Family Restoration Curriculum Parents a

8/3/2019 Family Restoration Curriculum Parents a

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Abundant Life Academy

Family Restoration Curriculum

Month 3

Leadership - Page 4-5Reframing & Restoring Jesus Way! Page 6-10

Month 4

Originators vs. RespondersPart 1Page 10-13Originators vs. RespondersPart IIPage 13-15

Month5Originators vs. RespondersPart IIIPage 16-19

Past IssuesPage 20-21(This call will occur before the parents arrive for the Conference)

Month 6

ForgivenessPage 21-26Submission to AuthorityPage 26-28

Month 7

ManipulationPage 28-31RespectPage 31-34

Month 8

TrustPage 34-37

Choice & AccountabilityPage 37-40

Month 9

Academics After ALAPage 40Church After ALAPage 41-42

Month 10

Home Visit ExpectationsPage 42-43Student/Parent DISCPage 43-45

Month 11

Expectations After ALAPage 45

Family CovenantBeginning the ProcessPage 46-48

Month 12

Family Covenant CallPreparing for Graduation and Returning Home!


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Welcome to Abundant Life Academy

Dear Parents,

Below you will find the curriculum that we provide to the Parents and the Students in preparation for the FamilyRestoration program. The students are required to read, study, and soak into each element prior to participating in theFamily Restoration program with you. They are also required to answer the questions as you will do. In the first two orthree months they go through the preliminary chapters (Leadership, Reframing, Originators vs. Responders) During thistime you will have 15-minute calls with them every other week and it is appropriate to ask your child what he/she thinksabout the particular topic they are currently studying, and the student can offer his/her opinion and experience of thecurriculum thus far. Dont be surprised if they struggle articulating the cognitive concepts. It takes time to develop adeeper understanding of these very key principles. Remember, many adults dont get it.

These preliminary elements equip them to participate effectively in the day-to-day program at Abundant Life Academy,and it prepares them to take advantage of the Family Restoration program with you at a latter date. These preliminaryelements have a purpose, and that is to teach conflict resolution. In the first two to four months of enrollment you childwill be learning the elementary elements of the ALA Leadership Curriculum: Personality Blends, Temperaments,Emotional Intelligence, Leadership and Self-deception, and Choice Theory. Additionally, this particular curriculum(below) prepares and equips them to better understand the ALA Leadership Curriculum. The curriculum within theFamily Restoration Program (below) is really all about resolving conflicts, building relationships, and empowerment. Thecurriculum herein is all about the application of the ALA Leadership Curriculum. In essence, it is where the rubber meets

the road. Additionally, this Family Restoration Curriculum is designed to help overcome the normal roadblocks, typicalhindrances, and eliminate the victimhood, the blame game, and to lay the foundation to pave the way for true andauthentic restoration with the family.

You wont officially start the Family Restoration program with your child until you have completed the parent coachingwith our Parent Coach. At that time you and your child will begin to have the biweekly 45 minute restoration phone callsfacilitated by your Family Rep. This material will lay the groundwork for your restorative process with your child. Tobetter understand where your child is at, better understanding of what they are struggling to deal with, and moreimportantly the best way to support them through the process. This process will bring forth your blind spots, your lack ofunderstanding, and it certainly will bring out many AHHA! moments of revelation. So, from this point on it is yourresponsibility to have read, studied, and discussed this material amongst yourself prior to the call from the FamilyRepresentative. Take notes, and be ready to get a deeper and more meaningful understanding of the curriculum during the

call. Each call may cover two or three elements of the curriculum, so you will be moving fast. Being prepared isessential.


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Dear Student,

The fact that you are ready this tells me that you are a newly enrolled student of Abundant Life Academy, and you arenow sitting with your staff mentor or valued Life Coach. You are both ready to get started, working together, and youwill build a deeper understanding because this is going to be a relational and emotional journey of discovery. You cannotaccomplish this on your own. Glancing at this material is not acceptable. You will not be able to transition fromTrimester 1 to Trimester 2 without fully experiencing the foundational wisdom of the first two months of this program.

The best way to go through the Family Restoration program and get something powerful out of it is to do it with others

(staff and peers). It is your responsibility to get together with other students, and staff, and go through these bi-weeklyelements as a group. It is your responsibility to set up times during the week to work with your peers and facilitated bystaff. This process requires commitment, deep thought, and deep discussion, deliberation, sharing of ideas, experiencesand outcomes. Most importantly, Life Coaches must facilitate this Family Restoration program. The Life Coaches are thecatalyst to your growth and understanding of this initial step of the Abundant Life Academy. They are required to beexperts on this curriculum, and they are responsible to assist you in everyway to make sure this process is a heart-changing-live-saving experience.

The Life Coaches are required to know this material by heart, and to be able to work with all students, as individuals andas a group. The Life Coaches are required to set up weekly groups and set aside time to work with students individuallygoing through the process of learning the material. The Family Representative is responsible to make sure that you havethis packet, and that you understand your responsibilities, obligations, and the systems you have at your disposal. The

Family Representative will ensure that you are working on this material, ensuring that you are being prepared for theFamily Restoration process.

Once you have finished the first two chapters of this packet, and your parents have completed parent coaching, you willbegin the Family Restoration process with your family. This will take place by phone every two weeks. You willcontinue to meet with your peers and the Life Coaches and prepare for the next subject/topic outlined in this packet.Every other week there is a new subject/topic (see outline), and before the call with your parents you must be totallyprepared. Prepared means that you have read the packet, discussed it with Life Coaches, with your peers, discussed it ingroup, and have met with your Family Representative who approves your readiness. This process is extremely important,and in the phone call with the parent you will be describing what you have learned about yourself, what new choices yourwill make from this point on, and how you are going to give back to others (repentance, responsibility, restoration).

This Family Restoration Program is not something that is completed like you would complete a class, such as English 10.The Family Restoration Program is something that will change your life, and it is not a class, or a task, or something to doto get out of the program. This must be a process where you really soak yourself into, understand deeply, and come toconclusions about yourself, and where you want to be in the future.


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Leadership

Who determines the quality of a leader?

What isleadership? Who is a leader? What elements do we consider when we assess any organization's leadership? Howimportant is the leadership to a community, a business, or a civic group? What factors play into determiningleaders? Doessomeone's financial status count? What about their personal clout, or their personality, or even their social status? Do anyof these have a significant weight when determining who is, or who is not, the leader?

We can discuss all of these questions related toleadership, and look at virtually every possible element of leadership andleaders and still not understand what makes a good leader. There have been hundreds of awesome books, thousands ofarticles, and perhaps hundreds of thousands discussions pertaining to successful leadership. There are so many theoriesand formulas regarding leadership. Its an interesting topic that has been thoroughly investigated to no avail. If we were

honest with ourselves we would have to admit that no one has the perfect formula for the making of a perfect leader. Butwhy?

The most important element to the success or failure of leadership is not related to the leader or leadership. Leaders andleadership are a minimal part of the success or failure of leaders. Followers are far more important! The followers havethe most significant impact on the significance (success or failure) of any leader, far more than the talent or gifting of theleader. The subject of effective following has been totally ignored and overlooked.

While its true that great leaders can bring out the best of his/her followers, the followers and their abilities will determinehow great the leader becomes. The overall success or failure of any business, civic group (city, State, or Nation), orathletic team has everything to do with the majority of the participants, namely those who follow. Leaders and leadershipis very important, but even the greatest leaders can only go so far with those they lead. The determination of the followers(how motivated and equipped the followers are) will determine how far the leaders will take them.

The level of competency of the followers is very important. Their education, practical experience, and training are just asimportant. But more important than competency, experience, or training is their heart (willingness, internal drive, andmotivation). How dedicated are the followers? How determined are they? What is their level or depth of motivation?Certainly the leaders can impact these areas and have influence as to how they are applied. But the followers, as a group,as a unit or organization will determine the outcome of the task, goal, or objective.

