- Serendipity –

- I’m sorry.- Sorry. - Do you want these? You go ahead. - No. Please.- It’s the last one. Miss, do you have another pair of these black cashmere gloves? - Whatever’s out is what we have.- You don’t have a stockroom?- No.- Or a basement?- No. We don’t have an attic, either.- Listen, you take them. I don’t need them. - No, no, no. You saw them first. - Please. I insist. Take them. - Oh. Oh.- Wait a minute. Excuse me, sir. These are ours.- Yeah?- Oh. Your gloves? How come? They’re just sort of hanging there, sleeping with their little price tag on. - We were just discussing them, all right?- Well, I have news for you. You can go on discussing them long after I’ve paid for them. - Calm down, all right?- Calm down? It’s five days before Christmas. I’m in the middle of a New York department store. He’s asking me to calm down. - Listen, these were meant to be a very special gift for someone. - Yeah, we put quite a lot of thought into those.- Isn’t that right?- Well, who were they for?- My boyfriend. - My girlfriend. Her boyfriend. - His girlfriend.- One pair of gloves for two people? - This is hard to explain.- Try. - All right. Go ahead. - Oh. Well, he is at the present time my boyfriend. - But in 18 months… - After the operation… - He will be…- She will be… - My girlfriend. Do you understand? That didn’t really work out. - No, but Merry Christmas anyway.- Thank you very much. Well, you earned these. That was quick on your feet.

- Thanks. It was a team effort.- Yeah, it was. It was. - I don’t know how to thank you. - Well… - They’re ready for you guys. - Thank you. - I don’t know what you said to that guy makes any sense. - But I think we scared the bejesus out of him.- You were pretty fierce. This will work, though. This is quite a coffee. - But I’m serious about the check. It’s the least I can do. - Well, thank you, but, see, now I have to go find something else for my girlfriend. - Oh, they were for your girlfriend. - Yes, they were.- Oh, I can’t accept them then. - Well, you have to. Otherwise you won’t treat. Really. Let me tell you something. This is the ultimate blend to drink. Where did you find this place?- I first came in because of the name. Serendipity. It’s one of my favorite words.- It is? Why?- Cause it’s such a nice sound for what it means. A fortunate accident. Except I don’t really believe in accidents. I think fate’s behind everything. - Oh, you do? - Yeah.- Fate’s behind everything? - I think so.- Everything’s predestined? We don’t have any choice at all?- No, I think we make our own decisions. I just think that fate sends us little signs, and it’s how we read the signs that determines whether we’re happy or not. - Little signals. - Yeah.- Fortunate accidents. Lucky discoveries. Columbus in America. - Yeah, or Fleming discovering Penicillin.- Penicillin. Fleming was his name? - Yeah.- Or Jonathan and the Gloves. - I don’t know that one.- You don’t know that story? It’s an old folktale classic. Our hero, Jonathan, goes out in search of black gloves. And in a perfect act of serendipiocity or serendipaciousness, he runs into a beautiful, attractive English girl with a boyfriend. You have a boyfriend, right?- Yeah, I do.- That’s what I thought. - And you have the glove lady.- Yes, I do.- It was a very nice time. - Well, I hope you enjoy the gloves you bought yourself.

- Oh, I’m sure I will. I usually appreciate my own thoughtfulness. What do you want for Christmas? - Golf clubs.- Oh. - So you’re gonna meet your boyfriend now, or what? - No, I think he’s probably out doing what you’re doing. - Getting a crush on someone else’s girlfriend? No, I’m sorry. I just meant to say I had a really great time. You know, maybe you should give me your phone number, you know, just in case. - In case of what?- You know, in case of life. I just had a great time, and I’d never be able to find you again. - Well, if we’re meant to meet again, then we’ll meet again. It’s just not the right time now. - Maybe we were supposed to meet on British time and we’re five hours too early. Come on. I don’t even know your name. My name is Jonathan. Does that make you wanna tell me something?- Yeah, it does. Merry Christmas, Jonathan. And thanks. - That’s it? Oh, Jesus, I’m sorry about that. I think I left my scarf.- No. Nothing down here. Why don’t you go upstairs? Maybe it’s still there.- Thank you. Hey.- Hey. - Let’s go do something.- All right. What you wanna do?- I don’t care.- All right. Come on.- Now, promise me you’re not just visiting here for a week or marrying somebody to get a green card or on parole. - None of the above. You?- No, no, no. Proud US citizen. No criminal record. So you won’t tell me your name. Well, tell me…what do you miss most about mother England? - I miss my mom terribly. - If I were her, I’d miss you too. - ok. Favorite movie. - The correct answer is Cool Hand Luke.- I’ve never seen it. - Oh, come on. You’ve never seen Cool Hand Luke? Paul Newman? Oh, my God. Come on. “Failure to communicate.” Sadistic cop in sunglasses with no name. Reminds me of you in that way. - Favorite New York moment. - This one’s climbing the charts.- I’m flattered. - Is there anything else you need to know about me? - Favorite sexual position? Oh.- Whoa. Whoa. Yeah, yeah. That’s my favorite too. You all right?

