it was as if lightning struck Masha! Flamy! He did all this! He became the principal to help her. Masha became uncomfortable; she ran up to the teacher and quickly began to explain, “This isn’t the real principal! He’s a messenger! In reality, he’s a young dragon. Only don’t tell anyone!”

“Very well!” Anna Ivanovna assured her. “I won’t tell anyone. I’ll never, never tell anyone!”

She held her head in her hands and ran out of the classroom. The first one she came across was the real Egor Petrovich, who was coming up the stairs to meet her.

“Why aren’t you in class? What’s that noise?” The teacher stared at the principal with mad eyes. “You just promised to

raise my salary a million times! Please don’t forget! Tomorrow I’ll bring a suitcase especially. And why did you stop somersaulting, Egor Petrovich?”







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Anna Ivanovna and the principal ran into the classroom. However, everything there was already quiet. The children were quietly solving mathematical problems. Masha had time to warn them.

“I don’t understand!” Egor Petrovich was at a loss. He went with Anna Ivanovna to the office to take valium.

Masha decided from then on never to bring Pookar and Flamy to school.







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Chapter FifteenFLAMY SEARCHES FOR MAMA

Once Masha, the doll Olga, Flamy, and Pookar watched a cartoon about dinosaurs on TV. The prehistoric monsters were rushing about on the screen, biting, flying, and devouring leaves from treetops. There were also pterodactyls, the enormous flying pterosaurs, and tyrannosaurs, and all kinds of small dinosaurs. All this reminded Masha of school recess, when everybody was running, shouting, and pushing so senselessly.

The cartoon was interesting. Masha could not tear herself away from the screen. Suddenly, she heard someone sobbing nearby. The girl turned and saw that a large clear tear was crawling down Flamy’s face and he was trying to lick it off with his long forked tongue.

“It reminded me of my mama. I miss her so!” said Flamy.“How did you get lost?”“I decided to travel. I still couldn’t fly. When I crossed a branch of the

river, the current carried me away. I swam for a few days and was very tired. Then I got into the trunk and fell asleep. Who would know that the smell of mothballs lulls dragons to sleep? If it weren’t for you, I would’ve slept a hundred years more.”

“Poor thing! If you want, I’ll be your mother.” Masha felt sorry for Flamy.

Flamy put his head on the girl’s knees. “Don’t be offended! You’re nice, but I would like to find my own mama.”

“So let’s search for her! I’ll find your mama in five minutes! What are we doing just sitting here and wasting time?” Pookar yelled impatiently.

Masha picked up Pookar and gave him a good shake. “Be quiet, please! Don’t disturb us!”

Pookar sulked, upset, but then saw a bowl of sweets, got into it, and began to munch on a cookie.

“We have to ask the gnome Scholarchkin. He knows everything. For sure he knows about your mama too,” Olga proposed.

Scholarchkin got out of the hammock and began to walk on the windowsill. Flamy, eyes wide, looked trustingly at him.

“Eureka!” the gnome uttered five minutes later. “When I was a child, my mother constantly repeated what I should do if I were lost. Go to any respectable old mouse and say, ‘Hello, my name is Scholarchkin. I live in the school, behind the radiator. Could you help me find my mama?’”







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“I also remember. When we went to Disneyland, Mama told me to wait for her near the castle if I got lost!” Masha said.

“Were you lost?” Flamy asked hopefully.“No, I wasn’t,” Masha frankly admitted. “That’s it, and yet you say...” Flamy sighed. He seemed dejected and

unhappy. Suddenly, however, Flamy’s face brightened as if he had a good idea.

“I remember. My mother taught me to whistle the special dragon whistle! Three times! At three in the afternoon! Then she’ll hear and find me.”

“What’s this special dragon whistle?” Pookar, dying of curiosity, stuck his head out of the bowl of cookies.

“I studied with Nightingale the Robber.5 After Ilya Muromets6 knocked out his teeth, Nightingale could not whistle, and until he had new ones put in, he worked as a tutor,” Flamy said.

Olga looked at her watch. “It’s already three! Time to whistle.”“It’s always three on your toy watch! The hands are stuck.” Pookar

contemptuously waved his chubby hand.All the same, at three o’clock Flamy went out onto the balcony and

asked everyone to cover up their ears. He said that one could easily become deaf from a dragon’s whistle. The cat Muffin did not believe it and afterwards rubbed her ears with a paw for a long time.

Flamy’s whistle instantly opened the windows in all of the neighbouring homes and threw up a whole pile of garbage and papers. Some people later claimed that there was a hurricane in Moscow. Pirozhkov even intended to complain somewhere but never did.

“Well! Hopefully Mama will come for me. It’s unlikely that she has forgotten me for a hundred years,” Flamy said.

“My mama would never forget me for a thousand years. Unfortunately, I’m from an assembly line,” Pookar sighed.

5 Nightingale the Robber is the legendary robber from epic poetry of Kievan Rus. He lived in a forest on the road to Kiev and was known for stunning strangers with his powerful whistle while sitting in a tree.6 Ilya Muromets is one of the greatest of all Kievn Rus epic hero. He is believed to be a 12th

century warrior who became a monk in later life. One of his first feats was defeating Nightingale the Robber.







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Chapter SixteenPIROZHKOV AND THE PINK ELEPHANT

Once the gnome Scholarchkin told the friends about the zoo. “What’s not there! Bears, giraffes, lions, zebras, and on the whole, everything, everything.”

“Everything? Are there cats?” Muffin purred curiously.“I don’t think so. Except for some strays. No, no cats,” said

Scholarchkin.Muffin sighed with disappointment.“Cockroaches?” Pookar asked.“No cockroaches,” the dwarf admitted.“Dragons? Tell me, have you seen at least one dragon there?” Flamy

asked with hope.“Not one,” Scholarchkin said frankly.Pookar burst out laughing. “It’s still called a zoo! No cats, no dragons,

no cockroaches. I wouldn’t go to such a stinking zoo for any money! And don’t try to talk me into it!” Pookar declared, although no one was trying to persuade him personally.

“But then our home has a cat, a dragon, and cockroaches. It turns out that our apartment is a thousand times better than a zoo. No need to go anywhere, and no line at the cashier,” Olga agreed with Pookar for the first time.

At that moment, the thought flashed in Pookar to open a zoo in the room. He immediately shared his idea with the others. “We could charge a high entrance fee. For example, a fish, a jar of mustard, a raisin pie, and thirty-two cakes for each visitor.”

“Fish, this is very good,” the cat Muffin said, licking her lips. “But why so many cakes?”

“For the zoo director.”“And who will be the director?”“Me, naturally,” Pookar dropped his eyes.The next day Pookar got up earlier than usual and began to sort through

the enormous pile of all sorts of things, which occupied half of all the living space of his house-boot.

“Where are they? Should be here. I remember, I stuck them somewhere here,” Pookar muttered.







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Different and unexpected objects in the hundreds emerged from and instantly vanished into the pile: the handle of a kettle, a trap door, dumbbells for kids, a jar of Vaseline, Christmas crackers, paper clips, rubber bands, and much more.

Pookar buried himself in the pile of rubbish almost to his head and shovelled it aside with both hands like a mole. Suddenly, Pookar shouted happily and pulled out a tattered sketchpad and a dozen multi-coloured felt-tip pens. He tore a few sheets from the sketchpad and, sticking out his tongue diligently, began to draw nameplates for the future zoo. He wrote ELEFUNT on one page, MONKEE on another, DRAGUN on a third. He drew a picture under each caption.

Pookar was in a great hurry, and therefore not all the pictures turned out equally “good.” Some animals could only be recognized from the explanatory captions. For example, a well-fed behemoth with a cat’s tail was drawn on the nameplate with the caption KAT.

Having finished his work, Pookar gathered his nameplates and ran out of the boot, singing,

“Elefunt, monkee,Dragun and kat.Here’s a songPookar begat!”

Flamy was licking the bottom of the mustard jar with his forked tongue when Pookar came to him in a great hurry. “Hi! I’ve already prepared everything for the zoo! It opens right now!”

“Really? My jar doesn’t want to be licked clean. Still a little mustard left on the bottom, but my tongue can’t reach it.”

“You drop the jar! It’s already empty. Now our zoo needs a good ad. And I want you to do it.”

“AD? What’s that?”“Here it is!” Pookar hung a name board around Flamy’s neck:ZOO OPUNS. FURST PINK FLAING ELEFUNT. BRING MUSTERD

AND KAKES. MASHA’S ROOM. “And where do we get a flying elephant?” Flamy asked.“Guess a hundred times!” Pookar suggested. “You will be the flying

elephant! Dragons indeed know how to turn into elephants?”“Dragons know everything. How do flying elephants look?”







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“They look basic. They’re so... so big and pink. Here, I’ve sketched for you roughly what an elephant should look like,” said Pookar. He handed Flamy a sheet, on which was drawn a sabre-toothed monster with ears spread out widely.

“Really, so horrible? Why so many teeth?”“Teeth are like money, there is never enough,” Pookar assured him.“Hmm... Well, if you think so! Okay, I’ll try,” Flamy sighed, after looking

at the picture to remember it better.Flamy started working his wings, lifted off from the floor with difficulty,

and flew out the window. Having flown around the building, he got in through the open window of the entrance and sat on the landing in front of Masha’s apartment.

“Well? Everything okay?” Pookar yelled through the door at the dragon.“Yes. Excellent. Now I’ll change.”“And watch you smile with charm! A smile is the first thing in

advertising!”Olga, the cat Muffin, and the bunnies were looking at pictures in a

magazine when Pookar came to them in a hurry with nameplates for the zoo.

“What are you lazybones doing here? Well, look lively! The first visitors are just about to appear and we’re still not ready,” Pookar shouted.

“Visitors to the zoo? Are they really truly coming?” The bunnies were surprised.

“Really truly, my little pigs!” Pookar said and handed Sineus and Truvor the nameplate GINEE PIGS.

“Who are these ginee pigs?” the bunnies asked.“You. No slacking off. Work is work,” Pookar explained.Muffin got a nameplate with KAT.“Indeed, I don’t know whether I look good. Cats might come, and I’m

such a slob!” Muffin started to worry.“Yakety-yak! Doesn’t matter, whoever must will marry you!” Pookar

mimicked her.The doll Olga was watching Pookar suspiciously while he fussed,

handing out nameplates.“I have something for you, Olga. Guess what? You’ll be mad with

happiness. For such a smart beauty, I put aside something special,” Pookar said maliciously to her.







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“Well, what else is there?” The doll became involuntarily interested. She thawed a good deal after the compliment.

“Here! For this role you’ll need all of your beauty and charm!” Pookar handed her the last nameplate.

“I don’t know whether I’ll manage...” Here Olga looked at the caption and flared up. “MONKEE! Now I’ll show you, illiterate Pookar! You’ll know how to call names!”

“No time to argue!” Pookar said quickly, running further away from the enraged doll. “The first zoo visitors are about to come. The pink elephant has already been advertising for half an hour.”

“What pink elephant?” Muffin and Olga asked in unison.“Flamy, of course. He turned into a pink elephant and is sitting on the

landing in front of the door.”“WHAT?!”Olga stared at Pookar with eyes opened wide with terror. Pookar

already realized from one of her looks that he had done something wrong.“You released Flamy from the apartment! What will happen now? They’ll

catch him and take him away to a real zoo, not your toy one! No one must see him!” Olga went after Pookar.

“True! What an idiot I am!” Pookar grabbed his head.













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Olga and Pookar rushed at top speed to the front door, hoping that they would be able to bring Flamy back in time. However, it was already too late. Again, the matter was not managed without Pirozhkov.

When Flamy turned into a pink elephant and sat on the threshold, Pirozhkov was just coming up on the elevator. Flamy had become such a big pink elephant that he occupied the whole landing. His feet stuck out to the stairs and his head with pink folded ears rested against the ceiling. He was listening industriously and waiting for the first visitors. On hearing that the elevator had stopped on that floor, he put on a rosy sabre-toothed smile.

Pirozhkov was riding the elevator and thinking that the yard-keeper did not clear the leaves away from the lawn again and that it would not be bad to complain about her to some not-very-internal organizations, for example, the Caretaker Association. In short, his thoughts were the furthest from functional.

The elevator door opened and Pirozhkov saw a pink monster, listening and holding a ZOO sign in front of it. The monster was smiling happily at Pirozhkov. The pink elephant’s teeth were sharp and reminded one of an alligator.

“An-animals loose!” Pirozhkov muttered automatically and suddenly shouted in a thin, shrill voice, “Help! Wild elephants!”

Pirozhkov rushed down the stairs, yelling, “Help! Hide! I’ll complain! You won’t get away with it!” Realizing that Pirozhkov had fled, Olga and Pookar ran out onto the landing and began to push Flamy towards the apartment.

“I understand nothing! He saw me and ran away. Perhaps I smiled badly?” Flamy was upset.

“Not bad at all,” Pookar consoled him. “It was the most charming predatory smile I’ve ever seen!”

“Change back quickly! If you linger, they’ll catch hold of you!” Olga hurried Flamy.

“What about advertising? And my mustard?” Flamy was surprised.“Advertising is cancelled. The idea of the zoo was as stupid as the one

who thought it up!” Olga said, looking angrily at Pookar.The pink elephant looked down. A large tear rolled down his cheek.

Having hit the floor, the tear splashed apart. Olga stroked a pink elephant paw. “Don’t be distressed, Flamy! I have a jar of mustard for you. You can eat it right now.”

“Really? Then let’s hurry!” Flamy was instantly consoled.







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Down below on the first floor, there were loud voices and the sound of the elevator.

“It’s here, I tell you! Such a strong elephant! They acquired an elephant, you know, and then threw it out on the stairs. We know this sort! You have to put it to sleep and take it somewhere,” Pirozhkov’s voice rang out.

“Well, change! What are you waiting for! They’ll be here now!” Olga whispered to Flamy.

Flamy looked at her guiltily. “Nothing turns out for me! I need to concentrate, or else instead of a dragon I’ll turn into some crap.”

“Mustard! Think of mustard!” Pookar reminded him.The pink elephant tensed up, turned red, and – POOF! – a dragon

appeared in its place. A few more seconds and it would have been too late. The elevator had already stopped on this floor. The pranksters had managed to slip into the apartment in the next second. Pookar quietly closed the door.

Pirozhkov, a policeman, and a doctor in a white coat appeared on the landing.

“Now see for yourself! Such a pink elephant! Sitting and smiling. You understand, it interferes with spending honestly earned time. Such a toothy elephant...” Pirozhkov muttered, backing out of the elevator.

Here he froze with his mouth open, seeing that there was no elephant, neither red nor pink, on the landing. The policeman and the doctor exchanged glances. “Well, where’s your elephant?”

“It was here! I remember exactly!” Pirozhkov ran around the landing. “Such a huge elephant, head resting against the ceiling... And pink! Perhaps it’s hiding somewhere... Say, under the rug... Huh?”

“So you’re saying there was an elephant here?” the doctor asked with curiosity.

“Yes...”“And pink?”“Pink!”“And big?”Realizing that they did not believe him, Pirozhkov reddened. “It was

here! I remember exactly! It even invited me to the zoo,” he yelled.“Who invited you to the zoo? The elephant?” the doctor asked with

growing interest.







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“Yes, the elephant! You don’t believe me? By the way, I’m active in public life. I’ll complain about you! There was an elephant. I’ll repeat to the letter: such enormous trash!” Pirozhkov squealed.

The policeman sniffed. “Breathe, please!” he suddenly asked.“I’m not drunk... I’ll complain... All of a bottle of beer in honestly earned

time...” Pirozhkov got excited. “You don’t believe me?”“We believe you... of course, we do...” the doctor calmed him. “Well, an

elephant... A pink one... Talking... What’s so special about it? Let’s go in the car, the driver also wants to hear!”

The doctor and the policeman held onto Pirozhkov firmly by the elbows and, supporting him carefully, brought him to the elevator.

“It’s all the people from the neighbouring apartments... They’re to blame for everything... Noisy, cats meowing, and now even breeding elephants... I’m so not leaving this alone! I know everything!” Pirozhkov shouted.

“Everybody knows everything. Please don’t stumble, here’s the threshold,” the doctor calmed him.

The elevator left.“Phew! It’s over... But no more zoos! Find yourself another fool!” Pookar

said when everything was finished.“We won’t find another... You, Pookar, don’t be so modest,” Olga

assured him.







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Chapter SeventeenTHE GHOST IN THE JAM JAR

“Doesn’t it seem to you, dear, that strange things have begun to happen in our home?” Masha’s mama asked one evening.

“Like what?” Papa responded lazily, looking up from the newspaper.“Well, for example, the cups from the tea service. I leave them in one

place and find them in another. Then the mustard. It’s finished so fast that I don’t have time to buy new jars. And finally, the toys. I put them in the closet in the morning, Masha was at Grandma’s all day, and in the evening I look, they’re again scattered any which way.”

“Nonsense! Don’t think about it,” Papa shrugged. “Nothing surprises me anymore. For example, yesterday someone solved the crossword in the newspaper. It was as if someone prompted the correct answers in my ear. By the way, do you remember a seven-letter word for a pugnacious bird?”

“Rooster...” was clearly heard in the room. “Rooster!!”Papa glanced around quickly. “Here and now! Did you hear something?”“Nothing... Probably the TV,” Mama suggested.“But I heard someone say ROOSTER twice... ‘Rooster’ – the pugnacious

bird. Exactly seven letters. It fits.”Mama and Papa looked at each other uneasily.“It’s a poltergeist,” Mama shivered. “A poltergeist established itself in

my friend’s home and various wonders started to happen. They had to invite a psychic. The psychic said that it was all aliens. They study our reactions. Perhaps we should also invite a psychic?”

“How much does it cost?”“Not much,” Mama said, naming the price.“Forget it! What, you want to ruin us?” Papa was startled.“Fine,” Mama retreated temporarily. “We’ll talk about this later. Do you

remember Pirozhkov in the next apartment?”“The one constantly complaining? Haven’t seen him for a long time.

He’s not sick?”“Worse. Pirozhkov imagined pink elephants everywhere. He says that

there’s a universal conspiracy against him.”Papa whistled and twisted a finger at his temple. “Poor fellow! He

always seemed rather strange to me.”“It’s all poltergeists. They got to him. Let’s call the psychic! Please!”







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“One, two, three, four, five... I’m perfectly calm,” Papa said, plugging up his ears with his fingers. “I see nothing and hear nothing. I’m perfectly calm.”

Flamy flew into the room and told the toys everything that he had overheard from the adults. In retelling, he changed now to Papa, now to Mama, and imitated their voices. The others listened. In the evenings, the dragonet had taken to sneaking unnoticeably into the room of Masha’s parents and, remaining invisible, watched TV or listened to their conversations. Sometimes he could not control himself and butted into the conversation. He loved to solve crossword puzzles, and sometimes when Masha’s Papa got stuck, prompted him quietly.

“Well, well,” Pookar said, after Flamy had finished his story. “This means a poltergeist has established itself in here! I always knew it!”

“You’re out of your mind! How did he get in here?”“It’s obvious,” said Pookar.“How obvious?”“This obvious! Where there’s a smart, attractive baby boy doll, a learned

gnome, and a dragon, a poltergeist can perfectly appear. That’s for sure.”The gnome Scholarchkin got out of his hammock and approached the

toys. Lately, like any real inventor, he led a nocturnal life and slept in the day in the attic of the dollhouse. Scholarchkin lived on beet and potato salad, which he pulled out of the fridge, and most of all loved to pick the peas out of it.

“A poltergeist isn’t a scientific phenomenon. Do you know how many metres-centimetres-litres-kilograms there are in a poltergeist? There you are! So, it doesn’t exist!” Scholarchkin declared.

“But Papa and Mama can’t tell a lie! They’re adults!” Olga argued.“Let’s assume they can all tell lies! The more grown-up a person, the

bigger the lie. One famous cat philosophier came up with it,” Muffin purred.“Which philosophier? Do I know her?” Scholarchkin asked.“You do,” Muffin meowed with confidence. “Can even say you’re

acquainted with her. Well, have you guessed? It’s me!”“Aha,” said Pookar. “Even to speak a half-truth isn’t to lie. For example,

a boy pulled a chocolate bar from the bowl, and Mama asked him, ‘Did you eat the chocolate?’ ‘No,’ he replied. ‘I didn’t.’”

“The boy lied to Mama!”







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“Nothing of the kind! The boy told the truth! Let’s assume he hasn’t eaten the chocolate yet, only hid it. The boy isn’t guilty, but his muddle-headed mama can’t ask the right questions.”

“Now, Pookar, I’ll keep chocolate away from you. You’ve confused me completely with your bad boys,” Olga said crossly.

“You muddled-headed doll!” Pookar sighed. “Just why do I tolerate you? At least you have some merits. For example, your apple jelly isn’t bad. Though you spill it wherever.”

“Don’t quarrel!” Sineus and Truvor held Pookar and Olga by the hands with their own soft paws.

Beyond the window, the moon slowly rose to the sky covered with lilac clouds. This did not take place unnoticed by Muffin. She quickly swallowed the last bit of cat food and got into a melancholy mood. “Ah! Ah!”

“Oh, no! Now it begins. Every evening it’s one and the same!” Pookar muttered with the knowledge of the matter.

Muffin looked with fascination out the window, sitting on the edge of the windowsill. A dreamy expression was printed on her face.

“What a moon! In such moments one doesn’t want to think of anything, just look, look, look... Sweet tears roll to the heart and one wants to cry. If only it was forever,” the cat purred huskily.

“In order to whine, whine, whine forever...” Pookar was about to start but, having received a quick cuff by a cat’s paw, remained silent.

“A pale-pink sky all shrouded in clouds like a semi-transparent veil. The blue face of the moon looks through this airy veil...” Flamy said dreamily.

Muffin stared at him in amazement. Then she twisted coquettishly and purred, “I didn’t know that you’re a poet. It’s so romantic. Dear, dear, Flamy! Such kinship of souls, for a second it even seemed to me that I said it myself...”

“You did. You said it yesterday. You say it every day. Word for word. And I recall I also mimicked you. ‘A pale-pink sky all shrouded...’” he laughed.

“Pig... And I thought that you’re a poet. What a disappointment!” Muffin was offended.

“Again our Muffy was duped! She just wanted to fall in love, and – poof! – she was duped!” Pookar was pleased.

“Phew, how petty! Now I’ll call you ‘gloating Pookar’ and nothing else!” Muffin said haughtily.

While they were talking, the gnome Scholarchkin wandered to the windowsill and pondered intensely, “What if a poltergeist actually exists?







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Here we’d find it and call it with my name. For example, Polternus Scholarchkinus!”

“What’s Scholarchkinus? ” Olga repeated in amazement.“It’s Latin. A kind of extinct language. Used by scientists,” Scholarchkin

explained with a contented air.“What are scientists? Are they also extinct?” Pookar asked.Suddenly there was a quiet tap in the closet. “Ping! Ping! Ping!”“A poltergeist! It’s there, inside!” Olga gasped.“Mama! We’re scared!” the bunnies trembled.“Don’t be scared! You’re under my reliable protection! Let’s go hide

together somewhere,” Muffin calmed them.Scholarchkin and Flamy turned on the lights to look for the poltergeist.

Pookar, overcoming his own fear, stuck with them. Scholarchkin brought with him a notebook, a ruler, and a camera, in order to measure, weigh, and photograph it.

“Ting, Ting, Ting!” reached them from the closet. “Ting-ping! Ting-ping!”

Pookar, Scholarchkin, and Flamy opened the closet door and cautiously peered inside.

“Help! I’m here! Help!!!” reached them loudly from the very depths of the closet.

Again, “Ting-ting-ping!”“It’s enticing us! We go in, and it – GOTCHA!” Pookar whispered.“Perhaps the poltergeist really needs help? It’s probably alone and

scared in the closet. I was scared too in the closet until you came!” Flamy suggested.

Scholarchkin put the ruler in front of him like a sword, and the brave investigators went stealthily on tiptoe to the closet.

“Help! Help!!!” came from it.“N-now we’ll h-help! N-now! H-hang on, poltergeist!” Scholarchkin said,

stuttering.An empty jam jar was lying on its side in the middle of the closet. The jar

was rocking, tapping. Pleas for help were also issuing from it. “The poltergeist is there, in the jar! Let’s take a look there!” Flamy

proposed.“Mind I’m last!” Pookar said.Scholarchkin cautiously stole up to the jar and immediately jumped

back.







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“Well, what did you see? A poltergeist?”“I don’t know. I didn’t manage to see clearly,” Scholarchkin

acknowledged.“Hey, in the jar, respond! It’ll be worse!” Flamy shouted.“Help! Let me out of here!” squeaked from the jar.“What are you? A poltergeist?”“I’m a mouse... Let me...”The investigators looked into the jar and saw a little grey mouse. The

mouse was very nice and polite.“Phew!” Pookar sighed in relief. “Good that it isn’t a poltergeist! It’s

much easier somehow... How did you wind up there, little mouse?”“I climbed through the hole in the lid and began eating jam,” the mouse

looked at Pookar with eyes like beads. “I ate jam for three days, and when I ate it all, I found that I had grown and couldn’t fit through the hole in the lid. Please help me, I beg you!”

“We’ll help now! Climb out, little mouse!” Scholarchkin opened the lid.“Thank you very much! You helped me a lot. If you want...” the mouse

flicked its tail embarrassingly. “If you want, you can give me a name, I still haven’t got one.”

The gnome Scholarchkin blushed, hesitated a little for decency, and said, “I name you Polternus Scholarchkinus. I’ve long wanted to name someone that but somehow the chance didn’t turn up.”

The mouse bowed. “Thank you very much! Now I’ll be Polternus Scholarchkinus. None of us has such a wonderful name! Now I must go home! Thanks again!” The mouse ran away, repeating his beautiful new name.

“Goodbye, Poltern! Come visit us!” Flamy and Pookar shouted after him.







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Chapter EighteenPOOKAR THE KNIGHT

Masha woke up at night because someone was running a feather from a pillow along her face. The girl opened her eyes and saw Pookar by the light of the nightlight.

“Wake up, I want your advice!” Pookar shook her.Masha unwillingly half-rose on one elbow. It is not very nice when they

wake you up in the night. However, Pookar was behaving mysteriously and Masha became curious. Even in the dim light, it was evident that Pookar was preoccupied with something. Pookar was shifting from foot to foot and tugging at the buttons of his jacket.

“Masha, you’re quite experienced in such things. In fact, you’re almost eight years old. What do people do if they like someone? Like a lot,” Pookar finally blurted out.

“You see, Pookar...” Masha halted.She was flattered that she was being asked for advice like an adult and

did not want to let down Pookar’s expectations. On the other hand, although Masha was, I repeat, nearly eight years old, there was also not so much advice she could give.

“Well, Pookar... What can I tell you? Be really nice to the girl you like,” Masha proposed.

“What do you mean ‘really nice’? She’s not injured for me to be really nice to her!” Pookar did not understand.

Masha began to think, pondering how best to explain this.“Well imagine... for example, a boy in class likes me. He never told me

but I’m almost sure. He was constantly tugging at my hair and once secretly placed an earthworm in a matchbox. You need to do something of the kind to reveal your feelings.”

Pookar beamed and happily rolled off the pillow. “To be really nice turns out to be quite interesting! Of course! Thank you, Masha! I’ll definitely do everything you suggested.”

“Wait, Pookar! You never told me who you like.”However, Pookar had already fled. Masha was even upset. “Well, don’t!

Must think I don’t know!” she said.The next day the doll Olga and the cat Muffin were watching TV. A

cheerless old man appeared on TV and talked about the price of oil.







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“Just look! What an amusing political uncle! It’s immediately apparent that he’s terribly clever. Look, Olga, what a huge forehead he has!” Muffin exclaimed.

“It’s not his forehead but his bald head! When will you finally learn to distinguish!” said Olga.

Falsely whistling, Pookar approached the girls. His red hair was for some reason, washed and comically standing stiffly. His pants, forever falling down, were tied with a cord and his ears were washed fairly cleanly for the first time since birth.

“Hi, Catmuffy! Hi, Olga! I just happened to be passing by here,” said Pookar, having stopped whistling.

“Hi!” the girls said, not looking away from the TV and not paying him any special attention.

Pookar got between the TV and the armchair. “What a good day it is today!” he said, full of suffering, and looked out the window. Rain was beating down on the street. A wet crow sat on a branch in front of the windows and swore with bad words.

“Couldn’t be better! Pookar! Don’t block the TV! Shoo!” Muffin made a movement with her paw sending him on his way. Pookar reluctantly moved away from the screen and continued to whistle annoyingly.

“Won’t you ask me what I’m whistling? Well, don’t. I’ll still tell you. It’s the Song of the Hungry Midgets.

Give us a spoon,We’ll eat the mouser!Give us a budWe’ll put it in the grinder!”

“What bud?” Muffin looked away from the TV.Pookar stuck his tongue out at her. “None of your cat business what

bud!”Muffin leaped from the armchair, attached her teeth to Pookar’s pants,

and dragged him out of the room. Pookar dangled in the air and groaned, “Wait before you send me packing, naughty Muffy! I still haven’t done what I wanted!”

Pookar deftly jumped out of his pants, leaving them in the cat’s teeth, and hit the floor. He turned out to have red shorts with white polka dots under his pants. Muffin opened her mouth with astonishment and released







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the pants. Pookar grabbed them and put them on. Then he ran to the doll Olga, tugged at her hair, and dropped a matchbox on her knees. “A gift for you! Now, Muffy, you can chase me out! The Moor has done his work! Time for the Moor to be on the train!”7 Pookar caught hold of the cat’s tail. Muffin made her way to the door and Pookar slid behind as if on water skis.

Olga shrugged and opened the matchbox a little. A big black cockroach crawled out of it. Olga screamed and threw the box away.

“What else is there?” Muffin returned to the room. She had shaken Pookar off in the hallway.

Olga, in terror, showed Muffin the cockroach. “Pookar gave this to me!!! Uh, nasty!”

There was a knock on the door and Pookar looked into the room. For the minute he was not there, Pookar managed to put on a tie and clean his right shoe with a toothbrush. Pookar unkindly glanced sideways at Muffin and muttered, “You here, animal? Doesn’t matter, you can stay. Watch TV and keep quiet!”

The hair on the back of Muffin’s neck bristled up but she restrained herself. The doll Olga indignantly went after Pookar. “Why did you give me a cockroach?”

“What you need, I gave!” Pookar hid the unclean shoe behind the clean one. “How do I look? Really, am I nice?”

“Well, if not to be very picky...” the polite Olga acknowledged.“Why did you never mention it to me before? What, you don’t like me?”

Pookar was outraged.“Like you? Did I hear right?” Olga was surprised, cleaning her ears with

her fingers.Pookar threatened her with a finger in distrust. “I almost have to beat

the truth out of you with a hammer! I didn’t come here to fight. Come visit me.”

Olga was extremely surprised. Pookar was not a big fan of inviting people to visit. He liked to go visiting more. Something inconceivable had definitely happened to Pookar today.

“Visit you? Why?” Olga asked.“Why? Tidy up, wash, have tea, chat, and the rest...” Pookar answered

evasively.

7 The original line “The Moor has done his work, the Moor may go.” is from the play Fiesco's Conspiracy at Genoa (1782) by German writer Friedrich Schiller (1759-1805).







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Olga thought for a bit, hesitated a little, and agreed. She wanted to know what had caused the change in Pookar. Pookar and Olga went to the boot and looked around. In the middle of the boot towered a huge pile of things, on the top of which a butterfly net stuck out like a flag.

“We’ll consider tea. True, I have neither sugar nor teapot, but then there’s a table. It’ll be fair: my table, your tea.” Pookar began to bustle about and dig into things.

Olga was standing in the middle of the house-boot, trying not to touch anything so as not to get dirty.

“Make yourself comfortable!” Pookar dragged a small stool out from somewhere, blew dust off the seat, and pushed it up to Olga. In order not to offend Pookar, she carefully sat down on the stool and suddenly crashed onto the floor.

“Ha-ha!” Pookar laughed.Olga angrily jumped up. “Did you do that on purpose?” she yelled.“Oh, no-no! I just forgot that the stool has no legs! That’s okay, I’ll give

you another,” Pookar was embarrassed.“I better stand. Why did you invite me?” Olga said.Pookar looked down self-consciously but quickly recovered. “I wanted to

talk to you.”“What about?”Pookar scratched his head and blushed. He opened his mouth several

times to say something but uttered nothing.“Talk about what?” the curious Olga badgered him.“It’s this... Ah... About the pot,” Pookar said, finding the words.

“Remember you borrowed my pot and haven’t returned it? That’s not good. Not neighbourly. Tsk-tsk!”

Olga frowned. “What are you talking about? I didn’t borrow your pot,” she drawled disappointedly.

“Well, not the pot, then something else... Remember last year, you needed a nail and I gave one to you? Where’s my nail?”

Olga’s eyes bulged out. She was speechless for a while.“And you also took my lace,” a worked-up Pookar muttered, “and but...

but... button. The white button with two holes.”“Oh, you bad Pookar! I won’t play with you! Miserable vulture! Just as I

thought!” Olga yelled.She waved her hands and ran out of the house. Pookar was about to

rush after her shouting, “You yourself are a vulture! Return the nail, the







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nail!” However, he stumbled over the stool lying around and fell. He got up, shook himself, sighed, thought about what he would do, and lay down to sleep. The next morning he woke up in a good mood and went to the pantry to check out the jars of jam.

“Well, how are you? Declared your love?” Masha was curious in the evening.

She went up to Pookar and ruffled his hair. But Pookar was in no mood for frankness. He groaned and went out somewhere every five minutes – he was stuffed with jam and had a stomachache.

“I’m tired of being nice! Olga isn’t worthy of me! Oh, mama! Again! Excuse me, Masha, I have to run, I have work to do!” Pookar only said.







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Chapter NineteenFLAMY AND THE PSYCHIC

Mama apparently managed to wear Papa down after all, because the doorbell rang a few days later. The psychic had come.

Mama fussed over the psychic like a mother hen over her first egg. She offered him the best slippers and invited him into the kitchen for a snack. Papa was a bit gloomy and smiled insincerely. Masha, as always, was sent to Grandma so she would not be underfoot.

The psychic was a tall and very stout man with a black, rather curly beard and fat cheeks. His expression was meaningful and sly. He was constantly doing something with his hands, as if he was tying up invisible strings in the air.

“I don’t drink at work. Unless for inspiration...” the psychic said to himself and winked.

“And inspiration doesn’t get in the way of work with the other world?” Papa asked maliciously.

“On the contrary,” the psychic said very decisively. “On the contrary!”Papa and the psychic gurgled something in the kitchen. Mama felt

nervous and began to talk about the mysterious phenomena that were happening in the apartment.

“Things move by themselves... Food disappears from the fridge... Weird voices are heard... My girlfriend Lydia had the same. She told me about you. What would we do without you?”

“The money would be put away for a vacation...” Papa quietly muttered under his breath.

“I remember, I remember,” the psychic frowned. “At your friend... what did you say... Zina’s? It was a difficult case. I needed all my gifts to expel the supernatural forces from her apartment... What do you have that smells so wonderful? Chicken?”

“Turkey! Will you try it?” Mama beamed. She loved creative people who had a connection with the other world.

Papa made a quick attempt to screen the pan, and for a moment, he and Mama silently pulled it away from each other. Finally, Papa let got, defeated.

“Specially made. My casserole. You should like it,” Mama said.







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“Why not, why not...” the psychic said predatorily and licked his lips in anticipation. “Although, of course, I don’t eat at work... but on the other hand. I indeed immediately realized that this is turkey... Seventh sense...”

“Every fool guesses it when the smell fills the whole entrance,” Papa growled even quieter.

The psychic stuck a fork into a turkey leg. Papa set his jaw and his face looked like the fork was stuck in him.

“Perhaps we’ll get to business? In the sense of magic or what you do there. ‘Abracadabra-hocus-pocus’?” Papa asked.

The psychic’s hand froze halfway to his mouth. His beard bristled. His moustache bristled. The psychic slowly rose to his full considerable height and... suddenly said in a very thin resentful voice, “I refuse to work in such an environment. If my skill isn’t trusted, I’m ready to leave. My feet won’t be here anymore.”

Mama leaped up. “Don’t listen to him! It’s the evil spirits twisting him. Banish them as quickly as possible so that I can regain my former husband,” she said, attacking Papa.

