FIRST WIVES CLUB›” 25일(금)_조강지처 클럽.pdf · stay over. Where were you last night? ANNIE: Oh, I was in, I was at a friend's. CHRIS: You were with that man again, weren't

T H E F I R S T W I V E S C L U B

DIALOGUE CONTINUITY PRINTED IN USA

T H E F I R S T W I V E S C L U B

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) Middlebury College, 1969, the

year of walking on the moon, Yellow

Submarine and Woodstock. Also the year that

Pope Paul the IV eliminated 200 saints, all

men. And I, along with my three best

friends, graduated from College.

YOUNG ANNIE: (OFF) Where's Cynthia?

YOUNG ANNIE: We have to get going, don't we? I mean,

shouldn't we?

YOUNG BRENDA: Calm and collected, Annie. She said she had

a surprise.

YOUNG ELISE: How is this? Is this heaven?

YOUNG ANNIE: Elise, you are so gorgeous. Really. Oh,

my. It's lovely.

YOUNG BRENDA: It's solid.

YOUNG CYNTHIA: (OFF) Oh, girls...

YOUNG ANNIE: Cynthia!

YOUNG CYNTHIA: Here. Open. Put'em on.

THE THREE YOUNG WOMEN: Oh! Oh, my God!

YOUNG ANNIE: Oh, my God!

YOUNG ANNIE: (OFF) Oh, no. You...

YOUNG ANNIE: (OFF) ...shouldn't have done this. It's...

YOUNG ANNIE: ...too much!

YOUNG BRENDA: (OFF) I don't think so.

YOUNG BRENDA: I think it's just enough.

YOUNG CYNTHIA: (OFF) You can all...

YOUNG CYNTHIA: (OFF) ...write me nice notes, but right

now...

YOUNG CYNTHIA: ...we need a toast.

THE FIRST WIVES CLUB Page 2

YOUNG ELISE: (OFF) Get it!

YOUNG CYNTHIA: Pour, pour!

YOUNG CYNTHIA: (OFF) It's picture time!

YOUNG BRENDA: Champagne!

YOUNG ANNIE: From my folks.

YOUNG CYNTHIA: This is Annie...

YOUNG CYNTHIA: (OFF) ...Elise and Brenda.

YOUNG ANNIE: (OFF) And Cynthia. I mean, our

valedictorian.

YOUNG CYNTHIA: (OFF) All right, we are all bound together

now and forever by friendship and love.

YOUNG BRENDA: And jewelry.

YOUNG CYNTHIA: And we are always, always going to be there

for each other.

YOUNG ELISE: Got it!

YOUNG ANNIE: Oh, God! I'm gonna cry!

YOUNG CYNTHIA: Here we go. For the rest of our lives.

YOUNG CYNTHIA: (OFF) One, two...

YOUNG ELISE: How's my hair?

YOUNG CYNTHIA: ...three.

YOUNG ANNIE: It's good.

TERESA: Mrs. Cynthia?

CYNTHIA: Teresa... I want you to have these.

TERESA: No, no, no.

CYNTHIA: Yes, yes, yes.

TERESA: I cannot take --

CYNTHIA: No, no, no, no, no. Consider them as a

raise.

CYNTHIA: Okay?

TERESA: Thank you.

CYNTHIA: Now you take the rest of the day off, go on.

TERESA: Thank you.


CYNTHIA: Oh, Teresa, would you mind? You mind

mailing these for me?

TERESA: Sure.

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) Of the four of us, Cynthia was

certainly the most likely to succeed. When

she decided to do something...she just went

right ahead and did it.

ANNIE: Roachie. Come on, honey. You missed your

mommy? Mommy's home. Oh, gosh, think we

got any messages?

ANNIE: (OFF) What do you think?

CATHERINE: (OVER ANSWERING MACHINE) Annie dear, it's

your mother.

CATHERINE: (OVER ANSWERING MACHINE) It's six a.m.!

Please call me urgently.

ANNIE: Oh, Chris!

ANNIE: (OFF) Oh, God.

ANNIE: Honey, I thought you were going to campus

yesterday.

CHRIS: (OFF) Well, my morning...

CHRIS: ...classes were canceled, so I decided to

stay over. Where were you last night?

ANNIE: Oh, I was in, I was at a friend's.

CHRIS: You were with that man again, weren't you?

Mother, I'm so disappointed.

ANNIE: I know, sweetie. I'm sorry. But he is your

father.

CHRIS: Yes, but he's using you and you shouldn't

let him.

ANNIE: Oh, Chris, it's not that simple.

ANNIE: The truth of the matter is that... I love

your father...


ANNIE: (OFF) ...and I'm sure that he loves me.

It's just...

CHRIS: You're a doormat!

ANNIE: What's the matter with you?

ANNIE: Why are you so crabby today, honey?

ANNIE: (OFF) Is it school? I know what it is.

ANNIE: It's a boy.

CHRIS: I'm a lesbian, mother.

ANNIE: What?

CHRIS: I'm a lesbian. But that's not the...

CHRIS: (OFF) ...issue here.

ANNIE: (OFF) Sweetie...

ANNIE: ...when you say "lesbian'...

CHRIS: And don't tell Daddy. I wanna tell him

myself when the time is right. Like

Father's Day...

CHRIS: (OFF) ...or Christmas morning.

ANNIE: Chris...

CATHERINE: (OFF) Oh, thank God you're all...

CATHERINE: ...right. Where were you? Who saw you?

ANNIE: Who saw me what?

CHRIS: (OFF) She was sleeping...

CHRIS: ...with Daddy.

CATHERINE: Oh, muffin, you've come to your senses. I'm

so happy.

ANNIE: Mother, I am not sleeping with Aaron. He's

just having some problems with his partners.

ANNIE: (OFF) He's feeling...

ANNIE: ...very conflicted, and he needed somebody

to talk to.

CHRIS: Doormat.

ANNIE: Lesbian.


ELISE: Do it, Morris. Do it to me now. I need it.

You're the only one who does it the way I

like it. You're the king.

MORRIS: Elise, if I give you any more collagen, your

lips are gonna look like they got stuck in a

pool drain.

ELISE: Morris, I haven't worked in 18 months...

ELISE: (OFF) ...and I have a meeting with a

Director for a part that I would kill for!

ELISE: I have to look sexy.

MORRIS: (OFF) Elise...

MORRIS: ...you are sexy!

MORRIS: Look. Look at yourself. You're incredible.

You're, you're my masterpiece.

MORRIS: (OFF) There's not one line on your face.

ELISE: Oh, really? Well, whatta you call that?

ELISE: And these? What are these?

MORRIS: Wha-wh-wh-

ELISE: Huh?

MORRIS: You're forty...

MORRIS: ...five! You know, if I give you one more

facelift, you're gonna be able...

MORRIS: ...to blink your lips. I mean, don't you

wanna be able to play parts your own age?

ELISE: (OFF) My own age?

ELISE: No, no, you don't understand.

ELISE: (OFF) There are only three ages for women

in Hollywood:

ELISE: Babe, District Attorney and Driving Miss

Daisy.

ELISE: (OFF) And right now, I wanna be...

ELISE: ...young. Science fiction young.


MORRIS: Oh, oh, thi-thi-this is good.

MORRIS: And while you're at it, you might think

about cutting down on the booze.

MORRIS: (OFF) Look, Elise, I...

MORRIS: ...I know you're upset about the divorce.

ELISE: Upset?

MORRIS: (OFF) I know you're upset about Bill's...

MORRIS: ...movie.

ELISE: (OFF) This is-this is...

ELISE: ...not about him!

ELISE: (OFF) This is about my lips!

ELISE: Okay, now look at me.

ELISE: (OFF) I want Tina Turner.

ELISE: I want Jagger.

ELISE: Fill'em up!

BRENDA: (OFF) No!

BRENDA: (INTO PHONE) Really? Oh, this is fabulous

news. Thank you. Bye-bye. Jason!

BRENDA: Jason! Honey?

BRENDA: (OFF) Yoo-hoo!

BRENDA: (OFF) Burning Sensation just confirmed.

BRENDA: Jason!

JASON: What?

BRENDA: (OFF) Burning Sensation...

BRENDA: ...confirmed. I got the band you wanted.

JASON: Cool!

BRENDA: Affection.

BRENDA: Gimme that.

VOICE: (VOICE OVER) (IN HEBREW)

JASON: What is this?

BRENDA: Hebrew!


BRENDA: Your bar mitzvah's in three weeks. It's the

one thing your father is willing...

BRENDA: ...to pay for. Learn it.

JASON: But, Mom...

BRENDA: Don't "but Mom"...

BRENDA: ...me. Please learn it. Don't shame me in

the synagogue. And hurry up. It's time for

school.

CATHERINE: (OFF) This separation between you and Aaron

is absurd. How are you...

CATHERINE: ...going to work things out if you're not

together?

ANNIE: We're practically together, Mother. We're

both seeing the same therapist. Come on.

CATHERINE: What?

ANNIE: (OFF) Roach, come on. Go. Uh, her name is

Dr. Leslie Rosen...

ANNIE: ...and I think she's just incredible,

Mother. She's helping Aaron with his

commitment issues, and we're...we're working

on my self esteem. Roach, honey, please....

ANNIE: (OFF) ...you gotta go now.

CATHERINE: You are married, you have a daughter, you're

very happy. You don't need self esteem.

ANNIE: Mother!

ANNIE: Dr. Rosen says that...

ANNIE: Well, she says you're very controlling, Mom.

CATHERINE: Me?

CATHERINE: (OFF) Controlling?

CATHERINE: Oh, that is ridiculous.

ANNIE: Mother.

CATHERINE: Roach!


CATHERINE: Go!

ANNIE: What if I found somebody else, Mother? I

mean, it's possible, maybe.

CATHERINE: Oh, honey, you're 46.

ANNIE: Well yes, but...

CATHERINE: A woman your age has a better chance of

being slaughtered by a psychopath.

ANCHORWOMAN: (OVER TV) ...Cynthia Swann Griffin is dead.

ANCHORWOMAN: (OVER TV) The former wife of Wall Street

wizard...

ANCHORWOMAN: (OVER TV) (OFF) ...Gil Griffin...

CATHERINE: Didn't you go to school with her?

ANNIE: Mother, shhh!

ANCHORWOMAN: (OVER TV) (OFF) ...suicide...

ANCHORWOMAN: (OVER TV) ...leaped from her penthouse

apartment.

ANNIE: Mom!

ANCHORWOMAN: (OVER TV) (OFF) Mrs. Griffin had recently

divorced her long time husband...

ANCHORWOMAN: (OVER TV) ...Gilbert Griffin. The Wall

Street baron and philanthropist remarried

only yesterday.

ELISE: Morning, Mohammed.

MOHAMMED: (OFF) Morning, Ms. Elliot.

VOICE: (OFF) Elise!

ELISE: (OFF) Oh...

ELISE: ...Gunilla.

GUNILLA: Elise. Oh, God, what a tragedy.

ELISE: Poor Cynthia.

GUNILLA: And your lips!

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) Elise Elliot arrived with

Gunilla Garson-Goldberg, the...


ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) ...Queen of New York society.

Nobody gets anywhere...

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) ...in this town without

Gunilla's say so.

BRENDA: (OFF) Psst! Hey! Psst! Elise!

DUARTO: She looks wonderful. She had any work done?

BRENDA: Honey, she's a quilt.

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) Then came Cynthia's former

husband...

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) ...Gilbert Griffin, a man made

rich...

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) ...by his first wife's

connections and now made...

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) ...happy by his second wife's

youthful...

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) ...good looks.

BRENDA: The vampire Lestat. And Louis.

BRENDA: What a nerve. He should be hanging his

head.

DUARTO: You don't know what Gil is feeling right

now.

ANNIE: Oh! I knew you'd be here!

ELISE: Alice?

ANNIE: (OFF) No! Annie!

ELISE: Annie!

ELISE: (OFF) It's so...

ELISE: ...wonderful to see you.

ANNIE: (OFF) Yeah.

ELISE: Oh, and you're wearing our pearls.

ANNIE: Yes.

ELISE: Oh.

BRENDA: Hi.


BRENDA: (OFF) Brenda.

ELISE: Brenda. Brenda!

BRENDA: (OFF) Annie!

BRENDA: Remember me?

ELISE: Oh, Brenda, you look wonderful. Really she

does.

BRENDA: You do, too. You look just...

BRENDA: ...uncanny.

ELISE: Thank you.

ELISE: Dear, sweet, funny, yearning...

ELISE: (OFF) ...Brenda.

