Facilitation Skills Training

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Welcome to the Groupwork Centre We are delighted that you are joining us for our Facilitation Skills Training. As leaders in group facilitation and collaborative management, our passion is helping people to work well together. We have been at the forefront of providing facilitation, collaborative management and workplace services for more than 30 years. This course provides you with a wide range of practical skills and processes that are easily understood.

A feature of our approach is building emotional resilience, so you can readily apply these skills and processes to the wide range of challenges you encounter in the workplace – and life! Our aim is to help you make the most of the wisdom of those you work with, as well as your own. This is the best contribution we can make towards building a just and sustainable world. Warm regards Ed McKinley Director Groupwork Centre

Table of Contents

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About this course Error! Bookmark not defined.

About the Groupwork Centre 6

About our approach 7

Groupwork Centre’s group facilitation practice principles 9

The role of the facilitator 10

Some characteristics of good workshop facilitation 13

Useful micro-skills for facilitation 14

The Community of SelvesTM 19

Heart listening process 22

Giving ‘hearable’ feedback 24

Creating a group from a collection of individuals 26

A meetings ‘map’ … be prepared 28

From offer to outline 29

Facilitation or Participation Log 33

The World of Facilitation 35

Recommended Reading List 36

Notes 37

About this course High-quality facilitation with good processes can make a great difference to the experience, outcomes and potential of your workplace endeavours. Our facilitation experience consistently demonstrates an 80:20 rule. Good facilitation is 20% good collaborative process, and the other 80% is having the emotional resilience and facilitation skills to ensure those processes help groups achieve their purpose. We often say that this training helps put frameworks around what people already know. A key component is applying skills to the challenges and situations you experience. Your own examples are always welcome in our training. This training draws from: ● Our model of facilitation which has evolved from our experience of offering

facilitation services to groups and organisations over many years.

● Our involvement in the broad realm of facilitation. We are members of the International Association of Facilitation, foundation members of the Australasian Facilitation Network and initiators of the Victorian Facilitation Network.

● The units we have developed for our Advanced Diploma of Group Facilitation, first

offered in 2001. This benchmark course was the world’s first nationally accredited qualification in facilitation.

We look forward to working with you.

About the Groupwork Centre

As collaborative workplace specialists, we are proud to be leaders in:

● Facilitation services ● Facilitation education and training ● Collaborative management services ● Collaborative management education and training

We use our experience in organisational development, management support and facilitation to craft our own versatile easy-to-use collaborative skills and processes. Good processes, well facilitated have an amazing transformative potential. We always work with participants’ 'live' issues. We meld these issues with our input so that people get the practical support they need back at work next day.

Where we come from Originally working in the community sector, our founders left their day jobs to start Commonground Training Resources in 1984. We had two key aims: ● To create a retreat venue in the bush for community-based groups to get away

for training and support ● To provide support for organisations to work well together to maximise their

impact The Commonground Conference Centre was established near Seymour, and today is used to capacity by organisations and groups, with an ever-expanding array of support for people to work well together. In 1999 we brought the workshop/training component of our operation to Melbourne, and launched the Groupwork Institute, the collaborative education branch of Commonground. The intent was to focus more on offering year-long substantial education in a range of collaborative workplace practices – particularly our qualifications in group facilitation and collaborative management. We first offered our Advanced Diploma of Group Facilitation in 2001, and in 2007 it was registered as the world’s first nationally recognised facilitation qualification. We now also deliver a Diploma of Leadership and Management in organisations. As part of our growth, in 2019 we became the Groupwork Centre. As has been the case since 1984, we continue to work closely with Commonground and our work focus remains helping people work well together.

About our approach Fostering Collaboration – Skills for Work, Values for Life Our facilitation approach is based on our experience since 1984 in management, facilitation and workplace training. Our model contains the following core components: Values At the centre of our model are what we hold to be the

core values of facilitation. Practical Principles These are ‘values with legs’ that guide us through the

uncertainties and challenges within our facilitation practice.

Self-Awareness We believe that this is integral to all high-quality facilitation by helping people remain conscious and compassionate – ‘first facilitate or manage thyself!’

Workplace Micro-Skills There are myriad specific skills required in facilitation,

to help people work well together in groups. Collaborative Processes We have developed a comprehensive array of practical,

easy-to-use processes that support our facilitation endeavours.

Groupwork Centre’s group facilitation practice principles

● The wisdom is in the group – trust the group.

● Everyone has a contribution to that wisdom.

● No matter what the purpose, people bring their whole person to a group.

● Wisdom does not necessarily correlate with ones confidence to speak up!

● The group’s experience belongs to the group.

● ‘What happens in the group stays in the group’ – if we are required to speak later to managers not present, individual confidentiality needs to be kept.

● The facilitator is at the service of the whole group.

● Our own self awareness and ‘centredness’ is vital to the functioning and outcomes of the group.

● Everyone has the capacity for insight and transformation.

● There is always diversity in a group – never assume there is not! Everyone has a ‘story’; a particular background and culture, and a vast array of experiences. We DO NOT know this story and are unable to judge or assume from outward ‘signs’

● Participants in a group have a right to choose the depth to which they will disclose, share or work on an issue.