- Yes.- Did you hurt yourself?- No. Yes.- You did? Let's take a look at that.- ouch.- Oh, Jesus. That’s a deep, deep gash.- Gaping. - What? We’ll fix that right up. There you go. - What? Oh, you’re looking at my freckles. It’s the curse of the English, I’m afraid. Fair skin and bad teeth. - No, you have great teeth. Those aren’t just freckles. If you look closely, you can see Cassiopeia. - What?- Right there. Hold on a minute. Ok. All right, here’s the story. A long time ago in Ethiopia, there was this queen named Cassiopeia who thought she was the most beautiful woman in the entire world, and there wasn’t anybody in the kingdom who wasn’t offended by this woman’s relentless vanity. And then one day, she really screwed up and offended the Gods. I don’t remember what she did and I don’t remember who she offended. But it was bad. She crossed the line. But anyway, Poseidon, the Sea God, punished Cassiopeia by placing her in the heavens upside down on her throne, stuck for eternity with her skirt around her shoulders and all the blood rushing to her head. And now she’s just a constellation in the sky, a bunch of English freckles in the shape of a throne. So she made one tragic mistake. - And paid for eternity. - Correct.- Yeah, yeah, yeah.- Legible, legible. - I can’t believe I’m doing this.- Now, please, please. Let fate take its proper course. Oh. That was an accident. Write down that again, please.- I can’t. That was a sign. Fate’s telling us to back off. - If fate didn’t want us to be together, then why did we meet tonight, huh? Gotcha.- Well, I don’t know. But it’s not an exact science. It’s a feeling.- Well, what if you’re wrong? Huh? What if it’s all in our hands and we just walk away? No names, no phone numbers, nothing. What do you think’s gonna happen? Do you think good old fate is just gonna deliver my information right to your doorstep? - Do you know that’s the best idea you’re had all night?- What’s the best…- Here you go. Write your name and number down. - On a $5 bill?- Just do it. - You are a strange and interesting woman. Now what?- Wait there. - Hey. What the hell was that?

- When that $5 bill makes it back into my hands, I’ll be able to call you. And when you hear my voice on the other end, then you’ll believe in fate, won’t you?- Hey, what about me?- What do you mean? - Well, we have to send something out in the universe with your name on it, don’t we? Come on. Isn’t that the only fair thing? - That is the only fair thing. - What have I got, even? Oh, no. I have a really good idea. - What?- ok. That’s a lot of tuba.- Ok, see this book? - Yeah. - ok, so when I get home tonight, I’m gonna write my name and number inside this book. And then first thing tomorrow morning, I’ll sell it to a used bookstore. - Which one? You’re not gonna tell me. You’re not gonna tell me. Why not?- Well, now, every time you go past an old bookstore, you’re gonna have to go inside to see if it’s there. - This is just wrong. You don’t just have the most incredible night of your life with a perfect stranger and then leave it all to chance, do ya? Do ya?- Come with me a second. - What, we’re gonna get a room? I’m kidding. But I wanna know you more. Come on. Where are we going?- ok. Now, you stay here.- ok. - No, stay here. Stay there. Don’t make me come over there. Ok.- ok. - All right, if we both randomly pick the same floor, we’re meant to be together now. - You’re insane. - Come on. Ok, get in. Take a breath, and then when the door closes, hit a button. - I don’t understand this.- You don’t have to understand. You just have to have faith. - Faith in what?- Destiny. Hey. It’s Sara. My name’s Sara.- And here it is. See? You were right. Let’s go, buddy. - We’re going up here.- Oh, that’s ok. Josh likes to ride either way. Don’t you, Josh? - Don’t do that. Don’t touch those. - Hey, calm down. He’s just a kid. Looks like we’ve stopped. We’re going again.-Thank you. - Where is she? Is she here?- No, no. I don’t think so.- Come on, Josh. Let’s go, buddy.- ok, stay alert.- Is she here?

