Experiencing Intimacy with God

EXPERIENCINGINTIMACY WITH GOD

WWe all know howinclined we are to

wander or even torun from God. We often getdistracted. And sometimes wepush thoughts of Him aside.

In picking up this booklet,however, you may also beshowing that deep down youlong for God—to know Him, to love Him, to experience Him, to trust Him.

In this excerpt of RadicalReliance: Living 24/7 With GodAt The Center written by JoeStowell, we’re given words ofcounsel from a longtime pastorand Christian leader about howto experience intimacy withGod. I’m confident his wordswill be renewing for all of us.

Martin R. De Haan II

CONTENTS

Expectations Of Intimacy With God . . . . . 2

Intimacy With God Is A Process . . . . . . . . . . 3

Five Myths About Intimacy With God . . . . . 6

Five Truths About Intimacy With God . . . . 17

Great Expectations. . . . 21

Drawing Close To God . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25

Managing Editor: David Sper Cover Photo:Terry BidgoodScripture taken from the New American Standard Bible, ©1960,1962,1963,1968,1971,1972,1973,1975,1977,1995 by The Lockman Foundation, La Habra, Calif. Used by permission.This booklet is based on a portion of Radical Reliance: Living 24/7 With God At The Center by Joe Stowell, published by Discovery House Publishers, a member of the RBC Ministries family.© 2006 RBC Ministries, Grand Rapids, Michigan Printed in USA

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EXPECTATIONSOF INTIMACY WITH GOD

IIf you’re reading thisbooklet because you areexpecting intimacy with

God to arrive as a blast ofthe Spirit that will cover you24 hours a day for the restof your life with an eternalseason of ecstatic praise,warm feelings, and tangiblechumminess with theAlmighty God of theuniverse, then this is goingto be a disappointment toyou. In fact, if these are thehopes and dreams of yoursoul in your search forintimacy with God, then myguess is that you probablywon’t even make it to thelast page.

Our longing for intimacyneeds to feed in the pastureof biblical reality lest welook for more than God has promised. What doesHe tell us that we can truly expect as we search

for intimacy with Him?Expectations are

everything. If we expect our spouses to be home at a certain time for dinner,and they aren’t; if we expectour teenage son to comehome early enough so thatwe can use the car to makeour tee time, and he doesn’t;when we expect friendshipto be pleasant, rewarding,and uncomplicated, and it isn’t; when we expect to receive that raise, thatbonus, that promotion, and we don’t—we inevitablyfeel disappointment, thendiscouragement, and finally despair if the brokenexpectation is big enough.

Some time ago, I waschatting with a couple of ournation’s leading Christiancounselors. I asked them ifthey were to make a list ofthe most prevalent rootproblems in people’s lives,what would be on it?Without pausing they bothblurted out, “Bitterness.

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Copyright 2006 RBC Ministries

It’s on the top of the list.”They went on to say thatbitterness often is rooted in ill-defined expectationsand a misplaced point ofultimate trust. If we expect life to be nice; if we expect people not to use, manipulate, ignore,misunderstand, or abuse us; if we expect somethingoutside the span of reality—then it’s inevitable that ourdreams will becomenightmares.

INTIMACY WITH GOD IS A PROCESS

FFinding satisfaction,sustenance, and

security in ourrelationship with God is a process. Too many of us have become discouragedin the pursuit of God byexpecting that the productwill be ours quickly and that the experience will be in line with our expectations

of what it ought to be.What can we realistically

expect? The first task in thepursuit of intimacy with God is to deal with thedisconnectedness that keepsus far from Him. This is ourresponsibility. God looks forrepentant, radically relianthearts in which to set up Hisresidence.

The next step is startingon a pilgrimage toward Godby being routinely faithful tothe realities that trigger anexperience with His fulfillingpresence. When we arefaithful about the process of connecting to God, He isconsistently faithful aboutfulfilling us in His time andin His way. Each of us willexperience Him differently.And He will respond to us differently at differentseasons and intervals of life. The consistency andconstancy of His reality inour lives will be a lifelonggrowth experience.

Intimacy with God must 3



not be defined in terms of its experiential elements.Experiences are toosubjective, varied, andindividualized to nail downas universal scenarios ofintimacy. God doesn’t meetall of us in the same way—emotionally, intellectually, or spiritually. Each of usperceives things in a uniqueway. If we define intimacyby what it looks and feelslike, we will inevitably bedefining it as one individualsees it, thus setting up otherpeople for disappointment.When we read biographiesof Christians or hear peopletell of close encounters they have had with God, we shouldn’t try to frameour own experiences tomatch theirs. God meets us where we are and notwhere someone else is.

While none of usexperience God in preciselythe same way, all of us docome to Him by way of thesame road map. We do the

process; God responds withan individualized product.In fact, this is what Scriptureteaches us when we are toldto “draw near to God andHe will draw near to you”(Jas. 4:8). That is a processstatement.

I remember talking with a quality-control expert about his job as a consultant to some of the leading industries inAmerica. He told me thatthe key to quality controlwas to create a process thatwas effective and efficient. Ifthe process was right, theproduct was guaranteed. It was the process thatguaranteed the product.