● Groups become an entity, an ‘organism’ in their own right. They have a field and an energy. As facilitators, it is this energy we work with, and therefore must act with the highest degree of integrity and awareness.

● Even when someone in a group has done or said the ‘wrong thing’ or broken an agreement we must not allow them to be shamed.

● At all times in a group there is the spoken and unspoken dynamics, the conscious and the unconscious.

● Regardless of the formal and informal rank or hierarchy within the group, each participant is equally important and their contribution equally valuable. As facilitators, despite different levels of participation, we need to trust that each person has the capacity to say what they need to say, do what they need to do, and to take responsibility for their feelings and behaviour.

● Everyone in the group has a right to have their views and feelings heard and validated.

● We are the stewards of the group process, not the content.

The role of the facilitator As facilitators, our role is to help the group members hear each other, come to understandings, pool their wisdom, make wise decisions and achieve their purpose. A useful way of thinking about this is that the facilitator holds the group and the space in which it meets. Like the conductor of an orchestra, the facilitator ensures that all players are heard, that we strive for harmony and keep to time. The facilitator focuses on both purpose and process:

● The purpose refers to what the group has agreed to discuss or make a decision around. This purpose needs to be clear to everyone and to be owned by the group.

● The process focus refers to the work the facilitator does to ensure the discussion flows well and participation is maximised.

How do you focus on purpose? ● Keeping the group on track – gently checking out with the group whether

something that looks like a sidetrack to you is off the point.

● Identifying and linking common themes – by listening for people saying the same thing in different ways, we can link themes and help prevent the discussion going around in circles.

● Clarifying confusing statements – by reflecting back what you have heard and checking out if this is what the speaker meant, we can help the individual clarify their thinking so the issues become clearer.

● Summarising/organising ideas – being able to succinctly summarise the main points, as you have heard them articulated by the group, is a great skill. It can help clarify where the group is up to on an issue; identify where to focus next and save time.

● Decision identification – in a decision-making process, it is important to recognise when the group seems like it is ready to make a decision. Otherwise, the discussion may go around in circles.

● Testing for agreement – when making decisions, we need to seek specific agreement from the group, with openness to some people still not being up to this point of agreement.

How do you focus on process? ● Getting group permission – it’s important that people clearly understand the role

of the facilitator, and that the facilitator is at the service of the whole group. We need to have permission from the group before we step into the role of facilitator. It is this permission that gives us the right to facilitate the group.

● Ensuring people hear each other – this is especially important when the group is discussing a complex, emotionally charged or controversial issue. It is hard for people to hear each other when we disagree, or there are strong feelings attached. The facilitator can slow things down by naming that this is a ‘big’ topic. The facilitator can acknowledge the content and feelings being expressed or specifically ask other people to reflect back what they hear another person saying.

● Equalising participation – not everyone needs to participate at the same level. However, it is important that the airspace is shared, and that everyone gets a chance to contribute. Sometimes you may need to ask one person to hold on to a point they were going to make in order to give another person a chance to speak or to finish what they were saying. You can also ask to hear from people who have not spoken yet, or occasionally go around the whole group asking for everyone’s thoughts.

● Pacing the session – If the group seems to be anxious about time and is rushing through an item being discussed, you can point this out and invite them to slow down. If the group feels flat or the energy is low, you might ask the group if others feel this lack of energy and if so, what might be causing it. Maybe there is a ‘ghost’ the group is afraid to talk about; you may simply need a break or a quick energising activity. As facilitator, you don’t have to try to work out what is going on; you just need to name what you notice to the group. The group is then responsible for deciding what to do.

● Negotiating time adjustments –- attaching times to each agenda item in a meeting or each segment in a group session can help manage time. The group needs to understand and ‘own’ this and agree if you need to go over time. Everyone must consciously agree if a meeting is to go past the nominated time.

● Identifying and acknowledging feelings – when people express feelings, verbally or non-verbally, associated with an issue these need to be gently acknowledged. This lets the person know that we hear these feelings and that we are OK with them being expressed.

● Naming interpersonal communication issues – when there seems to be some clash or unspoken tension between some people in a group which is affecting the group process, it is helpful to name these so they are brought into the open. Remember, the facilitator does not need to have an answer to the problem. The people involved or the group can work out what needs to be done.

● Handling conflict in the group – probably the number one facilitator fear! The first thing we need to do is get into our Wise One. We don’t need to know what to do about it and it’s not our responsibility to ‘fix’ it. We need to name it (without blame or judgment) and then facilitate the group to decide what to do with it.

● Soliciting feedback – it is useful to seek the group’s feedback from time to time during a meeting or group session, especially if things seem flat or off track. It is not a sign of failure to check with the group how things are going. It is all part of being at the service of the group. Experienced facilitators need to do this too. Sometimes as the facilitator we can get a bit lost with the process or recognising where things are up to. Some people in the group are bound to have their head around it!

● Evaluation –- every group meeting should end with an evaluation. This helps everyone in the group take some ownership of the group process. It informs us as facilitators so we can learn from the feedback and take this into account next time. It also helps prevent people going away from a session with unexpressed feelings about the session.