ANNIE: What?

ELISE: Oh, she's such a bitch.

BRENDA: Oh, I hate that guy.

ANNIE: (OFF) I know this is gonna sound...

ANNIE: ...horrible after, but I, I would really, I

just...

ANNIE: (OFF) ...I'd love to...

BRENDA: Lunch?

ANNIE: Oh, no. I know, you're right. It's not

right.

BRENDA: Why? We gotta eat.

ELISE: (OFF) I have a car.

BRENDA: A limo?

ELISE: Yeah.

ELISE: Oh, it's so wonderful seeing you again. I

can't tell you.

ANNIE: Elise?

ELISE: What?

ANNIE: You have not changed a bit in 20...

ANNIE: (OFF) ...years. Not one...

ANNIE: ...little bit.


BRENDA: (OFF) Oh, my.

BRENDA: (OFF) It's utterly bizarre.

ELISE: Brenda!

BRENDA: (OFF) Oh, excuse me. I'm so sorry.

WAITER: Excuse me, ladies. Would anyone like a

drink?

ANNIE: Oh, yes, I would like...

ANNIE: (OFF) ...a Virgin Mary.

BRENDA: Bloody Mary.

ELISE: Vodka rocks, please.

ANNIE: I just wanna say this...

ANNIE: ...and get this outta the way. I'm the most

terrible person in the whole wide world. I

tried to....

ANNIE: (OFF) ...stay in touch. I should've

written every single month.

ANNIE: I'm sorry I didn't.

ELISE: Oh, Annie, you had a life to lead. I mean,

and it must've been...

ELISE: (OFF) ...so time consuming churning out all

those newsletters.

BRENDA: (OFF) I know it's a terrible excuse for a

reunion...

BRENDA: ...but here we all are. So how are you

guys, huh?

ANNIE: Oh, just fine. Couldn't be better.

ELISE: (OFF) And...

ELISE: ...things are just rolling right along for

me. Right here.

BRENDA: Same here. Knock wood.

ANNIE: Knock, knock.

ELISE: Okay.


BRENDA: It's great to see you guys again.

ANNIE: Oh yeah.

ELISE: Cheers.

ANNIE: I mean, why did she do it? I don't

understand. Was there something that I

could've done to help?

ANNIE: What happened to make her wanna...

ELISE: Well, she probably gave Gil the best years

of her life. Sacrificed her youth...

ELISE: (OFF) ...always put herself last in order

to bolster his...

ELISE: (OFF) ...ego, his drive, his...

ELISE: (OFF) ...ambition.

ELISE: And just as her dignity was hanging on by a

thread, he just lopped it off by running

away with some preschooler.

ELISE: I'm guessing.

BRENDA: (OFF) Elise...

BRENDA: ...you too?

ELISE: You? Brenda?

ANNIE: Brenda?

BRENDA: (OFF) My Morty got to be this...

BRENDA: ...big shot on TV.

BRENDA: He was selling electronics, right? On our

20th wedding anniversary, it hits him. Mid-

life crisis. Major. He starts working out.

He grows a mustache. He gets an earring. I

said, "Morty, what are you, a pirate?

What's next, a parrot?"

BRENDA: (OFF) And all of a sudden, I'm...

BRENDA: ...a big drag. I'm holding him back because

I won't go roller-blading!


ELISE: What's her name?

BRENDA: Shelly.

BRENDA: Shelly the barracuda. She's 12.

ANNIE: Oh, Bren. Oh, Elise.

ANNIE: I-you know, I'm just so sorry about both of

your marriages. I wish that I could've

helped, or that I could've been there in

some way.

BRENDA: What about you?

ELISE: (OFF) Yeah, how's your marriage, Annie?

BRENDA: (OFF) Yeah.

ANNIE: Oh, everything's just fine, really. I mean,

Aaron is so terrific.

ANNIE: (OFF) And, well now, let me think, uh...

ANNIE: (OFF) ...we've been married for 25...

ANNIE: (OFF) ...years.

ANNIE: Yep. And, uh, Chris is just perfect. I

mean, lesbians are great nowadays.

ANNIE: (OFF) And, uh, well the marriage is just,

it's...

ANNIE: (OFF) ...going, it's going...

ANNIE: ...to be really fine. Aaron and I...

ANNIE: (OFF) ...are just, you know, we're, uh...

ANNIE: ...we're temporarily, sort of, kind, you

know, just a little bit, you know, we're

separated.

BRENDA: Separated.

ELISE: Separated?

BRENDA: Separated.

ANNIE: Well, you...

ANNIE: Well.

BRENDA: (OFF) Well, ya know...


BRENDA: Okay, Elise, the time has come.

BRENDA: (OFF) Spill. Those lips, what's in 'em?

BRENDA: Are they wax?

ELISE: Excuse me?

BRENDA: (OFF) What else did you have done?

BRENDA: Come on, Elise. You can tell me.

BRENDA: (OFF) The cheekbones, the jawline?

BRENDA: Did you just have a little bit, or the...

BRENDA: ...full enchilada?

ELISE: I work out every day, I watch my diet. I

have not had plastic surgery.

ANNIE: (OFF) Well good for you.

ANNIE: You look terrific.

BRENDA: (OFF) Oh, come on.

BRENDA: Elise, you're lying through your caps.

ELISE: Okay. All right, I have been freshened up a

little bit.

ANNIE: Oh, God.

ANNIE: (OFF) Does it hurt?

ELISE: Mm, no.

BRENDA: (OFF) What do they do with the stuff that

they cut off?

BRENDA: Do you get to keep it?

ELISE: Oh, come on, Brenda. It's the 90's for...

ELISE: ...godsakes! I mean, it's like...plastic

surgery's like...

ELISE: (OFF) ...good grooming. It's like brushing

your teeth.

ANNIE: (OFF) Elise, look at you. You have been...

ANNIE: yanked and stitched and stuffed and pulled!

You're a turkey!

ELISE: A what?


ANNIE: (OFF) And to please who?

ANNIE: Your ex-husband?!

ELISE: (OFF) No...

ELISE: ...to please everybody! To please

everybody!

BRENDA: (OFF) Everybody.

ELISE: (OFF) Men...

BRENDA: Everyone.

ELISE: (OFF) ...women...

ELISE: ...studio executives. Come on. I mean,

youth and beauty, man. I mean, that's the

ticket.

ELISE: (OFF) When men...

ELISE: ...no, when women get to be a certain age...

BRENDA: (OFF) Bye-bye, love.

BRENDA: Hello, poptarts.

ELISE: (OFF) That's right, baby.

ELISE: It's holocaust.

ELISE: Oh, God, I wish I had to courage to just

give it all up, you know?

ELISE: To say who gives a rat's ass and just let

myself go like you two.

ELISE: Oh, no...no offense.

ANNIE: None taken.

BRENDA: Oh, speak for yourself, okay?

ANNIE: Elise...

ANNIE: (OFF) ...you're gifted, you're talented and

successful.

ELISE: Thank you.

ANNIE: (OFF) And Brenda...

ANNIE: ...you're wonderfully verbal...

ANNIE: (OFF) ...and I am seeing...


ANNIE: ...a very talented therapist. Now, we're in

our...

ANNIE: ...primes! And by the way, my marriage is

just fine, thank you.

ELISE: Annie you have an amazing attitude.

ELISE: (OFF) You...

ANNIE: Well.

ELISE: (OFF) ...you are...

ELISE: Your are so cheerful.

ANNIE: Well.

ELISE: (OFF) You...

ELISE: (OFF) ...are, look at me.

ANNIE: (OFF) What?

ELISE: You are genuinely happy.

BRENDA: It's a beautiful thing.

ANNIE: (OFF) Well, thank you.

ELISE: Lithium?

ANNIE: (OFF) You would've been so proud of me,

Leslie. I mean, I was the only positive

thing at that table. I mean, of course

there's still traces of those same wonderful

witty women I knew all those years ago,

but... I don't know. I just don't know.

They're just so angry and they're so

confused. I mean, when we were young...

ANNIE: ...we had such spirit.

LESLIE: (OFF) Say it, Annie.

ANNIE: Huh? What?

LESLIE: Work from love.

ANNIE: Okay. Work from love.

LESLIE: (OFF) Good.

LESLIE: Grow from love.


ANNIE: Grow from love.

LESLIE: Screw the world.

ANNIE: I can't say that. I'm sorry, Leslie.

LESLIE: Annie?

ANNIE: What?

LESLIE: Annie, you are still doing it.

ANNIE: I know.

LESLIE: You have a problem with unexpressed anger.

ANNIE: Well, I know. You're absolutely right.

ANNIE: You know, it's my Mo -- I don't know what it

is! It's my Mother, it's Connecticut...

ANNIE: (OFF) ...it's all these loud noises!

LESLIE: And Aaron?

ANNIE: (OFF) No, I know we're separated...

ANNIE: ...but I think this is just really like a

rest period, Leslie. We're just kind of

getting...

ANNIE: Aah! Oh!

LESLIE: Do it, Annie! Get angry!

ANNIE: (OFF) I...

ANNIE: ...couldn't. I know that I should, Leslie.

I really do.

ANNIE: (OFF) It's just that...

LESLIE: Hit me.

LESLIE: Stand up, Annie, and hit me.

ANNIE: No, I... I can't, Leslie. I'm so sorry.

LESLIE: Come on.

ANNIE: You know, I know what, maybe, um....

ANNIE: (OFF) ...next week.

LESLIE: Annie, let it out. I want you to hit me.

LESLIE: (OFF) Trust me, come on. It's okay.

ANNIE: O-okay.


LESLIE: Oh! Rambo!

LESLIE: (OFF) Ooh! A real tough guy! Come on,

Annie...

LESLIE: (OFF) ...hit me!

ANNIE: I couldn't.

LESLIE: Ooh!

ANNIE: Oh!

ANNIE: (OFF) Oh, my God!

LESLIE: That was better.

ANNIE: I'm...

ANNIE: so sorry. Oh, please don't tell Aaron.

LESLIE: Time's up.

LESLIE: It's time to go. Do you feel better?

ANNIE: Thank you.

LESLIE: Good.

ELISE: (OFF) I mean, he doesn't...

ELISE: ...have the guts to tell me he wants a

divorce in person. I have to hear it on

television, on Entertainment Tonight, Hard

Copy!

TOM: Elise, be cool, be calm.

ELISE: I am!

TOM: I actually saw that show. It was really

rather interesting.

ELISE: Oh, Tom, I don't wanna hear about it!

SULLIVAN: (OFF) The marriage between my client and

Ms. Eliot resulted in many...

SULLIVAN: (OFF) ...successful films, including Inner

Urges, Human Instinct and...

SULLIVAN: ...my personal favorite...

SULLIVAN: (OFF) ...Animal Nature, in which she played

and extremely sensual veterinarian.


ELISE: Thank you.

BILL: (OFF) My idea.

ELISE: Was not.

BILL: Was, too.

SULLIVAN: (OFF) My client produced these films, which

enhanced Ms. Eliot's career.

SULLIVAN: Therefore, she is indebted to him.

ELISE: I produced these films.

ELISE: (OFF) You knew nothing about films when I

met you.

ELISE: I taught you everything.

TOM: Shh, shh, shh.

ELISE: What?

BILL: (OFF) Those were good years...

BILL: ...Elise. Your best.

SULLIVAN: (OFF) And therefore we request one half of

Ms. Eliot's assets and a monthly stipend.

ELISE: He wants alimony?

SULLIVAN: As for the possessions, the sculpture...

SULLIVAN: (OFF) ...art...

ELISE TO ATTORNEY: (OVERLAPPING) The possessions?

SULLIVAN: (OFF) ...Japanese porcelain and important

objects collected during the...

SULLIVAN: ...marriage...

ELISE: (OVERLAPPING) I wanna tell you something.

SULLIVAN: ...my client feels it would be only fair if

Ms. Eliot would...

SULLIVAN: ...to dispose of the collection and divide

the proceeds in an even split.

ELISE: ...because they were anniversary presents...


ELISE: (OFF) ...they were Christmas presents! I

gave him everything he has. And now he

wants more?

BRENDA: (OVERLAPPING) No, Duarto, this is

depressing.

DUARTO: Go faster. We're going to go have lunch...

BRENDA: Oh, now look at this, Duarto! I ask you,

please now, who is supposed to wear that?

Some anorexic teenager? Some fetus?

BRENDA: It's a conspiracy, I know it is. I've had

enough. I'm leading a protest.

BRENDA: I am never buying another item of clothing

until these designers come to their senses.

DUARTO: Will you shut up?

