About the Author

If you look at my LinkedIn profile, my specialty is turning around and

leading complex IT Projects by acting as a communications bridge

between IT and Business.

If you ask my clients, I’m the glue that keeps their projects moving and

project members motivated.

If you ask the Chicago startup community, I’m an avid blogger and people

connector who has helped numerous people find new jobs and

opportunities.

If you ask my friends, I’m a career advisor who has helped them negotiate

substantial raises.

If you ask my blog readers, I’m a sarcastic, passionate writer who loves to

rant on random topics.

Contents

About  the  Author  .......................................................................................................  1  

Contents  ........................................................................................................................  3  

Dedication  ....................................................................................................................  6  

Preface  ..........................................................................................................................  7  

Foreword  by  Seth  Kravitz  ....................................................................................  10  

Month  1  –  Meets  Expectations  Never  Felt  So  Good  ......................................  12  

Don’t  Hate  the  Player,  Hate  the  Game  ...............................................  13  

Working  With  Difficult  People  .............................................................  17  

Are  You  Smarter  Than  Your  Boss?  ......................................................  24  

Loyalty  is  Dead  and  My  Boss  Killed  It  ................................................  27  

Action  Plan:  “Meets  Expectations  Never  Felt  So  Good”  ................  30  

Everything  You  Need  to  Know  About…  .............................................  49  

Case  Study:  Getting  Rid  of  the  Performance  Evaluation  ..............  53  

Month  2:  The  Forever  Brand  of  YOU.  ...............................................................  56  

The  Most  Important  Story  You  Will  Ever  Tell  .................................  57  

Action  Plan:  Build  Your  Online  Presence  .........................................  65  

Everything  You  Need  to  Know  About…  .............................................  72  

Case  Study:  Personal  Branding  ............................................................  80  

Month  3:  Create  Something  .................................................................................  83  

The  Hardest  Part  About  Starting  Anything  ......................................  84  

Consumers,  Critics  and  Creators  .........................................................  88  

Action  Plan:  Move  From  “I  can  do  that”  to  “I  did  that”  .................  90  

Everything  You  Need  to  Know  About…  .............................................  96  

Case  Study:  Connections  Newsletter  ................................................  107  

Month  4  –  Building  and  maintaining  relationships  ..................................  110  

Your  Professional  Network  Sucks  .....................................................  111  

Find  a  Second  Home,  Fast  ....................................................................  113  

Every  Single  Relationship  Counts  .....................................................  117  

How  to  Get  People  to  Like  You  and  Help  You  ................................  120  

Action  Plan:  Find  Your  Second  Home  ..............................................  127  

Everything  You  Need  to  Know  About…  ...........................................  134  

Case  Study:  250  Coffee  Meetings  in  400  Days  ...............................  137  

Month  5:  Be  Vulnerable  ......................................................................................  141  

Rejection  and  Failure  ............................................................................  142  

No  Response  Means  NO.  Deal  With  It.  ..............................................  146  

Everything  You  Need  to  Know  About…  ...........................................  149  

Action  Plan:  Positive  Failure  ..............................................................  152  

Case  Study  –  How  a  Broke  Trip  to  Aldi  Changed  My  Life  ...........  155  

Month  6:  Make  a  Decision  ..................................................................................  160  

Whatever  Decision  You  Make,  It  Will  Be  Wrong  ..........................  161  

Lie  Like  Hell  On  Your  Exit  Interview  ................................................  165  

Everything  You  Need  to  Know  About…  ...........................................  167  

Action  Plan  ................................................................................................  183  

Case  Study:  Paypal  Mafia  ......................................................................  185  

Don’t  Do  It  .................................................................................................  202  

Bonus:  44  Ways  To  Be  The  Worst  Employee  Ever  (NSFW)  .....................  203  

Inspiration  ..............................................................................................................  221  

Acknowledgements  ..............................................................................................  223  

Dedication

To my wife,

It seemed like only yesterday when we were sitting together at the airport

on the way back from vacation. I told you for the first time that I

desperately needed to quit my job, and it was destroying me to the point

where I had no choice but to make a change.

You were so supportive of my new business, and without you I could have

never made this happen. You supported my writing and told me to stop

capitalizing every word and that my grammar needed work.

You told me that “networking = not working.” I don’t think I have ever

laughed so hard in my life.

I hope you read this book from beginning to end and don’t ask for the

summary like you usually do when I write something. But, seriously, I

thank you every day for believing in me and appreciate all you’ve done.

To my family,

Dad - Thank you for being the most generous and the funniest person I’ve

ever met. I was able to inherit your humor along with your swearing.

Mom - I picked up my work ethic from you. I’m just hoping one day you

can relax and enjoy life.

To my brother, sister, in-laws, nieces and nephews - This book wouldn’t

be possible without your constant support. It means everything to me.

Preface

On April of 2012, I wrote an article titled “Fire Me, I Beg You.” I published

the post on my personal blog, closed my laptop and walked home. On my

walk home, my phone started to go crazy with Twitter notifications of

people re-posting the article and tagging me in their Tweets.

When I got home, I checked my website analytics; within a few hours

more than 7,000 people had visited the post. By the end of the day, more

than 20,000 unique viewers had read that post.

At that moment, I knew I had hit a pain point that many others could

relate to. I immediately bought the domain firemeibegyou.com in case I

wanted to do something with it later; in this case I used it for the name of

this book.

My intention is motivate you to make a change in your career for the

better through my stories of failure and success.

I learned the hard way. I want to share with you what I learned along my

traditional career path and my non-traditional entrepreneur career path.

I’ll share the good, the bad and even the ugly.

This book is not about how to quit your job to start a new company,

although it does cover that topic briefly. This book is about firing yourself

often to find an overlap of making money and enjoying your job.

When you invest in the stock market, do you put all of your money into

one stock and wish for the best? No sane person would put all of her

money into one stock because it’s too risky.

Any advisor would tell you to diversify your portfolio. Spread it across

multiple stocks so if one company falls dramatically, you have a variety of

stocks with different risks to keep your portfolio running without taking a

big hit financially.

Simply put, a diversified portfolio protects you in a bad market.

So why is it that many workers put their entire energy into one career and

one marketable skillset, while maintaining deep loyalty to their

managers? During a bad economy, companies have to protect themselves

and often that means layoffs. Those who diversified their careers have

options to find a better job. Those who put all of their energy into one

company are screwed.

How many people can make a major business decision and ruin your life?

If the answer is 1 or more, you may have a problem. My goal with this

book is to help you diversify your career options and marketable skill sets

and help mitigate any disasters that may occur.

I’ve worked across the USA, England and Mexico for many Fortune 100

companies mainly as a technical project manager and solutions architect.

I had 250 coffee meetings in 400 days to expand my personal network.

The CEO of Deloitte Consulting US sent my resignation letter to the entire

company.

My writing has been featured in the New York Times, Forbes, CBS News

and Lifehacker.

I wrote this book the way I talk in real life. Most of this book is written in

first person because Robbie likes to talk in first person.

Capiche?

Capiche.

Let’s get this show started.

Foreword by Seth Kravitz

Robbie emailed me in Fall 2011 asking to meet, but I passed, since I was

already overbooked for coffee meetings. A month later he shows up at my

event and enthusiastically offers to not only sell sponsorships for the next

event, but also rebuild the Technori website (since I mentioned we were

redesigning it). Honestly, I thought this guy was full of it.

The next morning after the event, I get an email with the subject line,

“Great meeting you last night - don't forget to put me to work.” In it were

a list of requests for sponsor docs and access to our website so he could

begin working immediately on both. Within days, we had met face-to-

face, plotted out the website development and he was off working on

deliverables!

My underlying concern was, “Why is this guy doing all this?” Months

later, Robbie would reveal to me his true intentions for offering so much

help, so quickly, and for nothing in return. He wanted to get involved in

the Chicago technology community and felt Technori was the fast track to

doing so.

Robbie explained that he had recently left a job to go out on his own, and

Technori was the bridge between the 2 worlds. He paused and clarified

that he not only left his previous company, but also resigned via an epic

personal letter that was so eloquent and diplomatic, the CEO of Deloitte

Consulting US forwarded it to every employee.

We went on to work together on Technori for 2 more years and I grew a

deep amount of respect and admiration for Robbie. As you will see in this

book, he is passionate about people, connections and having direction in

his life. He doesn’t soften his words or try to cradle the reader. He is direct

and pragmatic with his advice.

Fire Me I Beg You struck me as a manifesto for those who believe they

have a much greater purpose in life than being a cog in the machine. If

you are stuck in a career you don’t like, think of this book as primary tool

to break free of your corporate prison. Robbie lays down a framework to

go from employee to entrepreneur in a way that makes clear sense and is

reality tested. It will be a bumpy journey, but not leading a life of quiet

desperation is worth it.

Month 1 – Meets Expectations Never Felt So Good

Don’t Hate the Player, Hate the Game

I walked into our weekly Monday meeting with the top leaders in the

company just like every Monday that preceded it. I sat down and waited a

few minutes for the meeting to start.

I pulled out my 99-cent Bic lighter that I got from a gas station around the

corner and placed it on the big oval conference table. Immediately

everyone started looking at me and gave me weird looks.

I ignored them and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and started to pack the

cigarettes by jamming it against my palm. It made an audible noise and

the stares continued, but the meeting presenter kept talking as if nothing

was happening.

I pulled out a cigarette, put it in my mouth and lit it. I took one big puff,

lifted my head and blew a puff of smoke in a conference room with a

beautiful view of the Chicago Skyline.

I wasn’t done.

I pulled my leather chair back and then put my legs on the conference

table and crossed them as if I was on vacation smoking a big cigar with no

worries in the world.

By this time, the presenter had stopped talking and everyone was staring

at me.

The CFO, the CEO, the Human Resources Vice President and all of the

other directors were staring at me in complete shock.

I looked down at the room and said, “What’s wrong? Never seen someone

smoke during a meeting before?”

Then I woke up.

It was a dream. Except it wasn’t nighttime, and I wasn’t sleeping.

I had this dream while I was having lunch at my desk. I had many

different dreams and each one was the same theme: How can I get myself

fired in the most epic way ever?

To understand my situation, we need to go back to earlier in my career.

At noon every day, I would go to the local deli with my co-workers and we

would bring our food to a park near our office. We would sit in a circle and

take turns talking about how we hated our jobs and our managers. It

became a ritual.

Our bosses were the most selfish people alive. It was painfully obvious

they didn't really care about us professionally. Our job was to make them

look good. That was it. We were the little people in the organization.

When our ranting at lunch finished, we all felt better. We laughed, we

cried, we made fun of each other, we shared our dreams, but most

importantly we were in this together. We knew this wouldn't last

forever, but we shared a bond that our managers would never understand.

We were all hard workers and many of us worked nights and weekends.

We wanted to do good work and advance within the company.

3 years later, every single person who was part of the "hating group" was

no longer employed by this organization. We all decided that we would be

better off working somewhere else.

What happened to our managers?

I did a LinkedIn search and with the exception of one manager, every

single one stayed at the company and is now a senior executive. It’s

extremely tough to become a senior executive within this firm, and

collectively as a group, they did it. I can't say we were wrong for leaving

because I don't think any one of us regretted moving on.

Where I went wrong early in my career

Early in my career, I really didn't have patience and that's where my

expectations went wrong. I wanted to advance as soon as possible and

although my managers told me I would advance, it was taking too long. In

retrospect, I realize I expected my managers to take care of my career

more than I took care of my own career. That was very stupid of me.

I never once looked at it from their angle. I never asked myself what

motivated my managers and how I could have helped them achieve their

goals. It was always about how the company could help me and never

about how I could help myself. I didn’t understand I could benefit from

their leadership and expertise to get ahead.

However, it does make me think. It was almost like we were part of one

big social experiment. I wonder if I would have stayed at the company

longer if I hadn’t been paired up with this hating group. Maybe if I would

have stayed longer I could have followed my managers’ coattails and

would be a senior executive now.

If I were able to get the hating group together for a reunion, I would say

this to them:

I miss the endless banter we had as a group, especially the nicknames.

The nicknames we assigned to our managers were the “damn that's funny,

but we will get fired in a heartbeat if he or she finds out what we called

them” nicknames. They were so bad we actually forgot what their real

names were.

We were wrong for hating for our managers, and it prevented us from

advancing within the company. We directed our dark comedic rants

towards the wrong people. They didn't deserve 90% of things we said

about them. We were pretty naïve to think our managers didn't know we

were teaming up against them. Actually, I think we knew, but we just

didn't care.

My problem was I didn’t know how to deal with difficult situations and

difficult people until much later in my career.

Working With Difficult People

It took years to develop, but I was finally able to figure out how to handle

difficult situations and how to work with difficult people.

I've worked with:

• The decisive, smart and friendly executive type

• The 9-to-5 do everything I'm asked with a smile and actually

enjoy my work type

• The let me know if I can help you with anything type

• The we all know I'm the smartest one in the room type

• The you cross me, and I promise you it will be the worst

mistake of your entire career type

• The please give me another day to make this decision type

• The let's be real, I don't really give a shit, just tell me what you

need me to do and I'll do it type

• The please don't ask me to do anything for you because it's not

in my job description type

• The OMG she's walking near my cube, I better act like I'm

doing something before I get fired type

• The you used this word incorrectly in a PowerPoint, therefore

I will call an all hands meeting to get this settled type

• The I trust you Robbie to make any decision you see fit type

• The if I don't get a summary email at 8 p.m. every day I'm

going to assume you didn't do anything all day type

• The I'm going to cry instead of making an important decision

so please back off type

• The I don't really care what you think about me or my

decisions, just do what I tell you type

• The who the hell left an unclean spoon in the sink, your

mother isn't here to look after you so I'm going to leave a

passive aggressive sign above the sink and another on the

refrigerator in addition to an email blast to the entire office

type

• The give me your date of birth so we can celebrate your half

birthday type

• The I'm going to pretend like I didn't hear you the first time so

I can make this conversation as awkward as possible type

• The I'm going to agree to everything said in the meeting then

complain privately once the meeting is over type

• The I literally, figuratively and hypothetically do not care what

anybody thinks about me, so just keep paying me every 2

weeks and we'll all be happy type

• The if I hear one single piece of constructive criticism about

my work I'm never going to open up my mouth again type

• And finally my favorite: The holy shit lady I can hear your

nails click clacking on your keyboard from across the office

type

For the person who creates those passive aggressive, "If you're leaning,

you're cleaning" signs above the sink, I purposely don't clean dirty spoons

and put them in the sink so they can be even more upset. I'm evil like that.

The uncomfortable truth is that not all of these types are easy to deal with.

In fact, many of these types make it much harder to get anything

accomplished.

Deal with difficult people before they deal with you

Difficult people are an interesting breed. They tend to be the last person

in a workflow who has the authority to approve a particular process,

purchase order or contract, so they’re the final decision maker. They are

nitpicky, irrational, insanely busy people who don’t understand how many

hours the team has put into completing an activity.

They ask questions at the last minute about verbiage in a contract when

they could have asked the question when you first started on the project.

They make you start all the way from the beginning negating all that time

you and your team spent on it.

And yet instead of engaging this person right away, most people wait all

the way until the end to get their approval, then are in complete shock

when this person demands that additional edits be made.

Why?

Easy. People hate working with difficult people unless they absolutely

have to. Instead of getting answers to their questions right away, they take

the easy route and make assumptions hoping the difficult person won’t

ask questions once they review it. Nobody likes awkward conversations

and would rather show the decision maker a “finished product” so they

don’t get negative feedback on something that isn’t finished.

Then when it comes time to review the finished product, the difficult

person becomes well, difficult. Of course, this story isn’t complete without

the standard everyone blaming each other for a missed deadline when the

executive asks why that task was delayed.

Step up and deal with the decision makers even if they make you

uncomfortable. Don’t do it to impress your boss or your teammates. Do it

because you want to make the final approval process easier, and do it to

learn how this decision maker operates.

Do it because no one else will.

Difficult people are often misunderstood. They’re difficult because their

job requires them to be detail oriented and they have stake in the outcome

of certain activities or projects. They don’t care how much time you spent

on an activity. They care about the outcome.

If you can figure out what makes them tick through early difficult

conversations, you’ll not only have better answers early on, but also a

relationship with someone who others refuse to connect with — or can’t.

IF YOU’RE COMFORTABLE, SOMETHING’S WRONG

I was in a packed conference room with about 25 people. All the top

leaders and consultants were in this room to report their status to the CIO

of this company.

It was my third week on the job at the time and I thought I had everything

under control. All I needed to do was relay the status of the project. Since

I was the project manager, I had a good understanding of the details of

the project.

There were multiple projects, and we were first up. I really wanted to get a

feel for this meeting first considering I had never exchanged words with

the CIO and I wasn’t even sure what he looked like, but those were the

cards dealt to me and I had to present first. It was a big meeting, but I felt

comfortable with my preparation and I’m a great public speaker, so I

knew this would go out without a hitch.

I was 4 minutes into my “here’s the status of the project” talk. The CIO

was on his Blackberry and wasn’t really paying attention to me even

though the entire time I was speaking directly at him.

I was finishing my update with, “And the project completion deadline is

driven mainly by the technology team.” He looked up immediately and

sharply said, “WHAT? That’s not right. That’s not right at all! This has

nothing to do with the technology team! Didn’t you talk to the business

team at all? Didn’t you talk to your boss about this?”

SHIT.

I was caught like a deer in headlights. I didn’t know what to say. He was

right, and what I had said was inaccurate. I tried to defend myself by

saying what I had said was partially accurate, but before I could finish my

sentence he simply said, “You don’t know what you are talking about.” He

couldn’t have cared less what came out of my mouth at that point.

My boss wasn’t at the meeting either, so I just nodded my head and

pretended I was writing notes. I apologized quickly and said I’d speak

with my boss as soon as the meeting was over. That was the last thing I

said.

He said, “OK, you can leave now.”

As I walked awkwardly out of the room with everyone staring at me, I was

still a little flustered.

It was embarrassing. I had only been at this client site for 3 weeks and the

CIO of this company just berated me in front of everyone.

I didn’t realize he was going to be this difficult. I assumed I knew how to

deal with everyone. I was too comfortable with the project status. I didn’t

ask questions about what the CIO looked for in project status updates.

I learned 2 valuable lessons from this experience:

1) Don’t say more than I need to. Say exactly what I need to, then

shut the hell up. The more I talk, the bigger chance I will be embarrassed

again.

2) Don’t try to defend myself if the CIO of the company tells me

that I’m wrong. Refer back to #1. Shut up, take notes and let him know

you will fix it next time. He doesn’t have time to hear why you think you’re

right. I was wrong by speaking up again. I should have just nodded my

head in agreement.

I quickly let my boss know what had happened and we worked on a

corrective action plan so this would never happen again.

There were 3 more of these status meetings over my 12-month contract.

Before every status meeting, I made sure my boss was well aware of what I

was presenting. This prevented surprises from coming up during this

meeting.

The last company-wide status meeting a few months later ended with a

senior executive stating that the project I led was the best IT Project he

had ever been associated with. The CIO was also present in the room. We

were on time and under budget.

The CIO now knew who I was on a first name basis. He began to

recommend that I lead other projects.

This guy was difficult because he needed to be difficult. This was an

important project, and if it failed, his tail would be on the line. Once I saw

it from his angle, we were one big happy family — but it took a lot of

embarrassment to get there.

Deal with difficult people quickly before they deal with you. I viewed this

as a challenge and never once did I think to myself, “Man, I really hate

this place because he embarrassed me in front of everyone.”

It’s a trap to think like that, and you won’t get any sympathy wherever you

go. I mistakenly thought I was smarter than everyone in the room, and I

got what I deserved.

Are You Smarter

Than Your Boss?

I took over a big project while my manager was on vacation for the week.

It was the most productive week I’ve ever had in my career. No spending

hours on useless PowerPoint presentations, no over discussing issues that

had already been discussed to death and no unnecessary meetings to

finalize irrelevant decisions.

I led all status calls with leadership and the calls were the shortest they

had ever been. Status was discussed, decisions were made, calls were

productive and everyone was happy when calls ended early.

Then it hit me: I could lead this project without my boss. In fact, my boss

was a hindrance to the success of this project.

His absence allowed me to lead the project in a way I felt comfortable

with.

So, what was I to do? I couldn’t say, “Hey excuse me Mr. Boss, but do you

mind taking a longer vacation? Another 6 months would hit the spot,

don’t you think?” This person had at least 7 more years of relevant

experience than me and was multiple levels higher than me in the

company.

For a while, I just stepped back into my normal role and kept the situation

the same, but eventually I needed to do something about it.

I didn’t know what my next steps should be.

The one thing I did know was that something needed to change. I needed

to either have more responsibility on this project or I needed to be on

another project altogether.

For those of you who find yourself in this same situation, there is only one

mindset to handle it: You’re either going to be the leader of this

project, or you will be the leader of another project. There is no

middle ground.

Too many people think there is nothing they can do but to accept reality

that they will be behind an inept manager while their career stays

stagnant.

I’m a firm believer that once you figure out that you are smarter than your

boss, it’s time to take immediate action with your career.

You have 3 options when you have this realization:

Option 1) Set up a meeting with your boss and tell her you really enjoyed

leading the project while she was gone. You would really like to keep this

leadership position if possible and you think you handled it well. You

think you can add value and make her life easier so she can focus on other

projects.

If this is the only project she is leading, then basically you’re out of luck. If

she tells you no, let’s move to option 2.

Option 2) Find sponsorship from another leader in the company who

has a project that you can lead. The bigger the company, the easier this

will be for you.

Don’t have any relationships with other leaders in the company? Then

unfortunately there is nothing you can do. Building relationships with

other leaders is the ONLY way to make these types of changes.

Unless your boss truly recognizes your talents and cares about you, she

will never tell you about other projects you can lead. She likes your work,

and doesn’t want to have to replace you.

The good news is that it’s never too late to start building relationships

with other leaders now.

Option 3) Quit

Find a job where you can be the lead. The key is to keep moving and stay

challenged. Don’t stay in a dead-end job just so your resume can say you

stayed at a job for more than 3 years. If you hate your job and you’ve only

been there for 1 year, don’t let that sway you from leaving.

Worry about how this will look on your resume later. Those things are

easy to fix, assuming you don’t do it every single time of course.

The last thing you should be doing is working because you want to show

your loyalty to a company or to your boss. Loyalty is dead.

In my situation, I found another job and left the company.

Loyalty is Dead and My Boss Killed It

I was the most loyal of them all. I was the golden retriever of corporate

loyalty. I was sipping so much Kool-Aid I could have sworn the Kool-Aid

guy was following me around just to make sure I had enough Kool-Aid to

drink.

I got to work early and I left late. I worked weekends and I never cut

corners. I set up social events when no one else would. I was available

24/7 for my boss to contact me. I worked twice as hard as everyone else. I

was the ideal employee. Everyone loved me. I did whatever my boss told

me to do. I could do no wrong. I was the go-to guy.