The psychic resisted at first, but then kindly agreed to cast the evil spirits out of Papa. Under Mama’s severe looks, Papa sat down on a chair, and the psychic started to do rotational movements with his hands over Papa’s head.

“Well, that’s all? Finished?” Papa asked after five minutes.“How do you feel? Purified?” Mama asked.“I’m shaking. I’ve never been so irritated,” Papa said.Mama looked questioningly at the psychic. He shrugged and said,

“Shaking, it’s a good sign. The evil spirits are uncomfortable. They’re panicking. Must continue!”

He continued to make his passes over Papa. Ten minutes. Suddenly Papa turned red and then laughed. He could not calm down for a long time. Mama poured water on Papa, but he laughed and laughed. In the end he even began to hiccup. “Oh, I can’t! Hic... Ha-ha-ha, hic, ha-ha-ha!”

Finally, Papa calmed down. He sat silently in the chair and gurgled with ten glasses of water, which Mama poured for him to stop the hiccups.

“Of course, the session must be repeated but the first successes are evident!” the psychic said.

On learning about the arrival of the psychic, the toys were alarmed and sent the cat Muffin to find out what it was all about. Muffin twirled







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underfoot and returned with shocking news. “They’re both standing around the psychic and watching as he finishes off the turkey. Didn’t even feed their favourite cat. He has probably bewitched them!”

“What if this character exposes us? Then they’ll retain us!” the bunnies said worriedly.

Muffin’s tail twitched in annoyance. “How would he know? He’s completely unfeeling. For ten minutes I begged him for a piece of turkey, but he didn’t even let me smell the bones. Vulture!”

“We’ll work hard so that this time he’ll have to earn his bread honestly. Let him think that we’re in fact ghosts. It can turn out to be a fun game,” Pookar rubbed his hands.

Apparently, the psychic recharged his energy well, because only some bones were left of the turkey. After washing his hands, he expressed his desire to clean the apartment of evil spirits.

“Well, let’s get started!” The psychic pulled out two knitting needles from his pocket and quickly started to twirl them in his hands in front of an admiring Mama.

“What are you doing? Catching the Martian radio station?” Papa asked with curiosity.

“Quiet! I feel supernatural forces here somewhere. I feel pulses coming from them!” the psychic hissed, leading with the needles.

He walked around the apartment, making movements with the needles as if knitting invisible stockings. The psychic stepped onto the newspaper in the hallway and irritably kicked it to the side.

“The ghost dragged this newspaper in the air. Perhaps it will help you somehow?” Mama said.

The psychic quickly looked at Mama. Then he touched the newspaper with the needles and suddenly shuddered as if he had been pricked by a needle. “Oh, yes! Oh, yes!” he muttered, rolling his eyes. “I feel dark energy. You must burn the newspaper immediately.”

“Wait!” Papa decisively snatched the paper out of the psychic’s hands. “The ghost flew with yesterday’s newspaper, but this is today’s. It’s here in black and white, ‘Tuesday’.”

The psychic thought for a moment and said, “Burn it all the same! It’s all saturated with dark energy. It possibly served as a runway for a space ship.”

“What ship? Where would a space ship come from in our apartment?” Papa was surprised.







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“Shh!” the psychic rolled his eyes. “I can’t say! Please burn it!”Papa looked askance at Mama and sighed. “Fine. Why not? After all,

there’s no TV guide in it,” he said.As soon as the newspaper was burned and the stench more or less gone,

the psychic glanced at the clock and started to make up his mind. “Well... that’s all. The main burst of evil energy has scattered, but the session has to be repeated after three months.”

He was about to move toward the door but Mama caught him by the arm, “Please stop! You still haven’t been in my daughter’s room. That’s exactly where I find the empty mustard jars that disappear from the refrigerator.”

“Really? You must break these jars immediately! Do you have a hammer?” The psychic started to fuss.

“What are the jars guilty of?” Papa asked.The psychic looked reproachfully at Papa, “You don’t know, but you

meddle! Mustard is the universal fuel for alien space ships. That’s the reason they steal it when they run out of fuel.”

“Now it’s clear. I was wondering why mustard. You explained everything and it quickly became clear,” Mama said.

The psychic twirled the needles and, opening the door to Masha’s room, declared to Papa and Mama, “I ask you not to come in! This can be dangerous. Aliens don’t like the uninitiated. Please don’t open the door in the next three minutes, no matter what happens! Remember?”

“Yes!” Mama said responsibly.“I hope we have nothing valuable there,”

Papa grumbled when the door closed behind the psychic.

Left alone in Masha’s room, the psychic put the needles in his pocket, stretched, and yawned. He got heartburn after the meal, and he regretted that he had been greedy and had overeaten. He sat down on the chair by the window and looked around. Toys were everywhere and a fly was hitting the glass. He pulled out an envelope, which Mama had timidly shoved to him in the hallway, and rustled the bills. He was pleasantly surprised by the contents of the







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envelope and began to sing Hostile Winds Blow Over Us,8 the only song he knew. Then, on glancing at the door, he loudly and hastily said, “Evil aliens! Leave this home! I banish you in the name of the Supreme Mind!”

Mama and Papa began to stir contentedly behind the door. The psychic grinned and hid the envelope in his pocket. At that moment, someone touched his shoulder. He turned around perplexedly and saw a space alien in a spacesuit, green and goggle-eyed, exactly like those drawn in children’s comics. The antenna on the alien’s head quivered.

“Greetings, psy...” the alien said in a weird lifeless voice. His mouth did not open and the sound came from the box on his back. “We have been watching you for a long time and know everything about you! For example, that you were mean to Muffin for a piece of turkey... Not good, the cosmic mind is displeased! It will change you into space fuel for our ship.”

“Mama,” the psychic whispered in a suddenly raspy voice and ineptly crossed himself. “Holy, holy, holy! You don’t exist!”

“Do you want to fly with us? We have prepared a container for you,” the alien continued.

“No,” the psychic was scared. “I can’t. I have a wife and kids. Another wife, more kids...”

“Then we will take you hostage and exchange you for mustard!” The alien started to move slowly toward the terrified psychic.

The bearded man backed towards the door, but accidentally stepped on the cat’s tail.

“Me-ow!” Muffin howled in panic and scratched the psychic’s leg.Beside himself with horror, the bearded man bumped into the door with

such force that it almost opened in the opposite direction.“How he fights, not sparing himself!” Mama was delighted. “Obvious

right away, a professional. And you didn’t believe me! Don’t open the door! It hasn’t been three minutes yet!”

“I hope he won’t nail the cat. But then, Muffy will stand up for herself. She can even do it very well,” Papa said, leaning his shoulder against the door.

While the psychic and Papa were pulling at the door handle, the space alien whined softly in the psychic’s ear. “Ooh-ooh! Return the money you swindled, or else I will take you to the moon.”

8 This is from Warszawianka (1905), a Polish and Russian revolutionay song. The Russian version was written by G. M. Krzhizhanovsky (1872-1959), Soviet economist, thought to be penned when he was imprisoned in 1897.







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“N-no, I won’t!” the psychic muttered, fighting with the door. “I have kids!”

“We will take the kiddies to the moon!”“Help! I won’t cheat anymore! Who would’ve thought that aliens really

exist!” The alien soared near the ceiling and began to circle the psychic’s head.

“Ex-xi-ist! Even ex-xi-ist! To the moo-oon! Ooh!” he howled enthusiastically.On seeing that the alien could even fly, the psychic finally got scared.

“I’ll return the money! And throw out the knitting needles!” he trembled. “I don’t want the moon! The wife, the children are hungry! The cottage in France is unfinished!”

Silence. Not a word, not a sound. The psychic looked around fearfully. The alien had disappeared. A second ago, he was silently soaring near the ceiling, but now he had disappeared, dissolved, as if he had not been there. The psychic grabbed his head and became similar to Pirozhkov after the meeting with the pink elephant.

Surprised that the room had become very quiet, Papa opened the door. The freed psychic pushed Papa and Mama away and rushed at top speed to the elevator. He was dishevelled and did not look quite sane. He made strange movements with his hands, as if chasing away invisible flies.

“Ran off and didn’t say good-bye! Seems the ghost drove him out. Worthy opponents!” Mama shook her head.

Right at the heels of the psychic, an envelope with money appeared at the door and, swirling, fell right into Papa’s hands.

“In my opinion, the ghost is friendly to us. I even like it. For its part, it was nice to return us the money,” Papa said.

Mama sighed. “I don’t know. Oh, I don’t know... Go to the store to buy mustard? We must bring the ghost around somehow if we can’t get rid of it?”

“Hiss-hiss! Hurrah!” was heard in the room.At the same second Mama’s feet took off from the floor and she flew up

to the ceiling. Mama kept her skirt down with one hand and adjusted her hair with the other. On the whole, she looked quite happy.

Later Mama was gently lowered to the floor. She thoughtfully touched her cheek with her hand.

“It seems it kissed me!” she said, blushing.“I hope it was a platonic kiss! It’s in the interests of the ghost!” Papa

said.







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Chapter TwentySUNDAY ENTERTAINMENT

On Sunday, Masha suddenly had a sore throat and her parents would not let her go out. “Stay home for the day, get better, and you can go to school tomorrow.”

“They comforted me, needless to say. Would be better if I go out today and get sick on Monday,” Masha thought.

However, her parents, as usual, had a ready answer for everything. The girl climbed in bed with a book and tried to read. Yet it did not work out for her; it was a magnificent mid-May day in the courtyard and she could hear the voices of children playing. Masha scowled and tossed the book aside. Just think, a sore throat! A tiny bit! Why did she tell Mama?

“We’re going for a walk! Back in a couple of hours! Don’t feel bad!” her parents shouted from the hallway.

As soon as had Mama and Papa closed the door, Masha jumped out of bed and ran to the window. Indeed! All her friends were in the yard! Really bad luck!

“Relax! You don’t need to hang out all day on the street in order to have a good Sunday. Adventure can be found at home, on the spot!” a provocative voice said next to the girl.

Masha saw Pookar. He was sitting on the windowsill and tearing the leaves off the geranium, saying, “Likes, dislikes, spits, kisses!”

When only the last leaf remained on the geranium, Pookar suddenly pushed the pot aside. “Tell fortune another time! No time to sit! Forward, in search of adventure!”

“Can’t. I have to get better,” Masha sighed.“What’s hurting?” Pookar asked.“My throat.”“I’ll cure you instantly!”“How? Can you really?” Masha asked doubtfully.“Open your mouth and say ‘Ah-hhhh’! I see! Now check the

temperature!” Pookar climbed onto the windowsill, and before Masha had time to ask what he intended on doing, he poured water from the watering can onto her forehead and face.

“Ah-h! You’re nuts!”“Fiddle faddle! The water’s not boiling, that means you don’t have a

temperature. My throat hurt a thousand times and I was never in bed.”







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“How do I get better then? Mama said...”“You also must listen to Mama within reason,” Pookar snarled. “She

doesn’t know that you get over a sore throat much faster when you run around and scream! In the extreme case, you can stick a mustard plaster on your tongue! It’s the best way!”

The closet opened slightly and Flamy the dragonet poked his head out, “Who was talking about a mustard plaster? I want a mustard plaster!”

“Why do you need it? You aren’t sick.”“But I am. I have an upset stomach. I eat a mustard plaster and the

stomach-ache will pass,” Flamy said, licking his lips.“I would have given you a mustard plaster, but I don’t know where

Mama puts them,” Masha confessed.“You know everything. If you’re being mean, then say so!” Flamy was

offended and crawled into the closet.Masha went to the closet and knocked. “Flamy, I have no mustard

plaster, but I have a jar, and guess what’s in it? Pepper!”Something in the closet moved and a beaming Flamy emerged and said,

“You’re probably making it up. For not treating me earlier... Well, let’s have the jar!”

While Masha fed Flamy pepper, Pookar concentrated on making something out of newspaper.

“Now we’ll have some good fun! Been a long time since such excellent bombs worked out for me! Three! All that remains is to fill them with water. Up! Ready!”

Pookar stood on tiptoe and looked out the window. “Aha! There’s the guy from the second entrance washing his car again! I’m still waiting for him to wear a hole through it! What’s this? He seems to have run out of water? Don’t loose heart, uncle, now I’ll come to your rescue!”

Pookar aimed and threw down three little bombs. The first exploded right at the feet of the guy washing his car, the second hit him on the head, and the third landed with a plop on the roof of the car. The car owner looked up and saw one of the air vents close. He howled and rushed to the entrance.

“Hey, Masha, Flamy! Seems trouble’s coming. It’s already pretty close,” Pookar shouted.

Flamy let out a shower of sparks from his nose. “I know what to do.”







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The car owner jumped out of the elevator and pounded his fists on the door. He was so angry that he did not even use the doorbell. “You’ll remember me! I won’t leave till you open!”

The door opened as if the magic word “sesame” had been uttered and, out of the apartment, horns leaning forward, squeezed a humongous bull. It was so huge that the landing barely accommodated it. The bull bellowed with ill will and came at the disconcerted motorist. Its red eyes were bloodshot and steam came out of its nostrils.

The car owner backed away. “What are you, what are you? Nice ox! I’m already leaving! Can’t one be at the wrong place?” he yelled, leaping into the elevator.

The bull ran a hard look over him and returned to the apartment. There he again became the same cheerful Flamy.

“Gone?” Pookar asked.“Gone,” Flamy assured him.“For good?”“I think so.”“Well, folks, shouldn’t be so!” Pookar was indignant. “As soon as it

comes to cars, then they immediately lose their utmost sense of humour! And all for a pile of iron on wheels.”

Pookar began to think up new entertainment. He wandered around the room and looked into all the cupboards and drawers. Suddenly his eye fell on a toy bow and arrows. “Hooray! Got it! You won’t get bored with me! We’ll play Robin Hood!” He grabbed from the table a cup with tea still in it and put it on the doll Olga’s head.

“A beautiful girl bravely entrusts a crack shot with her life!” Pookar aimed his bow at the cup on Olga’s head.

“A trusting fool and a bumbling shooter. A lethal combo!” The cat Muffin closed her eyes.

Pookar released the arrow. Olga did not wait till Pookar missed to duck. The cup flew from her head and shattered, and Pookar’s arrow knocked the cap off the gnome Scholarchkin, who was strolling along the windowsill, pondering over very clever topics.

“Eureka! I’ve got it!” Scholarchkin shouted suddenly. The gnome rushed to write something in his notebook.

“What have you done?” Masha was upset. “You broke the cup and spilled tea on the floor. Mama will be mad when she sees it.”







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“She won’t find out anything!” Pookar instantly tossed the cup fragments out the window, grabbed a piece of cloth from a chair, and wiped the floor dry with it.

“Well, that’s it! Lucky for you a rag just turned up,” Pookar said smugly.“It’s not a rag, it’s Papa’s shirt! He’s going to work in it tomorrow!

Mama was going to iron it!” Only now did Masha see exactly what Pookar used to wipe the floor.

“You’re always nitpicking! No matter what I do, you’re never happy. But you’ll learn to see the good in everything. Let it be less of a shirt but more of a rag. You only need to explain this to Mama,” Pookar said philosophically.

“Why don’t you explain to her? Here, tell us!” Masha turned on him.“I can’t,” Pookar sighed. “It’s customary to hear sad news from close

people. Easier for them to bear it this way. And don’t forget that to your mama I’m a secret, shielded in darkness.”

Masha decided to wash Papa’s shirt so that it would not look as if it was used to wipe the floor.

“Think about it, the floor! We walk on it... But I’ll wash the shirt,” Pookar declared.

Pookar grabbed the shirt and dragged it along the floor to the bathroom. On the way, the shirt caught on a nail and its sleeve was ripped. Pookar threw up his hands contentedly. “Your lucky papa! Earlier he had a simple drab shirt but it has become a fashionable vest! All that remains is to change its colour a bit and a beautiful summer shirt is ready! Where are the watercolours?”

Nobody gave him any watercolours. The doll Olga hastily took the shirt from Pookar and began sewing. Masha washed the shirt in soapsuds and rinsed it. Grabbing the hanger with the shirt in his teeth, Flamy started flying swiftly around the room so that the shirt soon dried.

It all took some ten minutes. When Mama and Papa came back from their walk, the shirt was completely ready and it was impossible to determine that it had been in a fix.

“If your papa only knew what he had missed! He would rip out all of his shirtsleeves and paint the shirts with watercolours in the most fantastic colours. But I bet he wouldn’t have hit upon the idea himself!” Pookar declared.







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Chapter Twenty-OneMAMA FINDS FLAMY

Several days had passed since the young dragon whistled for his mother. Nothing happened and Flamy slowly began to lose hope. “She probably didn’t hear me,” he thought.

However, one day when Papa was reading the paper, he suddenly laughed and called Mama.

“They write such nonsense! ‘A flying dinosaur has appeared and circles above Moscow at night!’”

“If I were you, I would take this more seriously. Don’t forget that we ourselves have a ghost at home,” Mama said.

“A ghost is one thing, but a dinosaur, totally different,” Papa said categorically and buried himself in the newspaper. Yet he could not read because the room had suddenly become dark as night.

“What’s the matter? A storm coming perhaps?” Papa wondered. He looked out the window and sat down hard on the floor. “There... there’s a dinosaur! It’s flying here! And blocking the whole sky!” he yelled to Mama.

“Things just get worse and worse! I hope it isn’t coming for us and won’t stay for dinner,” Mama remarked. Nothing could surprise her anymore.

Meanwhile, in his apartment Pirozhkov was arguing sluggishly with Avdokhina. Both were rather tired and decided to have tea with cake.

Continuing to grumble discontentedly to herself that everyone around was bad and she alone was good, Avdokhina brought the teapot to Pirozhkov’s cup and accidentally looked out the window. “There...there’s a monster!” she exclaimed and fainted right onto Pirozhkov’s knees.

Pirozhkov began to tap Avdokhina’s cheeks and pour hot tea. Hot tea had a beneficial effect. Avdokhina came to and saw her neighbour bending over her sympathetically. “I will comp...” she said timidly and suddenly blushed.

Pirozhkov also blushed, pulled a hanky from his pocket, and began wiping Avdokhina’s face.

“Mama, that’s my mama! I found Mama!” Flamy yelled happily, when he saw the dragon flying up to the house.

“Rather, she found you,” Masha corrected him.Five minutes later Pookar, the cat Muffin, the doll Olga, the gnome

Scholarchkin, and the bunnies Sineus and Truvor all sat on the windowsill and watched as Flamy and his mother flew in a mad dance outside the







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window. They first soared up high in the sky, then circled near each other, moved away, then drew together. It was the most mysterious and the most beautiful dance in the world at the same time. A dance of reunion after a long separation.

“We’re leaving! Time for us to go! Or else they’ll summon the air force!” Mama Dragon called Flamy. Her voice was deep like a trumpet.

“Mama, I’m coming! Wait a minute!” Flamy shouted. He flew to his friends. He was excited and breathing in quick succession, his forked tongue sticking out. “I’ll visit you!”

“Really? You aren’t tricking us?” the doll Olga asked, choking back tears.

“Really truly!” Flamy patted Olga on the head.Pookar was going to open his mouth to say something, but quickly

turned away. He did not want anyone to see that he was also affected a great deal.

The bunnies Sineus and Truvor clung to Flamy with their tiny paws and did not want to let him go. Only his promise of bringing them more carrots on his next visit consoled them somewhat.

The cat Muffin was not noted for great sentimentality, but she kissed Flamy goodbye and gave him a beautiful ribbon, which he took in his teeth.

“Goodbye! Don’t forget to treat your mama!” Masha ran her hand along Flamy’s shiny scales and slipped him a jar of mustard for the road.

“Goodbye! I’ll miss you very much!” Flamy shouted. He dashed off after Mama, looking back frequently and waving goodbye with his tail. Two points, one large and the other quite tiny, were still visible for a long time from the window. Then they slowly disappeared in the distance.

Pookar, keeping up a brave face all this time, broke down and wept. “I’m absolutely miserable! I’ve been left all alone! Poor me, abandoned! Nobody loves me, only I alone love me! In spite of everything, I’ll sit here! I won’t move from the spot in a year, two, three, until Flamy comes,” Pookar sobbed.

The doll Olga, looking at Pookar, began to blot her eyes with her lace apron. The bunnies were sobbing quietly in time with her. The cat Muffin also shed a few tears for proper form, but the gnome Scholarchkin burst into tears so that he thoroughly wet his notebook. It became so wet in the room that even frogs would grow.

Masha hugged her downcast friends. “Little fools! You’re not quite alone. You have me, I have you, and so it will always be!” she said.







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“Honestly?”“Cross my heart!” Masha confirmed. “Now run off to dinner!”“I bet I’ll be first!” Pookar yelled.

























109

Chapter OneTHE RETURN OF FLAMY

Nearly a month had passed since Flamy flew away. Vacation had started. Almost all of Masha’s friends had left for cottages and resorts, and she was very bored. The weather was bad. It was cold. Rain had been pouring for days. One cannot have much fun in this weather.

One evening Masha climbed onto Mama’s knees and buried her head in Mama’s shoulder. “Mama, when are we going on vacation? Soon? Tell me, soon?”

Mama hugged Masha. “The beginning of August. Papa and I don’t get vacations sooner. Have patience.”

“But it’s so long till August! Almost two months, Mama!” Masha was suffering.

She made an effort to refrain from tears. Spending the summer in the city is really the limit. Vacations in the yard and then sit around all day and watch TV. Below average pleasure. Indeed, reading a book would distract her somewhat, and even then not particularly.

Even Pookar could not cheer up Masha. Pookar himself was also languishing. No new diversion was devised. The apartment had long been investigated. The jam had been eaten. Horsing around without the young dragon turned out to be not so interesting.

Once, Masha, Olga, and Pookar were leafing through a picture book, yawning and watching Muffin hunt lazily. The cat was making sluggish movements with a paw towards flies flying around the room; however, it was obvious that she was bored and the flies were not making her happy. Muffin had grown tired of the monotony and the dullness of city life. She wanted to go somewhere in the forest or to the cottage.

“I just have no idea how to kill time! Fight? All the more fun!” Pookar nudged the doll Olga with an elbow, trying to stir her up. Olga only glanced sleepily at him and buried herself in the book. Beyond the window, it was raining already not for the first day, and the feeling of dampness was strong even in the apartment.

“Pirozhkov says that rain is food for crops. But to me, there’s nothing drearier than rain,” Masha sighed.

Pirozhkov had changed greatly after the meeting with Flamy; he had become thoughtful and good friends with Avdokhina. Avdokhina fed her neighbour milk from her store and fattened him with butter. Pirozhkov







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gained five kilograms from the nourishing diet and spoke of Avdokhina only with respect. He now spent whole days on duty on the balcony with opera glasses waiting for the arrival of a UFO or, in the worst case, a herd of pink elephants.

He no longer railed against Masha for sometimes making a noise and did not tap on the heater. Sometimes Pirozhkov invited her to visit and showed her old photos. One of the shots struck Masha the most. In it was a boy of about five years old in shorts and with a bunch of balloons. Pirozhkov found himself all over again in the boy. Masha could not imagine that her gruff neighbour was once a child, loved ice cream, and broke wheels off toy trucks.

After Masha, Pookar, and Olga finished talking about the weather, the conversation, as usual, returned to Flamy. Recently the friends often reminisced about him.

“How’s Flamy there? I wonder what he’s doing now.” Olga said dreamily.

Pookar started to fidget on Masha’s knees, where he usually sat. “If only Flamy would come! Then we’d have fun! Remember how he became the school principal?”

“And when he scared the psychic? It was so funny! The bunnies even had to change their pants!” Olga recalled.

Suddenly the window swung open. A mischievous wind burst into the room, knocked over a flowerpot, tousled Masha’s hair, turned Olga’s dresses around on the clothesline, and again swept back into the courtyard.

Masha straightened the flowerpot, got up on a chair to close the window, and... could not believe her eyes.

“Look, a letter! On the windowsill! Did the wind really bring it?” she exclaimed.

The letter looked mysterious, without a stamp, no address, and unusually large. It was also written not on paper but on pink soft bark rolled into a scroll.

Pookar snatched the bark from Masha’s hands. “Give it here! I’ll read it myself!” He began to move his lips. “P-r-g-n... What’s this letter? I somehow forget!”

Masha took the letter from him and turned it in the other direction.“So that’s why I couldn’t read it! I was holding it upside down.

Annoyances always trap those of us who can read and write!” Pookar guessed.







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While Masha was reading, Pookar and Olga tried to guess the content of the letter from her expression. They tried so hard to look into her face that sometimes they even bumped into her with their foreheads and interfered with Masha reading. Finally, Masha looked up and said happily, “It’s from Flamy! He’s inviting us to visit Fairyland! Tomorrow he’ll come with his mama to take us there.”

“Cool! We’re going to Fairyland!” Pookar delightedly pulled Olga’s braid. Masha and Pookar started to run around the room, stomping and shouting, “Fairyland! Fairyland!”

The doll Olga also wanted to travel, but she did not like decisions not well thought out. First, she thoroughly weighed all the “pros” and “cons.” “On one hand, it’s very nice of Flamy to invite us. But it’s so unexpected. We aren’t ready for a trip yet. Will Masha’s parents let us go to Fairyland? Even if they do, we won’t manage to be ready in one day. We also don’t have a suitable suitcase.”

However, Olga’s prudence did not dampen Masha’s and Pookar’s spirit. In their imagination, they were already flying to Fairyland. Only the thought of Mama and Papa brought Masha some uneasiness. She was not sure that her parents would allow her to travel alone. Masha knitted her brow, thought for a moment, but then shook her head. “Flamy writes that he would take care of Mama and Papa himself. I hope he knows what he’s talking about. It’s not so easy to fool Mama.”

Muffin started to meow excitedly. She also wanted to go to Fairyland because she had lost hope in Moscow strays. While in Fairyland, who knows? Not only dragons live there. Pookar ran to Muffin and jumped onto her back. “Hey, cat! Are you going to the dragons? Isn’t it strange that they invited you too? Don’t they have their own Muffys?”

The friends sat down on the sofa and looked at each other. Everyone experienced such a strong desire to set out on the trip that even the doll Olga was infected by the general impatience. “Okay, to Fairyland then! We just need time to pack.”

The bunnies and the gnome Scholarchkin, having heard about Flamy’s invitation, were very happy. The gnome immediately put a notebook, a ruler, and a small abacus into his briefcase. Scholarchkin even sharpened all his pencils in case he had to write something down quickly.

Pookar rolled the last two jars of jam from the closet and immediately emptied one, saying that the jam would be more comfortable and safer in his stomach than in a cold glass jar.







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Olga washed all her dresses and jeans, ironed everything, neatly packed them in a small suitcase, and began to stock up provisions for the road. She was in such a rush the whole day that it was impossible to get to her.

In the evening on the eve of the trip to Fairyland, Masha came to Mama and buried her head in Mama’s stomach. “Tell me, Mama, would you be very upset if I went somewhere?” she asked with the most innocent voice.

“And where are you going?” Mama asked a little anxiously.“I want to travel to Fairyland,” Masha admitted honestly.Mama sighed in relief. “Really, to Fairyland! Certainly.”Masha was glad that Mama agreed so fast. She ran off to her room to

pack and wait for Flamy.“Poor girl! How bored she must be in the city in the summer. Too bad

we don’t have a cottage,” Papa lamented when he and Mama were left alone.

“Who would be with her there? Indeed, not your mother for sure! If we could spend more time with Masha, the child wouldn’t have to invent all sorts of magical countries,” Mama agreed.

The night before the journey passed uneasily. Everyone was already mentally on the way and nervous about the slightest delay. Since early morning, the merry company was sitting on the suitcases and looking impatiently out the window. The cat Muffin was drumming her tail on the floor and the bunnies could barely refrain from snivelling. Scholarchkin twirled his briefcase. The doll Olga and Masha hastily finished the final preparations: they watered the flowers, fed the fish, and packed up the provisions for the road. Pookar had assembled so much baggage for himself that he could not move it. The jar of jam had to be left behind. Pookar kicked it under the bed and covered it with old newspapers so that it would not be found and eaten until he could.

In the evening, Mama and Papa put Masha to bed and wished her good night. “See you, Mama! See you, Papa!” Masha said much more sentimentally than always. Usually she would say peevishly, “Well! Turn off the light!”

She waited until Mama and Papa went to their room and lay down, and then she quickly got dressed, lighting her room with a flashlight. Flamy should appear any minute. Almost all the windows in the opposite house had already gone dark. Pookar, Olga, Scholarchkin, and the bunnies got out







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from under the bed, where they had been hiding, waiting until Masha’s parents went to sleep.

“When will the dragon come? I’m already worn out! Maybe he was detained on the way?” Pookar was dying of impatience.

“Patience! Once Flamy promised, he’s sure to come.”Masha was right. A quiet tap on the window rang out, then the curtains

flew open, and the young dragon jumped down clumsily into the room. He had grown a little and rounded out, but in general remained the old darling Flamy.

“Long time no see! I missed you awfully!”“We missed you too!”Muffin threw herself at Flamy and licked his ear. She was a very

impressionable young pussycat and she loved to kiss. After Muffin, Masha and the doll Olga climbed to hug Flamy.

A surprised Pookar glanced at Olga, annoyed. “She has to go and do this too! Now that’s sloppy sentimentality.”

Pookar limited himself to patting Flamy patronizingly on his scaly side. “Hello, old fella! What’s up?” he asked.

“What’s with you? Overheated?” Flamy was surprised. Pookar was embarrassed and walked away.

When greetings were over with, Flamy asked, “Did you get the letter? Ready to fly with us?”

“Ready. We were waiting for you. But you promised to arrange things with my parents!” Masha replied.

Flamy let out a shower of sparks from his nostrils. “Don’t worry! They won’t even notice your absence. I’ve thought of everything!” He looked out the window and shouted, “Hey, Misfit, we’re here!”

Another young dragon, slightly smaller than Flamy, flew into the room and looked down bashfully. The second dragonet had huge yellow eyes.

“This is my younger sister Misfit,” Flamy patronisingly introduced her.







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“Pretty, right? The same mould as I! She’ll replace you, Masha, while you’re visiting us. Come on, Misfit, get to work!”

The second young dragon started to blink her yellow eyes and looked attentively at Masha. A moment later, a mischievous girl with light brown hair, an exact copy of Masha, appeared in Misfit’s spot. “Hi! I’m Masha! And who are you?” she said.

The real Masha was bewildered, looking at a live reflection of herself. A stunning resemblance! So that was what Flamy was thinking! Masha raised her hand to her hair, and Misfit also touched her hair. Masha laughed, and Misfit broke into a smile, showing the two front bunny teeth.

“Your parents won’t be able to tell you apart for anything! Now time for us to go! It’s a long way to Fairyland!” Flamy hurried them.

The friends said goodbye to Misfit and went out onto the balcony. It turned out that Flamy had come with his mama. The huge female dragon turned out to be kind and quick to laughter.

Pookar immediately climbed up to introduce himself and declared that in his time he showed fatherly care to her son. “Can say I raised him!” he bragged.

“Who’s this talking to me? I can’t make out at all! A parrot?” Mama Dragon was surprised, not discerning little Pookar.

Pookar felt insulted and started to explain that he was not a parrot, and could not understand how it was possible to take him for a parrot.

“Sure it’s possible! Must admit I often confuse you,” the doll Olga made him happy.

Masha took the cat Muffin and climbed onto the back of Mama Dragon. Pookar, Olga, the gnome Scholarchkin, and the bunnies sat on Flamy. Misfit waved goodbye from the window. The dragons soared into the Moscow night sky.

Flying was surprisingly pleasant. City lights, multicoloured signs, and chains of headlights shimmered below. Flamy and his mama flew high above the houses, invisible from the ground. Masha had the thrill and happiness of flight as never before.

The dragons made a circle above Moscow and turned east. Soon the city disappeared below. Its lights blurred in the dark. The fog obscured the ground.

Masha first turned her head and greedily inhaled the sweet summer air. However, in an hour or two, the rhythmical vibration of the warm dragon back rocked her to sleep. She fell asleep. Although, through her dream







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Masha sensed that they were flying. The cat Muffin curled up next to Masha. Muffin dreamed of a big dragon cat presenting her with a bouquet of white roses.







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Chapter TwoFAIRYLAND

A blue butterfly took off from Masha’s nose and fluttered its silky wings. Masha opened her eyes and saw that she was lying on a clearing with lots of bright colours. A palm tree spread out its fretted leaves above her head. Sunlight streamed through the foliage like vertical, visible streams in which multicoloured butterflies danced.

Masha did not immediately understand how she had turned up in this strange beautiful place. She had the fleeting thought that she was still sleeping, dreaming the glade, and had to lie still so as not to scare away the remarkable dream. However, Masha then remembered the journey to Fairyland and laughed, “So it’s all real! How cool!”

She lifted herself up a little on her elbows. She could see neither Pookar, Scholarchkin, Olga, nor the cat Muffin nearby.

“Where have they gone to?” Masha wanted to call out to them, but right there a banana peel smacked her. Masha looked up and saw Pookar on the top of the palm tree.

“Hey-ho! Enough sleep! Come up! Full of all kinds of yummy here!” Pookar shouted.

Pookar dropped Masha a bunch of bananas. The bunch was hard. Masha barely caught it.

Masha was peeling a banana when Muffin approached her with clumsy jumps. As usual, on first acquaintance with anything, Muffin was captivated and was at a loss for words to express her delight. She rolled about on the grass, started to lick her fur, chased her own tail, and purred a merry song. Masha had never seen her cat so happy.

“Here...everything’s... so... ah!” Muffin could only utter. She looked at Masha with mad eyes and ran off again somewhere.

Pookar flung a peel from the tree at Muffin, but did not hit her and almost fell down himself. Having eaten bananas, Pookar became heavy and took a long time to climb slowly down the palm tree.

“Oh-ho-ho! Not the same now that I’ve aged... If I were five years younger...” Pookar sighed. It is worth noting that five years ago he was not yet around and had not yet been designed.

Masha looked around and caught her breath in delight. Fairyland was beautiful. She had never seen such a blue sky, such light cumulus clouds, and such fresh green foliage. In the distance, a forest showed blue. A cool







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stream murmured. Along the stream grew unknown trees, the branches of which bent under the weight of apples, oranges, and bananas.

The doll Olga emerged from the high grass with chamomile behind her ear. Masha saw precisely for the first time that Olga’s eyes were blue and bright. They did not seem so in the city. The lighting was probably different.













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“Masha, Masha,” the doll Olga began to recount excitedly, “there on the edge of the woods is a little house! It’s so funny and, imagine, Masha, with legs like a chicken!”

Here Olga saw a large orange butterfly and ran after it. Masha began to gather a bouquet but soon left this occupation. When the flowers were broken, they cried and asked her not to hurt them. Masha apologized and put them on the grass. The flowers immediately rooted to the ground.

Dragon wings began to flap. Flamy flew to Masha and, playing, gently nudged her shoulder with his head. “I wanted to wake you, but Mama said that you should have a good sleep... Did you? Let’s go for breakfast! Imagine, Mama prepared mustard cakes and cooked a barrel of pepper compote. But I’m not allowed to sit down at the table. I was told to call our guests.”

“Mustard cakes? Pepper compote?” Masha was not sure that she liked this.

The young dragon laughed. “Ah, I forgot that you don’t like spicy things! Doesn’t matter... My mama won’t leave anyone hungry.”

Flamy found the cat Muffin, Olga, and the bunnies in the grass. Sineus and Truvor were so stupefied by the sun and the greenery that they stood quietly under a tree, holding paws, and were even afraid to breathe loudly in case the miracle vanished.

Flamy brought the friends to a cliff on the edge of the forest. The cliff, overgrown with moss, rose up to the sky. Neither a single cave nor at least a crack.

“You live here?” Olga was surprised.“We live here!” Flamy delighted in his friends’ amazement and

pronounced,

“Open gateWith a key-lock,And a golden kerchief.”9

Something started to grind. A huge boulder in the cliff turned, revealing marble steps. Scholarchkin sighed and grabbed a pencil. He had to put what he saw down in his notebook without fail. The cat Muffin carefully and

9 This is from a folkloric incantation: The tsar had a wife, she opened the gate, with a key, a lock, a silk kerchief.







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incredulously touched the cliff with a paw. Flamy was satisfied, “That’s all! No need for any door with a bell!”

Masha, Scholarchkin, Muffin, the bunnies, and Pookar began to go down the marble steps after Flamy. A wide spiral staircase illuminated by torches led into the depth of the mountain. The torches lit up and went out as if by magic.