Good processes depend on clear definitions.If our definitions are notright, the whole process will be misdirected andmisunderstood. Intimacyrequires a clearunderstanding of what it is, what it is not, and how to know if we are

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indeed tracking toward God.What is the operational

definition of the process that keeps our soul turnedtoward God? The pursuit ofintimacy is an intentionalcommitment to take stepstoward God and, in theprocess of that Godwardmotion, to grow more deeplyconscious of, connected to,and confident in Him aloneas the only source to satisfy,sustain, and secure.

The pursuit of intimacy is a process that is intentional. It is aprocess in that it is a lifelongadventure with increasingmeasures of satisfaction andmeaning. It is intentional inthat no one is zapped intointimacy; we must beactively focused on the pursuit.

The pursuit is a non-negotiable commitment onour part to actively apply the principles that God hasgiven us and to patientlyand persistently build our

lives around them. Theseprinciples include:• a repentant turnaround

in attitude and action;• a repudiation of self-

sufficiency that leads to aradical reliance on Christ;

• a conscious connecting inongoing communication;and

• a connecting with Him increation, in His characterand conduct, in worshipand praise, in crisis, andin faithful obedience.A commitment to these

principles empowers myconsciousness of Christ, my connectedness to Christ, and my confidence in Christ. The pursuit of intimacy with Godembraces a way of life that increasingly fills mysoul with the satisfaction,sustenance, and security of His presence. The pursuitof intimacy is about growingmore deeply connected toChrist as the ultimate source for all that I need.

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FIVE MYTHSABOUTINTIMACY WITH GOD

WWhile it’simportant to

have a definitionof the pursuit of intimacy asour starting point, we shouldnot allow myths that distortour perspective to sabotagethe process. Part of definingdeals with clarifying what is not true as well asembracing what is true.

MYTH #1: Intimacy isprimarily about whatHe will do for us whenwe get close. The processof intimacy should never be motivated by what Godmight do for us but rather by our desire to do what we can for Him.

In 1985, thechampionship for the EastDivision of the AmericanLeague came down to onegame at the end of the

season. Frank Tanana was on the mound for theDetroit Tigers and pitched a brilliant game to bring histeam to victory, 2 to 1. I stillremember seeing the pictureof Frank, arms lifted inecstatic celebration, on thecover of the next day’s USAToday and reading all thepraise of the press for whata great pitcher he was.

Several days later Frankpitched in the AmericanLeague championship series.If the Tigers could clinch thischampionship, they wouldadvance to the World Series.But Frank didn’t do as wellthis time. In fact, the Tigerslost the game and ultimatelythe series. This time the talk was all about Frank’sless-than-spectacularperformance.

At the time, I was Frank’spastor. A few days after thegame I asked him, “How doyou deal with being a heroone minute and the bad guythe next?” He said to me,

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“Joe, I learned something along time ago about baseballfans. They all live by themotto ‘What have you donefor me today?’ That’s all thatcounts.”

Later I reflected on hiscomments and realized thatsame attitude characterizesa lot of us as God’s people.When we think aboutintimacy, it’s easy toenvision it in terms of,“What has God done for melately?” We tend to validateHis reality and measure thequality of our relationship to Him by what He is doingfor us at any given momentand by the frequency andintensity of His interventionsin our lives. Is there any oneof us who hasn’t assumedthat the reality of God and the quality of ourrelationship to Him aremeasured by how manytimes He drops into our livesand does something goodand spectacular?

When this is our

expectation, we quickly growdisinterested, discouraged,and even dysfunctional inour walk with Him. In myown life I’ve often feltcheated. If I hear someonetalk about the marvelousintervention of God in hislife and how spectacularGod has been for him, Ibegin to wonder why Godnever does anything likethat for me.

Do you ever feelabnormal—spirituallyabnormal—because God justdoesn’t seem to be doing alot for you? Have you everfelt a lack of spiritual self-esteem, as though maybeyou’re not all that importantto God? Or have you ever feltas though He might well bethe God of our fathers but issurely out of the office in ourgeneration? It’s kind of likeLewis Carroll’s Alice InWonderland, where thecomplaint is lodged: “Jamtomorrow, and jam yesterday,but never jam today.”

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I think that’s why a lot of us are seduced byanything that is spirituallyexperiential. If the recipecomes in the guise ofChristianity, even if it’swildly exotic, we flock to itso that we can sense thatGod is doing something“real” for us. Rather thancontinuing faithfully to takethe routine steps towardGod in our pilgrimage, wewait by the side of the roadlooking for a holy handout.It’s always easier to opt forthe quick hit, the rush ofspiritual adrenaline, than tofocus on the long haul.

Rangers in YellowstonePark tell us that in spite ofall the signs that say “Don’tfeed the bears,” people areconstantly doing just that.As a result, rangers have to pick up dead bears in the woods that die fromstarvation because touristsweren’t there to feed them. If there are no handouts for2 weeks, the bears die. And

to think that the woods arefull of nourishment! Thebears could have gottenbusy doing what they werebuilt to do, but instead theydied because they tried toget by on the easy handouts.

We are like those bears.God has provided anabundance of things for usto feed on if we are trackingtoward Him through prayer,Bible reading, fellowshipwith other Christians, andpracticing the commands ofScripture. If we are faithful,none of us is going to starve.In fact, our spiritual hungershould drive us to seek outmore of the good things ofGod. He calls us to be fedand nourished by Him atthe core of our beings, yetwe keep looking for easy,quick hits of His presence. Itmakes me wonder if heavencontains signs that say,“Don’t feed the Christians!”Intimacy is not about holyhandouts. It is characterizedby steadfast faithfulness.