On one particular occasion, it was time to discuss our performance

evaluations and raises. I thought for sure my work ethic and my loyalty

would get me the highest performance rating and the biggest raise. After

all, the people I took care of were going to take care of me in return. I had

it all figured out.

Then I got a “meets expectation” rating and a measly 2.1% raise. The

reasoning behind this: The economy was bad, and I needed to work on my

functional industry skills. That was it. All of those pages upon pages of

self-evaluation I filled out for my performance review really didn’t matter.

That whole year I had hustled beyond belief, and don’t forget about how

loyal I was!

Another year, I did whatever a manager wanted from me. I then found out

that I was actually hurting my career by being so helpful. How about that

time when I had worked until 3 a.m. 2 weeks straight to complete a

project no sane person could complete on time given so few resources? Or

what about that time I took an international flight to help with a project

on a day’s notice? That must have translated into a huge raise right? A gift

card, right? Nope, nothing.

Hell, I would have even taken a $20 gift card to Olive Garden. Do you

know how many unlimited breadsticks I can get with $20? Nothing says,

“we appreciate your hard work” like a gift card to Olive Garden. Come on,

you know you love Olive Garden because of the unlimited breadsticks and

never ending salad. It’s OK to admit your weaknesses.

Loyalty doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter one bit. What matters the most is

that you get the right work done for the right people. I also found that it

actually doesn’t matter how long you work. No one will give you a better

raise if you work late for 2 weeks straight.

Loyalty should be earned, not implied

I’ve learned to be loyal to the people I work with and not the company I

work for. There are a handful of people who have earned my loyalty:

• The director who immediately honored my last-minute request to

not join a project for personal reasons.

• The career counselor who found me a position in the company that

allowed me to stop traveling and work from home. This also

resulted in me losing her as a counselor as well as her having to

replace my spot on the project.

• The executive who lobbied to get me an office when everyone else

wanted me to sit in a cubicle (a small example, but representative

of the types of things he did over a long period).

I found 3 people who have proven that they are willing to go out of their

way to help me even if the result is detrimental to their goals.

This doesn’t mean I hate or don’t trust everyone else I worked with. My

mentality is that I trust everyone I meet until they prove to me they

shouldn’t be trusted. I have gotten burned MANY times by adopting this

way of thinking, but I still think it’s the right approach.

Action Plan: “Meets Expectations Never Felt So Good”

I'm going to ask you something that might seem contradictory to

everything you’ve ever learned. Everything you have ever been taught is

that to succeed you need to give 110% effort. Get to work early, leave late;

do the jobs that no one else wants to do; be the leader when everyone else

is following. Lead by example.

I want you to stop doing all of that. Stop showing up to work earlier than

everyone else. Show up on time and leave on time.

Don’t do the jobs no one else wants to do. Do the job you were hired to do.

Don’t lead when everyone else is following. Let someone else lead this

time.

Stop saying yes to every work assignment that comes to you. Learn to say

no. Better yet, learn to avoid situations where people ask you to do more

work.

Stop offering new suggestions to improve a process.

Stop coming through the front door. Come through the back door and be

as invisible as possible.

While you’re at it, take that stupid inspirational quote off your cubicle,

too. Newsflash, you’re not Winston Churchill. You’re a miserable worker

who currently has no idea what to do with your life. For god sakes, look at

what you are reading right now.

Today is the day you actively pursue mediocrity in your current job and

you’re going to love every second of it.

I'm asking you to work as if you wanted a B on your report card. I want

you try your hardest to NOT get an A on your year-end report card. In the

corporate world, the report card is the year-end performance review.

My biggest fear when I was on the receiving end of a performance review

was receiving a "you did everything we asked for and more. That's why

we’re giving you an 8/10" rating.

Human Resources call this rating a "meets expectations."

Here's how a typical meeting would go during my performance

evaluation:

Me: Did I do everything I asked you to do?

Boss: Yes.

Me: Didn't I do a few things that went above and beyond my

expectations?

Boss: Yes.

Me: Didn't I make your life easier by being loyal to you and the

company?

Boss: Yes.

Me: So, after all that I all I get a "meets expectations."

Boss: Yes! You have done a fantastic job and I want you to keep

up the good work. Don't change anything.

Me: Humor me for a second. What did I need to do to achieve a

"exceeds expectations rating?"

Boss: You could have done blah blah blah blah blah blah blah and

don't forget about blah blah blah blah. Take Jennifer as an

example. She did a lot of blah blah blah blah.

I would stop listening after I asked that question. I knew whatever came

out of my boss's mouth didn't matter and to be honest, I didn't care. I just

spent a year doing everything I could do and more, and all I got was a

"meets expectations." I felt cheated. I felt I deserved more. I would always

leave early after my performance evaluations.

The fact is, in most corporations a "meets expectations" rating is a GOOD

rating and viewed positively.

It means you’re doing exactly what they told you. If you look at a bell

curve, meets expectation is the top of the bell curve and the "exceeds

expectations and below expectations" are at the end of the spectrum. So if

you receive a "meets expectations" you should be happy. Right?

So why is it every time I received a meets expectations rating I wanted to

punch someone in the face?

To me, "meets expectations" meant that I failed. To my boss and human

resources, "meets expectations" meant I was doing a good job.

This is actually great news for you. You can do what you perceive as a

mediocre job and your employer will be satisfied with your work.

Kind of like the series finale of the TV show Breaking Bad (Don’t worry,

no spoiler alert), the ending of the show was satisfying. It didn’t blow me

away with complete awe and shock, but it didn’t disappoint me either.

It satisfied me. I was content with the ending. When it was done, I moved

on.

Your employer should feel the same way about your work: Satisfied.

Why pursue mediocrity?

All of the above activities require energy of some sorts for you to do. If you

suggest a new process to make something more efficient, guess who gets

to implement that new process? You do! This takes time and energy.

In order to achieve career freedom, the first step is to limit the amount of

energy you spend on something that doesn't get you closer to your career

goals.

It's the difference between working until 9 p.m. to put additional finishing

touches on a task and leaving at 6 p.m. when it was done and meeting up

with old colleagues for dinner.

It's the difference between enjoying your weekend doing what you enjoy

and working the weekend because you weren't able to finish all of your

tasks during the week.

You need a B on your report card. That’s it. Not a B+, and not a B-. You

just need to shoot for the 3.0.

But Robbie, I'm not the type of person that goes for B's. I either go hard or

go home!

A's take a lot of work, energy and dedication. A typical student who gets

A's in every single class often has no time for anything else. If your goal is

to keep advancing in your current company and to achieve greatness in

your company, then you probably should be reading something else.

What do I do with all this new energy?

In the following chapters I will tell you exactly where you can spend this

new energy on. You just need to know it won’t be on your current job. It

will be on activities that YOU want to do and actively get you to where

YOU want to be.

How to make this a reality: Act like an independent consultant

An independent consultant is a person who is self employed and gets paid

by working at other companies on a contract. An independent consultant

is unique in the sense that they can work on one client or multiple clients

simultaneously, but it’s their responsibility to find clients to work on. If

they don’t have a client, they don’t get paid. It’s that simple.

Achieving this goal is a big task and requires a different frame of mind.

Here is what you need to tell yourself:

You are no longer Michael Smith the full-time employee of Acme

Corporation. You are now Michael Smith, the independent consultant

who was contracted to perform a specific set of activities. Acme

Corporation is no longer your full-time employer; it is your client who

pays you for every hour that you work. You have a 6-month contract with

Acme Corporation in which they pay you for 40 hours of your time each

week. Any time worked outside of these 40 hours must be pre-approved

by the client.

Here’s the difference between the full-time employee and the independent

consultant.

Michael Smith, full-time employee:

• Hired to perform one activity, often gets involved in many

other activities not specifically related to job function

• Jack of all trades, master of none

• Expected to work all day and night, including weekends even

if the work doesn’t require it

• Pay is based on salary, not value of his services

• Attends all required employee meetings, whether they directly

pertain to his work or not

• Has a secure job for a successful company and doesn’t need to

look for next gig

• Doesn’t take responsibility for something that went wrong if it

wasn’t his fault

Michael Smith, independent consultant:

• Hired to perform one activity. Contractually not allowed to

work on other work specifically not defined in the

Statement of Work (SOW)

• Master of a specific function; Knows a little bit of

everything else, but is known for his specific function skill

• Expected to complete the deliverable based on agreed

hours in the SOW — If he goes over those hours, it will

require more difficult conversations and approvals in

budget to perform those activities

• Hourly rate is determined on how valuable his specific skill

is and how important his skill is to the organization

• Attends few to no company meetings so he can focus on

what he was contracted to do

• Forced to continually look for new gigs and maintain his

relationships with other companies to see what

opportunities they have coming up

• Will stop getting paid once this contract ends, so is always

thinking 2 steps ahead and planning for next gig

• Takes responsibility for something that went wrong, even if

it was the client’s fault. Puts an action plan together to fix

the issue and fixes the issue once the plan is approved.

See the difference between the 2? They were both hired to do one thing,

however one person ends up getting pulled in a million directions while

the independent consultant has a clear vision on what his job is.

The full-time employee Michael Smith has more stability than the

independent consultant. But since he doesn’t have to look for new jobs, he

isn’t expanding his network and forming new relationships.

Control your workload

A big part of this month’s exercise is to control your workload and you’re

probably thinking “easy for you to say Robbie.” And you’re right.

Everyone’s situation is different.

Some of you have jobs where you are a “do-er” and you’re constantly

doing work.

Advice that sucks (Rant)

I read an article recently that said, “If you want to control your workload

all you have to do is organize, analyze, manage time and delegate!” Well

thank you for telling me absolutely nothing.

I could write an article that says “How to Fly to the Moon”

1. Raise $100 million from investors

2. Hire smart team

3. Build spaceship

4. Launch spaceship

Well, that was easy! I’m so glad someone told me this! Before I thought I

could build a spaceship with my next-door neighbor and $300! Better get

back to the drawing board!

Let me tell you why this article has useless advice.

Organize – How many times have you organized your cubicle, office,

folder setup, etc. and then the next day everything is back to mayhem

because everything around you is mayhem? How can you organize

yourself when everything around you is pure craziness?

Analyze – You want me to analyze what the “quick wins” are when Pam

from finance keeps stopping by my desk to help her with a task that I’ve

taught her how to do 15 times already?

Manage Time – Maybe if IT did their job for once I could do my tasks in

regular intervals, but instead I’m dealing with systems not working or

being down every week.

Delegate – Ahhh yes the “Do what you can do and delegate everything

else” advice. I tried delegating that work to Pam, and I ended up doing

twice as much work fixing her mistakes.

Here has what helped me dramatically control my workload, while

consistently making others happy with the work I deliver. I’m going to let

you in on a little secret:

Controlling your workload has nothing to do with you. It has

everything to do with controlling everything around you!

You don’t have to have decision-making power or management authority

to control your surroundings. But what you do have is the power to set

expectations.

Let me ask you something. How many people in your workplace know

exactly what you accomplished every hour in the day? Does your manager

know everything that you do? How often do you go a full day or 2 days

without interacting with your manager?

The reality is although you report to one manager, you’re often doing

activities for many people and many teams at once.

You ever walk out of the office and think, “What the hell did I do today?”

If you’re like everyone else, this happens daily.

So, if you are unable to determine what you did today, that means that

everyone else is unable to determine what you did today including your

manager.

Following me yet? Others perception of you is based on their limited

interaction with you.

Your manager’s perception is based on tasks that you complete that she

deems to be important.

Your co-workers on your team base their perception on tasks that they

need you to complete.

The project manager from another team bases his perception of you on

the timeliness and completeness of the tasks that you complete for him

every few weeks.

The biggest misconception that employees have is if they don’t work 60

hours a week, they won’t be able to get work done.

Let me clue you on something. 40 hours a week is a made-up number.

Someone came up with this magic “here is the # of hours that I believe

everyone should work a week.”

Here is what I do:

Over communicate. I communicate status on something that I don’t

have to on a daily basis. If I was supposed to finish something and I can’t

finish it on time, I let them know very simply that I can’t get it done

because of other commitments, then propose another date to get it done

by.

Over communicating signals that I have all my work under control and

reduces anxiety of people waiting for you to get work done. It also reduces

the chance that a delayed issue gets raised to your manager.

Send end of week reports to my manager(s) – I end every week

with what I accomplished that week. I always end the week on a good

note. This is a bonus if your manager never asked for it.

Be amazingly quick on responses – I adopted the 5 sentences or less

policy. If I can answer a question in less than 2 minutes and type less than

5 sentences, I answer it right away.

Resist the urge to reply back to emails that don’t need your

input – If the email doesn’t start off with addressing you specifically,

then there is an 80-90% chance you don’t need to reply back to it.

Replying takes energy, and most of the time the person who the email is

addressed to is the person responsible for answering. If that person wants

to ask you a question, then they will ask you. Until then, keep your mouth

shut and move on to the next email.

Estimate how long a task should take and multiply that number

by 3. This is a trick used by software developers because in theory a task

should only take a specific amount of time. But these estimates are

normally done as if you live in a bubble and don’t have outside influences

that delay when a task can get completed. The system is down, Pam keeps

bothering you, an unexpected urgent task lands on your desk, etc.

So if someone sends you a task that should take you 1 hour that you can

start on Tuesday morning, the number you communicate is that it will

take you 3 hours and you will get it done in 2 days on Thursday.

If you get it done on Tuesday, then you beat their expectations and you

signal that you have your work under control. The mistake many make is

that they say they can get it done by EOD Monday and don’t actually get it

done until Wednesday.

Of course there are some tasks that just can’t wait any longer that you

have to do immediately, but if you planned everything else properly you

leave yourself time to meet the urgent request while meeting everything

else.

Be absolutely relentless about controlling scope of projects.

In the project management world this is called scope creep. Scope

creep (also called requirement creep and feature creep) in project

management refers to uncontrolled changes or continuous growth in a

project's scope.

No matter how defined the processes are and how smart the people on the

team are, scope creep is bound to happen on every project.

If you are involved with big projects, you know how these projects can

quickly get out of hand.

If you’re managing a project or part of a project, here’s the easiest thing

you can do.

I manage projects with 3 points of emphasis.

1. Get the disagreements and confusion out of the way as soon as

possible. Do not wait one second to bring up an important topic

that can become a hindrance later on.

2. Nice to have vs. must have. Too often people request things that

are nice to have and you spend all your time on the nice-to-have

things that are impossible to do and you mess up the must haves.

Focus on must haves and be relentless about this topic. On a

whiteboard, create 2 columns “must have” and “nice to have.” If

you start there, it can dramatically change the course of a project.

3. Deliver consistently. If you agreed to a certain timeline, make sure

you stick to it. This is why I almost never agree to an accelerated

timeline if I don’t feel it’s realistic.

Here are specific activities that will help you with this challenge:

1) No reading email before or after work hours for one full

week.

If you leave at 5:30 p.m. and you get an email at 5:31 p.m., answer it first

thing in the morning.

If you can’t get away with not reading emails, you can read, but don’t

respond until you’re at work.

2) Do not eat lunch at your desk!

No more getting food and eating food at your desk while you work and

answer emails or browse web mindlessly. Eat in the kitchen in your office,

cafeteria or somewhere outside. Eat anywhere but your desk.

Use the full hour of lunch.

3) Say “No” to any large tasks that aren’t your responsibility and take

significant time away from completing the tasks your client hired you to

do.

You want to do your original job the best way possible. You don’t want

other things to interrupt what you’re working on.

If you can’t say no, figure out a way to delegate the work or schedule it so

it won’t be done until you have the time to do it.

The power of setting expectations: How to go from working 60

hours a week to 40 by sending 2 emails a week.

I’m convinced 95% of cubicle workers who work over 60 hours a week

constantly can cut it down to 40-45 hours by sending 2 emails a week to

their boss:

Email #1: What you plan on getting done this week

Email #2: What you actually got done this week

That’s it. These 2 emails will prevent you from working 60 hours a week,

while improving your relationship with your boss and getting the best

work you’ve ever done.

Here’s what Email #1 looks like:

Subject: My plan for the week

Jane,

After reviewing my activities here is my plan for the week in order

of priority. Let me know if you think I should re-prioritize:

Planned Major Activities for the week

1) Complete project charter for X Project

2) Finish the financial analysis report that was started last

week

3) Kick off Project X – requires planning and prep

documentation creation. Scheduled for Thursday.

Open items that I will look into, but won’t get finished

this week

1) Coordinate activities for year-end financial close

2) Research Y product for our shared service team

Let me know if you have any comments. Thank you!

— Robbie

“But Robbie, my boss is the one that assigns me the work! He obviously

knows what I’m working on! Why would I send him this email?”

You are so wrong you disgust me. Seriously I want to throw up. OK, not

seriously but let me clue you in on a little secret. Your boss barely has an

idea of what he is spending his time on let alone knows what YOU are

working on. How self-centered of you to think he knows everything you’re

spending your time on at work.

Tips for email #1:

Limit yourself to schedule 40 hours of planned work.

“But Robbie, I have at least 60 hours of work to do. How in the world am I

going to do it in 40 hours now? That’s impossible; you have no idea how

busy our group is right now.”

Take a look at my sample email #1. Did you break down your tasks into

Must be done vs. Nice to be done or did you put everything into the must

be done category?

Did you schedule yourself for 60 hours a week or did your boss schedule

you for 60 hours of week? I want you to think about this.

Your boss’s responsibility is to assign you work that you should complete.

It is not your boss’s responsibility to also help you manage your workload.

That’s YOUR job!

Think again. Where did this thought of you have 60 hours of work to do

come from? Did it come from your boss, or did it come from you?

I didn’t believe you had 60 hours of work to do, and neither should you.

“Robbie, I’m being honest with you. I have at least 60 hours of work to do.

I work non-stop and I work through lunch. I’ve tried your stupid little

categorization trick too, and it doesn’t work. My workload just isn’t going

to get any lighter any time soon. I’m pretty sure you live in this fantasy

world where you can tell your boss that you would only like to work 40

hours a week and he’ll be happy with it. I am THAT busy and my boss

EXPECTS me to work non-stop.”

OK, OK. I believe you. I’ve been there. But before I accept that there is

nothing you can do, let me ask you one question:

Let’s say on Wednesday afternoon, a family emergency pops up and it

forces you to take the rest of the week off immediately until the upcoming

Monday. Everything you were working on Wednesday came to a halt.

Meetings were cancelled and deliverable dates were missed. The rest of

your workweek was ruined.

What happens on Monday morning when you come back to the office?

Are your files still there? Do you still have a job? Are your co-workers still

there?

What about the deliverables that were due on Thursday that you couldn’t

complete and you were the only one that knew how to complete it?

Did the building burn down because you couldn’t complete them? I’m

guessing none of this happened.

On Monday morning, you picked up exactly where you left off and guess

what: Everything was OK. The deliverables are late, but it’s OK because

everyone knew you had a family emergency to take care of. Expectations

were set and because of your family emergency, you could not complete

the deliverables. So, in reality the deliverables were never late because you

set expectations that you couldn’t finish them. New expectations were set

on when you could deliver them.

Take that same exact scenario and replace a family emergency with you

just disappearing for 3 days without telling anyone where you went.

How does that change your Monday morning when you arrive?

It will probably end up something like this.

Because you didn’t complete your deliverables you messed up everyone’s

schedule! They relied on you, and you just ruined it! They waited every

day to get the files and you never sent it. Now you’re working extra hours

because everyone is waiting on you. What a huge disappointment you are.

Expectations are powerful. Instead of a family emergency, set

expectations on Monday morning and watch how everyone around you

adapts to YOUR schedule. Watch how your 60-hour week turns into a 40-

hour week and nobody will notice a thing.

The better you are setting expectations at Monday morning, the easier

your life becomes. If you plan for 40 hours, you can get your planned

work done in 40 hours and nobody will complain that you aren’t working

60 hours. In fact, you have made everyone else’s life easier because they

can now plan around you!

Email #2 on Friday: What you got done this week.

It looks something like this:

Completed this week

• Completed X Report

• Started the planning for the big project

• Finished the month-end analysis and sent to financial

controller for review

• Created a first draft of the project charter, which is currently

being reviewed by Project Manager Z

Open items

• I have some questions about the start date of Y Project, but

should get confirmation by Tuesday morning

• We need X Report signed off by EOD next Wednesday. Can

you follow up with Jane to get this signed off?

That is all for now. Have a great weekend.

— Robbie

This Friday report is so simple and effective; it’s amazing that people just

leave on Friday without sending this report.

This report does 2 things very well: It provides closure to the week and

gives your manager an idea of what you can complete in a week. In other

words, it sets expectations!

Tips for Email #2

Focus on what you completed first and open issues second.

Always end Friday on a good note. If you have issues bring that up on

Monday morning. Don’t stress your boss out all week, and it will stress

you out as well.

FAQ

Question: My boss is a non-stop worker and expects me to work at all

times of the day.

Answer: Does he really expect you to work at all times during the day or

are you assuming he expects you to work these hours? Just because he

sends you an email at 9 p.m. doesn’t mean he expects you or needs you to

respond back at 9:30 p.m.

Question: What if what I had planned on getting done on Monday isn’t

close to what I actually completed on Friday?

Answer: So basically you are like everyone else. Be honest to your boss.

Let her know that this is what you wanted to get done, but here is what

got done instead. She will appreciate your honesty.

Question: I’m the only one who can do my job and because of this I’m

working extra hours. If I didn’t, I would let everyone down.

Answer: This is a trick I learned during consulting when I found my

workload to be unimaginable: I took a planned vacation and made sure

everyone knew that I wasn’t going be available.

This situation will trigger your boss and co-workers to learn everything

about your job as much as possible so that they can do it while you are

gone.

Now, when you get back, you aren’t the only person who knows how to do

your job. It will reduce the tension on your activities because know you

have a back up!

Question: I actually enjoy working 60 hours a week and I like that I can

get more work done in a week than someone who only works 40 hours.

Answer: Nothing wrong with that at all. Good for you. Just know that

there is scientific evidence that people who work excessive hours are more

likely to create mistakes and be more inefficient1

1 http://lifehacker.com/working-long-hours-is-hazardous-to-your-health-and-your-1542562871

Everything You Need to Know About…

Performance Appraisals

Performance appraisals are a necessary evil in many companies. They are

usually held at least once a year or sometimes twice a year, but never

more than that.

There are some companies such as Adobe that have completely gotten rid

of performance appraisals.

The hardest part about performance appraisals for many (myself

included) is that this is a completely anxious driven event. I have never

received a bad rating in the history of all of my performance appraisals,

but why is it that when the performance appraisal meeting is done, I feel

like getting out of the office immediately and going for the longest walk of

mankind?

Evidence shows that after certain types of performance appraisals, it

actually negatively affected employee morale.