“Wow! Technology on the verge of fantasy!” Pookar approved.Pookar’s words were picked up and echoed many times. The steps led

out to a spacious hall. Masha had never seen such a richly decorated hall before. To the right and left, rows of very tall white columns were lined with marble. A powerful jet hit the fountain in the centre. Small sprays scattered in all directions.

A big owl sat on a perch by the fountain and screwed up her eyes discontentedly.

“This is the owl Fima! She has already lived with us for two hundred years,” Flamy said.

“Wow, what an owl! Can I stroke her?” Masha stretched out her hand and was terribly surprised when the owl Fima pulled away and muttered, “Before touching someone, girl, wash your hands and ask for permission. Where are your manners? Would you like it if strange birds flew up to you and started to peck you?”

“No, I wouldn’t,” said Masha.“Then make the corresponding conclusions and mark them well!” the

owl said and ruffled up.“Don’t mind her! She grumbles all the time. She’s of such a nature. Let’s

go to the table!” Flamy whispered, taking Masha aside.He led the friends through an underground garden. It was gloomy in the

garden and they had to go by feel.“Why is it so dark? What are you hiding here?” asked Pookar.“Here grow the thorniest cacti in the world, but they can’t stand light at

all. They say the cacti can fulfill the cherished desire of the one who sees them when they bloom,” Flamy explained.

“Have they already bloomed?” the doll Olga asked.“Not yet, but who knows when it’ll happen,” Flamy replied seriously.From the underground garden, the friends found themselves in the

living room. The living room of dragons was completely dissimilar to that of humans. The armchairs and sofas in it were flying freely through the air,







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and a luxuriously decorated table was circling near the ceiling. Light came from the hundreds of colourful windows in the ceiling and the walls.

“Four of us live here. Grandpa, Mama, Misfit, and me. Mama you already know. And this is my grandpa!”

On one of the couches, with paws tucked under him, lay a huge dragon with silvery scales. He was two-headed and both of his heads were looking at Masha with interest.

“These are my friends, Grandpa Gorynych!”10 Flamy made the introduction.

“Pleased to meet you!” Grandpa Gorynych’s heads said in a deep bass in a disjointed chorus and then discontentedly looked askance at each other.

As mentioned already, Grandpa Gorynych had two heads and both were of a difficult nature. Formerly they quarrelled in early youth but still could not make peace now. Sometimes their relationship went so far that the heads communicated only through an interpreter, a role that Flamy usually took on.

“Grandson, ask this scatterbrain where he misplaced my glasses!” Gorynych’s right head would say then, not looking to the left.

“Tell him to look for it himself, old stump!” the left head would reply.

Sometimes Gorynych’s heads temporarily made peace and started to talk about old times. However, at the most interesting places one would begin without fail to catch the other on inaccuracies and accuse it of senility.

“It was, as far as I remember, four hundred years ago,” the left said.

10 Gorynych is a dragon-like creature in Slavic mythology. He has three heads that breathe fire, walks on two back paws, and has two small front paws. According to an epic poem, he was killed by Dobrynya Nikitich. See Part 1 Chapter 3.







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“Not four hundred, but two hundred. Then another Frenchman came!” the right specified.

“The Frenchman came after, but then you still wanted to get married. Remember now, scatterbrain?”

“I wanted to get married? A complete lie! It’s you who wanted to! You never had any taste!”

The heads would have nothing to do with each other and pointedly turned away.

Having greeted Grandpa Gorynych and Flamy’s mama, the friends jumped into armchairs flying up and soared to the ceiling. Pookar liked flying in an armchair so much that he flew all over the living room in it and circled around the table, snatching the tastiest pieces. Olga became ashamed of Pookar and began to make remarks to him in a loud whisper. This so amused Gorynych’s right head that it choked on pepper compote.

Flamy’s mama turned out to be a skilful cook. Besides pepper and mustard dishes, she made yet another huge cake. The cake she made was the size of a bookcase. Enough for a hundred people.

“When I was cooking, I didn’t know exactly what size Masha would turn out to be and decided to be safe. I can’t stand it when my guests leave the table hungry. Where am I going to put the leftovers of the cake now?” Mama Dragon asked anxiously.

“Won’t be any leftovers!” Pookar assured her and jumped right into the cream.

Pookar disappeared headfirst. Sweet jelly closed over him like a quagmire. Several seconds passed and the cake started to sink right in front of their eyes and sucked in from inside as if with the strongest vacuum cleaner. Soon the whole middle of the cake was gone and a triumphant Pookar, with a bloated belly, appeared on the dish. He was soiled with cream from head to toe, but sated as never before.

“For such a small kid, you have a fairly good appetite,” Mama Dragon acknowledged, eating mustard pies the size of a pillow.

Gorynych’s heads clinked glasses and drank up a shot of pepper vodka. It went well with the right head. It even grunted. However, the left choked, coughed, and issued a jet of steam from an ear.

The cat Muffin also would not be outdone. She curled up like a ball on the armchair, and a school of fried fish circled above her head. From time to time, at regular intervals, a fish separated from the school and dived right







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into the cat’s mouth. Muffin simply swooned with happiness. Why no breakfast in bed?

When the meal was done, Mama Dragon said to Flamy, “Son, show your friends the island! And take Grandpa Gorynych with you.”

“Island? Are we really on an island?” Scholarchkin’s red cap flew off from surprise.

“Uh-huh! On the island of Buyan, in the ocean-sea...”11 Flamy confirmed.

11 Buyan in Slavic mythology is a mysterious island in the ocean, which can appear and disappear, with miraculous power and magical things that help heroes in their battles with evil. In the ocean-sea simply means a vast expanse of water.







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Chapter ThreeON THE ISLAND OF BUYAN

Grandpa Gorynych spoke about the island of Buyan, and he knew a lot. Scholarchkin’s notebook bulged from a multitude of all kinds of information. Gorynych seldom happened to meet so attentive and grateful an audience. The old fellow took a liking to the guests, found a lot to talk about, and in time restored peace between his heads. He sat the guests on his back and soared above the island with them.

Masha learned that Buyan was far away in the ocean. It was covered on top by a cobweb woven by magic silkworms. While the web was intact, Buyan was invisible either from the sky or from a ship. Hence, very few people on Earth know this little fantastic corner.

“You say that Buyan is invisible, but we see it! A contradiction!” asked the gnome Scholarchkin, who was fond of accuracy in everything.

“What, didn’t I indeed tell you?” Gorynych was surprised. His heads looked reproachfully at each other. “Our Buyan is only hidden from adults, and the magic web doesn’t apply to children. Therefore, you could turn up here.”

“When we’re grown, we won’t be able to visit you at least sometimes?” Masha asked. She guessed by herself what the answer would be, but was disappointed all the same when Gorynych replied, “Buyan is open to you only while you’re kids.”

Gorynych either fell towards the ground or soared up under the clouds. He flew around the island so that the guests could view it. The dragon showed Masha the Talking Forest, the Enchanted Valley, and the Lifeless Mountains.

“Keep this in mind! In the Lifeless Mountains live the Miseries.12

Promise that you’ll never go there!” Gorynych warned them.Masha wanted to know more about the Miseries but felt that it was

unpleasant for Gorynych to talk about it. The dragon grew significantly gloomy mentioning the inhabitants of the Lifeless Mountains.

“At the edge of the forest I saw such a strange little house on chicken claws. Who lives there?” the doll Olga asked to distract Gorynych from unpleasant thoughts.

12 In East Slavic mythology, there are small invisible evil sprites called zlydni (wicked creatures) that bring misfortune to any home that they settle in. It is necessary to get rid of them by deception and once that is done, the home will become wealthy.







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“Little house on chicken claws? Ha-ha! Say again: chicken feet! It’s the hut on chicken legs!” Flamy, who was flying next to grandpa, set her straight. “Baba-Yaga13 lives there. The dearest old lady. I often visit her. Baba-Yaga is nice, though she also likes to grumble a bit. Let’s visit her right now.”

Flamy and Grandpa Gorynych went down to the hut on chicken legs. A broom leaned against a rickety fence. A fat black cat was lying near the broom, sunning himself. Muffin, as soon as she spotted him, quickly washed up and arched her back coquettishly.

“Hel-lo! Wh-at have we he-re! Why did you co-me to us?” the cat purred lazily. It was obvious that he would not mind chatting and was looking for a suitable opportunity to make conversation.

“This is the cat Meown. And this is Masha, Olga, Pookar, the bunnies Sineus and Truvor ...” Flamy said.

However, Meown had little interest in the bunnies or even all the others. He had secretly spied Muffin and was apparently pondering whether to be better acquainted with her.

“And who’s this so fluffy one?” The cat fluffed up his whiskers, stood up, and stretched. Meown was larger than Muffin and presented himself as a cat in his prime.

“My name’s Martha, I’m a cat. You can call me Muffin!” Muffin dropped her eyes and began to paw the sand.

“I don’t doubt that you’re a cat. You don’t look at all like a dog,” said the cat Meown, reaching out and sniffing Muffin’s ear.

“Wha-at pur-r-r-fume do you use?” he drawled. “Eau-de-Cologne!” Pookar, not pleased to remain on the sidelines, tried

to stir things up.“To-o-o no-oi-sy here! Want me to show you how potatoes bloom? It’s so

glamorous!” Meown looked at Pookar as at an empty place and set off to the garden with Muffin.

Meanwhile, the mistress of the hut on chicken legs, Baba-Yaga, looked out of the window when she heard their voices. “Hark-hark! Who’s calling on us? Now I’ll stoke the oven, chop firewood, and eat you!”

Sineus and Truvor believed it and started to whimper. The old woman softened, pitied the bunnies, and grumbled, “Don’t worry, squirts, I was

13 Baba-Yaga is a Slavic folkloric character, an aged crone and a witch that lives in the forest in a hut on chicken legs.







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kidding. Come to me, I’ll give you gingerbread. But go cry on the beds, the onion there hasn’t been watered for a long time.”

“Watch what happens now!” Flamy whispered mischievously and loudly gave an order, “Hut, hut! Turn your back to the forest and your front to me! Stand up as before, as mother placed you!”

The hut clucked, squeaked, and turned. An alarmed crow flew down from the roof.

“What a cool little house! Hut, hut! Circle! Forward, march! Count off house numbers one after another!” Pookar caught fire.

However, instead of obeying, the hut raised one of its chicken legs and, after folding it up carefully, showed Pookar the finger.

“It’s learned. Recognizes its own,” Flamy said, comforting a disconcerted Pookar.













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“Enter the parlour, dear guests! Guests are always welcome here, especially if they don’t stay too long,” Baba-Yaga archly invited.

Masha and her friends entered Baba-Yaga’s. A large Russian stove occupied half of the room. Bunches of herbs hung on the walls. Phials and bottles with decoctions for all afflictions and illnesses stood on the shelves.

“I won’t feed you! It’s so clear that you just came from the table. Especially this bubble,” Baba-Yaga said and poked Pookar’s tummy with a gnarled finger.

Pookar sulked, went to the other end of the hut away from Yaga, and angrily began to pick the whitewash off the stove with a nail. He spotted a basket of red apples on a bench, looked sideways at the hostess, and after unnoticeably taking an apple, bit off half. He had not yet managed to swallow it when he felt that something wrong was happening to him. His short legs stretched out and horns erupted on his head. “Help!” Pookar wanted to yell but it came out, “Baa! Baa!”

Masha turned around and saw a rather chubby kid in a jacket with many pockets.

“You don’t lift apples without permission! Now I’ll leave you a kid! You’ll grow up and become a goat!” grumbled Baba-Yaga, who immediately understood everything. Pookar bleated and indignantly stomped his hoofs.

Flamy and Masha begged the hostess to lift the spell off Pookar. Only the doll Olga, declaring that Pookar was much more likeable as a kid in her opinion, was against it. Baba-Yaga gave Pookar another apple, small and sour. The kid bit it off and instantly stood up on its hind legs, gradually assuming the features of the former Pookar. Only a small white tail remained and did not want to vanish at all. Pookar felt it to be a great burden and demanded to have the tail removed.

“Not all at once! Patience! In a day, the tail will fall off by itself. But if you pull it, it’ll remain,” Baba-Yaga warned him. Although Pookar did not want to wait, he had to.

Baba-Yaga was grumpy but had a kind heart. She gave Masha a magic herbal tea to drink, after saying, “Drink up! You’re a beauty now! When you grow up, you’ll be even more so! A girl who’s a lovely sight!”

The old woman gave the gnome Scholarchkin a notebook with a soft leather binding. It looked slim but the pages never ended, he could write as much as he wanted. Sineus and Truvor received from Baba-Yaga a magic carrot, which did not get any smaller after three days of nibbling. A self-boiling pot fell to the doll Olga’s lot. Pookar at first wanted to ask for a







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magic sword, but then contented himself with a bottle-opener that was, it goes without saying, also magical. Pookar regularly had difficulties with big jam jars, but this opener did everything by itself. Even searched for jars by itself. It was only necessary to strike the handle on the floor three times.

Having presented the guests with gifts, Baba-Yaga sent them packing from the hut and climbed onto the stove herself. In the courtyard, the friends met the cat Muffin in a terrible temper. It turned out that the cat Meown had inadvertently dozed off in the sun during a private conversation with the lady.

“He purred and purred. Wanted to kiss my paw and then – bam! – was snoring!” Muffin was hopping mad.

“That doesn’t surprise me a bit! You, Muffy, are the best cure for insomnia,” Pookar said sarcastically, covering his goat tail with his hand.

“Let’s play nimble!” Flamy suddenly suggested.“What is it?”“It’s playing tag, hide and seek, catch, and follow-the-leader all at the

same time!”Nimble turned out to be a fascinating game. The day flew by unnoticed.

Near the end, the friends were so covered in pollen that they were like overgrown bees.

The sun was already hanging over the horizon. It would soon get dusky. Fine days somehow always end quickly and only boring ones stretch endlessly. Flower buds began to close. Baba-Yaga’s hut tucked the chicken legs under itself and went to sleep. Raven cawing wafted out of the Talking Forest. Flamy’s face became concerned. “Time to go! Mama will be worried! And look out that the Miseries don’t appear! We must manage before the first star, or the mountain won’t open!”

“What are these Miseries? I bet I’ll deal with them double quick! They just don’t know what a blow I can deliver with my forehead!” Pookar declared.

Not saying a word, Flamy grabbed Pookar by the jacket collar with his teeth and took off. Masha, holding the bunnies by the hands, the cat Muffin, Olga, and Scholarchkin barely kept pace with Flamy. They could not understand why the young dragon was in such a hurry, but his unease was passed onto them. The friends fled with all their might, trying not to be left behind.

However, here was Dragon Mountain. Flamy unclenched his teeth and Pookar tumbled onto the grass. “How could you treat a great hero who







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raised you this way?” Pookar was outraged, leaping up and shaking down his pants. The others ran up. Flamy shouted in a hurry,

“Open gateWith a key-lock,And a golden kerchief.”

The passage in the cliff opened up. The torches on the walls blazed up. The owl Fima’s eyes blinked like yellow traffic lights. Flamy pushed Masha to the cave entrance. He looked troubled. The cat Muffin, Olga, the bunnies, and Scholarchkin hurried after Masha. Flamy picked up a displeased Pookar by the collar and jumped into the cave with him. As soon as they got on the stairs, the cliff closed tightly shut, almost catching Masha’s skirt. The first star had ascended.

“Whew! Just made it! Another minute and we’d have to spend the night in the forest. There the Miseries would indeed seize us. Night is their time!” Flamy sighed with relief.







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Chapter FourTHE STORY ABOUT THE ISLAND OF BUYAN AND THE MISERIES

“I was very worried! Son, how can this be?” Mama Dragon met the friends at the threshold of the living room. Flamy dropped his eyes guiltily. He did not like making his mama worry.

“I’ve already heard about the Miseries so many times but know nothing about them.” Masha could not stand it.

Mama Dragon hesitated, pondering, and nodded sadly. “Fine! I’ll tell you. Only it’s bedtime for the bunnies! Come on, kids, I’ll put you in Flamy’s old cradle.”

The cradle turned out to be not small, and there was room on the pillow for both bunnies together on the bed. They curled up, tossed and turned a little, and fell asleep. Sineus and Truvor were so tired out with running about in the day that they did not even demand a fairy tale.

“Now I’ll show you your room!” Mama Dragon led Masha, Muffin, the doll Olga, Scholarchkin, and Pookar to a spacious bedroom with a fireplace, very cosy and warm.

Pookar immediately towed in by air a flying armchair from the living room and declared that he would spend the night in it. Masha, Olga, and the gnome Scholarchkin lay down together in one huge bed with a real feather mattress, in which they almost disappeared completely, and the cat Muffin stretched out by the burning fireplace.

Pookar hung his head from the flying chair. “Please tell us about the Miseries! You promised! I must know what is in store for me to beat.”

Mama Dragon laughed joylessly. “Forget about it! Where are you going to cross swords with them, tyke?” She poured out the following story to the guests:

“Once, the whole Earth was the same as the island of Buyan. Knights, kings, and princes lived in it. Life in those days was much more interesting than now. Princesses turned into frogs, and in order to break the spell, it was necessary to marry them. As a result, the demographic problem was dealt with by itself. Only the voluntary Society of Protection of Frogs, established by a family of grumpy witches, objected. Monsters and giants were encountered everywhere. Kind smiling robbers buried countless treasures in the ground, only they were not lazy and dug about three times







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with a shovel. Kings were happy to divide their kingdoms in half and were very offended if someone refused them.

“However, over time, there were more and more people but fewer and fewer good adventures and tales. First the monsters and the giants disappeared, indeed they were wiped out very zealously. Then the princess-frogs somehow all quickly rushed out to get married and new ones did not appear – the secret of the magic was lost. Seven grouchy witches were in glee. Mermaids and water-sprites were caught along with fish. The majority of the treasures were found, while the rest went deeper into the ground, not to be tracked down. The kingdoms of all the good kings were taken away, while the wicked were not in too much of a hurry to share. The river of milk was drunk up. Scarlet flowers were plucked. Earth was depleted of magic.

“Then all the remaining wood-goblins, water-sprites, house-spirits, dragons, princesses, giants, and mermaids moved to the island of Buyan, invisible thanks to the web, which the silkworm weaves day and night.

“The silkworm was created by Lonely Wizard, the most powerful of good wizards that ever lived on Earth. Lonely Wizard was very old and wise. He foresaw that all fantastic beings would have to live on the island of Buyan. Now Lonely Wizard became the protector of Fairyland. Sensing the approach of death (wizards also die), he went to Lifeless Mountains and settled in a tiny cave, where he turned the pages of the Book of Truth day and night. That was a thousand years ago. No one has seen him since.

“Life in Fairyland continued to take its course until a terrible storm broke out a hundred years ago. The invisible web was torn to shreds by the wind and rain, and before the silkworm wove a new one, the Miseries suddenly appeared. It isn’t known where they came from and what they look like. On dark nights, they drag away those island inhabitants who don’t manage to hide in their homes, which increasingly become like fortresses. They also say that the Miseries settled somewhere in Lifeless Mountains.”

Mama Dragon’s voice trembled, as if she knew a little more than she had said. She finished her story, but nobody uttered a sound. Everyone was still impressed by what they had heard. Masha, and not only Masha, no longer wanted to sleep. You try sleeping when the mysterious Miseries are roaming somewhere close by. Only Pookar was not frightened but, on the contrary, became animated. “I’ll beat the Miseries! Let them come to me here!”







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Pookar plucked up courage and struck the back of the flying armchair with his fist. The armchair bucked in surprise and Pookar fell down into Masha’s arms. The girl set the hero on her knees and began to comb his tangled red hair. Pookar tore away, protested, and sought to fight with the Miseries, but Masha did not let him go until he had calmed down.

“You just lie down to sleep! There’s still time tomorrow to have a good talk. Flamy will take you to Ivanushka14 tomorrow. Ivanushka is great fun, though strange,” Mama Dragon said.

Flamy and his mother said goodnight to the guests and left. Masha tossed and turned a little, imagining the Miseries as either black birds or terrifying monsters in cowls. However, fatigue soon overcame her and she fell asleep.

In the morning, the friends woke up fresh and well-rested. Pookar got up first and roused the others, flying around the room on the flying armchair and ramming into everything in turn.

“What, are you going to sleep until noon? We’re going to miss breakfast!” Pookar yelled, yanking the blanket off Masha.

After breakfast, Masha, the doll Olga, Pookar, Muffin, and Scholarchkin set off with Flamy for a walk through Talking Forest. The bunnies were tired from yesterday’s trip and remained with Grandpa Gorynych. He knew many fairy tales and was not averse to telling them. Sineus and Truvor could not believe their luck.

There were many merits to Talking Forest, but there was a serious drawback. It was necessary to greet every tree and bush individually, otherwise they would take offence. The trees gossiped day and night about everything that happened all around. Any nanny goat just had to whisper even the most insignificant secret into the ear of a small insect friend and it would become known throughout the forest. It was not surprising that the trees already knew about the arrival of Masha and her friends at the dragons’ place.

14 Ivan the Fool, or Ivanushka-durachok, is a simple-minded but lucky and likeable young man in Russian folktales. He is only perceived as a fool because of his simple nature and candour, characteristics that help him in his adventures.







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“You’re the girl from Moscow?” they asked.

Each time Masha had to answer, “Yes, I am! Thanks! I really like it!” After about five minutes, she was very tired of the same questions and monotonous replies and barely moved her tongue.

A small and bashful flower fairy addressed Pookar respectfully and called him an irresistible young man. It was not known with what purpose she did it. Perhaps she wanted to flatter the metropolitan guest or was simply myopic. Pookar became awfully puffed-up and was walking around with an important air till the end of the day, sticking out his belly and nodding to the others condescendingly. He looked so funny that Masha barely restrained herself from laughing out loud.

Finally, they came to the edge of the forest. The young dragon pointed to a small log cabin. Its owner was sitting on the porch and playing a reed flute.

“Here lives Ivan the fool. Only don’t you call him a fool, or else he’ll be offended,” Flamy whispered.

Pookar ran up to Ivanushka and looked at him sourly, “So you are Ivan the Foo...” Pookar said, then remembered Flamy’s request and faded.

“What Foo..? What’s the Foo..?” Ivanushka, squinting slyly, asked, having stopped playing. In reality, Ivanushka was not a fool at all, but he loved to work for the public’s benefit and in general upheld the established

opinion.Masha rushed to Pookar’s

assistance. “Foo..? He was referring to your flute. He likes the way you play!”

“Ah, the flute! Then I’ll play some more for you!” Ivanushka was pleased and how he played! The musical Muffin almost fainted.

Ivanushka broke into a smile and rushed to show the birdhouse, which







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he had made for songbirds. He climbed onto the roof and knocked on the birdhouse with a finger. “Chir-p! Chir-p!” came from there.

“Wow! Singing! It means they’re at home!” Ivanushka was happy and cocked his head. He then invited the guests to his cabin.

Pookar immediately felt at home here. It was as messy in Ivanushka’s hut as in Pookar’s boot. Things were lying in piles on the table and on the floor. The stove had not been stoked. An overgrown geranium bloomed on the windowsill and flies drowsily hit against the glass.

“No time for tidying up. Since my sister Alenushka15 disappearred, everything has fallen apart at home,” Ivanushka said in embarrassment.

“Where did she go? Got married and ran off?” the tactless Pookar asked.A tear slid down Ivanushka’s cheek. “The Miseries dragged her away.

Alenushka went by the water in the evening and never returned. I searched and searched, called and called!”

Everybody felt uncomfortable. They felt sorry for Ivanushka and wanted very much that the sister Alenushka and the brother Ivanushka had never parted, that everything shone and bloomed in their cabin on the edge of Talking Forest.

Pookar tugged Ivanushka’s pant leg encouragingly. “I’ll help you find your Alenushka!”

Ivanushka smiled sadly and stroked Pookar’s red hair.Everyone was quiet on the way back. If only they could help the

inhabitants of the island of Buyan to deal with the Miseries! However, none of the friends knew exactly what to do and therefore their mood was poor. Only Pookar and the gnome Scholarchkin were whispering to each other. It looked like they were deciding on something.

Suddenly, a wind came up and the talking trees creaked, “Terrible news, awful news! The Miseries dragged the cat Meown away at night!”

The cat Muffin meowed angrily and arched her back. “This is outrageous! The cat may have fallen asleep on a date, but he didn’t deserve to be kidnapped by the Miseries! I’ll show them what modern Moscow cats are capable of! I’ll cover them with scratches! They’ll regret that they were born!”

The trees heard Muffin’s words and delivered them throughout the forest. The rumour quickly acquired all new details. “The cat challenges the

15 In the Russian folktale Sister Alenushka and Brother Ivanushka, Ivanushka turns into a goat after drinking from a well. Alenushka agrees to marry the rich man who wants to take care of both of them.







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Miseries! She says that she’ll tear them apart with her claws! Long live the cat-liberator! Muffin challenged the Miseries! She says they won’t even have any bones left!”

“How reckless! Now the Miseries will definitely find out and get into a rage!” Flamy said, shaking his head.

However, every little flower looked at the cat Muffin with hope and admiration. “Liberator! Liberator!” they repeated.

“Cat-liberator!” Pookar mimicked. “Incredible! Your complete lack of modesty, Muff, always amazes me!”







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Chapter FiveMUFFIN THE CAT-LIBERATOR

By the evening, every leaf of Talking Forest knew that a ferocious and fearless cat, which could tear the Miseries to pieces with her claws, had shown up in Fairyland. Flowers bowed when she appeared and admired Muffin’s beauty and courage.

“And you can’t say that she looks so dangerous!” some whispered.“You just haven’t seen her claws! They slide out to four metres and split

even an oak trunk,” others assured them.Muffin instantly became a universal cult figure. The cat herself in her

heart considered that she deserved all this praise. “Since birth I’ve had a feeling that I have to do something special!” she said.

Pookar was jealous of the cat’s success. “Why does nobody proclaim me the Pookar-liberator? How blind is rumour! Don’t they indeed know that when Pookar gets down to business, success runs to him at breakneck speed?”

“How could it not break, this neck of yours...” Olga added.The friends laughed mirthlessly. They knew that they would need all

their fortitude to free Alenushka and Meown. Scholarchkin opened his notebook and prepared his pencil. “Does anybody have a plan?”

Pookar perked up. “Uh-huh! You need to sneak up on the Miseries and pounce on them. Bam! And it’s a sure thing! Alenushka freed, and the Miseries punished.”

“You, Pookar, have watched too many fighters on TV. I’ve never heard of a more miserable plan. Do you think about what you’re saying? ‘Sneak up... pounce!’ The bears in Talking Forest are stronger than you, and they’ve all been dragged off,” said a sensible Olga.

Masha came up with something better. She proposed going to Baba-Yaga for her advice on how to crack down on the Miseries. Baba-Yaga could give good advice.

When they came up to the hut on chicken legs, the old woman was rummaging about in the garden. She was in a bad mood and grumbling, “Roving kitty, darn it all! You gad about all the time through the night, now you’re done roaming. Could have sat at home, would’ve been better off. Bonehead!”

Although Baba-Yaga was mad at Meown, it was obvious that she was bored without the cat. Noticing Masha, the old woman beckoned her with a







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gnarled finger. “I heard and heard about your venture. Incredible, what fools! Trumpeted to the whole forest! Now every fly knows about it. Cat Muffin-liberator! Indeed, eh, taken it into your head to battle the Miseries?”

“Yes, grandmother. Will you help us?”“How will I help you? What am I, an old woman hero? I’m an elderly

woman and I don’t participate in battles! What do you want from me?”Scholarchkin looked searchingly at Baba-Yaga. “Magic sword?16 Seven-

league boots? An apple on a saucer with a gold rim?”17

“How do you like that! Nosed out everything! They know better than the old woman herself what lies in the trunk,” Baba-Yaga threw up her hands.

“We read fairy tales,” the doll Olga explained.“So be it! I’ll help!” Baba-Yaga led the guests into the hut and opened

the trunk. The old woman rummaged in it for a long time and pulled out a cracked saucer. “Quite worn! Doesn’t matter: it still serves my will!”

Yaga set a magic apple rolling along the saucer. Immediately there was a noise on the bottom like a TV that needs tuning. Then on the saucer appeared an image of an unpleasantly depressing place: heavy rocks overhanging a barely perceptible trail, a low grey sky, and a large castle with towers and a drawbridge. The towering walls of the fortress, surrounded by a moat with water, were overgrown with moss. There was not a soul visible in the vicinity.

“How are we to get there? You would have to fly on a magic carpet or run in seven-league boots!” Masha asked.

Baba-Yaga grinned.“Lifeless Mountains aren’t so easy to overcome. A spell has been cast on

them. A magic carpet won’t fly over and seven-league boots won’t go past. Lonely Wizard imposed this ban a thousand years ago so that he wouldn’t 16 In Russian folklore, some heroes get this sword, which is magical and makes the owner invincible, from some secret cache.17 In Russian fairy tales, when one rolls an apple on a saucer, it is possible to see what is happening in faraway places or where some fairytale character can be located.







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be distracted from serious thoughts. I tried to fly down on the mortar once. Thought perhaps the spell had dissipated. Not so! It’s as if a wall blocks the mortar. Have to go on foot, if you make up your mind. So, doveys!”

Baba-Yaga tookt a magic tablecloth and a cap of invisibility out of the trunk, “What to do with the tablecloth and the cap, you’ll figure out without me. Just watch you don’t lose them. They’re my one and only. No others.”

“Do you want us to write you a receipt according to all regulations?” Pookar proposed.

“You learn the letters first, writer!” Olga nudged him with an elbow.The friends thanked Baba-Yaga and made up their minds to leave.Before saying goodbye to Masha, the old woman quickly made the sign

of the cross over her. “Though I’m Baba-Yaga, but, look, it’ll help!”18

Then the old woman hurriedly turned away. She was touched, but considered that it was proper for Yaga to be brusque and grumpy.

Masha came out of the hut on chicken legs imbued with a new feeling. Three days ago, she could not have imagined that she would be in Fairyland and have the courage to challenge the Miseries. The cat Muffin stepped softly next to Masha. Pookar, Scholarchkin, and Olga travelled on top of the young dragon. Flamy was serious and melancholy. He was thinking how distressed his mama would be when she found out that he and his friends were going to the Miseries’ fortress.

Flamy went up to the cliff where his home was and quietly uttered the usual,


18 This refers to the fact that Baba-Yaga is a witch, while the sign of the cross is a Christian blessing ritual.







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The boulder rolled to the side and the torches lit up. The owl Fima sadly blinked her heavy eyelids. Mama Dragon was standing by the fountain and looking at Flamy. It seemed to him that Mama’s eyes were red, or maybe it was simply the torches?

“Mama, we...” Flamy was about to begin but Mama Dragon interrupted him. She already knew everything.

“When?”“Tomorrow morning!”Mama Dragon gasped and hugged Flamy with her soft paws. Grandpa

Gorynych came up.“What’s there to hide? We knew that sooner or later this wwould

happen. There was an ancient prophecy about a girl and a young dragon that would free the island of Buyan from the Miseries,” the right head said.

“You’re really sure that it’s not about a cat? You haven’t mixed up anything?” Muffin warily asked.

Gorynych’s left head smiled. “Maybe my brother simply forgot about the cat... His noggin is full of holes,” he said.

“Shifting the blame!” the right muttered through clenched teeth.Muffin was consoled.“Tomorrow morning we’ll take you to Lifeless Mountains. You’ll have to

go further by yourselves!” said Mama Dragon.“Why didn’t the prophecy talk about Scholarchkin and me? Why are we

worse than the others?” Pookar was outraged.Gorynych’s heads again had to engage in diplomacy, claiming that

Pookar and the gnome could also be mentioned in the prophecy. Somewhere between the lines.

The preparation lasted all night. Nobody slept. They decided not to take Sineus and Truvor with them. The hike was dangerous. Besides, the bunnies were also not too eager to fight with the Miseries.

At dawn Gorynych and Mama Dragon brought Masha and her friends to Lifeless Mountains. They could not go any further because of the spell imposed on all adult inhabitants of Fairyland.

Lifeless Mountains staggered one with their height and inaccessibility. It seemed they were resting against the sky. A single rocky trail, here and there almost imperceptible, led upwards. It was obvious that no one had gone along it for a long time.

“What lofts they’ve built for themselves! I regret that I’m not a mountain goat,” Pookar was carried away.







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“You had the chance. Strange that you didn’t take advantage of it,” the doll Olga said maliciously.

Masha, Flamy, Pookar, Olga, and Scholarchkin climbed up the rocky path. Muffin went ahead. She was the most dexterous and not afraid of heights. Pookar and Olga rode most of the way on Flamy’s back. Their short legs did not allow them to move fast enough. At times the footpath stretched to a precipice and they had to walk with their backs pressed against the cliff. It was impossible to look down: the head would start to spin and it was easily possible to fall down. However, the friends knew that courage always came with reward in Fairyland. If you want something very much, your wish will definitely come true.

At around eleven Pookar began to demand a second breakfast. “I agree we already had breakfast in the morning! But it’s proper for us civilized people to still have a second breakfast!”

The friends, though, did not halt for the sake of a second breakfast. Indeed, they did not have much time. It was necessary to go as far as possible before darkness. Then Pookar decided to have breakfast on the go and spread out the magic tablecloth on Flamy’s back.

“Now I’ll order about five jars of jam! And chocolate with gingerbread!” he said, lost in daydreams.

However, it turned out that the tablecloth would only prepare national Russian dishes, namely cabbage soup and kasha, and pelmeni,19 in a pinch.

“What if I don’t want cabbage soup? What if I want jam?” Pookar was outraged.

Climbing along the path up the hill was very tiring. Masha, Muffin, Flamy, and Scholarchkin were tired. Only Pookar and Olga, who’d had a nap on Flamy’s back remained cheerful and insisted on continuing the journey. The others were simply knocked out.

The friends came to a creek. It was a fast shallow creek, gurgling along the stony slope of the mountain. Masha and Flamy settled down to rest by the creek. The cat and Scholarchkin entered the water to wash. Suddenly Muffin screamed and jumped out of the creek. Masha and Flamy ran to her. “What happened, Muffin?”

“Look! There are flowers on our side of the stream but not over there. Here the water is light, but there it is dark!”

True, on this side of the creek, where they were standing, the grass was green and flowers were growing, but on the opposite side, the grass was

19 Pelmeni is a Siberian dish of small meat-filled dumplings similar in shape to tortellini.







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yellow and the flowers drooped. There the ground of the Miseries started. Only now did the friends realize how dangerous the attempted undertaking was.

“Pookar, are you scared? I am, very,” Masha whispered.“Don’t be afraid! We have supercat Muffin with laser claws! We won’t

fail with her... Hey, SuperMuffy, why are you trembling? Keep your tail up!” Pookar shouted sarcastically.

After resting, the friends crossed the creek and set foot on the Miseries’ ground. It was already past noon. It was clear that they would not manage the dragons’ cave before nightfall. So, turning back was not possible. It only remained to go forward.

“Now, whether we want to or not, we have to become heroes,” Flamy stated.

The closer the friends got to the Miseries’ fortress, the more lifeless the view became. Grass, flowers, and trees disappeared. The cliffs became higher. The footpath narrowed and disappeared altogether towards the end.

Evening arrived without notice, but they still had not reached the Miseries’ fortress. It became clear that they would have to spend the night in Lifeless Mountains under the open sky.













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“I love sleeping in the fresh air: a breeze, the coolness... And no mosquitoes. Olga likes mosquitoes, but I simply can’t stand them,” Pookar declared cheerfully. Olga pursed her lips and said nothing. She had time to be terribly tired of Pookar for the day.

“Spending the night in Lifeless Mountains! Br-r-r! Still unknown who’ll find whom first: we the Miseries or they us!” Scholarchkin shivered.

The friends made themselves comfortable for the night, trying to be as quiet as possible so as not to attract attention. Every rustle in the mountains resounded hundredfold as an echo, bouncing off the stone walls of the ravine. The day was quickly fading away. Finally, the moment came when the sun and the moon met in the sky and then parted like casual acquaintances, after barely saying “hi!” It was getting cold. Masha wanted to hide with her head under a blanket, but there was no blanket.

“It’s the Miseries’ time! Don’t fidget, Pookar, let’s keep warm!” the doll Olga whispered, snuggling up to Pookar.

Muffin shivered in the chill. “Would be nice to make a fire. It was so good last night by the fireplace...” she said wistfully.