- No, not here. Back in the elevator. - She’s not here?- Come on, come on. Move it. Come on, boy. Hey, Sara. I’m sorry. Hey. I’m sorry. - What?- I’m sorry. - I usually have to beg to be a part of weddings. And if I do get into the wedding, of course they postponed it, and it’s overseas somewhere, and they’ve canceled my passport, and I can’t be a part of it, and it’s ridiculous and awkward and horrible. So thank you. I take this very seriously. It’s a gift to be the best man. They say that once in your lifetime, someone comes along whom you’re absolutely meant to be with. Everything feels great, stars are aligned, body and spirit are in balance. For my friend Jonathan Trager, that person was me. But as you know, Jonny and I were simpatico. We were friends since freshman year. I watched him go out with woman after woman, and he’d always come crawling…he would come crawling back to me. It was embarrassing.- You loved it. - But then one night he came home and things were different. His adolescent dream of becoming a documentary filmmaker was a thing of the past. - Thank God.- He hardly even responded to my playful yet tormented flicks of my finger against the soft part of his skull as he studied for finals. And that is because he had found her, the woman he was meant to be with. And if anyone is qualified to know when he met his soul mate, it would be me, his first wife. She’s smart, she’s funny, she’s beautiful. In short, she’s the kind of woman that any man would dream about. And I think we all have. So it is with sadness and fond, fond memories that I raise my glass to the new Mrs. Jonathan Trager. I’ll tell you what. I’ll tell you something. My friends, if I had to lose Jonny to anyone, I can’t imagine a more perfect woman than Halley. Cheers to both of you. - How drunk is he on a scale of one to ten? - 12.- You think we’ll even out-romance Dean and Courtney? - I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve ever seen them fight.- Me neither. - Must be a bitch on their sex life. - We have a pomegranate soufflé whch is amazing, which is different than the sorbet. Listen, we’d love to join you guys, but Courtney has to wake up, so I got to be good. Hally, listen to me. It’s not too late to back out. - Good night, Dean.- And I’m at 166th and…- Good night, Courtney. - Mama, you don’t wanna see this. I need… I need to snuggle. I’m gonna go sleep it off. Listen, you’re wonderful.- Good night.- You know what? You need me.- Take care. Come on.

- You guys, listen, I hate to tell you, but I gotta go home too. I have to. I gotta get up at 8 in the morning. My day is crazy tomorrow. - Come in for one drink.- He doesn’t want to come. He doesn't have to come. - I’ll see you in about 20 hours.- Bye-bye, dear.- I love you, son.- Night-night. - George. - Take care.- You ok?- You better be up later.- Yeah, why?- Because I’m gonna come home and get undressed…- Uh-huh? - And climb into bed, act like we just got over a terrible fight.- See you later now. - Buy a book. Reading is good for you. Knowledge. Reading? Hold on, hold on. Listen, listen.- I read it a long time ago. - I’ll throw in the screenplay to the bridges of Madison County.- I saw the movie. It was great.- ok, and …- And nothing. I mean… I mean, I did nothing. I just let her walk out of the party and I didn’t say anything to her. And now she’s gone forever. I mean, she was my soul mate.- Kenny, I honestly think it’s dangerous to use the term soul mate. It implies there’s some magical element that we have no control over, like fate or destiny. I think holding on to beliefs like that stops us doing the real work. And the fact is, if your therapy stays on track, I think you’ll find there are many, many people out there you could easily be happy with. - You truly believe all that, Sara?- Yeah. I really do.- There you go. -Thanks.- You got to say yes, first. - Yes.- Wait a second. - Ow. Let me… - I got it. I got it. - Ow. Ow. Ow.- I got it. - Ow. - ok, you’re not gonna read into this, right, Sara? I mean, it’s just an accident, nothing more.

- No. God. We’ll get it refitted. It’s beautiful. I love it. - You get changed. I’m gonna call Ryan, tell him you said yes. - Why? Was he worried?- Not about you. About the tour. He’s hoping to fit the honeymoon into the schedule. How does Bora Bora sound? - Very… sexy-sexy? - Now, if you’re a golfer on a one-hour lunch break, you’d use that time up just getting to the nearest course out of Manhattan. All this was a long overdue solution. Formerly a dilapidated pier and converted just 5 years ago, the range offers the inhabitants of this concrete jungle, the chance to keep their drives straight, their short games accurate and most of all, brings the joys and frustrations of golf back to city folk. This is Nick Roberts, ESPN news, New York City.- Superb, Nick. We got it. Thank you. Artie, I gotta run, ok?- What about the B-roll shots? - Paging Sara Lawson. Paging Sara Lawson. Please come to the front desk. - Could you come back and get the B-roll on Friday? - Yeah. Whatever you say, boss.- Thank you, sir. - I’m Sara Lawson. Hi. - How are you? - Sorry I’m late.- You’re down at position number two. - Oh, right. Bad golfers all the way down there, right?- Dude, take off. We got it.- Well, hello, Mr. Marrying Man. - Hi. Where’s Lauren?- Oh, Lauren took the day off. My name is Sara and I’m gonna cut your hair today. - You know what? I’m not thrilled with having that just cut hair look for my own wedding, so… - I’ll just take a little bit off.- I gotta live with these pictures the rest of my life. - Just a little bit.- Please, you know… Forget Charles street. Take me to the New York Times building on 42nd, please. I’m telling you, I keep running into her. I keep finding it. It keeps happening. She was at the golf range. She’s a big girl now with big hips. All right? Then I gotta leave cause Sara’s gonna cut my hair, and the guy in the taxi, he’s serenading me, Sara. I’m telling you, the universe keeps revealing her to me, screwing with my head.- You’re getting married in 3 days. - That’s my point.- It’s entirely duplicitous. Think about it. Why would you risk your relationship with Halley just to search for some pipe dream?- Just hear me out, man. I’m sure that I love Halley, all right? And maybe every time you fall in love with somebody, it’s a completely different experience. So it’s a mistake to compare them. I get it, but… all right. It’s like Halley is the Godfather Part 2.