Some characteristics of good workshop facilitation ● A passion for collaborative processes ● An understanding of how power is wielded and an ability to equalise power within a

group ● Positive regard for the participants ● A trust in people’s ability to learn, grow, change and take responsibility for

themselves ● Personal ‘centredness’ and empowerment, self-awareness and ability to remain in

one’s ‘adult’ state. ● Ability to listen deeply – to enable full understanding ● Ability to read the group feeling and to have the flexibility to respond ● Recognising, incorporating and building on people’s knowledge and experience ● Integrating the feeling component associated with the content ● The creation of a feeling of safety in the group ● An awareness of the many forms of diversity that could be present in any group ● Ability to make the complex and profound simple, including the use of clear

examples ● ‘Pacing’ and balancing the material and activities ● If a presentation is required, presenting clearly with creativity and variety (but not

too gimmicky) ● Thorough planning (but with flexibility), organisation and evaluation ● ‘Performance’ ability, personal confidence and presence ● Appropriate humour and the ability to engender some lightness and fun ● Ability to admit when you have made mistakes ● Openness to take aboard feedback ● Capacity to reflect on the work

Useful micro-skills for facilitation There are a number of skills we need to have to be good facilitators. Many of them we already use in other aspects of our work. However, as facilitators we need to hone them and become more conscious of how and when we use them. In our year-long Advanced Diploma of Group Facilitation, we identify and teach 40 key facilitation skills. The following is a list of key micro-skills we focus on in our training.

Self-awareness It is most important to be conscious of what is happening for us. We need to facilitate with our inner space clear of fears and judgments. By remaining conscious, we can often use our feelings about what is happening to check out with the group how things are going. We need to remain aware at all times of our own feelings and reactions, keeping certain parts of ourselves under control. For example, the part that: ● wants to push people along ● needs to fix the group’s problem or ● worries about what would happen if things got out of control

Listening to understand As facilitators we need to be able to deeply listen to people to enable us to understand and honour their particular experience. This requires us to listen to the content and the key points being made, but also to listen to the feelings. These feelings may be expressed explicitly, or may be implied through body language, gestures or small comments. We often call this heart listening, because we are not simply listening with our ears!

Validating To validate is not to agree or disagree, but to deeply hear, reflect back and honour the fullness of what a person has said. We validate both the content of what is expressed and the feelings, spoken and unspoken. Validation is part of high-quality heart listening. What we are saying with validation is:

‘I hear you” ‘I understand’ ‘It makes sense what you are saying’ ‘I can see it from your point of view’.

Normalising It can be very powerful and helpful for people to have their feeling or experience affirmed as quite common, or ‘normal’. Often people haven’t actually realised that a lot of others experience similar feelings. As facilitators, it is very powerful for us to say ‘yes that is quite a common experience’, or ‘that happens a lot’. We must be careful with normalising that we do not take over the participant’s story with our own or another’s story.

Building on people’s experience We need to be able to honour the wisdom and experience people bring to groups. This means that when groups are facing challenges, you may need to ask them how they successfully handled similar situations in the past. It is the role of the facilitator to hear and validate these experiences and synthesise individual wisdom with group wisdom.

Summarising and clarifying Good clarifying and summarising by the facilitator is a powerful skill in group facilitation. It reflects back to the group where they seem to be up to with the issue and helps make the next steps clearer. Identifying common themes that link or group what has been expressed can help organise the group’s ideas and help them develop their own solutions.

Noticing and naming Being absorbed in their issues, people are often not aware of all that is going on for them. It can be helpful to notice what you see and hear and feed it back without judgment: ● ‘I notice that your hands are clasped very tightly’ ● ‘Your foot is tapping ....’ ● ‘I’ve heard you say ‘it’s too hard’ several times during this discussion – what does

that mean ...?’ This is another way of holding a mirror up to the group to look for themselves at what is going on and therefore come to their own awareness, developing insights and – through these – their own learning.

Wondering Along with noticing and naming, our gentle questioning and wondering can be helpful in group facilitation. ‘I noticed X Y & Z’, ‘I wonder if AB & C might be going on?’ Wondering is more subtle than direct suggestion and leaves the group free to wonder about it themselves and to pick it up or let it go. Wondering is also useful if we have a suggestion to make that we think may be helpful. Rather than giving that suggestion directly, we can offer ‘I wonder what would happen if we tried X or Y?’

Sitting with hot spots In facilitation, we need to be confident to ‘sit in the heat’ with people dealing with a range of issues from chaos and confusion, through conflict to strong feelings of anger or pain. Such hot spots can bring up a lot of issues for us as facilitators, with our own inner voices interfering with our ability to respond wisely. We may feel fearful about things getting out of control. We may want to rush in and rescue the individual or the group, provide them with just the right solution to fix their problem. However, it is wisest for us to try to simply hold the space. This allows the expressions of strong feelings, for people to be heard, to validate them, and then to allow the person to move on from that space.

Naming ghosts Ghosts are unnamed events or feelings – important things we are not talking about. They usually remain ghosts because of fear about what will happen if we do name them. Ghosts can loom rather large and take up a lot of space in a group, making progress difficult or even impossible. The first thing we need to do, is to manage our own fears about the ghosts and then gently have a go at noticing them, so that they may be named and cleared away.