Its the intangibles of the group, such as their combined personality, natural cohesiveness, and/or shared values (sharedvision and shared goals as well) have the greatest impact on the success or failure of the leadership! If there is a sharedcause, or shared goal, where all members of a group have some kind of profound stake in the outcome there will be addedemphasis, or added determination in their combined effort. Therefore, regardless of the competency or gifting of theleadership, if the followers (group or community members) have a great stake in the outcome the group can succeed. As amatter of fact, if there is a tremendous stake in the outcome the followers can succeed despite the leadership. Theintangibles (regarding the followers) are more important as it pertains to success, than the value or experience of theleadership.

Most of the effort and focus of any organization is on the leadership. Most of the research regarding effective leadershipis focused on the leaders and their ability to lead. However, it just doesn't make sense to put so much emphasis on theleaders and their ability to lead, when the most important aspect of any outcome is in the followers. Do you ever hear

about a bestselling book on "effective following"? Do you ever see professional training and development for a businessor sports team that focuses on developing phenomenal followers? Rarely, if ever, will you find any written regarding"effective followers". Why so much emphasis on the leadership?

Take Jesus for example, if you used today's standards to evaluate His earthly ministry you would be hard pressed to findany success (before death and ascension). All of His followers deserted Him at the end. Only His disciples and a fewwomen were with him at the end of His life. Even His most trusted disciples deserted Him after Jesus was arrested. Oneof His followers, Judas, betrayed Him, and the leader of the followers, Peter, denied knowing Him three times. Thefollowers of Jesus Christ were not very impressive.
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I am afraid that after three years with Jesus the group of 12 were no better off than the first day they started followingJesus; they didn't seem to listen or understand all that Jesus taught. And, the few that stood by Jesus to the end were notreal members of His clan. The outsiders, those on the fringe of the group, stood by Jesus even after His death. They werethe women who followed from a far. Martha and Mary stayed with Jesus until the end, believing the words He spoke,expecting Him to rise on the third day after His death. All the while the main members of the group were devastated, hadgiven up, and were ready to throw in the towel, admitting defeat.

As believers we hold fast to the Scriptures found in the Bible. Jesus said many profound things about His death andresurrection. He also gave His followers instructions to follow, goals, aspirations, tasks, and a destiny - all that we were

to do after His ascension into Heaven. The Apostle Paul, who wrote a majority of the New Testament, also wrote a greatdeal about the task given to the followers of Jesus. Paul, among many other things, described the followers as "believers",those whose faith was in the words of Jesus. Paul gave us commands, direction, instruction, correction, and called us toaction. As followers of Jesus Christ we have a common goal, a shared vision, and a defined hope in Christ. Jesus, in theGospel according to John, told us that He was going to send us the Holy Spirit, who would lead us to the final victory.Paul spoke a great deal about following the leadership of the Holy Spirit. Paul described the followers of Christ to be onebody, one spirit, in one accord. As Jesus called us to "be one in Him and His Father", Paul also called us to be in oneSpirit and one body (one mature man built up into Christ), under one calling, to fulfill the commission given to us byJesus.

Jesus is the ultimate leader, the perfected one, having overcome all obstacles, including conquering death. Jesus, as aleader, demonstrated the very best elements of leaderships, more so than any other person who ever lived. However,

Jesus, to complete what He came to accomplish, needs our cooperation. The Holy Bible says that He (Jesus) is our head,and we are His body. The Word also states that we are His Bride, one flesh with Him. Being in one mind, one Spirit, asone body, we are Christ's. We are seated at His right hand, in the heavenly places, c0-heirs, and partners in the promises.Jesus, by the Holy Spirit, works through us, in us, and for us. However, He can do nothing without our faith, and evenwith Faith it is given to us. As a matter of fact that Word states that we have been given everything, everything physical,everything spiritual, and everything that is needed to complete and fulfill what God promised in Jesus. If this is all truethen the real issue is our willingness to follow Jesus. His leadership is perfect, He is perfect, but He is looking for us tocomplete the mission and He needs us to follow Him. The completion of the will of God is the willingness for all of us,true believers, lovers of the truth, to follow. The followers in this case are the reason, the purpose, and the cause. ToJesus, its all about us, the followers. His sacrifice and His obedience to His Father is all about us, the followers.

Therefore, our need is to focus on building up the followers, to strengthen the followers, and train up the followers. Jesus,

in His entire ministry, is about preparing and equipping the followers. Its not about Jesus, as the leader, its about thoseHe is leading. Jesus' heart is for the follower; the reason for His gift is about the follower. Therefore, it is time to get oureyes off of training up leaders alone, but to train up good followers who can be lead by leadership. At Abundant LifeAcademy we are to focus our attention on the followers while raising up leaders. To be a great leader it first takes us to bethe very best follower. Without being the best follower, it is impossible to reach our highest potential as a leader.


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Reframing and Restoring... Jesus way!

Jesus is our example.... you will find this little nugget of truth in Hebrews. For those who are students of the WORDgo read the book of Hebrews, and then read the teaching below.

Is God in control of everything? I mean, everything? Does the Bible not tell us to praise God in all things? Whatabout the bad things? What about the horrible tests and trials that we go through? What about Jesus, in Luke Chapter4 when he comes out of the Jordan filled with the Holy Spirit and then is weaken ed by a 40 day fast, and then.

Satan tempts Jesus in every way. Jesus comes out of the Jordan after being tempted and now has THE FULLPOWER OF THE SPIRIT! (According the Luke 4). The question I pose Is God always in control, or is He aware ofwhat is going on, or does He allow all things to occur? What about the dark trials we go through? Does God allowthese, or is He the one behind it? Does God use the darkness to bring about His will?

2 Thessalonians 2:8-12 Then that lawless one will be revealed whom the Lord will slay with the breath of Hismouth and bring to an end by the appearance of His coming; that is, the one whose coming is in accord with theactivity of Satan, with all power and signs and false wonders, and with all the deception of wickedness for those whoperish, because they did not receive the love of the truth so as to be saved. For this reason God will send upon thema deluding influence so that they will believe what is false, in order that they all may be judged who did not believethe truth, but took pleasure in wickedness.

The Bible says that God created everything, and is over all things, including Satan. The Bible also is very clear Godwill send Satan or His tormentors.

Job 1:1, 7-12Job 2:3-7There was a man in the land of Uz whose name was Job; and that man was blameless,upright, fearing God and turning away from evil. The LORD said to Satan, "From where do you come?" Then

Satan answered the LORD and said, "From roaming about on the earth and walking around on it." The LORDsaid to Satan, "Have you considered My servant Job? For there is no one like him on the earth, a blameless andupright man, fearing God and turning away from evil." Then Satan answered the LORD, "Does Job fear God fornothing? Have You not made a hedge about him and his house and all that he has, on every side? You have blessedthe work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. "But put forth your hand now and touch allthat he has; he will surely curse You to Your face." Then the LORD said to Satan, "Behold, all that he has is in

your power, only do not put forth your hand on him." So Satan departed from the presence of the LORD.. TheLORD said to Satan, "Have you considered My servant Job? For there is no one like him on the earth, a blamelessand upright man fearing God and turning away from evil. And he still holds fast his integrity, although you incitedMe against him to ruin him without cause." Satan answered the LORD and said, "Skin for skin! Yes, all that a manhas he will give for his life. "However, put forth Your hand now, and touch his bone and his flesh; he will curseYou to Your face." So the LORD said to Satan, "Behold, he is in your power, only spare his life." Then Satan wentout from the presence of the LORD and smote Job with sore boils from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head.

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me fromexalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me--to keep me fromexalting myself! Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. And He has said to me,"My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness " Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about

my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, withinsults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I amstrong.

Does God have a pattern for those who believe? I mean, if you read the Bible, those who really love God with all theirhearts, serving Him with everything they have, suffer BECAUSE of their servant hood to God? What about Cain?Abraham? Caleb and Joshua? And, what about Joseph? Did he suffer terrible things? Lets take Joseph for example.He suffered terribly. He was betrayed by his brothers and left to die in a well.


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He was a slave, he served time in prison, and those who promised to serve him forgot him. Virtually he did nothing todeserve any of it, and his suffering was unjust. However, God had a plan the whole time. Joseph, because of hissuffering, was perfectly equipped to be the salvation of Israel in their time of desperation.