- She’s what?- Godfather part 2. That was an incredible movie. Might be better than the original. All right? But no matter how much you love the Godfather part 2, you still have to see the original to understand and appreciate the sequel, don’t ya? Come on. Is it too much to ask from my oldest friend to help me out? You’ve already got the fairy-tale marriage. - I’m the best man.- You work in the biggest newspaper in the world. Help me find her. - Let me tell you something. Contrary to popular New York myth, the Times is not omniscient. I need a last name. I need a social security number. - If we find the book…- It.. it… it’s a dead end. You know that. - Unless we search every bookstore in New York.- You did that. Years ago. Do you remember?- Maybe I missed a store. Maybe somebody bought it and sold it back.- You know what? I don’t want any part of this. All right? - Maybe I am just getting cold feet. - I’m telling you right now, British women do not age well. You know, I mean, years ago, yes, she was a luscious treat. You know, she probably looked like, you know, baby spice. But now she could look like… - Old spice.- It’s a great haircut. - Oh. Thanks. - Tell me you love me.- I love you.-Tell me something romantic.- Like what?- I don’t know. Like… how I’m the only girl in the entire universe meant for you. Oh, my God, the dinner. By the way, I emptied your closet. We gotta pack for the honeymoon.God, I hate this building. Shut up. - Don’t hit it with the thing. - John.- What?- I’m gonna go yell at the super. I don’t understand why this is going off. You said last week it would be fine. - Hey,John.- Hey.- This place looks like a disaster area. - Thanks, Gerald.- Gerald, it’s in here. - I gotta get going. Coming. - Come on. I wanna see. I wanna see. I thought you wanted a round-cut diamond. - Why? When did I say that?- I’m not exactly sure. But when we were younger, I think.- Oh, God. When I was younger, I was gonna marry Boris Becker, wasn’t I?

- Hey, guys. What did you think?- Hey. - Well, I mean, was that last song really inspired by my sister? - Every artist needs his muse. - Who wants to hear the good news- Hey, I pay you for the good news.- No. You pay me to keep away the bad news. - Bring it on.- Lars’ dates in Stockholm sold out in 8 hours. - Wow. - That means we’re gonna have to add some more shows. So we’ll bump Paris…- Sorry. I don’t wanna spoil anyone’s party, but Lars and I have already set the dates for our honeymoon and our wedding, and I’ve told my parents when I’m going. - Well, baby, your patients can do without you for a couple weeks. - He’s right, Sara. I mean, a couple of extra weeks in Europe aren’t gonna kill you. - Caroline’s just pushing you to stay longer cause she wants us to house-sit for you guys. - Yeah, thank you. I was going to ask her when she was drunk. - Actually, that’s a great idea. - Yeah?- Yes. Come on, Kip. Let’s get out of here before Sara changes Lars’ mind.- I said something wrong?- No, it’s… I’ve just got a very detailed schedule and my patients are important too. I don’t like changing the dates at the last minute.- Excuse me. I’m sorry. But I really need you to approve these T-shirt designs for Australia.- Oh, no problem.- You don’t mind, do you?- Can we do this later?- Yeah. -She don’t mind. - That’s chamomile for you ladies. Nice and hot. Very good. - Thanks.- Sara, it was a movie poster. It’s no big deal. - It’s peculiar though, right? Don’t you think? - Look, I thought you were through with all this new age bullshit like horoscopes and feng shui and all that crap. - Eve, for someone who owns a new age store, you are alarmingly earthbound. - Oh, yeah? And for a shrink-in-training, you are a little bit crazy. I’ll tell you that much.- Excuse me. Do you carry the Casanova candle?- Yes. As a matter of fact, we do. You know what? Check on the shelf across from the Caligula incense. And they’re on sale, so today’s your lucky day. Great. You see, that is what happens when people get hooked on the new age life. They end up sitting at home burning candles for Mr. Right when Mr. Good Enough For Right Now is waiting at the corner bar. Hi. Yeah. She’s a pain in the ass.