BRENDA: No.

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) Brenda worked for a man named

Duarto Feliz, one of the 10 worst decorators

in New York City.

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) I think his real name was

Dwayne Pummelwicz.

BRENDA: Oh, God.

DUARTO: It's electric! And look at this hideous...

BRENDA: Duarto, I cannot afford it.

DUARTO: No, but you've got to have it. Go and try

it on. Who cares? We could sell your

broach, you son...

BRENDA: (OFF) Morty.

BRENDA: (OFF) Morty! Well, look at you.

MORTY: Brenda, don't embarrass me.

BRENDA: Don't embarrass you.

MORTY: Don't make a scene.

BRENDA: Don't make a scene.


MORTY: Don't make a scene.

BRENDA: Don't embarrass you! You got a nerve!

BRENDA: I'll tell you what's embarrassing!

MORTY: (OVERLAPPING) Keep your voice down.

Brenda, control yourself.

BRENDA: Being hassled by Mr. Zaworsky in the

elevator because I'm behind in the rent.

That's embarrassing. Worrying about how I'm

gonna get my kid through college. That's

embarrassing!

MORTY: You know something? You never listen. For

20 years, you never, ever listened.

MORTY: Here. Honey, why don't you try this on in

the fitting room? It looks very nice.

BRENDA: You know, I could use this. It's very

beautiful and I love the color.

BRENDA: But what would I use for money? How am I

gonna pay for it?

MORTY: It's the company that is expanding, don't

you understand that? The company! Not me!

I'm a mere laborer, okay?

BRENDA: You're a liar and a fraud!

MORTY: I have no money. I'm not rich.

BRENDA: Really? Why don't you look in your purse?

MORTY: Oh, you're very funny.

SHELLY: (OFF) They're stunning, Morton.

SHELLY: I need all of them.

BRENDA: (OFF) Morton?

SHELLY: (OFF) Oh, God...

SHELLY: ...make it go away.

BRENDA: (OFF) Shelly...look at you. My, my, the

bulimia certainly has...


BRENDA: ...paid off.

MORTY: Don't start.

BRENDA: What's the matter, Morty? Cant you buy her

a whole dress?

MORTY: Stop it.

SHELLY: Brenda, why don't you try these on in your

size?

MORTY: (OFF) It was really a delight...

MORTY: ...running into you today, Brenda.

BRETT: (VOICE OVER) You've read the script?

ELISE: Oh, yes. It is so... I mean, it's utterly

original. You're so good. You're so

gifted, Brett.

BRETT: Hey...

ELISE: And Monique... Monique... Monique.

Um...she is a...she is a great character.

BRETT: Thank you. Man...what a kick.

ELISE: Isn't it?

ELISE: Elise Eliot...

BRETT: ...in a Brett Artounian film.

ELISE: So tell me, how do you see her?

BRETT: Well, uh...

BRETT: ...I think we go for...

BRETT: ...grotesque.

ELISE: What?

BRETT: Oh, all the way. I mean, no make-up,

overhead...

BRETT: (OFF) ...lighting. Bring out every

wrinkle, every crag. God, with you in the

part...

BRETT: ...Monique's mother's not gonna be just

another Jurassic fleshbag in a wheelchair.


BRETT: (OFF) She's epic. It's like... Elise

Eliot...the crypt keeper. Wow...

JASON: (OVER ANSWERING MACHINE) Mom, I'm spending

the night at Dad's. Don't worry. I'm

studying. "Baruch ata adonoy". Happy now?

ELISE: (OFF) Maurice. Pour me another one.

MAURICE: Yes, Ma'am.

ELISE: (OFF) They want me to play the mother.

MAURICE: I'm sorry?

ELISE: The mother!

ELISE: (OFF) Let me ask you something, Maurice.

ELISE: Is this the face of a mother?

MAURICE: Oh, no, Ma'am.

MAURICE: Well, certainly not mine.

ELISE: Mm-hm. So I thought.

CATHERINE: (OFF) I don't mean...

CATHERINE: ...to criticize, but you have no feeling for

noodles.

ANNIE: Thank you, Mom.

(PHONE RINGS)

ANNIE: (INTO PHONE) Mm, hello. Oh...

ANNIE: (INTO PHONE, OFF) ...Aaron? Oh, nothing.

I'm just having pasta with mother.

ANNIE: (INTO PHONE) Oh, no, you say. Oh, sure.

ANNIE: (INTO PHONE, OFF) That'll be good. Bye.

ANNIE: Mother, we're gonna have dinner!

ANNIE: (OFF) Dinner. Can you believe that? Oh,

my God!

ANNIE: Do you know what this means? I bet it means

that he's re-prioritized, he's worked

through all of his relationship phobias...


ANNIE: (OFF) ...his fear of intimacy, and his

thing about...

ANNIE: ...you know, my poisoning his food, and he's

ready to re-commit.

HOSTESS: Here we go.

BRENDA: Thank you.

HOSTESS: Enjoy.

BRENDA: Thank you. Excuse me.

BRENDA: I'm so sorry. Excuse me.

BUSBOY: Una? By yourself?

BRENDA: Si.

ANNIE: Hello.

AARON: How are you? You wanna...

ANNIE: Oh, sure.

ELISE: I'm not Monique's mother!

MAURICE: No.

ELISE: Angela Lansbury's Monique's mother! Shelley

Winters is Unique's mother!

MAURICE: Now that's good.

ELISE: Sean Connery's Monique's mother!

MAURICE: Perhaps I should get you some coffee.

ELISE: No, I take that back. Sean Connery's

Monique's boyfriend. He's 300 years old,

but he's still a stud.

ELISE: (CRYING) I'm unhappy, Maurice.

MAURICE: And I'm going to get you that coffee.

ANNIE: Oh, honey. I think I should go.

AARON: Okay. I know.

ANNIE: Tomorrow...we could start moving your things

back in. I mean, if that's okay. It's

just, oh, sweetie...


ANNIE: ...I hated seeing your side of the closet

all empty. You know, Dr. Rosen...

ANNIE: (OFF) ...she would be so proud of us. I

wish she were here.

ANNIE: Well, not literally. But I just can't wait

to tell her how we worked everything out.

It's like...we should get therapy gold

stars.

AARON: (OFF) Oh, Annie...

AARON: I love you.

AARON: Come here.

ANNIE: Yes?

(THEY KISS)

ANNIE: Aaron... Oh, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, I love

you.

AARON: I want a divorce.

ANNIE: But...

AARON: Stay calm.

ANNIE: But we just made...

ANNIE: ...love! I mean, you...

ANNIE: ...asked me...out!

AARON: I asked you out to tell you, but, honey, you

looked so great...

AARON: ...and I thought, gee, how romantic, one

last time. A good-bye kiss.

ANNIE: But -- but this wasn't just a kiss!

AARON: Annie, don't be childish! You know how you

manipulate me!

ANNIE: What? Manipulate?

ANNIE: What... Oh, my God!

ANNIE: (OFF) Is there someone else?

AARON: Of course not. This is about...


AARON: (OFF) ...us!

ANNIE: But...

AARON: It's really not you, but...

LESLIE: Babe?

LESLIE: Oh, my God.

ANNIE: Oh, my God.

AARON: Oh, my God.

LESLIE: This is...very awkward.

AARON: No, no, no. Annie was just leaving.

LESLIE: You told her?

AARON: I was totally up front.

ANNIE: What? Excuse me?

LESLIE: Annie, this is rough. I know that.

ANNIE: Rough? Wait a minute. I don't understand.

You're my therapist.

LESLIE: I'm a woman.

ANNIE: (OFF) He is my...

ANNIE: ...husband.

AARON: Annie, we've been separated for months now.

Let's not overdramatize, okay?

LESLIE: Aaron, she's allowed to be angry. Annie

let's use this.

LESLIE: (OFF) He's found someone new.

LESLIE: You are free. Closure.

ANNIE: I'm sorry, but that is not what this is!

LESLIE: Annie. No, no, Annie, you are not helping

us out here.

LESLIE: Now, I'm sorry that it happened this way.

ANNIE: So am I! I am...

ANNIE: ...very sorry I ever met you! And I am

sorry that I allowed myself...

ANNIE: (OFF) ...to love you for all those years!


ANNIE: (OFF) ...I'm sorry I did nothing...

ANNIE: ...but be there for you every minute...

ANNIE: (OFF) ...of every day and...

ANNIE: ...support you in your every move!

ANNIE: (SCREAMING) I'm sorry!

ANNIE: (OFF) Oh, my God...

ANNIE: (READING CYNTHIA'S NOTE) "I wish I had

talent like Elise, or Brenda's humor...or

your strength, Annie. But most of all, I

wish I still had our friendship. Perhaps

Gil isn't the problem." Oh, God. "Perhaps

loneliness is. Please take care of each

other. Love, Cynthia."

CATHERINE: And on such pretty stationary.

ANNIE: I have to make some calls, Mom.

ELISE: God, poor Cynthia.

ANNIE: I know.

ELISE: If only she had called me. If only I were

listed.

ANNIE: (OFF) You know something? She was right.

She was. In college we were focused and...

ANNIE: ...we were brave. We couldn't wait.

BRENDA: (OFF) It's all over. I'm alone.

ELISE: Brenda.

BRENDA: I don't have anything.

ELISE: (OFF) Brenda, you have...

ELISE: ...a son who adores you. I'm alone. I'm

Monique's mother.

BRENDA: Yes, but Jason's gonna go off to college

pretty soon, and then I'll be even more

alone.

ELISE: Oh, yeah.


BRENDA: Plus I'll be really a lot older, okay?

ELISE: Right, okay. And then if I have any more

plastic surgery I won't be able to sleep.

BRENDA: I'm gonna have to get a job at McDonald's!

ELISE: I'll have to do ads for adult diapers.

BRENDA: I'll have to wear them.

ANNIE: No.

ANNIE: (OFF) I just spent 25 years...

ANNIE: ...with the most self-absorbed, arrogant man

on earth, who is getting married to my

therapist. Who I paid a fortune to lecture

me on self-esteem.

ELISE: Oh, my God.

BRENDA: You win hands down.

ELISE: Worse life.

ANNIE: Well I am not gonna be that woman anymore,

you guys. What has happened to us is

unacceptable.

ELISE: It is unacceptable. You know, I made all

those stupid movies with that Bill! You

know, I gave him a career...

ELISE: (OFF) ...and he stole mine.

ANNIE: Yeah.

BRENDA: I worked behind the cash register in his

first store. In his first 15 stores!

ANNIE: Yeah. Well, I gave him Aaron a home, and I

gave him a daughter. I washed his shorts

and I ironed them and I starched them!

BRENDA: You did?

ANNIE: Yeah, well, I mean, I supervised.

BRENDA: Oh.

ELISE: Yeah, so what, all right...


ELISE: ...what are we saying? What do we want?

Revenge?

ANNIE: No! We are not talking about revenge.

ANNIE: No! I am talking about justice. I'm gonna

give that Aaron so much justice, he won't

even see straight!

ANNIE: If he thinks his partners are trouble...

ELISE: Yeah, well Bill's always had it easy.

ANNIE: That's right.

ELISE: That's right. Let me tell you something,

Bill's had it easy every inch of the way!

Every inch of the way he's had a woman

taking care of him.

ANNIE: So -- exactly.

ELISE: Yeah, and what would happen one day if he

didn't?

ANNIE: (OFF) Okay. What do you think, Brenda?

ANNIE: Huh? What do you think about that?

ELISE: Yeah, what do you think?

BRENDA: (OFF) I love Morty.

ELISE: What?

BRENDA: (OFF) Very deeply.

BRENDA: I wouldn't want to see him hurt...

BRENDA: (OFF) ...or harmed.

ELISE: You don't?

BRENDA: (OFF) I want him...

BRENDA: ...dumped!

BRENDA: By Little Miss Midriff. By that

Stairmastered...

BRENDA: L'Orealed crotch jockey! In front of

everyone in the western hemisphere.

BRENDA: (OFF) On the six o'clock news!


BRENDA: Okay?

ANNIE: (OFF) Brenda!

BRENDA: And after that, of course, I want world

peace.

ELISE: All right. So, all right, let's get

serious. We helped them rise, we can help

them fall.

ANNIE: Oh, but I don't know. How are we gonna do

that? How?

ELISE: What do you mean?

BRENDA: (OFF) Elise, she's right. We're has-beens.

BRENDA: We're hanging on by a thread. We're just

discards.

ELISE: We're not hanging on by a thread and we're

discards! Look at us! By being together,

us, unity!