Scholarchkin leaped happily to his feet. “Eureka! Muffin, you’re a miracle! This idea has been spinning in my head for a long time, but I just couldn’t catch it! A bonfire! The Miseries are afraid of bright light, since they attack at night! So, we need lots of light! Build a fire, and as soon as possible! I’ve an unpleasant feeling that we aren’t alone here.”

“Me too! I think someone’s watching us!” the doll Olga whispered. The friends rushed to collect firewood, but discovered none. Indeed,

where could they get dry sticks and branches in mountains where neither a bush nor a tree would grow?

“No firewood, no fire! We can’t start a fire! We can’t scare away the Miseries!” Masha said helplessly.

In the silence, someone’s sinister laughter was distinctly heard.







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Chapter SixMISFIT’S ADVENTURES IN MOSCOW

Misfit, Flamy’s little sister, tried to be like a real girl in every way. She could transform so successfully that even the scratch on her knee was in the same place as Masha’s. However, outside resemblance, in which Misfit was successful in the best way possible, is one thing but internal resemblance is quite another: the character, behaviour, favourite expressions, all the things by which parents recognize their children as accurately as their faces. Misfit certainly had not considered this, but she was determined to play the role of Masha so that no one would notice her absence.

Misfit grew up on Buyan and knew about people solely through the stories of Grandpa Gorynych and Baba-Yaga, both of whom were old, living on the island without leaving for the last seven hundred years. In their belief, people were still travelling on carts and enclosing cities with very high walls and moats. Misfit wanted to see how cities had changed in recent times, especially as Flamy had returned to Buyan with loads of new impressions and endless stories. She gladly agreed to replace Masha for a while, while the girl visited Fairyland.

When Flamy and Mama Dragon flew away, Misfit waved goodbye to them and decided to take a walk around the city. That it was night outside did not stop her. It was quiet in the parents’ room. The only sound was Papa’s light snoring.

“I’ll be back before morning! No one will notice that I’m gone,” Misfit promised herself.

It was risky to slam the door: the parents could wake up, so she decided to use the window. If a chance passer-by were to look up at that moment, he would probably have seen a young dragon, glittering in the moonlight, fly out of a window from the ninth floor. Having touched the asphalt, the dragon turned into a girl in jeans and a white turtleneck. Misfit laughed, straightened her hair, and strolled along the city at night.

It was quiet and deserted. The light signals were blinking yellow. The town seemed deserted. Misfit even felt disappointment. No adventures.

Earlier she had seen from the window that somewhere far away in the city centre, a fortress with red walls was illuminated by spotlights. Misfit did not know it was the Kremlin, but the red-walled fortress reminded her of those unassailable cities that Grandpa Gorynych had described. Misfit







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wanted to examine the fortress up close and she set off in the direction of Red Square.

When she walked past a narrow dark alley where there was not a single lamp, a heavyset drunk approached her, swaying, and, not making out the girl in the darkness, asked in a hoarse voice for a light.

“With pleasure!” Misfit was glad to help him, but she turned out not to have any matches, so she exhaled a fine red-hot flame a metre long, bluish at the end, like the flame of a blowtorch. The drunk’s cigarette immediately burnt to the filter. He looked dully at Misfit, staggered, apologized, and moved away.

“Please call, if there’s anything else I can do!” Misfit said and went on.The closer to the city centre, the livelier the streets became. The hotels

and restaurants were crowded with people. Car doors slammed. Misfit stopped by some beautiful advertising signboards and watched the theatre entrances. She had never seen anything like this on the island of Buyan. Naturally, the little girl dragon was dazzled. There was something to see in the centre of Moscow.

The smells of a kitchen reached Misfit from one of the windows. They were exciting and inviting. Misfit remembered that she had not eaten anything for a long time. The girl got to the entrance and pushed open the door. Above the door flashed the sign Restaurant Lukomorie.

At the entrance, hands behind his back, stood a paunchy doorman with a red face and in a red jacket. “What do you want, girl?” he asked.

“I’m Misfit, that is, Masha!”“Go away, Masha. Time for you to go to bed!”Misfit did not like this. “You don’t look like the owner of the tavern.

Most likely, you’re just the watch,” she declared.The watch frowned and leaned over to remove the unwanted visitor, but

froze with eyes staring: the girl had disappeared.Misfit passed through into the restaurant, chose a free table, and

became visible again. A forward waiter in a Russian shirt and with a cloth in his hands instantly came running to her.

“Who are you with, girl? What shall I bring you?”“Mustard!” Misfit ordered.“Mustard?” the waiter was surprised.“You really don’t have mustard in the tavern?”“We aren’t a tavern. We’re the restaurant Lukomorie,” the waiter

corrected her.







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“And have you starved a lot of people to death with your onions,20

rascal? So will there be mustard or not?” Misfit asked.

“Okay. You want mustard, you’ll get mustard,” the waiter decided to play a joke and winked at his companion. “Victor, bring mustard, and grab the red peppercorn! Not much on the table here! But remember, girl, here you’re supposed to eat everything you order!”

“Agreed,” Misfit nodded.The waiter smiled. If the girl

wants mustard, she gets it. She only has herself to blame. “Here’s mustard! Here’s pepper! Please help yourself!” He bowed fawningly.

“That’s quite another matter. Should have been so right away!”

Misfit dispatched a full spoon of mustard into her mouth. She had it with the red peppercorn. She licked it clean, worked with the spoon, and the jar of mustard was empty in a minute. The waiter could not believe his eyes. The girl’s face expressed pleasure, as if she treated herself to strawberry ice cream.

“Is that all? Can’t I have more?” Misfit asked in disappointment.The waiter turned green from amazement. “I don’t believe it! This isn’t

real mustard! Where did they look in the kitchen? I asked for mustard and pepper, and what did they give me!”

With these words, the waiter grabbed the red peppercorn and bit off half. His face fell. Tears began to gush out of his eyes. “Ah! Help!” he howled, running around the table.

“That’s right. Capital pepper! Strange that you don’t like it,” Misfit confirmed.

She tossed the waiter a gold coin minted in times of yore and left the restaurant Lukomorie. The watch in a red jacket still sat in his chair by the

20 This is a play on the restaurant name Lukomorie, as the work luk is Russian for onion.







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door and shook his head wildly. On seeing Misfit, the porter jumped up from the chair and rushed to her. He grabbed Misfit by the collar, but suddenly heard a menacing growl and discovered that instead of a girl he had grabbed the nape of a huge tiger growling and whipping its tail. The porter screamed and let go. The tiger turned, bared its teeth, and began to prepare for a leap.

The porter no longer screamed. He trembled, backed away, and stayed as still as a timid mouse. Relenting, the tiger sniffed him, already half-dead from fear, and went onto Tverskaya Street in the direction of Red Square.

Moving away from the restaurant, Misfit became Masha again. When she reached Red Square, the big clock showed 3 0’clock.

“Still time! Can stroll a bit more,” Misfit allowed herself. She flew up to the Kremlin wall and began to jump from merlon to merlon.

A policeman on duty on the Kremlin wall ran up to her and made a remark. “Little girls aren’t supposed to be here at night for a walk!” he said.

“Are you sure that you aren’t dreaming? Pinch yourself!” Misfit suggested to him.

The policeman thought for a little and pinched his ear. Misfit immediately disappeared. We know that she simply became invisible but this was not known to the policeman. He was very surprised and demoted himself to junior lieutenant for falling asleep on duty.

Having strolled along the Kremlin wall to her heart’s content, Misfit went home. She managed just in time. Mama, coming in to wish her good morning, found the girl sleeping soundly in bed.

“Sleeping like a log! I even feel sorry to wake her up!” she said to Papa.“So don’t. Let her sleep. Leave breakfast on the table. She gets up, she

eats...” Papa replied.Mama, in a preoccupied way, dropped a piece of sugar into her tea and

watched it dissolve.“What’s with you?” Papa asked.“Nothing good! Yesterday they phoned from Tula. My sister has sent

Peter to us. I hope he won’t fight with Masha like last time. Peter arrives today at eleven in the morning. Won’t you meet him at the station?”







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Chapter SevenTHE FORTRESS OF THE MISERIES

The sinister laughter resounded in the darkness. Swift shadows swept over the heads of Masha and Flamy, and they felt a cutting moist wind.

“Mama, I’m afraid!” The doll Olga shrank and closed her eyes.The number of shadows flashing by increased. It seemed the

surrounding sky was filled with them. Something sharp dug into Masha’s hand. The girl screamed and shook off a nasty scratchy lump.

A bright beam unexpectedly cut through the darkness. Everyone involuntarily reached for the light. It was Pookar, pulling out his flashlight and turning it on. “I couldn’t leave it at home. Someone would definitely make off with it,” he said.

In the beam of the flashlight, a toothy muzzle with semicircular ears and squinting black eyes appeared for a moment.

“Bats!” Flamy surmised.Caught in the strip of light, the bat got

confused and blindly hit the cliff. The sinister laughter broke off. Several bats swiftly swooped down on Pookar, trying to snatch the flashlight out of his hand, but Flamy drove them off with a tongue of flame. One blinded bat cut into the rocks and fell. The rest apprehensively flew away and hid somewhere on the edge of light and darkness.

The doll Olga sighed with relief.“Whew! I thought we were finished! These

are probably the Miseries.”“No. The bats help them, but they aren’t

the Miseries!” Flamy said confidently.Muffin sneaked up quietly. The cat’s eyes glowed with green fire and

she was tense, as on a hunt. “Where’s Scholarchkin? He was here a minute ago! Scholarchkin, hello!” The gnome had disappeared. Only his red cap was rolling on the ground.

“Scholarchkin! Where are you? The bats! They’ve carried him away! What horror!”







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Flamy held back Pookar who, swinging the flashlight, was driving away the bats. “Useless to search now. The gnome’s most likely already in the Miseries’ fortress.”

All night Pookar drew circles with the flashlight, not allowing the bats to get closer. Only the light and the well-aimed streams of fire issued by Flamy prevented the bats, howling with anger, from pouncing on the friends.

An icy wind was blowing. Something was roaring in the belly of the cliff. It was cold and terrifying. Near morning, the batteries of Pookar’s flashlight started to run down. The ray became dull and it was clear that it was about to go out. The bats also sensed this. The flashlight weakened before their eyes. Its thin ray of light faded. Everybody huddled together ready to defend themselves, but here the rising sun filtered through the rocks.

Masha laughed. “Dawn! Well, vermin, got it?”The bats wailed, moaned, and disappeared together with the outgoing

night. Dawn came quickly. Pookar turned off the flashlight, although this was not necessary: it had gone out.

“Cock-a-doodle-doo! Good morning!” Flamy shouted.“What did you cackle, Flamy? Decided to act like a laying chicken?”

Pookar asked.The cat Muffin looked at her own reflection in the puddle. “My eyes

haven’t grown dim? Fur hasn’t fallen out? How do I look?”“Quite recognizable. I once saw a cat that had fallen into cement. You’re

a beauty in comparison,” Pookar comforted her.“Pookar, you swine!” Muffin was offended.“Looking for relatives? Nice to meet you!” Pookar replied.“Look what I found! Come here quick!” the doll Olga exclaimed.A spring was gushing out from the cliff in a fine jet. Where its sprays fell

on the ground, grass and flowers as lovely as those in Enchanted Valley were growing. The doll Olga ran up to the spring and washed.

“Now you’ll turn into a crocodile! We do know these little springs!” Pookar remarked gloatingly. After the incident with Baba-Yaga’s bewitched apple transforming him into a kid, Pookar treated everything magical with suspicion.

However, nothing bad happened to Olga. On the contrary, she felt fresh and well rested, as if there had been no sleepless night with bats and mysterious rustles. Her cheeks were flushed. Her hair, which Masha in childhood had rashly torn out with a comb, became thick. Olga had turned







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into such a beauty that one could not tear one’s eyes away. The water from this spring was magical.

“Oh, Olga, how you’ve changed!” the cat Muffin said, carried away.Olga looked at herself in the mirror and gasped. It could only be a

miracle! She was pretty before, but now a real beauty, one that no word could describe, looked out of the mirror at her.

Even Pookar was forced to admit this. “Not bad at all! I really didn’t expect it!” he grumbled.













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“It’s the spring of living water! Grandpa told me about it.” Flamy yelled. He took a run and flew into the stream. His scales immediately started to shine and sparkle so that they blinded the eyes. “Well, what’s with you? Come on!” He splashed with his tail and showered his friends with water from the spring.

After a minute, everybody was already splashing in the stream of living water, jostling each other, splashing each other, frolicking. Only the cat Muffin was meowing on the shore, not daring to enter the water. Muffin, of course, wanted very much to be beautiful but she could not stand swimming. In the end though, even Muffin could not restrain herself. She closed her eyes, covered her nose with a paw, and jumped into the water. Having plunged in, Muffin quickly jumped out and looked at herself in the mirror. In the mirror was reflected a wet cat with thin legs and a tail logged with water. It was difficult to determine for sure whether she had grown prettier.

However, Muffin obviously noticed something. “Meow! Not enough!” She jumped and rushed into the spring again.

Pookar, Olga, Flamy, and Masha had already swum and splashed enough and got out to the shore to dry, but Muffin still did not climb out of the water and was trembling very slightly.

“Get out, you’ll catch cold!” Masha yelled to her.“W-won’t c-catch c-cold!” Muffin uttered through wooden lips.“Poor wet cat! You have no life but continuous torment. Remember how

you dyed yourself blonde with peroxide?” Pookar sympathized.“B-beauty d-demands sa-sacrifice,” Muffin meowed, full of suffering.“Only you’re not human!” Pookar was more precise. This, however, was

also not particularly relevant to the cat.Flamy looked at the sun. “Here’s what: if we want to get to the Miseries’

castle before sunset, then we have to leave,” he said uneasily.The friends started to get ready. They extracted the scratching Muffin

from the stream, wiped her dry with the magic tablecloth, drank hot tea, and continued on their way.

They walked along a narrow path meandering between the rocks. Thistles and several yellowish grasses forced their way through the cracks in the stones. The sun baked with all its might and if not for bathing in the spring of living water, the travellers could easily have gotten sunstroke.

“I wonder, where do the bats hide during the day?” asked Pookar.“Somewhere in a dark, humid place. In a cave, for example,” Flamy said.







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“So uninteresting. You shouldn’t have prompted. I would’ve guessed by myself,” Pookar said, put out.

The path once again turned abruptly and... the travellers came to a clearing, which was surrounded by sharp mountain projections. In the centre of the clearing, gloomy and overgrown with moss, a fortress towered menacingly, the same one Baba-Yaga’s magic saucer had shown.

“Here it is, the Miseries’ fortress! No one has yet returned from here,” Flamy said quietly.

Pookar was dying to fight. “What are we waiting for? Forward! We’ll issue a challenge to the Miseries! I drove away the bats, I’ll chase away the Miseries too! Where’s our wet cat-liberator? Somehow I don’t see excitement in her eyes!”

Pookar wanted to step off the path into the clearing, but Flamy held his jacket sleeve. “Wait! There are traps everywhere, and under every stone is a wolf pit with stakes.”

“What are you talking about? Just like my little anti-guest traps!” Pookar was moved.

Masha looked around the clearing. “The Miseries pass through somehow,” she said.

“I have an idea,” the doll Olga suggested. “Let Flamy look at the glade from above. The grass should be trampled down in the place often walked on!”

Flamy worked his wings and rose above the crowd. “I found the path. Follow me, but don’t step aside a single step,” he shouted.

“Well done, Flamy! You’re wonderful! Any beauty, even the first in the world, will be happy to kiss you,” the cat Muffin said, running to Flamy.

Pookar wedged himself between the cat and the young dragon. “He’d rather kiss a rhino. Right, Flamy, you’d rather a rhino than Muffin?” he asked.

“All the same to me,” Flamy replied in embarrassment.Stretched out in a chain, the friends carefully moved after Flamy along

the barely noticeable path. The ground crumbled in some places. The sharp stakes of the wolf pits were visible.

Masha carelessly looked into the dark inside of one such hole, and suddenly her leg dropped onto the wet grass. “Oh, hold me!” she screamed.







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Chapter EightTHE TAMING OF A HURTFUL BOY

Misfit threw back the blanket such that it was swinging on the chandelier and then jumped out of bed. It was good that Mama coming to her in the morning did not notice the main thing: Misfit was lying under the blanket in jeans and sneakers.

“Well, time to get up! The main thing is not to forget that I’m a little girl!” Misfit said to herself and made her way to the kitchen.

“Good morning, Masha! Slept well?” Mama and Papa said.“I myself know. What’s there to brag about?” Misfit grumbled.Mama and Papa looked at her with surprise and laughed. “Well, it’s

good that you aren’t depressed already! We want to make you happy: your cousin Peter is coming today.”

“I’m glad. When does he leave? Soon?” Misfit had heard from Flamy about the nasty boy Peter, who plagued Masha and hurt the cat.

“Don’t fight with Peter! Remember, he’s your guest,” Mama said.“I won’t. But will Peter remember that he’s my guest?” Misfit muttered.Fortunately, the parents were in a hurry and did not listen to the

daughter too closely. Otherwise, they would have noticed significant changes in the nature of their daughter.

Papa went to the station and brought Peter back. Peter had travelled alone on the train. His parents had sent him alone on condition that Peter would be met in Moscow. Peter was ten years old. He was a skinny narrow-shouldered boy, irritable and cocky. Peter looked at Misfit, or as he thought, Masha, as at blank space. Of course! A whole two years younger and, moreover, a girl!

“Hello, small fry! Where’s my room?” Peter threw at her, having barely crossed the threshold.

Misfit silently looked at him for a minute. Extreme curiosity was written on her face. “So you’re Peter? Well, well! Tell me, Peter, do you ever wash your head? You don’t have to answer. I can see not.”

Peter stared. He was not accustomed to being talked to this way. “Oh, you small fry with a braid! Be thankful that I’m good today!”







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Misfit was very surprised. “Really! So that means you’re still evil? Who would believe it! You have such an innocent baby look!”

Peter stared wide-eyed. What, some eight-year-old midget dares call him, ten-year-old Peter, a baby! Now he will teach her how to behave!

“Well? Glad to see each other? The two of you will have fun!” Papa looked in the room.

Peter’s face instantly became ingratiating in his presence. He was always a sly one. Parents only had to turn away and Peter would begin to pinch, twist an arm, or push. Later he would stand with such an innocent look that it was impossible to imagine that he was capable of such a thing.

Now Peter waited until the adults left for work and decided to teach Masha a lesson. Peter thought of locking her in the storeroom. “Let her sit there till the evening! She’ll learn to behave!”

In order to lure Misfit into the storeroom, Peter began the ruse. “Masha! I’m sorry that I teased you. Let’s make up!”

“Let’s! Though, in general, we didn’t quarrel,” Misfit agreed easily. She was a forgiving young dragon and would easily forgive offences. “Maybe Peter isn’t so bad? He could’ve reformed completely since last time,” she decided.

“Won’t you show me the apartment? Where’s your storeroom?” Peter continued to carry out his crafty plan. Misfit was always glad to help. She led Peter to the storeroom.

“What’s inside? Only you go in first. Otherwise, I might stumble over something,” Peter let Misfit pass through ahead. “Please!”

Misfit had barely taken a step when Peter leaned on the door and locked her in the storeroom. “Ha-ha! Now you stick around there till evening! Did you really think I’m actually going to be friends with you, bug?” he laughed nastily.

No sound was heard from the storeroom. Peter did not like this.“Do you hear, Masha? I won’t let you out! And I’ll make a mess in your

room, break everything and say it was you!” Peter raised his voice.Again, no one answered. It was as if he was talking to himself and

threatening himself. Peter started to be annoyed, and he looked into the storeroom to see what this bug was busy with and why she kept quiet. What he saw startled him. The storeroom was empty.

“Where did she go? There’s nowhere to hide!” Peter was amazed.He went into the storeroom and went through all the corners, but found

nothing even remotely resembling a little girl. Peter was even more







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surprised when the storeroom door suddenly slammed in his face. He pushed it once and again; it did not move – locked. Peter realized that he had been fooled. “But how did Masha manage this? Where was she hiding?”

Of course, you already guessed that Misfit had become invisible and quietly snuck past Peter while he was looking for her.

“Let me out right now! I’ll beat you up!” Peter demanded and pounded with his fist on the door.

“Then what’s the sense of me letting you out if you’ll beat me up?” Misfit asked coolly.

“Open now! Or you’ll regret it!”“I’m already regretting it!”“Open!”“No way!”“Open, I say!!!”“Promise you won’t start to play dirty tricks!”“I’ll pull off your braids!” Peter shouted.“You have time till evening to change your mind,” Misfit said quietly,

turning to leave.Then Peter came to his senses and cheated. “I promise, I promise! I

won’t play tricks!” he hastily shouted.When Misfit opened the door, Pete jumped out of the storeroom, red and

angry. He grabbed the doll Olga’s little house from the windowsill and began to pull off its chimney. Peter wanted to bring Masha to tears, and nothing hurt the little girl as much as attempts to damage her toys. Usually Masha would try to stop Peter and he would run around the room and tease her.

Now, however, from Peter’s point of view, Masha behaved oddly. She did not begin to pull the dollhouse out of Peter’s hands or whimper. Misfit walked up to Peter without saying a word, picked him up by the waist, and put him on the wardrobe. Everything was done cleanly and quickly. Peter did not even have time to wonder. He decided that he had turned up on the wardrobe by chance, maybe even climbed up himself without noticing. He jumped down from the wardrobe and rushed at Misfit. Peter had never fought with his peer group and especially not with those older, afraid of having to surrender, but always badly treated the younger ones with enormous pleasure.







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“Now you’ll get it from me!” Peter ran to Misfit and wanted to grab her, but suddenly... Peter could not believe his eyes. A dragon with silvery scales showed up in Misfit’s place.

Peter froze with his mouth open and almost fainted. “Mama! Help!” he yelled and rushed away, but tripped over the threshold and fell flat.

Peter watched with fear as the dragon approached him and released a jet of flame. “M-Masha, i-it’s you?” Peter barely uttered.

“The same! Promise me that you’ll never hurt girls! Remember that any can turn into a dragon like me!”

“I d-don’t believe it!” Peter persisted.“Then I’ll bite off your head!” The dragon opened its mouth with

triangular teeth. Its fangs, sharp as knives, clipped near Peter’s ear.“Now I believe, I believe! Now I believe! I’ll never hurt girls!” Peter

shouted.“Swear?”“I swear!”“Well, look at me!!!”Peter, in reality, hurt not one girl anymore. He really wanted to, but he

remembered a fire-breathing dragon, and instead of hitting a girl, he muttered ingratiatingly, “Let me carry your books!”







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Chapter NineTHE LABYRINTH

Masha slipped on the wet grass and almost fell into the dark mouth of a wolf pit with sharp sticks at the bottom. Fortunately, Flamy managed to grab her dress with his teeth.

“Flamy, you saved me!” Masha hugged Flamy’s neck.

Flamy beamed with pride. “It’s nothing! I’m ready to save you every day if nothing else!”

Masha thought for a bit. “No, better not every day,” she said.

The travellers approached the fortress gates, but here a ditch blocked their way. A frog croaked in the middle of the ditch.

“Princess, princess! Could you spare a moment? Could you suggest how to cross over to the other side?” Muffin called.

The frog looked at Muffin with bulging eyes and dived into the mud. The cat realized that she had made a mistake.

“Phew! I thought all frogs are enchanted princesses,” Muffin drawled in disappointment.

The friends did not know how to cross the swamp to the fortress and lower the drawbridge on rusty chains. A dead tree was lying across the ditch. It demanded significant courage to dare step on it to go over the swamp.

Muffin touched the trunk with a paw, checking how reliable it was. Then she carefully crossed the ditch, jumped onto the old cogwheel of the drawbridge, and hung onto it with all her weight. The cat had enough bravery but clearly lacked the strength to move the wheel. Flamy came to Muffin’s aid. He flew across the ditch and stood beside Muffin.

“It wasn’t possible to come to the conclusion earlier?” the cat asked sarcastically.

“I was taught ladies first,” Flamy replied.







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“If I had fallen into the swamp?”“Don’t worry, I’m sure I would’ve pulled you out,” he calmed her.Muffin and Flamy leaned their weight on the cogwheel of the

drawbridge. The rusty chain creaked; the bridge began to lower.The friends came to the fortress gates. Pookar settled in Masha’s arms

and looked round the area from there. The doll Olga sat majestically on Flamy’s back and turned her head

curiously. “Here it is, the Miseries’ fortress!”“You’ve repeated this a hundred times. You must think we believe that

we’ve come to a music school,” said Pookar.The joke fell flat. No one laughed, and to spite everyone, Pookar himself

began to laugh and laughed for about a minute with an extremely angry look.

After making up her mind, Masha stepped to the other side of the gates. The inner courtyard of the fortress looked uninhabited. It smelt of dampness and something musty, as in old cellars. It looked as if the city was abandoned in a big hurry. Half-decayed frames of carts, horse bones, and rusty armours were scattered about in disorder in the courtyard. The friends looked with trepidation at the remains of former greatness.

“And h-here’s f-fun!” Pookar clung tighter to Masha.A grinding noise was suddenly heard. The gates closed; the way back

was cut off.“I’m scared!” the doll Olga said, starting to tremble.Flamy looked around the moss-covered walls. “Everyone’s scared. We

must find the entrance to the underground labyrinths. The Miseries have probably hidden Scholarchkin, the cat Meown, and Alenushka there.”

“Which Alenushka?” asked Muffin. “Alenushka the Beautiful, Ivanushka’s sister, the niece of Vasilisa the

Beautiful!21 Have you forgotten?”“Beautiful!” Muffin repeated in envy. “Is she really such that she’s called

Beautiful? What an immodest name she has! I, for example, wouldn’t want to be called Muffin the Beautiful! And don’t try to persuade me! No, no, and again no!” Muffin looked around, checking whether somebody intended on persuading her.

21 This Russian folktale is about the beautiful Vasilisa being sent by her stepmother to fetch fire from Baba-Yaga. With the help of a doll left by her deceased mother, Vasilisa is able to accomplish all tasks and brings back fire, which kills the jealous stepmother and stepsisters.







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“Wait, Flamy, why do you think the monsters live in a maze and not in the castle?” Masha wondered.

“The Miseries can’t stand daylight! Here, under the ground, is a whole stone city. Grandpa told me. Secret roads run through not only Lifeless Mountains but also almost the entire island of Buyan. How else would the Miseries manage to get to Fairyland unnoticed at night?” explained Flamy.

The travellers moved along the fortress walls. They forced their way through prickly shrubs, which overran the abandoned city. Suddenly, Masha saw an oak door in the wall. It led to a barely noticeable trail. Masha did not have time to touch the door when it swung open, as if inviting them to enter.

“Don’t! We won’t take two steps and the door – bam! – and we’d be trapped!” Pookar declared.

However, curiosity turned out to be stronger. The friends yielded to the temptation to find out what was hiding in the darkness. There were so many steps that the staircase seemed endless. Light barely filtered through the tiny windows. Water dripped from the stone arches.

“How tired I am of these steps! All the polish has come off my claws!” the cat Muffin complained.

However, here the friends found themselves at the beginning of a dark corridor, which branched out repeatedly. A strange greenish light flooded the damp walls. Examining closely, Masha saw a great number of tiny fireflies swarming in the cracks between the stones.

The travellers took a dozen steps and stopped in indecision, not knowing how to go further. The corridors intersected, became entangled, and many of them clearly ended in blind alleys.

“You won’t manage to get out of here for a thousand years! Here’s horror!” Muffin meowed plaintively.

Masha stroked the cat soothingly. “I once read a book about labyrinths. There the author explains what to do if you get into this situation.”

“And?” Muffin asked in hope.“The author writes something like: Dear reader! It is impossible to get

out of a labyrinth, therefore it is better not to get in there,” Masha recalled.Pookar clapped his hands. “Nonsense! Trust me! One, two, three, four,

five, into the darkness we dive! The main law of maze explorers: if you want to get to where you need to be, go to a totally different place.”







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“Next you’ll write the announcement: Deadly walks through a maze. Guide – Pookar Susanin.22 I’m not going with you, Pookar! It’s better if I sit here and prepare lunch for the time being,” the doll Olga said and spread out the magic tablecloth.

“Well, don’t! Better for us! A bigger share of the feats will come to us!”Pookar waved his hand and decidedly marched into the first corridor.

Muffin, Flamy, and Masha moved behind Pookar, vaguely hoping that he, in fact, understood something about labyrinths. Olga settled down on a tiny stool, which she carried everywhere with her, and started to wait. After about an hour she heard approaching footsteps. Pookar came out from a far corridor and stomped ahead, not noticing Olga. Masha, Muffin, and Flamy followed Pookar trustingly.

“Hey! Where’s this you set out to?” Olga yelled.Masha turned around and saw the doll Olga, who, propping up her head

with her hands, was sitting calmly on a stool and eating pie. “How did you get here? You didn’t come with us?” Masha was surprised.

“I went nowhere. I waited for you here. I know your guide too well to assume that he’ll lead you anywhere,” Olga said, poking a finger in Pookar’s direction.

“A little mistake slipped into my calculations!” Pookar protested. “We should’ve turned into the seventh tunnel after the ninth bend and the ninth tunnel after the fourteenth bend. Hurrah! Forward! Assault of the maze!”

He ran along the corridor, but, on turning around, saw that he was alone. Pookar got upset and stomped his feet, but still returned to his friends. “Hey, move over!” He pushed Olga and sat down on the edge of her stool.

Flamy looked dejectedly around the labyrinth corridors and blew a nimble firefly far away from his paw, “What shall we do? We have to find the Miseries before night time.”

“Why?” Masha was surprised. “Because they will find us at night,” explained Flamy.Masha became terrified. “Flamy, you really know how to reassure!” she

said.Muffin meowed with distaste and scratched her stomach with a paw.“Why are you scratching? Fleas?” Pookar perked up.

22 Ivan Susanin was a Russian folk hero and early 17th century martyr. Legend has it that around 1613, Susanin, a logger, led to their death a Polish detachment sent to find and kill the newly elected tsar, Mikhail Romanov.







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“What fleas? Fireflies!” Muffin was offended.“Ah...” Pookar was disappointed. “Doesn’t matter! First they make

themselves at home, then they invite the fleas.”Pookar was chilly. He hid his hands in his pockets and unexpectedly

found a small cardboard box. “Matches! Who would have thought! And I thought I had lost them! Haven’t wandered into this pocket for a long time!”

Pookar struck a match, and a small fire blazed up in the dungeon of the Miseries’ castle. Masha, Flamy, and the doll Olga stared transfixed at the tiny living flame. They noticed that the light was bending all the time in the direction of one of the corridors, the most nondescript in appearance. They would have turned there at the last turn.

Flamy flapped his wings in haste. “I see! A draft! It’ll show us the way out of the maze. You need to go in the direction the flame bends!” he yelled.

Pookar threw away the burnt-down match. “Again a good idea did not come to me! Somehow my head isn’t working well today!” he complained.

“Only today? Ha-ha! The cotton wool probably got damp!” Olga suggested.







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Chapter TenMISFIT AT AVDOKHINA’S

After he was subdued, Peter changed greatly. This was not the former nasty and contentious boy, but a well-behaved boy.

At first, Peter tried to complain to Masha’s parents. He said that she had put him on the wardrobe and later she had turned into a fire-breathing dragon. Papa and Mama listened sympathetically to him.

“I never thought that Peter’s such a... uh... impressionable boy. Among the relatives from your side there are at times quite strange ones,” Papa said, when he and Mama were alone.

Mama nodded. “It’s his age. Peter should spend more time outdoors. Then he’ll stop seeing dragons.”

After staying a few days in Moscow, Peter returned to Tula. This time, he went home with great pleasure.

Misfit walked him to the door. “All the best, Peter! Come again!” she said.

“Don’t hold your breath!” Peter said sullenly. He looked peevishly at Misfit and followed Papa into the elevator.

After his departure, Misfit was able to continue her nightly strolls around Moscow and successfully acted out the role of Masha during the day. However, one evening the parents came home from work disturbed.

“You know, honey, Papa and I have to go to a conference in St. Petersburg. We’ll return in a couple of days and bring gifts,” Mama said.

“Whom will I stay with? Grandma’s in the Crimea, in a resort!” Misfit had quite gotten into the role of a little girl and knew what she should ask in such cases.

Mama hugged and kissed her. “We’ve asked Avdokhina to look after you. Antonina Petrovna is a wonderful woman. She didn’t refuse.”

“She won’t torment me?” Misfit asked. She remembered what Flamy had told her about Avdokhina.

“I don’t think she will,” Papa calmed Misfit. However, there was no absolute confidence in his voice.

Here the doorbell rang. It was Avdokhina. So much eagerness was written on her face that Misfit was even frightened. In Avdokhina’s hands







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was a bag with kefir,23 cheese, cottage cheese, mayonnaise, and eggs, which would have been enough to feed a dozen hungry bodybuilders.

“A child should be well-fed! Somehow, yours is painfully skinny! Doesn’t matter, we’ll fix that!” Avdokhina pinched Misfit’s cheek with dry wiry fingers. Misfit stuck her tongue out at Avdokhina.

“What’s this?” Avdokhina got upset.Mama pleadingly took her daughter’s hand. “Please forgive her! Masha

isn’t used to you yet, Antonina Petrovna! She’s a very obedient little girl and won’t cause you any trouble. We’ll try to return as soon as possible. Thank you so much for agreeing to stay with the child.”

Misfit frowned and held Mama’s hand. “Don’t call me a child! I won’t call you a grown-up auntie!” she said.

Mama and Papa got ready in record time. They feared that having seen what an uncivil daughter they had, Avdokhina would change her mind about staying with her.

“Promise me you’ll be obedient!” Papa asked when he and Mama were already in the doorway.

“I’ll be obedient to the extreme!” Misfit promised with significance. Must admit, she kept her promise.

The parents had barely slammed the door shut when zealous Avdokhina proceeded to fulfil the voluntarily accepted obligations of fostering the child. Avdokhina was never married and had no children, but she had her own views on what a child could and could not do. Moreover, Avdokhina was indeed bursting with responsibility.

She sat Misfit on a chair, gave her a package of kefir in each hand, and very definitely ordered, “Don’t go to the window, you’ll tumble out! Don’t play with matches, you’ll burn! Don’t drink out of unknown vials, you’ll poison yourself! Don’t dive in the bathtub, you’ll drown!”

“Really, nothing is possible! What can I do?” asked Misfit.“You can sit on the chair and drink kefir!” said Avdokhina.“And I won’t choke?” Misfit asked in alarm.“If you choke, we’ll resuscitate you!”Having thus calmed Misfit, Avdokhina sighed and, with a sense of

fulfilling her duty, set off to the kitchen to slam the fridge door.

23 Kefir is a drink made of fermented milk. It originated in the Caucasus and is similar to yogurt.







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“Ay-ay-ay!” her indignant voice was heard. “Poor you! No dairy products! And why so much mustard? Even if you shoot me, I’ll still throw out this trash!”

Misfit sighed. She thought that Avdokhina would rather shoot everyone. After the kitchen inspection, Avdokhina went around the rooms and found them to be untidy.

“How can a child be raised in such conditions! Call themselves parents! And what if this old TV falls from the wardrobe onto the child’s head?”

“It’s a monitor. Don’t worry, it almost didn’t even crash!” Misfit dismissed it.

Avdokhina threw up her hands. “No, no, and no! We can’t stay in this apartment! You’ll live in my place. Spend at least three days in normal conditions! You have a completely anti-pedagogical environment.”

“A what environment?” Misfit, who loved to learn new words, asked her to repeat.

“A real mess!”The further this went, the more incomprehensible it became. Misfit did

not begin to ask again, afraid to be even more confused.“It seems you have a cat. What is it? Muffin? Puffin? Where is it? We

have to bring it too.” Avdokhina looked under the bed.Misfit was taken aback. She had managed with great difficulty to hide

Muffin’s absence from Masha’s parents, and that was thanks to the remarkable ability of dragons to transform. She did not assume that Avdokhina would remember the cat.

“Muffy, Puffy! Kitty-kitty-kitty!” Avdokhina droned on, looking under the bed. “Kitty-kitty! Here, Lucy!”

“She’s in the next room. I’ll find her now.” Misfit jumped into the hallway, and a cat came into the room a second later. “Meow! Meow!”