Well, what did God do in those terrible things? With each one, He brought Glory, freedom, triumph, and victory tohimself and salvation to man. King David, the Disciples, and even Jesus Himself were tortured, tormented, betrayed,persecuted, and suffered great harm. And, God used each situation to bring about His glory and our eternal life. TakeKing David for example. He was anointed King, but went through years of unjust suffering. He was chased out of

town for doing the right thing and serving the King. He settled up with the worst outlaws around, became their leader,and then went through four markedly difficult trials, each worse than the previous. Finally, his best friend Jonathandied. Finally, King David became King and God restored the Kingdom of Judah and the Kingdom of Israel, as theywere restored for the time being. And, King David continued to learn his lessons due to the darkness.

King David wrote some of the Psalms! Have you ever benefited from reading the Psalms? Have you ever beenblessed by the Psalms? Gain insight, empowerment, freedom, and relief? King David wrote those Psalms based on hisdays of suffering in the darkness, distress, and despair. King David was the young boy who killed the Philistine andsaved Israel. He was anointed King and had to wait in total isolation, and he waited. He was the one who won all thosebattles against enemies of Israel. He was a righteous man, a man after Gods own heart, and was often attacked andlived in torment. The darkness invaded his life many times, and with each episode he grew in power and humility.

What about all the writings of Paul in the New Testament? Did Paul write the Corinthians because they were perfectand were doing everything right? What about the Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians? No! These churches were notdoing the right things. The Corinthians were totally out of control, wrapped up in total darkness. Paul wrote all thoseletter as letters of hope, encouragement AND correction! Because these people (Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians,Philippians) really messed up badly, Paul wrote the letters. Yes, Paul wanted to encourage these churches, but inreality he corrected them. So, because these guys messed up a very long time ago, I now have the New Testament, theWord of God, and because they messed up I have THE TRUTH!. Praise God these people messed up, lacked faith,made mistakes, were led astray, got off track, believed what was false etc. Because they did all these terrible thing Ihave the ability to read the Bible and live eternally in truth, victory, and triumph.

So, does God use torment, torture, unfairness, persecutions, attacks, etc. to bring about His glory, and to bless us with

every Spiritual blessing (Ephesians chapter 1)? Yes He does! Jesus died a brutal death, as a sinless man, as the Son

of God, sent here to give us eternal life. He suffered, died, and was buried. All that gave us the greatest gift knownto man! His death was the best thing that ever happened! His suffering was the greatest triumph. His betrayal was sosweet, so beautiful, incredibly victorious.

So, does the Bible point out any uniqueness, anything special, and pathway leading us to God and to His way? Yes itdoes it points us to the bad, horrible, tests and trials of darkness. All the disappointments are our greatest blessings.So thank God Jesus suffered and died! Thank God that all these men and women of faith suffered so much. The trialsof Darkness are found in the Bible, cover-to-cover.

But how do we relate to Gods pattern now? Do we glory in our pain, trials, and horrible circumstances of loss anddestruction? No we blame it on Satan, as if God has no control and cant stop the torment! The truth is that God

uses the torment, suffering, and pain to bring about His glory and our freedom and eternal blessings. He allows allthese things to occur, and in the end because of the torment our faith grows, our dependence on Jesus increases, and wereceive wisdom that is not of this world. We truly live as free men of Grace when we suffer. And, Jesus told us thatwe would suffer, for His sake. Paul wrote that same thing. So, when we suffer because of our faith, and our service tothe Kingdom, we are being blessed and given life. But do we acknowledge that?

What most believers testify is not the true depiction of Gods blessings. We look at the strangest things and call themblessings; a new job, a new house, a healing, and a miracle. But the Bible shows something entirely different. TheApostle Paul gloried in the sufferings he took on because of his faith in Christ.


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The sufferings, according to Paul, are the blessings. It is where we see God and experience His love while on earth.Im happy when I receive an earthly blessing, but is that really from God? Or, are the terrible trials, losses, setbacks,torments, and unfairness the blessings? Are the earthly blessings (new job, new house, etc.) really the blessings fromabove? Well, to settle this question once and for all, you are going to have to seek the truth in the Bible. Pick anypage, anywhere, and read 50 to 100 pages. If you dont see Gods unique way, then you are blind.

Remember, His ways are above our ways. In everything bad that happens to me I am always, almost instantly, seekingGod in them. I know the suffering, the trials, the tests, the torments are allowed by God if not orchestrated by Him, and

in those horrible things I receive the blessings (all of them!).

Therefore, I have to do what Jesus did. Jesus reframed everything that happened. Everything bad that happened Hereframed to and it was defined as a blessing from the Father. We saw Jesus suffer, die, and buried. Then we receivedthe promised Holy Spirit. Praise God that Jesus died. Praise God that Jesus was betrayed, beaten, and thencrucified. It was the best thing that every happened for mankind! What a gift.

So, when you are going through sufferings, loss, setbacks, disappointments, tests, trials, and horror, do youimmediately praise God and start looking for the gold nuggets of truth and triumph from heaven? Do you immediatelyrecognize the hell on earth as a blessing? Jesus death was a tragedy! But it was soooooo good! Are your tragediesgood? Are your sufferings and horror praise worthy? Can you see the attacks as the blessing? Jesus did, Paul did,and John did

Please enjoy just a few of the scriptures that lead us to be reframers, reformaters, with special abilities to see the

gifts in the tragedies. Its called receiving the Spirit of wisdom, knowledge, understanding, patience, perseverance, longsuffering, can counsel (the seven-fold Holy Spirit who is to be your comforter, teacher, bringing all things Jesus hassaid to your remembrance)

Several scriptures that tells us that only by Gods divine call do we even have the ability to call upon Jesus, or to

ask Him into our hearts, or to invite Him into our hearts to be our Lord and Savior. We cant even do that

unless God does it for us..

John 2:34-36 For the one whom God has sent speaks the words of God, for God gives the Spirit without limit. The

Father loves the Son and has placed everything in his hands. Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, butwhoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God's wrath remains on him."

Parents want their children to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior. If they are rejecting Christ, the parents areheartbroken. They often judge ALA and our job as Christian mentors. These parents need to take up this problem withGod! See below (Please NOTE: You will find the same truth in 1 Corinthians 12:3 as well as other places)

John 5:64-66 Yet there are some of you who do not believe." For Jesus had known from the beginning which ofthem did not believe and who would betray him. He went on to say, This is why I told you that no one can come tome unless the Father has enabled him. From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followedhim.

Parents sometimes get mad at ALA for not leading their child to the Spirit of Truth. We cannot cause someone to hearGods voice. We can only speak the truth in Love. The rest is between God and the student. God uses the studentstime of distress (rebellion) to speak into their hearts. This is why it is so important that parents stop rescuing theirchild. Let them deal with the consequences of their choices. GO READ the story of the Prodigal Son! Did his fatherrescue him or the older brother?

John 8:47 He who belongs to God hears what God says. The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong toGod."


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So God uses sickness, betrayal, persecutions, beatings, unfairness, and even death, to glorify Him, and to set us free,and to build our faith.

John 11:438-44 When he heard this, Jesus said, "This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory sothat God's Son may be glorified through it." Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. Yet when he heard thatLazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more daysJesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. Itwas a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. "Take away the stone," he said. "But, Lord," said Martha, thesister of the dead man, "by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days." Then Jesus said, "Did I

not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" So they took away the stone. Then Jesus lookedup and said, "Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for thebenefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me. When he had said this, Jesus called in aloud voice, "Lazarus, come out!" The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and acloth around his face. Jesus said to them, "Take off the grave clothes and let him go."

John 13:21 After he had said this, Jesus was troubled in spirit and testified, "I tell you the truth, one of you is

going to betray me."

Did God the Father rescue His son from betrayal? Persecution? Beatings? What about death?

John 15:19-25 That is why the world hates you. Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than

his master.' If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yoursalso. They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the One who sent me. If I had not comeand spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin. Now, however, they have no excuse for their sin. He who hatesme hates my Father as well. If I had not done among them what no one else did, they would not be guilty of sin. Butnow they have seen these miracles, and yet they have hated both me and my Father. But this is to fulfill what iswritten in their Law: 'They hated me without reason.