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We can see this truththroughout the life ofAbraham. God motivatedhim to leave Ur of theChaldees with a whole list of promises (Gen. 12).Abraham obeyed God eventhough he had not yetreceived the promised son.When Sarah got too old to have a baby, she and Abraham were veryconfused about God’s will.They even tried to fulfill His will through their ownmaneuverings. Yet Abrahamcontinued to worship Godand track toward intimacywith Him. God kept Hispromise, and Isaac wasborn. Later, when God toldAbraham to sacrifice Isaac,Abraham was faithful to thecommand and was willing toobey. God again kept Hispromise by sparing Isaac’slife. Abraham committedhimself to the process of obedience, and Godintervened time after time with a new and

deeper level of intimacy.It’s easy to think we

would all be faithful if Godintervened in our lives theway He did with Abraham,but we forget that the storyof Abraham covers decades.The recorded interventionsof God into Abraham’s lifeaverage about one in every15 years. Think about going15 years without having aBible, with no indwellingSpirit, without spiritualfriends, and not hearingfrom God. Yet Abrahamlived a life of steadfastfaithfulness to God.

When Joseph was 17years old, God gave him adream that someday hewould stand in such greatauthority that even hisbrothers would bow to him.But that’s the last dream hehad from God for manyyears. In the meantime, hisjealous brothers ganged upon him and sold him as aslave. His owner’s wife tried day after day to seduce

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him and eventually falselyaccused him of attemptedrape. He was sent to jail,where he helped out a guywho promised to repay thefavor but then forgot abouthim. Yet Joseph stayedfaithful to God.

God could have appeared at any time and bailed Joseph out of aproblem situation, but Hedidn’t. Instead, He workedbehind the scenes, silentlyarranging the time whenJoseph would emergehumbled and refined. Joseph was ready to bewonderfully used by God,and God delivered him.Joseph’s simple, steadfastfaithfulness led to power inhis life (Gen. 41:39-45).

Job was clueless aboutwhat God was doing in hislife. I find it interesting thatGod never explained that thedevil was actually behindJob’s sufferings (Job 1:1–2:6).But after Job exemplifiedsteadfast faithfulness, God

intimately revealed Himself and helped Jobresolve the conflict of hissoul (38:1–40:2; 40:6–41:34).

The willingness to servefaithfully while waiting toreceive God’s promises isnot limited to Old Testamentcharacters. Paul knew whatit meant to remain steadfastin the midst of difficultcircumstances. He wrote:

We are afflicted in everyway, but not crushed;perplexed, but notdespairing; persecuted, butnot forsaken; struck down,but not destroyed; alwayscarrying about in the bodythe dying of Jesus, so thatthe life of Jesus also maybe manifested in our body(2 Cor. 4:8-10). In the same context he

added: We look not at the things which are seen, but at the things whichare not seen; for the things which are seen aretemporal, but the things

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which are not seen areeternal (v.18). In essence, Paul was

saying that our lives shouldbe driven by the reality ofeternity to come, not byhere-and-now experiences.

We may think thatChristianity is about Godpleasing us, but Paul makesit clear that our ambition inlife should be to please Him.That is the essence ofauthentic Christianity. Godrarely invades our lives withdramatic interventions. Andwhen He does, it is not onlyfor our benefit but to reveal

His glory through us (1 Chr.16:9-10). While it’s true that God loves to begenerous and gives us many good things, we have to remember that when it comes to the majorinterventions, He managesthe agenda.

Romance requires our steadfast faithfulness—as well as our charm,personality, money, andeverything else—to finallywin the day. But as youlearn to put the other personfirst, you discover the joy ofwhat love is all about. Youwon’t know the thrill of anintimate relationship untilyou faithfully pursue theother person.

So it is with ourrelationship to God. In the pursuit of God we areresponsible for routinefaithfulness. Eventually thereward will come. Intimacyis about faithfulness nowand fulfillment then—inGod’s time.

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We may think that Christianity

is about Godpleasing us,but . . . our

ambition in lifeshould be to please Him.



MYTH #2: Intimacy is about an informalbuddy-buddyrelationship with God.There’s no doubt that animportant element of ourrelationship with God isbuilt on the fact that HisWord welcomes us to callHim “Abba! Father!” (Gal.4:6). When we are close tosomeone, we are usually ona first-name basis. Christtells us that we are no longerslaves but friends (Jn.15:15). Yet there is far moreto an ongoing relationshipwith God than backslappingchumminess. Intimacy withGod is about being struckwith His grandeur andmajesty. We need to standwith reverent hearts in awe at the thought of arelationship with Him.

Think of it this way. IfChrist were to walk into theroom while you were readingthis booklet, what would youdo? When my wife Martiegets lost in a book, my only

hope is to say, “When youcome out of ‘book world,’ Ihave a question I want toask you,” which usuallyelicits a distant, audiblenoise that registers as anacknowledgment of myrequest.

But none of us would belost in “book world” if Christwalked into the room.

Some of us might thinkwe would get out that list ofquestions we always wantedto ask Him. Others of usimagine jumping up andthrowing our arms aroundHim and thanking Him forsaving us. Perhaps the moreexuberant types envisiongiving Him a high five for allHe is and all He has done.