ELISE: I mean, if all the first wives of the world

got together...

ELISE: (OFF) ...what else do we need?

BRENDA: Just one amazing attorney.

ELISE: No! No! All we need is us!

ELISE: (OFF) Three women who aren't afraid to

fight!

ELISE: To stand up for our dignity! Huh? For our

self esteem! And then we'll let 'em have

it.

ANNIE: Okay. Okay.

ANNIE: See this?

ELISE: What?

ANNIE: Wait. Right here, okay?

ELISE: What?

ANNIE: Look at this. See this?


ANNIE: (OFF) Put it in there.

ANNIE: (OFF) All right...

ANNIE: ...First Wives Club will come to order.

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) Starting the Club was easy.

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) Figuring out what to do

next...

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) ...was considerably harder.

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) We each decided...

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) ...to gather information about

our husbands.

BRENDA: Elise. Elise.

ELISE: Yeah.

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) I went in search of a spy.

BRENDA: (OFF) Why -- why can't we just call Chris

and ask her to help?

ANNIE: I want her to know that I support her

completely, and her, you know, her

lifestyle.

ELISE: I've never been to a gay bar before!

BRENDA: Oh, my God!

ANNIE: Here we go.

ANNIE: Hi! I think you're just...you're terrific.

There you go.

ELISE: (OFF) Oh!

ANNIE: (OFF) Oh, my God! Look at...

ANNIE: ...this. My God. Isn't this great? All

these...

ANNIE: (OFF) ...women?

BRENDA: Yeah. Maybe we'll get lucky.

WOMAN: (OFF) Elise Eliot...

WOMAN: (OFF) ...right?

WOMAN: I mean, like from the movies.


ELISE: Yeah.

WOMAN: I knew you were gay! I told everyone.

WOMAN: (OFF) I said, "Elise Eliot is so hot!"

WOMAN: You are like the most amazing babe on the

planet.

ELISE: Oh, God bless you!

WOMAN: Say, you...you wanna dance?

ELISE: Oh...yeah.

ANNIE: Okay, okay. Hi, sweetie. Hello!

CHRIS: Mom! Mom...hi...

ANNIE: Hi, honey. Darling, we just, uh...wanted to

have a little... What, what? What's the

matter?

BRENDA: She's a...

ANNIE: Anyway, we were -- I thought that we could

have a nice little chat...

ANNIE: ...about our plans.

CHRIS: Mom!...

CHRIS: (OFF) Mom...

CHRIS: ...you know you're in a gay bar?

ANNIE: I know, honey. I know and that's what's so

great. It's very woman-identified and...

ANNIE: (OFF) Oh, by the way, I, uh...

ANNIE: ...I'm Chris' mom.

FRIEND: Are you gay?

BRENDA: Excuse me. Sorry. What's wrong?

SOBBING WOMAN: It's my lover. She left me after 18 years

for some teenager who weighs 12 pounds. I

don't know what I'm gonna do!

BRENDA: Oh, my God! That's just like me and Morty!

SOBBING WOMAN: Who?

BRENDA: Morty.


SOBBING WOMAN: She's butch.

CHRIS: Nail Daddy and those other low lives?

ANNIE: (OFF) No...

ANNIE: ...Chris, I don't mean nail them. I mean

just...teach them and...

ANNIE: (OFF) ...and to help them.

CHRIS: Vaporize them.

ANNIE: Yeah. Sure.

CHRIS: Yes! Yes! Yeah, of course.

CHRIS: I'm in!

ANNIE: Elise.

ANNIE: (TO BRENDA) What happened?

ANNIE: Elise?

ANNIE: (OFF) Elise! Chris is in!

ANNIE: (OFF) Can you believe it?

ANNIE: Mission accomplished. We better go.

BRENDA: Yeah, come on.

WOMAN: (OFF) Hey, hey, hey.

WOMAN: She's staying.

BRENDA: She's with me, babe! Come on, honey, my

place.

ELISE: (OFF) Brenda, you're so possessive!

CHRIS: (OFF) I don't know. It's something I was

thinking about. You know, my resume.

CHRIS: Wouldn't interfere with school. Just

something part-time...

CHRIS: (OFF) ...till I graduate. Come on, Dad.

CHRIS: How about a little nepotism?

AARON: (OFF) I don't know.

AARON: I'll hire you, but I'm just...

AARON: ...I'm surprised. I mean, you...you've

never shown any interest in advertising.


CHRIS: (OFF) I know...

CHRIS: Daddy, I'm here to learn.

AARON: Okay. Great.

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) For her part, Elise decided to

pull the rug out from under Bill.

Literally.

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) After all, it was his lawyer's

idea that she dispose of their common

property.

SECRETARY: Oh, Ms. Eliot, you know how he hates to be

interrupted.

SECRETARY: Please just let me tell him...

SECRETARY: (OFF) ...that you're here.

SECRETARY: (OFF) Ms. Eliot, please? Please?

BILL: (OFF) Elise!

BILL: What a kick. But I'm on with the Coast.

ELISE: (OFF) All the good stuff...

ELISE: ...goes. The Lampico, the Ming vase...

ELISE: (OFF) ...Amari horseman...

ELISE: ...the Faberge eggs, that Winback chair,

that green...

ELISE: (OFF) ...Tiffany lamp.

BILL: Babe? Lisey, what's going on?

ELISE: (OFF) Well, as per your request...

ELISE: ...I'm consolidating all the assets we've

acquired during our marriage...

ELISE: (OFF) ...for liquidation. I think that...

ELISE: ...would include all of these things. I

bought you these antiques.

BILL: You are the best.

ELISE: (OFF) Love tokens. Anniversary gifts.

ELISE: Junk! Here, take that desk, too.


BILL: (OFF) Elise...

BILL: ...this hurts me. I care about you, about

us. About the magic. What exactly is going

on here?

ELISE: (OFF) And this Japanese Secretary.

ELISE: I want that to go.

BILL: Back off, Jack-o! Elise, this isn't right.

BILL: (OFF) It's hormonal. You can't do this.

ELISE: Watch me.

BILL: B-but this is my stuff!

ELISE: (OFF) It's the nineties, Bill.

ELISE: (OFF) Downsize.

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) It was at Jason's bar mitzvah,

two weeks later, that The First Wives Club

got its first big...

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) ...break thanks to...

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) ...Brenda's dear, dear...

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) ...Sicilian...

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) ...Uncle.

BRENDA: Uncle Carmine. My father's side.

BRENDA: (OFF) Morty and I have been planning for

this day...

BRENDA: ...since Jason was born.

ANNIE: I know, but Morty's going to be here,

Brenda.

BRENDA: But not next to me. We're not a family

anymore. It's okay. I'll be fine. I'll be

fine.

SHELLY: Excuse me.

ANNIE: What?

ANNIE: (OFF) He brought her.

BRENDA: To my son's bar mitzvah!


ANNIE: Is she a gift?

CARMINE: Brenda, can I speak freely?

BRENDA: Oh, sure. Annie's cool.

CARMINE: I speak for the entire family and your dear

departed father, my beloved brother, when I

say that Morty...

CARMINE: ...is garbage...

CARMINE: ...and it would be an honor to me to take

him out.

BRENDA: No. No, Uncle Carmine. No. Don't you

dare. Morty "The Garbage" is my problem.

I'll work it out myself somehow. Thanks.

Thanks for the thought anyway, though.

CARMINE: My angel.

CARMINE: For Morty to treat you this way after

everything your father did for him. Where

would he be without him?

CARMINE: You know, the first year he was in business,

every piece of stock in his store...

CARMINE: ...fell off one of our trucks.

BRENDA: You're not serious.

CARMINE: Oh, we were happy to help you newlyweds.

BRENDA: Morty? A crook? My Morty?

CARMINE: Check his books. They're fiction.

Bestsellers.

CARMINE: Ciao.

BRENDA: Ciao.

ANNIE: Bye.

ANNIE: I really liked your uncle.

PHOEBE: Mother! Mother! Where are you?

BILL: (OFF) Over here, bitch.

PHOEBE: (OFF) Mother, I met a man. He's an angel.


PHOEBE: He's a god. He's a doctor!

BILL: It's perfect.

PHOEBE: It's like... I really have the part?

BILL: (OFF) Oh, baby, you know it!

PHOEBE: Pizza!

PHOEBE: (OFF) Oh, my God!

BILL: Elise!

ELISE: There's the Liechtenstein.

BILL: What the hell are you doing here?

ELISE: The dine. Take that.

PHOEBE: This is so cool!

ELISE: All of the gym equipment.

BILL: (OFF) Elise, I'm getting a restraining

order.

PHOEBE: No, Bill, this is great! I... Elise, hi,

I'm Phoebe.

PHOEBE: I've seen all your movies and I wanna be

just like you.

PHOEBE: Only me.

ELISE: (OFF) Phoebe, some advice.

ELISE: Be afraid. Be very afraid.

BILL: Phoebe, she's bitter.

ELISE: And take the cappuccino machine.

PHOEBE: Oh, Bill, I have a great idea.

PHOEBE: Wouldn't she be great to play opposite me?

PHOEBE: (OFF) Bill is producing...

PHOEBE: (OFF) ...this new incredible movie with

this young hot director...

PHOEBE: (OFF) ...and I'm gonna be the...

PHOEBE: ...star of it. I'm Monique.

ELISE: What?

PHOEBE: And you can be my Mom!


ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) While Elise cleaned out Bill's

office...

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) ...his loft, and their house

in the Hamptons, Brenda and I looked for an

office. A base of operation for the club.

ELISE: Woah! Hi! Come on in!

BRENDA/ANNIE: (OVERLAPPING) (INDISTINCT AD LIB GREETINGS)

ELISE: (OFF) (CONTINUATION OF AD LIB GREETING)

ANNIE: Just look at what you done with this...

ANNIE: (OFF) This is, uh, early everything, huh?

BRENDA: (OFF) Oh, my goodness...

BRENDA: ...look at this!

BRENDA: Ooh! You know what it says? It says, "I

beat Meryl".

ELISE: It does not! Brenda, put that down.

BRENDA: Is it chocolate inside?

ELISE: No. Put it down.

BRENDA: Okay, okay.

ELISE: Put it gently down. Okay, look at this. Do

you believe this stuff, huh?

ANNIE: (OFF) No.

ELISE: I mean, I don't know what to do with it. I

didn't have any room in my warehouse.

ELISE: I could've put it in that building I own

Downtown.

BRENDA: (OFF) You own...

BRENDA: ...a building?

ELISE: Yeah, I do. I kinda sublet it...

ELISE: (OFF) ...normally, but, um...

ELISE: ...but now it's...vacant.

BRENDA/ELISE/ANNIE: (OVERLAPPING) (INDISTINCT AD LIB BY THE

THREE WOMEN)


ELISE: (OFF) There's a lot of work to be done.

ELISE: And you have to see this the space.

ELISE: Look at this.

BRENDA: (OFF) Huh?

ANNIE: Uh-huh.

ANNIE: Okay. All right, so...this is perfect.

BRENDA: (OFF) Oh, my God! This is fabulous!

ELISE: Our project.

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) While Brenda and I worked like

crazy gathering every piece of information

we could lay our hands on, Elise spent most

of her time on the phone to her agent.

ELISE: (INTO PHONE) Sam Carlin, please. Elise

Eliot calling. Elise Eliot.

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) And finally he came through

for her.

ANNIE: This is a great play!

BRENDA: I told her. I told her she had to do it.

ANNIE: Yeah! I know!

ELISE: I don't want to do theater. I-I haven't

done theater in years! And Bill always said

I shouldn't do theater.

ELISE: He did say that it was bad for my career,

which actually I agree with.

ANNIE: Excuse me, but this is a very great part for

you. This is about a bitter, unloved...

ANNIE: ...emotionally barren woman.

ELISE: (OFF) That's not me!

BRENDA: It's you!

ELISE: Thank you.

(PHONE RINGS)

ANNIE: (INTO PHONE) Hello.


BILL: (OVER PHONE, OFF) This is Bill. Where's

Elise?

ANNIE: It's for you. It's Bill.

ELISE: (INTO PHONE) Hello.

BILL: (OVER PHONE, OFF) Listen to me, you piece

of garbage!

ELISE: (INTO PHONE) Oh, I can't hear you.

BILL: (INTO PHONE, OFF) I'll sue you. I'll break

you!

BILL: You vindictive sack of silicone!

BILL: (OVER PHONE, OFF) It's my car, you piece of

plastic!

ELISE: (INTO PHONE) Oh, darn.