Has the modern day church doctrine led us astray? Is the doctrine of prosperity in alignment with the Word of God?Do preachers compel non-believers to receive Jesus by telling them about the trials, testings, torments, pain, orsuffering that will come? Do they preach about how wonderful the attacks are? Do they teach us to glory in theweaknesses, attacks, persecutions, offense, and insults?

John 16:20. 33I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but yourgrief will turn to joy. A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby isborn she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. So with you: Now is your time ofgrief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy. In that day you will no longerask me anything. I tell you the truth; my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. Until now you have notasked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.. "I have told you thesethings, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome theworld."

Well there it is. In black and white. Now, you could use any one of the books of the New Testament and found thesame thing. In the book of Revelations, the promises are to the overcomers. Well, I dont see anyone praising God in

the New Testament because they got a new job, found the perfect mate, got a new (or working) car! I see sufferingeverywhere! Therefore, as Paul says in 2 Corinthians chapter 12, when He asked God three times to remove themessenger from Satan, the tormentor, and God said, No way man! This tormentor makes you weak, and in yourweakness I am strong, in you! Paul immediately reframes his understanding of the torment and now seess itdifferently. Paul says, Gladly, therefore, please give me more torment! By all means make me weaker!Meaning, if torment will get me more of Jesus, bring it on!

We are to believe that God is in control, and we should not find it strange when we encounter a whole bunch of badthings, bad luck, and major torment.


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Count it all joy the Bible says! What about you? Do you see the rich blessings in all the setbacks, disappointments,betrayals, and persecutions? Or, are you still praying for that new job, new car, and better mate? The blessing is inthe period of extended unemployment! The blessings are found in not having transportation. The blessings are in thepain and agony waiting upon the Lord for the perfect mate.

Please consider reformatting, reframing, and reformulating your understanding of Gods blessings; with a new

understanding that your troubles related to your troubled teen is the greatest blessing that you have ever received, andGod gave this to you as His special gift. Now, go praise Him for all the suffering that you have dealt with because of

your troubled teen, or praise Him because of your ugly nasty ex-wife (or ex-husband.) and all the hell they havecaused you, or because of the sickness, or death close to you. You, my brother/sister, are truly blessed! And, if thisteaching makes you upset with me, what Scripture did I use that makes you so mad? What part of the Bible did I usethat makes you upset with me? Take this and ALL teachings to the WORD. Dont believe me, I am a fallible man.Take it to the WORD. And, if you find what I found, get mad at the preachers who have lied to you and your troubledteen.

Originators vs. Responders

Wisdom and Keys to Success

The concept of the Originators and Responders- How does conflict and discord come about?

Is it important to know how to avoid conflict? Is it important to know how conflict comes about, or how it starts? Is itimportant to know how to get out of conflict after you find yourself in it? What are the consequences of conflict? Whatcan happen if conflict is unresolved, and how far can it go? What is the end result of conflict when it is not resolved?Have you ever caused a conflict that brought tremendous pain, loss, and regret? Would it have been nice to know how toget out of the conflict before you lost so much? Is it important to avoid the kind of conflict that causes people to lose theirjobs (arguments with the boss), destroy relationships (marriages), stay out of jail (domestic violence), or get sent to aboarding school? Would it be important to know that you dont know how to handle or resolve conflict? If you dont

know how to handle conflict, is it important for you to know? Would you like to know?

Offense, whether intentional or not, is the foundational action that leads to personal and organizational conflict and

discord. The offense that leads to conflict & discord, which is misunderstandings, disrespect, dissension, hurt, betrayal,and overall dysfunction, has a predictable pattern that is observable and fixable. Organizations effected by thedysfunction related to offense, to name a few, are governmental bodies, community organizations, businesses of all kinds,athletic teams at every level, academic institutions, clubs, churches, informal groupings of friends (peer groups), and mostimportantly families. For the purpose of this exercise is going to focus primarily on the conflict and discord regardingfamilies.

Conflict and discord in the family unit can be extremely detrimental and harmful to all people involved. Certainly,familial relationships that experience ongoing and continual offenses can be damaged, destroyed, and eventuallydiscarded. Relationship can be so dysfunctional that there seems to be no possibility of repair or restoration. Mostfamilies experience some level of this kind of dysfunction and therefore most people can relate to the hurt and sense ofloss and regret associated with familial discord. This can be the most hurtful type of offense one can experience in their

lifetime, leading to all kinds of relational dysfunction throughout their lifetime.

If a young person does not learn how to effectively handle conflict and discord it will present problems throughout his/herlife. These problems are often devastating.Young people who have relational issues caused by conflict grow into adults who continue to have relational problemswhere ever they may go, but as adults the relational discord is much more painful and destructive. For example, youngpeople who often experience breakups between boyfriend and girlfriend, or visa-versa, fallouts with your best friends,major dissension with parents, more often than not are those who experience job loss, divorce, and other painful breakupsas adults.


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What causes the conflict and discord? Certainly, one or more of the familial members are selfish and self-absorbed. Inother words, certain members become self-engrossed, where everything becomes about them. This self-centerednesscan cause more damage than one can imagine. However, there is something very unique and distinctive about the self-centeredness that causes the unimaginable hurt, leading to the profound dysfunction that causes tremendous offense to allparties. Before the dysfunction comes the original offense, and the original offense is an act of self-centeredness. Theoriginator, the person who is self-centered and selfish acts out their selfishness in a way that causes harm to the recipient.This selfish act is the originator of the conflict and discord. The recipient becomes the responder, and can only respondto the harmful act of the originator.The responder can respond in a proactive (positive) manner, or respond in negative way causing the continuation and

downward spiral of the originator/responder conflict. Ultimately, the negative response from the responder is just asdetrimental as the originators act that started the conflict and discord.

A 15 year old male sneaks out of his bedroom one night and hooks up with some girls, they sneak into a party with olderkids. There is a great deal of alcohol and a few older kids are smoking tons of pot. The 15-year-old male gets hammeredand passes out. The 17 year old throwing the party (his parents are gone) is pissed, and wants the drunk and stone 15-year-old idiot out of his house. The girls that came with the 15 year old drag him out of the house, but due to the fact thatthey are hammered they only get so far. A local police officer drives by, and the freaked out girls scatter in differentdirections. Himself, passed out in some strangers yard, leaves the intoxicated 15-year-old boy and the boy is arrested.The boy is transported to the hospital and finally the police are able to find out enough information to call his parents. Hisparents go down to the hospital and find their son still drunk, passed out, and heading to jail. They are very angry and thedad goes off, yelling and screaming, upsetting the mom. The 15 year old wakes up for the first time and sees his dad

yelling and mom crying. The dad notices that his son has woken up and begins to yell and scream. The police escort thedad out of the hospital room. As he is escorted down the hall he continues his tirade. The 15 year old is very upset andyells out, I hate you, you bastard!

In the scenario above who is the originator and who is the responder? Who has the power over the situation, and who islosing his power? Who is the one that can change the situation and fix it so that everyone can win, eventually? Who hasno power over this situation and cannot fix the situation, but can make it much worse? Who is able to respond in apositive and proactive manner, making a bad situation more apt to turn out positive, if possible? Who really is the onewho can make the traumatic situation be turned around, resolved, and headed back to a better relationship despite theapparent major setback? These questions are extremely important to be answered. A family coach (Christiancounselor, therapist, Pastor, etc.) cannot help a family overcome the damage done by the originating offense without bothparties (parents and child) understanding fully the originator and the responder and the roles each play.

Most of the time the responder is looked upon as the problem and most of the energy (cause, blame) is put on theresponder. This is especially true with the originator, as the responder responds negatively it tends to justify theoriginators original action. So, in the case of the 15 year old he is obviously the originator. His actions were ridiculous,stupid, and could have caused great harm to himself and others. Dad responds very poorly, causing the son and the momto be hurt deeply by his emotional terror. Dad screams and yells, which is understandable, and causes mom to stand withthe son, and despises dads behavior. Now the focus is on the dad, but he was only responding to the original offense.Had the son not snuck out and got extremely intoxicated and wound up in jail the dad would not have responded poorly.But, in the eyes of the son (originator) he claims that he sneaks out and drinks because dad is such a jerk. So, theoriginator blames the responder. Also, mom is now more disgusted with her husband for his poor response, and nowmoves over to defend and protect her son, as if he was the one who was responding. Now we have a major problem withlittle hope of restoration.