I can assure you that ifChrist walked into the roomwhile you were reading thisbooklet, none of the abovewould occur. We would fallflat on our faces before Him, feeling phenomenallyundone, exposed, unworthy.Thankfully, He would come

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near, lift us up, and tell usnot to be afraid. By Hisgrace He would welcome us into His presence that we might know the joy ofHis fellowship. But ourrelationship with Him wouldalways be marked by asense of awe and respect,even when we enjoyedsweet moments of closefellowship with Him.

MYTH #3: Theexperience of intimacyis the same for all ofus. The expectation of auniversal standard for anintimate relationship withGod usually falls somewherebetween highly chargedemotional experiences anddeep, quiet personalencounters at the depth of the soul. While both arevalid ways in which we canexperience intimacy withGod, it’s dangerous to tryto pour ourselves into themold of someone else’sexperience.

I’ve always beenintrigued by thetemperament and thepersonality differencesamong the disciples. Thebreadth and mix of theirdifferences guaranteed thatnone of them experiencedintimacy with Christ in thesame way or at the samelevel. There was Thomas,who was highly cognitive,wanting to analyze andreason everything through tohis full satisfaction. Therewas Peter, who was quick,verbal, and aggressive. Andthere was John, who wassoft, warm, and mellow.Some of us will experienceintimacy with Christ as acognitive and intellectualexperience, as it probablywas for Thomas. Others ofus will experience intimacyin the emotional side of our beings. People fromdifferent cultures anddifferent backgrounds andwith different personalitieswill experience Christ in a

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wonderful variety of ways.What we will have

in common, as we havealready learned, will not bethe nature of our experienceof intimacy with Christ butthe process through whichwe move toward thatintimacy. If we are toencourage one anothertoward deeper, moremeaningful experiences with God, we should notflaunt or promote our ownexperiences as the standardbut rather help one anotherstay in the process.

MYTH #4: We canexperience the fullnessof intimacy with Godin the here and now.It is vitally important toremember that God’s Wordtells us, “Now we seethrough a glass, darkly; butthen face to face” (1 Cor.13:12 KJV). We will neverknow the fullness of the joyof unhindered intimacy withGod on this side of heaven.

Our limitations are toosevere.

We are encased in bodies and have minds that are still affected by theFall. After Eden, sweat andfatigue became a way of life.The physical state of ourbodies affects our minds and emotions. When we are drained of energy, weexperience God’s presencein far different ways thanduring times of strength and vitality. If I had theopportunity, I would spendlarge blocks of time sittingon a cliff overlooking thevast expanse of His creation, walking throughthe countryside, or lettingmy eyes plumb the depthsof the starry universe aboveme. The problem is, thosetimes are few and farbetween.

I try to carve out time in the mornings just tospend with God. But after a wonderful time of readingHis Word, praying, and

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meditating on Him, I haveto throw myself headlonginto the busyness of my day. God is still there to help and encourage me, but my day with its routinesand challenges clouds thespecialness of those quietmoments at the beginning of my day.

Yet my work is part of myresponsibility to serve Him.We all were put on earth todo more than experience His presence in quietcorners. Now is not thestage in life to spend all our time in contemplativesolitude. The world aroundus needs to hear about Him.Hurting people need help.Despairing neighbors needthe encouragement that onlyGod can provide through us.Our employers need a goodday’s work from us.

Not being able to sensedeep intimacy with God allthe time should motivate usto live for the day when wewill see Him face to face.

Soon enough, the baggage of our fallenness, the pressof life’s responsibilities, willbe lifted from our backs, and the cares of this life will evaporate. In thetwinkling of an eye, we will find ourselves in aneternity where the primepreoccupation will be to enjoy unhinderedintimacy with Him. Forever.

MYTH #5: We canexperience intimacywith a partiallysurrendered life. Theexperience of true intimacywith God does not requireperfection, but it doesrequire that we be fullysurrendered. Full surrendermeans that we live with anattitude of unlimitedobedience. Though we mayfail, an immediate responseof repentance that refuses tolet us become entrenched inour failure will keep us onthe path toward Him.

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It would be hard tobelieve that we could haveintimacy in an earthlyrelationship in the fullest,most rewarding sense if wewere living in continuingoffense toward the one withwhom we were seeking todevelop intimacy. Manymarriages suffer a loss ofintimacy because one of thepartners has ceased to beloyal. Lying to or cheatingon a spouse, ignoring theother’s needs, using the relationship for yourown benefit when it’sconvenient, and neglectingresponsibilities when it’sconvenient are allprescriptions for a quickdistancing between twohearts.

So it is with God. Allthrough Scripture, Godrequires that we give Himthe totality of our beings.We are to love the Lord our God with all our heart,strength, and mind (see Dt.6:5; Mt. 22:37; Mk. 12:30).

In the letters Christ wrote tothe churches in the earlychapters of the book ofRevelation, it was theirongoing, undealt-with sinand shortcomings thatshortchanged theirrelationship with Christ.

We cannot expectintimacy when we live likethe person who said:

I’d like to buy threedollars’ worth of God.Please, not enough toexplode my soul ordisturb my sleep, but justenough to equal a cup ofwarm milk or a snooze inthe sunshine. I don’twant enough of Him tomake me love a blackman or pick beets with amigrant. I want ecstasy,not transformation. Iwant the warmth of thewomb, not a new birth. I want about a pound of the eternal in a papersack. I’d like to buyabout three dollars’ worth of God, please.