“While objectively it may seem perfectly fine in a job to “meet

expectations,” the reality was (with two levels above this “grade”)

many employees felt like they were receiving a “C”, not an “A” or

“B.” And good hard-working employees never like to feel like “C”

students. Despite considerable management communication on

the topic, many employees still felt like they were getting C’s, and

that bred discontent. “2

3

2 http://www.forbes.com/sites/victorlipman/2012/07/19/the-pros-and-cons-of-forced-rankings-a-managers-perspective/ 3 http://www.hazards.org/stress/workplacetyranny.htm

However, in this month’s exercise you are focused on achieving a meets

expectation rating. A meets expectations rating is a GOOD thing.

So when you have this meeting, and your manager gives you a “meets

expectations” rating, you should have the biggest smile on your face

because this is what you wanted.

Getting laid off

A good friend of mine was laid off twice within a few years, and each time

he was the top sales person for the Midwest region, which is no small feat.

One time the company wasn’t doing well, so they laid off an entire

department while they figured other things out.

One time the company was doing extremely well, but decided the Midwest

region wasn’t their focus so they sold it to another company who then

promptly laid off everyone.

The major lesson in this story is that a great performance appraisal or

your team’s performance does not shelter you from getting fired.

How often do layoffs happen?

According to the BLS, 4 in 2012 there were 6,500 occurrences of

companies laying off more than 50 people at a time. In 2012, this equated

to 1.25 million workers being let go.

What reasons do companies give for laying employees off?

4 http://www.bls.gov/mls/mlsreport1043.pdf

As you can tell from the below chart the 2 major reasons are seasonal

workers and “business demand,” which is just code word for “we really

didn’t need this department anymore.”

In reality, a layoff can sometimes be seen from a mile away and

sometimes it comes out of nowhere. Nobody is immune to layoffs. It can

happen for any rhyme or reason. The key is to be prepared.

What states have the highest number of mass layoff events?

California leads this category by a landslide. Of the 6,500 mass layoffs,

they accounted for 1/3 of them, 2,141 to be exact. New York had 441 and

Illinois had 430.

What industries had the highest number of mass layoff events?

Fifteen of 18 major industry sectors registered over-the-year increases in

the numbers of separations in 2012, with the largest increases coming

from the information, administrative and waste services and retail trade

sectors. Among all sectors, firms in administrative and waste services

accounted for the largest number of separations due to extended mass

layoffs in 2012. This represents the first occurrence in the mass layoffs

program history that an industry other than manufacturing has recorded

the greatest number of worker separations (annual data began in 1996.)

Case Study: Getting Rid of the Performance Evaluation

It’s not a secret that I’m not a big fan of performance reviews.

The good news is that I’m not alone. Adobe Corporation got rid of

performance reviews! 5

Morris quickly zeroed in on Adobe's performance-review process.

Each year, in the aftermath of the process, she had witnessed a

significant increase in attrition. Coupling that yearly increase in

voluntary departures with an annual survey in which employees

routinely expressed their disdain for the performance-review

process left Morris understandably worried.

Man, I’m not alone! As I mentioned before, I wanted to punch someone in

the face after almost every single performance review.

5 http://www.hreonline.com/HRE/view/story.jhtml?id=534355695&

A 2012 survey by San Francisco-based rewards and recognition

consulting firm Achievers found 98 percent of 645 HR managers

believe yearly evaluations are not useful. And nearly 60 percent

of HR executives give their own performance-management

systems a grade of C or below, according to

the WorldatWork/Sibson 2010 Study on The State of

Performance Management, which reflected the insights of 750

senior level HR professionals.

Wait, what! You’re telling me that 98% of the 645 HR managers believe

that the yearly evaluations aren’t useful! So, they are self-aware!

So if Adobe got rid of performance reviews, what did they replace it with?

According to Wikipedia, they have over 11,000 employees and 4 billion in

revenue yearly. That’s a big company to just get rid of something so

traditional.

If managers were skilled and effective in their day-to-day

communication and leadership abilities, there wouldn't be any

need for formal performance reviews, says Lawler. The benefits

would have already been realized through ongoing feedback,

guidance, goal-setting, and development activities

Go on…

"In a traditional performance review, the employee listens until

he hears the rating and then tunes out because he's doing the

calculation in his head about how that will affect his bonus," says

Carlin. "You never get to any true, honest, candid, constructive

feedback because they are so focused on whether he got the

rating he expected."

DUDE. Is this guy in my head right now? I did this EXACT thing. All I

could think to myself when my manager was giving my performance

evaluation was wondering what my bonus was!

But, OK. I think I know where the article is heading.

HR enlisted Expedia's executive team to conduct town-hall

meetings in which they explained the new process, which

required each manager to have informal one-on-one

conversations with employees, with a heavy focus on

development and career-pathing, either weekly or bi-weekly.

Wait a minute here. Isn’t this what an independent consultant does?

Constant communication with a heavy focus on what you accomplished

and, and planning what’s next?

I think Adobe is on to something here. I’ll forgive them for creating Adobe

PDF Reader that needs to be updated 500 times every week. I wish they

would switch Adobe PDF Reader to yearly reviews instead of weekly.

Har har har.

Over at Adobe, the company's no-performance reviews approach

has only been in place a few months, but Morris is convinced the

company is on the right track. In addition to saving Adobe

approximately 80,000 hours each year, eliminating formal

performance reviews has also had a positive impact on a number

of key indicators.

I take everything back I said badly about Adobe.

I heart Adobe.

I just wish I didn’t have to update my Adobe reader every 2 weeks. Is that

too much to ask?

Month 2: The Forever Brand of YOU.

The Most Important Story You Will Ever Tell

I always have this dream that somehow I end up at a fancy lounge and I’m

telling a funny story to Morgan Freeman, Chris Rock, Jon Stewart, Tina

Fey and Brad Pitt. We’re all sipping martinis, then I end my story with the

punch line, “So I was like Grandma, get off me I’m done!” and everyone

busts out laughing. Right when I deliver the punch line, an amateur

photographer appears and snaps the most amazingly timed and focused

picture where everyone is laughing their asses off and I’m right in the

middle obviously being the person who told the funny story.

The amateur then posts the photo to Reddit, which immediately gets to

the top of the front page and I become an instant Internet celebrity.

The picture gets reposted everywhere, and I win an Internet award for

funniest joke ever told without actually knowing the joke I told.

The picture becomes so popular, I replace ridiculously photogenic guy as

the best-timed amateur photo ever.

Seriously. This is the stuff I dream of on a daily basis. I learned early on

that my ability to tell stories was my biggest strength.

I would have loved to say that I have friends who are also good

storytellers, but unfortunately it’s not their biggest strength.

I have a good friend who will start telling a story with a group of friends

and then halfway through the story he’ll look at me and say “Robbie,

finish the story – you tell it better”.

No matter how many tips I give him on how to tell better stories, it doesn’t

work. He either takes too long to tell a story or he’ll tell a story that will

leave me extremely confused as to why he even bothered to open his

mouth. He stutters, he laughs at the wrong part of the story and he

commits the ultimate sin of storytelling: He starts a story he can’t finish,

ALL THE TIME.

God bless the guy, but he sucks at telling stories, and chances are that you

do, too.

Don’t worry; we’re going to change that right now.

Helping you tell better stories begins with building an amazing one. Your

problem ‘— hell almost everyone’s problem — is a complete lack of

understanding the components. A great story is like a great burger. It’s

more than just meat; it’s the addition of melty cheese, fresh tomatoes,

sautéed onions, etc.

So, let’s focus on the thing you like best: yourself. I’m going to help you

create one story. This one story will be so unbelievably epic that it will be

the best story you’ve ever told in your life.

This one story, the more you tell it, will lead to more people loving it. It

will spread like wildfire and will be retold upon generations and

generations to come.

Random people will come up to you and say, “Hey, are you so and so?

Someone told me about your story and oh man, what a story.”

I don’t want to add any more additional pressure on you, but this story

will live with you for as long as you live. It will be the thing you are known

for.

It will be more important than some forgotten best man or maid of honor

speech. More important than any speech you ever gave in high school or

college. Bigger than any corporate presentation you’ll ever make.

Hey people, listen up, because this is serious shit. And shit is getting real

right now.

Oh yeah, the story is only one sentence.

Ready?

Tell the story of your life

Think of the last 4 people you recently met for the first time.

Now write down what their story was in one sentence.

For example, here are a few people I met at an event in Chicago:

1. A guy with 2 or 3 side projects and a full-time job at big company.

2. Bright strategy consultant who believes digital is the only place to

be. She has no digital experience, but is looking to connect with

digital agencies in Chicago with hopes to join a growing company.

3. Someone who enjoys entrepreneurship and wants to learn more.

4. Someone looking for a new IT job.

Of these 4 people, which one do you think has the best story?

Let me rephrase that.

Which one of these people do you think has the simplest and most clearly

understood story?

For me, #2 has the best story. During the 4 minutes I talked to this person

I knew:

1. What her job currently is in very clear terms

2. What job she is pursuing

3. The help that she needs (connect with digital agencies)

Of those 4 people, she is the only one I keep in touch with as I help her

achieve her goal of connecting with digital agencies in Chicago.

The most important part of her story was that I could understand it, and I

could clearly understand how I could help her achieve her next goal.

The other 3 were too confusing for me to understand and I already forgot

almost everything about them.

The difference is palpable because I felt something with her story. You

see, her story was all about WHY. The other 3 were all about WHAT. This

is the fundamental flaw amateur storytellers make every time. They drop

loads of forgettable detail, but never get to the essence that is the WHY.

I want you to write down what your one-sentence story is. This story is

focused on your current skill set. The next step after this is to create one

focused on your future skill set.

I’ll show you how I came up with my own story. The key is that I don’t

know what the end result will be; I just type what comes to my mind. I

press enter, and I do it again and again until I’ve discovered WHY, not

just what or how.

Here is an unedited flow of how I came up with my story:

I’m an IT Consultant.

I help clients help themselves.

I’m an IT Project Manager who leads complex IT projects.

I’m a self-taught developer who manages IT projects.

I lead complex IT projects as an independent consultant,

specializing in SAP Software

I’m a technical Project Manager who leads IT projects for

enterprise companies.

I help deliver projects through my communication skills.

I’m a Project Manager whose main focus is to manage IT projects.

My goal is to make everyone’s life easier through leading complex

IT projects.

My mission is to make your life easier by helping solve complex IT

issues and projects.

I will make your life easier by untangling and delivering your

complex IT projects.

I solve complex IT problems, while making everyone’s life easier.

IT projects all have the same problem regardless of what the

technology is. My specialty is untangling troubled IT projects with

clear guidance from IT and Business.

My specialty is untangling complex IT projects by acting as a

communication bridge between IT and business.

My specialty is turning around and leading complex IT projects by

acting as a communications bridge between IT and Business.

I lead complex IT projects because I believe IT has

power, but if it’s not supported with great

communications, nobody knows what to do.

Ah, yes! This one sounds great for me.

If someone asks me in a conversational setting, my answer is “I believe in

the power of IT. My specialty is turning around and leading complex IT

projects.”

That’s my current story.

The other stories were good, but they weren’t clear enough and they

weren’t powerful enough. Let’s be honest, we’re not going to remember

your details, but we will remember what you stand for.

Now let’s move on to your future story. Ideally, your future story is what

you will be known for if everything works out the way you planned it.

Here’s my unedited flow of how I came up with my future story:

I’m an IT Career Coach.

I help IT professionals advance their careers.

I mentor business professionals looking to advance their careers.

I empower business professionals to take ownership of their own

careers.

I help motivated business professionals transition to self-

employment.

I mentor business professionals who were recently laid off.

I mentor business professionals who are interested in

transitioning into a career in digital marketing.

I mentor business professionals on how to transform from being a

consumer to becoming a creator.

I mentor technology professionals who have built successful

careers in the enterprise and are interested in entrepreneurship.

I help successful business professionals transform their careers to

entrepreneurship.

I specialize in helping successful IT workers build a career in a

non-IT field.

I believe in mentoring recently laid off business and IT

professionals who are looking to re-invent their careers

as entrepreneurs.

The key concept to understand is that my future story will change almost

weekly. It will evolve naturally. But the foundation will never change. At

the heart of it, I believe in helping people. Regardless of how it manifests

itself, the WHY never changes. Sure, WHAT I do may change over time,

but what I’ll be known for — the reason I do the things I do — remains

constant.

The first story will help you make money now.

The second story will help you make money in the future.

Use the first story until it makes sense to transition to the second story.

So, remember that burger? The WHAT is the meat, but WHY is all those

great ingredients coming together as one to create a memorable

experience. When you tell yours story, don’t just rattle off numbers,

accomplishments and forgettable bullet points. Tell us what you believe,

tell us WHY you do the things you’ll do.

Now, that’s a tasty burger.

Don’t ignore this exercise. This story will be used for the rest of the book.

Do it now.

Action Plan: Build Your Online Presence

Your new online brand will consist of the following:

1. Your dead simple website

2. Your LinkedIn profile

3. Your email signature

You have your story right? Great. We’re going to put it to use.

1) Set up an extremely simple website

Your first version needs to be simple. I have a good friend who has been

trying to create a website for himself for 5 years. Literally. It's been 5

years.

Let’s call my friend Jose.

Here’s a shortened 5-year summary of our interactions in Jose’s attempt

to create a website for himself.

YEAR 1

Jose: I need a good theme for my website.

Me: Here are the some themes you can use..

Jose: No man, I need really, really good themes. I don't like those.

<Jose does nothing about it.>

YEAR 2

Jose: I need a good theme for my website.

Me: Here are the some themes you can use.

Jose: Ohh. I really like this one. What do you think?

Me: I like it.

<Jose does nothing about it.>

YEAR 3:

Jose: I really need to get this website up man.

Me: I'm not helping you anymore. Pick something simple and just

put it up.

Jose: No man. I need the website to be tight and clean (This is

how he talks.)

Me: Everything I tell you, you just ignore.

<Jose does nothing about it.>

YEAR 4:

Jose: Listen man, I'm serious about this. I need to put it up. I have

time this weekend.

Me: Shut up.

Jose: Dude, I'm really serious about this. What about these

themes?

Me: Shut up.

Jose: <Sends me more themes.><Continues to do nothing about

it.>

YEAR 5:

Jose: I created a blog! <Shows me link.>

Me: WOW. I'm impressed man. Congratulations! You actually

did something about it.

<6 months later, he has only written 2 blog posts.>

Jose: What should I write about?

Me: It's your blog man, I don't know.

Don’t pull a Jose. Don't wait for the perfect color scheme or perfect layout.

Just do it. Every day you wait, a little kitten dies.

What should you put on your website?

You need 4 things:

1. Your name

2. Your picture (headshot preferably)

3. Your one-story sentence

4. Your contact information

I just ask that you don't do one thing:

Unless your grandfather is Winston Churchill, please don’t use quotes. I

don't know what it is, but quotes but irk me to no extent. I see it too much

on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. All your use of quotes shows is that

you’re able to regurgitate someone else’s brilliant moment.

They all follow the same path:

“I don’t regret the things I’ve done, I regret the things I didn’t do when I had the chance.” – Unknown

The quote doesn’t add any value and your brand perception doesn’t

change, no matter how amazing or insightful your life quote is.

OK, I’m done with that rant.

Actually, I have one more topic to rant about that I can’t even believe I

have to write.

For the love of everything, will you please make sure your website is

readable? Use a solid background so people can read your profile clearly.

There is a special place for people who create a website for themselves and

make the background image match the same color as the text, making the

whole thing nearly impossible for anyone to view what they wrote.

It’s the equivalent of spending $400 on clothes to look sharp, then putting

a bag on your head so people can’t see your face or hear when you talk.

I recommend 3 tools that will make creating this simple website an

extremely easy process.

Squarespace

Squarespace is my preferred option to create a simple one to two-page

website. It also allows you to accept payments if you’re looking to sell a

product or service.

About.me

About.me focuses on websites focused on individuals. The website's

tagline is "Having an about.me page will make it easier for people to find

and learn about you," which is the goal for this month.

Just remember the goal is to focus on your brand, not how many social

networks you are on.

Flavors.me

Flavors.me is similar to About.me and also a good choice.

Wordpress

I actually use Wordpress for my own website and blog, but I don’t

recommend it for this exercise because it can take a long time to set up

properly, especially if this is your first website.

2) LinkedIn profile

If you don’t listen to anything I tell you, listen to this. Set up a LinkedIn

profile, and make sure it’s current.

Here are the basics you need to adhere to:

1) Your name

2) Your current job title

3) Your story (the one you just created)

4) Your previous experience

5) Your picture

If you’re in between jobs, DO NOT put “unemployed” or “looking for new

opportunities” as your job title.

It will hurt you. Your brand will be tarnished immediately. You will not

find a new job this way. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings or if it doesn’t

make sense.

Instead, don’t use a title at all, or put “independent consultant or

freelance consultant.” You’re not unemployed. You’re a consultant who

helps clients with specific things that you’re good at.

This helps your story when you start interviewing.

3) Email signature

The main problem with about 99% of all email signatures is that they only

give contact information.

Those 99% of signatures are missing an unbelievable opportunity to tell

the email recipient how you can help them. And most importantly, your

email signature is an opportunity to tell your story without actually ever

telling it!

Every email is a new opportunity to build a lasting relationship, and it

starts with the recipient learning more about you.

With a proper email signature, you can control the information the

recipient views. Since you have your story all set up, this all works in your

favor.

Here’s my email signature:

Robbie Abed

Independent IT Consultant

E-Mail: Robbie.abed@gmail.com

LinkedIn: http://LinkedIn.com/in/robbiejabed

Mobile: 708.555.5555

My specialty is turning around and leading complex IT Projects by

acting as a communications bridge between IT and Business. Learn

more about me and how I can help you

The “learn more” links to my personal website, which incidentally has my

picture and story on the front page!

Wouldn’t you want to know how many times that the “learn more” link

was clicked? Fortunately for you there is a super simple way to do that.

Step 1: Go to http://bit.ly.

Step 2: Register for a free account.

Step 3: Enter the URL you want shortened (AKA your website URL).

Step 4: In your signature, use this bit.ly link as the hyperlink for the “learn

more” link.

Make sure the visible text is the “learn more” link, and the actual link is

the bit.ly hyperlink behind the “learn more” text.

Now you can check on bit.ly to see how many clicks your link got!

Everything You Need to Know About…

1) Telling better stories

Emma Coats is a storyboard artist for Pixar who created a list titled “The

22 Rules of Storytelling.” It’s an interesting list.

Here are a few that stick out to me:

#11: Putting it on paper lets you start fixing it. If it stays in your

head, a perfect idea, you'll never share it with anyone.

Have you ever come up with a brilliant idea in the shower and thought it

was the greatest idea of mankind? You get out of the shower and tell

someone. They stare blankly back at you.

A few things about that situation:

Screw that person you’re talking to and that dumb blank stare on their

face. I hope that look gets stuck and they have to live with that face for the

rest of their life.

It immediately deflates you. An idea that was going to make you millions

20 minutes ago is now something you will never pursue because it

sounded stupid when it came out of your mouth.

Your friend was right. That idea was stupid.

Put ideas out of your head and on to paper as soon as possible.

#6: What is your character good at, comfortable with? Throw the

polar opposite at them. Challenge them. How do they deal?

This is what career freedom is about and the only approach you can take.

What are you good at? If you’re an amazing engineer, are you bad at

public speaking? Have you tried public speaking? What happens when

you are forced to speak in public?

The same works the other way around. If you’re a great public speaker

and bad at technology, what happens when you take a programming

class? What happens when you try to build a website on your own?

#3: Trying for theme is important, but you won't see what the

story is actually about til you're at the end of it. Now rewrite.

You’ll get lost along the way, which tends to be the best part.

You will rewrite your story multiple times.

I also recommend getting help in this area if this is something you are just

not good at. One of the best storytellers / speakers I know is Brian

Burkhart from Square Planet (http://squareplanet.com). He helped me

structure my story and I have seen him personally turn many really bad

presentations into top notch with just an hour of coaching.

2) Leveraging your LinkedIn profile

I once went on a Twitter rampage about this topic because it’s so

overwritten, it’s crazy. There are probably 50,000 articles out there, and

they all say the same thing about LinkedIn.

Here’s my only advice about your LinkedIn profile:

LinkedIn is the center of your professional brand whether you like it or

not. Take a look at your profile and ask yourself, “Is this really the best I

can do?”

Once you realize your profile is incomplete, your next step is to Google

“LinkedIn Tips.” They all say the same thing, so don’t worry about clicking

on a bad article.

If you don’t have LinkedIn, then please get back on your horse and

carriage.

3) Not letting Facebook ruin your brand

If prospective clients could see my Facebook profile, I promise you

nobody would ever hire me. OK, that’s a little exaggeration, but I post

things on Facebook that I would never in a million years post on LinkedIn

and Twitter.

Here are my golden rules for Facebook:

1. Check your security settings. For the longest time, my posts were

“available to everyone” instead of just my friends. I changed it

back to my friends and everything was good again.

2. Don’t add and accept friend requests from anyone from work

unless you absolutely trust them. Don’t add your boss even if you

do trust her.

3. Your Facebook profile is usually the #1 result on Google for your

name. Turn it off. I would tell you how, but by the time I release

this book, Facebook would have changed the settings 10 times. Try

this link: https://www.facebook.com/help/392235220834308

4) Starting over on Twitter

If you don’t use Twitter or don’t have any plans on using Twitter, I’m not

going to convince you. Just skip this section. It’s not for you.

If you do use Twitter, then here is how I use it.

My old way:

• Follow 1,500 people. Get lost in my Twitter feed of people

promoting their websites or the endless tweets that are just noise.

• Read and click links all day. Barely ever comment on anyone’s

status.

My new way:

1. Unfollow everyone. I went from following 1,500 people to 0

followers in 5 minutes. It was the most amazing thing ever.

2. I followed 15 people I knew I would like to hear from.

3. I only follow new people I want to build relationships with. I

interact with them more often, and they interact with me as well.

I used to hate Twitter, and now I actually use it every day since my feed is

under control and I can interact with the people I want to.

How did I unfollow everyone so quickly?

If you use Google Chrome, you can use the extension I used, which

worked perfectly:

• https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/twitter-

unfollow/mmbbkpclbfmdacknjehonbfcilcfnkmb?hl=en-US

This only works if you use Google Chrome as your web browser. You can

just unfollow one by one, but that takes forever if you’re following a lot of

people.

If you look really hard, you’ll see a lot of very successful people on Twitter

who don’t have many followers and tweet quite a bit, but don’t get much

interaction. These people would love for someone to tweet them, and they

usually respond back.

If you tried to email the same person, you would almost never get a

response since they get so much email in their inbox.

5) Branding yourself online

Let’s just say you’re Chinese and your name is Yang Jinhai. For my

readers, this thought shouldn’t be too outlandish.

Life is going great, and you’re in the process of looking for a new job.

You’ve updated your LinkedIn profile because you know employers will be

searching for your name.