The truth is that the son has all the power and ability to restore the relationship and fix everything. The dad can onlyrespond, positively or negatively. The dad has no other option. To respond negatively causes the opposite of what he waslooking for, and to respond positively only opens the door to a good resolution, but the power of full restoration comesfrom the son (originator) alone. This scenario plays out over and over again, and usually there is no progress or resolve,as it only gets worse. There is only more offense, more hurt, and more conflict/discord. The secret is to know when youare the originator and stand up like a strong and noble man or woman and take responsibility for the originating offenseand make restitution. The secret to successful relationships within a family is to take responsibility when you are theoriginator and to become the solution.


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The ability for anyone to know the originator vs. responder system is to be mature, powerful, and successful in every

area of your life. To not know the originator vs. responder system is to be a powerless victim of yourself causing allyour own problems but never knowing all your bad outcomes are due to you and you alone.

At Abundant Life Academy a 16-year-old student sneaks a cheat sheet into his room and shares it with his roommates.The entire room of boys uses the cheat sheet and they get caught. During the investigation they all lie at first, and thenwhen presented with overwhelming evidence that they cheated they finally admit what they did. In the process ofinvestigating the cheating scandal more bad behavior is discovered and brought forward; many more students areimplicated in various retarded behavior. The originator was the boy who snuck the cheat sheet into his room and then

shared it with his roommates. The responders are the roommates. The roommates become extremely angry with theoriginator, and they threaten him with isolation and violence. The other students implicated in the discovery of othernegative behaviors (unrelated to the cheating scandal) are also very angry at all the roommates, blaming them for thenegative consequences they received as their behavior was discovered in the investigation. So, all the focus is on theresponders.

The responders response justifies the originators negative behavior. The originators are one, the student who brought inthe cheat sheet, and two, the other boys given consequences for their negative behavior, which were discovered in theinvestigation. However, the focus of blame and hatred are toward the responders. At this point it is obvious that none ofthe students have emotional maturity, and they are stuck. The possibility of these kids learning from this experience isslim and none and they will most likely repeat the negative behavior and get caught again. This cycle of offense andconsequence continues, sometimes for decades, until the originator realizes that he/she has caused all the harm, and they

alone have the opportunity (power) to get out of this negative ugly cycle.

The responders could have confiscated the cheat sheet and compelled the originator to turn himself in for sneaking out thecheat sheet. If they had used integrity and were trustworthy, and if they had turned in the originator, they would not havegotten caught and only the originator would have been punished. Also, if the other unrelated students had not acted outtheir negative behavior they would have never been discovered because it wouldnt have happened. Instead, theoriginators are in full belief that the responders are at fault and they blame them for the negative outcome. The originatorsdont learn anything, and will only continue with the negative actions, still believing that theyre a victim. Many druggiesbelieve that if the cops didnt exist then they would have no problems. The laws are stupid, and the legal system is thereason why they are in trouble. To the druggie there is nothing worse than the inappropriate behavior of the lawenforcement, District Attorney, judge, and those responsible for making up the dumb laws in the first place. When his/herparents catch the druggie using drugs then it is his parents who are gay, stupid, and retarded. To the originator (druggie)

the consequences for drug abuse have nothing to do with their own behavior, its the stupid and gay authority that is toblame.

When kids skip school, smoke pot, lie, fail at school, hang out with the wrong crowd and get in trouble for going alongwith this wrong crowd its never their fault. Parents are retarded, police officers are stupid, and all authority has conspiredto ruin their lives. It has nothing to do with the fact that they are hanging out with knuckleheads doing stupid things, ithas nothing to do with sneaking out or lying, it has nothing to do with failed grades, or drug use. Its all about the stupid,gay, and retard parents/police/teachers/coaches/pastors that are ruining their life.

This dysfunctional system plays out every day, especially with emotionally immature self-centered youth. They are theoriginators of the offense but blame (justify) their negative choices on others (parents and authority in general). Anyonewho is dumb enough to come along side the originator and help them out of the nightmare they have created becomes the

next person to blame. Its truly amazing how the emotionally immature teen is able to turn him/herself into a victim(responder).It is so convincing that many fall into the trap of supporting their delusional behavior. The real responder (parents,teachers, police, etc.) is not able to fix the originator, but they are able to respond in a positive pro-social proactivemanner.

When the responder does respond in an appropriate way there is a better chance for the originator to take responsibilityand change, modify, and correct their offensive behavior. The responder has limited power, and they are not empoweredto correct the original offense.


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Only the originator, with true remorse and desire to fix the offensive behavior, can overcome the offense and restore therelationship. When the originator is able to see his/her offense in the originating behaviors they have the chance to takefull responsibility. Therefore, they are now able to take accountability and make new decisions. So, when they recognizetheir offensive behavior (selfishness, self-centeredness, self-absorbedness) and take full responsibility, including thedisplay of remorse and full acknowledgement (confession), they then can follow through with the self-imposedconsequence, and ultimately a change of heart (building the confidence in all parties that there will be a true heart changeand the offensive behavior wont happen again). The responder can lay the groundwork for this proactive solution by theoriginator, but the responder cant force compliance. The responder can respond in a counter-productive manner andscrew everything up. The very best scenario is when the originator recognizes what they have caused, owns up, and

commits to changing the behavior. In this case the responder can help the restoration occur, or hinder it, and thats it noother choice. All the power for restoration lies with the originator.

Please make a list of all the originating offenses that you have caused. In other words, how many responders have

you created in your teenage life and how many had to respond to your crap? How many people have you hurt, lied to,deceived, stolen from, used, and other wise treated horribly. What is your victim? Meaning, when you are the

originator and you refused to take responsibility for your offensive behavior (stupid, gay, retarded, and dumb choices)what kind of victim did you plays? Being a victim in this case would be acting, putting on an act, or playing the

victim. Were you the deceived victim? The tricked victim? The dumb victim? The hopeless victim? What actor wouldyou think would be best to play the role of your victim (Jim Carey from the movie, Dumb and Dumber)?

With this list you will list your offenses and the people you harmed. You will be very descriptive with the types of

behaviors you committed that hurt or offended others (parents, siblings, friends, authority figures, and people you know).You will then describe, for each offense, what you did when you were caught or confronted? Did you take responsibility?Did you lie, cover up, deflect, or blame?

Originators vs. Responders Part II

What makes a leader effective?

How do we take accountability? Why should we take accountability? How would I know that I have takenaccountability? What do we take accountability over? Why dont we take accountability for things we caused, meaning

what are the things we are afraid to face and let go of (knowing it is not our doing, our fault, or our responsibility)? Can

we get away with not taking accountability? What happens if we dont take accountability? Who gets hurt?

In every conflict we have an originator and a responder. There is someone (or a group) that starts a conflict through

an action (behavior) or failing to act when they should have. To make a conflict there must be an action or inaction,intended or not, that is not taken into account. Meaning, someone does something that offends another and that action isnot accounted for, nor is there a person who takes responsibility. Therefore, the offense is stuck. Its out there, real orperceived, and it is causing discord, hurt, betrayal, and offense.

The devastation that is caused by the offense of the originator is worse than any other type or kind of hurt or betrayal. Theoffense of the originator stops all possibility of growth of the relationship. Forget about any prosperity or positivemovement forward in the relationship until the offense is dealt with properly. Everything personal between two people, orpeople and an organization/group, will not progress any further, it wont grow, and it wont be healthy for anyone until the

offense is dealt with and overcome. So, if the originator has all the power to solve the problem caused by the offense,what exactly does he or she need to do? What steps need to be followed? What does it look like to be the originator of anoffense and then solve the conflict (hurt) and restore the relationship?