- And I gotta find her.- I’ve been here three years, so this is…- Yea, I understand. But your computer system has been for a long time. - I think… I think you're just wasting my time, sir.- No, no. Here’s the thing.- There’s nothing I can do. You cannot be over here. You cannot come over… - All right.- To this side of the counter.- All right. - Please don’t cross this line. Thank you.- Understand. All I really need is if you can enter this account number in the computer and just tell me he name. - Oh, I see. When you put it that way, no. - Would 20 bucks help? - It might if I was a health inspector. - Listen, this is really important.- Oh, boy, did it again. Crossed the line. You have to remain on the other side of the register. I don’t wanna say it again. Remain on that side. Thank you. - Let’s bottom-line this, huh? What’s it gonna take? I have to have the name. - Well, I was a little short on my weekly sales draw. - Were you?- I’m just mentioning. - ok. I’m going to… - Uh-uh.- Look where my feet are. All right? - Lovely choice, sir. - Thank you. Account number was 029351…- I thought you said you were gonna help with my weekly draw. The tie’s worth $95. We’re still 700 short. - $700? - 700.- That’s extortion.- That’s good salesmanship, sir. - What do I need? Ring it up.- Well, we have a purple tie. What would go with a purple tie? - I look like a magician. All right, you horrible little man. I bought the entire spring line. Ok, you happy? Now, look her up.- I already did. It was a dead account. There’s no information in our computers. - You give me that.- Hey, chase me. - Chase you? What? Are you insane?- Don’t cross the line. You crossed the line.- Stop saying that or I will cut you. Now, you better find a way to help me right now. - I can suggest another option.

- Suggest it fast. - When our customers apply for a credit card, the hard copies go to our storage facility in Queens. All you need is the account number, which you already have, and you can fin her application. However, you need an employee to get you in. You need an employee… to get you in. Crocodile. - Hal. Halley. - A natural/-Yeah? -Yeah. Really natural.- No, no, no. Cut, cut, cut.- What’s the problem? - The problem is you can’t fend off an army of bloodthirsty Vikings with a shehnai. It’s illogical.- No, see… no, no. You’re lulling them into submission with the music. That’s the whole point of the song, really. Mystic Surrender. - You don’t think he looks like he hates the music? - No. Hey. - Hey, baby. - Now, this guy, he’s… he’s like Alec Guinness. So good. - Yeah. Star Wars. Obi-Wan. All right. Right here, what are they doing? What’s their attitude? What are they thinking? Who are those people?- They’re in awe and speechless. And they’re just grateful. Underfed. Underpaid.- Why don’t they ask me to stay in the village and have a feast?- Yeah. Sarah, hey. - Hey. Can we talk for a sec?- Sure.- ok, yeah, I’m going to split, guy. Lars, I’ll tell you what… I’m gonna talk t the director… and I’m gonna have him tweak that whole section. It’ll be fine. It’ll be fine.-Tell him about the feast. What’s going on?- I lost my keys yesterday. - Oh, that’s a drag. - And I’ve just found them in the freezer.- I don’t get it. Is that a joke? - No, Lars, it’s not a joke. I feel like I’m losing my mind. It’s the wedding plans and the tour and my patients. It’s just a bit too much to deal with. - ok, Sara, look. We’re leaving for Toronto in the morning, so don’t fall apart on me now.- I know, I know, I know. And that’s why I think I need a little break. -What do you mean, a little break? - No, not that kind of little break. I just mean a weekend away to recharge my batterires and clear my head. Hey, this has nothing to do with the other night. I just need this. I need it for me. But I won’t go unless you say it’s ok.- It’s ok. -Thank you.