“Here you are! Come here, pet!” Avdokhina bent down, grabbed the cat, and stuffed it under her arm. “I caught the animal! Now the child has left. Where are you, child?” she called.

The cat started to meow anxiously and tried to break free. Indeed, Misfit could not







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be both Muffin and the girl simultaneously. Not letting go of the cat, Avdokhina went to the rooms in search of Masha.

“Where did this girl disappear to? Took it into her head to play hide and seek? Children were very different in our time. Obedient, respectful, responsible!” she grumbled.

Avdokhina recalled her childhood with pleasure. How she and six of her sisters sat quietly on their stools while Mama read a cookbook aloud. What a time it was! Avdokhina blew her nose nostalgically.

“Where are you, Masha? You didn’t fall out the window, naughty girl?” Avdokhina surmised and ran fearfully to the window.

Misfit realized that she needed to do something urgently. While Avdokhina was holding the cat, she would not find any Masha.

“Meow!!! Meow!!!” The cat howled, scratched the neighbour, and broke free.

“An outrage! Unruly cats! Naughty girls!” Avdokhina threw up her hands. She was about to rush after the cat, but here the door opened and Misfit entered.

“You called?”“Where have you been? I’ve been searching all over for you!” Avdokhina

pounced on the girl.“In the kitchen.”“That’s not true, I looked in the kitchen. Don’t you dare lie to me!”Misfit giggled. “Okay, I was in the bathroom. I couldn’t very well shout

from there. That would be unseemly.”Avdokhina calmed down. “But where’s the cat? Hiding?” she asked.“Won’t catch her now. Maybe we should leave her here?” Misfit

suggested, guiltily making out the scratches on Avdokhina’s arm.“Okay, pour her some milk. All the same I wouldn’t be able to keep track

of the two of you,” the neighbour said, giving in.She took Masha firmly by the arm and pulled her after herself. In

Avdokhina’s one-room apartment, everything shone and glistened. Nothing hung over the backs of chairs. There was no food on the kitchen table; the sink sparkled. Everything bore the mark of scantiness of a lifetime. Each thing was in its place and seemed to scream, “Don’t touch me! Don’t smudge me!”

Misfit was stunned, afraid to take even a step and disrupt the established petrified order. Then she recovered herself nevertheless and







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tried to sit down on the sofa, which was covered with a red slipcover with goldfish.

“Don’t take it into your head! Remember!” Avdokhina was startled. “you really can’t sit on a chair? Come, I’d better feed you!”

“I already drank kefir!”“That doesn’t count!”In the kitchen, Avdokhina put a bib on Misfit and placed in front of her a

deep bowl of cream soup. After doing this, Avdokhina sat down across from her, propped her head with her hands, and started to look continuously at the girl. She obviously intended to wait until Misfit finished eating. “So you know! You don’t finish, you don’t get up from the table,” she warned.

“But why?”“Because! You need to grow!”“What, from cream soup?” Misfit was surprised. “I never would have

thought. It’s so disgusting!”“Eat and don’t argue!” Avdokhina said sternly. “Remember, when I eat,

I’m deaf and dumb! You’ll have to eat a lot so you’ll grow up! Otherwise, you’ll look disgusting: lean and green.”

“Fine!” Misfit said obediently.She sent a spoonful of soup into her mouth, then another, and...

suddenly she began to grow. At first, she grew five centimetres, then ten, and finally, half a metre. However, it was still not the limit. Misfit grew in front of her eyes and soon filled the kitchen. Avdokhina looked dazedly at the giant, whose head was touching the ceiling and who was intently eating soup with gusto.

“You were right! It seems I’ve grown a little. Can I have seconds? Then I can grow to the size of the building!” Misfit said naively.

Horror was reflected in Avdokhina’s eyes and she began to slide slowly under the table. “It’s awful. I knew that dairy products are good for children but not to that extent. All this acceleration! Or am I dreaming all this?” she muttered.

Wanting to make sure she was awake, Avdokhina shook her head and dipped her finger into the boiling kettle. “Ou-ch!” she yelled and ran into the bathroom to hold the finger under cold water.

When she returned, the giant had disappeared. At the table sat a slender girl with a doleful look stirring a bowl of soup with a spoon.

“It seems you dozed off, unfortunate Antonina Petrovna! Bringing up children doesn’t come easy to you,” Misfit said sympathetically.







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Chapter ElevenEXIT FROM THE LABYRINTH

Following the trembling light of a match, Masha, Flamy, Pookar, and Olga picked the labyrinth corridors. Wavering shadows danced along the wet walls. Swarming fireflies flickered dimly in the cracks. The floor, laid out in stone slabs, answered resonantly to every step, even the most careful. The travellers had the sensation that they were walking on ice and that under them metres and metres of an abyss were dragging on.

Not many matches remained in Pookar’s box, and the friends made a small torch out of a pencil, which Pookar had found in his pocket.

“Stop! Here’s a hole!” Muffin exclaimed suddenly. Pookar illuminated a large hole in the stone floor. If not for the warning

of Muffin, who could see in the dark, the friends would have fallen down one by one into this rift, not even having time to scream.

“Oho-ho! I wonder, is the pit deep? Would we have fallen far?” Flamy asked.

“Now we’ll find out!” The doll Olga groped for a little stone and dropped it into the rift. They waited in vain for at least some sound.

“We still must be on the other side!” Flamy said after a pause.Pookar lit another torch in order to see the obstacle better. The rift in

the floor was not too wide: a metre, no more. Masha had jumped even further in school for physical education classes. However, when a bottomless chasm stretched under you, it was difficult to call the conditions normal. Besides, she had to jump not in a well-lit hall but the ominous darkness of a labyrinth.

“Everyone can be a hero. Some in life and some posthumously. I’d never be a hero posthumously! Should be an interesting sensation,” Pookar encouraged everyone.

“I’m certain that I’ll fly over to the other side with Olga and Pookar. But I won’t be able to lift you, Masha. You’re too heavy,” Flamy said guiltily.

“I’ll jump over by myself! Anyway, I’ll try,” Masha declared, not very confidently.

“Try, try! Who knows, maybe it’ll work. If not on the first attempt, then the third,” Pookar reassured her.

“Don’t frighten me, Pookar! I’m already terrified!” Masha begged.“I’ll jump!” The cat Muffin, after meowing, flew over to the other side of

the rift.







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“All right! I’m already here!” Her voice was heard from the darkness.Flamy looked at Masha, encouragingly nudged her neck with a cold

nose, and placed the doll Olga and Pookar on his back. Masha saw how the blinking dot of light separated from the edge, hung in the air for a second, drew an arc, and went out already on the other edge of the rift.

“I’ll give you some light! Jump to the light!” Pookar shouted, setting fire to a torch.

Masha took a running approach and, trying not to think about anything terrible, strongly pushed off from the floor. The girl knocked Pookar over and scraped her knee landing on the other side of the rift. Now the chasm no longer seemed terrible to her.

After resting, they continued to wander along the maze. The torch burned out. They lit the remaining matches only at the forks of the corridors to determine the correct path. They had to walk in the dark the rest of the time, feeling the damp walls with their hands.

However, one way was still found on how not to get lost in the maze. The doll Olga discovered it. “If Pookar says to the right, we have to go left. If he says straight, we need to turn. If he says forward, we must go backward. He has never guessed right,” she said.

“You understand nothing, stupid and ungrateful envier!” he said.At the flash of a match, a yellow skull and bones were illuminated in a

wall opening. The skeleton was attached to the ceiling with an iron chain.“Oh, Mama!” Muffin squealed. Like all cats, she poorly remembered her

mama and recalled her only in the most extreme cases.Masha screwed up her eyes. Pookar dropped the match and it went out.

Everything was plunged into darkness.“What was it? Let’s look again!” Flamy asked in fear.“Better not,” Olga begged.“And I think so too, don’t!” Pookar agreed with her, almost for the first

time.After a few more minutes of wandering in the darkness, light shone in

front.“We got out!” Olga rejoiced.“I wouldn’t rejoice yet. Remember, we’re in the Miseries’ fortress!”

Flamy warned her.However, the friends were already running to the light. They found

themselves in a cavern, glittering with thousands of emeralds and diamonds. There were so many of them that the walls could not be seen. In







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the center of the cave, a huge sapphire, on which burned one single wax candle, sparkled with well-formed facets. It was its magnified light flooding the cave.

Pookar’s eyes flared up at the sight of so many valuables and he rushed in to fill his pockets with stones.

“Which of them is more expensive? What will they give more for?” he asked anxiously.

“Why do you need so much? What are you going to buy?” Masha wondered.

“An ocean of jam and a mountain of cookies! And I’ll very well give you, Masha, a toy electronic watch, if you ask me nicely,” Pookar declared.

“What will you give me?” the doll Olga was curious.Pookar stared at her with suspicion. “YOU?! Nada! Don’t desire what’s

not yours! You’re not going to bankrupt me!”Masha and Flamy could not restrain from laughing. Indeed, a greedy

Pookar was very entertaining.Unexpectedly the friends heard a loud “Oh!” and turned around in

fright. At the corner of the cache, a door, to which they did not pay any attention earlier, opened. A beautiful girl with a blond braid to her waist came out of it.

“What are you doing here? Leave now! The Miseries are about to come!” she cried in alarm.

Flamy, on recognizing her, ran to the girl. “Alenushka! Is that you? We were looking for you!” His scales sparkled like precious stones.

Alenushka hugged him. “I missed you, Flamy! But how did you get here? Or did the Miseries carry you away too?”

“No! We came here to fight them!”Alenushka shook her head sadly. “You

can’t manage alone. Don’t even think about it! The Miseries are very strong and have magical goblets. Rather, tell me, how’s my brother Ivanushka?”







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Flamy faltered. Then Alenushka looked at the doll Olga, who had a very responsible look.

“Poorly,” Olga said honestly. “There’s such a mess in the cabin that it’s just awful! A crow has settled in the birdhouse, but Ivanushka plays the pipe all day.”

Alenushka became melancholy. A big tear slid down her cheek. On the spot where it dropped, the floor began to smoke. The tear had burned a deep trace in the stone.

Pookar jerked back his leg in alarm. “Some tear that! I wouldn’t want them sobbing on me like that!”

“What, Pookar, you haven’t heard that tears are the main weapon of women?” the cat Muffin was surprised.

“Of course I have, but I didn’t think it was so serious,” said Pookar.Alenushka stopped crying and wiped her face thoroughly with her

apron. “Hide quickly, kids! If the Miseries scent you, not even bones will be left!”

“Why didn’t they eat you?” Pookar asked with suspicion.Alenushka herself clearly did not know the reason. “I cook for them and

I help their illiterate daughter with the Russian language,” she said.“So, you work in the enemy’s army? Not good! The fatherland doesn’t

forgive such people!” Pookar wagged a finger at her.“Be quiet, Pookar! How’s the cat Meown? Scholarchkin?” Muffin asked

with concern.“They also haven’t been eaten yet. The Miseries want to force Meown to

tell stories, but he won’t agree. And Scholarchkin is so small that you can’t even make broth out of him.”

Pookar had finished stuffing his pockets with precious stones. He could barely stand because of their weight.

“What do the Miseries look like?” he asked Alenushka. “Disgusting! Huge, gross. Especially beware of their eyes! They possess

magical powers. Never yield to the temptation to look the Miseries in the eye! You’ll lose your will right away. Even bears from Talking Forest, spellbound by the red eyes of the Miseries, went like obedient sheep right into the boiling cauldron.”

Muffin sat down on her hind legs in surprise. “They have red eyes? Here’s horror! A blue-eyed brunet is beautiful, grey-eyed is still okay, but red-eyed... Ugh!”







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“Why do you think they’re brunets? Maybe they’re blonds?” the doll Olga asked.

“Blonds? Ugh!” Muffin said. “Ugh, and again ugh!”“We had hoped that the Miseries are mortally afraid of light... But here’s

this candle!” Masha said.Alenushka smiled joylessly. “Yes, the Miseries are afraid of the living

sunlight. But they withstand just fine the sparkle of emeralds from a single candle,” she said.

“But how can we overcome the Miseries? They must have some susceptibilities?” Flamy began to fret.

Alenushka did not manage to answer as all the diamonds and emeralds in the cache started flaring a blood-red light.

“The Miseries are coming! Hide! Maybe they won’t scent you!” Alenushka hastily led the friends to the pantry beyond the cache and told them to lock it from the inside.

The stones again flared up blood red. The Miseries entered the cache. Masha looked through a crack and shuddered. There were three Miseries: Misery, Missus Misery, and their daughter – giants with curved fangs sharp as knives and with long claws, shaggy on the back but with bare bellies. In comparison, a nightmare would seem like a daydream.

Misery moved his nose and his red eyes lit up. “Tch-tch! It smells of Russian! Was someone here?” he asked Alenushka suspiciously.













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Alenushka trembled. The Miseries’ daughter saved her by bursting out laughing. “You, Papa, read too many fairy tales. They always say there, ‘Tch-tch! It smells of Russian! Was someone here?’ It stinks of Alenka, Alenka!”

“Why do you attack Papa? Indeed, he can’t even scare others! You cut him down in everything! He’s Misery and he frightens,” Missus Misery said, falling on their daughter.

The monsters pulled a wooden table and chairs from somewhere. They obviously did not overload themselves with unnecessary furniture.

“Alenka, dinner! Quickly! If we don’t like your cooking, you become dinner yourself! He-he-he!” Misery demanded.

Alenushka brought dinner in. It was a whole wild boar roasted on a spit. She could barely carry it. None of the Miseries even lifted a finger to help. They only hurried her.

Masha and Flamy relieved each other at the crack. They saw how, after downing half a wild boar, Misery picked at his fangs with a tablespoon as a toothpick, leaned back on the chair, and began to snore.

However, he did not succeed in falling asleep because his daughter punched his ear with a fist. “A fairy tale? You promised me a fairy tale after dinner! I want a fai-ry-tale!!!”

Misery woke up, shook his head, dumbfounded, and snorted again. The indignant daughter intended on dealing him a blow with an unfinished boar leg, but Missus Misery caught her hand in time. “Stop being so violent! Don’t you see that Papa’s tired?! I’ll give you a cuff on the back of the head!”

“He isn’t tired! I’m tired,” the daughter said, upset. “Do you think it was easy to drag along that disgusting cat? He was scratching all the way, and now he’s offended and doesn’t want to tell fairy tales. I’ll go cut off his tail!”

Alenushka approached with tear-stained eyes and placed on the table a bucket of kissel.24 The Miseries attacked the dessert. After the boar, they had a terrible thirst. Misery woke up and downright snuffled with enjoyment, filling up on kissel.

Pookar was even drooling. The magic tablecloth had been feeding him nothing but kvass for two days already, but here was kissel! Even apple! His favourite! He rummaged in his knapsack, which Baba-Yaga had put together

24 Kissel is an Eastern European dessert made of thickened and sweetened fruit puree of a soft custard texture.







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for the trip, and pulled out the cap of invisibility. Snap! He pulled it over his eyes and instantly disappeared.

“Stop, Pookar! Don’t do it!” Masha whispered belatedly.The cap of invisibility seemed too big for Pookar. It immediately slid

down to his nose and he had to move by touch. Bumping into walls, he jumped out of the pantry. Masha and Flamy only managed to shut the door behind him.

“How much heroism and all for what? For kissel! It’s so like Pookar!” the doll Olga sighed.

Pookar ran around the cache. The Miseries watched uneasily as the emeralds flashed, alerting them. Misery half rose, took a few steps, and sprawled on the floor as if he had caught on something.

The half-empty bucket of kissel tilted. They noticed that kissel was pouring out, but not a drop was spilled on the table. A miracle, indeed!

“There’s somebody here! I stumbled over someone!” Misery roared.Missus Misery and her daughter, recovering from fear, grabbed the

tablecloth and pulled it at the same time, hoping to catch the invisible one.







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Chapter TwelvePRINCE PIROZHEVSKII, MISFIT, AND AVDOKHINA

The morning of the day Avdokhina undertook to look after Misfit, Pirozhkov returned from an extended meeting of the Society of Concerned Residents, or SCR, which he himself also founded. Thanks to Pirozhkov, all the benches near the building were repainted in a pale orange colour and numbered in Latin numerals from I to X. On top of that, the tidy inscription For the elderly and women with children stood out on some benches.

Before summoning the elevator, Pirozhkov opened his mailbox out of habit, and a strange envelope imprinted with a coat of arms in the form of a gold crown fell unexpectedly from the newspaper. Pirozhkov even sat down examining it with curiosity. Wishing to prolong the pleasure, he did not immediately break the seal on the letter but went up to his apartment, put on his slippers, washed his hands with soap and water, put on the kettle, and only after that occupied himself with the envelope. It was made of a dense grey paper, oblong, with a stamp, on which Tsar Nicholas I looked majestic. On the reverse side was the seal of a double-headed eagle.

“Holy-moly, roly-poly!” Pirozhkov whispered and carefully slit open the envelope with a knife. In the envelope lay a thick sheet of expensive paper:

PRINCE PIROZHEVSKIIDEAR SIR, IN CONNECTION WITH THE DISMANTLING OF THE OLD ARCHIVES,

YOU ARE REVEALED TO BE A DESCENDANT OF THE ANCIENT FAMILY OF THE PRINCES PIROZHEVSKII. WE HUMBLY ASK YOU TO BE A PARTY OF THE GATHERING OF THE NOBILITY TO BE HELD IN OUR DISTRICT LIBRARY ON JUNE 27TH.

CONGRATULATIONS AGAIN, YOUR EXCELLENCY!Noble greetings,

Count Sidorchukskii.

Pirozhkov re-read the letter three times. At first, the thought flickered in him that it was a practical joke, but then he started to have hazy recollections of some things. He remembered, for example, that in the cupboard he had an old spoon with a coat of arms. And that his grandmother sometimes loved to insert a French phrase prickly as a three-day stubble, when he, Pirozhkov, while still a child, rattled off pioneer







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marches sitting on a chair. He also remembered grandfather the colonel with an unnaturally straight posture and a grey moustache. Hmm...yes, now you will reflect willy-nilly!

Pirozhkov became uneasy and ran around the apartment. After a prolonged search, at the bottom of grandmother’s old suitcase, he found a couple of photos of long ago immemorial and a yellowed letter to Princess Mathilda Pirozhevskaia.

Pirozhkov walked around all day as if lost, holding his head in his hands. He gradually got used to the thought of his nobility, and his bent back of a petty officer straightened into an exclamation mark.

It cost Misfit no special difficulty to convince Avdokhina that she had simply dreamt this fast-growing girl. Avdokhina was so intent on believing that she placed a cold compress on her own forehead.

“Oh-oh-oh!” she sighed. “So much trouble with children! I won’t do it again for any money! It’s easier to work in the station’s cafeteria than look after a one and only child.”

Misfit was bustling about near Avdokhina, holding a basin of water for cold compresses. The doorbell rang unexpectedly. Continuing to lament, Avdokhina trudged to open it. Suddenly the ohs changed into ahs. “Oh-oh-oh! Ah-ah-ah!”

Misfit became curious. She darted out into the hallway and peered out from behind Avdokhina’s skirt. She saw Pirozhkov in the doorway. The neighbour was in a black jacket and a white peaked cap. On the sleeve of his jacket was a red Voluntary Officer armband. He held in his hands a bouquet of artificial carnations, which he thrust gallantly at Avdokhina. To crown it all, Pirozhkov gave off the heady smell of Troika cologne.

An embarrassed Avdokhina sniffed the carnations and said, “V-v-very nice. Thank you. I’ll put them in water!”

Pirozhkov clicked his indoor slippers, bowed, and said with a slight burr, “Please allow me to present myself! My Honour Prince Pirozhevskii!”

Avdokhina pressed her wet handkerchief to her forehead. Here is how the day is turning out! First, girls grow by leaps and bounds, and then the neighbour on the landing turns out to be a prince. Not boring! However, must give Avdokhina credit, she adjusted quickly.

“Prince Pirozhevskii? What’s this: ‘Pink elephants. Part two’?” Misfit asked, pushing forward. Pirozhkov did not favour Misfit with an answer and only uttered something in the middle between “ugh” and “pah.”







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“If you’re a prince, where’s your carriage? A carriage for the prince is the same as the documents,” a persistent Misfit continued.

The former Pirozhkov would have started to swear and stomp his feet, but the current Pirozhevskii only knitted his brow haughtily and uttered elegantly, “You haven’t yet grown to adult conversation, child! Go get some fresh air!”

Pirozhkov bent an arm and offered it to Avdokhina, “Won’t you treat me to tea, lovely Antonina Petrovna?”

“Certainly, charming friend!” Avdokhina answered him in the same tone.

Avdokhina and Pirozhkov took some time getting into the kitchen. A wonder-struck Misfit followed behind them, but no such luck.

“There are old magazines in the room there. Go look at the pictures!” Avdokhina said and gently closed the door in Misfit’s face.

Misfit leaped onto the couch and tucked her legs under her. “Not for any gingerbread will I play with them anymore!”

Misfit sat on the couch, bored, for ten minutes, but then she suddenly beamed. She cautiously looked out into the hallway and then jumped to the window and opened it wide.

Pirozhkov at this time was sitting in the kitchen with Avdokhina and drinking tea, holding the cup in a hand with the pinkie sticking out.

“And then it dawned on me! Prince Pirozhevskii is me! And my grandma was a princess, and great-grandmother, and great-great-grandfather – they were all solid princes,” he said.

Avdokhina nodded and poured more tea for her neighbour.“Indeed, it is awkward somehow...” Pirozhkov felt self-conscious.

“Please, four sugars for me and chocolate candy, if you don’t mind, of course.”

“Of course not! For such a person!” Avdokhina ingratiatingly assured him.

At that moment, the kitchen suddenly darkened. Avdokhina and Pirozhkov looked at the window at once and were dumbfounded. A carriage with a noble emblem on the gilded door was dangling in the air, level with the eighth floor.

“Carriage for His Lordship Prince Pirozhevskii!” a sonorous voice rang out.







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“I didn’t order thi-this! You take thi-this away! We won’t allow thi-this! Shouldn’t make fun of us!” Pirozhkov shouted in a raspy tenor, pointing a finger at the carriage.

“As you command, Prince!” The door slammed shut. The wheels turned, and the carriage sped away as speedily as it had appeared.

After the carriage had disappeared, Avdokhina discovered that she was sitting on Pirozhkov’s lap and pouring out the teapot behind his collar. Pirozhkov tugged at the Voluntary Officer armband and was repeating endlessly, “Rain, rain, pour, pour, pour!”

Pirozhkov and Avdokhina did not see Misfit gently close the window after herself in the next room.

Avdokhina hopped off Pirozhkov’s lap and began wiping her neighbour with a kitchen towel. Pirozhkov, full of suffering, blinked his long, curved lashes (imagine, he had beautiful eyelashes!) and looked at Avdokhina with gratitude. Then he uttered the phrase, which afterwards seemed terribly intelligent and significant to his neighbour, namely, “Everything isn’t accidental! Everything isn’t even by chance! And all for the better!”

“Where’s the girl? She must be terribly scared!” Avdokhina was suddenly alarmed.

Pirozhkov and Avdokhina ran into the next room and discovered that Misfit was sitting on the couch and peacefully leafing through a magazine.







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“You didn’t see anything...uh...unusual? A carriage hanging outside the window?” Pirozhkov and Avdokhina asked her.

Misfit looked up. “A carriage? Is it like pink elephants or fast-growing girls?” she asked.

Pirozhkov and Avdokhina were embarrassed.“Just don’t tell anyone about this, kid! Neither Papa nor Mama, no one.

We’re just two elderly people having a cup of tea. Isn’t that the truth, Antonina Petrovna?” said Pirozhkov.

“Elderly people? Better speak for yourself, Peter Petrovich! I’d say: one mature man and one youthful, good-looking lady!” Avdokhina, having heard only this from Pirozhkov’s whole speech, repeated with offence in her voice.

“So do you agree, Masha? You won’t tell anyone?” Pirozhkov persistently repeated.

Misfit squinted. “Well! I won’t tell anyone. Not a word, not half a word...but only if you take me to the cafe and buy me ice cream!”

During her strolls around Moscow, Misfit managed to take to ice cream, no less than, say, mustard or peppers.

Pirozhkov and Avdokhina sighed and agreed. There was nothing to be done. If a little girl wants something, she will always find the infallible means to make you want the same.

In half an hour Misfit was already walking between Pirozhkov and Avdokhina, tenaciously holding their hands so that they would not run away. From time to time Misfit tucked in her legs, hung by the hands of Pirozhkov and Avdokhina, and those two suddenly faced each other.

“Bang! You aren’t hurt?” Misfit asked.Avdokhina wore her best dress, woollen with a turndown collar, and

hoped very much that Pirozhkov appreciated it. The former Pirozhkov would not have noticed it, but gallant Prince Pirozhevskii took the opportunity to pay a compliment. “What a dress, Antonina Petrovna! I would never have guessed that it’s old if a moth had not eaten through the collar.”

Avdokhina mumbled something unintelligible and for no special reason pulled Misfit’s hand. “Don’t be naughty!”

They were very close to the cafe when Misfit saw two workers sawing a poplar. “What are they doing? If the trees you have here are silent, it doesn’t mean that it isn’t painful for them!” she yelled.

“They’re sawing, it means, they should,” Pirozhkov answered reasonably and wanted to move on.







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“Who should? It has to be the ultimate idiot who takes up arms against trees! They’re absolutely defenceless! Order them to stop, you’re a prince!”

Pirozhkov felt ashamed. Especially as Avdokhina was also standing nearby. The blood of the Prince and public person boiled. He walked up to the workers and said, “Don’t saw the tree, guys! It is awkward somehow. The city should be planting trees and gardens, not uprooting vegetation.”

The workers looked askance at Pirozhkov, spat, and continued to torment the poplar.

A displeased Misfit ran up with dishevelled hair. “Hey, you there! Stop this instant! How dare you disobey Prince Pirozhevskii? Leave the tree alone, or it’ll stand up for itself!”

“How will it stand up for itself? It has no arms and legs!” one of the workers said through his nose.

“Miserable cowards! It appears you are sawing the tree only because it has no arms and legs! So, take that! ”

Misfit whispered a spell. “One has to be a fool to live in Fairyland and not learn how to conjure,” Grandpa Gorynych sometimes used to say. Misfit, indeed, was no fool.

The sawn tree branches came off the ground and began to move menacingly up to the workers.

“Help! Help!” the workers yelled and rushed to escape, forgetting about axes and saws.

“Oh, a new glitch! The sun isn’t too hot for you, Antonina Petrovna?” Pirozhkov said cheerfully.

“No, and you?”“I’m quite well indeed,” Pirozhkov assured her.The cafe was called Morsel and, frankly, resembled more a liquor store.

Misfit, Avdokhina, and Pirozhkov got there right after lunchtime. There were already no other customers, only the cleaning lady wiping the clean tables with a dirty rag. Misfit ran up to the counter and pulled a menu to herself. Prince Pirozhevskii sighed, glanced askance at Avdokhina, and took out his wallet.

“Take this! Fifteen servings of chocolate ice cream with syrup, twelve vanilla, and seven ice-cream bars. And for my companions, a bucket of coffee,” Misfit ordered. She was not used to wasting time on trifles.

The girl at the counter got up on tiptoes and looked over the counter in amazement, probably waiting to see about twenty preschool children there, but discovered no one and was slightly disappointed.







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“Wait!” Pirozhkov moved Misfit aside. “The girl got it wrong. Please, fifty grams of the cheapest ice cream for us and coffee without sugar for the lady. I don’t need anything. I already dined at home.”

Misfit, Avdokhina, and the server stared at Pirozhkov at once. He blushed, remembered that he was a prince, gathered the remains of his nobility, and said, “Fine... So be it, you can put sugar in the coffee!”

Misfit folded her arms in front of her chest and, having given Pirozhkov a shove with her shoulder, asked the girl at the counter, “May I ask a question? Have you ever met pink elephants? And did carriages dangle outside your windows?”

Pirozhkov was covered with sweat. However, his face suddenly became sly. “You’ve convinced me. I’ll buy you as much ice cream as you can eat, but not more,” he said. Pirozhkov was hoping that one or two servings would be enough. Really, how much ice cream can an eight-year-old girl eat?

“Agreed!” Misfit nodded.She took a scoop of French vanilla in a waffle cone, slowly brought it to

her mouth, and licked it listlessly several times. Pirozhkov smiled. I should think so! She has not even managed one and ordered twenty! However, then the Prince’s face suddenly fell. The ice cream in Misfit’s hands literally melted away before his eyes. In a minute, only the waffle cone was left. A moment later, it was also gone.

“Not bad... And now strawberry,” demanded Misfit. After the strawberry, Misfit licked her lips in anticipation. “I want it in orange!”

“Won’t you catch a cold?” Pirozhkov asked gingerly.“After two servings? Are you joking, Prince?” Misfit laughed.After the fifth serving, a pale Pirozhkov waved his hand. “If you’re going

to binge, then binge!” The princely blood boiled and Pirozhkov bought a bottle of pop.

In the next hour, Misfit ate twenty servings of ice cream and drank four litres of pop. Avdokhina looked at her with tenderness and repeated, “What a good appetite the girl has! Remember, we in our youth drank milk by half a bucket in the store. Then the milk was even overflowing.”

Finally, Misfit was full. “You aren’t hopeless! There’s definitely something princely in you,” she complimented Pirozhkov.

After paying, they went out of the cafe. The cheerful setting sun flooded the city. Sparrows were congregating in a small shrub near the road. Sweet evening sadness touched the heart.







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Misfit hung on the hands of Pirozhkov and Avdokhina. “What fun you are after all! Want to be my grandpa and grandma? I’m making you a formal offer!” Seeing the expression on the faces of Avdokhina and Pirozhkov, Misfit burst out laughing. “Well, so be it! You can think till tomorrow! I won’t rush!” she said.







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Chapter ThirteenA SULLEN FAMILY

When the Miseries tossed up the tablecloth with Pookar on it, Masha screamed, barely managing to cover her mouth. She knew that a soft Pookar would not get hurt but would surely lose the cap of invisibility. If this happened, the Miseries would catch Pookar and gut all the wool out of him.

She was not mistaken. The cap of invisibility in fact came off Pookar’s head when he, tumbling, flew up to the ceiling. The cap fell to the floor, but Pookar had vanished into thin air. The Miseries went through the entire cache in search of the uninvited guest. They looked under the table and the chairs, in pots, and even in teacups. However, they found nothing.

Suddenly their daughter noticed a mangy fur hat on the floor. “Look what I found, Mama!” she said, surprised, and instantly pulled the hat on her cauldron-shaped head. The daughter barely managed to do this when she immediately disappeared.

“Where are you, little fool? Where have you gone?” The Miseries were scared.

“Here I am! Cool cap, huh?” their daughter yelled happily, appearing in the opposite end of the cave.

Misery rushed to his daughter. He wanted to try on the miracle-cap himself. “Give Papa the cap! Don’t you dare touch it!”

However, before Misery ran up to his daughter, she managed to pull the cap of invisibility over her eyes and dissolved into the air. Misery’s hands closed on an empty place. He howled in rage.

“Aha!” his invisible daughter shouted, running around the cave. “What a wonderful cap! Now I won’t take it off my whole life! Nobody will force me to study spells and go to bed early, drink this nasty kissel, and obey you! I’ll harass everyone in a row, and pull off the cat Meown’s tail, and it won’t even know who did it! Yes, and I’ll give it to you good!”

The Miseries chased after their daughter, but to catch the invisible in the spacious cache was difficult. Their daughter only frolicked and tripped the beloved parents. When she tired of rushing around the cache, she ran out and sped through the maze, which she knew like her own five fingers. The adult Miseries ran by guesswork after her, cursing on the way. They wanted to catch their daughter and give her an educational punch, but the cap of invisibility deprived them of this.







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Masha, Flamy, the cat Muffin, and Olga came out of the small pantry.

“What did I tell you? They’re quite a family. No love, no respect... They’re still not bad among themselves. Dog doesn’t eat dog. But with others, they’re real animals!” Alenushka said.

“But where’s Pookar? Where has he disappeared to?” Masha asked with alarm.

“He won’t go anywhere! He’s like a bur – you want to shake him off, but you can’t,” the doll Olga declared.

“You love me so! I didn’t expect such spite from you!” A thin little voice was heard from somewhere above.

Masha raised her head and burst out laughing. On the ceiling, his waistband caught on a ledge, Pookar was hanging and dangling his chubby legs in the air. He was awfully lucky. Instead of tumbling onto the floor and being torn to pieces by the Miseries, he was hanging under the ceiling in complete safety the entire time they were searching for him.

“Jump, Pookar! We’ll catch you!” Masha shouted.“I would jump, but my pants won’t let me!” Pookar began to sing,

“Dilly-dang, Dilly-dang,Under the ceiling we hang,Don’t want to go down with a bang!”

Suddenly Pookar’s pants started to rip and he fell into Alenushka’s arms.

“You don’t say! You didn’t drop me! I didn’t expect it!” he said, surprised.

Alenushka began to hurry them. “We must free the cat Meown and Scholarchkin before the Miseries return! I’ll show you where they’re kept!”







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She led Masha and Flamy to a huge precious stone in the centre of the cache. “We need to move this block! The entrance to the dungeon is under it!”

Masha, Flamy, Alenushka, and Olga leaned on the stone with all their strength but could not even budge it a little bit.

“Pookar, don’t you want to help us?” the doll Olga spoke hoarsely, red from the effort.

“I would, but I can’t! The elastic in my pants broke,” Pookar explained.













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“I remember!” Alenushka exclaimed. “Why didn’t I guess it sooner! There’s a secret mechanism to make the stone move. The Miseries locked me in the pantry so that I wouldn’t see where it is.”

Masha, Alenushka, and the doll Olga began to feel the facets of the diamond in search of the secret lock. They touched each projection on the gleaming surface of the stone. Nevertheless, everything was in vain. The stone did not even think of going through the motions.

“Really we can’t think of anything? They are here, so close; we just have to open this disgusting lock!” The doll Olga almost burst into tears.

While the others were pondering what to do, Pookar tied up his pants with a rope and began to pick an emerald in the shape of a maple leaf off the wall. He accidentally set the secret mechanism in action. The stone immediately moved aside, revealing the passage to the dungeon.

“Well, what did I tell you!” Pookar enthused. “What would you do without me? A minute of searching and I found what you were looking for in a whole hour!”

The cat Meown and the gnome Scholarchkin jumped out of the dungeon. They had been hearing voices for a long time and could not wait to be released. Scholarchkin rushed to his friends and hugged them tightly. “I knew that you’d save me! I believed, I hoped! How I love you!”

Masha, Flamy, and the doll Olga were deeply moved. Pookar patted Scholarchkin on the shoulder. “We missed you too, Scholarchkin!”

The cat Meown, having been out of the light for so long, was blinded by the glitter of the precious stones. He did not see Muffin immediately because she, feeling shy, went off to a corner of the cache and pretended to examine the design on the floor.

“Hel-lo! Did you open the lock?” Meown rubbed against Alenushka’s knees.

“Say thank you to her, lazy! She saved you!” Alenushka pushed Meown to Muffin. The cat arched his back and purred, “Th-ank you, dearest Muffin! I’m very grateful to you! How you’ve grown prettier since our last meeting! Your fur is softer and your eyes sparkle. Has this heroism glamorized you?”

“Muffin didn’t tremble in the spring in vain!” Masha thought.Muffin shyly covered her beaming face with the tip of her fluffy tail.“Quiet! Do you hear?” Alenushka whispered suddenly.The echo of heavy footsteps resounded along the corridors of the

labyrinth. The Miseries were returning. Pookar did not lose his head, and, pressing on the emerald in the shape of a maple leaf, returned the stone







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back in its place. Now it would take some time before the Miseries realised that the prisoners had escaped and set off on a chase. The Miseries’ footsteps got louder and louder. Alenushka hurriedly opened a door in the corner of the cache. “In here!”

As soon as they slipped into the opened recess, the Miseries flew into the cache. They caught their disobedient daughter and were now spanking her so loudly that it was possible to decide that they were beating out a carpet somewhere close by.







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Chapter FourteenTHE PURSUIT, THE PURSUIT...

The Miseries spanked their daughter and began to call Alenushka to prepare soft feather beds for them. They usually slept during the day and raided Fairyland at night. “Hey, Alenka! Get a move on! Or are you bored of living?”