Poking around Poking around is the Groupwork Centre term for a combination of a number of our micro-skills: naming, noticing, questioning, feeding back, reflecting and finding out more. ● ‘What happened when ...’ ● ‘how did you feel’ ● ‘I noticed this’ ● ‘I heard you say that’ and even noticing things that are very subtle such as: ● ‘I get the feeling that this is uncomfortable for you to talk about’ ● ‘What’s that about?’ Sometimes we know that something important is going on in a group which is not yet being named. By gently asking key questions and poking around we can help uncover feelings or issues important to the process.

Defining purpose Any group facilitation session needs to begin with a clearly defined and owned purpose.

Defining our role People can have different understandings of the role of the facilitator. We need to clarify our role at the start of any session and emphasise that we are ‘at the service of the group’.

Responsibility for the group It is important as facilitators we don’t set ourselves up as the ‘ultimate expert’ and ‘controller’ of the group. Checking your perceptions, ‘wondering’ about what is going on, or simply admitting you don’t know what to do next is helpful. It ensures the group shares responsibility for the process and outcomes. A key trap for facilitators is picking up total responsibility for getting through whatever the group is undertaking. The group can unconsciously hand this over to the facilitator. If we unconsciously pick it up, we have placed ourselves in a parent role and will behave as such. Correspondingly, the group drops into a child role.

Participation We need to be aware of everyone who wants to contribute to a discussion. We need to watch and check that people who want to speak get a chance, while not forcing people to contribute. We need to be able to get the wisdom of all. Thus we can pool and link wisdom to build better outcomes.

Pacing Keeping groups on track Noticing and pointing out when they seem to go off on a tangent. Checking with the group – does this feel off track or is this an important sidetrack we consciously want to explore? Are we managing the time well?

Pacing energy This means watching and feeling the group energy and checking this out with the group. Are we getting too tired to keep going? Do we need a break here?

Helping people hear each other We can never overestimate the power of getting people to listen with their heart, not just their head. To listen until there is understanding (not necessarily agreement) is the key to much of the ‘magic’ of group transformation.

Standing by During particularly powerful moments or hot spots we need to support people who are expressing what is difficult to say in the group, while also standing by those for whom it is difficult to hear. Remember that everyone is important!

Say more This is an important micro-skill to assist people in developing their ideas and getting them heard by others. All too often in group discussions, people launch into a response to what someone else is saying before they have actually heard the full content of the idea. We are often anxious to jump in with our own thoughts or a counter argument to what we think is being said. It is the ‘Yes, yes I hear what you’re saying, but …’ syndrome. Training ourselves to use the Say more micro-skill can lead to far clearer communication.

Scanning the group This refers to regularly keeping an eye on the whole group, to see how everyone is travelling. It is especially required when the focus may be particularly on one or two people. It is easy to focus our facilitation attention just on the 'hot spot', the loudest voices or where the action is in the group. However, others can be affected even if they are not in the thick of the action. We need to scan the group to see how they are going too. They may need to be reassured, or ways found for their inclusion.

Stop Sometimes, when conflict or other hot spots are happening in a group, we need to interrupt and stop the process. This must be done wisely and without any tone of judgment, shame or blame. It is useful to cushion the Stop with some other micro-skills such as validation or normalising. We might say, for example: “Just let me stop you for a moment. I can see this is a very big issue and it’s not surprising there are lots of strong feelings. Let’s take a breath and have another go.” Or “Just hang on a second; there are a lot of people talking at once right now. I know this is a hot topic and everyone has strong opinions, so let’s slow it all down a bit.” If there is strong conflict we may need to be quite strong (and maybe even loud!) with our ‘Stop’. The stronger our Stop needs to be the more cushioning required so that it doesn’t have a ‘put down’ edge to it.

The Community of SelvesTM

The unconscious at work This framework helps us understand what we know intuitively – that there are many aspects of ‘self’. It resonates with the confusion and feeling of being ‘torn in different directions’ that we all feel from time to time. ‘On the one hand I feel X but on the other hand ....Y and then again …’ We all bring with us our own internal ‘group’, an inner community of different selves. How many selves really are there in this group? Many more than it appears! Groupwork Centre co-founder Glen Ochre developed this model of self-awareness because she was unhappy with existing models that were based on complex ways of looking at ourselves. No model had the three components Glen felt were needed:

1 It was easily and quickly accessible for people from all walks of life, and encouraged self-compassion – a way of looking at ourselves that was helpful and not too turgid. 2 It rejected the concept of good and bad selves. It is hard enough to love the different parts of ourselves, but it is a lot harder if some of those selves are labelled as bad. Glen wanted a model that saw that every part of us as having a gift to offer. 3 Avoided putting people into pigeonholes, as this makes it harder for people to believe they can change.