There are a few other people named Yang Jinhai, so you uploaded your

picture on LinkedIn to make sure prospective employers can find you

more easily.

You’re having your morning coffee and checking up on recent news. Then

you read this on Time.com:

Entering the tiger enclosure at the Chengdu Zoo in China’s

southwest Sichuan province, a man made vigorous, but

unsuccessful, attempts to entice the animals to eat him, a Chinese

newspaper reported on Tuesday.

“I asked them to bite me and let them eat my meat, and so I did

not fight back,” 27-year old Yang Jinhai told the

Chengdu Business Daily.

Yang, who according to his brother suffers from mental health

issues, climbed a tree to breach the enclosure. Stunned visitors

witnessed how he made “exaggerated movements” for 20 minutes

to tempt the Bengal tigers, but while scratching him and

dragging him by the back of his neck, the beasts refused to

devour him. 6

SON OF A $!$%.

Not the best time to be Yang Jinhai, and it comes at the worst time.

Future employers are going to be searching for you on Google, and the

first results are the guy who couldn’t convince tigers to kill him.

6 http://newsfeed.time.com/2014/02/19/depressed-man-tries-to-feed-himself-to-tigers-gets-rejected/

Here are the search results for Yang Jinhai a few days after the incident.

Yes, this actually happened. I did not Photoshop this picture.

This calls for some damage control. You need to figure out how to make

sure your picture and your description appear #1 alongside your name on

Google.

• If you’re tech savvy and you can navigate the web, check out this

article by Andy Crestodina:

https://blog.kissmetrics.com/personal-branding-seo/

• If you would rather sign up for a service that holds your hand

through the process, check out Brand Yourself:

https://brandyourself.com/

Of course this example is a little crazy, but a big part of online branding is

being able to control how you appear when someone types your name into

Google.

6) Blogging — or not blogging

The only reason I’m able to write this book is because I started blogging

first.

With that said, my recommendation to you is that a blog is probably not

for you. A blog is a good idea for about .03% of the readers of this book.

The rest of you (the other 99.97%) should avoid setting up a blog because

you most likely won’t keep it updated.

There are times when I update the blog 5 times a week and then

sometimes I won’t post anything for over 5 months.

The only time blogging becomes valuable is if you post consistently. For

every 10 people I hear say they wanted to start a blog, I see about 0.5 of

them succeed in actually making their blog a long-term asset.

If you still think you’ll maintain your blog consistently, here are some

sites to do it on:

1) Medium (http://medium.com) — This dead simple platform is

beautiful, and all you have to do is sign up for it. It was created by one of

Twitter’s co-founders.

2) Ghost (http://ghost.org) – Ghost is another simple and beautiful

platform. It’s a little bit more flexible as far as editing the templates, but

still very to use. It’s also open source, meaning you can download it and

host it yourself if you would like. But I recommend the hosted platform.

You can also use this for your main website as long as you set up an about

page.

Case Study: Personal Branding

I remember sitting in a conference room for a work function while

listening to a senior partner talk about personal branding.

She hit all the main points:

You need a 30-second elevator pitch!

Be authentic in your interactions!

Build personal connections with your clients!

You need to differentiate yourself from the others to succeed in

your career!

It meant nothing to me.

I understood and agreed with everything she said, but I didn’t know how

to take that advice and turn it into something more actionable.

I’m going to let you in on a secret that not many people will ever tell you:

Your personal brand doesn’t matter until someone goes out of

their way and endorses you for it.

I joined a mid-size company where my title was a “Senior Consultant.”

Although that was my title, I assisted with other IT functions in the office

just because I knew how.

A director in my office invited me to a networking event and he

introduced me to everyone in the group as the company’s “Director of IT.”

I corrected him because that wasn’t my title. I didn’t like representing

myself as something that I wasn’t. After awhile I gave up, because he was

still going to introduce me as the Director of IT no matter how many

times I corrected him.

A few months later, a position opened up for Director of IT. This same

director recommended me for the job even though I had never held a

“Director of IT” position before and didn’t even have relevant job

experience for this position, especially for a company of this size.

I was offered the Director of IT job.

I took it.

If it were never for him, I would have never been offered this job or even

thought of myself as remotely qualified for the position.

Let me take this one step further. Justin Timberlake credits Michael

Jackson for giving him the confidence to leave ‘N Sync to go solo7

But Jackson later got back in touch: "[He] called me on the phone

and said that he wanted to cut the record, but he wanted it to be a

duet between himself and I," Timberlake said. "And I said, 'Well

... we've already cut the song as an 'N Sync record. Could we do,

like, ''N Sync featuring Michael Jackson', or 'Michael Jackson

featuring 'N Sync'? And he was very absolute about the fact that

he wanted it to be a duet between himself and I."

That discussion was "the first idea I ever got about doing

something on my own", Timberlake revealed. "It was the first

time I ever really felt the confidence to do it." Though Gone was

released by 'N Sync - minus Jackson - on the boy band's final

7 http://www.theguardian.com/music/2014/may/07/justin-timberlake-career-michael-jackson

album, Timberlake put out his first solo LP about a year later, in

November 2002.

So here’s my advice for you while you build your personal brand:

Convince one other person first, then you can convince

yourself.

Month 3: Create Something

The Hardest Part About Starting Anything

Whether you’re starting a new job search or exploring different ways to

get out of your dead-end company, starting the process is hard.

Here is a list of excuses you tell yourself.

It takes too long.

It’s too risky.

It takes longer than it should have taken.

It shouldn't be that hard to do, but it is.

I don't have the right skill set to start it.

I don't have the right skill set to finish it.

I don't have enough money to do it.

I can't convince other people to give me money to do it.

I barely have enough money for my family and me.

I don't know the right people to get it done.

I don't have a mentor.

The people who know how to get it done won't reply to my emails.

I don't know where to start.

I don't have enough time to start it.

I don't have enough time to finish it.

It's not worth my time to learn a specific skill set.

I don't have enough people on my team.

It sounds better in my head than it does in real life.

My real job takes up all of my time.

My family takes up all of my time.

Surfing the Internet is easier.

People might not like it.

People actually don't like it.

I can't get enough people to use it.

I don't know enough people.

I don't know the right people.

I think someone will steal my idea if I do it.

What I built is amazing, but people don't know about it yet.

A lot of people know about it, but they don't use it.

People are too busy to respond back to me.

I’m too old to do it.

People will laugh at what I built.

People won't use what I built.

I’m not smart enough.

I don't have enough patience.

I don't want other people to know what I’m working on.

Someone already created what I wanted to create.

My idea wasn't really that great to start with.

The biggest obstacle to starting anything is you. You get in the way of

yourself. You care too much about what other people will think about it.

So what if people won't respond back to you? So what if people will laugh

at what you built? When you die, are they going to look over your grave

and say:

"Do you remember how crappy Robbie's blog was? I can't believe

he spent his time on that. I think he paid $10 for that lousy theme.

Actually, I think he created it himself! It was full of grammatical

errors and link bait headlines."

And what if they do say that? You're DEAD. It doesn't matter what they

think! LITERALLY.

Would you rather the conversation over your grave be like this?

"Whatever happened to the blog Robbie talked about writing? He

spent so much time talking about it, but I never actually saw it.

That was Robbie's problem: He had all these ideas, but never

finished anything."

No matter what decision you make, it will always be wrong.

Live your own life and stop caring what others will think about you. Start

something and finish it. Then laugh at how stupid your creation was. Then

create a better version. And repeat it until you’re happy with the result.

Once you realize that failure is a made-up word and what others think

about you doesn't really matter, anything becomes possible.

Consumers, Critics and Creators

There are 3 types of people in this world:

1) Consumers

2) Critics

3) Creators

A consumer is someone who consumes information such as reading blogs,

articles and books. A consumer will criticize once in a while, but will also

say great things about a product or article if they like it.

A critic is a hater. Everybody has at least one friend who criticizes

everything. Elon Musk can send 25 humans to Mars to create a human

colony and your friend would criticize the font used on the spaceships

because it wasn’t big enough and that Elon “doesn’t get digital.”

A creator is someone who creates something that consumers (and critics)

consume. A creator opens herself to criticism. A creator opens herself to

hearing suggestions on how to better improve her product even if she

doesn’t ask for them. A creator opens herself to the chance that no one

will pay attention to what she created.

Which one are you? If you are like 90% of people, you are a mix of a

consumer and a critic.

Houston, we have a problem.

To achieve your goals, you need to switch from a consumer / critic to a

creator.

This is where most people just shut down and surrender. To change your

personal brand, you have to be creator. There really is no other choice.

Whatever you create will be the center of how you interact with your new

industry going forward. Without creating this, I'm sorry to say that the

rest of the plan becomes a lot less effective.

I will admit it. Creating something from idea to full execution is extremely

difficult.

If you don't create something, you will be just like everyone else who says

they can do other jobs. It's either you tell people, or you show people. I

want you to do the latter.

Action Plan: Move From “I can do that” to “I did that”

“Do what you’re passionate about and the money will follow.”

I want to gather everyone who has uttered these words and line them up

in one big line where they stand shoulder to shoulder. With the biggest

rubber hand I can find and the fastest golf cart money can buy, I'm going

to push the gas on that cart as fast as I can and slap everyone in the face

with my rubber hand. When I'm done, I'm going to reverse the cart so I

can also backslap them.

Mark Cuban said this on his blog: 8

"Let me make this as clear as possible

1. When you work hard at something you become good at it.

2. When you become good at doing something, you will enjoy it

more.

3. When you enjoy doing something, there is a very good chance

you will become passionate or more passionate about it.

4. When you are good at something, passionate and work even

harder to excel and be the best at it, good things happen.

Don’t follow your passions, follow your effort. It will lead you to

your passions and to success, however you define it.”

8 http://blogmaverick.com/2012/03/18/dont-follow-your-passion-follow-your-effort/

AMEN!

My passion is food. If I followed my passion, I would have became a food

critic. Except instead of rating the food and writing articles about it, I

would just post the pictures on Facebook and Instagram and fish for as

many likes as I could get.

Too bad I already do that and my followers hate me for it.

So it’s safe to say that I should just stick with what I’m good at.

If you’re like me, you don’t know why you do the things you do. You just

do it day in and day out. Then all of a sudden, one day you realize you’re

actually really good at it.

The purpose of this action plan is to learn by doing. You don’t have to take

a Myers-Brigg test to make sure you’re doing what you excel at or find out

“what flower you are” so you can be guided in the right direction.

There is no right direction, so don’t be fooled into thinking there is one.

Activity

The goal of this activity is to reduce the barriers that are blocking you

from starting your own company or being hired in your desired industry.

You will do this by creating a company with every expectation that the

actual company will eventually fail, but will generate enough value for you

to be in the industry that you want to be in.

Creating a company will allow you to:

- Build more professional connections that can help you

- Build your brand as someone who knows something about your

desired industry

- Accelerate your learning about failure and success

The first problem you will face is that you need help creating what you

want to create.

This activity requires you to do one thing consistently: Tell

everyone and anyone who can help what your idea is and what you need

the most help with.

If only you had a network of people who have done what you have tried

and can give you advice. Too bad that network doesn’t exist for you.

However, there is hope for you.

The one secret to getting introduced to successful people

I know the next chapter is going to cover building and maintaining

relationships extensively, but I couldn’t help myself.

There is a single strategy to getting introduced to new people that no one

really talks about.

When I quit my job to start a company, I wanted to get to know more

entrepreneurs, investors and other successful people.

The only problem was I didn’t know anyone who could help me. When I

say that, I mean zero people. Not a single uncle, cousin or university

alumni. I was completely on my own.

So how did I get to know so many new people in such a little time?

Every time I met someone new at networking event, I told him or her

what I was looking to build. I told them my idea from start to finish. I

then asked for their advice on what I should do next.

That’s it. That’s all I did. That’s the secret.

I told them what I wanted to do, and then I asked for their advice.

Do you know why it was so effective? It was so effective because people

wanted to help me. They wanted to offer their assistance, and if they

couldn’t offer any advice they often knew someone who could.

And that’s where the introduction comes in. They knew someone who

knew my desired industry in and out and offered to introduce me to them.

They offered an introduction, and before I knew it I was taking an elevator

to the 50th floor of the Hancock skyscraper talking to someone who had all

the answers I was looking for. I got great feedback along with a new

connection.

I would have never met this person at a networking event — at least not

the ones I’m invited to. This person would have never accepted my cold

email or LinkedIn request no matter how I phrased the email.

To be honest, I would have never even known that person even existed if

it weren’t for the stranger I just met who kindly offered to introduce me to

them.

Why many people will never do this

I just told you the secret to meeting successful people, and you know why

many people still won’t do this?

They’re afraid someone will steal their idea, and they’re afraid to ask for

help.

Nobody is forcing you to reveal your amazing billion-dollar idea, but if

you don’t tell anyone, no one will ever help you. So if someone asks you to

sign an Non-Disclosure Agreement (NDA) or even worse yet, YOU ask

someone to sign an NDA before you tell them your idea, do us all a favor:

Go to the nearest Wal-Mart and buy 10 Monopoly game sets. Open them

all up and take the money out and put it into a plastic bag. Throw the rest

away.

Wait until everyone leaves your apartment or house, and go to your

bedroom with the plastic bag full of cash. Jump on to your bed, turn on

your ceiling fan to the highest setting and start throwing the Monopoly

money in the air like you just built and sold your company for a billion

dollars.

That’s the closest you’re going to get to becoming a successful

entrepreneur.

An idea is just that, an idea.

You get connected to successful people by trusting the connections of

others and trusting the introductions of others. As soon as you give off the

vibe that you don’t trust anyone, no one will ever trust you and your idea

will remain just an idea forever.

Excuses you will tell yourself on why you can’t create something

- My ideas aren’t any good – Tell that to the millionaires who

created the Pet Rock and the Snuggie.9

- I don’t have the time – So why are you reading this right now,

exactly? Shouldn’t you be spending more time complaining about

how you hate your job and how bad the job economy is and how

employers require 7 years experience for an entry-level job? That

sounds like a beautiful way to spend the rest of your life if you ask

me.

- I don’t know which idea to pick – So your solution is to pick

nothing and complain about which idea to pick?

9 http://www.businessinsider.com/9-ridiculous-ideas-that-made-people-ridiculously-rich-2011-3?op=1

- My boss will find out and fire me – You mean, your boss is

going to find out that you are trying to better yourself and build a

brand name for yourself? Remember, these exercises are built

around you and your brand – not some new idea that’s competing

with your current employer. If you’re building an idea that

competes with your current company, then yes, only share it with

people you trust.

- I’m afraid no one will like it – Now we’re talking! You should

be afraid no one would like it! This should drive you to create

something great. What happens if no one likes it? I’ll let you in on

a little secret: If you create something, someone will hate it. You

know who criticizes work the most? People who consume things

and don’t create things. Your goal isn’t to create something that

everyone likes. Your goal is to create something that a few people

will like and allow you to build your personal brand.

Here is a list of things that don't count as "creating something"

- Participating in the #grammys commentary on Twitter. I haven't

seen a worse group of people than those who participate in these

“live tweeting” exercises.

- Sharing the "latest news" in your industry. This is what most

people do. I see it all the time on LinkedIn specifically. All it shows

is that you can post links.

Everything You Need to Know About…

Consumers

What is a consumer? According to Wikipedia:

A consumer is a person or group of people, such as a household, who

are the final users of products or services. The consumer's use is final in

the sense that the product is usually not improved by the use.

A product can also be digital such as Facebook or a newspaper or an

online publication. Every time you read an article online, you’re a

consumer of that product.

Consumers are necessary to keep the economy running. But, most

consumers never ever create anything.

Creators

Creators create the things you consume.

The founder of the company you work for is the creator. Someone else

created the event you went to last night. The phone you use every day, you

guessed it, was created by someone else. The fashion show that you’re

going to next week: also created by someone else.

What do creators all have in common? They all started with an idea.

I don’t know about you, but I’m always thinking of ideas. I formulate ideas

by doing 3 things non-stop:

Write it down - As soon as I come up with an idea, I write it down in my

notes app on my phone.

Read non-fiction books - I usually come up with ideas when I’m

reading. I’m the kind of person who can read an entire page without

actually reading because I’m too consumed with an idea I just came up

with.

Meet new people – Meeting new people allows me to learn new things

about different industries as well as different problems those industries

face.

Critics

Screw these people. That’s all I have to say.

Job Trends and Digital Innovation

According to the latest statistics released by the Bureau of Labor

Statistics, the number of contingent workers in the USA today

stands at 2,679,800 – nudging the all-time high record of

2,767,300 set in October 2006. While the economy as a whole has

shown a 1.56% increase in the number of jobs available;

contingent work has grown at the rate of 7.5%. What is more, a

recent survey has 40% of employers stating that they have plans

to hire contingent workers this year.

1/3 of America’s workforce is contingent workers. That’s a big percentage.

Here is an excerpt from an Accenture Survey10 titled “Trends Reshaping

the Future of HR. The Rise of the Extended Workforce.”

10 http://www.accenture.com/SiteCollectionDocuments/PDF/Accenture-Future-of-HR-Rise-Extended-Workforce.pdf

“To compete in the future, organizations will need to push talent

management beyond the confines of the enterprise wall to include

the new extended workforce: a global network of outside

contractors, outsourcing partners, vendors, strategic partners

and other nontraditional workers. By maximizing the potential of

both an extended workforce and permanent employees,

companies can gain critical advantages—including agility and

access to valuable talent.“

To give you context, this was the front and center to the report and

displayed on a single page.

Outsourcing contracts with Fortune 100 companies have more

than doubled since 2000. According to some studies, about 20

percent of global companies have outsourced or offshored

workers. Outsourcing is now an estimated $6 trillion global

industry and is expected to keep growing

The question is, if companies are increasing outsourcing, who are they

hiring? And maybe more importantly, who are they letting go?

Many of today’s contingent workers have high-level skills, deliver

top performance and are deeply engaged in their work. Often,

they have consciously chosen this type of work over permanent

employment.

High-level skills, top performers. Are you reading this?

Employers’ focus on stable, predictable job roles is giving way to

an emphasis on project work, which lends itself to hiring more

workers on a project basis. Increasingly, jobs may become

replaced by projects. This could give rise to a highly mobile

workforce whose members rapidly assemble and reassemble

around projects. In today’s organizations, people are often pulled

onto teams because of their formally defined role in the

organization. We believe that enterprises could radically boost

their performance by sourcing talent for each task from

anywhere inside or outside the organization on one criterion:

who is the best person to perform the task?

This last line says it all.

Who is the best person to perform this task?

So what task are you the best person for?

I’m hoping the story you created answers that question. If you can’t

answer that question, then you need to revisit your story.

If companies are leaning on outsourcing companies, who are the

outsourcing companies hiring?

Let’s look at some of the top consulting companies.

Deloitte LLP (US):

Staff headcount (consultants) have grown 18% since 2011.

The growth of digital innovation for consulting companies

• Deloitte Digital was created on May 14th, 201211

• Accenture Digital was created on December 3rd, 201312

Accenture, which is the world’s largest consulting company, has no choice

but to stay ahead of the curve.

So where is Accenture heading?

Let’s take a look at some of the recent acquisitions:

11 12 http://newsroom.accenture.com/news/accenture-launches-integrated-digital-capability-to-help-clients-accelerate-growth-through-digital-transformation.htm

Accenture

• Accenture to Strengthen Digital Marketing and eCommerce

Capabilities with Acquisition of Acquity Group13

• Accenture to Enhance Digital and Marketing Capabilities with

Acquisition of Fjord14

Accenture is a technology company so that’s expected of them. What

about the traditional Big 4 Tax, Audit & Accounting firms?

Deloitte:

• Deloitte Buys In To Mobile Apps, Pays $40-50M For Apple's

Friend Ubermind15

• Deloitte Digital Acquires Digital Agency Banyan Branch -

Consultant Moves Deeper Into Agency Turf With Purchase16

PWC:

• Exclusive: PWC strikes deal to buy BGT Partners17

KPMG

• KPMG Acquires Digital Mobility Company Cynergy Systems18

Ernst & Young

13 http://newsroom.accenture.com/article_display.cfm?article_id=5740 14 http://newsroom.accenture.com/article_display.cfm?article_id=5726 15 http://gigaom.com/2012/01/05/419-deloitte-buys-in-to-mobile-apps-pays-40-50m-for-apples-friend-ubermind/ 16 http://adage.com/article/agency-news/deloitte-digital-acquires-digital-agency-banyan-branch/244848/ 17 http://www.bizjournals.com/southflorida/news/2013/09/24/exclusive-pwc-strikes-deal-to-buy-bgt.html?page=all 18 https://www.kpmg.com/us/en/issuesandinsights/articlespublications/press-releases/pages/kpmg-acquires-digital-mobility-company-cynergy-systems.aspx

• Semphonic joins Ernst & Young LLP, expanding its digital

measurement19

The conservative risk adverse companies are buying heavily into digital

and focusing on innovation! Didn’t see that one coming, did you?

The big 4 are investing in the future and it looks drastically different than

what they are used to.

Why didn’t these firms just train their IT consultants in digital interactive

marketing, mobile and innovation?

As someone who has worked as an IT consultant for Deloitte and

Accenture, that’s out of the question. The skillset to be a management

consultant is much different than working for an interactive agency or an

innovation practice.

Their consulting practices continue to grow, but their digital presence is

lacking and this is why those acquisitions are necessary.

Take this quote for an example:

“When we got the call that Deloitte wanted to send five people up

to Seattle to meet with us, my first reaction was, ‘What? The

accounting firm?’ because I was not aware of what Deloitte

Digital was doing,” said Dave Hanley, principal of Banyan

Branch, although he said he was aware of Deloitte’s growing

digital clout.

The founder of the company had no idea Deloitte would even be remotely

interested in their work, let alone want to acquire them.

The writing is on the wall.

19 http://www.ey.com/US/en/Newsroom/News-releases/Semphonic-joins-Ernst---Young-LLP--expanding-its-digital-measurement

These consulting companies have no choice but to expand in the digital

space and the only way they can do it effectively is to acquire companies

that have that knowledge.

This is a major gap for these larger consulting firms.

Let’s look at industry growth projections.

According to BLS, the top 7 industries expected to be the fastest growing,

3 of them are professional and business services. In fact, of the top 20, 6

of them are professional business service related, which is more than any

sector on the list.

OK, let’s look at some other non-consulting companies.

Wal-Mart created @WalmartLabs.20

As the idea incubator for the world's largest global retailer, we

don't just build products. We bring experiences to life. Every day

is an opportunity to reshape the eCommerce landscape while

having a lasting impact on the industry.

So, has Wal-Mart hired internal employees to lead @WalmartLabs?

Yes and no.

20 http://walmartlabs.com

“In addition to growing our team organically, @WalmartLabs

has acquired businesses that help us grow our expertise to build

best-in-class eCommerce technologies and talent. These partners,

combined with the assets of the world’s biggest retailer, empower

us to deliver a unique customer experience.”