However, no matter how the Miseries yelled, Alenushka did not appear. The monsters got suspicious. They looked into the dungeon and discovered that it was empty. Realizing that Meown, Scholarchkin, and Alenushka had vanished, the Miseries issued a howl of rage. The cave walls trembled and mighty echoes rang their roar through the maze.

“Alenka couldn’t have gone far! We’ll seize her and tear her to pieces!” “I’m scared!” Masha whispered when the echo of the Miseries’ howl

reached her.“Run! Just keep quiet and run!” Alenushka squeezed Masha’s hand.Despite their outward sluggishness, the Miseries galloped with huge

clumsy leaps. In the dusky corridor, their eyes were glowing like embers.Flamy, the fastest and most nimble of all, was running last, urging on

the others. Masha was holding Pookar and Olga in her arms. In front, showing the way, Alenushka was hurrying, with Scholarchkin, Muffin, and Meown following her. Soon the fugitives already heard the intermittent breathing of the Miseries behind their backs.

“Turn back! Turn around and look us in the eye! We won’t do anything bad to you!” The Miseries’ voices sounded unexpectedly affectionate. Masha even wanted to believe them, to stop and rest, and to end this exhausting race. But she understood that it was not possible to do so.

Hanging from Masha’s arm, Pookar coolly rummaged in his pockets, wondering whether to throw away something unnecessary and heavy. Pookar himself seriously did not remember what he had in his pockets. A spring from a watch, a spool, a penknife, a teaspoon, emeralds from the cache, tiny billiard balls, cap guns... Billiard balls! He had a great idea.

Pookar grabbed a handful of tiny balls and shouted to Flamy running behind Masha, “When I count to three, you jump up! Understand? Jump!” Flamy did not have time to find out what Pookar was planning and he just nodded. He hoped that Pookar had come up with some worthwhile idea.

“I’m counting: one, three!” Pookar and mathematics were not in accord and he inadvertently left out the number two. A surprised Flamy worked his







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wings and took off from the floor. In the same second Pookar dropped the handful of billiard balls.

Misery had already stretched out his huge hairy paws to grab Flamy, but he stepped on the billiard balls... A-a-a-ah!!! He ran into the wall and rolled across the floor. Missus Misery bumped into him. A tangle of floundering monsters rolled along the flagstones of the secret passage. Not understanding in the dark, the Miseries bit and scratched each other, and some time passed before they realized that those they were chasing had slipped away.

“I did a good job! Only, pity about the billiard balls. They were nice balls, iron...” Pookar praised himself when the friends stopped for a moment to catch their breath. Masha grabbed Pookar and kissed him on the ear.

“What have you done? You stunned me! Is it really not possible to manage without sloppy sentimentality?” Pookar was indignant.

However, here the stomping of the Miseries reached the fugitives. The monsters were catching up again. Suddenly, the corridor forked. The friends saw a narrow hatchway in one of the walls. Scholarchkin took Alenushka’s handkerchief and threw it near the hatchway. It only remained to hope that the Miseries fell for this simple trick.

The friends stealthily went a little further along the main corridor and hid behind the turn. Their lives depended on the success of Scholarchkin’s plan. It seemed to Masha that her heart was bursting out of her chest and was beating so loudly that the Miseries could hear it.

The rumble of footsteps swelled. The monsters rushed, advancing black paws with sharp claws. To grab! To break! Unexpectedly, the stomping stopped abruptly somewhere very close. Just one jump separated the Miseries from the fugitives pressed hard against the cold rock.

“Look! Alenka’s hanky! No way out from there! They’re trapped!”Masha heard the terrible roar very close by. If the Miseries took some

more steps along the main corridor, then all would be lost! However, fortunately, it did not happen. The trick was a success. Groaning, the Miseries climbed into the narrow passage.

“Come out yourself, Alenka! It won’t be worse, of course, but come out all the same!” they hissed.

A little later Misery got stuck in the narrow passage and, like a cork, plugged up the others. It took the monsters a long time to break free. The hatchway, into which they had crawled, ended in a dead end. When the







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Miseries realized that they had been deceived, such a terrible howl reached out from the depths of the cave that it almost caused a cave-in.

“Alenushka, remember you were saying that you know how to defeat the Miseries?” Masha asked.

“I didn’t say that I know how to defeat them. I only said that the Miseries have vulnerability,” Alenushka corrected her.

“What is it? Tell us!” Pookar rushed her.The travellers walked quickly along the widening corridor. Light filtered

through from somewhere above and the dark passageway did not seem so bleak. Although, certainly neither Masha, Flamy, Alenushka, nor even the frivolous Pookar forgot for a moment that they would soon have to clash with the Miseries.

“Once, on Buyan lived the mighty hero Sviatozar guarding Fairyland and its inhabitants...” Alenushka began to tell them.







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Chapter FifteenTHE CAVE OF WONDROUS MIRRORS

“Sviatozar was a kind and patient hero. Once, a bird built a nest in his hair, taking it for a full-grown bush. Sviatozar stayed in place for a month until the chicks hatched,” Alenushka continued.

“Typical publicity stunt. The bird was a dummy and the chicks were probably inflatable!” Pookar stated.

“Be quiet, Pookar!” Olga silenced him.“Was he strong, this Sviatozar? Stronger than the Miseries?” The gnome

Scholarchkin felt around for his leather-covered notebook, his gift from Baba-Yaga.

“Very strong. A stronger hero couldn’t be found in the world. Sviatozar, with one hand, pulled out the largest oak tree in Talking Forest by the roots. He could pulverize a huge boulder into powder with his fingers.”

“Then why didn’t he banish the monsters?” the doll Olga asked.Alenushka sighed. “Sviatozar’s asleep. The Miseries fed him a magic

potion and imprisoned him in an underground cavern. It doesn’t matter how mighty the hero was, his weak point was found.”

“What weak point?” Masha opened her eyes wide.Alenushka looked down and said nothing.“Sviatozar loved to drink excessively. He drank everything that his hand

chanced upon,” the cat Meown muttered.Alenushka blushed from shame for the hero. “Yes, it’s true. When the

Miseries appeared in Fairyland, they were behaving quietly at first and didn’t even appear before anyone’s eyes: they spied out and sniffed out everything, what and how. The Miseries saw that they couldn’t take Sviatozar by force and decided on guile. They mixed a sleeping potion with intoxicating wine and left a barrel of it right in the middle of the forest. Sviatozar drank it up...”

“What? Didn’t he know that you never drink from unknown barrels?” The doll Olga could not believe this.

“Of course he knew, but he couldn’t resist. Then he fell asleep... he’s still sleeping! The Miseries would have killed him, but they can’t.”

“We need to wake Sviatozar. Without him, we can’t defeat the Miseries. Alenushka, do you know where they’ve hidden him?” Flamy asked.

Alenushka brought a finger to her forehead and started to recall. “It seems the Miseries said something about Salt Cave. It’s at Rainbow River,







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under a waterfall. But the Miseries bragged that even if someone would have the courage to get there, all the same they won’t be able to wake him.”

“So what should we do?” Muffin started to worry.Pookar pulled Alenushka’s arm. “Let’s get there and we’ll see! Just let

me get to him, I’ll wake him in a flash! Maybe need to tickle him or pour water on him.”

Alenushka smiled and twisted Pookar’s red forelocks. “Take your time! It’s a long way to Rainbow River. First, we must get to the Cave of Mirrors; there is the way to Rainbow River. We’ll find a raft and go downstream to the waterfall. There it’ll be clear what’s next.”

Stretching out into a chain, the friends moved along the secret passageway. Pookar stepped lightly first on short legs, followed by Masha, the doll Olga, Scholarchkin, Alenushka, and Flamy. They felt uncomfortable in the heart of the mountain. They wanted to be out in the open soon. Muffin and the cat Meown were whispering. Muffin was completely charmed by the cat’s soft manners and, not knowing why herself, she repeated every second, “I’ve been proposed to a hundred times, but I refused! I’m opposed to marriage on principle!”

“Doesn’t matter... It happens... ” Meown patiently agreed.The friends walked and walked, and there was still no Cave of Mirrors.

Masha began to worry that they were going around in circles. The doll Olga’s legs got tired. She whimpered softly and only calmed down when Flamy put her on his back.

“It’s nice at home now! They’re probably sitting down to dine!” Flamy said dreamily. At that moment, he remembered Mama, Grandpa Gorynych, Misfit, and mustard pies.

“Here!” Pookar’s joyful yell was heard very close by. He was standing at the turn and pointing at something with his finger.

“The Cave of Magic Mirrors!” Alenushka exclaimed.The walls of the underground cave were lined with mirrors of various

sizes and shapes. Mirrors went from the ground and reached an unattainable height. In the centre of the cave was an elevation with railings, resembling a carousel. There, a single candle like that in the Miseries’ cache was burning with a dim light.

“Alright! I like it here!” Scholarchkin was delighted. The gnome had barely stepped on the carousel when the magic mirrors

blazed up. Scholarchkin appeared in each. There was a great multitude of reflections and all were different. One playful mirror caught Scholarchkin’s







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reflection and spun it with insane speed. Another put a royal mantle on the gnome and put a sceptre in his hands. A third endowed Scholarchkin with a long grey beard. It was felt that the mirrors were bored and were delighted with the new fun.

“Oho-ho-ho! I want it too!” Pookar rejoiced, climbing onto the carousel.The mirrors immediately got busy with Pookar. One ingratiating mirror

slimmed down his legs, widened his shoulders, turned his entangled head of red hair into brown curls, and in general made him a handsome man from a billboard.

Pookar admired his own reflection. “Look over there! Isn’t it true I’m very good-looking? Although, of course, not as nice as in real life!”













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The doll Olga took a look and said, “More like you over there in the last mirror!” The mirror Olga was talking about reflected a lop-eared face with an apelike jaw, freckles, and, for some reason, with a bow.

Pookar was offended, but after staring at it intently, he burst out laughing. “Ha-ha! It’s not me but you, Olga!”

“Me?”“Who else? You’ve also gotten up onto the carousel!”Now everyone but the cautious Alenushka was already on the carousel.

The mirrors played with the patches of light and sparkled. The reflections alternated, divided into twos, changed places... Hundreds of Muffins, Meowns, Mashas, Flamys, Olgas, and Pookars got tangled up and scattered along the thousands of mirrors in the magic cave. Music started to play and the carousel started to rotate slowly. The travellers almost burst with laughter, looking at their own images in the wondrous mirrors. They completely forgot about the proximity of the Miseries and the danger threatening Fairyland and the island of Buyan.

“Would never have recognized! Pookar, Pookar! Masha, there you are! Muffin! Meown! Who’s there? Is that really me! Not at all like me!”

Alenushka stood aside from her friends having fun and recalled something. “The Miseries said that the reflections will assume life outside the mirrors if the magic word is uttered. Then the enchanted wheel will turn and...” she said.

Masha and Flamy froze. They imagined what would happen if the reflections came to life. It would be impossible to tell which is real and which is fake! Where you are and where your shadow is.

Pookar laughed, “Nonsense of nonsense and all nonsense! I don’t believe a single word! They’re bits of glass! Nothing but bits of glass!”

“What have you done! That’s the magic word! Shut up!” Alenushka was scared.

“Nonsense and again nonsense,” Pookar persisted.In that very second, the mirrors flickered and dimmed. The music broke

off. An ominous silence hung. The glass started to tinkle audibly. The candle went out. The friends stood in the darkness and listened as the clinking of glass intensified. The air in the cave started to vibrate. Everyone caught his breath with the presentiment of something terrible. Then the candle suddenly flared up by itself and the music began to play with incredible speed. The carousel started whirling speedily and the travellers saw that they were no longer alone in the cave. Hundreds of animated reflections







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rushed around the scene. Here were handsome-Pookar and scary-Pookar, over-fluffy Muffin, multiple-headed and multiple-legged Flamy, a couple dozens very similar Meowns, numerous Mashas, and the doll Olga with blue, red, orange, and green ribbons...

The carousel shook; the travellers flew from it and instantly became confused with the reflections. Now Masha did not know which of the hundreds of young dragons surrounding her was the real Flamy. “I’m Flamy! No, not you but me! Me! Me!” They all repeated as a choir, spinning around in a mad dance.

The cat Meown became absolutely cross-eyed, choosing the prettiest from a quantity of Muffins. He liked the eyes more on one, the fur of another, the legs of the third...

Pookar separated a dozen Scholarchkins fighting over the notebook. There were many Scholarchkins but only one notebook, and it was clearly not enough for all of them.

Peace and mutual understanding reigned only among the Olgas. They said hello, smiled, straightened each other’s hair, and whispered something. A few had already shaken their fist at Pookar’s reflections.







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Suddenly the Miseries rushed into the cave. On seeing that the cave was full of animated reflections, the monsters froze for a moment and then started to seize the reflections by the shoulder and throw them onto the floor. The mirror reflections burst into a clinking laughter and scattered into pieces. The friends huddled in a far corner of the cave and watched the Miseries in fear.

“Behind one of the mirrors should be a passage, but which one? I have never been here before,” Alenushka whispered fearfully.

“We need to break all the mirrors, and the difficulty will disappear by itself!” Pookar suggested.

“What’s with you! Breaking a mirror is bad luck! Besides, the Miseries would catch us immediately. The doubles would vanish together with the mirrors!”

Chasing the reflections, the Miseries accidentally found themselves on the carousel, and a lot of ugly monsters instantly appeared in the mirrored cave. Their animated copies were as ugly and malicious as the Miseries







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themselves. Before the doll Olga’s eyes, one of the doubles smashed her little mirror friend, for whom she had recently adjusted the bow, to pieces on the flagstone floor. Olga, in horror, covered her face with her hands.







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Chapter SixteenDOWNSTREAM OF THE RAINBOW RIVER

Cautiously looking back at the Miseries, the fugitives made their way along the wall of mirrors. It was almost impossible to find among the thousands of mirrors the one concealed exit to Rainbow River. If they did not slip out of the Cave of Mirrors before the Miseries disposed of the last animated reflection, it would be their end. The monsters were raging in the centre of the cave, breaking the mirror images. Before crumbling and vanishing, the reflections burst into a light clinking laugh. They did not die, they simply returned to their mirrors.

“Where’s the exit? All the glass is so identical!” Masha was agitated. The river could be heard humming somewhere nearby and the waves

were splashing against the rocks. There was an unsteady, humid mist in the air. But how to get to the river? Behind which mirror is the secret door hidden?

Pookar nudged the cat Muffin. “Muff, Muff, make a heroic decision! Or are all your thoughts in one direction now with the appearance of this babbling cat?”

“I know how to find the necessary mirror!” Scholarchkin interrupted Pookar.

“How?”“There should be drops of water on it! It’s the dullest, because it’s the

closest of all to the river. Mirrors don’t take in moisture!”“But why? I protest! I demand solid proof!” Pookar argued, but nobody

was listening. Everyone rushed to find the dullest mirror.At that moment in the midst of the cave, the next to last reflection fell

apart with a ringing of glass. Only one of the dragon doubles was still getting away from its pursuers, rushing with breakneck speed around the magic carousel. Misery flashed his red eyes impatiently and the poor dragon shattered. The Miseries threw themselves at the fugitives. Now that they were done with the reflections, there was nothing to hinder them from tearing the kids to shreds.

“Faster, faster! Look for the exit or we’re lost!” the doll Olga hurried them.

Here in one of the corners of the cave Masha saw a cracked dull mirror. The nearness of the water made itself felt: the mirror had darkened so that it was already not reflecting. Alenushka touched it lightly and it slowly







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turned. The beginning of a narrow staircase revealed itself. The fugitives hurried along the wet and slippery steps.

The mirror door closed right in front of the Miseries’ noses. Misery wanted to smash it to smithereens with his heavyweight fist, but Missus Misery stopped him suddenly. “Wait! I have a better idea!” she said with a grin.

The friends ran out of the Cave of Mirrors.“Here it is, Rainbow River!” Alenushka cheered.One look was enough for Masha to understand why the river was so

named. The water in the river was like a flowing rainbow. Seven multi-coloured streams were flowing side by side, without mixing their waters.

The stream by the shore was RED.The next stream was ORANGE.Beside the orange was YELLOW.After the yellow was GREEN.In the middle of the river, on a steep descent, a BLUE stream was

raging.Beside it, an INDIGO stream was foaming.VIOLET waves were splashing against the opposite shore.The underground river was narrow, but swift and fast flowing. The

water was raging and seething, spurting little vivid coloured fountains. Scholarchkin scratched his brow with a pencil. “The water in the river is

multi-coloured! Have you noticed, Pookar? How to justify this from a scientific point of view?”

“It’s all a piece of cake. There’s probably a watercolour paint factory nearby. Or a fuel and grease supply base. It’s possible to find a plausible explanation for every miracle,” Pookar declared.

“What are you saying! It’s a magic river! There are no factories near it!” Meown was outraged.

Alenushka and Flamy intensely examined the shoreline. “Where’s the raft? Was it really washed away?” Alenushka began to worry.

While Flamy and Alenushka were searching for the raft, Masha dipped her flushed face into the water. “Wow! Here’s a rainbow! And what a fish just swam past: blue-crimson-green with brown spots!”

“What horror! I always prefer monochromes. Br-r!” Muffin grimaced.“Don’t you want to take a bath?” Pookar suggested to her.“In coloured water?! Never!” the cat objected.







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“Hmm... Muffy, you’re missing a wonderful opportunity to dye your fur in red or even blue. Meown would like that,” Pookar began to incite her.

“Look! What’s that there in the rushes?” The doll Olga saw something massive made of logs in the reeds by the shore. It was certainly a raft.

“Hold them up! Hold them!” a terrible roar was suddenly heard.The Miseries rushed at the refugees from three sides. This was Missus

Misery’s plan – surround the travellers and cut off all their paths of escape. However, the monsters did not consider that the friends could manage to find the raft.

“Jump onto the raft! Flamy, cast off!” Alenushka hurried them. The fugitives jumped onto the slippery logs. Flamy hastily breathed out flame and burned the rope. The rapid caught the raft and carried it along.

The Miseries ran along the shore after the raft. They were furious that the fugitives had escaped, but their voices sounded tender, enticing. It seemed to Alenushka that she recognized her brother Ivanushka’s voice. “Sister, I’m here! Look at me! Dear, dear Alenushka! You really don’t love your brother at all!”

Masha heard Mama’s voice. “Where are you, Masha? Don’t pain us, come here!” Masha, almost believing that this was Mama calling her from the shore, almost looked back.

The first to come to his senses was Scholarchkin, to whom the Miseries shouted that he had dropped his notebook. “Immediately close your eyes tight and cover up your ears! Otherwise, we’re lost!” Scholarchkin ordered.

Everyone on the raft did so, only the cat Muffin could not control herself and glanced at the Miseries with one eye.

“Muffin! Pretty fluffy Muffin! No one appreciates you; no one knows all your worth as well as we do! All your dreams will come true! Look at us! Pretty fluffy Muffin, our looks are full of admiration!” the Miseries called her.

“Hmm... These Miseries aren’t complete blockheads. Unlike some, they immediately noticed how worthy I am!” The cat was surprised and quickly looked around at the Miseries.

It was a fatal mistake. The cat barely turned her head when the Miseries’ flickering pupils sunk into hers. Muffin’s body tensed up. Her paws began to twitch. The red pupils of the Miseries seemed to have penetrated into the very depths of her conscience and robbed her of the authority over herself.







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“What’s with me? No... no... I don’t want to... I’ll drown!” Muffin muttered. She staggered, rose, and tried to jump into the water. Alenushka pressed the scrambling Muffin to the raft and covered her eyes with her palm. Muffin meowed and scratched, trying to jump into the river, and subsided only a minute later. The current quickly carried the raft away. Wailing in rage, the Miseries began to lag behind.

However, here the unforeseen happened. The raft fell into an eddy. It happened so quickly that Masha could not keep her ground on the slippery logs and fell into the water. Pookar, as usual perched on Masha’s lap, fell into the river with her.

No one on the raft noticed that Masha and Pookar were in the water. They had closed their eyes and covered their ears in order not to succumb to the sweet speeches and captivating looks of the Miseries. Masha and Pookar shouted, but their voices were muffled by the noise of the river and the bloodthirsty howls of the Miseries on the shore.

The raft disappeared behind a bend in the river, but Masha and Pookar remained in the water. The Miseries threw a rope with a noose and dragged them to shore. Masha and Pookar were wet and trembling. Misery grabbed Masha and raised her to the level of his fanged face.

“Gotcha! I’ll tear you apart!” He opened wide his huge fetid mouth.He would have bitten off Masha’s head, had Missus Misery not stopped

him. “Wait! This girl looks somewhat strange! Where are you from? Answer me!”

“Moscow!” Masha replied, almost bursting into tears.“What’s this morko? There’s no morko! Tell the truth! You’re not from

the island of Buyan? Answer me!” Misery roared.“No!”The hideous faces reflected something like concern.“A girl from the human world? On Buyan there’s a stupid prediction that

some girl will overpower us, the Miseries. Is it really this one? She’s pathetic and weak. I can bite her in half,” said Missus Misery.

“Still, better get rid of the girl. Let’s leave her in the Cave of Horrors! She’ll go out of her mind and will no longer be a danger to us. Not a single human can stand what he sees there,” Misery proposed. He dragged Masha to one of the mirrors. Behind the mirror was an oak door. Misery opened it and tossed Masha into a tight cave.

“Sit there, girl from the human world, and go crazy with fear! If your friends try to rescue you, we’ll grab them. My hands are itching to count all







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of Alenka’s bones. How do you like that, so sly! To thank me for my kindness this way! For all the crusts of bread that I specifically kept in dampness so they’d be covered with mould!” Missus Misery growled.

“And what do we do with this?” Misery glanced askance at Pookar, whom his daughter was twisting in her hands. She lifted Pookar by the legs and examined him, giggling.

“No, Papa, don’t even dream of it! I won’t give him up! The cat Meown ran away and I’m left without a toy,” his daughter claimed.

“I don’t want to be your toy!” Pookar was indignant, dangling with his head down.

“Doesn’t matter what you want. I’m going to play, not you. I can think of a lot of interesting games: hurl stones at you, pull out the stuffing, rip off your arms and legs. Not one toy has lasted longer than three days with me yet.”

Meanwhile, the adult Miseries were deliberating in the hall of magic mirrors. The quiet mirrors reflected their evil mugs.

“Aren’t you afraid that the pests we let slip will wake up Sviatozar?” Missus Misery asked.

“Impossible. They won’t be able to remove the spell,” Misery calmed her.

Shortly after Masha and Pookar fell into the river, their friends on the raft opened their eyes.

“Where’s Masha?” Alenushka asked, noticing that the girl was gone.“Pookar’s gone too!” the cat Muffin began to fret.The doll Olga threw up her hands. “Oh, no! Remember, the raft was

spinning? They probably fell off!”Flamy hastily took off and made a circle over Rainbow River. “They’re

nowhere!” he shouted from the height. “The Miseries threw them a rope and pulled them to shore. They

shouted, but you didn’t hear!” a voice creaked suddenly.“Who’s talking?” asked Scholarchkin.“Me, the raft. I’m made of trees from the Talking Forest. I tried to float

towards Masha and Pookar, but the current carried me away! I swear by my bark, I tried but failed!” the same voice explained.

Olga became terribly agitated and grabbed Alenushka’s sleeve. “How do we help Masha and Pookar? Think of something! I beg you, think!” Olga began to cry.







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“Now’s not the time for tears! Now we must work out a plan to help them,” Scholarchkin said in a businesslike manner.

“So work one out!”“I would, but I’m used to noting everything down in points. But it’s

difficult to write in the notebook. The raft shakes,” the gnome complained.“No need to write anything. Only the hero Sviatozar can save our

friends. Raft, tell us, will we be at Salt Cave soon?” Alenushka asked.“Salt Cave is under the waterfall. I’ll take you to the waterfall, but you’ll

have to go further by yourselves. I can’t get the logs closer as you go down the steep cliff!” the raft replied.

“And when will we get to the waterfall?”“No sooner than an hour. I’m drifting fast, I swear by my branches!” the

raft started to justify itself.Alenushka sighed. She knew that every minute reduced the chances of

saving Masha and Pookar. Would they be able to break the spell and wake Sviatozar? However, she said nothing to the doll Olga, Scholarchkin, Meown, or Muffin. She did not want to distress them in advance.

“If Masha survives, it’ll be a real miracle,” Alenushka thought to herself. Yet, she knew the Miseries too well to believe in miracles.

Meanwhile, Masha, thrown into the Cave of Horrors, saw above her head a ceiling with sharp spikes. The ceiling was slowly descending. It would take all of a few hours and the spikes would pierce through her. The girl began to cry. If only someone was nearby. But there was no one. Only silence and the impending bulk of rocks above her head...







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Chapter SeventeenTHE CAVE UNDER THE WATERFALL

Flamy gripped the rope with his teeth and flew ahead of the raft, trying to make it move faster.

“Listen and remember! The waterfall we’re sailing to is dangerous. If we fall, we’re toast. Bare cliff on both sides. But in one place there’s a landing carved out of the rock. You should have time to get on it and tie me to the hook,” the raft warned.

“If not?” asked Scholarchkin.“We don’t have a choice. There’s already no choice,” the raft remarked.The rumble of the waterfall became louder and louder. The water in

Rainbow River raged and was ready to jump. An iridescent glow of millions of colourful sprays hung in the air. The raft was carried towards the waterfall. A precipice came into view, beyond which an abyss gaped.

Everyone greedily examined the landing that the raft had mentioned. The steps began from the water and were set against the vertical cliff. The edge of the stairs went to the waterfall. A hook was sticking out of the cliff. A few seconds before the raft dropped down the waterfall, Flamy took off and threw the rope over the hook. The rope went taut. Flamy hastily pulled the raft closer to shore and tied it tightly. The travellers moved from the raft to the steps and found themwelves above the rumbling waterfall.

Muffin looked down and immediately started to feel dizzy. And she, who walked along balcony railings in Moscow, was not afraid of heights! “Don’t look down! Have to get used to it!” she shouted.

“How did the Miseries manage to descend the vertical cliff and bring the heavyweight hero with them?” the doll Olga asked.

“The Miseries themselves didn’t go down. The bats carried the hero into Salt Cave. They all gathered – there are so many of them – in order to lift him,” Alenushka explained.

“Wait, wait! Since the bats flew over the waterfall, so can I!” Flamy was pleased.

“A beauty with a kind and selfless soul must kiss the hero. Only then will the spell be lifted and Sviatozar wake up,” said Alenushka.

“Maybe I’ll fit? It’s truly about me!” Muffin proposed unassumingly.Meown looked the cat over from head to tail with an evaluating glance.

“You don’t fit. You might be a beauty but not a person!” he meowed jealously.







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“Then I’ll turn into a beauty and kiss the hero. What won’t one do for Masha?” Flamy sighed.

“Won’t work! It must be a true beauty!” Alenushka shook her head.

“Then you kiss him yourself, Alenushka!” Scholarchkin suggested.

Alenushka blushed. “I’d be happy to, but how do I get into the cave?” she asked.

“I can’t take off with you. You’re too heavy,” Flamy looked guiltily at his friends.

“The doll Olga! That’s whom we need!” Alenushka exclaimed.

Olga blushed and began to rumple the hem of her dress. “I don’t know whether I’m suitable. It’s such a... responsibility.”

Olga had to be persuaded for a long time to fly with Flamy to Salt Cave and kiss the hero Sviatozar. She was ready to fly into the cave but would not agree to kiss the hero for anything.

“Is it really possible? We’re not acquainted at all! Besides, it’s somehow indecent to first kiss a man who’s so far above you in stature!” The doll was obstinate.

However, Olga allowed herself to be persuaded nevertheless. She understood that Masha and Pookar were in danger and needed to be rescued and only the hero could do it.

Flamy offered Olga his back and ordered her to hug his neck tightly. He took off from the edge of the waterfall with difficulty and flew amongst the multicoloured sprays. It was amazingly beautiful: the silvery young dragon and the waterfall shimmering with all the colours – red, green, blue, orange, indigo, yellow, purple.

Flamy descended in circles, keeping far away from the currents so as not to be caught by the swirl of the waterfall. The cats Muffin and Meown went to the edge of the landing, watching the flight of the young dragon.







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“Where’s the cave? Do you see it?” Flamy shouted, turning to Olga. The water was roaring so loudly that Flamy had to shout.

Olga, whose voice was not so strong, leaned over to Flamy’s ear. “Right there! Directly under the current!”

“Aha! Get ready! ”Flamy gathered speed and cut into the raging torrent. It lasted only a

moment, but Olga managed to get soaked to the skin. Flamy and his companion flew into a stone recess under the waterfall and rolled with a tumble across the floor. They were in Salt Cave.

Salt Cave was not big. It presented itself as a recess in the cliff; the vertical torrent of the water concealed its entrance. In the middle of the cave, arms under his head and snoring gently, the hero Sviatozar in shiny armour and red leather boots was sleeping. Near the hero lay a helmet and an oak club. The breath of the sleeping hero instantly dried the doll Olga’s dress.

“Don’t wait! Break his spell, quick!” Flamy pushed her.Olga looked at the hero, hesitantly shifting from foot to foot. Compared

with Sviatozar, she was so tiny that she could easily fit in the palm of his hand.

“Kiss him, quick! We don’t have time!” Flamy hurried her.“Couldn’t you turn away? I feel shy!” Olga asked.Flamy turned away. The doll Olga hesitantly approached the sleeping

hero, stamped her feet, plucked up courage, and, closing her eyes, kissed him on the cheek.







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Chapter EighteenTHE AWAKENING OF THE HERO SVIATOZAR

After kissing Sviatozar, Olga fearfully jumped back and pressed against Flamy. The hero was still snoring with his hands under his head and did not think of waking up. Olga and Flamy looked perplexedly at each other.

“Maybe you somehow kissed him wrong?” Flamy asked.“How wrong?” Olga was distressed.“I don’t know how. I’m no expert. What if it shouldn’t be on the cheek

but on the nose? Maybe try again?” Flamy suggested.At that moment, Sviatozar sneezed so deafeningly that the waterfall

stream swerved significantly. Olga and Flamy were almost blown out of the cave. It was good that they hid in a crack in the wall. Sviatozar started to turn. He yawned.

Olga and Flamy looked with bated breath at the hero. Sviatozar was waking up gradually. He sat up and sleepily bumped his head against the ceiling of Salt Cave. Pieces of salt flew in all directions. Yet he did not even notice.

“O-ho-ho-ho-ho! I slept well indeed!” Sviatozar said in a thunderous voice. He only now noticed the doll and the young dragon hiding in a corner of the cave. “Hello, kids! Where am I?” he said in a deep voice.







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“Hello, Uncle Sviatozar! You’re in Salt Cave. The Miseries slipped sleeping powder into your wine and moved you here, but we woke you up,” Flamy said happily. Olga was grateful that Flamy did not go into the details of how exactly the hero was woken up.

Sviatozar shook his head. “How long did I sleep?”“A very, very long time! When you fell asleep, I was still quite small, but

now I’m big! The Miseries have been keeping the whole Fairyland in fear. They ate almost all the animals in Talking Forest. Now they’ve captured our friends, Masha and Pookar, and may kill them.”

Sviatozar darkened. He squeezed a stone in his hand so hard that he crushed it into powder. “Where are these Miseries now? Quick, take me to them!” He grabbed the club and with a few strokes enlarged the Salt Cave entrance.

Alenushka and Scholarchkin, standing near the edge of the waterfall, heard the commotion and saw shards of broken stone mix with the current.

“Sviatozar woke up! He seems to be very angry!” Alenushka said.Flamy, with Olga on his back, emerged among the water sprays.







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“Sviatozar is climbing up the waterfall! He’s so strong that the water won’t stop him! Everything worked out for us!” Flamy yelled happily.

Sviatozar’s head in a helmet appeared over the face of the cliff. He pulled himself up and now he was already standing next to Alenushka.

The gnome Scholarchkin immediately placed the notebook in front of him, asking for his autograph. “Please! If you have no signature, you can put a cross!” he prompted.

“Well? I see you should be congratulated? Woke Sviatozar? He’s probably a tolerable dork,” Muffin muttered in Olga’s ear.

Sviatozar bowed low to his rescuers. His golden armour, from which the waterfall had washed away all the dust, shone and sparkled. “Thank you for coming to my rescue!”

“It was not us. It was Olga who helped you, hero! She kissed you,” Alenushka said.

The doll glowered at Alenushka. Now, she had let the cat out of the bag! She almost fainted from shame when Sviatozar lifted her up on his palm to his face and asked, “Liberator, I beg you to be my wife!”

“Impossible. You’re so excessively big. And then you’re much older than me...” the doll Olga babbled, not even losing her usual practicality in her embarrassment.

Sviatozar nodded. “We’ll do as you say, saviour! I understand we won’t be together. But all the same, I won’t stop loving you!” Then he hardened his face and asked, “Where are the Miseries? How do I find them?”

“No need to find them. They’re in the caves! Preparing for battle,” Scholarchkin said, hiding the notebook in his pocket.

Sviatozar squeezed the club in his hand. “Well! They’re getting ready, but I’m already ready! We’ll see who’s who.”

The friends sat down on the raft, which, under Sviatozar’s weight, settled deeply in the water. The hero rested his club against the bottom of the river and pushed off, using the club as a pole. Slowly and sluggishly, the talking raft moved against the current.

“How strong you are! It’s immediately obvious you’re a sportsman.” The cat Muffin was carried away and rubbed against Sviatozar’s leg.

“Shoo! Don’t dangle near my hand!” Sviatozar mumbled, flushed from exertion.

Some time passed before Rainbow River became wider and the strength of the current weakened. Now the raft floated faster. Nevertheless, it still seemed to everyone that they were returning very, very slowly. Nearly two







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hours had already gone by since the Miseries had caught Masha and Pookar. Anything could have happened to them during this time.

“Tell me about the Miseries! I should know with whom I have to fight,” Sviatozar said, turning to his companions.

“Well... The Miseries are very big and strong!” Alenushka said.“They’re crafty and sly. Instead of guard dogs they have bats,” Muffin

added.“And they also have a look that casts a spell!” Olga recalled.Sviatozar waved his club. “I’m not afraid to look danger in the eye!”“Not in this case,” remarked Scholarchkin. “The Miseries’ look casts a

spell and deprives the will. However, I’ve an idea!”The gnome took out from his pocket dark glasses with mirrored glass.

He always wore them in sunny weather and valued them no less than the notebook and pencil. “It’s possible to withstand the monsters’ looks if you wear dark glasses! Then their evil magic will be reflected by the glass and lose strength.”

“Do you want me to put your little round things on my nose? They’re absolutely tiny!” Sviatozar wondered. Indeed, the dark glasses were very small and clearly would not fit Sviatozar.

Scholarchkin sulked. Why had he not thought of that? “That’s what happens when there’s no possibility to do all the calculations!” he said with annoyance.

“No problem! I know the magnifying spell. Vasilisa taught me,” Alenushka consoled him.

She leaned towards the glasses and quietly whispered something. The glasses began to grow right away and now they already fit Sviatozar. The hero tried them on.

“Well?” Alenushka asked.“They’re probably alright, but still ridiculous. Where have you seen a

bespectacled hero?” Sviatozar asked doubtfully.“You now need the glasses no less than the club. Remember that!”

Alenushka said.Suddenly, they heard a splash. A huge stone hit the water not far from

the raft. Someone laughed.







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Chapter NineteenMASHA AND POOKAR IN THE MISERIES’ CAPTIVITY

Masha saw the ceiling with sharp spikes and understood what death the Miseries had prepared for her. With each passing hour, the ceiling would be hanging lower until it crushed her. She saw white, almost pulverized, bones on the floor. No one who fell in here before managed to get out. A terrible end was prepared for all.

Masha remembered Mama and Papa and thought that if she had remained in Moscow, nothing like this would have happened. Instead of trembling in the dark cave, she would now be sitting in a chair in front of the TV and watching cartoons. “What if it’s all a dream? What if, dying here, I calmly wake up at home among normal things?” she thought. However, she knew quite well that this was not a dream.

It cannot be said that Pookar’s situation was much better. The Miseries’ daughter dragged a cage with two hungry rats from somewhere, opened it, and set the rats on Pookar. “Take him! Fight, midget, or they’ll tear you apart!” she ordered.

The rats drove Pookar into a corner of the cave. There was already nowhere for Pookar to move back. When one of the rats rushed at him, Pookar sat down and the rat ran into a mirror. The glass cracked and crumbled, forcing the rat to jump away. Pookar saw behind the mirror an ancient secret door, of which the Miseries themselves likely did not know. It was small and low. The Miseries’ daughter, directing the rats at Pookar, noticed nothing.