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FIVE TRUTHSABOUTINTIMACY WITH GOD

PPushing the mythsaside clears the way

for the process of ourprogress toward God to take hold. It opens arealistic door to knowingand experiencing Him atnew and rewarding levels.

I think I have a majorstarch deficiency in my lifebecause I’m passionatelyaddicted to things likepotatoes, rice, and pasta. I can’t get enough of them.If Martie is away for anevening, when she returnsshe will inevitably ask mewhat I had for supper whileshe was gone. I have to tellher I just boiled some pastaand put a little butter andsalt and pepper on it. Shejust looks at me inamazement.

What is more amazing to me is that often, when

I’m full of pasta, I still wantmore.

That’s like the wonderand joy of growing towardintimacy—we can never get enough of Christ. It’s anever-ending, increasinglyrewarding process. To helpencourage the process, hereare five truths that replacethe distracting myths aboutintimacy with God.

These truths help us formrealistic expectations aboutintimacy.

TRUTH #1: Ourprimary purpose in life is to embrace thetranscendent God byfaith and to worshipHim in purity andservice. This life-focus is adirectional thing. Intimacy isnot about God doing thingsfor me. It’s not about Himmaking me feel good. It’sabout this: I embrace thetranscendent God of theuniverse and pledge toworship and serve Him, no

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matter what happens. Whenthe arrows of my passionsand worship point from meto Him, I’ve successfullyreversed the direction of my expectations. And as Iworship Him with the purityof my life and the service ofmy hands, I can say withJob, no matter whathappens, “Though He slayme, I will hope in Him”(13:15). Intimacy begins by giving self away. It givesself to God as the ultimategift of our love.

TRUTH #2: Godintervenes in dramaticways only periodicallyand selectively formajor purposes in His kingdom and the blessings of Hispeople. That ought to beenough for us. It should besufficient to hear about or tosee God’s work in somebodyelse’s life and say, “Isn’t thatjust like my God? I love tosee God busy!” Instead, we

tend to feel sorry forourselves and complain,“That never happens to me.Why isn’t God busy aboutme?” We should learn torest and rejoice in the factthat God does marvelousthings in others’ lives, andthat if our need ever getsdramatic enough or ourplace in His plan ever getsstrategic enough, He’ll dosomething dramatic for us aswell. Until then, we need tobe forever grateful for Hisdaily presence; His quietwork behind the scenes; His grace that is sufficient;His mercy that stays Hisjudgment; and heaven.

TRUTH #3: God hasalready done more forme than I deserve. IfGod never does anythingmore than redeem us—cancel hell and guaranteeheaven—if He never doesanything more than that, Hehas already done more thanwe deserve. That ought to be

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enough to launch me inpraise and worship for therest of my life.

Think about it. God has already dramaticallyintervened in a major way inour lives when He openedup the story of the cross tous and bid us come by thepower of His Spirit. Whenwe embraced that ruggedcross and felt the weight ofour sin leave us and werewashed by His cleansingblood, it was enough—morethan enough to keep ourhearts lovingly grateful.

TRUTH #4: God isprobably doing a lot of things for us that we don’t even knowabout. These may not bebig, dramatic things, butGod’s Word teaches us thatHe stands like a sovereignsentinel at the gates of ourlives, keeping out anythingthat is more than we canbear (1 Cor. 10:13). He letsin only those things that He,

by His power and with ourcooperation, will turn to Hisglory and gain and to ourgood. Paul declares inRomans 8:28, “We knowthat God causes all things towork together for good tothose who love God, tothose who are calledaccording to His purpose.”

Why then do we put ourhead on the pillow at nightand murmur, “Where wereYou today, God? You didn’tanswer my prayer. Nothingbig happened. The day wasflat and dull.” Instead, weshould say with hearts fullof gratitude, “Lord, thanksfor being busy in my lifetoday in ways I don’t evenknow about. You, by thepower of Your angels, haveprotected me from theenemy who sought todestroy me. And thanks for the assurance that, asthe sovereign sentinel at thegate of my life, what You didlet in today, You promisedthat by Your power You

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could turn to glory and gainand good.”

We have to rememberthat God is a lot busier inour lives than we think. Forus to go around thinking thatHe doesn’t do much for uscontradicts the reality of Hismarvelous grace that is inour lives 24 hours a day:guarding, keeping, excluding,insulating, protecting, andblessing.

TRUTH #5: WhenGod thinks ofintimacy, He thinks of a heart relationshipwith us. We’re like kids atChristmas begging, “Give methe gift! Give me the gift!”and forgetting that it’s out oflove that the gifts were givento us by our parents. Ofcourse our parents love togive and bless us with gifts,but what they really want is a love relationship withus. Intimacy is about arelationship, not a giftexchange. When we live

expectantly, serve Himpurely, slow down andspend seasons on our kneeswith His Word in prayer andmeditation, He fills our soulswith Himself.

God doesn’t meet us atthe mall. He seeks us in theinner sanctum of our hearts.If it’s intimacy we want, weneed to be more intriguedwith the Giver than the gifts.It’s not what He does for usthat we should be loving; it’sGod Himself. If we want toexperience Him more thanwe do, we need to love Himmore than we do—morethan all those other thingswe are attracted to, morethan all the provisions weexpect from Him.

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If it’s intimacy we want, we

need to be moreintrigued with the

Giver than the gifts.



GREATEXPECTATIONS

FFrom the Old Testamentto the New, Scripture

is about God’s personal,prioritized agenda forrestored fellowship and arewarding relationship thatsatisfies the longings of oursouls and glorifies Him.