ELISE: Bill. Lamborghini.

ANNIE: The Lamborghini.

ELISE: He's mad. Ooh.

BRENDA: (OFF) Elise, can I ask you a question?

BRENDA: Look at you. Aren't you frustrated? You

climb and you climb and you don't get

anywhere.

ELISE: (OFF) Oh, I love it.

ELISE: It burns off the booze. And you wanna know

something?

ELISE: I tell you, I get my best ideas when I'm

working out.

BRENDA: You? You've got ideas?

ELISE: It clears out my head, you know? I think

straight. Everything just makes sense.

ANNIE: You better start thinking, because we need

Morty's books to prove fraud. Where do

you...

ANNIE: (OFF) ...think they are?


BRENDA: I know where they are! Morty just...

BRENDA: (OFF) ...bought Shelly a penthouse. That's

where everything is.

BRENDA: But we have to figure out how to get...

BRENDA: (OFF) ...in!

ELISE: Duarto.

BRENDA & ANNIE: Duarto?

ELISE: (OFF) Yeah. Shelly has a new apartment.

It needs to be decorated.

BRENDA: She's right, she does get ideas!

SHELLY: (INTO PHONE) Gunilla? I'd adore it!

SHELLY: (INTO PHONE, OFF) Enchante. Au revoir,

chéri.

SHELLY: Gunilla Garson-Goldberg personally calling

me to invite me to one of her super social

lunches!

MORTY: Why?

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) Gunilla Goldberg was happy to

help us with our little plan. She being a

first...

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) ...wife herself. Indeed,

Gunilla was a first, second, third...

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) ...and fourth wife...

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) ...which accounted for her

very comfortable...

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) ...surroundings.

SHELLY: This is delicious.

GUNILLA: Good.

SHELLY: You know, usually I bring my own dressing...

SHELLY: ...that fat free Ranch stuff...but this is

restaurant quality!

GUNILLA: Thank you.


SHELLY: (OFF) Can I say something? When I first

got your call, I said to Morty...

SHELLY: ...I said... "This just feels so right. Me

and...

SHELLY: (OFF) ...Gunilla." See, I used to work for

Morty. I was his -- I was his executive

assistant behind the counter.

SHELLY: Of course, he was married to that nightmare

then, Brenda. I mean, completely class free

dumpster woman.

SHELLY: (OFF) I said to him, "Morty, you've

gotta...

SHELLY: ...move on and move up." And now, here I

am! Taste Central.

GUNILLA: You know, well, you know the moment I saw

you, my first impression was I thought,

"She's someone. She's something."

SHELLY: (OFF) See...

SHELLY: ...that's what I told him. But he doesn't

get it!

SHELLY: He doesn't get a lot of things.

GUNILLA: Are you finished?

SHELLY: Oh, yeah.

SHELLY: (OFF) I'm done.

GUNILLA: Take the fork.

GUNILLA: Fork!

SHELLY: Oh.

GUNILLA: (OFF) You know, all you need to take your

place in society is...

GUNILLA: ...perhaps a few words of advice. You know,

and a guiding hand.

SHELLY: Like such as wh-what?


GUNILLA: (OFF) Well, you know, the correct...

GUNILLA: ...florist and the utterly ideal chef. And

of course a decorator...of death.

GUNILLA: (OFF) See, your house is your calling card.

It has to be perfected.

GUNILLA: Photographed. Published.

SHELLY: (OFF) Oh, my God.

SHELLY: Can you really help me? I would kill for

that!

GUNILLA: That's unnecessary. No, just, just two

words... Duarto Feliz.

GUNILLA: (OFF) He is...

GUNILLA: ...a genius. A gem.

GUNILLA: Of course, he's almost impossible to get.

He works all the time.

SHELLY: (OFF) Oh, my God!

BRENDA: (OFF) There she is.

ANNIE: Huh?

BRENDA: Princess Pelvis.

ELISE: Gunilla said she went for it.

BRENDA: How fabulous.

ELISE: All right, Johnny, let's go.

ANNIE: (OFF) So... Duarto makes his move and

Shelly falls for it. Now, let's synchronize

our watches.

BRENDA: (OFF) This is just like Mission:

Impossible.

ELISE: (OFF) Oh, that was a big hit.

MORTY: You know, these people are always late.

SHELLY: God, shut up, Morty! Just stay shut up,

okay?

MORTY: Easy...


SHELLY: Oh, what if he doesn't like us? What if he

says no?

MORTY: He's gonna like us. What are you worried

about?

SHELLY: Oh, God! Quick, fix it.

MORTY: Go on. All right. Go on.

SHELLY: Hello. Please, do come in..

SHELLY: (OFF) It's an honor...

SHELLY: ...and beyond.

DUARTO: Gunilla Garson-Goldberg...

DUARTO: ...informs me that you are my new best

friend.

SHELLY: I hope.

DUARTO: Duarto Feliz.

DUARTO: May I?

SHELLY: Oh, please.

DUARTO: Extraordinary.

DUARTO: (OFF) Interesting...

DUARTO: ...little touches everywhere.

SHELLY: What?

DUARTO: That...

DUARTO: ...chair is...agony!

SHELLY: Oh, God, Morty, do something.

MORTY: What do you want me to do?

SHELLY: I don't know.

SHELLY: (OFF) Just cover it up. Just...

SHELLY: ...get rid of it!

MORTY: Take it easy. Take it easy.

DUARTO: It's this chair.

SHELLY: I don't want that chair.

DUARTO: Oh, thanks ever so much.

DUARTO: (OFF) Now then...


DUARTO: ...I feel...

SHELLY: You feel...

DUARTO: Light.

DUARTO: Get out.

MORTY: What?

DUARTO: I need to be alone...

DUARTO: ...in this space for an hour, at least. It

is very delicate. I must bond.

SHELLY: We understand.

DUARTO: I must...

DUARTO: (OFF) ...have total access.

DUARTO: What is upstairs?

SHELLY: That's just the office, uh...le office.

MORTY: (OFF) Stay out of...

MORTY: ...le office.

DUARTO: Leave me! One hour! One hour! One hour!

Thank you!

SHELLY: Oh! Bye-bye.

DUARTO: Girls!

DUARTO: Girls!

BRENDA: (OFF) Oh, my knee!

ELISE: We don't have much time.

ANNIE: (OFF) No, all right, come on! No!

ELISE: Brenda, don't worry.

ELISE: Don't worry.

ANNIE: Hurry! Hurry!

ELISE: Don't look.

ANNIE: In here!

ELISE: (OFF) What's in here?

ANNIE: Oh.

ELISE: Here we go. In here. Come on.

ELISE: Oh, Brenda!


DUARTO: Listen, uh...

DUARTO: ...there's an office upstairs.

ELISE: There's an office upstairs.

ELISE: (OFF) Let's go upstairs.

ANNIE: (OFF) Good girl.

ELISE: (OFF) I feel dizzy!

BRENDA: Annie, you check the computer...

BRENDA: (OFF) I'll check the files.

BRENDA: (OFF) I need the key. Where's the key?

DUARTO: (INTO PHONE) Hello.

GUNILLA: (OVER PHONE, OFF) Ready.

ANNIE: (OFF) Come on tax returns!

ANNIE: (OFF) What is this stuff?

BRENDA: (OFF) I got them!

SHELLY: (OFF) Come on. Hustle, Morty.

GUNILLA: (INTO PHONE) Social climbers on the rise.

DUARTO: Oh, God!

DUARTO: They're back!

DUARTO: They're back! They're back!

BRENDA: Stall them.

DUARTO: With what? With what?

BRENDA: Make something up. Improvise, Improvise.

What's the matter with you?

DUARTO: I can't improvise!

ELISE: I got the files. I'm putting the files

right in here.

BRENDA: Keep them away from the front door.

ANNIE: I'm clean! I'm clean! I'm clean!

BRENDA: Slap her. Slap her.

DUARTO: Hello.


SHELLY: I know you said an hour, but I was freezing

down there and I couldn't to stay away.

Tell me everything.

MORTY: How much?

DUARTO: Well, I'll tell you what. We're gonna...

DUARTO: (OFF) ...go look out the living room...

DUARTO: ...window! Why? Because. I'll tell you

why. The windows are the eyes of our room.

MORTY: So?

SHELLY: (OFF) Oh, Duarto...

DUARTO: (OFF) The valance...

DUARTO: ...the valance is our...

DUARTO: (OFF) ...eyebrows.

DUARTO: The drapes are...

MORTY: I gotta pee.

SHELLY: Morty.

DUARTO: No, no you can't...

DUARTO: (OFF) ...you can't.

SHELLY: (OFF) Wait.

DUARTO: Where was I?

DUARTO: (OFF) The eyelashes!

SHELLY: (OFF) But I thought you said the windows

were the eyelashes...

ELISE: What do we do? Where do we go?

BRENDA: (MOUTHS THE WORDS) The window. Come on.

ELISE: All right, what do we do now? Come on.

What do we do? What?

BRENDA: Okay, okay.

BRENDA: We're gonna get in this window washing thing

and we're going down.

ELISE: Oh, Brenda.

ELISE: Shh. Annie.


BRENDA: Shh, shh, shh.

ELISE: Annie, we've gotta go down, honey. It's the

only way out!

ANNIE: No, you don't understand. I have a fear of

everything.

BRENDA: Annie, quiet. We gotta go now. Come on,

you're the new Annie.

ELISE: (OFF) Annie, watch! Watch, Annie! Watch!

I'm going in first. (INDISTINCT/OVERLAPPING

AD LIBS ON SCAFFOLDING)

BRENDA: (OFF) Gimme the control! Gimme the

control!

ANNIE: I can't stand it! I can't stand it!

BRENDA: Here goes.

SHELLY: (MUTTERING, INDISTINCT)

DUARTO: (OFF) ...my inspiration. The white...

DUARTO: (OFF) ...of the snow pelting the trees of

Central Park.

DUARTO: (OFF) The yellow of the taxis. The blue...

DUARTO: But -- but...

DUARTO: ...who cares...

DUARTO: ...about blue? No one could ever feel blue

when...

DUARTO: ...they see what I'm going to design next.

Forget about that...

DUARTO: ...because we got some-look at right now

here --

MORTY: What about the drapes there?

DUARTO: The window meeting is over! It's time to

consider the stairs!

MORTY: (OFF) What about that dumb fountain?

DUARTO: (OFF) Well, I rather like it.


MORTY: I'd rather look at the window.

DUARTO: No!

WOMAN: Oh, my God!

MAN: (OFF) Is that Elise...

MAN: ...Eliot?

WOMAN: (OFF) Elise...

WOMAN: ...you look great!

MAN & WOMAN: You look great!

GUNILLA: Oh, God!

BRENDA: I can't take this anymore!

BRENDA: Gimme that control!

BRENDA: You wanna go again?

ELISE: (OFF) Oh, my God!

ANNIE: (OFF) Stop it! I have never been so

petrified in my life! No, really, really.

ANNIE: Oh, oh, except that one time... Oh, never

mind, I'm not gonna tell you.

BRENDA: Why not? We're not gonna judge you.

ELISE: Of course not. Tell us.

BRENDA: We're your friends. We're your buddies. We

love and cherish you. We would never...

BRENDA: (OFF) ...ever make fun of you.

ELISE: (OFF) Ever.

BRENDA: Would we, hon?

ELISE: No.

ANNIE: (OFF) Well, okay...

ANNIE: (OFF) All right.

ANNIE: You know, you remember...it was Cynthia's

birthday, her 21st...

ANNIE: ...remember?

BRENDA: Oh, no...


ANNIE: And her parents rented that big hall. And

we were supposed to do something special for

her. And Elise thought that we should be

the entertainment. We were supposed to sing

to her like...

ANNIE: ...a girl group.

ELISE: That's right.

BRENDA: (OFF) We sang that Leslie...

BRENDA: ...Gore song, remember? We were a big hit.

Big hit.

ANNIE: (OFF) I hated it. I totally hated it.

ANNIE: I can't sing. I was totally terrified in

front of all those people, I'd rather go

right up that building and just jump!

BRENDA: (OFF) Oh, my God!

ELISE: But you were wonderful.

ANNIE: (OFF) Well, no...

ANNIE: ...but it was for Cynthia.

ANNIE: (OFF) It was -- I remember that.

BRENDA: (OFF) Annie, we were a group.

BRENDA: We are a group. You know, we should do it

again. We should sing again.

ELISE: (OFF) Let's do it again. I wanna sing.

BRENDA: Why? Why not? Come on, we'll blend. We'll

sing with you.

ELISE: We'll blend!