- ok. Where are you going? Where are you going?- Oh, I don’t know. New York, maybe. Happy birthday.- Oh, my God. Are you serious? Get out of town. - Yeah, that’s the idea. - Thanks. Talk to you soon.- ok. - This is unbelievable. Sara, really, this is way too generous of you.- Oh, come on, Can’t a girl do something nice for her friend on her birthday?- There’s no ulterior motives? - Well, yeah. I’m getting married in a week and I’d just like to have one last fling with my best friend before I walk down the aisle. - It’s so sweet. But, you know, you’re really not my type.- Oh, thanks. -We’re going to New York?- Yeah.- Hey. Excuse me. - Why so tense?- Because you’re freaking me out, all right? Is there another space you can be in?- Oh. Excusez-moi.- Uh-huh.- And what is it you do?- Well, why, my sales clerk friend, I happen to write for a little publication. Maybe you’ve heard of it. It’s called the New York Times. -Oh.- Yeah. - Hello? Who? Dean? And who may I say is calling? Hang on. Your editor. - Hi. No. Didn’t get a chance to write that one. Didn’t write that one either. With all due respect, sir, they’ll all still be dead tomorrow. Ok. Thank you. Bye-bye.- You write for the obituaries.- Absolutely. Yeah.- You must be very proud.- Uh-huh. I’m the one with the last word.- Not tonight. - Yes, I am. - I don’t think so.- Absolutely. - Fat chance. - Still talking.- Last line.- Yeah, right here. - I don’t know. I don’t know. My eyes are killing me. My eyes are killing me. Tell me these numbers match.- I’ll tell you. - Let me see.

- Don’t do that. Is it 0293?- 0293. Congratulations. - You got it?- I think you found her. - No way. - Too bad the last name’s completely smudged out, though. Well, it’s his fault. It was his thumb. When he grabbed it, his thumb went right across the name. Completely. I’m kidding. It was smudged in my hand. - Would you stop it?- It’s just a little joke. That’s carbon paper for you. I guess that’s why America rejected it. -What’s that address? Is that her address?- That’s 7 years ago, man. - So go to the building leasing office and you’ll find out who lived there 7 years ago. It ain’t rocket science. - Thank you.- Hi. - Hey. - Where to?- Yeah, where are we going?- Ok, take us… anywhere in New York. - Excuse me?- Anywhere. Wherever you feel like going. - That’s not a destination, lady.- Wait. You don’t make reservations? - Ok, Eve, please don’t get mad at me.- What? Oh, no. I cannot believe this. - I need a borough here, ladies.- I was gonna tell you when we got on the plane. - You know what? That’s really sneaky of you, Sara. - I’m not a bloody psychic. - Eve, wait. Wait. Eve. Eve. - You tricked me.- I knew you wouldn’t come if I told you the truth. I needed my best friend with me. - What are you doing, Sara? Honestly, Sara, I don’t understand you anymore, ok? Please, tell me something. Tell me anything that makes just a little bit of sense. - I’ve just spent the entire flight staring into the sky, thinking. Not about my fiancé, but about this mystery guy I met a million and a half hours ago. A guy I don’t even remember, except for this.. vague picture I have inside my head. It was just a few seconds. A fragment, really. And it was like… in that moment, the whole universe existed just to bring us together. That’s why I’m here. That’s why I’m gonna let fate take me wherever it wants to go. Because when all this is over, at least I’m never gonna have to think of him ever again. Let’s just pray he’s a bald fascist who picks his nose nad wipes it under the car seat. Hi.

- Hi. - Could you hold on?- Where are you going? - You better be buying me one frigging big birthday cake, that’s all I gotta say. - Could I get your destination, please? - The Waldorf, I guess.- Finally she gets it.- ok, we are going that way.- And I’m gonna follow you.- You can do it yourself. Just open up the computer and look into it.- I’m not even sure that I can give you this information.- If you can’t, why can’t you?- Because I’m just a temp, ok? I don’t know the rules. - Couple of months out of college, you’re acting like you’re part of the establishment. - No, no, no, no. What about privacy law, huh? - Forget about privacy laws. You know what privacy laws do?- No. -They protect millionaires. Do you know who those are?- Who?- Tell him who they are. Tell him.- Kids your age. Pimple-faced college dropouts who have made unhealthy sums of money forming internet companies that create no concrete products, provide to viable services and still manage to generate profits for all of its lazy, day-trading, son-of-a-bitch shareholders. Meanwhile, as a tortured member of the disenfranchised proletariat, you find some altruistic need to protect these digital plantation owners? - Wow. Come on. Come on. - You guys want the tenant on record in 1994?- December, to be exact.- There’s your tenant.- Sebastian Mig-Non? - No. Mignon. It’s French. - No, we’re looking for someone named Sara. You got the right one? - Maybe he was her boyfriend. - Thanks. You did the right thing. Really, you did. - Good work, pal.- You got it. MIGNON. - You got it? There you go. - Thank you so much, Sally. You gotta love her.- Where is he? - Brooklyn.- Ok, let’s… let’s grab a suway. - Wait a minute. Wait. Aren’t you forgetting about something?- What?- Wedding rehearsal. Bachelor party.