A successful pilgrimagetoward intimacy not onlydemands that we replacefaulty or unbalancedexpectations with truthfulones, but that we askourselves, What can weexpect?

We can expect that Godhas promised to provide forus in our relationship withHim. Scripture suggests at least three attainableoutcomes of a deepeningpersonal relationship withHim: (1) He will satisfy oursouls; (2) He will sustain ourlives; and (3) He will secureus even in the face of greatdanger.

Nowhere are theseoutcomes more clearlydefined and demonstratedthan in the familiarShepherd Psalm of David,Psalm 23. Let’s examine that psalm, thinking abouthow we can attain theseoutcomes in our experiencesof intimacy with God.

The Lord is my shepherd,I shall not want. Hemakes me lie down ingreen pastures; He leadsme beside quiet waters. He restores my soul; Heguides me in the paths ofrighteousness for Hisname’s sake. Even thoughI walk through the valleyof the shadow of death, Ifear no evil, for You arewith me; Your rod andYour staff, they comfortme. You prepare a tablebefore me in the presenceof my enemies; You haveanointed my head withoil; my cup overflows.Surely goodness andlovingkindness will follow

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me all the days of my life,and I will dwell in thehouse of the Lord forever. Note the dynamics of the

relationship. It’s not betweenequals; it’s between aShepherd and His sheep.Sheep are radically relianton the shepherd. Little BoPeep’s consultant waswrong: Sheep don’t find their way home if you leavethem alone! They require a shepherd to provideleadership, provision, andprotection. The shepherdconsistently tends thesheep—sometimes at greatsacrifice to himself.

What does the shepherdprovide? The shepherd is asource of satisfaction for thesheep. We need to forgetabout our lists of want-to’sand hope-so’s and dwell onwhat we really need. Thetrue test of satisfaction is to be able to say with thepsalmist, “I shall not want.”Contentment doesn’t meanthat we won’t have a desire

for additional commoditiesor better relationships. Itmeans that those desiresdon’t drive and manage ourlives. It means that we allowGod to be the provider whilewe are content with Him.The psalmist paints thispicture of satisfaction: “Hemakes me lie down in greenpastures; He leads me besidequiet waters. He restores mysoul.” Note the satisfyingcomponents of provision,peace, and recovery.

If you’ve ever walked thehills of England or spenttime where sheep are part ofthe agrarian economy, youknow that there are fewpictures of contentmentclearer than the psalmist’spicture of sheep that, thoughthey sometimes wander,never intentionally run awaybut find themselves fullysatisfied in the care andprovision of their shepherd.

To be content is to besatisfied with God.

The picture of God’s22



securing work is reflected inthe psalmist’s response tofacing his enemies in thevalley of the shadow ofdeath. He testifies that Godhas made him so secure thathe can dine in the presenceof his enemies and fearlesslywalk through the valley ofdeath if that were necessary.Why? Because God is withhim. The reality of His rod(protecting work) and Hisstaff (rescuing and guidingwork) secure the psalmist.

The presence of Godbrings with it all that God is.He doesn’t leave pieces andparts of Himself behind. Heblesses us with the fullnessof His partnership in ourlives. His presenceguarantees His protecting

power, His sovereigndirection, His unsurpassedwisdom, His tender lovingcare, and His justinvolvement in our lives. Tobe afraid, to permit fear toshadow our souls, is to denyHis presence. Yet, embracingby faith the reality of Hispresence convinces us thatHe will fully secure us—regardless.

The final verses conclude with God’ssustaining work. Thepsalmist’s peace whiledining in front of hisenemies reflects the pleasure of being sustainedby Him. He speaks of God’ssustaining work in his life as an overflowing cup, and then he marvels that the goodness andlovingkindness of God willfollow him every day of hislife. The psalmist celebratesultimate sustenance as heanticipates that someday he will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

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To be content is

to be satisfied with God.



We know that intimacy isworking when we can saywith David, “The Lord is myshepherd, I shall not want.”When we can honestly saythat we really don’t needadditional things to besatisfied, sustained, andsecured, then we will knowthat we are a long way downthe road toward connectingintimately with the God whooffers all of Himself to us.

Satisfaction with God isbeginning to take hold whenwe cease being driven anddefined by earthly thingsand begin to long forspiritual realities. Paulaffirms this dynamic in his own testimony inPhilippians 4:10-13.

I rejoiced in the Lordgreatly, that now at lastyou have revived yourconcern for me; indeed,you were concernedbefore, but you lackedopportunity. Not that Ispeak from want, for Ihave learned to be content

in whatever circumstancesI am. I know how to getalong with humble means,and I also know how tolive in prosperity; in anyand every circumstance Ihave learned the secret ofbeing filled and goinghungry, both of havingabundance and sufferingneed. I can do all thingsthrough Him whostrengthens me.When we find our all in

Him, our lives will be markedby an unshakable confidencethat lies beneath the surfacetremors of our daily activities.This is the confidence thatonly comes when we areconnected to the fact that He will be all that He saysHe is; that He will be therefor us, whether we feel it or not; and that He cannotdeny either His character orHis promises. This sense ofintimate sustenance comes tothose who by faith connectto a God who will neverleave them or forsake them.