First, and foremost there must be overt act on the part of the originator to show solid authentic and genuine empathy,remorse, regret, and repentance for what they have done to cause the offense (whether they meant to offend or not).Meaning, the originator must get out of his/her self-centered viewpoint and truly feel the plight of the responder; this musthappen before the responder is able to respond to the original offense, thus taking accountability for what he/she has done.Why should the originator quickly take full responsibility?


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Because most likely the responder is going to respond poorly, causing the conflict to continue and to cycle from oneoffense to another, known as the inappropriate response to the originator. If this happens then the originator will most

likely be offended, hurt, and respond in kind. This is the dance of insanity, where each person (or group) will respond insuch a way as to continue the hurtbeing hurthurt again cycle that doesnt stop.

There is a Nortenos gang in Los Angeles and their turf is a ten-block neighborhood. Directly to the east of theneighborhood there is a Gang affiliated withSurenos. Both gangs hate each other, and there is no love lost. Threeweeks ago one of the Surenos ventured into the Nortenos neighborhood and he was killed. The killing was gruesomeand hideous. Last week the Surenos piled in a car and struck back. They drove into the Nortenos neighborhood and did

a drive by shooting into an occupied house, killing two gang members, a little girl, and a grandmother. Yesterday theNortenos got revenge. Ten Nortenos crashed a Surenos party and shot the place up, killing four people. This cycle has

been going on for the last decade. Hundreds of people have died, hundreds more are in prison, and the devastation causedby the turf war has ruined thousands of lives. Each gang blames the other for all conflict, death, and destruction. It willnever end because no one will take ownership or see them selves as the originator, and they are caught in a dance ofinsanity. The only way out is for one of the gangs to show some leadership (gonads) and take responsibility. They needto hold themselvesaccountable. Decide that there will be no more killing, or destruction of lives. A great leader canbring about a truce and convince (build trust) the other gang to put down their arms and protect their families. There aremany instances where a gang member with true leadership abilities stands up and takes total responsibility, and convinceshis own gang members of doing the same. Stop the insanity.Then, they go out and convince the other side. They take a stand for what is right. They become others-centered. Theycast a vision to both groups and they say, we cant allow another young boy or young girl to die, we cant allow one

more mother to die and leave behind orphans. We cant live in this never-ending war of death, destruction, without hope.Lets come to our senses, band together, and lets see the next generation get an education, live in a place of safety, and letsturn our neighborhoods into a prosperous community.

But leaders like the one described above are few and far between. Mostly we have self-centered, self-absorbed, cowardswho say, its all about me and I dont care about anyone else or who I hurt. A coward cannot take responsibility for

being an originator, they cant hold themselves accountable, and they can only play the victim and blame everyone else

for their poor choices. They are afraid to take a stand, look deeply within themselves, become honest, and make the hardchanges. They are entitled, whiners who complain, moan, and gripe about everything. They dont take initiative but

continue to selfishly take others time, energy, and resources. They become a sponge, draining all the hope, courage, andgoodwill from everyone they meet. Most of them are hurt people who have no problem hurting people. If they are

miserable then others are going to be miserable too, and they are going to feel their pain. They attack anyone who tries to

help them, and anyone who tries to show them a better way becomes their next victim. People, with good hearts and goodintentions, reach out and try to help them out of their dance of insanity, and in doing so they get slapped, kicked, mocked,and scornedthey become the next enemy.

It is known that emotional maturity usually begins at the age of 12 or 13. At this age kids are supposed to stop being sofragile, so needy, and so dependent upon others to meet their needs. At this age children are supposed to become moreaware of whom they hurt or offend, they are supposed to start taking responsibility for their poor decisions and badbehaviors, and start becoming young people of honor and respect. Sometimes its a slow process, but by the age of 15 or16 teens are supposed to be developing empathy, compassion, and a sense of integrity and morality. They are supposed tobecome more caring and self-reliant, more independent and trustworthy. Unfortunately, way too many teens do not growemotionally and are stuck at a pre-teen emotional level. Being 15 or 16 years old but acting at the emotional level a 10year old is very unattractive and unbecoming. But they dont see it, and they think that everyone else exists for their

needs; they treat people like objects, and begin to feel the pressure from their inappropriate behaviors. Unfortunately, theimmature teen looks at all the bad things that are happening to them and sees more stuff to blame on people. Its nevertheir fault, and of course they are the victims and parents become the enemy.

What is the answer? It is so simple. When anyone, teen or adult, understand the concept of the originator and the

responder, and take the position of power (originator) they are able to get up and out of the hole they have dug and stopall the negative consequences they keep receiving. In the place of power, understanding their role as originator, they areable to take responsibility for what they have done to others that caused hurt, offense, and discord. By takingresponsibility they have true remorse.


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They have put themselves into the place of the other people, and felt their pain, and then turn and repent for causing thepain. Simultaneously they authentically forgive the responder for responding so poorly, and take total accountability forthe entire conflict. In effect, they become the leader, the type of leader described in the story of the two gangs in conflict.They take the lead in stopping the dance of insanity. They cast a vision of what it would be like to stop the conflict andheal from the offense. They set their eyes on a better, healthier relationship, and then they are patient as it takes time forfull restoration. This describes a true leader.

For the Abundant Life Academy student leader to fully acknowledge what they have done (inappropriate behaviors, poorchoices, lying, deceiving, being defiant and hurtful, striking out, saying mean and hurtful things, etc.) and forgive their

parents (and forgetting) about anything the parent may have done to bring hurt or offense into the relationship, isemotional maturity and power. Whether the parent was the originator, or the responder, it doesnt matter. The ALA

student leader will step up, and take charge (become empowered), take responsibility, set their sights on a new plan andvision (be accountable), and inspire the parents to do the same. To be successful the teen leader must look deeply withinthemselves and see what damage and harm they have caused, be sorrowful, and yearn for a better moreconstructive/fruitful relationship. Be willing to endure, through leadership, the slow and painful process of restoring arelationship. Hopefully, the parent will join with them, making it a faster and a more beautiful experience.

Students of ALA receive DISC training (personality blends and insights on how to honor all people despite theirtemperaments), EQ training, and the Choice (Leadership and Self-Deception). The ALA students are not only trained, butthey are given the opportunity to apply the training. With it, they are coached as they learn a new way of living. Theyreceive coaching from their peers, and from the staff. They are rewarded greatly for stepping up and caring enough for

others that they become the change agents, the source of inspiration for growth. The ALA student, who learns the conceptof originator and responder, and the leadership application of that particular concept, take with them a powerful tool thatthey can employ the rest of their lives. Additionally, they will be the one who always comes out on top, achieves themost, gets the best job or promotion, and has the most meaningful and rich relationships above all others. This person isattractive, respected, appreciated, and enjoys the best parts of life. They live their lives empowered, capable of dealingwith tough situations, able to overcome hardships, with the ability to lead others to live more fruitful lives as well.

The ALA student who fails to learn this concept is stuck, and bound to repeat all the behaviors that led them to beingenrolled into ALA. Unfortunately, they will have dozens of new people to hate and blame. They will see themselves thevictims of their parents stupidity and unfairness (for enrolling them into ALA). They wont see how their behavior

forced their parents to do something outrageous, like enrolling them into a boarding school for troubled teens. They willalso hate and blame the staff of ALA. They will recall the consequences they received from ALA staff as a victim would.

Even though the consequences were the result of their own negative inappropriate behavior, it will be someone else whois stupid, gay, and retarded. They will paint themselves as someone who was mistreated, uncared for, and punished fordoing nothing. What is really unfortunate is that they take this attitude and belief into the world, where they will becomevictims of their own doing very quickly, but now the consequences hurt, and they are swift. In the real world victims arediscarded, overlooked, and no one cares about there whining and blaming (except other emotionally immature people wholove the company of other victims so they can whine together about how stupid everyone else is). These teens and youngadults find themselves in a world of hurt, all their bridges to family and good people have been burned, and they findthemselves isolated, lonely, disenfranchised, and without hope. The moral of the story is dont be a victim of your owndoing, and grow up!