ELISE: (OFF) Come on.

ANNIE: But all of us altogether, real loud, okay?

You're gonna sing with me, all right?

BRENDA: (OFF) Oh, yes.

ELISE: To Cynthia. Happy birthday wherever you

are.


ELISE: Cynthia.

BRENDA: All right, I'm ready.

BRENDA: (OFF) Pick a note.

ELISE: Uh...

ANNIE: You guys! Don't do this to me!

ANNIE: I sound horrible! I hate you!

CHRIS: (OVER ANSWERING MACHINE) Hi, Mom. It's

your little spy at the ad agency. Look, I

can't really talk right now, but have I got

news for you. I think it's time you got

back into the advertising business. Call

me.

ANNIE: (OVER ANSWERING MACHINE) Bren? Brenda,

Annie. Listen to this. Aaron's partners

want to sell their share of the advertising

agency. I mean, I could... I could buy

this if I had the money. Can you imagine?

Oh, God. Oh, God, Aaron would die.

BRENDA: (VOICE OVER) Elise, this is Brenda. Annie

needs to make a down payment on an

advertising agency. Any idea where she

could get that kind of money?

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) So Elise sold me all of Bill's

things for an extremely reasonable price.

And I, in turn, put it all up for auction.

AUCTIONEER: (OFF) Your sale has generated a great deal

of excitement, Mrs. Paradis.

ANNIE: (OFF) Well, uh, I'm trying to raise funds

for my organization...

ANNIE: ...actually.

AUCTIONEER: However, I must warn you that some lots may

fail to sell.


ANNIE: Oh, I wouldn't worry about that.

AUCTIONEER: (OFF) I have 380 thousand dollars for

the...

AUCTIONEER: (OFF) Liechtenstein. 380 thousand, selling

then. Fair...

AUCTIONEER: (OFF) ...warning of 380 thousand dollars.

AUCTIONEER: Paddle 372.

SHELLY: (OFF) 380...

SHELLY: ...thousand dollars for that?

AUCTIONEER: Lot 55 is the Louis Chaise canapé-shaped...

AUCTIONEER: (OFF) ...here on my left. And I have 45

thousand dollars on the telephone...

AUCTIONEER: (OFF) ...to start this now. 45 thousand.

DUARTO: Oh, it's gorgeous. Absolutely sublime.

SHELLY: It doesn't look very...

SHELLY: (OFF) ...comfy. Morty likes his recliner.

AUCTIONEER: ...now at 48 thousand dollars. 50 thousand

is the best now.

AUCTIONEER: (OFF) 50 thousand dollars. 55 thousand

dollars, the lady's bid up front.

SHELLY: Oh, my God! Did you see who bid? That --

that's Elise Eliot!

GUNILLA: (OFF) She has impeccable taste.

GUNILLA: For an actress.

AUCTIONEER: For 55 thousand dollars.

AUCTIONEER: (OFF) A warning then at fifty...

AUCTIONEER: (OFF) ...five thousand dollars.

GUNILLA: That's a fabulous chaise.

SHELLY: Oh, I don't know.

DUARTO: (OFF) That...

DUARTO: ...sofa? Architectural Digest. The cover.

SHELLY: Really?


GUNILLA: (OFF) You?

GUNILLA: Guaranteed.

AUCTIONEER: 60 thousand dollars, this side. New bidder

now at...

AUCTIONEER: (OFF) ...60 thousand, and selling that

then.

AUCTIONEER: (OFF) Lot's yours here, madam, at 60

thousand dollars.

AUCTIONEER: You, Madame, 60 thousand dollars.

SHELLY: (OFF) I got...

SHELLY: ...a chaise.

DUARTO: Beautiful!

AUCTIONEER: (OFF) Lot 57...

AUCTIONEER: ...the fine Yung Che charger showing here

at...

AUCTIONEER: (OFF) ...90 thousand dollars to start.

AUCTIONEER: (OFF) 90 thousand the bid. Thank you, sir,

at 90 thousand. 100 thousand dollars.

AUCTIONEER: (OFF) New bidder now. 110 thousand

dollars, the lady's bid here now. 110.

AUCTIONEER: (OFF) 115 thousand...

AUCTIONEER: ...dollars. Thank you, sir. 115 thousand

dollars now.

SHELLY: It's cute.

GUNILLA: Oh, that's sublime.

DUARTO: Essential.

GUNILLA: Oxygen.

AUCTIONEER: (OFF) 125 thousand dollars.

AUCTIONEER: The lady's bid now at 125.

AUCTIONEER: (OFF) Need a new face now. One hundred and

twenty...

AUCTIONEER: (OFF) ...five thousand up front.


AUCTIONEER: (OFF) 130 thousand...

AUCTIONEER: (OFF) ...dollars. New bidder up front.

SHELLY: It's Elise Eliot. She must be very rich.

DUARTO: Show business.

GUNILLA: Teach her a lesson. Come on.

AUCTIONEER: ...here now at 130. Fair warning...

AUCTIONEER: ...then at 130 thousand dollars.

AUCTIONEER: (OFF) One thirty. 135 thousand...

AUCTIONEER: (OFF) ...at the back. New bidder...

AUCTIONEER: (OFF) ...now at 135...

AUCTIONEER: (OFF) ...thousand 270-dollars. 135

thousand. Lady's bid at the back.

SHELLY: (OFF) Who is she? She looks familiar.

DUARTO: It's just someone very, very glamorous.

GUNILLA: Probably Euro-trash. Oh, Shelly, I forbid

you to let that plate leave the country.

SHELLY: But it's Japanese.

GUNILLA: Don't they have enough?

AUCTIONEER: ...135 thousand. The bidder's here...

AUCTIONEER: (OFF) ...at the back at 135 thousand.

Lady's bid at the back at...

AUCTIONEER: (OFF) ...135 thousand.

AUCTIONEER: (OFF) Lady's bid at the back.

AUCTIONEER: (OFF) 135 thousand.


AUCTIONEER: (OFF) Lady's bid at the back.

GUNILLA: Jackie O had one just like it.

AUCTIONEER: 135 thousand...

AUCTIONEER: (OFF) ...dollars up front now at 140

thousand dollars.

AUCTIONEER: Here again and against you at the back,

Madame.



AUCTIONEER: (OFF) Selling it then at 140 thousand.

AUCTIONEER: (OFF) For you, Madame, paddle 560.

SHELLY: (OFF) Thank you. Thank you.

MORTY: (OFF) What happened here?

MORTY: (OFF) 140 thousand dollars for a plate? 47

thousand dollars for a carpet? A used

carpet?

MORTY: 300 thousand dollars for a Lamborghini? Are

you crazy?

SHELLY: I bought the car for you. It was only 300

grand. It was a gift!

MORTY: With my money you bought it! I bought me

the gift!

SHELLY: Jesus, Morty, all I want is a lifestyle, you

know?

SHELLY: With some ambiance and -- and some classic

eternal good taste.

MORTY: But not for...

MORTY: (OFF) 300 thousand dollars...

MORTY: Shelly!

SHELLY: (OFF) Well, I can leave if you like. It's

not like you've asked me to marry you.

SHELLY: Would you...unzip me?

SHELLY: Thank you.

MORTY: Shell, I lost my temper.

MORTY: (OFF) I'm sorry. The Lamborghini is a very

good deal.

BRENDA: (OFF) Hi, Jas. How was the game?

JASON: The Knicks lose again.


BRENDA: Oh, every player on that team is a

millionaire. They can't really lose. What

do you think?

JASON: (OFF) That's not new, is it?

BRENDA: It's better than new! It's the first time

I've been able to get into it in three

years! Look at me! I have a waist! I have

legs!

BRENDA: Who knew? How's your father? Did you have

fun?

JASON: (OFF) Yeah. But don't let that bother you.

BRENDA: (OFF) What a thing to say. Jason...

BRENDA: ...look, I remember what it was like when we

were a family. It was great. But even

though we're not together anymore...

BRENDA: (OFF) ...you still have both of us.

JASON: Come on, Mom. You guys can't even pick out

my birthday card without a lawyer.

BRENDA: (OFF) ...Jason...

BRENDA: ...I know you worry about your father. He's

a...he's a very good man. He's a very good,

very confused man. And I know you worry

about me.

BRENDA: But you don't have to because I'm gonna be

fine. I'm lightening up, literally. And

you know what? Your father and I, we love

you...

BRENDA: ...to pieces. Okay?

BRENDA: There, did I embarrass you...

BRENDA: (OFF) ...enough?

JASON: Almost.

BRENDA: Wanna go to a movie? Me and you?


BRENDA: (OFF) Together in public?

JASON: Mom, I'm sorry. I guess I was just a little

freaked out about Dad getting engaged to

Shelly.

BRENDA: Oh, well... Yeah, I-I can see where that

would rip your heart out.

JASON: Thanks, Mom.

ELISE: We gotta nail Bill. We gotta...slaughter

him.

ELISE: (OFF) Right off the face of the planet.

Him and that tramp! That infant.

ELISE: Oh, I need a drink.

BRENDA: (OFF) She's...

BRENDA: loaded!

ANNIE: I know. Brenda, I'm really worried. You

know, she had me look at Bill's records, and

the guy is a saint. He's clean.

BRENDA: He's a saint with a great lawyer...

BRENDA: (OFF) ...that's all.

ELISE: What?

BRENDA: What? Huh?

ELISE: What are you saying, you can't find anything

on him?

ANNIE: (OFF) Well, God...

ANNIE: Elise, I'm really sorry, and I'm going to

look again.

ELISE: This isn't fair, man! I mean...

ELISE: ...you're gonna, you know, I mean Aaron is

gonna be massacred, Morty's not gonna know

what hit him and Bill's just gonna walk

away...with alimony!

ANNIE: Well, we're just going to keep trying...


ANNIE: (OFF) ...Elise.

ELISE: Well, you better keep trying, because this

is my life, okay? And my money.

ELISE: (OFF) What do you know?

ELISE: You don't get it. You're civilians.

ELISE: (OFF) You're just housewives.

BRENDA: That's it.

ANNIE: No, wait.

ELISE: You never understand me.

ELISE: Gimme that.

ELISE: (OFF) Excuse me.

ELISE: Give that back.

BRENDA: (OFF) I'm saying this to you with love,

compassion, in the spirit of true

sisterhood.

BRENDA: You are full of shit!

ELISE: What?

BRENDA: So okay, alimony sucks. Okay...

BRENDA: (OFF) ...you didn't get to play a

policewoman in a Wonder-Bra. But look at

you! You grew up gorgeous. And thanks to

Cher's pioneering...

BRENDA: (OFF) ...efforts you still haven't hit

puberty! And...

BRENDA: ...once upon a time you were a terrific

actress! You even got an...

BRENDA: ...Oscar to prove it! You spent your whole

life with people sucking up to you!

BRENDA: I'm sure Annie will agree with me when I say

your perception of life is somewhat altered!

ELISE: Annie, do you agree with her?

BRENDA: Well? Go on!


ANNIE: I don't -- Brenda, she's very upset.

BRENDA: Two pinheads.

ELISE: Wait. Wait a minute. You got some nerve!

I drink because I am a sensitive and highly

strung person.

BRENDA: No...

BRENDA: ...that's why your co-stars drink.

ELISE: I am not a drunk!

BRENDA: Oh, really? Let's examine the evidence.

BRENDA: Look! All bottles!

BRENDA: (OFF) And gallons of...

BRENDA: ...jugs!

ELISE: I had guests.

BRENDA: Who? Guns 'N' Roses?

ANNIE: (OFF) Come on you two. Come on now.

ANNIE: The enemy is out there, it's not in here. I

thought we were friends.

ELISE: (OF) Oh, really? Oh, yeah?

ELISE: After all those years? You never called me.

ANNIE: Well...

ANNIE: (OFF) ...you're unlisted.

ELISE: (OFF) And you always...

ELISE: ...gossip behind my back!

BRENDA: (OFF) Oh...

BRENDA: ...you deserve it.

ELISE: You didn't invite...

ELISE: ...me to your son's bar mitzvah!

BRENDA: You wouldn't have come!

ANNIE: (OFF) And it was in Hebrew!

BRENDA: Oh, shut up!

ELISE: You think just because I'm a movie star, I

don't have feelings. Well, you're wrong!


ELISE: (OFF) ...I do have feelings!

ELISE: I'm an actress! I have all of them!

BRENDA: (OFF) Oh, I wouldn't understand.

BRENDA: You see, I'm just a poor little housewife,

in a little apron, with a little child to

raise!