Innovation and digital go hand in hand.

Let’s put this into more context.

This guy (Barack Obama)

Hired this guy (Michael Slaby) in 2007 as the CTO of the Obama

Campaign:

In 2011, he hired this guy as the CTO for the Obama Campaign (Harper

Reed):

You don’t need to do a double take to see the difference from 2007 and

2011. The types of people leading innovation are much different than they

were in 2008.

Michael Slaby was also the Chief Integration and Innovation Officer for

the Obama Campaign in 2011-2012.

You no longer need to be in a suit to be in charge of innovation. It comes

in all shapes and sizes.

Case Study: Connections Newsletter

Goal: Build a sustainable private network of people who can and WANT

to help you when you need it the most.

Mental Activity

The best time to look for a new job is when you don’t need one.

One activity I did was to create a “connections newsletter.” Once a month,

I would email this group to let them know about people looking for jobs

and companies that were hiring. In the process, I helped many people find

new jobs and connected a whole lot of people. I also created this group so

I could tap my connections in case I was desperate to find a new job.

To this day, this private email list is by far the best asset I have created for

myself.

How prepared are you to find another job if you were to get fired today?

For this uncomfortable challenge, I want you to imagine the client had to

do an emergency budget cut and let you go, effective immediately. No

severance pay or 2 weeks notice because you’re an independent

consultant.

This challenge is meant to mitigate the risk of you having to start from

scratch again with your job search.

Uncomfortable Challenge

• Create a “Connections” or a “Check-In” newsletter where you

email a list of people at least once every 2 months.

o DO  include  people  you  met  for  coffee  and  co-­‐workers  at  

previous   jobs. The first compilation of the newsletter

takes the longest, so I recommend setting a few hours

out of your day to compile this original list.

o DO   NOT   include   people   you   work   with   UNLESS   you  

absolutely   trust   them. The reason is that you might

need to use this newsletter to look for a new job.

o Be  consistent  with  sending  the  newsletter. I would send

this at the most once every 2 weeks, and at the

minimum once every 3 months.

o Keep it private. This is very important. For this to

work properly, it must be a private group of only the

connections you trust. As soon as you introduce shady

or untrustworthy people into your network, others

start to lose trust in you.

After completing this activity, you have now created a private network

that works for you. A private network you can bounce ideas off of and get

leads for new opportunities for you. A private network of people who

know, like and trust you.

In this situation, your client just let you go. Now you have a group of

people you can send an email to and you better believe they will go out of

their way to help you.

If you didn’t set up this newsletter, they would have received an email

from someone they haven’t talked to in like 3 years. Their reaction would

be, “Oh wow, this person only emails me when he or she needs

something.” They would then proceed to delete your email even if they

can help you.

The uncomfortable truth about this challenge

The uncomfortable truth is that you’re afraid to send out a newsletter to

many people at once.

The uncomfortable truth is that you’re afraid you will bother people by

sending them an email.

The uncomfortable truth is that you’re afraid you won’t be able to handle

it when someone unsubscribes from your newsletter.

All these fears are true.

I stare at the send button for at least a minute before I click it. I re-review

it at least 8 times before I send it.

I hate bothering people, so I don’t send emails more once than once every

2 weeks even though I know I could get away with sending more.

I have a mini freak-out every time someone unsubscribes from my

newsletter.

But then I keep clicking the send button, and people respond positively to

it. And somehow I eventually get 2 new subscribers for every one I lose.

+1 Robbie.

Month 4 – Building and maintaining relationships

Your Professional Network Sucks

You’re eating lunch at your desk. You realize this mini break (although

you’re working through lunch) is the best part of your day. The thought

races through your head that it’s about time to get a new job. You aren’t

happy with what you have now. You need something new and refreshing

with better career potential.

You think about next steps. You want to start interviewing as soon as

possible and see what’s out there. You hate the idea of updating your

resume and applying for jobs online. You need a more streamlined and

efficient process.

Maybe you tell a few close people you’re looking for a new job and ask for

their help. Sounds like a great idea. Now the question is whom do you

tell?

Your friends?

Colleagues you work with?

Your favorite Starbucks barista?

You need someone who will keep it private but will also give you great

advice on next steps. Someone who will connect you with the right people.

Isn’t this what LinkedIn was created for? You immediately go on LinkedIn

and start browsing your connections for people who can help you.

Then it dawns on you. Everyone in your network is useless. Well, they

aren’t exactly useless – but they’re useless to you.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news here, but this is all your fault.

Here are 5 reasons you’re at fault:

1. Everyone in your network is from your current or past jobs.

2. You didn’t actively try to meet new people.

3. You helped zero people within your network. No one owes you

any favors.

4. Remember that email that you haven’t responded back to yet?

Trust me, they didn’t forget.

5. No one knows who you really are beyond your previous job titles.

How to fix your network?

The easy answer: Meet people who could help you in 6 months, not who

can help you now. As Wayne Gretzky famously said, “Skate where

the puck’s going, not where it’s been.”

1. Set up coffee meetings — a lot of them. Can’t get away in the

morning? Meet during lunch.

2. Meet different people, not just people in your industry.

3. Respond to all those emails sitting in your inbox. Offer your

help.

4. Reconnect with people you haven’t met in a while.

5. Be consistent. Do it every single day. It’s exhausting, but it’s

worth every second.

Find a Second Home,

Fast

Coffee meetings are a fantastic way to connect with people, but they do

have their limits with the types of people you can connect with. I wanted

to connect with more influential people in Chicago such as investors or

successful founders of startups.

The main challenge with coffee meetings is that influential people

generally don’t like to take coffee meetings unless there is a benefit for

them.

So, if I wanted to build a relationship with an influential person, I needed

to have a good reason for them to meet with me. I couldn’t email an

influential person and say hey, want to meet up for coffee with someone

you've never met? That has a 0% chance of working.

My solution to this barrier was to find a second home.

I defined a successful second home as:

1. An existing community or organization of people who have skills

close to my desired skill-set.

2. A community that contains a mix of successful people and others

who want to be successful in their professions.

3. A community in which I can have honest conversations about what

I’m trying to accomplish as well as provide feedback to their goals.

After some research, I found the company Technori met all this criteria.

Technori’s main mission was to connect like-minded entrepreneurs and

celebrate entrepreneurship.

There were 3 reasons why I wanted to get involved with Technori:

1) Technori had a great reputation in the Chicago community of attracting

genuine, successful, motivated entrepreneurs.

2) Technori built a great community in Chicago where like-minded

entrepreneurs met every Friday over drinks. The location of the event

wasn’t publicized so you had to be on a private email list to know where to

meet.

3) The co-founder of the company, Seth Kravitz, was a super connector.

He knew everyone in the community and had just successfully exited the

last company he started.

One day Technori sent out an email asking if people wanted to get

involved with Technori for content generation. I replied back to the email

and said I was definitely willing to help.

No response.

I sent a follow up email.

No response again.

So, I found the co-founder’s email on the Technori website. I emailed her

and told her I wanted to help out Technori in any way. Lucky for me, she

answered and invited me to the private Friday event at a restaurant.

I gladly accepted and I met her there. She then introduced me to Seth and

we talked for 15 minutes where I again told him that I wanted to help out

with Technori because I was looking to get connected in the community

and that I respected Technori.

Long story short, he gave me work to do along with a desk in an office in

downtown Chicago to work out of. I showed up every single day and

started to help out with more Technori related items.

Once I was officially involved with Technori, my ability to meet influential

people increased ten-fold because of the access to keynote speakers who

spoke at the many events Technori hosted.

To this day, the best decision I’ve made was to join Technori. It gave me

not only a second home, but also a second family. It worked so well that

Seth Kravitz wrote the foreword for my book.

Which brings me to the main point of this chapter.

You should have 2 families at all time:

• Your immediate family

• Your professional family that is separate from your job, AKA your

second home

A second home allows you to create a safety net and empowers you to

advance your career.

Your boss will never tell you, “Hey Jenny, I was talking with an old friend

who is looking for a new senior analyst at his company. I told him I

thought you would be a perfect fit and that you should leave this company

and work for him!”

It’s not your boss’s job to look out for your overall career path, just your

career within the company. Big difference!

However, someone from your second home will say that to you because

they have nothing to lose if you accept the job. In fact, they will gain

because you will be indebted to this person for helping you find a job.

Every Single Relationship Counts

Jason Fried wrote a post about how he was selected to write an opinion

piece for the New York Times21. In it, he writes:

“When you look back on events, it’s pretty incredible how things

come together. Nothing happens independently. Everything is tied to

something before it. Sometimes the links are more obvious than

others, but it’s healthy to take a few moments to reflect on how many

things – and people – had to come together in order for another thing

to happen. You just never know.”

Jason then listed the specific chain of events that led him to meet a New

York Times writer, and it’s an amazing process.

I started to go through my own chain about how I know the people I

know. It dawned on me that as I’ve met incredible people, I have

employed one single mantra: Every single relationship counts.

All of the great things I have going in my life right now are tied to the

great people I’ve met. I nurtured every relationship I could, and it has

paid off in spades.

Here’s a short example of the chain of events that started 9 years ago:

21 http://signalvnoise.com/posts/3234-connecting-the-dots-how-my-opinion-made-it-into-the-new-york-times-today

1. I applied for an internship on the website flipdog.com while I

was in college. Got job offer, later found out that my new boss

had no idea how the job posting found its way to some

random job website.

2. The boss liked me, then asked me if I wanted to build a

website for someone else. I said yes.

3. A co-worker told my boss his friend could do it instead

because he needed the money more than I did. I persisted,

letting my boss know that I was the guy for the job.

4. Through my persistence, I got the chance to create the website

for that new client. He eventually became my mentor.

5. 7 years later, I was looking for a new job and he brought me

on board as the Director of IT for a company he joined.

All of this happened because my boss 7 years prior liked me and was kind

enough to pass along another great work opportunity as a result.

How to make relationships work for you

Put yourself out there. This is probably the easiest step, but the one

that few people actually take. The only way to make relationships work for

you is put yourself out there so you can build great new relationships in

the first place.

Connect others. The best networkers I have seen are the ones who can

and want to connect me with other people who can help me. If you’re an

IT person and someone needs social media help, connect them with your

close social media friends.

Have integrity. Integrity matters in everything you do, and everyone

can tell instantly how genuine you really are. Jeff Carter wrote a great

article22 about why integrity matters in everything, and I couldn’t agree

more with his post.

In it he writes:

“In my own dealings with people, I’d rather be blunt and obvious

than hide behind mystery, or phrasing things politically. It cuts to the

chase and saves everyone time-and money. You don’t have to be a

dick, but it does help to be transparent. If you don’t like something

say it.”

Not many people are like Jeff and would rather not respond to your email

request or just lie and say, “That idea is great, I think it will make you

millions!”

Be consistent. This is by far the hardest to do, but if done right, you will

absolutely reap the rewards. Consistently attend networking events,

connect others and do things with integrity.

Just remember:

Every single relationship counts.

Integrity matters in everything.

You just never know where a relationship will take you.

22 http://pointsandfigures.com/2012/08/08/integrity-matters-in-everything/

How to Get People to Like You and Help You

Every time a talented photographer friend posts a picture online, I

mumble to myself, "That mother F%$#%$..." and begrudgingly like his

picture on Facebook and then again on Instagram. He's so good at it, and

it makes me mad. It makes me mad because for most of my life, I thought

I had no real valuable skills.

Have you seen that Seinfeld episode where George doesn't know what to

do with his life?

In this particular episode, George quits his job and is talking to Jerry

about potential career options:

George: I like sports... I can do something in sports.

Jerry: Okay... umm... in... what capacity?

George: You know... Like the general manager for a baseball

team... <cue laughter>

That used to be me, but I think I have it all figured out now.

I've learned how to meet people and get them to help me. Some

influential, some not.

I didn't realize it until I was able to do the following:

Clear My Mind

I always thought I had a clear mind. That is, until I actually had a clear

mind and knew what that meant.

I was able to clear my mind by doing 2 things:

1) Forgive others who screwed me

Forgiving people is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Especially

when they don't deserve to be forgiven.

I'm asking you to forgive others who wronged you. Whether it was

personally or professionally.

Stop hating them. Stop being jealous of them. Let it go. Come to terms

with it. Don't try to understand why they did this to you. They did it for

their own reasons.

2) Forgive myself

In the beginning of my career as a consultant, I was so hard on myself. As

I mentioned in the first chapter, the absolute worst time for me was year-

end reviews with my managers. They were always positive reviews, except

I always received 1 or 2 constructive criticisms. I always left those

meetings hating myself, even if I got the highest rating.

I didn't need to be perfect, but I was just so concerned with how others

perceived me. I don't know why, it was just the way it was.

So what I'm asking you is to give yourself a break. Forgive yourself for

making that mistake at your job that made everyone including executive

leadership mad at you.

You know that queasy feeling you get in your stomach when you see

another person who you personally or professionally let down and are

unable to look in the eye anymore? It's OK. We all have that feeling once

in a while. Some let it stay with them. Some forgive themselves and let it

go.

Forgive yourself for not taking that job when you had the chance. You

thought you did the right thing at the time. It's OK. Let it go. There’s

nothing you can do about it now. So move on.

Forgive others, and most importantly, forgive yourself.

You are an Equal

I have a friend who hates bothering busy people. I once connected him

with an influential contact. Let's call this influential person Donald. I did

everything by the book. I asked Donald if he was willing to meet with my

friend who needed deeper connections to find a better job. He said yes.

Great.

I sent an email introducing both of them. A couple months later, I asked

my friend how the meeting went. Here’s how the conversation went:

Me: How did the conversation go with Donald?

Friend: I sent him an email after you connected us. He never responded

back.

Me: Oh, I'm sorry. Did you follow up?

Friend: Nah, I didn't want to bother the guy. I know he's really busy. I

don't want to be an annoyance.

Me: I already talked with him. He said he'd meet with you. This wasn't a

cold email. You just need to at least follow up one more time. This person

keeps his word when he says yes. I created a warm environment for you,

so you just need to persistent with him to get the meeting.

Friend: Are you sure? Man, I really don't want to bother the guy. He's got

so many things going on and I'm just going to annoy him.

Me: <Shaking my head> Well, you know what this person thinks now

right? Donald's thinking it wasn't important that you needed to meet with

him, so he just ignored the original email. If it were important, you would

have followed up at least once. You're right. He is too busy. He's too busy

to meet with people who never really wanted to meet with him in the first

place. Your loss.

Stop thinking about what this other person will think of you. Chances are

if you don't follow up to a warm email, that person will think you never

wanted to meet with them in the first place.

Which brings me to my main point:

If you think you are an equal, you will become an equal.

You are an equal to Donald. Even if Donald won 4 Nobel Peace Prizes, has

10 Ph.D.s and shot a hole in one as a lefty.

Even if you desperately need a job from Donald and Donald can make it

happen.

Even if Donald is smarter, better looking, lives in a better neighborhood

and buys islands because he's got nothing else to do with all his money.

You are equal to him.

My point is: You have to believe you are an equal or your relationships

with influential people will fail. No one wants to do business with

someone below them.

The same goes for you. You're not trying to do business with someone

who has less credibility than you have, right? The same goes for the

influential. They think identically to how you think.

Strategic Partnerships and Stalking

I had the pleasure to see Daymond John from Shark Tank speak at a

private event, and he spoke about how he started FUBU.

He was able to convince LL Cool JJ (remember this is like 1999) to wear

his clothing for promotional purposes. Gap approached LL Cool J to do a

free style rap commercial for them. LL Cool J said OK, but only if he could

wear a FUBU hat during the commercial. Gap spent $30 million on a

commercial where LL Cool J wore a FUBU hat and even slipped in their

slogan "For us by us.”

How much did FUBU pay for this advertisement? Nothing. Zilch. All free

advertising. Daymond was able to use a strategic partnership to his

advantage.

How did he get LL Cool J and other rappers to wear his stuff? He stalked

them. He stalked them until they wore his clothing. He stressed how

important stalking is. He said to create a list of people you want to meet

and start stalking. If you do it properly, you’ll be able to get in touch with

them.

I also can't stress enough how important stalking is. If you're able to clear

your mind, consider yourself an equal and give incentive to this person to

believe in you or your brand, the sky is the limit.

Getting an Influential Person to Help You

With a little hesitation that you might discredit this entire book, I'm going

to quote the artist Pitbull.

“Ask for money, and get advice.

Ask for advice, get money twice.”

This works great for many reasons.

I was looking for a new gig and I identified a company I wanted to work

for. I knew a senior level director at this firm, and I was unsure if this

person would refer me to the company or not based on our previous

working relationship.

So I sent him an email asking about the pros and cons of working for this

type of consulting company. I let him know I was looking for jobs at

companies with the same structure.

He responded and let me know briefly about what it was like. He then told

me of a job opening and said he would gladly refer me if I was interested.

Fantastic. What this did was allow me to save face if he didn't want to

refer me. He could have just told me about what it was like working there.

Know, Like and Trust

So, let's just say you need to go in for the kill and ask someone for direct

help.

All you need to know is people do business with people they know, like

and trust. So next time you want to ask someone for help, ask yourself

these 3 questions:

Do they know me?

Do they like me?

Do they trust me?

If you answer yes to all three, go ahead and ask for help.

If you can't answer yes to all three, you can still ask for help. But chances

are they have no incentive to help you and your selfish requests for help.

What if they say no?

Forgive them for not responding positively and forgive yourself for

thinking you look stupid now.

Learn from the experience.

Let it go.

Clear your mind.

Rinse and repeat.

Action Plan: Find Your Second Home

Goal: To become an extremely active member of a professional

organization that aligns with your objectives.

Whew, that was the most long-winded corporate worded sentence if I ever

heard one.

I’m going to teach you how to target, stalk and engage someone, legally of

course.

After befriending them, the next step is for you to move in with them,

assuming they let you into the house, of course. I’m speaking

metaphorically, of course.

I could teach you how to gain entry into Brittany Spears’ mansion without

setting off any alarms, but that wouldn’t relevant now would it. Hint: It

starts with starting a love affair with her bodyguard.

This activity requires a LinkedIn account. At this point, if you don’t have a

LinkedIn profile, you should stop reading and go back to posting quotes

on your Instagram.

If you pay for a premium account, fantastic. If not, you can still do it.

STEP 1: Write down the people you consider the top performers or the

most professionally connected in your desired industry and city.

STEP 2: Murder them

Editors Note: Please do not murder them. You need their help in the next

step. If you get everything you need from them in the next step, then

well… I mean, do what you got to do. Just make it quick and don’t rat me

out man. Your serial murderer trademark could be leaving a quote in the

living room of every person you murder. That would be intriguing.

STEP 2: Email them

Assuming you didn’t murder them, the next best step is to email them

with one simple question.

So, you’re probably thinking, “Well, that escalated quickly Robbie. I

haven’t even met the person and you want me to cold email them?”

The answer is, yes.

Let’s say you want to email Janet Davis who is a VP of a popular digital

agency.

Your email should contain 2 sentences.

Subject: Hi Janet - A good digital marketing event or

organization that you could recommend?

I’m looking for a high-quality networking group to be part of in

the digital marketing space. Are there any you would recommend

in the Chicago downtown or suburban area?

Based on my research, you would be the best person to answer

this question. Thank You!

- Robbie

This email is great for several reasons:

1. It’s under 5 sentences (so it’s short and sweet).

2. You have successfully introduced yourself as someone who is

genuinely curious to join a high-quality group.

3. If she runs a networking group or event, she will recommend that

you attend hers. Voila! This is your “in” to meeting Janet in a

comfortable environment.

4. You’ve shown that you have done research about her, which will

make her more likely to respond.

Once you start your search, you should send at least 5 of these emails.

STEP 3: Plan B: Scope the scene yourself

If you don’t get a response, and don’t know where else to get good

recommendations about local events, this is your next option.

Find 3 types of events:

1) General Meet & Greet Networking (Network after work, Speed

Networking)

2) General Networking with an emphasis (The Chicago Black

Professionals, Cheers for Moms, Chicago Technology LGBT, etc.)

3) Event / Speaker Focused (Tech Event with a speaker)

What event should you go to first?

I know this answer sounds simple, but exudes many people.

1) Go to the event that has the people that you WANT to meet.

2) Go to the event that you have something in common with.

For example, if you are a graduate of Notre Dame University, and you had

the option of going to the Digital Marketers in Chicago Meetup or the

Notre Dame Digital Marketers in Chicago Meetup which one are you

going to go to?

The Notre Dame event. Your college alumni are the most likely to help

you and connect you. The normal digital marketing group will be less

likely to help you initially because they don’t have any common bond with

you.

Whatever you do, don’t go to the event where you feel the most

comfortable. Go to the event that will give you the most value.

Here’s an easy way to get started

1. Go to http://meetup.com

2. Select your city

3. Select Career & Business

If you’re looking to start a company and don’t have a clue where to start, I

see 3 events out of the 8 pictured above that can benefit you immediately

in terms of building connections with Chicago entrepreneurs.

I was going to make a joke about there being only one group for you if you

are Asian, professional AND love horses, but then I realized it’s the year of

the horse for the Chinese Lunar New Year in 2014, so I’m an asshole and I

retract that statement.

STEP 4: Attend

Networking events get a bad rap. I hear the same things over and over

“Oh, they are such a waste of time.” And of course my wife and her

infamous “networking is not working” line.

My advice on this topic is to use networking events consistently as an

entry point into a new industry, then ramp down the number of events

you go to and focus on a few that keep you connected.

Use them as a survival technique initially with the plan of becoming an

official organizer or leader of a Meetup group. My suggestion is not start

one, but to join one.

Networking events are useless for me now because I already know enough

people to get connected to the people I want to.

Tips:

1) Do not go there with an agenda.

2) Do not go there looking for a job.

The only real benefit of a networking event is when you start to see the

same people over and over.

Here is how a conversation usually evolves if you attend the same event

multiple times:

1st time: “Hi John, so what do you do?”

2nd time: “Hey John, good to see you again. How did your project end

up?”

3rd time: “Hey John, pleasure to see as always. My project to get more

connected in the digital marketing space has been going along well. I’m

actually looking to connect with the founders of digital marketing

agencies in Chicago. What do you think the best avenue is for me to do

this? Is there anyone that you can connect me with?

Note: If you don’t have a job right now and you’re not creating anything,

there should be no reason why you aren’t at these events at least 3 times a

week. Going to a networking event is 100 times better than what you are

doing now: “looking for jobs online.”

STEP 5: Get officially involved

If you found a group you like, it’s time to get involved in a low

commitment way so that it doesn’t interfere with your job.

What are the benefits of getting involved?

I tried to re-phrase this question without sounding like your college

counselor, but I couldn’t no matter how hard I tried.

Getting involved and putting yourself out there is the only way to create

opportunities for yourself.

The only difference between this and college is that you aren’t doing this

to build your resume or show that you’ve had a “leadership position.” It

obviously doesn’t hurt, but it’s not going to make a hiring manager

salivate over you.