After the first rat, the second rat rushed at Pookar. It was ready to tear him apart, but at the last second, the Miseries’ daughter grabbed the rat’s tail and threw it into the cage. “I’m tired of this game! What’s the sense of losing the toy so quickly?” she said.

She seized Pookar, tied him to a stick driven into the ground, and began to spread wood around him. “Let’s play cook and chicken! Eight guesses, who’ll be the chicken?”

However, Pookar was lucky. When the torturer was about to set the wood on fire, the adult Miseries called her. “Finish playing later, dear! We need to get rid of the warrior and the pests. They’ve managed to wake Sviatozar. The bats brought us this bad news. Doesn’t matter, Sviatozar hasn’t long to live!”







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The Miseries’ daughter left Pookar tied to the stick and left. Pookar tugged at the ropes. They would not yield! She had bound him tightly.

“How do I disentangle myself? Otherwise, I’m like a spool of thread,” Pookar thought. Suddenly he remembered that a penknife was hidden in one of his pockets. He felt the reassuring weight of the knife through the fabric but could not reach it with his hands bound. If he could only reach the pocket, as his soft cotton arms could bend in all directions.

Pookar tried to rip his pocket but could not. Olga had sewn the pocket very conscientiously. “Nothing but harm from this doll! She couldn’t be careless once in her life! I will perish now because of her,” he said, annoyed.

Fortunately, Pookar found a small hole in the fabric. He recalled that a few days ago, still in Moscow, he had brushed against a nail and was too lazy to sew. “And it’s good that I was lazy!” he thought gladly. “If not for this hole, I would’ve died. Olga would’ve been to blame for everything – she sewed the pocket too industriously with thick thread!”

Pookar expanded the hole, pulled out the penknife, and cut the rope. Freed, he hurried to the Cave of Horrors. The oak door was closed and bolted. Pookar moved it aside with considerable difficulty.

“Quick, Masha! Come out!” Pookar shouted. No one answered him. Silence. The ceiling hung above the floor, almost resting on the long rusty spikes. “Masha, where are you?” he whispered in terror.

Here is what happened to Masha.“I don’t believe that one can die in Fairyland!” Masha repeated, but the

ceiling with spikes sank lower and lower.While staring, Masha noticed that the spikes were placed unevenly on

the ceiling. They were meant for an adult person or a large animal. There were wide gaps between the individual spikes. Masha huddled in one of these gaps. Only in this way did she manage to avoid certain death.

On hearing a voice calling her, Masha decided that this was the Miseries checking whether she had survived, and she remained silent. By chance, however, she saw Pookar’s little legs and, squeezing through between the spikes, crawled out of the Cave of Horrors. She had barely done this when the rock loudly hit the floor, crushing the old bones into powder and breaking the spikes. Deprived of its catch, the cave destroyed itself in vexation.

“Pookar! You saved me!” Masha picked up her little rescuer and showered him with kisses.







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“Only not on the ear! I’m ticklish!” Pookar got away. “There’re more secret corridors here than holes in a sieve. There behind a broken mirror is

a strange door. I found it when I fought with the rats.”

“You fought with rats?” Masha was horrified.

Pookar nodded carelessly. “It is true. Thirty, no, forty rats attacked me. Of course, I beat them all. None left alive.”

“Pookar, you’re a hero!”“Oh, baby! Don’t mention it! Only

doing my job!” Pookar acknowledged, beaming with pride. Masha began to think from which cartoon Pookar had taken this heroic phrase.

Masha and Pookar carefully stepped over the sharp edges of the broken mirror and went to the door. It was covered with unknown characters.

“Oho! Look, how old! One might think that it’s older than these mountains!” Masha wondered.

Unexpectedly, the door yielded easily, not even creaking. The friends stepped into a dark corridor. Narrow stairs without railings led upstairs. Masha and Pookar started to ascend.







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Chapter TwentyTHE BATTLE

“They’ll tip us over into the water!” the doll Olga exclaimed. Another lump cut into the waves of the river and drenched the travellers

with a stream of coloured water.“Look, it’s the bats! ” Scholarchkin shouted.Dark swift shadows swept over the river and dropped stones, which they

were carrying in their claws. The water foamed from the impact. The bats let out sharp triumphant cries when the stones hit the raft. Several hundred bats were dragging in their claws a large boulder similar to the one that almost overturned the raft a minute ago. They flew through the air precisely above the middle of the raft, threatening to turn it over. With all his strength, the hero Sviatozar struck the boulder with the club and repelled it.

However, the rock shattered into fragments from the impact. One of these slivers scratched Alenushka’s cheek. “Ouch!” she exclaimed and pressed her hand to her face, and when she took it off, a drop of blood reddened her palm.

The bats circled over the river, dumping all sorts of new stones.“Hold on!” The young dragon Flamy soared and, letting out long

tongues of flame, forced his way into the cloud of bats. The bats hissed with hatred but did not dare to attack.

After several jets of fire, the cloud of bats thinned significantly. Burnt and blinded, the bats hid in the black crevices of the cliff. The leader of the bats sneaked up to Flamy from behind and tried to seize him by the neck with iron claws, but the young dragon turned his head during flight and seared it. The bat squealed and rushed off at full speed, hitting against the arches of the cave.

“Flamy! You won!” Muffin yelled from the raft. Flamy did not hear her. Warmed up, he pursued the bat leader and disappeared from sight.

It turned out that the friends rejoiced too soon. A furry monster with crooked fangs appeared unexpectedly on the shore. The monster flared its red eyes and stared at Sviatozar and the brave travellers.

“The tricks are over! Now I’ll crush you!” Misery growled. He stared at Sviatozar. But what is this? To the monster’s surprise, Sviatozar, protected by the glasses, withstood his evil, bewitching look.







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With the club in his hand, Sviatozar jumped at Misery in the heat of the moment but fell into the water. The raft was too far from shore. While the hero was struggling with the current, Misery uttered a terrible spell.

“Buka, Biaka, and Babai,25

Awake and arise!Buka, Biaka, and Babai,Open all sties! And from there, Buka, Biaka,Let out the Raskoriaka,26

So that this RaskoriakaTogether with Buka and Biaka,The water would sour and roil,And it Babai would boil.”

Misery had barely finished casting the spell when a strong wind developed. The waves began to sweep over the raft. A violent storm broke out on the river. All seven colourful streams merged into one, menacing and swift. The water boiled and raged. The talking raft could overturn at any moment. The doll Olga, Scholarchkin, Meown, and Muffin huddled together, trembling in horror. It seemed nothing would save them. The raft was sucked into a huge whirlpool.

“Can I, so young, fluffy, and beautiful, really die?” Muffin asked Meown incredulously.

“In theory, yes,” Meown replied with an air of importance, sounding exactly like the gnome Scholarchkin.

“If we’re going to perish anyway, admit it. Have you ever loved me?”“Sometimes,” Meown answered cautiously.“But at least more than fried fish?”“Nothing compares to you!” Meown assured her. Again it was not clear

what he actually had in mind.“Raft! All hope is on you. Float to the shore!” Alenushka whispered.She leaned down over the water and whispered a simple good spell.

“Overcome fear we must. Forces of evil scatter in the dust! ”

25 Buka, Biaka, and Babai all refer to some sort of bogeyman in Slavic languages.26 The Russian word raskoriaka means a bow-legged or clumsy person.







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A miracle happened. Creaking, the old raft straightened and, swept by the waves, started to dock. Sviatozar caught hold of it and did not let the river carry him into the whirlpool. While the raft was floating to shore, Misery picked up a rock fragment from the ground and wanted to hurl it at Sviatozar. However, Rainbow River, taking pity on the hero, picked up the raft and threw it onto shore. The boulder thrown by the monster only drenched Sviatozar with a shower of sprays.

Misery did not have time to pick up a new stone. Sviatozar rushed at him with his club raised over his head. Misery grabbed a two-handled black sword, which was hidden in the reeds, and the battle began. Alenushka, Olga, Scholarchkin, and the cats Muffin and Meown anxiously watched the battle, on which their lives depended.

Sviatozar deftly beat off Misery’s blows with the club. However, the monster’s sword chipped a little off the hero’s club each time. Soon Sviatozar’s club was completely hacked to pieces and not suitable for battle.

Throwing away the useless weapon, Sviatozar jumped onto Misery and they rolled on the ground, squeezing each other tightly, with ribs cracking and chain mail breaking. Missus Misery and her daughter ran out of the Cave of Mirrors and rushed to help Misery. They wanted to tear the glasses off Sviatozar, in order to make him vulnerable to their fiery gaze.

Scholarchkin, the doll Olga, Muffin, Alenushka, and Meown also took part in the battle, though not possessing Sviatozar’s strength. Scholarchkin swung his briefcase, pounding Misery on the forehead, though that one did not notice, squeezing Sviatozar in his steel embrace. The doll Olga was acting prudently, as always. She stole up to the Miseries’ daughter and with a shy look stuck a pin into her leg.

“Ouch!” the Miseries’ daughter howled and tried to bite the doll Olga, but missed and got her mama’s finger instead. Missus Misery, not looking back, kicked her daughter so hard that she flew into the middle of the river and began to blow bubbles indignantly.

Misery pushed Sviatozar aside and stretched his terrible clawed paws out to Alenushka, who used the only weapon which nature gave her. “Ah-ah-ah-ah!” she screamed so piercingly that the monster covered up his ears and jumped back further.

At the same time, Missus Misery pulled the cat Muffin from her hair-do; however, Muffin had clung on firmly and had not wanted to break away at







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all. Meown hissed at the Miseries’ daughter, who was trying to get to shore, and scratched her with all four paws.

Success in battle gradually began to shift to the side of the friends. Sviatozar in anger squeezed Misery so tightly that the monster was breathless. “You’ve lost! Surrender!”

However, here came Missus Misery’s hoarse triumphant laughter. “You’re wrong, Sviatozar! This is your end. Look what bird I caught!”

Missus Misery seized Alenushka and brought a sharp knife up to her neck. On barely noticing this, Sviatozar immediately released Misery. He never doubted for a moment that Missus Misery would kill the girl if he did not do it.













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“You’ve made the right decision! And now bind yourself with this magic rope!” Missus Misery tickled Alenushka with the knife and threw Sviatozar the rope. The hero just touched it and the rope coiled around him from head to toe. Its other end wound around Muffin, the doll Olga, Scholarchkin, and Meown.

Misery kicked Sviatozar. “Stupid nobleness! You already almost won but didn’t want to sacrifice this fool. You really thought that we’d spare her life? Ha-ha! We already finished the girl from the human world, and now it’s your turn.”

Sviatozar flew into a rage trying to break free, but breaking the magic rope was beyond the power of even a hero warrior. The doll Olga started to cry and Muffin’s fur stood on end from anger. “Oh, you fright! Disgusting and evil! No one likes you and no one will marry your daughter! She’s so ugly!” From Muffin, this sounded like the worst insult.

The Miseries’ daughter pulled Muffin by the tail. “No need to get married! I like you, cat! I’ll stuff you or make a scarf out of you.”

In the meantime, Missus Misery lit a small candle. “See this candle? When it burns out, you’ll all die. In the meantime, I’ll go put the cauldron on the fire. Try to guess whose meat we’re having for dinner today?”

Meanwhile, Masha and Pookar made their way through the secret passageway behind the broken mirror. A spiral staircase carved in stone went up.

“Where are we? Do you understand anything, Pookar?” Masha whispered.

“Nothing. Ah-choo! So much dust here! Ah-choo! For the first time in my life I’ve become a supporter of cleanliness!”

An ancient cobweb with a withered spider blocked their way. It disintegrated with one touch.

“It seems that the Miseries didn’t even suspect that there’s a secret door in the Cave of Mirrors. I wonder how many years it’s been since someone was here?” Masha said.

“About five hundred or... Ah-choo!.. a whole thousand!” Pookar could not stop sneezing at all.







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Masha and Pookar had hoped that they would find the exit to the river. However, the staircase led to a small cave carved in the cliff. Although they could see no visible light source close by, it was much brighter in the room than on the stairs. Its interior looked unusually simple. A table, an oak armchair, and a large book with a worn leather cover. The imprint of time was on everything. The oak armchair was cracked and seemed so decrepit that no one would dare sit on it; it could fall apart.

Next to the book lay a small wooden stick, polished to a shine with the touch of somebody’s palm. There was nothing more in the room, only a desk, an armchair, a book, a stick, and the uneven ceiling arches.

“Where do you think we are?” Masha asked Pookar in a whisper.They stood still at the entrance. Nothing prevented them from entering,

but they felt a strange shyness. “Doesn’t it seem to you that here...” Masha looked uncertainly at

Pookar.“...lived the Lonely Wizard, when he went to the mountains,” Pookar

finished for the girl.“But where’s the Wizard now? Could he have left his book and wand

here?” Masha asked. However, her question remained unanswered. The fate of the Lonely Wizard would forever remain a mystery.

Masha approached the Lonely Wizard’s table and, wiping off the dust, put a hand on the book cover. It seemed to her that the leather cover under her hand became warm. Masha jerked back her hand in fear. Pookar and Masha stared fixedly at the book. Suddenly it opened. Time had no effect on its pages. The capital letters were beautiful and ornate, as in ancient manuscripts. The words in the rows did not separate. The pages turned over by themselves and rustled quietly.

“Heed the wisdom of time!” a rhythmical and calm voice suddenly rang out in the cave. Masha looked around in fear. She felt that someone was standing behind her. However, there was no one. The sound was coming from the walls of the cave.

“It is I, Lonely Wizard, speaking to you from the past! Now, in my final hour, the future has been revealed to me. I see all life on Earth from the earliest time to the last. I know that there will come a difficult time in the history of the island of Buyan, and its residents will lock themselves in their homes, fearful of the night. But a girl will come flying on a dragon’s back to the island of Buyan and defeat the Miseries. A girl from the big world! Read the spell on the last page of the book. The storm will subside and the







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Miseries will leave! Do it and you will save your friends from the death threatening them. But beware: you have only one try. If you falter at least once or make a mistake in at least one letter, all will be lost. Your friends will die and the island of Buyan will forever remain under the authority of the Miseries...”

Lonely Wizard’s voice fell silent. The book opened to the last page and Masha saw the spell. It was written as a single word and it was quite difficult to read. Masha froze. She had to gather her strength and calm down. Lonely Wizard’s words were still ringing in her ears, “If you falter at least once or make a mistake in at least one letter, all will be lost.”

“Windcloudstormnightwillnotbeabletohelpit...” Masha’s gaze caught on one of the rows and she was frightened. Oh, no! Is it really possible to read this without mistakes? However, there was no time to be afraid. Masha started to read the spell slowly. She had to focus to disassemble the connected words and not make a mistake.

“The force of evil is not forever,It is possible to conquer.Wind, cloud, storm, night will not be able to help it.The good force of battle from everywhere will chase it.With the golden sword of fireWill triumph the day’s glimmer!”

Masha had barely uttered the spell when the letters in the magic book became blurred. But Masha was not certain that she had made no mistakes, that she had not messed up or missed anything.

Although the letters of the spell had disappeared, nothing more happened. All the things in the cave remained in their places. Nothing betrayed the presence of magical power.

“Perhaps we did something wrong?” Masha suggested timidly.“Look!” Pookar pointed to the wall across from Lonely Wizard’s table. A

passage slowly opened. The solid stone cracked. A bright light unexpectedly shone through the crack. A golden sword lay in the narrow rocky niche.

“Wow! What a glorious sabre!” Pookar ran to the sword and tried to grab it by the hilt, but he got burnt and blew on his fingers.

“Here’s a scabbard! Let’s try to take them!” Masha said, looking closer. She had barely touched the scabbard when the golden sword jumped into it







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and rang with impatience. Masha and Pookar looked again from the threshold at Lonely Wizard’s retreat and started down the stairs...

When the Miseries captured Sviatozar, Scholarchkin, Alenushka, the doll Olga, Meown, and Muffin, Flamy was chasing the bats. He returned only when he understood that the cowardly bats did not intend to attack anymore. From a distance, he saw his friends, tied up on the shore of the raging river.

Misery guarded the prisoners. Missus Misery was in the cave, finishing preparation for dinner. She readied the sharp knives and hooks for flaying meat. Her daughter was making a fire. Realizing that he could not manage all the Miseries alone, Flamy hid and began to think about how to help his friends.

After waiting until the monster went further away, Flamy became invisible, sneaked up to the tied-up companions, and whispered, “Don’t be scared, it’s me, Flamy! I’ll help you!”

The doll Olga shrieked in surprise, “You came!”Misery heard the noise. “Who else came?” he asked suspiciously.“Your conscience came!” Meown said.“Co-on-science?” Misery drawled. “Don’t hold your breath!”When Misery turned away, Flamy tried to untie the rope with his teeth,

but nothing came of it. He even turned into a pair of scissors but still could not overcome the magic fetters. The Miseries’ rope was enchanted. The knot in no way wanted to yield.

“I’ll definitely come up with how to help you! Be patient!” Flamy promised.

The candle had burned down. Misery picked the sword up off the ground and touched the blade with his finger in a business-like manner. “Flick and ready! You can decide for a little while, who will die first!” He showed his fangs.

“Kill me, but spare them. They’re kids!” Sviatozar requested.Misery stared at him with small eyes. “I’m touched! The love of children

has always been my weak point. So be it: you’ll die first! Farewell to the warrior!” Misery swung the sword and...







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“Wait! Not everything is ready! Better to cook meat fresh! Come, help with the fire!” Flamy yelled in Missus Misery’s voice.

Misery lowered his sword. “You’re lucky that I’m a model family man! If I don’t listen to the wife, she’ll – ha-ha! – cook me!”

Misery left and Flamy tried to burn through the rope. Useless. Fire also did not work on it, just as teeth had not worked earlier.

“Meown! Do you have anything to say to me? It’s very likely that we’re going to die soon,” Muffin purred.

“Look at this from the other angle! Let’s suppose I tell you what you want but maybe we won’t die! Then I’ll regret that I blathered something unnecessarily!” the cat Meown replied.

“Yes, we’re going to die! Say it!” Muffin insisted.“I won’t! Meoow!”“But I say yes! Meooow!”“You caterwaul here as under windows in spring! Quiet! Misery will

hear! Better roll behind the stones! Hide!” Flamy got mad.The golden sword pointed Masha and Pookar to the shortest way to the

friends. It jumped out of its scabbard and cut the rocks as easily as butter. The smart sword led Masha and Pookar through a bypass of the Cave of Mirrors, where the Miseries were boss. Soon they were already at the river.

“Flamy! Olga! Alenushka! Where are you?” Masha called.Flamy’s head popped out from behind the nearest boulder. “Masha!

Pookar! You’re alive? The Miseries bragged that not even a wet spot was left of you.”

“These Miseries are just inept. They don’t complete anything,” said Pookar. He peeped behind the boulder and saw Sviatozar, Alenushka, Olga, and the others. “What are we doing? Playing hide and seek?” he asked.

The golden sword cut through the Miseries’ bewitched rope with one light touch and jumped into Sviatozar’s hand. “Lonely Wizard’s sword! Where did you get it?” the delighted hero warrior exclaimed.







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“We found Lonely Wizard’s retreat in the mountains! And his book with spells! We’ll tell you everything later, but now we have to hurry! The Miseries’ sorcery must be destroyed!” Masha said hastily.

Sviatozar raised the sword above his head and turned to face the raging river. At that very moment the storm subsided. The wind had stopped tearing the multicoloured foam into shreds. The river as before separated into seven streams. Its stirred-up water assumed clarity. An unusual silence set in.

Suspecting something was wrong, the monsters jumped out of the cave. Misery had the black sword in his hands, Missus Misery had a flaming bough, and their daughter had several large stones. On seeing that Sviatozar was free and Masha was alive, Misery gritted his teeth. His red eyes flickered. He uttered a terrible spell. However, his magic had lost power. However much Misery tried, it was to no avail. Rock vaults did not fall down on the heads of the friends, the river did not burst its banks, and the ground did not gape under their feet. Even the Miseries’ looks, deadly dangerous earlier, could hurt nobody now. The magic of Lonely Wizard, who lived a thousand years ago, was now stronger than the monsters’ sorcery.

On seeing the golden sword, the Miseries recoiled for a second. Fear was reflected in their evil faces.

“Why didn’t I finish you off earlier? Yet, its still not too late to do it now!” Misery roared, rushing at Sviatozar.

The golden sword and the black sword clashed. Sparks flew in all directions. Misery and Sviatozar fought, putting all their strength into the blows. The outcome of the battle was not clear for a long time. But then Misery’s black sword broke at the hilt. Crack! Sviatozar placed the edge of the golden sword against Misery’s throat.

“Don’t kill me! I surrender! We all surrender!” the monster growled.Sviatozar tied up the Miseries with their own rope, which grew together

right away, having been shown a new prey. The monsters gnashed their teeth. Their red eyes burned with hatred.

Sviatozar picked up his helmet, dropped during the battle, and, scooping up water from the river, drank. “Whew! This victory didn’t come easily! I’d be dead without the golden sword... Thank you! You saved me twice: from the endless sleep under the waterfall and now, when you brought the golden sword,” he said to the friends.

Pookar pulled up his pants. “Nonsense! No need for thanks! We’re used to feats. We’re terribly heroic!”







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Alenushka looked uneasily at the Miseries, “How do we deal with them? We can’t leave them in Fairyland. They’ll go back to their old tricks. To shut them up in the dungeon is too harsh. Once showing revenge, we become no better than the Miseries. And they can escape...”

“Wait! Something’s written on the golden sword! I saw this back in the cave but didn’t have time to read.” Masha looked at the blade of the sword shining in Sviatozar’s hands.

“Aha!” Alenushka beamed, after barely glancing at the inscription. “Lonely Wizard knew everything in advance. Here’s the spell that allows us to send the Miseries many millions of years into the past. It opens the door of time!”

“A remarkable idea! They won’t be able to harm Fairyland from the past,” Sviatozar approved.

Alenushka outlined a circle around the Miseries with the sword and, looking at the blade, read,

“Hey, blizzard, blizzard,Icy carousel!You blow, whirl, and snow,The Miseries in a ring you hold!You know you are the one and onlyPassage to the time of another!A passage with neither walls nor floor.We are here, the Miseries there. Let them live in the time of yore.And now, blizzard, blizzard,Forever close the door!”

Alenushka had barely finished reading when a bright light appeared in the cave, and strange things began to happen inside the circle, where the Miseries were. Blurred images appeared and disappeared. First appeared a tree, then the sea, a green meadow, a cliff, then loamy ravines. Time reversed and pictures of long ago, visible and distinct, appeared. Then the Miseries disappeared. The flicking circle faded.

“That’s all! They’re in the past. Millions of years separate us!” Alenushka exhaled with relief.







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“And they won’t be able to harm anyone there in the past? It won’t turn out that we’ve played a dirty trick on our great-grandmas and great-grandpas?” Masha suddenly began to worry.

Scholarchkin flipped through his notebook. “I don’t think so. Dinosaurs lived on Earth millions of years ago. And they’re so huge that they can stand up for themselves.”

Suddenly Pookar laughed.“What’s with you?” Scholarchkin asked, puzzled. “I suddenly remembered that... that dinosaurs became extinct. And I

think I know why.”







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Chapter Twenty-OneTHE RETURN TO THE ENCHANTED VALLEY

Having defeated the Miseries, the friends sat down on the raft and set off along the river to Enchanted Valley. Two ways led there: the first through the maze and the mountains, the second – the river.

“It’s safer along the river. I’ve had enough of mountains and mazes,” the doll Olga declared.

“You forgot about the waterfall! How do we get over it?” Alenushka started to worry.

“I’ve come up with something!” Scholarchkin showed the drawing in his notebook.

“What are the magic marks?” Sviatozar wondered.“A sketch of a parachute. We take the magic tablecloth, sew it into a

parachute, tie it to the raft, and go down the waterfall,” Scholarchkin explained.

“You’re sure that it’ll work?” The cat Muffin was uneasy. She remembered the enormous height of the waterfall and the sharp rocks below.

“Theoretically it should work. Although, of course, any experiment involves certain risks,” the gnome calmed her.

While they were floating, Alenushka and Scholarchkin spread out the magic tablecloth and cast the magnifying spell so that it became bigger. Scholarchkin took scissors out of his briefcase and, before anyone managed to stop him, quickly reshaped the tablecloth, giving it the shape necessary for a parachute.

“What’ll we tell Baba-Yaga? You’ve damaged her best tablecloth!” the cat Meown was frightened.

“If my experiment fails, we’ll already no longer tell her anything! In general, it’s trivial! Science demands sacrifice!” The gnome brushed it aside.

“But not human! I agree to go through the maze!” The doll Olga waved her hands.

However, it was already too late to change anything. The raft had been carried to the edge of the waterfall. Before slipping into the abyss, the raft froze for a moment on the edge, and rushed down from the monstrous height. Everyone, even Sviatozar, closed his eyes.







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“Start the count! Three, two... No, not like that. Three on a hair, three on a thread, the thread breaks, two. Two on a hair, two on a thread, the thread breaks...” Scholarchkin began to chant.

The sharp rocks at the bottom came closer and closer. “Faster, gnome, faster!” Alenushka and Masha shouted.

“I can’t work when I’m rushed! Now I’ve lost count because of you! I have to start over again! Two on a hair, two on a thread...” Scholarchkin got upset.

The wind whistled in their ears. The hearts of the travellers froze in horror. Scholarchkin lovingly tinkered with the parachute, humming something to himself. Suddenly, Masha felt a strong jolt and a cloth dome opened above the raft. It tugged hard at the raft. The rate of fall slowed but the rocks were still approaching too quickly.

“Did I really make a mistake in the calculations? Can’t be.” Scholarchkin started to worry.

At the last moment, the raft managed to slow down and gently levelled out on the water. While it was falling, the wind carried it away from the cliff. The waterfall was left behind.

The travellers opened their eyes. “Scholarchkin, you’re a lunatic!”

“Nothing of the kind! I’m a genius, although it’s one and the same!” the gnome protested.

After they passed the waterfall, the main difficulties were behind them. Although the Rainbow River changed direction time and again, skirting mountains and rocky shores, the raft miraculously managed to stay in the middle of the river. The water raged and doused the travellers with yellow, red, green, and blue sprays.







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“My dress has become very colourful! How am I to wash it out now? I’m not walking around speckled like a slob!” the doll Olga complained.

“Look at things simpler! We’ll rub it down somehow with kerosene. True, it’ll smell oho-ho, but it’s not the worst thing!” Pookar consoled her. Imagining how her dress would reek if Pookar rubbed it with kerosene, Olga almost burst into tears.

“Don’t worry!” Alenushka laughed. “When the water dries, the spots will disappear. Indeed, it’s a magic river and unpolluted. The water here is curative. When someone here is sick, we drink the water! Blue for a chill, red for a runny nose, yellow for a sore throat, and orange for rheumatic pain.”

“Which colour of water for ARD?”27 Masha asked. Every winter she would catch pneumonia and sit at home for weeks.

“Don’t know. First time I’ve heard of the disease.” Alenushka was at a loss.

“That’s just it,” Pookar stated graciously. “Your fabulous medicine hasn’t even come up with ARD yet. What’s there to say about such serious diseases as CAS?”

“What’s CAS? What are you implying?” The cat Muffin stared suspiciously at Pookar.

Pookar threw up his hands. “You stupid, oh, stupid! You don’t know about CAS! CAS is Cough and Snort. Scary nasty disease! Only I don’t catch it!”

“What do we do with you, quilted fool!” Olga said.Masha took a bottle out of her bag and filled it with water from the river

for drinking in winter if she caught a cold. She was a prudent girl and always loved to have everything at hand when needed.

Sailing on the river was pleasant. The multicoloured water shone and sparkled around the raft. It gently rocked and lulled the raft. The walls of the underground cave widened and narrowed, separating first way up in the air, then along the breadth. Yellow and red fishes played in the water. They were smart and did not swim close to Muffin or Meown, although those two invited them to chat about this and that.

They sailed for a long time. The talking raft did not rush and sometimes even moored to show the travellers something interesting. For example, rock paintings.

27 ARD stands for Acute Respiratory Distress syndrome, usually an infection of the lungs.







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“‘Look there! Don’t look here!’ Not enough to arrange a boring tour for us!” Pookar grumbled, having once gone with Masha on a bus tour through the streets of Moscow and almost burst with boredom.

In fact, Pookar only had time to say this before the raft, long restraining itself, started talking in a lively wooden voice. “Respected travellers! Look to the left along the course of motion! We’re floating past the so-called Big Cave located in the central part of the rocky ridge of Lifeless Mountains. It stretches to the south for more than ten kilometres. The height of the ceiling in some places reaches thirty-two metres. The depth of the river ranges from three to four metres. The flow rate is five kilometres per hour.”

Scholarchkin’s eyes flared up and he grabbed his notebook. Masha, Flamy, and Pookar yawned in turn. For some reason it always happens this way: if one yawns, the rest will yawn after him.

“Dear raft! We’re extremely tired and want to sleep,” said Masha.“Why didn’t you say so? I’ll sing you a lullaby!” The raft was delighted

and squeaked, “Lullaby and good night...”There was nothing to do but to endure. To swear at the raft carrying

them? The travellers arranged themselves more comfortably, placed under their heads the magic tablecloth suffering from Scholarchkin’s activity, and fell asleep to the creak of the raft and the splash of the river.

Rainbow River carried the raft all night and brought it out to a plain in the morning. Masha awoke and saw patches of sun and the crowns of trees spreading out in the water. “We’re in Enchanted Valley! Flamy, Olga, get up quick!” Masha shouted, pushing her friends.

“I intentionally floated slowly! You were sleeping so sweetly,” said the raft, approaching the shore.

“Thank you, dear raft!” Masha said.The sun was already high. The delicate voice of a young nightingale

developed in the branches of a tree bent to the water. “You sang out of tune again. Take it higher! Cry loudly! So, ‘Warble-tweet-tweet-tweet!’ How much can one teach you?” The tree taught it.

The cat Muffin stretched, washed herself, groomed her fur, and, only when finished, admired Enchanted Valley. “How poetic! Yesterday we were there, and today we are already here! Question: where will we be tomorrow?” she said with a thoughtful air. Then Muffin as if recalling something, looked around, and jogged in the direction of Talking Forest.

“Where are you going, Muffy?” Meown was curious.







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“There are questions which a woman doesn’t answer!” Muffin shouted, disappearing into the bushes.

The first thing the doll Olga did upon waking up was to check whether the colour stains on her dress had disappeared. On seeing that there were no spots, Olga sighed with relief, “I dreamt that my dress was left so spotty. It was just a nightmare! Good morning, Masha! Good morning, Alenushka! Good morning, Pookar!”

“Good, good!” Pookar mimicked, smoothing his red curls with his palm. “Any fool can see that it isn’t bad. No need to say everything you think, stupid doll!”

“You just watch what you say!” Olga took offence.Flamy went into the water for a swim. He snorted, splashed, dived, and

once did not surface for so long that Masha was scared. Then it turned out that Flamy had hid in the reeds. Alenushka, having barely woken up, hurried to Ivanushka.

“How is he there without me? Has he been languishing?” Alenushka ran through Talking Forest to the cabin, where her brother Ivanushka was waiting for her. She wanted to surprise her brother, but the chatty trees beat her to it. Ivanushka was already hurrying along the path to meet Alenushka. He hugged his sister tightly so that no one would take her away again.

The hero Sviatozar also made up his mind to go. He had many friends in the forest. “Good-bye! We’ll meet again!” he shouted in farewell.

On the way to Dragon Mountain, the friends looked into the Hut on Chicken Legs. Baba-Yaga was up early. She had been digging in the garden since dawn and making noise with the pots. On seeing the cat Meown, Baba-Yaga grumbled, “You’ve returned, useless kitty! Hungry, I suppose?”

Although Baba Yaga grumbled, it was felt that she was pleased with the cat’s return. Meown snuggled up to Baba-Yaga, but was already looking askance with one eye in the direction of his bowl.

Muffin coughed. “Ahem! Don’t you want to share with me?” Sly Meown pretended to be interested in the butterfly fluttering nearby and did not hear her.

“Not inviting me?” Muffin repeated quite loudly.Seeing that he could not wriggle out of it, Meown sighed despondently,

“Only don’t eat it all!”Masha, Flamy, and the doll Olga went up to Baba-Yaga.







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“I saw all your adventures! It’s very likely the entire forest stared at the saucer with me! They were very worn out from the many emotional experience. Some even fainted. Tonight we’re having a feast, songs and dances. We’ll make merry all night. Now that night and day aren’t scary! Go, I don’t want you!” the old woman said.

Flamy shifted from paw to paw. He was eager to make Mama and Grandpa Gorynych happy. Not restraining himself, the young dragon set Scholarchkin, the doll Olga, and Pookar on his own back and flew to the dragon cave. Masha could hardly keep pace with him.


Flamy ordered, and the mountain moved aside. He quickly ran along the stairs. Grandpa Gorynych was napping on the couch in the living room. One of his heads was snoring gently and the other was snuffling. Flamy froze on the threshold, looking at Grandpa. He caught his breath, as if from strong pepper. One of Gorynych’s heads woke up, saw Flamy, gasped, and woke up the other head. The dragons, big and small, rubbed each other with their noses, and delightedly began to circle the living room so fast that they almost broke all the furniture. Hearing the noise, Mama Dragon ran in.

“Mama!”“Flamy!”It is impossible to describe what happened! Masha clung to the wall,

while Pookar and Olga hid under the table, because the whole room was literally full of enthusiastic dragons, flapping their wings and whistling in happiness, almost bringing down the walls.

Finally, the dragons quieted down somewhat and were calm. Recalling that the guests had not had breakfast, Mama Dragon began to bustle about







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and instantly covered a huge winged table. Masha, Flamy, and the dolls climbed onto flying armchairs and soared up to the ceiling.

“Oho-ho! Oho-ho! I haven’t treated myself for a long time!” Pookar shouted enthusiastically, grabbing a plate with sweet cakes.

“Stop! Wait until everyone is seated at the table. Act like a decent person!” Olga pushed him.

“Don’t call names! You yourself are a person! Anyway, where have you seen decent people dining on the ceiling?” Pookar took offence.







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Chapter Twenty-TwoMISFIT GOES TO THE THEATRE

On the same day and at the same hour when the travellers were sailing Rainbow River after the victory over the Miseries, Pirozhkov invited Misfit and Avdokhina to the Children’s Theatre. Masha’s parents had not yet returned from St. Petersburg and Misfit was living with the neighbour downstairs.

Since morning, Avdokhina had managed to visit the hairdresser. She was behaving abnormally: nervous one moment, laughing the next, and was not the usual pain in the neck to Misfit.

“And why is she so dying to go to the theatre? I never thought that Avdokhina was such a theatre-lover!” Misfit wondered.

However, for all that Avdokhina remained the same, and when Misfit, out of curiosity, put on lipstick she had found on the dressing table, Avdokhina was terribly angry. “You’re still too young to use lipstick. Take a napkin and wipe it off!”

“But when will I be able to wear makeup?” Misfit asked.“When you’re older!”“And when will I be older? When I’m a hundred years old like you?”

Misfit was curious. Avdokhina did not hear her. She was fastening a brooch to her dress.

“Nice to be an adult!” Misfit dreamed. “Make-up even to the ears and no one will say anything. But a child can’t do anything. Can’t throw flowerpots out the window, can’t draw on wallpaper with a marker, can’t flood the floor and launch a boat. It’s not life, but a sheer lack of rights!”

The performance began at two o’clock. At precisely half past one, Pirozhkov in a white summer suit picked up Avdokhina and Misfit. He had grown a beard for a long time for pomposity, a little goatee, but very presentable. The beard grew, grew thicker, and fit into the image of Prince Pirozhevskii, making him look like a retired skipper.

“Are you ready for a cultural outing, dear Antonina Petrovna? Then we can go!” Pirozhkov let Misfit and Avdokhina through to the elevator.

“How are we getting to the theatre?” Misfit asked.“The subway, how else? Not by taxi!” Pirozhkov was sincerely surprised.“The subway?”Misfit forgot that Masha, for whom she was substituting, knew very well

what the subway was. Fortunately, Pirozhkov and Avdokhina paid no







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attention to the girl’s strange words. Not having their own children, both genuinely believed that children were allowed to ask stupid questions and do unpredictable things.