ELISE: Yeah, well you were always jealous of me.

Even in college. Because I was blonde and

beautiful and talented, and I could have any

guy I wanted.

BRENDA: And did! Every guy! Most of the senior

class and half the faculty!

ELISE: Well, it was the sixties.

BRENDA: Look at this place! Is this where your fan

club meets? You have ritual sacrifices?

ELISE: Put that down.

ELISE: (OFF) Put that...

ELISE: ...down. I won that!

BRENDA: I remember.

BRENDA: Your first talkie.

ELISE: (OFF) What did you ever win?

ELISE: A pie eating contest? Best Digestion?

ELISE: (OFF) Oh, no... Brenda!

ELISE: (OFF) This is a Golden Globe!

ELISE: It's sacred! It's trademarked!

ANNIE: No!

BRENDA: Are you crazy?

ANNIE: (OFF) Stop it, both of you! Just...

ANNIE: ...stop this right this minute!

ELISE: (OFF) Annie.

ANNIE: What?


ELISE: You choose. Who's your friend? Me or

Brenda?

ANNIE: What?

BRENDA: Yeah, for once in your life make...

BRENDA: (OFF) ...a decision. Who's your buddy?

BRENDA: Some Beverly Hills science project?

ELISE: (OFF) Or a woman with her own...

ELISE: ...aisle at the supermarket?

ANNIE: (OFF) I'm sorry...

ANNIE: (OFF) ...but I'm not getting involved in

this.

ANNIE: (OFF) You both have...

ANNIE: ...severe psychological problems. I...you

see... I'm... I'm the nice one here.

ANNIE: (OFF) I'm... I'm not like this.

ELISE: What?

ANNIE: Yeah. Well, I mean...

ELISE: The nice one? Oh, my God!

BRENDA: You mean...

BRENDA: ...the rag mop, don't you?

ELISE: Excuse me? I mean, the one who can't manage

a simple declarative sentence?

BRENDA: The wimp?

ELISE: (OFF) The wuss?

ANNIE: Well, I... I've changed and... I'm much

stronger than I used to be.

ELISE: (OFF) Oh, you are self-righteous! You pip

squeak!

BRENDA: (OFF) Oh, shut up...

BRENDA: ...you arthritic sex kitten!

ELISE: Oh, shut up, Morty's girl!

BRENDA: Monique's Mom!


ANNIE: Stop it!

ANNIE: (OFF) You're both...

ANNIE: ...selfish assholes!

ELISE: Oh, my face! Oh, my God!

ANNIE: (OFF) That is enough!

ANNIE: Have we forgotten what we're doing here?

ANNIE: (OFF) What has happened to us?

ANNIE: I thought we were supposed to be helping

each other...

ANNIE: (OFF) ...not ripping each other to threads!

BRENDA: She's right. You know, I gotta say I... I

always wondered. How...how drunk do you

think Cynthia was when she decided to do a

jack-knife onto Park Avenue?

ANNIE: Oh, Mom.

CATHERINE: What's wrong? I came right over.

ANNIE: Things are not working out the way I

planned.

CATHERINE: And you called me? Oh, my God!

ANNIE: I don't know. It's just completely...you

know, falling apart. We're at each others'

throats. And I feel like...it's just like

it's all...my fault.

ANNIE: I'm just useless.

CHRIS: (OFF) You are...

CHRIS: ...not.

ANNIE: (OFF) Honey, I am.

CHRIS: Mom, no.

ANNIE: (OFF) I know it.

CHRIS: Look, the past few weeks you've been a

totally different person.


CHRIS: (OFF) You've stopped apologizing for

yourself all the time.

ANNIE: I know. I'm sorry. It's just...this whole

First Wives Club thing, it can't work. And

you know what? It just -- it never...

ANNIE: (OFF) ...could work.

CHRIS: You'll make it work. It can. You can make

it work. Call -- call Brenda and Elise.

ANNIE: (OFF) Oh...

ANNIE: ...I can't call them. What am I gonna say

to them? This is just -- I'm telling you, I

should've seen this.

ANNIE: (OFF) I should've seen this coming.

CATHERINE: I know.

ANNIE: (OFF) What?

CATHERINE: Why don't you write each of them a nice

note.

CATHERINE: Or -- or maybe send a hanging plant?

CATHERINE: Just a suggestion.

ANNIE: No, Mom. Uh-uh.

ANNIE: No. It's over. It's over.

ELISE: Brenda?

ELISE: ...I don't wanna be like Cynthia.

ELISE: I'm sorry.

BRENDA: (OFF) Oh, that's okay.

BRENDA: (OFF) That's okay. Come on in.

ELISE: Oh, I've never been in your apartment.

BRENDA: I know.

ELISE: It's so real.

BRENDA: (OFF) Annie? Annie?

ELISE: Annie? Annie, what are you doing?


ANNIE: Well, Elise, it's your loft, and I'm just

storing these things, or I'll burn them if

you want.

BRENDA: B-but why?

ANNIE: Why? Are you kidding?

ANNIE: We have just completely embarrassed

ourselves. We've become exactly...

ANNIE: (OFF) ...what the world thinks we are. And

our ex-husbands.

ANNIE: We are the three witches!

BRENDA: Witches?

BRENDA: (OFF) Well, well I'll tell you something.

BRENDA: Witches have powers.

ANNIE: What?

BRENDA: Well, they do. They have powers for good

and for evil.

ELISE: Annie, Brenda and I are okay now. We -- and

we've been talking, and we figured out -- we

think we know what went wrong.

ANNIE: I know what went wrong. This whole crackpot

idea went wrong. Look, revenge and egos and

all of us thinking we could fix our silly

lives!

ELISE: No, no! Exactly. We were thinking too

small.

ANNIE: What are you talking about?

BRENDA: We were just trying to get back at our ex-

husbands. Which is a start...

BRENDA: (OFF) ...but it isn't enough. It's so

petty. It's so limited.


BRENDA: It's no wonder we're snarling at each other.

No wonder we're at each other's throats.

Listen...

BRENDA: (OFF) ...we have to take our plan and...

BRENDA: ...expand it. First thing we take care of

our...

BRENDA: (OFF) ...own guys, because they really have

it coming...

BRENDA: ...and then...then we go global.

ANNIE: How?

ELISE: Are you really interested? 'Cause if you

really are, I'll tell you.

ANNIE: (OFF) I don't know if I'm interested. What

if we erupt again? Or, Elise, what if you

start drinking and, Brenda, you start

sniping away?

ELISE: Been there!

BRENDA: Done that!

ANNIE: (OFF) That's not...

ANNIE: ...enough for me.

BRENDA: Annie, take a good look at Elise. Look at

her.

ELISE: I'm sober. And I'm gonna...

ELISE: (OFF) ...do the play.

ANNIE: Really?

BRENDA: And I'm gonna be there front row opening

night.

ELISE: Thanks.

ELISE: Our friendship is everything, Annie. Don't

leave.

ELISE: (OFF) I mean, we can't fall apart now.

ANNIE: But even if we...


ANNIE: (OFF) ...want to, we don't have enough

information.

ANNIE: 'Course, we do have stuff on -- on Aaron and

Morty. But what about Bill? Elise, you're

still at square one.

ELISE: No, not exactly. I mean, you know. I mean,

I'll admit that so far everything's he's

done has been completely legal.

ANNIE: Yeah.

ELISE: As far as he knows.

ANNIE: What do you mean?

ELISE: Well, it's all a question of angles. Are

you in?

BRENDA: Are you back?

ANNIE: Talk.

BRENDA & ELISE: Well...

BRENDA: After you.

ELISE: Thank you.

ELISE: (OFF) So, here's how it goes.

ELISE: This has to be just between us, but I am

seriously thinking of taking the role of...

ELISE: (OFF) ...Monique's mom.

ELISE: And I've just been thinking about, you know,

who she is, what she's all about. And, you

know, I'm sure you're doing the same thing

with Monique.

PHOEBE: (OFF) Oh...

PHOEBE: ...sure. I mean, I-I've been thinking,

like, streaks...just around my face.

ELISE: Oh...yeah.

ELISE: (OFF) And what a beautiful...


ELISE: ...face. Anyway, the reason I called you is

because if we're gonna work together, I

think that we should get to know one

another.

ELISE: (OFF) It's important.

PHOEBE: (OFF) Bill is so wrong.

PHOEBE: You are not Satan.

ELISE: Oh, stop.

MORTY: Do you need a TV or a VCR or a personal

computer?

MORTY: (OFF) Who's the first name in top-

quality...

MORTY: ...low-cost appliances? Why, let's ask this

beautiful young lady here.

MORTY: Excuse me... Ma'am.

SHELLY: Well, hello.

MORTY: Uh, hello.

SHELLY: Hi. I'm in the market for a low quality,

top-cost appliance.

DIRECTOR: (OFF) Cut.

MORTY: Shelly...

SHELLY: (OFF) What happened?

MORTY: (OFF) ...top-quality...

MORTY: ...low cost.

MORTY: (OFF) Top-quality...

DETECTIVE: Morton Cushman?

MORTY: Yeah. What?

DETECTIVE #2: You have the right to remain silent.

MORTY: What's going on here? I'm shooting a...

MORTY: (OFF) ...commercial! Hey, come on. What's

going on? I'm shooting a commercial...

MORTY: ...here! Hey!


DETECTIVE #2: Federal marshals acting on behalf of the

IRS.

MORTY: Hey, Bobby, call my lawyer!

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) On November 28th, at exactly

1400 hours...

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) ...operation Hell's Fury swung

into action.

AARON: Good morning.

CHRIS: Hi.

AARON: How's my day shaping up?

CHRIS: Oh, poor Daddy...it's gonna be hell. Your

nine o'clock's waiting in the conference

room.

AARON: Okay.

ANNIE: (OFF) So, let's see. What did I say here

now? We'll also bill the expenses incurred

fully...

ANNIE: ...but not limited to...

AARON: What is this?

SECRETARY: (OFF) Uh, Miss Eliot, please?

SECRETARY: I'm begging you...

SECRETARY: (OFF) ...please?

BILL: (INTO PHONE, OFF) Brett, we love the new

draft.

BILL: (INTO PHONE) Well, Phoebe's crazy about it.

She's gonna read it.

BILL: Elise, I'm trying to make a movie here.

ELISE: Hold your calls.

BILL: That was a very important phone call. And

where's my first check?

ELISE: Just sit down and shut up. Okay?

Now...let's take a meeting.


BRENDA: Hello, sunshine.

CARMINE: Welcome.

MORTY: (OFF) This is kidnapping.

MORTY: I will crucify you.

BRENDA: You wanna talk crucifixion?

BRENDA: Happy Easter, Morty.

MORTY: Big deal.

CARMINE: (OFF) Letters...

CARMINE: ...Brenda's father about stocking your

stores with stolen merchandise.

CARMINE: (OFF) What do they call...

CARMINE: ...it in the tabloids?

BRENDA: Hot stuff.

CARMINE: Criminal activity?

CARMINE: (OFF) You should be ashamed.

BRENDA: Wake up and smell the audit.

ANNIE: (OFF) Aaron...

ANNIE: ...I just had a little talk with...

ANNIE: (OFF) ...Eric and Mark, and it seems the...

ANNIE: (OFF) ...business is very dysfunctional.

ANNIE: Sort of like our marriage.

ANNIE: (OFF) So...

ANNIE: I bought them out.

AARON: What?

ERIC: Yeah...

ERIC: I think we probably ought to go, wouldn't

you?

MARK: That's a good idea.

ANNIE: Good-bye, Eric.

ERIC: Annie, good luck to you.

ANNIE: Thank you so much.

ERIC: A pleasure.


MARK: Annie.

ANNIE: Oh, Mark.

MARK: Love you.

ANNIE: I do love that suit.

AARON: You...you couldn't possibly pull off

something like this. Where would you come

up with this kind of money?

ELISE: (OFF) As per our agreement, I sold our

assets to a friend of mine.

ELISE: Here's your...

ELISE: (OFF) ...half.

BILL: Fifty cents?

ELISE: (OFF) Considering our history together...

ELISE: I thought a dollar was...terribly fair.

ELISE: Oh, all right.

ELISE: Take it all.

MORTY: So what do you want, money?

BRENDA: Every cent.

MORTY: You're out of your mind!

BRENDA: Well, you can hand it over...

BRENDA: ...and live happily ever after, or you can

give it to the government and get 10 to 20.

Maybe Duarto can do your cell.

BRENDA: I see...bars.

MORTY: You can't do this to me.

ANNIE: (OFF) Oh...