Since developing these models, Glen discovered other modern psychological theorists who have expressed concepts such as Voice Dialogue by Hal and Sidra Stone, and Arny Mindell’s process-oriented psychology. Many of these parts of ourselves are locked in the unconscious. Banished there because they were deemed unacceptable by society and people close to us while growing up they have long since become unacceptable to us or ‘forgotten’. Jung called these our shadow selves – the feelings and parts of our personality that we have repressed, disowned and pushed down into that place where not even we are consciously aware of their existence most of the time. We usually have fairly clear dominant players in our community of selves™. They are the most acceptable parts of ourselves or the parts that have been most useful to help us cope with our damage. Favourites seem to be the ‘logical self’ who sees everything in plain reason and fears the ‘feeling selves’ lurking in the shadows. Then there is the ‘responsible self’ who is always careful, sensible and takes responsibility for everything (and sometimes everyone!) The ‘nice’ or ‘good’ self is a popular frontrunner, always helpful and kind and avoids upsetting people at all costs. Sometimes ‘self-destructive’ or ‘supercritical’ selves are dominant. This is especially the case when people have been damaged from various forms of abuse.

The dominant ‘selves’ have a strong vested interest in holding down the shadow selves that have powerful feelings to the contrary. For example, imagine how awful it would be for the responsible self if the carefree ‘selfish’ one broke out and started demanding ‘stuff everyone, what about me!’ The ‘nice self’ would be fearful of the ‘angry’ one who wants to express feelings that are not nice. The ‘logical’ one can’t stand any of the other selves feeling anything. Feelings are dangerous and just cloud the issue! All the dominant ones conspire to keep at bay (at any cost) the unacceptable voices from the unconscious. They run the show! Under the surface, lurking around in the murky waters of the unconscious live the banished unacceptable selves. Classics to be found there are the angry selves, the wounded sensitive, needy unloved, fearful children; the ‘little’ ones. We may find the selfish one and the teenager irresponsible one. Sometimes there are very self-destructive, self-loathing, super critics to be found in this underworld. Then there are the attention-seeking ones who look for some reassurance that the little ones are lovable. Not that they believe it when they do get such reassurance from others!

All our selves play into or attempt to offset each other in an intricate dance. Imagine how elaborate and complex this dance can become in the context of relationships when we multiply all the selves of all the players! We believe that, fortunately, there is a ‘wise, self-loving’ one at the centre of our inner community – our own inner facilitator. A deep knowing self that is able to take into account all the inner selves, listen to and love them all and make wise decisions. A wise inner group facilitator! For us this is like an inner being who has collected, through some genetic memory, all the deep and multi-dimensional wisdom of our forebears. We are not speaking of some outer guide but a beautifully self-loving wise part of ourselves. Hidden as it may become from time to time, this is the part of us that sees our goodness, believes in our potential and deeply knows what is best for us. An analogy we often use is that of our ‘community bus’. All our other selves are part of us and have important voices to be heard and taken into account, but the wise one must remain in the driver’s seat. We can easily go off on some less that wise sidetracks when one of the others takes over! All of us have wounded selves, collected from our life journey. We believe that for the process of healing we need to reclaim these wounded ones; the banished, unacceptable, fearful and unloved. It is the work of the wise one to acknowledge, hear and love these parts of ourselves. We encourage you to explore, uncover, map and reclaim your own inner community and to do so with a healthy degree of play. For it is through knowing ourselves in this way that we will gain the skills and techniques to help others do the same. We are the total of these selves; the beautiful and the less savoury. As we travel this path, they are waiting for us to claim them, to love and accept them and bring them into the fold, to welcome them on the bus. There will be pain as we listen to what some of them have to say and feel their buried feelings. But there are also the gorgeous ones to be heard; the clever ones, the funny ones and the incredibly wise one. Enjoy!

Heart listening process Let us learn to listen deeply, not just with our ears, but with our hearts. We are searching for a special revelation about how others feel and think about this issue – why they hold the views they do, how they put the picture together. For this time we need to suspend our own feelings and views knowing we can assert our right to have a turn to be heard. We do not need to agree with what is being said – we just need to listen with our hearts and seek to understand how is it for them.

Steps for heart listening Prepare ● Prepare our heart – mentally and emotionally preparing to temporarily put

aside any of our own issues, reminding ourselves of the principles of listening and ensuring that we have the time and space to listen

● Find an appropriate time and non-distracting environment ● Assume a posture of involvement – letting our body reflect our willingness to

hear ● Make sure we engage in eye contact

Heart listening ● Openness of posture ● Gentle encouragement to keep the other going – ‘go on’; ‘I’m listening’; ‘mmm’

with occasional nods of the head ● Infrequent questions and then only questions of clarification or open-ended

questions – ‘what happened then?’; ‘how did you feel about that? ● Say only what is necessary ● Attentive silences

Showing we have really heard the speaker ● Reflect in our own words how the other seems to be feeling – ‘sounds like you

feel really angry (upset, hurt, let down) about this’ ● Summarise and paraphrase in the content of what is being said, checking we

have heard it right – ‘So you’re saying …’, ‘for you it’s …’ ● Focus on the most important points – making sure you have HEARD the major

concerns and if necessary getting the other person to isolate them, while also acknowledging that all they have said is important – ‘there sure is a lot on your plate at the moment, what do you think is the most important for us to tackle’

● Reflect back meaning – tying the speaker’s feelings to their content ● Listen until the speaker feels heard

Listening Stoppers – be aware of them ● Inability to temporarily put aside our own feelings ● Arguing back with logic or denial

● Judging and jumping to conclusions ● ‘Brick-walling’– putting up a wall between you and the speaker so that nothing

gets through ● Putting in one’s own story ● Agreeing or disagreeing ● Reassurance ● Solving or jumping in with advice

Giving ‘hearable’ feedback It is hard enough for people to hear positive feedback, so no wonder we find it difficult to give and receive critical feedback. In our experience this is the micro-skill that many people find most difficult and deserves a section of its own.