The purpose of getting involved is to create more opportunities to advance

your career by connecting with people you can help — and who can help

you. If the group is active and you’re an active member, you’ll get first-

hand access to the other members and build better professional

relationships.

Everything You Need to Know About…

Finding like-minded entrepreneurs

Shared co-working spaces are by far the easiest place to find people

working on entrepreneurial projects.

Take a look at http://desktimeapp.com where you can search for co-

working spots. Some offer spaces where you can work nights and

weekends.

Here is a map of all the co-working spaces in Chicago.

As you can tell, there are a lot in Chicago.

NextSpace in Chicago is one of 9 NextSpace locations spread across the

U.S.

If you are looking for entrepreneur events, your first best bet is to look on

meetup.com or eventbrite.com. Start there until you get a better feel for

the city entrepreneur scene.

The true value of networking

If you don’t like networking, don’t do it.

If you would rather meet people on different terms instead of forcing

relationships at events, then don’t go.

If you would rather go to an event, sit in the back and listen to the speaker

and leave when it’s done without talking to a soul, then do that exactly.

If you think that networking is a waste of time and you would rather

spend time working, then get back to work.

If you would rather put your headphones on and stay working without

engaging in meaningless banter happening around you, then keep your

headphones on.

But when you need a favor and you start reaching outside of your

network, don’t expect these people to help you. You didn’t care about

them then, so they won’t care about you now.

The Only Way to Get a Busy Person’s Time

Busy people are busy people. Say that 10 times fast.

There is only one way to get time from an extremely busy person and it

doesn’t include waiting for them in the dark parking garage wearing all

black. That works too, but only for achieving short-term goals and a lot of

prison time.

The successful entrepreneur Steve Blank said:23

“The meeting requests that now jump to the top of my list are the

few, very smart entrepreneurs who say, “I’d like to have coffee to

bounce an idea off of you and in exchange I’ll tell you all about

what we learned about xx.

This offer of teaching me something changes the agenda of the

meeting from a one-way, you’re learning from me, to a two-way,

we’re learning from each other.”

The only way to get a busy person to meet with you is to offer them

something in return. I know this is harder than I make it seem, especially

when you have nothing to offer in return.

Start with the less busy people first, learn more about what you are trying

to create and then eventually you will find out what you can offer a busy

person.

23 http://steveblank.com/2013/08/12/how-to-get-meetings-with-people-too-busy-to-see-you/

Case Study: 250 Coffee Meetings in 400 Days

Meeting is the name. Coffee is the game. As the title suggests, I took 250

coffee meetings in 400 days.

My main motivations were 1) I like meeting and connecting people and 2)

I had just quit my job and had no Chicago connections. I wanted to get

connected in a deep way.

Here’s a summary of what happened as a result of these coffee meetings:

My bullshit detector improved dramatically. I’m not saying it’s

perfect, but I have gotten good at determining who’s telling the truth and

who’s exaggerating. It’s now easy for me to answer these questions: Are

you just trying to get me to develop your product for free, or do you really

want technology insight? Do you really have 3 full-time employees, or are

they all unpaid interns? Is your startup really doing well, or are you just

saying that to make yourself feel better?

Some people have no business being entrepreneurs. I hate to say

this, but some people really should not start a project or quit their job to

start their dream project. I get the hustle and persistence and follow your

dreams and all, but there has to be a point where you look in the mirror

and ask yourself what you’ve really accomplished in the past 6 months or

year. No product, no co-founders, no customers, no funding, no industry

knowledge and no real vision. Sure, it’s a great learning experience, but I

sometimes question why people do it. Get a real job and get paid.

Under no condition should you talk smack or gossip about

another person or their business. I made this mistake once and I’ll

never do it again. Gossip was going around about a startup funding

situation, and I repeated what I had heard at a Starbucks. I’m 99.9% sure

the company’s CEO was sitting right next to me and heard everything I

said. That’s the last time I spread gossip about someone I didn’t even

know. I felt like crap for days. Just don’t do it. I’ve also made the mistake

of telling someone I hate a product, only to discover their best friend was

the founder of that product. It just doesn’t pay to talk smack. Nobody

wins.

People are surprisingly open about difficult situations. I don’t

know if this is a Chicago thing, a startup thing or people just trust me

thing, but for the most part people are willing to share the troubles their

companies have. I like when a meeting starts with “I need help.” It takes

guts to say that and although I usually can’t do much to solve their

problems, I still want to help this person. I appreciate when someone is

vulnerable and opens up.

Trust is everything. “Do I trust you?” is the question I usually ask

myself when meeting someone over coffee. My first goal in any coffee

meeting is to understand how I can help this person. Whether it’s offering

technical advice or connecting them to another entrepreneur, developer,

business owner or investor, I really just want to help. I’m a give forward

type of person. If I trust you and like you, we’ll connect. Sometimes I’m on

the fence about someone. I’m not really sure what this person is really up

to even after a coffee meeting. I will shoot someone else an email or ask

someone I trust what they think about that person. Which brings me to

my next point.

A bad reputation can screw you, quickly. Once word gets out that

you’re a bad person or that you do shady business deals, word travels fast.

Actually the word travels to everyone besides you. If I ask a trusted person

about someone else and I hear bad things, I immediately discredit the

other person. It was as if we never had coffee.

Execution matters. Technical or non-technical, I just want to hear you

created something, anything. It shows that you care and you can execute

at the bare minimum. If I’m talking to you about the same idea you had a

year ago, the conversation isn’t going to last long.

CREATE.CREATE.CREATE. Even if you create something that sucks.

People like other people who create and execute.

The most powerful question you can ask is, “How can I help

you?” It’s a game-changing question. The look on someone’s face and the

contemplative sigh while they think about how I can help them is

awesome. It needs to be asked at every meeting. This question can open

doors and opportunities.

The more I see you, the more I like you, and the more we can

help each other. The coffee meeting is just the start. The people I see

consistently at meetings and networking events are the people I end up

doing business with. It shows they care about the community as much as I

do, and I appreciate their efforts more.

Being addicted to coffee is awesome, but sucks at the same

time. I was anti-coffee in a previous life. Now, I’m all about it. I seriously

cannot imagine a morning without coffee. It’s hot and makes me feel

awesome. It sucks because I know it’s not good for me. I want to stop. But

I probably won’t. Coffee is for closers, right?

Being connected in any community opens a lot of doors. The

people I would have never had access to a year ago are now people I talk

to often. And because I have worked to become connected in a

community, I receive more responses to my cold emails.

Yes, coffee meetings can be a huge waste of time. I don’t take coffee

meetings to make me feel busy. What I did was necessary to build my

personal platform in Chicago, but not necessarily the best route going

forward.

Overall, those 400 days were amazing. I don’t regret taking that many

coffee meetings. It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

Month 5: Be Vulnerable

Rejection and Failure

Definition of rejected:

Definition of failure:

Rejection could mean many things.

• Not getting an email reply from someone you want to do

business with

• Getting rejected from a job or startup you wanted to work for

• Getting rejected for a date with someone you like

Examples of failure include:

• Getting fired from a job or client

• Getting a divorce

• Shutting down a business you started

• Getting kicked off the basketball team

How often do we actually experience failure in our lives? It happens, but

actually a lot less frequently than we think it does.

How often do we get rejected? As a starter, the answer is every day. And it

hurts. It hurts badly.

It hurts because I know another person got the best of me. A human being

on the other end said, “You know what, I don’t want to do business with

you,” or “I just don’t have time to reply to your email.” I couldn’t care less

this person doesn’t want to do business with me, or meet me for coffee, or

whatever it is. It’s that I know this person has the upper hand. By

rejecting me, he or she has the advantage. It makes me feel stupid.

This has been by far the hardest thing to work on as entrepreneur. If I was

playing chess and the IBM super computer beat me, I would be mad —

but I wouldn’t treat it as a rejection or failure. It wouldn’t sting. It would

make me work harder, but the feeling of losing to a computer wouldn’t

necessarily hurt me.

Now, if I got beat by someone else in chess that I thought was inferior to

my chess ability, then it would hurt like hell. It would hurt because I know

the other chess player is happy as hell and he’s laughing all the way to the

bank. It would hurt because now this person “thinks” he is better than me.

Still, to this day, the hardest type of rejection is when I don’t receive an

email response or a phone call back. It’s the hardest because there’s no

closure.

Being rejected is hard to swallow. I still get rejected every day, but how I

handle rejection has changed since I had about a year to learn.

Before:

• I took it personally. It was an obvious attack on me. The other

person obviously has no idea what they were doing. They

didn’t know my true capabilities or my company’s potential.

• I never wanted to see that person again. I would avoid

the embarrassment for both of us.

• I felt dejected and inferior. My anxiety increased with every

rejection.

• I stayed up later at night thinking about why I got rejected.

• I felt like I was doing something wrong.

• I felt like I was the only person ever to get rejected.

• I un-followed them on Twitter so I wouldn’t have to see their

tweets or be reminded of the rejection.

• If they had a recent success, I would never congratulate them.

Why would I if they couldn’t even email me back?

• I felt that they HAD to respond back to me out of human

decency.

After:

• I don’t take it personally. It is what it is.

• I become extremely curious. Why wouldn’t this person

respond back to me? What can I learn from this interaction?

• Read. Read. Read. I read anything that helps me become more

influential, helps me build relationships or has to do with

building better social interactions.

• Write. Write. Write. I write more and make sure they know

that I am still out there.

• Refer them to interesting people I think they should meet.

• Respond to their tweets.

• Learn. Fix. Repeat.

• Don’t get me wrong. Rejection still hurts, but I take each

rejection as a learning experience. I learn how to get rejected

so I can avoid failure. That’s the only way to move forward.

No Response Means NO. Deal With It.

Have you sent an important email to someone recently and are still

waiting for that person to email you back? Has it been more than 3 days

since you sent the email? It was probably a question about a business

relationship, job application, coffee meeting or a request to get press for

your company.

But, still no reply. Weird, right?

You probably made up excuses about why that person hasn’t replied.

“She’s a busy person. She’s probably running across town as we speak

going from meeting to meeting.”

“He probably has it starred in his email and is waiting to get 20 minutes

of relaxation so he can sit down and respond back to me.”

“He probably forwarded it to someone else, and that person hasn’t

responded back yet.”

Let me clue you in. That person already replied back to you, and the

answer was NO.

Except the response isn’t in your inbox or stuck in your SPAM folder. The

lack of a response was the response.

Here’s what that person told you, without ever speaking a word or lifting a

finger.

No, I don’t want to get coffee with you.

No, I cannot connect you with that person.

No, you are not a fit for this job.

You now need to work through the 10 emotional stages of email rejection.

1. Excitement: Send an important email to the person you

want to connect with.

2. Anxiety: Refresh your email constantly for the first 5 hours.

3. Curiosity: Wonder why they haven’t responded back yet.

4. Investigation: Check your spam folder to see if their

response accidentally got flagged.

5. Confusion: Question your email. Maybe it was too long or

too short? Maybe they didn’t like you when you first met

them? Why has that person not responded back yet?

6. Sadness: Be honest, it’s a little dejecting to send an

important email and not get a response.

7. Anger: Why hasn’t that person responded back? How

unprofessional of them. If they wanted to say no, all they had

to do was say NO. That person doesn’t know what they’re

missing out on.

8. Acceptance: Accept this person will not be emailing you

back. It is what it is.

9. Lack of Acceptance: Okay, so you haven’t truly accepted it

yet. They were probably busy and lost track of the email you

sent. So you send another follow up email with a different

approach.

10. Repeat: Go to step 2 and start the process again.

I’ve been on both ends of the response-less email transaction. On one

hand, I wish people would give everyone an ounce of respect for what they

are doing and just reply back with an honest answer.

On the other hand, I can understand people who are bombarded by these

types of requests. If they respond back to the email, it’s just going to lead

to another, and the vicious cycle will continue. It’s not that they don’t

respect the person who emailed them, it’s just that they also need to

respect their own time and priorities.

I’ve learned to accept “NO” responses and move on.

How do you avoid the pain of “No Response” rejection?

The answer to getting a better reply rate to your emails is to offer

something that clearly only benefits the recipient. It’s about providing

valuable information and connections for others before you ever ask for

something from them. Be an authentic and useful connection. Don’t give

them a reason to say “no.”

If you continue to do good work and get noticed in the community, they

will email you back eventually. When they do finally email you, just make

sure to not respond. That’ll teach ‘em.

Everything You Need to Know About…

Rejection

My favorite rejection story was my first interview with Deloitte Consulting

when I was in college. The position was for a consulting analyst.

All I could think of at that time was what the hell is a consultant anyway?

Everything was going well until I interviewed with someone who looked

like he belonged in the Adams family. Except this guy was smart, real

smart. He asked me a question about my resume that I didn’t necessarily

tell the truth about.

I didn’t lie, but I tried to mask my experience as a network engineer

(which was my major) instead of a programmer, which was what I really

did at an internship at another company. He quizzed me on some basic

knowledge and I just could not answer it intelligently because, well, I

wasn’t prepared for it. I messed up bad.

The worst part about this interview was, his eye contact. It was PERFECT.

He stared me down and never ever blinked. I was totally amazed and

freaked out about it at the same time. If there were a staring competition,

he would be the national champion 10 years straight.

He was the Michael Phelps of staring. I promise, it was that good. I can

tell this guy hated me. I didn’t get past the first stage, as I predicted.

The funniest part about this is that a classmate of mine got accepted to

Deloitte out of college and the guy who interviewed me end up being his

boss. At a BBQ somehow my name comes up and he ended up telling my

old classmate that I was the biggest clown he’s ever met. I ended up

interviewing with Deloitte 3 years later and received a job offer, which I

took.

I sent a cordial email to the Adams Family guy when I joined.

He never responded. I don’t blame him.

My point is, rejection happens. Just because one person rejects you,

doesn’t mean you are done for good. Keep trying.

Success and Failure

“Success is like being pregnant. Everybody congratulates you, but nobody

knows how many times you were fucked before you got there.” –

Anonymous

Honestly, I don’t think I need to say anything more about success and

failure. Failure is the only way to achieve success.

Hitting Rock Bottom

There is failure and there is rock bottom.

It’s the difference between not being able to figure out how to make your

business work, and not being able how to figure out how to get home from

work because you have no money and your train card has no credit left.

There is nothing fun about hitting rock bottom, but sometimes it can be

the only way to succeed. Hitting rock bottom forces you to focus on

surviving. I’m not saying you should shoot for hitting rock bottom, but

you will find out what you are truly made of if you allow yourself to be put

in that situation.

Find a mentor to help you grow your company / ideas

How do you find a mentor?

Imagine you’re a 19-year-old teenager and the question was: How do I get

an attractive and smart female to be my girlfriend who I can also bring

home to my parents? I go on all the dating sites, match.com, OKCupid,

etc. but have not met any really attractive smart females that want to be

my girlfriend. What should I do?

The answer to that question, in case you are dying to know, is to be good

looking, successful and to have them chase you, not you chase them. They

will find you, if they want to find you. Straight up asking "Hey, wanna be

my girlfriend?" will likely get you slapped in the face, or in this case they

will ignore your message.

Build it and they will come.

For 8 years, I had a good corporate mentor, but when I jumped into the

startup space I had no one. It wasn't until I quit my job and immersed

myself into the startup scene by helping other people out that other

experienced entrepreneurs were willing to help me out.

Action Plan: Positive Failure

The word “fail” has an extremely negative connotation.

To achieve career freedom, you have to go through failure.

You will send important emails that no one will respond back to. You will

create things that almost no one will use besides your significant other or

family. You will work all weekend on your idea and feel like you have

accomplished nothing.

You will get rejected often.

The action plan for this month is to actively work through failures in a

positive manner. Instead of focusing on your negatives, I’m going to help

you build a stronger immune system to react from failures.

Step 1: Stop being negative and focus on the positives

Instead of saying:

1. Why can’t I succeed in my current job?

2. Why didn’t that person respond to my email?

3. I can’t succeed because I live in the wrong city.

4. I can’t succeed because I don’t know the right people.

5. I can’t get the job I want because I don’t have the right skillset the

employer requires.

6. I’m too old and I’ve already missed my opportunity to succeed.

Try:

1. How can I use my strengths to succeed in my job?

2. How do I get this person to respond to me?

3. How do I get to the right city, or what strengths does my city have

that I can use to my advantage?

4. Who are the right people to know and how do I get to know them?

5. What is the skillset this employer requires, and how do I learn this

new skillset?

6. Now is the best time to succeed. Better late than never.

Step 2: Understand other people’s motivations and failures

Use this new positive attitude and learn from others.

The goal for this step is to get a deeper understanding of others’

motivations and failures.

Here are 4 questions I want you to preferably ask your boss or someone

higher than you in the organization at lunch or after work:

Why do you work? Seriously, what motivates you to work?

Are you happy working here?

What are your longer-term goals?

What is the best mistake you’ve ever made?

Yes, these are the questions I want you to ask. Are they uncomfortable

questions to ask? Yes, but you will be surprised how many people will

open up to you and you will build a better relationship because of it.

Their answers will shock you and will give you an insight into their brain

The third question regarding goals can be an entire conversation in itself,

so be prepared.

The fourth question dives into failures and good outcomes that only

happened because of a mistake that the person made. You will be amazed

at the responses that you get.

Understanding others’ motivations has helped me benchmark myself

against other successful people.

Step 3: Build a support structure around you

In previous chapters I’ve discussed why coffee meetings and creating an

email newsletter are helpful to building great relationships.

Out of this new community you have carved out for yourself, there are

usually 2-3 people that stick out as close friends that you can use for

support.

I can’t stress how important this is that you have at least 2 people you can

email, call or meet if you are having a tough time.

When’s the last time you talked to anyone in this group? Send them a note

and catch up or just say hello. You will need them and they will most

likely need you. Don’t lose track of these relationships.

Step 4: Expect and embrace failure

Failure is a good thing.

Failure is a great thing.

Failure is expected.

Did I tell you that failure is a good thing? If I didn’t, I just want to let you

know that failure is a good thing.

Embrace failure. Smile when it happens.

Learn and move on.

Case Study – How a Broke Trip to Aldi Changed My Life

I was shopping at Aldi as a college student, and I only had a few dollars to

my name. I had to take a few things out of my box because I didn’t have

enough to buy everything I wanted. I was in between paychecks. I literally

had less than $10 to my name when I was buying groceries.

I was broke.

I still remember exactly how I felt on the way back to my apartment. I was

quiet and deep in my own thoughts. It was the first time I thought to

myself that I would never let this happen again. I would never let myself

get to the point where I had to make life decisions in line at a discount

grocery store.

It was a sickening feeling I could feel deep in my stomach.

Yes, I could have asked my parents for more money, but I couldn’t bring

myself to do it. I had convinced myself that I was going to be completely

independent and I would do it all by myself. I had no choice.

I never wanted to feel that way ever again. I wasn’t going to let myself

down and I wasn’t going to let my parents down. I needed to help them,

not the other way around.

So what was the solution to make sure I was never this broke ever again?

The answer was clear: Work my ass off 24/7. I needed to work more,

because working more = more money. More money = rent payments, food

and tuition payments. I needed more money to be independent. I couldn’t

rely on anyone but myself.

I only thought 1-2 months ahead. I didn’t think about where I’d be 2-4

years from then. I wasn’t smart enough to do that. I was in survival mode,

not “where do I see myself in 5 years” mode.

I started applying everywhere on campus.

Within 3 months, I had 3 different jobs and was working 30-35 hours a

week in addition to attending school full-time. I woke up at 8 a.m. and

usually got home at 11 p.m. These were all standard office and student IT

jobs. Answer phones, fix printers, do your homework when you have

nothing else to do. My third job was working at a small ethnic grocery

store.

My plan worked. My next step was to find a great career in the IT

industry.

When I graduated, I found myself in the same predicament as before. I

was an average student with no connections to the corporate world. I

knew no one who could open doors for me. I had to find a way to do it

myself.

I didn’t really have any strategies to landing an awesome career. Scratch

that, I had one strategy:

Work my ass off.

Cast a wide net, and something has to hit. That was my strategy.

I went to every job fair, even if the job fair was just for women or for

African Americans. I got weird looks, but I didn’t care. The recruiters still

talked to me. All I wanted was face time.

I sent follow-up emails and applied for every internship and job that I

could.

It was the only way I knew how.

It worked. It had to work. There was no way it couldn’t work.

The payoff

I joined a group at Purdue called Minority Peer Counselors (MPC.) By

senior year, I was the director of the organization. We called high school

seniors to let them know they had been accepted into Purdue University

and would answer any questions they had. About 90% of the time, it was

just the high school student screaming in excitement on the other end of

the phone because we called them before they received their official

acceptance letters.

There I met a wonderful woman named Antonia (Toni) Munguia who was an Associate Director of Admissions and was responsible for this group. : She was one of the very first people who I met who actually cared about me and wanted me to succeed.

Senior year I was heads down applying and interviewing. I had 2

internships under my belt, including one with Dell, which was one of the

hottest companies at the time.

A big job fair was coming up. Toni asked me if I wanted to help a recruiter

at Accenture set up an informational session the day before the job fair.

My response was: Accenture? Never heard of the company, but sure. I

think they do consulting, and I’m not really sure what a consultant does.

But I will definitely be there. I called off work and arrived the next day to

help the recruiter.

This connection gave me the opportunity to meet the recruiter before the

job fair. I still went to the job fair and asked to speak specifically to her. I

said hello again and she made sure to get me an interview.

I was ecstatic. I became obsessed with a company I didn’t know existed 2

days prior.

I pulled out all the big guns. I brought in 5 letters of recommendation

specifically tailored for Accenture to my first interview. Yes, that’s right. 5.

Every job I ever worked at, plus the entire Purdue admissions office

signed a recommendation letter. It’s safe to say that I wasn’t messing

around.

I had no choice.

I had to make this happen.

I didn’t just want this job. I needed this job.

It turned out Accenture was looking for technology graduates who didn’t

mind working until 7 p.m. every workday. I was a perfect fit. I got an offer.

I had 19 first round interviews with other companies and ended with 4 job

offers (That’s 15 rejections if you’re counting.) Accenture was the clear

winner. I started work 2 weeks after I graduated. I would have started the

day after I graduated if they had let me.

I didn’t need a break. I didn’t even know how to take a break. It went

against everything I stood for. My motivation was purely driven on

advancing my career in the best and fastest way possible.

This went on for about 8 years. For 8 years, I worked every single day I

could. Nights, weekends, you name it. I was working whether it was for

another company or when I quit my job to start my own company. I was

working even when all my work was done. It didn’t matter. I found work. I

was always heads down. I was one of the most reliable and loyal people

you could ever meet.

I didn’t realize that the same strategy that helped me get ahead was now

hurting me. I was too deep in it to understand what I was doing wrong.

It wasn’t until recently I figured out that I’ve done enough surviving.