This week we are going to make a list of all the things we have done to our parents as the originator. We are going to

think deeply, spend time remembering, and while we explore all the offenses and hurtfulness that we have created we are

also going to get into the shoes of those we hurt and offend. So, we are going to write about what it must have felt like fortheir parents to be hurt by them. The students are going to describe at least 20 situations where they were the originators(ungrateful, selfish, hurtful, defiant, and nasty little knuckleheads). In each situation that is described they are going tocome clean, openly admit their wrong, and demonstrate true remorse and sorrow for what they did. They will finish eachof the 20 scenarios by describing what it must have felt like to be their parent. Lastly, they are going to describe how theirparents responded, and distinguish their response as being poor, or appropriate, given the circumstances. Meaning, didthe parents strike back, causing more offense (dance of insanity), or did they respond appropriately. Please read one ofthe four Gospels of Christ (first four books of the New Testament) and be prepared to give an answer about how Jesusresponded appropriately to offense and scorn (hurtfulness) from others.


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Originators vs. Responders: Part III

When most people do something wrong, stupid, or lame, and get caught, they immediately search their brain for ajustification (excuses, blaming, etc). Normally, justification is done after the fact, after the deed is done and the

originator has been caught red handed. Justification is really someone making an argument as to why they have donesomething (bad). It is also something that is made up after being caught, and not a reason why the act was committed inthe first place. For example, if a 16 yr old boy gets caught smoking pot he quickly blurts out a justification, saying,Johnny, Cliff, and Jackson made me smoke pot. However, the truth is that the 16 yr old smoked pot because he likes to

hang with his friend and they love to smoke pot. But after getting caught his excuse is a form of justification, or a lamereason as to why the retarded act occurred.

Romans 5:1-3Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom alsowe have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God.And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance;

When it comes to doing good things we normally justify our actions before we do them. Thus, we think that we have agood cause and therefore we act on our cause, totally justified before we act. As it was stated before, when it comes todoing stupid and lame things, we dont justify ouractions until after we get caught. In this case the justification isactually blame. More specifically, the justification is blame without proper cause. We point fingers, proclaim ourselves

as victims, and our actions are justifiable in our own minds. The first time we find this justification is in the first bookof the Bible (Chapter 3). In the Bible the serpent tempts the woman, and she buys into his deception, even though sheknew the truth, therefore knew the deception. She blames the serpent for deceiving her! But the truth is that she wasdelighted and pleased by the appearance of the apple. She wanted that apple, and it was attractive to her before the

serpent ever came along, and the serpent only sweetened the deal. She wanted what she wanted, and took it. To believethat it is the serpents fault is ridiculous and untruthful. Moreover, the man was sucked into the picture and when he got

caught he blamed God, saying, The woman YOU gave me caused me to do it.

Genesis 3:1-12 - The Fall of Man

Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said to thewoman, "Indeed, has God said, 'You shall not eat from any tree of the garden'?" The woman said to the serpent,"From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat; but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of thegarden, God has said, 'You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.'"

The serpent said to the woman, "You surely will not die!For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes willbe opened and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." When the woman saw that the tree was good for food,and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate;and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate.

Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves togetherand made themselves loin coverings. They heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of theday, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden. Thenthe LORD God called to the man, and said to him, "Where are you?" He said, "I heard the sound of you in thegarden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself." And He said, "Who told you that you were naked?Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?"

The man said, "The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me from the tree, and I ate." Then the LORD Godsaid to the woman, "What is this you have done?" And the woman said, "The serpent deceived me, and I ate."

We are all born with the urge, need, and desire to justify our actions, especially when we are exposed (caught doingsomething stupid). Justification is simple; its a cover up, a shift of responsibility, and a false belief. The Bible declaresthat Satan, before his fall, was the covering of the glory of the throne of God.


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He covered before he fell, as that was his nature. He is still covering now. When we do something we know is wrong wedo in hiding, we sneak, or we do it covertly. We often lie about what we are going to do so that we are not foiled in ourplot. Regardless of what it is, when we cover us our bad deeds, we are doing the very thing that the man and the womandid with the serpent and God. To justify our actions by lying, blaming, or deflecting is also the statement of victimhood, astance of helplessness, and a decree of utter weakness. We dont want to even appear to be responsible or accountable.We often convince ourselves of our own lies, believing that we are victims, when the entire time we know that we arelying to cover our deeds. Insane.

All originators are caught / exposed eventually, and when they are caught justification is the first line of their defense,

using it as a really good deflection, a mechanism to get out of trouble. It is also a childlike fantasy, a delusion, and anattempt to get out of the consequence of the bad act. However, the deflection (justification) does not take away theconsequence, but it does cause the consequence to grow and get worse. The flesh part of us (sinful nature) will alwaysattempt to justify the lame choices we make. Our flesh will always try to cover up our up our bad choices, flaws, faults,and lies. Our flesh, in the attempt to cover ourselves from the poor choices we have made will search out and find ajustification, thus blaming others for what we did.

Romans 5:8-10But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him. Forif while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciledwe shall be saved by His life.

No one likes to be caught or exposed of the bad things we have done. It all started with the Man and the Woman in theGarden. They claim that the serpent tricked them, and it was Gods fault for making the woman. But were they really

deceived at all? Wait, who put the crafty serpent in the garden in the first place? What chance did the man and womanhave against the wiles of the serpent? Well, we can't blame the serpent because God had told the man what he could doand what he couldn't do. The man then told the woman what God had said, but he added a few words to God'sproclamation. The man exaggerated to the woman about what God had declared. Perhaps the man did not trust the womanand he felt compelled to make it worse than what it was to scare her into compliance to Gods orders. But you can't blamethe man because the woman lusted after the fruit of the tree that she was not to eat. She really wanted it, so did the serpentreally deceive her? Did the man back up the woman, or did he blame her when God asked what had happened? Did thewoman take responsibility? What about the man and woman's children, Cain and Abel? Did they follow the ways of theirparent? We know Abel didn't, but Cain did. God asked Cain and Abel to present an offering in a certain way. Abel was

obedient and Cain presented an offering that glorified Cain. Cain did not like being exposed, so he blamed his brother,and then killed him out of anger, feeling justified. These acts were all acts of the flesh, the flesh is the part of us that iswithout God, and it is opposed to God, and in alignment with Satan (hiding and covering up in shame and guilt).

The Word of God has declared something totally different. The Bible declares that Jesus is our justifier, and that we areset free from the guilt of the offense (sin nature). Jesus covered all our sins, redeeming us, and giving us liberty/freedom.Jesus has paid the cost for our sins, and we are saved by His grace (unmerited favor), set free from the death penalty(eternal death). The Bible declares that Jesus has justified us, meaning that as sinners we needed to be held accountablefor our actions (justice), but that He has stepped into our place and took our penalty upon Himself. Jesus declares thatjustice has been served, stating that He stepped in and paid for our unjust acts, thus setting us free. Therefore, justificationis needed; its real, appropriate, normal, typical, and righteous. But our choice is between our own fleshly justification orthe one offeredby Jesus. If our justice or justification comes through our flesh, its bad, and we pay a huge price. If our

justice or justification comes through the Spirit of Truth (Jesus) then we have eternal life and we are not penalized.Moreover, we can grow and prosper in the present day because the justification through Jesus is totally amazing as itpertains to our personal growth.

The Bible has many references to justification, but none better than Romans chapter 8.

Romans 8:30 and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and thesewhom He justified, He also glorified.


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Romans 8:30, declares that Jesus justified us totally and completely, so justice has been served. There is no need to coverup our sins, lie about our actions, blame others for the stupid, retarded, and lame things we have done. When we cover upour lame behaviors we are trying to avoid shame, but we get more shame by attempting to cover them. When we cover upour foolish acts we are trying to avoid guilt and condemnation. When we cover up our dumb choices we are trying toshift the blame to others, making our selves look like victims. Fleshly justification is all ridiculous in the first place,especially when Jesus has set us free, paid our price, and seated us in the Heavenly places (at His right hand while wewere sinners). To receive Jesus as our Lord and Savior is to receive the final justification, the redemption, the freedom,and the glory of eternal life with God. Jesus is the truth, the life, and the way to the Father. It starts with receiving the gifof justification, where we dont have to blame others, we dont have to lie, and we dont have to justify our actions. We

can be honest, real, and truthful, and own up to our poor choices. Thus, making us attractive, respected, and trusted.