Why is it so difficult? No matter how well or ‘constructively’ it is presented most of us have an emotional response to criticism. There is a notion that we can hear criticism of our work without ‘taking it personally’. This seems to be a myth. Even though we know theoretically that we are not being criticised ‘as a person’, when our behaviour or work performance is criticised we do ‘take it personally’.

Hearing feedback Criticism plugs quickly into our unconscious ‘selves’. Our inner critic may hear the feedback as confirmation that we have failed. Our ‘defensive self’ may want to argue back as if under attack. Our ‘fearful child’ may fear dire consequences or fear losing the supervisor’s approval. It is an unconscious minefield! It is vital therefore as managers, supervisors and as team or group members that we become highly skilled at giving critical feedback in a manner that maximises its ‘hearability’.

Giving feedback As the givers of critical feedback, many of us are fearful also. Our ‘controlling self’ fears it might get out of control. Our ‘righteous self’ may want to tell them off, the one who seeks approval may feel they won’t like us … and so on. So we need to learn to give feedback and to hear it when given to us. To make a message ‘hearable’ it needs to be specific, about behaviour and free from assumptions and judgments about the behaviour. It is best delivered in ‘I’ language, and requires an honest ‘bed’ of inquiry, listening and acknowledging. See the feedback daisy, as it has become known on the following page.

Our Hearable Messages diagram is on the next page.

Creating a group from a collection of individuals We believe that all people have a deep yearning to belong to a group, yet we are mostly socialised to develop and protect our individuality. This often leads us to keep hidden much of our true selves, and results in the kind of isolation that is almost universally spoken about, written about and sung about in Western culture. Groups hold the tantalising possibility of fulfilling our need to belong, along with the terror of exposing our true selves. Unlocking and working with all this is what makes for the magic of groups. Some groups never get past the collection of individuals stage. When stuck in this stage, much of the ‘groupwork’ remains individual work in a group setting, and the ‘magic’ that is possible is never tapped. This potential lies hidden behind a barrier the group imposes – often unconsciously – to keep itself safe by not taking any risks.

Safety People often speak about the need to feel ‘safe’ in a group. What do they mean? A collection of individuals becomes a group by taking risks and the ‘sky not falling in’. At first these risks may simply be asking a ‘simple question’ or sharing one’s story. If these risks are held and heard well, people go on to take bigger risks such as expressing a very different opinion to others in the group. Much depends on how we as facilitators meet these risk-taking events and how we include then in our design, allowing people to take small risks to start ‘breaking the ice’. Firstly we must recognise them as such, and then use the appropriate micro-skills when we respond to participants taking risks. From our experience, safety is about being valued, respected and above all heard in a group. People deeply fear being exposed. We fear the ‘true selves’ we try to keep hidden will be seen by others and found wanting. At some deep level all of us fear being judged and rejected. On the other hand, there is another deep layer of longing, for our ‘true selves’ to be seen, known, accepted – and to be loved. In the establishment phase of groups, it can be useful to name all this in a light and simple way. There is some relief when one’s unspoken, or even unrecognised fears, have been named by the group facilitator. It is worth seeking a commitment to try to listen with our hearts to each other, and to welcome all ideas – along with other agreements about how we will be together. Perhaps most importantly is the facilitator’s modelling of deep heart listening. At the earliest opportunity we need to welcome and validate the thoughts and feelings of all members. From the start we are trying to establish clear group norms about everyone having wisdom to contribute from their experiences. To do this well, we need to let the group

know that all feelings are valid, that there are no ‘stupid ideas’ and that by pooling our wisdom we will have a fantastic group. The power of listening with the heart (as opposed to the head) to what people are saying is always amazing. It has to be sincere of course, not the kind that uses a few techniques picked up from a textbook. Done genuinely this is magic itself. Perhaps what we all want most is to be truly heard. In this un-listening world, it is one of the greatest gifts we can give. This is because it is only then that people can begin to let go of their original positions and ready themselves to pool and synthesise collaborative ways forward. Often, in groups that model this type of listening and the validation of people’s feelings and experiences new members will begin to follow suit. Then generally, people begin to feel safer to speak from their ‘true selves’ and to take the risks to expose feelings or ideas previously kept hidden. As these are welcomed, heard and validated (not necessarily agreed with), it adds to the richness and potential of the group.

Belonging Belonging comes when people have built up some experience in the group of their thoughts, feelings and ideas being validated and incorporated into the group’s life story or work. It becomes ‘our’ group when people know that they have contributed to the creation of how the group works, what it does and the body of the group’s wisdom. Without safety and belonging, people will not take the necessary steps through the terror into the wonder and excitement of group experience. This group energy, the ‘magic’ comes from the synergy of people’s exposure of their ‘true selves’ and from the realisation that these are not only acceptable, but valued. Then there is the level of appreciating one’s own inherent deep knowing and the wonder of pooling this wisdom to help create great outcomes. Good facilitation is about raising the group energy and working with its power. It involves deep listening, validating, linking people’s experiences, pooling wisdom and illuminating the moments of greatness. This is the magic of groups at work.