Maybe now I should focus on living and start thinking 5 years ahead

instead of the 1-2 months I am accustomed too.

Being broke at Aldi was the best thing to ever happen to me. It gave me a

fire under my ass I didn’t know existed.

Every time I pass an Aldi, I always remember getting the quarter back

from the shopping cart and the feelings it generated every time I did it. It

always humbles me and also generates motivation to succeed even

further.

It was also my first realization that I couldn’t do this on my own. I needed

as much help as I could get.

Month 6: Make a Decision

Whatever Decision You Make, It Will Be Wrong

I was scared to quit my first job. I didn’t want to tell my boss I was

leaving. I knew she would be mad at me. I was leaving for a competitor

who was also going to pay me more. I was a traitor. How dare I leave a

company for better money? She kept telling me I was making the wrong

decision by leaving and that I shouldn’t be making a decision based on

how much the new employer is going to pay me. She was right — I

shouldn’t base my decision to accept a new job based only on salary. That

obviously wasn’t the only reason I was leaving, but she was convinced.

Did I make a wrong decision by leaving? No, I can safely say I made the

right decision. However, if I asked my old boss today if I made the right

decision, she would still tell me no. It doesn’t even matter if I had quit and

created Facebook and became a billionaire. In her eyes, I made the wrong

decision. It took me awhile to realize that every decision I make will

always be wrong for at least one person. There will always be someone

who is negatively affected by your decision, even the small ones.

When I quit my job to start my own company, everyone thought it was a

bad decision. Not one person thought my decision was a good one. I had a

great, steady job with marketable technical skills, and here I was quitting

my job and going completely on my own.

I can safely say I made a great decision. I’ve reached many of my goals,

and I’ve managed to completely rebuild my business network, which had

previously been worthless. I made a great decision. Best decision I’ve

made in awhile.

If you ask my previous employer, they still think it was a wrong one. If you

ask my family, they’ll tell you they aren’t convinced my decision was right.

You can make any life decision by asking yourself 2 questions:

What do you want the outcome of your situation to be?

What do you secretly want the outcome of your situation to be?

Choose what you secretly want and never look back.

How do I know the decision is the right one?

You won’t know until you’ve made the decision and lived the results of it.

You can “listen to your heart” to figure out if it’s the right decision, but I

don’t even know what that really means so I suggest you ignore that

advice.

What if it turns out to be a bad decision?

Even better! The next time someone asks you “What’s the best mistake

you’ve ever made?” you have a story to tell.

There is nothing more interesting than someone talk about a bad decision

they made.

Bad decisions are underrated. Not making a decision is just filled with

anxiety and regret. Don’t fall into indecisiveness.

What if other people disagree with my decision?

If you take a job in another state, you will disappoint your hometown

friends and family and please the person that hired you.

If you quit your job, you will disappoint your boss who has to replace you

and make the startup community happier because they have a new person

in their community.

If you stay at your job, you will disappoint yourself.

If everyone agrees with your decision, something is wrong.

What happens if it was a REALLY bad decision?

Let’s just say you made a colossal mistake and followed through on a bad

decision. What you secretly wanted was to not make a dumb decision,

Robbie!

Ok, I’ll admit it. Sometimes you can make a boneheaded decision and it’s

so embarrassing that you can’t tell this story at a cocktail party.

Here are the steps to recover from a bad decision:

Step 1. Do NOT regret the decision you made

It was a mistake, but you learned from it and that’s the point. You will

never make that decision again and won’t haunt you anymore.

Step 2. Tell others that you were wrong and apologize for

making a bad decision

Do this immediately. Do not let it linger. Get it out in the open. Create

closure as soon as you can.

Step 3. Make another decision — Just don’t mess this one up

This time don’t go with what you secretly want. Go with the safest sure-

bet decision that will get you back on your feet while you figure everything

else out. You’ve made enough bad decisions for the day.

Don’t make a risky decision with another risky decision unless you can

handle that type of risk.

This is why I always advocate for never burning any bridges with

employers and family.

You never know when you will need someone.

Lie Like Hell On Your Exit Interview

If you do decide to quit your job for another job or to do your own thing,

you’ll most likely be asked to do an exit interview.

You know all those nasty things you always wanted to say to people while

you worked there? Well this is your chance to really let it all out. And you

get to do it through a confidential processor, AKA Human Resources.

Yeah right. Exit interviews are worthless. Yes, I said it. They are

absolutely worthless. Exit interviews are your one last chance to burn

every bridge within the company.

HR will make it seem like everything you say is confidential, and no one

else will ever know what you said. It’s partly true. They don’t tell other

people *exactly* what you said, but trust me, everyone will find out.

Everyone thinks an exit interview is their last chance to let management

know things need to change. Everyone thinks they will be the change

catalyst on the *way out* of the company. You’re going to be the hero! The

hero who changed the company for every other employee who still works

for this horribly managed corporate company.

Here are my tips for an awesome exit:

If you have nothing nice to say, then lie! 24]

24 http://www.forbes.com/sites/jacquelynsmith/2012/07/31/you-quit-your-job-now-they-demand-an-exit-interview-what-do-you-say/

Everything you say can and will be used against you in the court of

burning bridges. Nothing you say is confidential. I don’t care what HR

tells you. If you call your soon-to-be ex boss an asshole, they will tell your

boss’s boss, who will then tell your boss what you said. They’ll all have a

good laugh, then come to the conclusion that you’re the real asshole. And

we’re all back at square one.

Be Positive Pam and stick to positive things. Negativity is not going to

help the company now or later. Don’t burn bridges.

Assume HR knows how bad or great the environment is. They generally

know already and are probably planning an exit just like you (they also

might be reading this book.)

You’re not a hero for leaving. You will think you’re better because you’re

onto the next place, but the next place has its own issues! So don’t act

cocky in the exit interview.

In case you missed my warning a few paragraphs ago, here it is again:

Don’t.burn.any.bridges.period. You never know whom you’ll run into in a

few months or years from now and when you’ll need their help again.

Everything You Need to Know About…

JOB REFERRALS

I know this news isn't going to come easy to most of you. Employers

prefer candidates who get referred from within the company as opposed

to applying online.

In other words: No Shit Sherlock.

But, I'm still not convinced you still totally understand how big referrals

are.

"Even getting in the door for an interview is becoming more

difficult for those without connections. Referred candidates are

twice as likely to land an interview as other applicants,

according to a new study of one large company by three

economists from the Federal Reserve Bank of New York. For

those who make it to the interview stage, the referred candidates

had a 40 percent better chance of being hired than other

applicants."25

40% better chance!

25 http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/28/business/employers-

increasingly-rely-on-internal-referrals-in-hiring.html?

Human resource departments have recognized the same pattern.

“Our analysis shows referred hires perform better, stay longer

and are quicker to integrate into our teams,” said Mr. Nash of

Ernst & Young.

As a result, within the last two years, firms like Deloitte, Ernst &

Young, and Booz Allen have created dedicated teams within their

human resource departments to shepherd prospects through the

system. Over all, Deloitte receives more than 400,000 résumés a

year, but recommended employees are guided along by a 12-

person team.

Long story short, getting referrals should be your first choice, not your

last one.

But, let’s say that you don’t have any referrals. You have legitimate

reasons to have this problem:

1. You just moved to a new city

2. You are new to a specific job industry so you haven’t been exposed

to industry contacts

3. You feel uncomfortable talking to random people

Not legitimate reasons to have this problem

1. You’ve been too busy working to go to networking events

2. You think networking is for losers

The power of a referral

This graph should tell you everything you need to know about an

employee referral.

26

6.9% of applications come from employee referrals, yet it leads to 39.9%

of all hires.

26 http://recruiting.jobvite.com/resources/recruiting-data-employment-statistics-by-jobvite-index/

So, the question to you is: Why you are spending so much time applying

on job boards and career sites when it’s clear you should be spending your

time on garnering employee referrals?

Read the chapter titled “Your Professional Network Sucks” again if you

need help on how to build referrals.

RECRUITERS

Let's be clear on what a recruiter is: A recruiter is a salesperson whose

only way to make a living is to SELL jobs. If you get a job through a

recruiter and your salary is $50k, often the recruiting company will

receive $10k payment from the company that they sold the job too.

They are no different than a car salesman.

Do a Google search and see what Google auto-completes for you.

Am I saying recruiters are all useless and you should avoid them like the

black plague?

Are there good car salesmen? Of course there are a lot of great car

salesmen — just as there are great recruiters. The issue is the system is set

up in favor of the car salesman. The main issue is you don't know whom

to trust.

Am I saying a recruiter can't help you find a job?

I'm not saying that at all. What I'm saying is they will find you something

when it suits THEM. The system is set up so that they sell their jobs, not

to help you with your career. If you are a match and they think the

employer will help you, then they will help you.

Dirty tricks that recruiters use

1) Post jobs that don't actually have openings

This is probably the worst tactic a recruiter can use but it is used widely in

the recruitment world. They post these jobs so unsuspecting applicants

apply and the recruiter can use their information to market to them later.

2) Keep a job opening up after it has already been filled

Similar to #1, but if a job opening brought them a lot of resumes, the

recruiter will keep the posting up so they can continue to collect resumes

even if the position is filled.

3) Post jobs for their clients whom they don't have exclusive

rights to

What this means is that companies will often use multiple recruiters to fill

an opening. It's to the hiring company's advantage to use multiple sources

to find the best candidate. So what this means is that you will have

multiple recruiters competing to find one position for the client! So the

recruiter has to convince the hiring manager their candidate is better than

anyone else's!

What this also means is often the hiring manager won't respond to the

recruiter's emails! So, you have to convince a recruiter you’re a good fit for

the job, and the recruiter has to do the same thing again to the hiring

manager! It's all messed up.

4) Post jobs that they have no clue about

This is like a car salesman in Florida selling you snow skis when he's

never left the state of Florida and hasn't skied a day in his life.

Again, they are salespeople. There are some really good salespeople, but

most of them don't care about you or really have any incentive to help

you.

5) Bring in “extra” candidates when the ideal candidate has

already been filled

A recruiter will do this to fill a line-up even when the perfect candidate

has already been located.

How can you verify that the job actually exists before applying

to it?

There isn't an official way to do it, but here are some things I would do:

1) If it never says the company name, it's either fake or a recruiter who

wants to collect "Project Managers in Northwest suburbs."

Why won't the recruiter post the name of the company in their posting?

They do this to limit the amount of information you have to get a referral

in the company. Remember, they make money if you get a job through

them. If you knew the name of the company, you can go straight to

LinkedIn and find a connection to find a referral (which they all know is

the best way to find a job.)

They will tell you it is because of confidentiality reasons between them

and the client, which may be true, but it’s just too convenient of an excuse.

2) If the job description is very generic.

3) I would copy a few sentences from the job description and then Google

it. If I see the same position on multiple sites, that generally means

multiple recruiters are looking to fill one job. This isn't an ideal situation

as I mentioned before, but at least you know the opening is legit.

4) I would try my hardest to find out who the client is through my Google

snafu. Once I find out who the employer is, I would look on LinkedIn for

that company and see if the posting exists on their page or if I know

someone in the company who can refer me in.

5) If the description starts off with “my client is looking for,” that means

you’re dealing with a recruiter.

What websites have real jobs?

Any website where the company has to pay for every single job posting,

the chances that the position is real goes up significantly. For websites like

Monster, Career Builder and hell even LinkedIn the recruiter can pay a

membership fee to post a certain amount of postings monthly. So as long

as they stay under their quota, they can post any job they want and they

are losing out on opportunities to collect resumes and email addresses if

they don't post generic job postings.

What’s the best approach to finding a job online?

My approach is to use these websites as a STARTING point. Not as an

ending point. I use these job sites to collect information, but never to

actually find a job.

PAY TO PLAY

If anyone asks you to pay them to connect you to people, you should drop

your relationship with that person right away — even if you think they can

help you.

Connectors connect people to benefit them in other ways. If they benefit

through accepting payments for connecting, the connection loses all value

because both parties know that you paid to get connected.

Avoid it all costs.

LOOKING FOR JOBS ONLINE

At the highest level, this is my process when I’m searching for project

manager jobs in Chicago:

Before I start, I just want to say I have anxiety just going through this

process even though I’m not looking for a job. It’s a bad, bad horrible

disjointed process. I wish there was an easier way to do this online.

Let’s just say for some ungodly reason you wanted to become a project

manager. If I were you, this is what I would do:

1. Go on indeed.com and search for Project Management jobs in

Chicago

Indeed is just a job aggregator from multiple sources. It’s a great starting

source to find information, and that’s it.

This was the result:

Anxiety slowly building to being unmanageable.

Let’s take a closer look at the results:

The first 2 results are sponsored ads, which for some reason I can’t put a

finger on signifies to me that I shouldn’t click. I don’t know what it is, but

I generally just glance right over it. I do the same thing with Google

Search ads too.

If you have to pay in addition to your normal posting fee to get people to

apply, something is wrong in my opinion.

The second warning sign for me was the “30+ days ago,” which means the

posting has been up for a while. The rest seems OK, but it still seems very

generic.

Let me try this again by filtering by focusing my search on “IT Project

Manager” as opposed to “Project Manager” so I don’t have to be good at

sanity design details to find a job. I can already tell that it’s going to be a

bad job.

Sorry.

I also only want contract jobs and I don’t want to deal with recruiters so

I’ll click on those filters and try again.

Let’s say that Aon seems like a good place to work.

Now, here is where many people go wrong when they search for a job.

They click on the job description, see a wall of unformatted text and either

they:

1. Convince themselves that they aren’t qualified for the job so they

don’t click the apply button. In reality, they just don’t want to click

the apply button because they know what’s next

2. Click on the apply button and take the next 45 minutes applying to

the job on their website, re-filling out the same fields they filled

out a million times and doing a “custom cover letter.”

Actually applying is obviously much better than not applying at all, but

still very flawed.

Here is my step-by-step approach.

1. Go to LinkedIn

2. Click on Advanced Search

3. Type “Project Manager” in the keywords section and “AON” in the

company section.

I also chose to filter by “current company” is “AON” or “AON Hewitt.”

The top 6 results are 6 people who currently work at AON and are

currently project managers or have been project managers.

Remember, AON is a big company so there are multiple of these

positions.

OK, so what’s next.

Of the 6 top results, I actually know someone who works at AON! It is a

previous co-worker of mine who I had no idea actually works at AON. I’m

going to message her through LinkedIn. Since we’re already connected,

LinkedIn gives me the ability to directly message her, even without a

premium account.

What do I say to her?

Since I know her, I would email this:

We’ll call her Patricia.

Hi Patricia!

How are you doing? I was looking into AON and was wondering if you

could answer a few questions for me since you currently work at AON.

Do you have time for a phone call on Monday or Tuesday next week? It

would be great to catch up.

- Robbie

Why did I purposely did not tell her I was applying for a specific

position and needed a referral?

Oftentimes, there is more to the story than the job posting will tell you.

Maybe there are more job positions available that I’m not aware of — but

her inside knowledge could help me learn that. .

Also, it helps to “re-connect” with her so it doesn’t seem like you’re trying

to abuse her only for a job.

Why contact her if she’s not the hiring manager?

At this point, you have no idea who the hiring manager is. Patricia could

have valuable insight and could possibly refer me to the hiring manager or

to another manager who is hiring a similar position.

What do I say when I call her?

I’ll never understand why people have a hard time talking to people that

they have had a relationship with in the past.

You tell her the truth!

You can say:

Patricia,

I’ll be honest with you. I’m in a job right now that I hate, and I have been

looking to get involved in Project Management for a while and I found a

posting for a Project Manager on AON’s website. I looked on LinkedIn

and I then I found out you actually work at AON and at one time did

project management!

I was wondering if you could tell me more about project management at

AON and what your recommendation would be for me to get an

interview with the hiring manager. At this point, I don’t know who that

is and that’s why I got in touch with you!

What if I only have a 2nd degree connection?

Chances are, you have very few connections that work at AON, but you

know a lot of people who know people who do (according to LinkedIn, of

course).

In those cases, my #1 goal is to get a referral within the company and do

everything in my power to not click the “apply now” button.

How I ask for an intro:

Hi John,

I see on LinkedIn you are connected to John Smith who is a project

manager at AON consulting. I’ve been doing my research about working

as a Project Manager at AON and I’m looking for someone inside the

company to talk to. Would you be able to connect John and I over email?

Here is a link to his LinkedIn profile <link>.

Thank You!

- Robbie

I would send this same exact email for every connection on that search

results page I was trying to get in contact with.

What if I am applying at a startup?

If you’re looking to join a startup company, then the search concept is still

the same except many startups don’t post their job postings that are found

on indeed.com.

Lucky you, the tools available for startup jobs are MUCH better than

The one tool that should be center to your search is Angel List

(http://angel.co).

Just looking at the home page makes me want to adopt a kitten.

Click on “Jobs” and search away.

Again, use the same methodology you would with finding a corporate job.

You can apply on the website, but your best bet is still a referral in to the

company. Just because the job isn’t posted online, doesn’t mean the job

doesn’t exist.

1. Find company you want to work for

2. Find open position (not always needed, but a good signal they are

hiring)

3. Find someone you know in the company

4. Find the hiring manager

Action Plan

How hard you work doesn’t matter anymore.

Your annual performance reviews are useless and ineffective.

All signs are pointing to a job market where employers prefer interim

workers to full-time resources.

Over deliver and all your co-workers and bosses will love you for it. They

will congratulate you, recognize you and reward you. It will make you feel

special. It will make you more motivated to work harder and do better

work.

You will feel wanted. You will feel like you finally work somewhere where

people respect you for your work.

You made their lives easier. They were able to excel because of your hard

work. You made them look good.

You made their lives easier. They were able to excel because of

your hard work. You made them look good.

You made their lives easier. They were able to excel because of your hard

work. You made them look good.

Did the hard work make your life easier?

Were you able to advance your career because of your hard work?

Did you look good?

Who was that reward for? Seriously. Why did they give you an award?

Did you receive an award so you can feel better about yourself? Or did you

get an award so you can be motivated to keep excelling at the pace you are

excelling.

What are the benefits of making sure you keep working harder?

Are the benefits for you or for them?

The last time you were recognized for doing something exceptional, did

your boss ever tell you he thinks you can take this skill and apply it to

other companies? Did he ever tell you that the value for your skillset is

bigger than you think it is? Did he give you a list of companies that will

pay you more for the type of work that you are doing?

Of course not. He wants to keep you employed because he likes your work.

I would do the same, and I’m sure you would, too.

Your boss will help you deliver value to the company you work for, when

you need worry about delivering value to a broader industry.

Your boss is not the owner of your career. You are.

The good ol' days of hard-working and career advancement are gone.

Any expectation that your boss is looking out for your best interest is

probably misaligned even if your boss is the nicest boss you’ve ever had.

You need to understand one thing: If you don’t own your career,

someone else will.

This last month’s action plan doesn’t have specific steps for a reason.

There’s nothing else that I can do for you at this point besides stepping

out of the way and support your decisions to own your career.

Do it for you, not me.

Case Study: Paypal Mafia

I’m going to end this book with a little inspiration of how a powerful

network can help self-starters.

This Guy (Max Levchin from University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign)

pitched an idea for a mobile device money transfer service to this guy

(Peter Thiel).

27

Peter said cool, let’s do this. Then they buy X.com, which was founded by

some dude named Elon Musk.

28

They decide to name the company:

27 http://i.huffpost.com/gen/738720/thumbs/r-PETER-THIEL-FACEBOOK-INVESTOR-SHARES-large570.jpg 28 http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2013/jul/17/elon-musk-mission-mars-spacex

The company goes public in 2002 and this company buys them:

Then this is where it get’s interesting. The Paypal employees hated the

eBay corporate structure. Within 4 years, half of the first 200 employees

quit.

This guy gets fired at Paypal:

Yes, Fired. He made a ton of money anyway and started 2 companies:

The first one is ya know, just some sort of car that only runs on electric

Just whatever. Then he decides that he needs to do more. So he creates

another company that makes spaceships:

Just spaceships, no big deal. NASA SHMASA. They also break some

records about being the only company to return a spaceship from low

earth orbit. Boring shit, really. Then they attached the thing to the

International Space Station. Nothing you can’t see on Youtube. Anyway,

this guy

decides he ain’t done yet either. Invests an early $500,000 in this

company:

for 10.2% of the company. He got ripped off if you ask me, but whatever.

What’s a billion when you got millions?

These guys (2 Paypal engineers and designer):

said “we’re bored with our lives, let’s create something new.” They quit

and create this company:

Which then gets bought out by this company:

Russel Simmons (left),

29

who was one of the first Paypal engineers has a conversation with a dinner

that Max held.

29 http://tech.fortune.cnn.com/2010/04/09/yelp-grows-a-pair/

What do they talk about? Out of all the things in the world to talk about,

they talk about how hard it is to find a dentist. What else are they going to

talk about? So Russell creates this company with another person with

some funding from Max:

It’s just a site full of pissed off people ranting about food. The executive

vice president of Paypal, Reid Hoffman:

says screw this, I’m going to do something new. Starts this company:

The former, COO David O. Sacks decides to join in on the party. So he

creates:

Yishan Wong, engineering manager at Paypal. He’s just another dude

that can code. Nothing special.

He now becomes the CEO of a website that I’m totally not addicted to:

Product Manager Premal Shah becomes founding president of:

and finally Former Marketing Director Dave Mcclure:

starts:

In the meantime, BRB starting company.

But, OH WAIT!

It’s BONUS SECTION TIME.

The most normal looking guy ever (Brian Acton, Left),

gets rejected from Facebook:

and then gets rejected from Twitter:

So he says, screw it. I’ll create my own company. He creates:

This company tries to buy WhatsApp:

Brian says no, thank you. Apparently you can’t survive on $10 billion

anymore.

Then the company that originally rejected him 5 years prior:

says screw you to Google and buys WhatsApp for Nineteen Billion Dollars

You can be a consumer or you can be a creator. Pick wisely my friend.

Don’t Do It

This is the point in the book where I’m supposed to talk you off the ledge

and tell you to make the best of your situation.

Tell you that everything is going to be OK, and you really don’t have it

bad.

I’m supposed to tell you that you shouldn’t just leave your job when you

spent so much time building up credibility.

You are going to fail.

You will never be on the front page of a newspaper or cover of a magazine.

You are not special.

Your ideas really aren’t that original.

You don’t have the resources to execute your idea.

Not only will it fail, others will tell you “I told you so.” Do you really want

to be embarrassed like that?

Play it safe.

Save your money.

Plan your finances and have a safe career.

That way you’ll have enough money to buy yourself a nice casket and a

nice grave with your words of wisdom:

“My dreams are stored on a piece of paper in the bottom drawer

in my bedroom. When you get a chance, can you give one of them

a try? I never had the guts.”