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This security that comeswith intimacy with God ismarked by an undauntedsense of courage. We willsay with Paul:

Who will separate us from the love of Christ?Will tribulation, ordistress, or persecution, orfamine, or nakedness, orperil, or sword? Just as itis written, “For Your sakewe are being put to deathall day long; we wereconsidered as sheep to be slaughtered.” But in all these things weoverwhelmingly conquerthrough Him who lovedus. For I am convincedthat neither death, nor life, nor angels, norprincipalities, nor thingspresent, nor things tocome, nor powers, norheight, nor depth, nor anyother created thing, will beable to separate us fromthe love of God, which isin Christ Jesus our Lord(Rom. 8:35-39).

DRAWING CLOSETO GOD

IIhave to confess that I am technicallychallenged. Several years

ago when we moved into anew home, I bought a wholenew stereo system. I lovemusic—I love it loud, I loveit soft, and I love it big. Ilove it all the way across thecontinuum—jazz, blues,light rock, country, pop, andclassical, depending on themood I’m in. I love it all. Sowe bought a stereo with allthe sophisticated nuances of volume, balance, andtone. Excitedly, I broughtthe boxes home andunwrapped the pieces ofdigitized equipment. Therethey were—wires andeverything. Halfway into theproject I was in the prenatalposition, curled up underthe kneehole of my desk,weeping, with cords tangledaround my body! I just don’tget technical stuff.

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I think we’re a lot likethat in a spiritual sense. Godhas created, redeemed, andgiven us all we need for anintimate relationship withHim. And though we haveall the equipment we needto connect to all the beautyand harmony of His glory tobe pumped through us, wenever quite seem to get itfigured out. Spiritually, weare connectedly challenged.

Intimacy with Godrequires that we connectwith Christ. This “pluggingin” has a pattern and asequence to it. Having allthe wires is not enough.Applying them correctly inall the right places is whatmakes it work.

CONNECTINGTHROUGH PRAYERAND THE WORDHow do we connect? I canhear you thinking, Here wego again. I’ll bet he’s going totalk about reading the Bibleand prayer! You guessed it—

it’s at the top of my list. How else do we think we will connect intimatelywith God unless we are in a pattern of ongoingcommunication with Him?

It’s like the old story ofthe woman who dragged herhusband to the counselorand complained that henever said he loved her. To which the surprisedhusband turned to his wifeand said, “Hey, when we gotmarried I told you that Iloved you, and if that everchanges, I’ll let you know.”

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How else do we think we will

connect intimatelywith God unless

we are in a pattern of ongoing

communication with Him?



Marriages don’t evermake it all the way tointimacy without ongoingloving communication. And Christians don’t make it to intimacy withGod unless they haveestablished regular patternsof communication with Him.

When it comes tointimacy with God, absencedoes not make the heartgrow fonder. It makes itgrow more distant. Seasonsof absence from communingwith God in prayer andthrough His Word make sinand self-sufficiency strongerand reentry difficult andchallenging. Not only do weget out of practice, but also,having been apart fromdivine input, we developsystems of independenceand patterns of thought and behavior that areimmediately challenged byreentry. Intimacy requires a steady pouring out of ourhearts in praise to God and prayer and the steady

absorbing of His Word intoour hearts.

Reading, meditating on,and studying the Bible iscritical to connectedness.When is the best time to bein God’s Word? For some, itis in the morning. For others,it’s midday. For others, thebest time to be with Godmight be 11 o’clock at night.Whenever it is, we need togive Him our best time. Andwe need to be careful not tomake it a legalistic thing. Ifwe miss having time withHim one day, we shouldn’tfeel guilty about it, becauseintimacy with God is morethan a half-hour discipline.It’s a daylong continualwalk. But if we miss our timewith God for 3 or 4 days, wemay be in trouble.

Two psalms wonderfullyillustrate the importance inour lives of connecting toHis Word and prayer.

Psalm 1. Here we readof the satisfying, sustaining,and securing work of God’s

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Word in our lives. Thepsalmist tells us that whenhe has delighted in the lawof the Lord instead of livingin the counsel of theungodly, his life has beenlike a tree planted by therivers of water that bearsfruit in season and whoseleaves do not wither.Whatever he undertakesprospers. The contrast to theungodly is clear. In theiraloneness they are like thechaff—the worthless outersheath of a kernel of wheatthat is left to blow away inthe wind.

The word for thecondition of those who losethemselves in the Word ofGod is blessed. The psalmistbegins the psalm by saying,“Blessed is the man.”Blessed because heexperiences the satisfactionthat comes from a well-ordered life of a Word-ledperson. It is the blessing oflives that have meaning andpurpose, that are clean and

organized, that are driven by systems that ultimatelysatisfy. The choice in thispsalm is clear. We find ourlives being influenced eitherby the godless world inwhich we live or by theWord of God that enablesus to live an abundant life.

Psalm 13. This psalmspeaks to the stabilizingsatisfaction that comeswhen we pray. At thebeginning of this psalm, the psalmist is lost indespair. He complains thatGod has forgotten him andleft him in a disastrousenvironment (vv.1-4). Butthen the psalmist turns hisheart toward God (v.5). Bythe end of this brief psalm,God has not delivered himbut instead has satisfied his soul in the midst of thedistress (v.6). The psalmisthas experienced one of themost meaningful aspects ofprayer: not the answers toprayer, but the way in whichprayer opens heaven for us

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to see God realistically andlose ourselves in a deep andunshaken confidence in thecharacter of God. Thepsalmist closes this psalm,having transitioned fromdespair to delight,exclaiming:

I have trusted in Yourlovingkindness; my heart shall rejoice in Your salvation. I will singto the Lord, because Hehas dealt bountifully withme (vv.5-6).