A meetings ‘map’ … be prepared

Before the meeting ● Have pre-assigned facilitator(s), minute taker and timekeeper. These are best

rotated

● Have a system for collecting agenda items – so all may participate in contributing issues to the agenda

● The facilitator is responsible for agenda formation

● Prepare a detailed agenda with time allocations so it’s clear what the item is about

● Ensure the agenda is available well before the meeting or have an agreed way to form an agenda together at the start of the meeting

● Ensure that everyone knows the time and place

● Choose a comfortable environment – prepare the space

● Develop a group culture that values and respects these meetings and expects punctuality and good organisation

Into the meeting ● Start on time

● Have a simple centering activity – eg. a minute of silence with some nice music

● Start with a ‘catch-up’ where everyone briefly shares how they are

● Look at the last minutes

● Consider a segment for announcements only

● Review agenda, or if necessary build an agenda – make sure everyone accepts it

● Prioritise items – if there are changes reassign times

● Make agreements about times or any other arrangements as necessary

● Work through each agenda item adjusting times by agreement if needed

● Record all decisions and important announcements. For decisions, have an IMPLEMENTATION recording system:– record WHO is to do WHAT, by WHEN.

● Leave time for a brief evaluation (eg. 10 minutes) of the meeting – what did we do well and not so well?

● Finish on time. (Consider a post-meeting treat!)

From offer to outline We need to be very clear about negotiating and planning our facilitation work – from the initial offer to facilitate, through to outline planning, and reflection after the session. Always allow time for thorough planning.

Step 1 – Get a clear brief beforehand ● What is the overall purpose of the group you are to facilitate? ● What type of group is it – task-oriented, mutual support, psycho-educational etc. ● What is the aim of the session/s you are planning? If for example you are an

outside facilitator and the aim of the session seems unclear – eg. “Team building” some questions that can help clarify this are: o What has led the group to want this session? o Has there been a precipitating event? o Is there conflict or unrest? o Who’s idea was it?

● If negotiating with a manager or a representative of the group, how do the others in the group feel about having this facilitated session? This is especially important when facilitating conflict resolution or other ‘tricky’ issues. We need to know that at least people are willing to participate in the session, even if they don’t feel optimistic about it.

Step 2 – Should I do this facilitation? It is important that we do not just say ‘yes' from one of our enthusiastic but unconscious selves. We need to make a considered wise decision based on all the information, constraints, resources, our skills, time allocated, organisational and participant willingness and support and so on. What might be the constraints? ● Is there enough time being allocated to meet the session’s aim? ● Do you have the skills required? Should you have a co-facilitator? ● Are there diverse expectations of the session? ● What are the participants’ previous group experiences? ● Language challenges

If we say yes, we may need support ● supervision ● skill input ● co-facilitation ● debriefing ● check outline with a peer

Venue Negotiate venue details with the group or contact person. It is important that the venue is suitable for the particular group, the purpose and for the creation of comfortable, safe and supportive space. Consider: ● privacy ● neutrality – away from workplace if possible ● temperature control ● natural lighting ● comfortable seating if possible ● quietness ● enough space for a circle of chairs (without tables!) and any activities you may

facilitate

Step 3 – Consider the stages of a group session Beginning It is crucial to lay a good foundation for the work of the group. The following segments should be considered: ● centring ● introductions – self, group ● catch up/sharing ● permission to facilitate ● validation of the group ● what we mean by facilitate ● agenda review ● check aim of day ● ‘earn the right’ to facilitate ● agreements ● fears and hopes ● highlights of past 12 months ● a skill/gift we bring to the group ● what’s gone well and not so well in last 12 months ● stories ● remembering … ● affirmations of group – what do I like about us?

Middle This is where we undertake the body of the group’s work for that session. How might this be best achieved? What material, exercises or processes might be most suitable? Link these to the overall purpose and type of group, plus the aim of that session. Plan, but be prepared to change it as the process unfolds. Make sure there is balance between activities/input, head/feelings and that you are always validating and building on people’s existing experience and wisdom.

The following segments should be considered: ● clarify business of the day ● background to issues ● what has happened to date ● what we are trying to achieve ● list issues – prioritise ● take issue, o pool experiences on issue o synthesise wisdom o make decisions (even if provisional)

● take next issue … ● mapping – keep people informed of where you’re up to o what we have achieved o what is left to do

End A time to gather and reinforce what has been learned; work out what needs to happen next, celebrate the individuals and the achievements of the group, and end the session clearly and in a way that honours the session. This will be of more or less depth and significance, depending on how long the group has been going and the intensity of the experience. We also need to allow enough time to evaluate. This demonstrates our accountability to the group; gives people a chance to give their feedback rather than carry it with them unsaid. It is a very important phase of the group and needs to be given the space it deserves.