On the way, Pirozhkov and Avdokhina started a boring, very adult conversation about pensions and prices. At first Misfit, according to her habit of fitting in, tried to take part in it, but she was soon distracted and started jumping on the sidewalk tiles.

The subway amazed Misfit less than she had expected. The dragon cave was also underground and there was nothing particularly exciting about the rumbling trains disappearing into the tunnels. Misfit had seen a lot of magic on the island of Buyan, and in comparison, the subway seemed a very ordinary miracle. The girl dragon liked the moving stairs most of all.

“What’s this smart set of stairs?” Misfit tugged Pirozhkov’s sleeve. “Didn’t your parents tell you? An escalator!” Pirozhkov started a boring

explanation about electricity and horses sitting somewhere in the engine, but Misfit did not listen to the end. She deftly jumped off the last step and stared at the glass booth, in which sat the female stationmaster on duty.

“Why is a woman in the booth? Who is she? The grandma on watch? Is she looking out so that no one will steal the self-moving stairs? How many kilos of gold does she get in a day?” Misfit did not manage to find out about the grandma on watch because she immediately had another question. “Why do the doors on the train open? Who says, ‘Open gate with a key-lock, and a golden kerchief’?”

Pirozhkov completely drowned in the stream of childish curiosity and did not know what to answer, but then Misfit saw something that interested and distracted her.

At Mayakovskaya Station, three identical old women entered the train. In the arms of each old woman was a fat white lapdog. “Woof! Woof!” the lapdogs barked. “Hush!” the old women quieted them. Misfit looked nonplussed from one old woman to the other. Extreme bewilderment was reflected on her face. Finally, she could not restrain herself, approached them, and asked, “Please excuse me for bothering you! Could you please tell me which of you is real?”

“Real? What a funny girl!” The women roared with laughter and the lapdogs started to yelp. Misfit wanted to chat more with the old women but the train stopped. “Theatre Station,” a mechanical voice announced.

“Here we are! We have to get off!” Pirozhkov and Avdokhina hurried her.







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Misfit waved to the identical old women. The lapdogs wagged their tails.“What nice old women! Perhaps, even princesses. The nobility of it, you

know, makes itself felt,” Pirozhkov said to Avdokhina.Avdokhina, who also wanted to be counted among the aristocracy,

carefully assented. As soon as they got out of the subway, Misfit immediately reached out to the ice-cream kiosk.

“Not now! We’re late!” Pirozhkov said quickly.He likely exaggerated somewhat here. The Children’s Theatre was quite

close to the subway and they arrived even earlier than required. For the remaining half hour, Pirozhkov guided Avdokhina and Misfit around the Central Department Store28 to keep them far away from all temptations like the theatre buffet and ice-cream kiosks.

“And what is the theatre?” Misfit tried to find out from Avdokhina.“The theatre?” Avdokhina repeated the question absent-mindedly.

“Don’t you know? The theatre is the sphere of culture. A store, so to speak, is the sphere of art, but the theatre is the sphere of culture.”

“On the theatrical stage, performances having serious educational significance with socially useful morals are demonstrated,” Prince Pirozhevskii added with an air of importance.

Misfit was inspired. “And what shall I do in the theatre?” she wanted to know. The young girl dragon did not want to make any blunder during the performance.

“In the theatre? In the theatre... uh... watch and draw the right conclusions. And then, act according to these conclusions,” Pirozhkov said, slightly disconcerted.

Closer to the beginning of the performance, Misfit, Avdokhina, and Pirozhkov entered the theatre and took their seats. Misfit turned her head in all directions. She was interested in everything. However, the lights finally went out. The music began. The curtain moved to the side. The spotlight highlighted the stage. Misfit gasped, “How beautiful!”

“Shh! Don’t make a noise! Admire silently! Don’t prevent those around us from admiring!” Avdokhina admonished her.

Some time later three little pigs appeared on the stage, built houses, and began to sing a little song,

28 The Central Universal Department Store is one of the most famous department stores in Moscow and the largest fashion department store in Eastern Europe, a fashionable and trendy place.







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“We are not afraid of the big bad wolf,The big bad wolf, the big bad wolf!Where are you going, stupid wolf,Old wolf, scary wolf?”

The wolf, a paunchy middle-aged actor, did not keep himself waiting and hid on the stage so close to the pigs that it was even ridiculous how they did not notice him. They probably had problems with their brains.

“We are not afraid of the big bad wolf!” the piglets sang, getting unnoticeably closer and closer to the wolf.

Misfit began to fret. It seemed that the situation was becoming grave.“I am an expert in piglets!” The wolf licked his lips and jumped at the

poor things.The piglets barely had time to hide in their own houses. However, a

house of straw certainly could not stand the wolf’s force. Terror froze on a piglet’s face.

“Save me! Someone save me!” the piglet yelled, breaking into tears.On hearing a plea for help, Misfit drew the definitive and irrevocable

conclusion. She darted from her seat and shouted, “Hold on, piggy! I’ll help you!”







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Avdokhina did not manage to hold her back. Misfit had already climbed onto the stage. The wolf stared at her in alarm. He had fought with the piglets in more than a dozen performances, but no one had ever come to their defence. Misfit slipped through the window of the straw house and yelled at the astonished piglet, “Well, what are you waiting for, stupid pig? To be eaten?”

The piggy backed away. Wasting no time, Misfit leaned her weight on the door, so as not to let the wolf enter. The bewildered wolf babbled, “Girl, take it easy! Return to the audience! If I eat him, I’m only pretending!”

“Not so bad for pretending! Not likely! You think I don’t know how to pretend to eat!” Misfit replied.







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The audience, thinking that everything had been planned from the very beginning, exploded with applause. Some impressionable young members of the audience also wanted to protect the piggy, and one boy even threw his mother’s handbag at the wolf, but later they could not find it.

Pirozhkov ran to the stage to drag Misfit off it, but she interpreted his action quite differently. She decided he was going to help her deal with the wolf. “Well done, Prince! Challenge the wolf to a duel! Spill his guts! Fear not, little pig, now you’ll be saved!”

However, Prince Pirozhevskii dashed Misfit’s hopes. Instead of challenging the wolf to a duel, he ran up to Misfit, swept her up in his arms, and raced to the theatre exit. Pirozhkov was even amazed at how heavy a seven-year-old girl could be.

“Piggy, we’ve been betrayed! The Prince is in league with the wolf! Run, piggy, run!” Misfit yelled.

An out-of-breath Avdokhina joined Pirozhkov and Misfit on the street. “You’re out of your mind! Who taught you such nonsense?” she attacked Misfit.

Misfit silently and angrily poked a forefinger in Pirozhkov’s chest. “He did!”

“How did he?” Avdokhina was at a loss.“Who said, ‘Watch the performance, draw the right conclusions, and act

according to these conclusions’? So I acted. And you? How could you leave the piggy in trouble, Prince?”

Misfit pouted and turned away from Pirozhkov. He clutched his head in his hands. “That’s it, enough! I understand nothing! Bring up your own children! I refuse! Absolutely refuse!”

“Please stop!” Avdokhina calmed Pirozhkov. “She’s just very impressionable and a nervous child. She lacks vitamins. Why don’t we buy her bananas or oranges?”

Pirozhkov recoiled in fear. “Buy? Not for the world! Better kill me now!”







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Chapter Twenty-ThreeA SUMPTUOUS FEAST

“Residents of Fairyland! Bugs and cockroaches, fussbudgets and slobs, bears and elks, welcome to all! We invite you to a feast for the whole world! Come yourself, bring friends, bring children!” the trees and shrubs of the Talking Forest repeated.

By evening, all residents of Fairyland without exception started to flow, crawl, and walk to gather in the Enchanted Valley. It goes without saying, the guests were also invited. How could it be otherwise, if they were the real heroes, the saviours of the island of Buyan?

“Oh! I’ve not one decent dress!” Olga exclaimed, on finding out about the invitation.

“Lie to the hilt! You’ve a suitcase full of all kinds of rags!” Pookar silenced her.

“You understand nothing, so keep quiet! Not a single evening gown among my dresses!” Olga stamped her feet and almost burst into tears. No one had seen Olga in this state before except that once, when the cat Muffin grazed the curtains in Olga’s little house with her claws. Even Masha, though not expressing her feelings so openly, looked upset.

Although Mama Dragon did not wear dresses, she was able to understand the cause of the girls’ suffering and advised them to turn to Draquito.

“Draquito? Who’s that?” Masha was surprised.“A hybrid of a dragonfly and a mosquito. The best tailor in Fairyland. He

dresses all the local Cinderellas and they marry princes. Draquito turns any barrel into a masterpiece.”

“I’m not a barrel! I have a beautiful figure!” For some reason the doll Olga was offended, although no one had her in mind.

“I would like a white dress!” Masha became embarrassed.“A new red cap for me,” said Scholarchkin.“Waterproof pants for us...” the bunnies Sineus and Truvor asked

timidly.Draquito lived in a cosy burrow under the roots of an old oak. “Glad to

see you! What clothes shall I sew for you?” he welcomed the guests.







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Draquito was like a dragonfly with huge iridescent eyes, only his nose was long like a mosquito’s and resembled a needle. He stitched with his long, sharp nose twice as fast as and better than any sewing machine.29

“What would you like to order?” Draquito asked again.

“Will it be very expensive?” the doll Olga assed, worried.

“How can it be! Everything is free for the victors over the Miseries!”

“What generosity!” Pookar ran up to Draquito and shook all his eight hands in turn. “I admire you! Indeed, it’s embarrassing to bother you... Please, a complete wardrobe of spring, summer, fall, and winter clothes for me... And please don’t forget that we defeated the Miseries!”

In order that Pookar, Scholarchkin, and the bunnies would not suffer from impatience and interfere, Draquito quickly sewed for them everything they asked. A few colourful caps for Scholarchkin, a black tailcoat and shirts for Pookar, and waterproof pants and handkerchiefs of increasing sizes for the bunnies. Then he sent everyone packing, leaving only Masha and the doll Olga.

“In truth I love to work only on ballroom gowns for pretty girls! Men’s clothing, it’s the prose of life...” Draquito rubbed his hands in anticipation. “I know what dresses will become you best of all. Stand still and don’t move, I need to take measurements.”

Draquito cut, sewed, fitted, and hemmed until the evening, whirling with crazy speed around Masha and Olga. The girls even began to worry that he would not manage to finish before the beginning of the festivities.

29 Dragonflies have claspers that look like huge stingers. There was an old myth that they would seek out bad kids and sew their lips together with the claspers. Dragonflies were known as the devil's darning needles.







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Finally, Draquito stood still and looked at the work of his eight hands and beak. “Fairyland has never seen the like. I’ve outdone myself!” he exclaimed.

“That was quite easy!” Pookar whispered, peeking through a crack out of curiosity.

For the time being Draquito would not let Masha and Olga go to a mirror. He straightened a lace ruffle, then fastened a bright flower to a dress. Masha and Olga were burning with impatience, but then, when all was ready...

“Ah!” they saw such beauties in the mirror that they almost gasped in delight.

Olga’s dress was of seven rows of coloured lace, silky and shimmering, like the wings of a beautiful butterfly. Draquito sewed a little velvet cap trimmed with tiny gemstones to go with the dress. The shoes with gold buckles adorning Olga’s feet were light and soft, simply created for dancing.

Masha’s ballroom outfit looked dazzling. It consisted of one most delicate long gown embroidered with rose petals and strewn over with pearls like dewdrops! A chaplet of little pink buds with a small transparent veil! And satin shoes with two straps of little pink buds like those of the chaplet! Draquito looked long at Masha, then left without saying a word, and returned after a while with a large brooch in the form of a diamond rose and pinned it to the belt of Masha’s gown.

“Ball! Ball! Ball!” At exactly nine o’clock, an invisible bell rang over the Enchanted Valley. Tables laid with dishes for the most refined taste appeared as from the ground. An orchestra started to play.

The hero warrior Sviatozar, in a new silver chain-mail shirt, received congratulations. One tiny centipede almost fainted from happiness when he gently shook all of her forty hands, which also served equally as legs.

Pookar came in his new tailcoat. The coat somewhat sagged on Pookar because he put all the rubbish he had in his pockets. Naturally, they immediately bulged and sagged. Scholarchkin, in a red cap, stood near Pookar and courteously exchanged bows with all acquaintances, strangers, and creatures.

When the ball began, all the inhabitants of Fairyland twirled around in a waltz. It was an unforgettable sight. It was as if the whole clearing had come alive and begun to move. One after another the pairs flashed by on the grass, lightly and gracefully... Fairies and elves, kings and princes were







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dancing timidly. Bears and elks, foxes and wolves, squirrels and gophers were dancing next to them with passion and skill. In the air, birds in bright plumage were flitting, and in the grass, beetles, mosquitoes, and flies were swarming.

Pookar wavered and hesitated, then approached Olga and nudged her in the side. “Let’s dance. I’m inviting you! Only don’t tread on my feet. You’re as heavy as a tank.”

Olga took one critical look at Pookar. “First pull all the garbage out of your pockets. You’re rattling like a tin can with nails. A tailcoat isn’t sewn to hold a piece of iron.”

“I can’t,” Pookar sighed. “What if someone swipes it? I don’t trust these people. Look at that squirrel! Its eyes are twinkling so.”

“How can you say that! This is Fairyland!” Olga was indignant.“But people are the same everywhere!” Pookar grumbled.At that moment, the same squirrel that had been looking at Pookar

approached him. The squirrel timidly touched the sleeve of Pookar’s coat with a little paw and quietly asked, “May I please have your autograph? I saw on the magic saucer how bravely you fought the Miseries,” and the squirrel handed him a piece of birch bark and a pen. Pookar blushed. Olga nudged him in the side. He took the bark, wrinkled his forehead, and wrote in an uneven hand, Hiroic gritings from Pukar. Luckily for him, the squirrel could not read.

While Pookar was signing the bark for the squirrel, Olga sped off in a dance with a nimble little house-spirit. The house-spirit was slightly taller than Olga and dressed in a blue coat with gold buttons. Pookar stamped his foot in a fit of temper, and then, having shrugged his shoulders, started strolling along the clearing, his hands in his pockets.













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Masha was twirling in a waltz with a young prince who invited her, bowing smartly and extending a hand. Masha had never waltzed before and did not know whether to accept, but then it turned out that it was simply impossible to dance badly in the enchanted clearing with wonderful music. Masha’s skirt embroidered with rose petals ballooned out in the wind.

“Ball! Ball! Ball!” a bell rang.“Ball of the seasons!” the prince whispered to Masha. She felt the

clearing slowly begin to spin beneath their feet. Suddenly something small and cold fell onto Masha’s cheek flushed from the dance. A snowflake! Then it was suddenly snowing heavily and the girl felt a warm and soft coat of poplar fluff on her shoulders.

The snow melted as quickly as it fell, the coat of poplar fluff disappeared, and spring, warm and beautiful, came to the clearing with birdsongs and young leaves. After spring came summer. Ripe, juicy fruits fell into Masha’s hands, and flowers grew to her waist. After summer came fall, golden-yellow, crimson, the most wonderful fall that Masha had ever seen.

The cat Muffin was waltzing with the cat Meown. Or rather, Muffin was dancing alone and Meown was lazily shifting from one paw to the other and yawning. If not for the gala dinner, Meown would have settled down to sleep long ago; instead, he had to wait until the feast started. Muffin was laughing a lot and flirting with everyone.

“How... I love... the waltz!!! Ah, waltz, my waltz!!!” Muffin was singing.“I told you not to drink Valerian! But you said, ‘Go away! Leave me

alone!’” Meown spat.After dancing, everyone proceeded to the magic tables. There was a

moment of sweet expectation, when no one was eating yet but everyone was already licking his lips in anticipation.

“Wait!” Scholarchkin shouted. “Wait! We have to give a speech befitting the occasion. So that everything will be according to procedure.”

Some residents of Fairyland looked at Scholarchkin with irritation, but his idea was to the liking of others.

“How is it done?” Mama Dragon asked. “In the sense of how is everything done according to procedure?”

“First elect the chairman, and then the chairman will let someone have the floor,” Scholarchkin explained.

Meown sighed, full of suffering. Dinner was being delayed.







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“I propose to elect Grandpa Gorynych as chairman!” Flamy shouted. “He’s the oldest inhabitant of Fairyland. Even Baba-Yaga is younger!”

“I love fulsome flattery!” Baba-Yaga sighed.Grandpa Gorynych stood up and cleared his throat, releasing a puff of

smoke from a nose. Everyone froze, waiting for what he would say. Kings and tsars were dropping jealous looks at each other. Each of them wanted to give the speech. Gorynych thought for a bit. Then his right head said, “As chairman, in order not to offend anyone, I give the floor to myself...”

“Hurray!” Flamy shouted. “Grandpa’s been charged with uttering the solemn speech!”

A few of the tsars almost burst with envy but decided in the end that Gorynych had acted correctly. Otherwise, they would all quarrel.

“For a long time Fairyland suffered because of the Miseries. They appeared at night and deprived us of our will with their red eyes. They even cast a spell on the mighty hero Sviatozar, lulled him to sleep, and imprisoned him in Salt Cave. None of the residents dared to show their noses outside their homes after dark. They walked around in fear for their lives for the first time in the history of Fairyland. It lasted a long time, but there was a prophecy that Fairyland would be saved by a girl not of these parts and by a young dragon.

“When Masha arrived, we didn’t immediately understand what a great feat she was destined to complete. But then, when she and her friends volunteered to go over the Lifeless Mountains to the Miseries’ castle, hope appeared in the hearts of Fairyland inhabitants that the prophecy would come true. We saw in the saucer how they fearlessly made their way along the cliffs of Lifeless Mountains, how they fought off the bats with a flashlight, how they strayed in the labyrinth, and how they woke the hero Sviatozar and defeated the Miseries. Thanks to Masha, a little girl, overcoming her own fear. Thanks to the cat Muffin and her sharp eyes. Thanks to Scholarchkin for his smarts and wit. Thanks to the brave Pookar and his inexhaustible pockets. Thanks to the common sense of the doll Olga. Finally, thanks to my grandson Flamy, Alenushka, the cat Meown and the hero Sviatozar, without whom there would be no victory. We thank them with all our hearts!”

Masha and her friends were uncomfortable with all these praises. They shifted from one foot to another and looked at each other. Only Pookar did not suffer from a surplus of modesty but felt like a fish in water. He bowed,







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handed out semiliterate autographs, and was eager to be photographed as a keepsake, but, unfortunately, it turned out that there were no cameras in Fairyland.

While Gorynych was talking, several times the cat Meown was on the point of sticking his claws into a piece of fish on the table, but the cat Muffin remarked to him in a whisper, “Stop! It’s disrespectful! Nobody’s eating yet!”

Muffin herself listened carefully to Gorynych’s speech and found that not enough was said about her personally and far from all her merits were mentioned. “They’ve forgotten that I first decided to go fight the Miseries. And I noticed the hole in the maze and saved everyone’s life!” she said indignantly.

After Grandpa Gorynych’s speech, everybody went for the food. Magical plates and mugs did not stay empty. One only needed to whisper, “Kvass,” into a mug and kvass would appear there. If one were to whisper, “Orange juice,” then orange juice would appear, and so on. There was not a single drink that the magic mug did not know. The same thing happened with a magic plate. It would be filled with any food mentioned. Scholarchkin used up five pages in his notebook on the description of the miracle-ware.

“Your plate knows all the dishes?” Pookar asked. “Ah, here... Then let it cook this for me. Take two kilograms of dried onion, a jar of plum jam, three crocodile eggs, vermicelli stuck together, buckwheat, and bone meal, add fish oil and vegetable oil, salt, sugar, pepper, and margarine to taste. Carefully roast all this thoroughly and let it rise, then sprinkle with chocolate almonds and bake through.”

“Pookar, just where did you come by your nightmarish recipe? This isn’t by any chance poison for cockroaches?” Olga asked.

“I invented it myself. You’re probably jealous of me because you didn’t think of it yourself,” Pookar boasted. “Looks like your plate can’t manage my signature dish. It’s still empty.”

However, here on Pookar’s magic plate appeared something vaguely resembling a cake, topped with chocolate and glazed with fish oil. Pookar licked his lips and swallowed the whole piece almost without chewing. First Pookar’s face showed nothing except surprise, but then he winced and cried out, “Ugh! How disgusting! It’s all the plate’s fault, spoiling my ingenious recipe this way!”







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After the feast, Baba-Yaga handed the guests something shiny. “We want to give you golden tickets to Fairyland. The one who has such a ticket can come to the island of Buyan whenever he wishes.”

Baba-Yaga gave Masha, Scholarchkin, Muffin, Pookar, Olga, and the bunnies golden tickets. The names of the friends were written on them so that no one else could use them. The guests did not even have time to admire their own golden tickets when suddenly the owl Fima arrived flapping her wings.

“The cacti are blooming! You should see the radiance in the underground garden!”

Masha remembered Flamy’s words that all wishes would come true when the most beautiful flowers in the world appeared on the cacti.

“Quick!” Flamy shouted. “We should hurry! Cacti bloom no more than once in a hundred years!”

Buds of the miracle cacti were opening in the underground garden. Uneven flickering lights spanning all the colours of the rainbow were already flooding the stairs.

Large translucent buds on delicate legs shot up over the prickly balls of the cacti. They were closed, but something red, bright, and mysterious pulsated in their very hearts. The buds began to open before the eyes of the captivated audience. In the centre of the largest bud was a small chair. On the chair sat a grey-haired old woman knitting stockings with long knitting needles.

“Hello, hello.” The old woman lifted her eyes to the friends, at the same time not stopping with the needles. “I’m the fairy of the most beautiful flower in the world. And I’ll fulfil your every wish. One for each of







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you. But hurry, the flowers will disappear in five minutes. Approach me and ask what you want.”

“Go!” Mama Dragon pushed Masha to the flower. “Make your wish!”“I want everything to always be well with my parents, relatives, friends,

and me,” Masha said.“So it will be,” the fairy promised. “It will definitely be.”Pookar went to the fairy next. For some time he was thinking whether

he should let Olga or Muffin through first, but then decided that it was not worthwhile to spoil them particularly.

“I want twenty packs of cookies, a hundred jars of jam, a bag of chocolate, a thousand million dollars in cash, a villa in California and a beautiful wife who will love me and feed me jam with a spoon...” Pookar started to blabber.

“Wait!” the fairy stopped Pookar. “I can fulfil only one wish. Since you have many wishes, I’ll fulfil the first one. Here are your twenty packs of cookies!” The fairy waved the knitting needles and a stack of packs of cookies grew by Pookar’s feet.

After Pookar was the doll Olga’s turn. Olga opened her mouth for a long time and could not decide.

“What’s the matter? I see you’re having doubts...” the fairy asked.“I can’t decide what to wish for,” Olga faltered. “On the one hand, I

would have to ask for a peaceful sky above my head. But I want even more to add another room with a fridge and a kitchen table to my little Moscow house. And hot water from the tap.”

“Fine!” the fairy started to wave the needles. “I’ve added a room with a fridge and a table to your little house, but regarding the rest, wait and see.”

The cat Muffin touched the magic flower pleadingly with a paw. “I would like to be the first beauty among the cats. And all Moscow cats would fall in love with me at first sight...”

“Fine, I understand what you want. So be it,” the fairy smiled.The gnome Scholarchkin asked for such a mind and such a memory that

would allow him to know everything in the world.“Well, let’s assume everything in the world is a lot,” the fairy remarked,

“but I’ll add knowledge.”The fairy did not even listen to the timid babbling of the bunnies Sineus

and Truvor. “I know what you need. A little more courage and to grow up healthy,” she said.







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“Only a minute remains. Time to fulfill the wishes of the dragons. Indeed, they looked after the magic cacti all these years.”

The dragons barely had time to utter their desires (Masha could not hear them, they spoke too softly), and the fairy fulfilled them as the cactus flowers closed and disappeared one after the other. The fairy waved her hand in farewell and disappeared.

“Happiness to you all!” she shouted in farewell. “We’ll meet in a hundred years!”







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Chapter Twenty-fourPRINCESS ANTONINA PIROZHEVSKAIA

Three days had passed. Masha’s parents should have returned from their business trip, but a telegram arrived instead: RETURN DELAYED TWO DAYS OBEY ANTONINA PETROVNA KISSES MISS YOU MAMA PAPA.

“Aha,” said Misfit, after rereading the telegram several times, “everything’s clear. ‘Two days obey Antonina Petrovna’... Two days have already passed; therefore, I already don’t have to obey her!”

The whole time Misfit was living with Avdokhina, Pirozhkov was a frequent visitor. He came early in the morning and did not leave until late in the evening. The prince sat in the kitchen, devoured dairy products with an appetite, and told boring stories of his life. They brought Misfit’s jaw to endless yawns, but Avdokhina listened to Pirozhkov sympathetically and agreed non-stop. “Just how does she put up with him?” Misfit thought.

Once, after Pirozhkov had left in the evening, she could not help herself and asked Avdokhina, “Will he be hanging around in our kitchen? What, he has no kitchen of his own?”

“None of your business!” Avdokhina got angry. “Adults don’t need you to know what to do and what not to do... Pirozhkov is actually quite nice. Of course, he’s getting on in years, but, on the other hand, I’m also no young girl...” Avdokhina said this as if to herself, absently guiding a pen on paper.

“Pirozhkov is nice?” Misfit nearly fell off the chair. “He’s the bore of bores! Though a prince!”

However, it seemed that Avdokhina did not hear her. She was looking at the paper on which she had unwittingly wrote, Princess Antonina Pirozhevskaia.

“Well, well!” Misfit followed Avdokhina’s gaze, saw the writing, and was extremely surprised. “Princess Pirozhevskaia! Avdokhina wants to become Princess Pirozhevskaia! I understand nothing, nothing at all!”

That evening, Pirozhkov in a t-shirt, track pants stretched at the knees, and tattered slippers, from where his big toes were peeking out, was brushing his teeth before bedtime, when he suddenly heard a reproachful voice. “Why don’t you propose to Avdokhina? You go visit her and bore her, but you don’t want to get married. Not good!”

Pirozhkov turned sharply, wanting to see who was talking to him. But the bathroom was empty. Indeed, he knew that he was alone in the apartment and that his door was locked and chained.







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“So, my dear! Not good! Marry Avdokhina, you hear, marry her!” “Who are you?” Pirozhkov asked in a quavering tenor.“I’m your inner voice!”Pirozhkov dropped his toothbrush and ran out of the bathroom. He

rushed to his room and hastily closed the door.“You think it’s so easy to escape from me? Would I be a good inner

voice, if I could easily be put behind the door! Propose to Avdokhina!”Despaired of escaping from the annoying voice, Pirozhkov sat on the

edge of the bed and said pitifully, “I can’t! Antonina Petrovna is a woman of good qualities and I like her very much, but I can’t.”

“Why not?”“For my own life,” Pirozhkov explained, “I proposed nine times and was

rejected twelve times.”“But how can that be?” the inner voice was surprised. “Since you’ve

proposed nine times, it means you must have been rejected nine times.”“Ah, no,” Pirozhkov sighed. “The last girl rejected me three times,

although I proposed once. ‘No, no, no!’ she said. ‘I’m still in my right mind.’”

“Poor thing! But why not try the tenth time? Ten’s a lucky number,” the inner voice grunted.

“I can’t bring myself to! A tenth rejection would kill me!” “But you survived nine times!”“I was younger then...” Pirozhkov sighed.“But you weren’t a prince then either! Try!”“I won’t.” Pirozhkov was being stubborn. “Now if this were to happen

somehow unbeknownst to me, by itself.”“Maybe everything will be so...” the inner voice promised mysteriously.

“Meanwhile, buy flowers and don’t forget to iron your pants.”“Flowers?” Pirozhkov quickly repeated. “Why flowers? I already gave

her flowers once. What, she lost them?”The next day, Pirozhkov and Avdokhina were drinking tea in the kitchen

and talking about the most insignificant topics. “This summer is wet, but last summer was sunny. I’m thinking this: if

it’s wet one year, then the next is sure to be sunny.”“You can’t tell, can’t tell... Sometimes it’s warm two years in a row. Luck

of the draw. Here I recall I went to a resort; imagine, no rain for twelve days.”

Suddenly, the kitchen door creaked and opened.







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“A draft. I have rheumatism; draft are not good for me.” Pirozhkov stood up and shut the door tightly.

After a few minutes, when Avdokhina turned for a moment to the stove, where she had cream cheese pancakes browning, someone in the kitchen suddenly said, “I love you!”

Avdokhina nearly dropped the frying pan on her foot in amazement. “Did you say something, Peter Petrovitch?”

“Me? I didn’t say anything!” Pirozhkov was crunching a cookie and heard nothing.

“It certainly seemed so to me,” Avdokhina began to stir an empty pot slowly with a spoon.

“I love you, Antonina Petrovna!” the raspy tenor sounded behind her again.

Avdokhina gave a start and fixed her eyes on Pirozhkov. He was sitting at the table, pale and dropping crumbs in his tea.

“You said it, I heard!”“M-maybe...”“Please repeat...”“P-please, b-be m-my w-wife!” Pirozhkov repeated desperately.Avdokhina became as red as a tomato, and almost sat on the floor.

“Look, the door opened again,” she said.







259

Chapter Twenty-FiveTO MOSCOW!

Masha spent several more days in Fairyland. She swam, sunbathed, and visited Alenushka and Baba-Yaga. One day, however, quite unexpectedly for her, the girl recalled their dusty Moscow courtyard, snow-covered with poplar fluff, and she wanted to go home to Astradamskaia Street. It seemed to Masha that her friends would not agree for anything to leave Fairyland and return to Moscow.

Nevertheless, she once saw the doll Olga anxiously examining a clothespin she had found in the pocket of her own frock. “How are my flowers there in Moscow? Who waters them? And my home? I don’t remember whether I bolted it or not before we left? We were quite bothered then,” Olga shook her head, preoccupied.

Here Pookar came to Masha and Olga. “Strange that in Fairyland they haven’t learned to make decent cherry jam. Lots of fresh cherries, but jam – not a spoonful!”

“What’s this you’re saying about jam?” Masha asked.“I remembered that your grandma is coming from Ukraine and will

bring jam,” Pookar explained. “Have you forgotten? Ay-ay-ay! It’s one thing to forget about grandma, but quite another to forget about jam!”

“Grandma!” Masha exclaimed. “Grandma should be coming!” Masha loved her grandma very much and always waited for her arrival.

“We also want to go home,” Pookar and Olga said. “We’ve missed our room and the window looking out onto Timiryazev Woods!”30

“Really! I thought you wouldn’t leave here for anything in the world!” Masha laughed.

“Now that we have a magic ticket, we can return any time.”They went to the cat Muffin to find out her plans. Over the past days,

Muffin was spending all her time with the cat Meown near Baba-Yaga’s home. However, this time Masha, Pookar, and Olga found Muffin on a clearing near the creek. Her carefree face looked indignant and displeased.

“I realized that Meown had no serious intentions regarding me,” Muffin meowed indignantly.

“What were his intentions, then? Insincere?”

30 A woodland area and public park in Moscow named after Kliment Arkad’evich Timiryazev (1842-1920), famous Russian botanist and physiologist.







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“None at all! He would only eat and sleep! And I wasted a lot of time on him! No, enough! Time to go back to Moscow!”

“To the dumpster cats?” Pookar barely dodged a slap. “I recognize the former Muffy! Looks like you won’t die of love.”

“No way! Don’t want to! And what in essence is this Meown? An ordinary provincial cat!” Muffin declared.

Scholarchkin and the bunnies Sineus and Truvor also decided to return to Moscow with everyone. Scholarchkin had gathered a lot of material in Fairyland and now wanted to write a book.

“I hope you won’t tear me away from my research?” Scholarchkin asked.“Wouldn’t dream of it. The more you work, the less time you have for

moral teaching,” said Pookar.In the evening, when the whole family of dragons gathered in the living

room by the fireplace, the friends informed them of their decision.“We’re leaving for Moscow. Grandma should be coming. And I miss

Mama and Papa,” Masha explained.Flamy was terribly distressed. He turned away and pretended a speck of

dust was in his eye. “Remember that you now have golden tickets.”“We’ll come to you very often and you to us. Right, Flamy?” Masha

stroked Flamy’s shiny scales.The next day, suitcases packed with gifts were collected. The friends

went to Baba-Yaga, the hero Sviatozar, and Alenushka to say goodbye to them.

“I never thought that I would be sad to say goodbye to you,” Pookar declared, “but I am sad.” The eyes and noses of Masha and the doll Olga were red.

“Good-bye, my beautiful! Perhaps we’ll meet again!” Baba-Yaga kissed Masha on the head.

“Good-bye, grandma!” Baba-Yaga was clearly touched. “It’s Yaga,31 but here you’re calling me

grandma!” she grumbled.Muffin approached the cat Meown, who was lying in the dust in the sun,

and said carelessly, “Just imagine, I’m going to the capital. Here, don’t you know, the climate is too cold.”

“Really?” Meown yawned. “Write.”

31 The Russian word yaga means a witch, an ugly, evil, old woman.







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“I don’t think that I’ll have time for it. I’ve so many admirers in Moscow! They simply give me no peace. All the time walking around, singing serenades, pleading...”

Muffin looked sideways at Meown to check if he was awake. Meown was not asleep. He was listening benevolently to her, occasionally turning his other side to the sun.

“Greet your fans for me,” Meown said.Ivanushka and Alenushka were genuinely distressed and only calmed

down a little when Masha promised to come to Fairyland for vacations.“We’ll wait! When do you have vacations?”“Fall vacations usually in the fall and winter ones in winter,” Pookar

explained. “Although they’re never the same twice.”“Look who’s talking! You, Pookar, are on eternal vacations,” Olga

chuckled. In the second half of the day, towards evening, the dragons with Masha,

Muffin, Scholarchkin, Pookar, and Olga, as well as the bunnies Sineus and Truvor on their backs made a circle over the island of Buyan and headed to Moscow. The friends did not sleep on the return journey, and while the flight lasted, they looked down over the ocean. They flew through the white cotton clouds. A breeze blew pleasantly on their faces.

They were in Moscow about an hour to midnight when Masha’s mama and papa were already asleep. On seeing Flamy and Mama Dragon, Misfit was very happy. No matter how good it was for her, she missed the island of Buyan no less than Masha missed her home.

Now Masha was in her own room again. Everything here was as before. Nothing had changed during her two-week absence.

The doll Olga ran to her own little house on the windowsill and opened the door. Although the room looked clean and very tidy, Olga immediately decided on a general cleaning. “So much dust, dust!” Olga happily grabbed the broom.

Despite the late hour, Scholarchkin ran to the attic to write his book. He stated that night awakened his scientific inspiration.

The first thing Pookar did was crawl under the bed, where he discovered to his solace that the jar of jam he had hidden was whole and unharmed.

“How did everything go?” Flamy asked Misfit. “Nobody noticed Masha’s absence?”

“On the contrary, everyone noticed her presence. Even those who had never noticed it before,” Misfit said.







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“Mama and Papa didn’t suspect anything?” Masha was uneasy.“No. They only just returned from a business trip today. And tomorrow

your grandma will arrive. Pity that I won’t have time to make her acquaintance.”

“Stay,” Masha suggested. “Be our guest a bit longer.”“I can’t anymore,” said Misfit. “I think for such a relatively small city

like Moscow, one Masha is more than enough.”The friends said goodbye. Masha, the doll Olga, and Muffin hugged

Misfit and Flamy and wished them a good trip to Fairyland. The trip was indeed good and passed without adventures. Pookar, Scholarchkin, and the bunnies patted Flamy on the shoulder, leg, and tail, wherever they could reach.

The young dragon turned towards the balcony, shouted, “Goodbye!” and was about to take off, but Masha called to him. “Flamy!”

“Yes?” Flamy turned around.“What do you think if someone were to write a book about us, the place

where we parted – would it be sad?”“Not really,” Flamy said. “We aren’t parting forever. You have a magic

ticket and you can visit us in Fairyland any time.”Pookar also heard Masha’s question. He slipped his arm up to his

shoulder into the jam jar and finished off the rest to the very bottom. “I’m willing to bet that the saddest place in the book would be the parting with me,” he declared. “All the children would be sobbing in three streams. The girls and boys would want to meet me again and send letters and telegrams: Dear Pookar! Come visit us! A jar of cherry jam without pits would accompany every letter. It’s a waste of time spitting out pits, I am too busy a person for that!”













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