- Plenty of time. Plenty of time. Come on.- You sure? - Yes. Gotta go to Brooklyn. Come on.- Prada. Oh, my God. Prada. Ooh, I love this stuff. - That’s $20.- 20 bucks? - Eve, that’s a horrific knockoff. At least my fake says Prada. Yours says Prado. - Yeah? Well, I say for a dollar, I can buy a little magic marker and fix that. I’ll take it. 20 bucks? Right back here. Here you go. - Two buckets of balls for the price of one at the Chelsea Piers today. - So where are we going to now?- I don’t know. - Lady, lady, you’re a golfer?- I feel like I feel something. - Two for the price of one.- Right where I’m standing. Hey. Who are you? - Can you believe that? 2 bucks of…whoa. Will you help me up, ma’am? Yeah, yeah, help me up.- Oh, my God.- Are you ok?- Is the ball ok?- Yeah, the back of the head. Is that all right?- Oh, my goodness gracious.- I’m all right. Can you get the flyers?- Here you go.- Taxi.- Sara. They should make pills for this. - He’s gotta be here. He’s got to be here. I can feel it. - Excuse me. Miss? - Yeah?- You’re blocking my shot.- Oh. Sorry. - This is Nick Roberts, ESPN news, New York City. - Do you know how plays golf? Guys who are to ofat to play tennis. Like that guy.- Well, this is a special occasion. After all, how many times in your life is your son gonna get married?- Well said. - You wanna know why I love this game?- No. Why?- I’ll tell ya. You can take years off from playing and still come back strong. - Well, me, I haven’t played in over 5 years. - You’re kidding.- Ow.- Are you all right?

- I’m ok.- Sorry up there. - Eve, look out.- Go. - Oh, my God, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. Are you ok?- Please say something. Say something. - I think I swallowed a filling. - Thank you for letting us in. Now, Mr. Mignon, we have an odd and somewhat personal question to ask you. - Mignon.- Mr. Mignon. - Mignon. Like the meat. - Mr. Mignon, a few years ago, did you live with a girl, first name Sara? Attractive, dark hair, kind of, like, mysterious, you know, really amazing girl. - Oui.- Do you know where we can locate this individual? - No, I do not. - Do you remember her last name?- No. - Oh, come on. You don’t even remember the last name of your ex-girlfriend? I find that hard to believe. - You don’t understand anything. She was not my girlfriend. She was just… a roommate. She stayed with me for a very short period of time. She was placed with me by… - A roommate finder’s service? - Oui. She stayed with me with her boyfriend for a few months…- I don’t care about him.- And then he moved out very quickly. And at the end of the year, she moved out too. That’s it.- Yeah, but did she leave anything behind, maybe with her last name on it, like a receipt, a bill? Like a piece of luggage?- No. No. - Anything would help, really. Anything. - I remember she sat on me. - She sat on you? - Yes. She sat on me for a while. I found her… inspiring. I guess this is why I started painting her in the first place. - Oh. She sat for you. I’m sorry. - That is what I said. - That’s what he said.- That’s what I said. - Clearly.- Do you happen to have the painting? Hey, now you’re gonna see what it’s all about. You know, you see her face. - ok. Yeah.

- This is her, yes? - Yeah, sure. Around the eyes a little. I mean, I’m definitely getting the British thing, you know, with the crown and the scepter. - Do you have a name for the roommate finder’s service? - They would have the information. - Absolutely.- Yes. Do you have the name?- No, I do not. But if it helps, I do remember where the service was located. - Absolutely.- Yes. Where? Where?- Manhattan.- Where in Manhattan, Mr. Mignon?- On 60th street. - East side or west side?- It was just next to that… on the left of that splendid little patisserie, Serendipity. That’s it.- Get… get ready. - Happy birthday. It’s on the house.- Thank you. Thanks. - Oh, I’m a God-awful friend. - No, you will be if you sing.- Eve, thanks so much for coming with me. - You’re welcome. Sara, you know, it’s a wonderful thought. The idea that all of life, that every single event is part of some master plan designed to lead us to our universal soul mate. But if that’s really true, then what’s the point of living? Or making decisions? Hell, why should we even get out of bed in the morning? - For the cake? - No. Not for the cake. So that you make mistakes. Mistakes like this trip. And if you’re smart enough, you learn from your mistakes. You figure it out. You… you think. You realize that life isn’t some elaborate stage play with directions for the actors. Life’s a mess, Sara. It’s.. it’s chaos personified. - I have to give it all up now, don't I? - Sara, you have a fiancé who despite his weird eastern music, which we hope is just a phase, let’s hope, loves you very, very, very much. It’s not giving up. It’s growing up. Let’s get out of here.- Yeah.- Here’s one.- It’s a bridal shop.- Oh, my god. The irony. Wait right here. I’ll be right back. Stay here. - Why? Time, please?- About 7:30.- Right. - They moved downtown. If we get lucky with traffic, we can still hit it. What time is the rehearsal?