The following segments should be considered: ● where to from here ● who will do what by when ● affirmations of achievement ● affirmations of individuals ● recommendations from facilitator ● taking today’s work to others ● what have we learnt ● what might people do to help breathe life into today’s work ● evaluation ● gems, highlights/key learnings from today ● how are we feeling now our time together is ending? … name that the end is

nigh! ● ending ‘ritual’ or activity

After the session

It is important to always build a specific time after each session for personal reflection and an evaluation of the content and process. Debriefing with another party may also be helpful, particularly if it has been a difficult session. Our own written evaluations are great learning tools – to be effective, it needs to be done soon after the session.

Step 4 – Drafting the session outline Firstly establish the overall aim of the session or series of sessions. Then if planning a series of sessions you may start with a broad outline of the aspects you need to cover in each session. You can then do finer detailed planning session by session in light of developments in the group.

Letting your creativity flow, brainstorm a first draft of your outline with all the segments that could be covered in the session, the purpose of that segment, and the methods you could use to achieve that purpose. Don’t worry at this stage about overall times, or whether it all fits together. Following is an example of how you may layout your draft for a session.

Segment

Purpose Method/s

Introductions to help people get to know each other and feel comfortable with each other

• Name game with ball

• Story sharing with hats

• Nature object sharing

Using your ‘facilitation wisdom’, look at this brainstormed outline in light of purpose, time, type of group and any other constraints or parameters.

Step 5 – Prepare the outline Draw up an outline that can be checked with participants at the session. The contact person or organising group may want to see a draft at this stage. Help them to avoid getting bogged down into too much fine detail at this initial planning stage. Let them know that you will check it again at the start of the session.

Facilitation or Participation Log Name Date Organisation Session type Length of Session Number of Participants Your Role _ Purpose of session Preparation – what preparation did you do and how did you feel before the session What happened – and how did you act, feel and respond? (What was going on in your Community of Selves™?) What were the group dynamics at play?

Facilitation Micro-skills used – (by yourself or by the facilitator) What were the lessons – what would you do differently? Follow up – is there any action that needs to be taken? Co-facilitation – if relevant Your overall evaluation

The World of Facilitation Australasian Facilitation Network

The Australasian Facilitators Network is an 800-strong self-organising community of practice that has been meeting since 1998. The Network connects via a moderated e-List. To join elist: afn-l@lists.scu.edu.au AFN website: http://www.afn.net.au The network holds an annual conference – we encourage you to participate – it’s an inspiring event. www.afnconference.org.au

International Association of Facilitation This association has also being going since 1998. There are chapters and conferences around the world. There is an Oceania Chapter, which covers Australia. www.iaf-world.org/index.aspx

Recommended Reading List

Bens, I (2005). Advanced Facilitation Strategies Jossey-Bass

Bolton, R (1986). People Skills Prentice Hall

Hogan, A (2002). Understanding Facilitation Kogan Page Limited, London

Hunter D, Bailey A & Taylor B (1994, 2007). The Art of Facilitation

Hunter D, Bailey A & Taylor B (1997). Co-operacy: A New Way of Being at Work

Hunter D, Bailey A & Taylor B. (1992). The Zen of Groups: A Handbook for People

Meeting with a Purpose. Tandem Press, Auckland.

Mindell, A (1995) Sitting in the Fire: Large group transformation using conflict and

diversity Lao Tse Press, Oregon

Ochre, Glen (2013). Getting Our Act Together Groupwork Press

Schuman, S (2005). The IAF Handbook of Group Facilitation Jossey-Bass

Schuman, S (2006). Creating a Culture of Collaboration Jossey-Bass

Schwarz, R (2002). The Skilled Facilitator and The Skilled Facilitator Field Book

Jossey-Bass

Notes

Notes

What Else Do We Do?

Having been at the forefront of collaborative workplace education and training since 1984, there is a wide range of services the Groupwork Centre offers. Management ● Supervision and Performance Management Short Course, in-house or public

course ● Collaborative Management Short Course, in-house or public course ● Support for managers – professional supervision and coaching

Facilitation ● Advanced Diploma of Group Facilitation. This is the world’s first nationally

recognised facilitation qualification and still the highest level qualification in facilitation available anywhere in the world

● Facilitation Training Short Course – in house or public course ● Facilitation Services – when you want a skilled outside facilitator for complex

meetings, strategic planning, big or tricky decisions] or conflict resolution

Training Since 1984, we have developed a range of in-house training that people tell us they are still using years later. The following are frequently requested topics: ● Facilitation Skills ● Building Emotional Resilience ● From Conflict to Collaboration ● Collaborative Decision Making ● Collaborative Leadership ● Dealing with Challenging Encounters - not difficult people! ● Teamwork - Getting Along at Work ● Challenging Encounters ● Facilitating Great Meetings ● Taking Care of Ourselves ● Supervision and Performance Management ● Time Budgeting

We can also craft training around any related topic to meet your specific needs.

Commonground Training Resources This is the organisation that gave rise to the Groupwork Centre. It offers:

● A beautiful bush conference venue for groups and organisations to get away for time out and work together. It is near Seymour, 95km north of Melbourne.

● Regular gatherings for folks to enjoy the company of kindred spirits, while helping to look after the Commonground facilities.

● Commonground Social Change Festival is held biannually in November. Find out more Our website has more details: www.groupwork.com.au Contact us Email: enq@groupwork.com.au Phone: 9443 8500