Additionally, inherent in our flesh and the fleshly system that Satan set up which is the spirit of performance (Satan wasbanished from heaven and sent to be the ruler of this world. Jesus declared Satan to be the god of this world, our flesh).We are so driven by performance, and our whole lives revolve around performance. We are taught to please our parents,teachers, and all authority figures. As young children we receive the love and appreciation from their parents when we aregood, and we get their wrath (disapproval) when we perform bad. Young children believe that they under pressure to

perform. As they get older and start to fail to perform (fail to live up to expectations) and they disappoint their parents,they begin to cover up their failures so that they dont lose their parents approval and good graces. Soon kids become

comfortable with hiding their transgressions from the parents, thus continuing to receive their parents approval evenwhen they are bad. Kids then push the envelope and start doing things they are not allowed to do, and soon they feelcomfortable being deceptive. Covering up their bad behaviors allows them to look good to their parents and continue to

receive their affection, respect, trust and love, and have a good time cutting lose (drinking, smoking cigarettes, sneakingout, cutting class, having sex, etc.). This works out perfectly until they get caught. When they get caught they lose theirparents love, and then all of a sudden the parents are gay, stupid, and retarded. All of this nastiness is based on our internaland inherent need to justify our actions and behaviors, good or bad. Its our sin nature and it is shown in the man and the

woman in the Garden of Eden.

Jesus came to satisfy our need for justification, thus setting us free from the cycle of sin and cover up. Jesus came to giveus the gift of live by becoming our justification. What does it take to receive Jesus justification and the free gift offreedom? What does it take to become attractive, respected, and trusted even when we make stupid choices? It takesfaith, faith in Jesus Christ, the belief that His justification covers all of our bad acts, stupid choices, and lame acts. Ourfaith in Jesus is putting faith in His grace (paying the price for our sins) and accepting Him as our Lord and Savior,acknowledging that the need for justification will eventually steal everything good. Instead of being like the originator

(man and woman in the garden) we receive Jesus into our hearts and become born again; justified once and for all, setfree from the law of sin and death, and given grace (covering all our flaws, faults, and shortcomings).

Jesus is our example. He came to show us the way. He compels us to follow Him. Jesus never justified his actions orbehaviors. He never defended himself, nor did he blame anyone for his actions. Jesus didnt even defend himself with He

was brought before the Sanhedrin, the Jewish Council, the Roman Governor, or Pontus Pilot. He was being accusedunjustly. Jesus didnt defend himself to Judas betrayal. He never made excuses for himself for any reason. Jesus

allowed God to be His defender and His justification. This gift He gave us is the freedom from fleshly justification. Wecan reject Jesus, and His gifts, and stay with our flesh justification, and keep lying, covering up, and get caught inhumiliation and shame.

This week lets explore the New Testament as it pertains to justification. Be ready to work with Shawn regarding

Originators and Responders, and how they are linked to justification. Both Originators and Responders are equallycaught in the insanity of justification. You can easily see that the Dance of Insanity is caused directly by the Originatorand the Responder as they justify their acts of offense. To let go of the need (compulsion) to lie and cover up our poorchoices allow us to mature emotionally and spiritually. To overcome the need to be justified about our lame and retardedbehaviors is to be successful in every arena of life, to meet our dreams and desires, and to become who we have beendestined to be. It also means that we are respected, loved, supported, and trusted. Below are some of many scriptures thatdefine and disclose the secrets and power of the justification. You already know the justification of the flesh, and how

justifying through the flesh causes so much drama, pain, loss of respect and trust. The justification of the flesh isguaranteed loss and regret.


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Luke 10:28-30And He said to him, "You have answered correctly; DO THIS AND YOU WILL LIVE." But wishing to justify himself,he said to Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?" Jesus replied and said, "A man was going down from Jerusalem toJericho, and fell among robbers, and they stripped him and beat him, and went away leaving him half dead.

Luke 16:14-16Now the Pharisees, who were lovers of money, were listening to all these things and were scoffing at Him. And Hesaid to them, "You are those who justify yourselves in the sight of men, but God knows your hearts; for that which ishighly esteemed among men is detestable in the sight of God.The Law and the Prophets were proclaimed until John;

since that time the gospel of the kingdom of God has been preached, and everyone is forcing his way into it.

Galatians 3:7-9Therefore, be sure that it is those who are of faith who are sons of Abraham. The Scripture, foreseeing that God wouldjustify the Gentiles by faith, preached the gospel beforehand to Abraham, saying, "ALL THE NATIONS WILL BEBLESSED IN YOU." So then those who are of faith are blessed with Abraham, the believer.

Luke 18:13-15"But the tax collector, standing some distance away, was even unwilling to lift up his eyes to heaven, but was beatinghis breast, saying, 'God, be merciful to me, the sinner!' "I tell you, this man went to his house justified rather than theother; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted." And they werebringing even their babies to Him so that He would touch them, but when the disciples saw it, they began rebuking

them.

Romans 2:12-14For all who have sinned without the Law will also perish without the Law, and all who have sinned under the Law wilbe judged by the Law; for it is not the hearers of the Law who are just before God, but the doers of the Law will bejustified. For when Gentiles who do not have the Law do instinctively the things of the Law, these, not having the Law,are a law to themselves,

Romans 3:3-5What then? If some did not believe, their unbelief will not nullify the faithfulness of God, will it? May it never be!

Rather, let God be found true, though every man be found a liar, as it is written, "THAT YOU MAY BE JUSTIFIEDIN YOUR WORDS, AND PREVAIL WHEN YOU ARE JUDGED." But if our unrighteousness demonstrates the

righteousness of God, what shall we say? The God who inflicts wrath is not unrighteous, is He? (I am speaking inhuman terms.)

Romans 3:19-21Now we know that whatever the Law says, it speaks to those who are under the Law, so that every mouth may beclosed and the entire world may become accountable to God; because by the works of the Law no flesh will be justifiedin His sight; for through the Law comes the knowledge of sin. But now apart from the Law the righteousness of Godhas been manifested, being witnessed by the Law and the Prophets,

Romans 3:27-29Where then is boasting? It is excluded by what kind of law? Of works? No, but by a law of faith.For we maintain that a man is justified by faith apart from works of the Law. 9Or is God the God of Jews only? Is He

not the God of Gentiles also? Yes, of Gentiles also,

Romans 4:22For if Abraham was justified by works, he has something to boast about, but not before God.

For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.Romans 8:14

It is our sincere desire that you and your entire family grow in the nurture and admonition of the Lord and that youexperience every blessing that comes from a life lived in and through Jesus Christ our Lord.


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Past IssuesWhat are they? Do you know?

Ephesians 2 - And you were dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you formerly walked according to the course ofthis world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience.Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, andwere by nature children of wrath, even as the rest. But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with whichHe loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you havebeen saved), and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the

ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by graceyou have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that noone may boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehandso that we would walk in them. Therefore remember that formerly you, the Gentiles in the flesh, who are called"Uncircumcision" by the so-called "Circumcision," which is performed in the flesh by human hands-- remember thatyou were at that time separate from Christ, excluded from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers to the covenantsof promise, having no hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who formerly were far off havebeen brought near by the blood of Christ.

What are past issues? Well, if you really want to know dont look to a new student of Abundant Life Academy for the

answers. New students come to ALA because they have no clue what their past issues are. The new student knows allabout his/her past issues, as they can recite them blow-by-blow. However, to know about past issues is not the same

thing as to know them. Everyone knows President Obama, but do they really know him? Only a handful of people cantruly say that they actually know President Obama, and the rest of us only know about him. This is true about pastissues.

If the new ALA student doesnt know what his/her past issues are, meaning at the deepest level he/she has absolutely no

clue what their past issues are, then it is no wonder that they are enrolled at ALA. To not know (in-depth) your past issuesis to be l

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