Bonus: 44 Ways To Be The Worst Employee Ever (NSFW)

1) Your boss is psychic, so you don’t need to tell her you're

working from home the rest of the week

Your boss knows you spent all last weekend getting hammered at the big

music festival and are in no shape to show up to work. Don't fill up your

boss's inbox with another useless email. She really doesn't care if you

don't show up to the office all week as long as you pretend like you’re

getting work done.

She will really appreciate if you can communicate as little as possible so

she can focus on her activities and not worry about taking care of you. It's

the little things like this that get you ready for promotions.

2) That project deadline was totally made up

Remember in Shawshank Redemption when the correction officer asked

Red if he feels like "he has been rehabilitated?" Red then goes off on a

tangent. You should feel the same way about missing a deadline:

Deadline? Well now let me see... You know, I don't have any idea

what that means.

I know what you think it means, Sonny. To me, it's a made-up

word, a project manager's word. So fellas like you can wear a

suit, a tie and have a job. What do you really want to know? Am I

sorry for missing the deadline? There's not a day that goes by

where I don't feel regret for missing the deadline.

I look back at when I agreed to meet that deadline. I was just a

stupid kid who couldn't estimate how long it took me to do

something. I want to talk to him; I want to talk sense into him.

Tell him the way things are, but I can't. That kid's long gone, this

old man is all that's left. I have to live with that.

Deadline... It's just a bullshit word so you go ahead and mark

that status report as red and stop wasting my time. Because to

tell you the truth… I don't give a damn.

3) Cry as much as you can during team meetings to build

respect

You know what this team meeting needs right now? It needs someone to

literally cry about the direction the project is going and how it "doesn't

feel like it's going in the right direction." Crying allows other team

members to see your real feelings and allows them to work with you better

as the project progresses.

Crying over meaningless things is very important and crying should be

encouraged in any type of situation in which a decision needs to made. It

really builds confidence and respect from your other team members and

is a beneficial tactic to use throughout your career.

4) Get drunk at office before the company party officially starts

The last thing you need to be known for is the guy who drank like a fish at

the company party. Buy a six-pack before you go and drink it in the

kitchen or break room. By the time you get to the company party you will

already be toasted and won't order as much as you normally do.

Make sure to offer your boss a drink, too. Sharing is caring.

5) Arrive un-fashionably late

You like to get to the office at 9:45 a.m. since you’re so much more

efficient than your co-workers. They usually require 45 minutes to an

hour to get situated in the morning with their morning routine. The

coffee, the small talk and replying back to emails they never got to address

since they only worked until 11:30 p.m. last night. You walk in with your

Starbucks coffee and your laptop is on since it never leaves your cubicle.

You would be amazed by the lovely death stares you get from everyone as

you walk in.

Also make sure to leave around 3:45 p.m. so you can give the other

commuters who leave at normal times some breathing room. Make sure

no one in the office knows you left early since you don't want to bother

anyone while they’re “in the zone." It's a respectful trick you learned early

in your career. This is why you made sure your cubicle was near the back

exit.

On the days where you couldn't avoid your co-workers when you left the

office early, make sure to let them know to "have a good one" because they

all know you have nothing else more meaningful to say.

6) Make big mistakes often. Your boss totally won’t judge you.

Remember when you accidentally sent the entire company's employee

salaries to the Los Angeles office in an easy-to-read Excel spreadsheet on

mistake? Nobody cares; get over it.

Even though Los Angeles found out they are by far the lowest paid office

in the entire nation, they realize it was a mistake and will not use this

information to complain to the corporate headquarters about their low

wages.

It's not your fault Outlook auto completed "Larry" to "Los Angeles Sales

Office." Everyone forgot about this super minor mistake you made. Get

over it. The smallest thing that will happen is a small riot or a union

strike. No big deal.

In fact, your boss will love you more in the long run and never bring up

this situation ever again.

7) Pour yourself the last cup of coffee without refilling it

The best part about showing up a little bit later than everyone else is you

usually get to drink the last cup of coffee and save the company from

throwing away coffee they weren't going to drink in the first place.

Pro tip: The accounting team loves cleaning coffee mugs so make sure

you keep all your dirty mugs in the kitchen sink. Save yourself time and

make them happy. Also, ignore the signs that tell you that your mother

isn't here to clean up after you or "If you're leaning you're cleaning." The

janitors will put these up to compete with the accounting team.

8) It's not who you know, it's what you know

People in power are overrated. This is why there are performance reviews

and metrics in place so employees are promoted purely on merit. I

actually went out of my way to not talk to senior executives in the

company so I could spend more time excelling at my job.

9) Gossip to the new co-worker you just met this morning. He is

extremely trustworthy.

As long as you preface your gossip with, "Don't tell anyone this, but..."

your gossip will remain a tightly kept secret. These types of statements or

code words are extremely important. Make sure to tell your co-workers

that you hate your job, or that you think you heard your boss on a phone

interview for a new job. It builds trust within your close network. Stay

close and you will reap all the rewards.

10) Your colleague is much better at filling out the TPS reports

than you are

Do what you're good at. You shouldn't waste your time filling out boring

and useless TPS reports, especially when there are others who are much

better at it than you are.

Make sure not to tell your colleague that you didn't fill it out, just put it on

their desk so they can be surprised when they get back to their desk.

11) Tell HR everything so they can fix the situation ASAP

When you need action right away, go talk to HR. Not getting paid enough?

Go to HR and let them know. 99.99% of the time, they won't circle back

with the manager that hates you or compare your wages against a piece of

shit, race-to-the-bottom employee. They'll just give you the raise since

they know you wouldn't be doing this if you didn't mean business.

Think someone made inappropriate comments to you? Let HR know that

you really don't appreciate being called a "low life, scrotum sucking, sucks

the dirt off your toes, toilet bowl licking cat litter munching jerk-off who

dances with the Teletubbie rubbing sheep and a cross dressing whore."

They will make sure the person knows what they did was wrong, and then

proceed to promote them for absolute shit work for the next 3 years.

12) Your boss is too good of a person to screw you over

The great thing about bosses is that they only care about the little people

who report to them. They aren't interested in advancing their career in the

slightest. They only do what's best for you. Because of this, it’s important

that you listen to everything that they say and respect every command

even if it is unreasonable.

When it comes down to promotion, your boss will take care of you. Put all

your faith in this one person to make sure you can get a good night’s sleep.

13) Reply all is the most valuable email function

Once in awhile click the reply all button when you receive an email from

the administrative assistant about the refrigerator moving 12 inches to the

left. Let the admin assistant and the entire company know how grateful

you are to receive this information in a timely manner.

It's a great feeling to see a "Thanks John!" in an email that has nothing to

do with any of your work-related functions. Next time you see John in the

bathroom on the third floor that you only use for taking a shit, you can

take a shit in peace knowing that John has been thanked. If the

handicapped stall is open, that's a double bonus.

We all need more emails, and when everyone receives yet another email,

it really generates a feeling of understanding across the organization. It

keeps everyone aligned.

Reply all is your friend.

14) Send a vague calendar invite titled "catch up" at 8 a.m. to

your subordinates

It's great to catch up with your employees once in a while. I recommend

waiting until midnight on a Sunday to send a calendar invite to a low-

performing employee and give it the vaguest title with no description of

what the meeting is really about. I recommend titles such as "Can we

talk?" "Please come to my office first thing in the morning" or "Company

performance." It's better if you send it while the company's stock is at a

52-week low as well.

Employees appreciate thes=e emails right before they go to sleep. If you

described what you wanted to talk about, it would really ruin the surprise

and employees love surprises on Monday mornings.

15) Let's be real, you really didn't deserve that promotion

Don't you remember that day when they asked you to bring your knee

pads and red lipstick to work with you while they did employee reviews?

You forgot to bring both of them last time, and therefore you don't

deserve the promotion. It's that simple.

Someone like George brings both of them even when it

isn't employee review week. George deserves it, and you should

congratulate him the next time you see him. Ask him where he gets that

shade of pink lipstick, too. He wears it really well.

16) Don't negotiate your salary because the company really

needs the money

The company has already banned "smoothie Friday" because of budget

cuts, and you want to ask for more money AND a promotion? The billion-

dollar company with extravagant executive bonuses really can't afford

your $5,000 annual pay raise. Be considerate and treat the company as

family. It's the least you can do.

That extra money they don't give you even when you clearly deserve it can

go to something better such as the CEO's health club dues. Be considerate

of the other 100,000 people who work in your company.

17) Your boss is totally not doing his job properly and everyone

needs to know

Make everyone respect you more and allow the company to get on the

right track by telling everyone how horrible of a manager Bob is. Make

sure you let Bob's closest colleagues know and even Bob's father who runs

the company. Transparency is always recommended. Be ruthless with the

comments.

18) Make the most out of your short 120-minute lunch break

120 minutes is not a lot of time to eat lunch, but you have to make the

most of it. Make sure to use the first 60 minutes eating lunch and the next

60 minutes napping after you slammed your face with the shitty cafeteria

food.

If you see anyone take a 60-minute lunch break, make sure to stop by

their desk and let them know how stupid they are for not utilizing the

company’s hidden 120-minute lunch break rule.

19) 15 minute smoke breaks are really necessary every 30

minutes

If you're not lucky enough to get lung cancer so you can finally get paid

disability, you should work towards getting lung cancer as soon as

possible. Psychologists have proven that people work best in focused

sprints. So do your 15-minute sprint, 15 minutes of relaxation and then 15

minutes of smoking to keep the positive cycle moving towards stage-4

lung cancer.

If you see someone abusing this rule, most likely the non-smokers, buy

him or her a pack of cigarettes and let them know you don't agree with the

destructive life that they are leading.

20) Use your company email for those amazing never-ending

racist, sexist email threads with your high school friends

Are you afraid of sending inappropriate emails on company email? Well,

you shouldn't because your boss or IT Director would never scan the

email system for keywords or read your emails to make sure you are not

doing anything inappropriate.

All email is encrypted and the employees who control every part of the IT

infrastructure would never check your email without your permission. In

fact, I would recommend telling your friends to remove your Gmail

address from that mega camping trip thread and include your

professional work email instead.

21) Your boss can't see any of your tweets. Just do you, B.

Even though you set your tweets to public, Twitter will detect when your

boss is on Twitter and will block those tweets from their eyes. So go ahead

and complain about how much you hate your job and how your boss is a

twat. Your boss has no way of seeing your public tweet.

22) Tell your boss off one last time

Bosses love challenges. This is why right before you quit, you should yell

at her at the top of your lungs. After all, you want to make sure you have a

good relationship when you leave. You should also do things such as write

a list of all the things she has been doing wrong for the past 10 years and

how she can fix them even though you know that woman isn't going to

change a damn thing.

23) Customers can wait while you check to see if that person

you absolutely can’t stand liked your Facebook status

Nothing better than seeing that low-life, jealous “friend” of yours like your

status about how much you hate your job. This is how you get the upper

hand.

If you are in a client meeting, let them know you have to focus on your

priorities right now. Or you can just nod your head in agreement while

you wait for everyone and their mother to like and comment on your

status besides that “friend” who YOU KNOW saw the status because she

just posted a status.

24) 2 weeks notice my ass

You know who gives their employers a 2-week notice when they quit?

Rich, white people who throw cocktail parties every other weekends at

their mansions. This is your chance to show your employer how important

you really were to the organization and watch them suffer while you are

gone. Once you know you want to leave the company, just send your boss

an SMS. That’s the least you can do.

25) The resignation letter that will teach them all a lesson

Instead of trying to fix things while at your job, wait until you resign so

you can tell them all the things that you don't like about the job.

"I really wanted to let them know everything they did wrong during the 15

years I was there. It was the longest email I've ever written. If they

incorporate all 235 points that I mentioned, I think this company can get

back to profitability," says John Smith. "Actually, I'm kind of hoping they

don't listen to anything I say so I can talk shit about them for the next 5

years."

Employers will really love this unfiltered view.

"I remember when John sent that email a few years ago. It was one of the

most eye opening emails ever. I don't really agree with him telling

everyone that I was a useless slob who couldn't file a TPS report worth my

life, but hey he was honest and you have to respect that.”

26) Stay close to your colleagues by dating them

They say to keep your friends close and your enemies closer. This is why

dating co-workers is such a great idea. Your boyfriend can be your best

friend one day and your enemy the next day. This creates an environment

in the office where everyone is constantly looking after each other and

promotes healthy competition. It creates moments where everyone

around you will totally appreciate your work after seeing you both argue

in the office kitchen.

So, if I were you, I’d date someone in the office immediately. If you are

having a lot of problems, both of you should talk to HR so they can

mediate it properly. It's like a free marriage counseling service.

27) Call in sick while everyone else is on vacation

This approach works great if you work in a department that's critical to

the business’s operations. Why should you suffer while everyone else is on

his or her planned and well-documented vacation? Call in sick, and make

sure nothing gets done for a few days. This way when everyone gets back,

you all can work as a team to finish all the tasks together.

When your co-workers come back from vacation, they will appreciate the

work you left for them to do. It will make them feel important. Feel free to

shun the co-worker who says he "needs a vacation from his vacation."

Those people don't know what the hell is going on.

28) The shirt will un-wrinkle itself. No one will notice.

It's a well-known fact that if you wear a wrinkled shirt in the morning, by

lunch it will un-wrinkle itself. By then, you will already have a few stains

on your shirt from not eating lunch properly, so it all works itself out.

So, why waste that extra 8 minutes ironing something that will eventually

iron itself naturally? I'll take natural fixes over things that need electricity

to fix. We have to consider our environment.

29) Talking to yourself loudly will not annoy your colleagues

Sometimes you are the smartest person in the room and the only person

you can talk to is yourself. If you do talk to yourself, make sure you talk

out loud so everyone can hear you.

"Did you say something?" is something you will hear often. Just ignore

them and keep talking to yourself. Eventually, they will figure it out and

really appreciate the fact that you can have a conversation with yourself

even though it's the most annoying thing ever.

30) No one will ever figure out you secretly hate everyone in the

office

Keep up the fake attitude as much as possible. Nobody has a clue that you

don't like coming to work every day. By keeping it secret, you allow the

office to focus on their tasks at hand and not worry about unnecessary

drama.

The best approach is to quietly eat in the corner part of the cafeteria alone

during lunch. This way they will think you want to give everyone else the

opportunity to get to know each other since they know you really well

already. It's a very respectful thing to do.

When it comes to office events, they probably won't invite you or you will

be the last person to know. Make sure to show up to those events

unannounced and when you get there don't talk to anyone and find a

corner to sit in. This way you keep up the same consistent attitude that

you have in the office. Your colleagues will really appreciate it.

31) Come to the office when you're sick. It will really show your

dedication to your job and the office will appreciate it.

"I remember this one time when John came to the office sick as a dog. He

was coughing and sneezing every 3 minutes. But yet, he got his work done

and I really commend him for it. Ever since that day he came in, the entire

office got sick because of him. Did they come to the office when they were

sick? NOPE. It just shows how strong and dedicated of a worker John is. I

wish everyone was like him.”

When Michael Jordan had the flu in Game 5 of the NBA Finals, did he

stay at home? Not a chance. He went out there and played like a champ.

Don't be that guy or girl who gets sick and decides to "work from home"

so you don't get anyone else sick. Everyone knows you just can't handle it.

32) No one will get mad at you for using the handicapped stall

as your "shitting stall."

It's no surprise that everyone loves the handicapped stall since it's the

biggest and always in the corner of the bathroom. Using this stall will

make other handicapped people, who have a legitimate use of that stall,

like you more since they will feel a bond with you.

It's not too often that they can say they share the same toilet seat as

someone who is fully capable of shitting while they stand up if they so

please.

If a handicapped person comes to the bathroom looking for the stall while

you are using it, make sure to let them know that you won't be done for a

while and that you are fully capable of using the other 5 open stalls. They

will respect you more for it.

33) Make sure to get road rage as soon as you enter the

company parking lot

Road rage is often misunderstood. By yelling at everyone in the company

parking lot, you will be less likely to be a complete dick once you get to the

office since you "got it out of your system" on the way to work. Your

colleagues will appreciate it.

Also make sure to tell your piece of shit significant other to get off their

ass and do something for once. Only do this when it’s their day off to

really drive your point home.

34) Walking around the house while you brush your teeth will

really make the rest of the workday better

The more time you have in the morning to worry about the rest of your

shit workday the better off you are. When brushing your teeth, walk

around the entire house to remind yourself that you haven't cleaned your

house in over a month because of work.

35) Don’t bring up that time you worked 15-hour shifts for an

entire month 8 months ago on your annual performance review

There are times to brag, and there are times to be humble.

We know your boss doesn’t remember anything that happened during

that month anyway, so the last thing you want to do is remind her of what

you did.

Chalk it off as a learning experience.

36) Taking deep breaths before you walk into the office door is

a sign you really do love your job

Dr. Ann Ganzevort says, "Deep breaths before you open the office door in

the morning is a sign that you really can't wait to see what the day is going

to give to you. It's kind of like saying carpe diem every day, but not really."

The office manager says that he loves to see the forced smile on his

employees’ faces every single morning. "When they get off the elevator

you can tell that they hate their lives, but then they take a deep breath and

give me this half-ass smile when they walk in. It's really awesome to see

that and shows how we work well as a company."

37) Make sure to act like you run the office when your manager

goes on vacation

When your boss is gone, it’s your responsibility to make decisions even

though you have no business making any decisions and no one told you to

make those decisions. Be a leader and start letting everyone know who's

the boss.

Start with the FedEx deliveries. Sign off on everything, and then ask the

accounting staff why they keep getting those brown envelopes every

Monday. When your boss comes back, act like nothing happened.

38) Be honored when a random person appoints you to take

notes at every single meeting

When someone you don't even know tells you that you must take notes

and send them to the group, you should be really honored. The great part

about this is that no one will ever read those notes, so no one will correct

your mistakes.

The first thing senior executives do is look to see who is taking the notes

so they know that this person is definitely not the decision maker in the

room.

The last thing you want to be known for is making decisions.

39) No one will notice if you delegate all your work

"Jenny never has any work to do. Every thing that she gets, she delegates.

She is a super delegator. This is why I constantly promote her. She has

this get-shit-done mentality."

40) Make sure to add 200 people on LinkedIn at the same time

when you're looking for a new job

When your boss gets the email notifications you added 200 people on

LinkedIn and have left recommendations for 6 former colleagues, he will

really be impressed that you did all this in 8 hours.

"Whenever I see a disgruntled employee randomly become very active on

their LinkedIn profile, I get really happy. To me, this shows that this

person is willing to make this current situation work and is trying to

advertise our company. It's a no brainer for both parties. I also get really

excited when I see the employee dressed up randomly in a suit and tie on

jeans day."

41) Only ask annoying questions when your manager is on an

important phone call

Wait until your manager takes a really important phone call, then start

asking them questions that require a lot of detail. Using random sign

language works really well too if they keep telling you to be quiet.

If they tell you to hold on, make sure to keep ignoring their requests. It's

important that people listen when you talk. When you do get their

attention, talk about something that does not involve work. This allows

you to really build a relationship and a common ground of understanding.

42) Listen to every conversation possible, regardless if it

involves you or not

The best tactic is to pretend like you aren't listening to the conversation,

when in reality you're listening to everything. Make it semi-obvious by

starting at the water cooler in the kitchen for 15 minutes with your good

ear closest to the conversation. Check your phone once in a while, but

make sure you hear everything they say.

43) Grunt as loudly as possible every time your boss assigns

you a task

Show off your communication skills by letting your boss know you

completely understand that you have to get off your ass and work. The

more challenging the task, the louder you should grunt.

44) Jealousy of other people's accomplishments shows

confidence

Whenever someone receives an award such as a plaque for being

employed at the company for 20 years, make sure to let them know how

you could never work at the same company for 20 years and that she must

not be employable outside this job.

Inspiration

I was never really a good writer. I never got good grades on my papers in

high school or college. I quickly found the blogs of 2 entrepreneurs whose

writing really resonated with me. I read every word and they quickly

became the only 2 blogs I read consistently.

As I was learning to write on my own blog, I quickly started emulating

both Mark’s and James’s writing styles.

James Altucher (http://www.jamesaltucher.com)

James Altucher is an American hedge fund manager, entrepreneur and

bestselling author. He has founded or cofounded over 20 companies,

including Reset Inc. and StockPickr and claims to have failed at 17 of

them. He has published 11 books and is a frequent contributor to

publications including The Financial Times, TheStreet.com, TechCrunch,

Seeking Alpha, Thought Catalog, and The Huffington Post.30

James is one of the most brilliant writers I’ve read and his work was

unbelievably refreshing to read. He was candid, and he expressed himself

in a way that really made me want to read everything he wrote.

Through his blog he taught me how to “bleed on the page” with my

writing. Writing that was previously off limits for me especially in a public

space is now something I can do because of James.

Mark Suster (http://bothsidesofthetable.com)

30 Bio taken from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Altucher

Mark Suster is a 2x entrepreneur who has gone to the Dark Side of VC. He

joined Upfront Ventures in 2007 as a General Partner after selling his

company to Salesforce.com. He focuses on early-stage technology

companies.

Mark’s writing resonated with me because he’s able to speak clearly about

issues many entrepreneurs have faced and provides solutions his readers

can relate to.

He consistently wrote articles that provided value to me as an

entrepreneur and I started to follow his writing very closely.

As a writer, this affected me quite a bit because it really made me focus on

just the facts and feel more confident talking about taboo subjects if I felt

I could provide value to the conversation.

Acknowledgements

Betsy Mikel – Editor and the “You don’t know the difference between

their & there do you?” Girl.

If it weren’t for Betsy, you would have stopped reading after the first page.

I’m a grown man and still can’t tell the difference in usage between their

and there. Luckily, she does. Hell, even this paragraph is going to be

edited because I’m sure I wrote something wrong.

Jared Zawada – The “Hey man, this chapter sucks” Guy.

Because of Jared I had to re-write so many chapters. Jared quit his

corporate job to move to Australia to help find himself. It’s been a year

and he still he has no idea what he wants to do with his life. He took his

anger out on reviewing early revisions of my book.

Lindsay Lamb – The “You should read this life changing book which

will totally change everything you already wrote in your book” Girl.

Lindsay was the first person outside of my wife who knew of my plans to

write a book. She helped me edit the first version of my book. I’m

thankful this version looks nothing like that version.

Timothy Klein – “Let’s shoot this scene another time because you don’t

know what you are doing” Guy.

Tim shot my original Fire Me I Beg You video that’s on my website

http://firemeibegyou.com. Two days of shooting for a video clip that

ended up to be 2 minutes long. Video is hard.

Nura Othman – The “I have a dope idea” Girl.

Nura designed the first version of the book cover and help me finish the

latest version.

Shazia Hussain – The “Your grammar sucks” Girl.

Shazia helped me edit the second version of my book. As you can tell, I

need a lot of help in the grammar area.

Fernando Avila – The “We’re going to need more equipment for this”

Guy.

Fernando took the 2 days of footage that Tim shot and created the final

video. He made sure the audio was perfect. I hate video.