PERSONALAPPROACHES TO PRAYER AND BIBLE READINGI have found severalapproaches to be helpful in connecting with God inmy times of personal Biblereading and prayer.

Bible Reading. First, I must read the Word as apersonal encounter withGod. For me it cannot bejust an exercise in readingthrough the Bible in a year

or making sure I read achapter a day or any othersystem I am trying to fulfill.Connecting with God inScripture is just that—connecting personally withGod. Each encounter mustsearch for something fromHim to me that is relevant tomy life. I find that I need toread until He has spoken tome in a substantive way. If itcomes quickly, I may notneed to read further, thoughI may wish to read on. Andif it takes more time than Ihad planned, I need to keepin the Word until there hasbeen a ministry to my soul,heart, and mind.

Then I find that it isimportant to capture theministry in a way that I cantake with me through theday. Writing the conceptdown and putting it in mypocket, in my money clip, or in my briefcase so that I am confronted with itthroughout the day is a bighelp in keeping the issue

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alive in my heart.Sometimes memorizing a key verse or making it a brief and memorableprayer that I can lift beforeHim throughout the day is a help as well.

Second, I find it helpfulto read God’s Word in termsof its intended purposes.This aligns me with whatGod wants to do in my life.He has told us that HisWord is . . .• A Mirror: Therefore, I

need to read to see myselfas I really am in the lightof what the text is saying.

• A Seed: I permit the Wordto be implanted deep inmy heart and thenenvision what the fruitwill be if I water andnurture it with care.

• A Sword: The two-edgedkind that pierces throughall the externals andreveals the deepestsecrets and motives. In this metaphor it isessential to let the Word

cut where it will and to honestly admit andsubmit to its surgery.

• A Lamp: It gives guidanceand direction in thedarkness of life.

• Bread For My Soul: I needto let the Word of Godnourish my soul throughreading it to feed me, notjust to inform me. Whenmy soul is touched by a truth, encouragement,comfort, reproof, orinsight from God’s Word,it’s a moment of feeding.Third, I find it helpful to

share with a trusted friendwhat God has given mefrom His Word for the day.This is especially productiveif the friend is someone on the same spiritualwavelength. Sharing life-related insights can be apowerful tool in bonding notonly with God but also withfriends, your spouse, andyour children.

Fourth, I often vary myapproach to Scripture. For a

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season I may be reading two or three chapters a day in the Psalms and theproverb that goes with theday of the month. At othertimes a study of a theme(such as friends, money,love, repentance,forgiveness) using myconcordance can be veryenlightening, particularly if I’m studying an area thatI’m struggling with in myown life. The biographies of Old Testament saints arefull of stimulating food forconnecting with God.Reading through a shortNew Testament book at one sitting may be helpful at another time in mypilgrimage.

Whatever the approach,don’t let yourself get boggeddown in duty or artificialgoals for your Bible study.Like any relationship,communication is mostexhilarating when it doesn’tkeep talking about the samething over and over. It’s best

when it centers on a point of need and interest.

Fifth, I must read the textsubmissively if I am to profitfrom its ability to connectme with the One who isspeaking through it.Engaging the Word with lessthan an open, yielded spiritis a sure formula for anexperience that will bedistant and perfunctory.There is an old adage thatappropriately says, “Thisbook will keep you from sinor sin will keep you fromthis book!”

Prayer. In regard toprayer, let me relate a coupleof things that are helpful forme. Praying honestly is ofutmost importance. Thepsalmist was never shyabout “getting in God’s face”about his life. This honestyopens our spirits up for Him to meet us with theresolution to our frustration.None of the psalms ever endwith the psalmist still beingticked about life or God.

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Prayer has a wonderful wayof getting us to see all of lifefrom God’s point of view.

Prayer must haveelements of worship. Thiscould be in the form ofsinging, gratitude, orcommunicating specificways in which we expressHis worth in the coming dayor situations. Needless tosay, prayers of repentanceand resolve are purifyingand satisfying to our ownsouls and God.

I find that praying outloud helps me deal with awandering mind. When mymind does wander, I oftenuse it as an opportunity topray for the situation or theperson that my mind hasdrifted to—unless it’s mygolf game. That’s hopeless.

Journaling prayers canalso be a help to keep ourhearts riveted.

Praying God’s Word back to Him is a wonderfulexercise in meaningfulprayer. It not only helps

us process His Wordpersonally, but it lets Godknow that we have beenpaying attention and that we really do get it after all.

Most important, it iscritical that we stay at it.There will be times when the exercise seems to be less exhilarating than youexpect it to be. For a lot ofreasons, we don’t alwaysfeel emotionally orspiritually sharp all the time.Don’t abandon the process.Faithfulness is the key. Stayat it and your connectednessto God will deepen, andintimacy with Him will beyour reward.

hThis booklet is excerpted from Radical Reliance: Living 24/7 With GodAt The Center by Joe Stowell. RadicalReliance is published by DiscoveryHouse Publishers, a member of theRBC Ministries family. Joe is theformer president of Moody BibleInstitute and currently serves asTeaching Pastor at Harvest BibleChapel in Chicago.

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Experiencing Intimacy with God