ANNIE: ...but I have done it.

AARON: (OFF) You wouldn't.

AARON: You couldn't.

ANNIE: Well, it seems I could and...

ANNIE: I did. Oh, and do you know what, Aaron? I

forgot...


ANNIE: (OFF) ...how much fun work can be.

AARON: Look, if you try to take my agency from me,

I'll walk. I'll take all my...

AARON: (OFF) ...clients with me.

ANNIE: Be my guest.

AARON: I'm not kidding...

AARON: ...Annie! I will take every single account!

AARON: This place without me...it'd be worthless.

ANNIE: Oh, I...

ANNIE: ...don't think so, babe.

AARON: Really?

ANNIE: (OFF) Not after the new...

ANNIE: ...45 million dollar account...

ANNIE: (OFF) ...I just landed.

AARON: New account? What account?

BRENDA: (OFF) Morty's Electronics will be under my

control. Advertising, marketing...

BRENDA: ...strategy, everything. You will stay on

as President, because after all...you are

Morty.

BRENDA: (OFF) You will receive a salary which will

keep you in the lifestyle...

BRENDA: ...to which I think you should become

accustomed. Morty, I don't see what else

you can do. It's this...or jail.

BILL: So I dumped you for another woman. Get over

it. Lift something. Wax something. Have

something peeled.

ELISE: (OFF) You're right.

ELISE: I hate to admit it, but I'm... I'm jealous.

ELISE: (OFF) Miss Lavelle is absolutely...

ELISE: ...gorgeous. She's a bright new star.


BILL: (OFF) Interested, Elise?

BILL: Wanna drink her blood?

ELISE: How old is she, Bill? 25?...

ELISE: (OFF) ...26?

BILL: (OFF) Twenty one.

ELISE: Yeah...

ELISE: (OFF) ...in about...

ELISE: ...five years. She's 16.

BILL: What?

ELISE: Two years...

ELISE: (OFF) ...ago she dropped out of a little

high school in Newkirk...

ELISE: (OFF) ...Idaho. You should've done...

ELISE: ...your homework, Bill. I did.

ELISE: (OFF) Oh...a copy of her birth certificate.

BILL: Oh, God. I didn't know. Oh, my God!

BILL: What're you gonna do?

ELISE: Oh, what am I gonna do?

ELISE: (OFF) Well...

ELISE: ...right now... I'm just going to use the

"F" word. Felony!

ANNIE: I think we should continue this discussion

in my office.

AARON: (OFF) In your office?

AARON: Is that all that you can do? Think of

yourself, yourself, yourself? If you go

through with this, I'll have nothing.

Everyone in town is looking for the new guy.

AARON: How can I compete? Who the hell is gonna

want me?

AARON: (OFF) I'm 46 years old?

AARON: (OFF) I'll have to start from scratch.


ANNIE: I know just how you feel.

ANNIE: (OFF) Oh, Aaron...

ANNIE: ...grow from love.

BRENDA: (OFF) Oh, I don't hate you. I wish I

could.

BRENDA: But you're still kinda cute...

BRENDA: (OFF) ...for an overbearing, cradle-

robbing...

BRENDA: Spandex sucking criminal.

BRENDA: (OFF) So I'm not gonna take all your money.

Oh...

BRENDA: ...don't misunderstand, I'm gonna take

plenty. And I'm gonna hang on to these,

'cause I've got a favor to ask.

BRENDA: (OFF) Be there in two hours.

ELISE: While we were married, I helped you. Now

it's your turn to help others.

BILL: Where are you going?

ELISE: To see Barbara Walters.

BILL: Oh, my God!

ELISE: Scared?

BILL: You're not gonna talk about this, are you?

ELISE: Well, that depends on you.

ELISE: Be there, at that address, in two hours.

Babe.

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) You see, what Brenda meant by

thinking "globally" was that it simply

wasn't enough...

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) ...to make our former husbands

suffer. To do the truly charitable,

unselfish thing, we would have to make them

suffer over and over again.


MORTY: So what're you guys in for?

CHRIS: (OFF) Gentlemen...

CHRIS: ...and Daddy.

AARON: Honey?

CHRIS: Hm?

AARON: Can you tell me what's going on? I don't

think I can take any more surprises today.

CHRIS: Oh, Daddy.

CHRIS: I'm a lesbian.

CHRIS: A big one.

ANNIE: (OFF) Gentlemen, we've gathered you here

today for a very specific...

ANNIE: ...reason. This is not about retaliation,

this is not about negotiation...

ANNIE: (OFF) ...and this is not about...

ANNIE: ...men versus women.

MORTY: Yeah, well what is it then? I'm getting

sick...

MORTY: (OFF) ...of this, okay?

AARON: (OFF) Please...

AARON: ...don't make her mad.

ELISE: (OFF) No, no, no, this is...

ELISE: (OFF) ...not a revenge thing.

ELISE: This is about justice. Half-way through

this operation, we realized that the...

ELISE: ...only people that would be helped by

revenge would be us.

ELISE: And then we'd be no better than you.

BRENDA: (OFF) Happier, but no better.

BRENDA: (OFF) Exhilarated, but no better.

BRENDA: Ecstatic, but no better.

ELISE: So we thought again.


ANNIE: (OFF) A...

ANNIE: ...very dear friend of ours died from

neglect.

ELISE: And you're gonna help us make very sure that

that never happens...

ELISE: (OFF) ...again.

MORTY: Like hell we are.

BILL: You can't make us do anything.

BRENDA: (OFF) No.

BRENDA: But Vito can, and Joey can.

ANNIE: And Uncle Carmine can.

MORTY: What do we have to do?

BRENDA: You have to pay.

ELISE: Oh, my god!

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) The funny thing was that...

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) ...by the time we had our

husbands just where we wanted them, revenge

somehow didn't seem so important. So...we

came up with something better.

KATHY LEE: It's a very exciting and important day here

in New York City, and for women everywhere.

We're here at the grand opening of the brand

new Cynthia Swann Griffin Crisis Center for

Women.

KATHY LEE: It's an amazing facility and I'm standing

here talking to...

KATHY LEE: ...three amazing women..

KATHY LEE: Well, you must be very proud. Please tell

me about your facility.

ANNIE: This center is dedicated in loving memory to

our very dear friend Cynthia Swann.


ANNIE: (OFF) We plan on offering counseling,

family therapy, and of course...

ANNIE: ...abuse intervention for all.

KATHY LEE: (OFF) There are so many women in need

here...

KATHY LEE: ...in Manhattan.

ELISE: Absolutely.

KATHY LEE: But I have to ask you. Is it true?

Somebody told me that...

KATHY LEE: ...the idea for this whole thing started

because...

KATHY LEE: ...each of you had a husband that left you

for a younger woman?

ELISE: Oh, yes, yes.

ANNIE: It's true.

BRENDA: Yes, it's true, all right.

KATHY LEE: They really are amazing women. Well good

for you.

KATHY LEE: Congratulations again for all the great work

you've done. New York thanks you.

ELISE & BRENDA & ANNIE: Thank you so much.

MORTY: (OFF) I'm asking you as a...

MORTY: ...favor. Come in for one minute with me.

SHELLY: (OFF) Morty, you know,...

SHELLY: ...we have to talk about the wedding.

MORTY: (OFF) What're you talking about?

MORTY: You won't even set a date!

SHELLY: (OFF) Exactly.

SHELLY: Because this isn't working. I am not

feeling special.

SHELLY: I am not feeling loved. And now this place?

Please...


SHELLY: ...Morty, I am not Brenda.

MORTY: No, you're not.

SHELLY: Duh!

ELISE: Ivana...

ELISE: (OFF) I wanna...

ELISE: ...thank you for coming so much. You're...

ELISE: (OFF) ...an angel.

IVANA: Oh, of course, Elise.

ANNIE: (OFF) Thank you...

ANNIE: ...so much again.

IVANA: (OFF) Ladies, you have to be...

IVANA: ...strong and independent. And remember...

ELISE: What?

IVANA: ...don't get mad, get everything!

ANNIE: Bye-bye.

ELISE: Bye.

BRENDA: (OFF) Bye now.

CARMINE: Mrs. Goldberg?

GUNILLA: (OFF) Yes.

CARMINE: Carmine Morelli.

GUNILLA: (OFF) Oh, yes.

CARMINE: Brenda's uncle.

GUNILLA: Oh, yes, of course.

DUARTO: ...the 18th century...

CATHERINE: Oh, what a wonderful occasion! Helping

people! The buffet!

CHRIS: Mom. Great party.

CATHERINE: You know what I think, Annie? I think this

place is terrific and I think you did the

right thing by getting rid of Aaron.

ANNIE: Mom!

CATHERINE: I salute you.


CATHERINE: I have something to add.

CATHERINE: (OFF) Annie, you're not getting any...

CATHERINE: ...younger or thinner.

CATHERINE: (OFF) You know what I think you need?

ANNIE: No.

CATHERINE: Absolutely nothing.

ANNIE: Oh, Mom.

CATHERINE: My baby.

CHRIS: I love you.

CATHERINE: Sweetheart.

BRENDA: Come on, Jason. Just one time around the

floor.

JASON: (OFF) Come on, Mom, get real.

BRENDA: Look, I'm your mother. I command you. You

gotta have something to tell your shrink.

BRENDA: Look at this. Isn't this fantastic?

MORTY: Hi, kids.

BRENDA: Hi, Morty.

JASON: Dad, save me. She's doing it again. She's

trying to dance with me.

MORTY: Hey, Bren, leave him alone. He's a good

kid.

BRENDA: I know that.

MORTY: Not like his Dad.

BRENDA: What?

JASON: I'm getting out of the line of fire.

MORTY: (OFF) You look good, Bren.

BRENDA: You, too.

MORTY: (OFF) Thank you.

BRENDA: Where's Shell?

MORTY: (OFF) In the car.

BRENDA: Hm. Glove compartment?


MORTY: The trunk.

MORTY: Let me ask you a question. Was I this old

when we were married?

BRENDA: Yes. But I liked you this old.

MORTY: Me, too.

BRENDA: Wanna? Sure.

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) It was pretty clear that

night, that Brenda and Morty were headed for

a reconciliation.

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) Elise was dating an actor in

her hit play. And as for me...

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) ...Aaron and Dr. Rosen split

up. He wants to come....

ANNIE: (VOICE OVER) ...home again. And he feels

emotionally ready to re-commit to an

equitable and caring relationship. I told

him to drop dead.

BILL: Excuse me. Do you have a light?

SHELLY: Sure.

BILL: Nice car. I used to have one myself.

SHELLY: Thanks. So what's going on in there? It's

just a lot of battered women dancing around,

or what?

BILL: Yeah, sort of. Not really my scene.

SHELLY: Me neither.

BILL: So, are you here with anybody?

SHELLY: Not really.

BILL: How old are you?

ANNIE: (OFF) Look at this place. It's just a

total mess.

BRENDA: (OFF) But a gorgeous mess.

ELISE: (OFF) Just like us.


ANNIE: (OFF) You know, I can't believe it. We

actually did it. We actually accomplished

something together. We did it.

ELISE: Oh, God, I wish Cynthia was here right now.

ANNIE: (OFF) Well, she is.

ANNIE: She is in a way.

ELISE: I know.

BRENDA: Okay, we're women of the nineties. What is

it that we really, really need?

ANNIE: (OFF) You know, Brenda, you are....

ANNIE: ...never going to change.

BRENDA: (OFF) And I hope not.

BRENDA: I hope none of us ever change. I hope we

always...

BRENDA: (OFF) ...stay the same, tired...

BRENDA: ...and happy.

ELISE: And maybe a little bit brave.

BRENDA: Brave?

BRENDA: (OFF) You mean...

BRENDA: ...brave.

ANNIE: (OFF) Huh?

ANNIE: Like, what do you mean?

BRENDA: You don't own me.

ANNIE: You're not funny.

ANNIE: No way. I'm out.

ANNIE: (OFF) Stop that!

ANNIE: No! I'm not gonna si -- Leave me alone!

No!

ANNIE: No. Okay. Okay.

BRENDA: Hm?

ELISE: Hm?

ANNIE: And....


ANNIE: ...don't tell me what to do, don't tell me

what to say. And when I go out with you...

ANNIE: ...don't put me on display!

ELISE: Pretty good.

BRENDA: You remembered!

THE END

Documents

FIRST WIVES CLUB›” 25일(금)_조강지처 클럽.pdf · stay over. Where were you last night? ANNIE: Oh, I was in, I was at a friend's. CHRIS: You were with that man again, weren't