- Can’t do it. - Taxi. - It’s over, man. - What? What are you talking about?- How can I ignore that? Bless the Goddamn bride?- What?- It can’t get any more clearer than this. I’m not supposed to be doing this. It’s not in the cards. - Hey, it’s another one of your clues, man. Let’s talk about it in a cab on the way over. Let’s go. - It’s not a clue. It’s a sign. - What’s the difference?- A clue is what a detective uses to find a suspect. The receipt, the warehouse, that French guy…those are clues. This is a sign. Me never finding the book, that’s a sign. Sara never finding the $5 bill, that’s a sign. - How could something not happening be a sign? - Maybe the absence of signs is a sign. Isn’t it? - That’s lucid. - Look, I don’t know, man. Maybe there is no fate. And if there is, it’s not working for me.- You know, it’s not actually supposed to end this way, by the way. We’re supposed to pull the curtain and see the wizard, all right? Get to the end of the river.- This is the end of the river. My wedding rehearsal starts in less than an hour. My bride is waiting for me.- Let me ask you something here. OK? If Sara were here right now, poof, came down, what would she tell you to do?- She would tell me to run, not walk to the Waldorf. Look. Wedding dress. Lots of white. - I hate to state the obvious…- State it. - Ok. If you don’t do this, you may never find out who Sara is. -Maybe I was never supposed to. Maybe all this is just a maze designed to lead me directly back to where I started. Which is getting married. - They should make pills for this. - Halley?- Oh, my God. Eve.- What a crazy coincidence. How are you?- Good.- Oh, my God. Sara, can you believe… that I was Halley’s RA in college? Isn’t that funny? Oh, I’m sorry. This is Sara. - Hi. Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you too. - Oh, my gosh. What’s it been, like 8 or 9 years? - Eve was… I went to BU with Eve. - Well, isn’t that wonderful?

- Yeah. How about that? So what are you doing here?- I’m getting married tomorrow.- You are? Congratulations. Wow.- Congratulations.- Thanks.- In this hotel? - At 12 noon. We’re actually going to rehearsal. Why don’t you come watch? - Why don’t you go?- Ok, sure. I would love to come and watch.- And you can bring your… partner if you want. - Oh.- Oh, no, no, no. I have to go upstairs and call my fiancé… who’s a man. - Oh. You must be very proud.- ok, so have a good one. I’ll see you later.- Ok, good.- Good-bye. - My sweet lesbian lady lover. I’m just kidding. It’s just a joke between us. - Lars? What are you doing? How did you know where I was?- Intuition.- Really?- No. I went through the New York Hotel Guide. Alphabetically, in reverse. I started with Z. Sara, I missed you so much. I’m sorry. I don’t blame you for running away. I was so… focused on the album, the video.- I, Jonathan, take you, Halley, to be my wife, and I promise to love and sustain you in the bond of marriage from this day forward. And obviously, Jonathan, you’ll be looking at Halley. And that’s when the actual ceremony will conclude. - Excuse me. - What?- I need some help over here. - And then… then you’re married.- Hal, who’s that girl over there?- Oh, that's my old friend Eve. - ok, everyone, that’s a wrap. And now make sure to be here tomorrow morning at 9 sharp for pictures.- I hate to break up a good thing, but we have some strippers waiting for us. We’re late. - You mean exotic dancers.- No, no. I mean strippers. The women who take off everything.- I’ll see you men at 9. But remember, I promised Judy I’d be home by 10. -Fantastic. It gives you an hour to get crazy. Let’s get into it. - Before you take Jon and Dad off to your make-bonding ritual, I need to talk to him.- ok. Beautiful bride. I’ll be in the cab.- Hi.- I want you to meet Jon. - Hi. It’s so nice to meet you

- I would love for you to come tomorrow. We’d feel terrible if you didn’t.- Really? - Yeah.- That’s so sweet. It’s tomorrow at noon? - Yeah, and you can bring your friend if you want. - ok. - Be there.- I’ll be there. Thank you. That’s so nice. - See you tomorrow.- Nice to meet you. Bye. See you.- Halley, what is it? What’s wrong?- It’s you. - What do you mean, it’s me? What did I do?- Nothing, exactly. IT’s just this feeling I have, like… like you’ve been somewhere else for the past few days. - That’s not true.- Don’t lie to me, Jonathan. I’ve dreamed about this my entire life, and…and.. I’ve imagined the dress sand the flowers and even the music the bank was gonna play. And everything is exactly the way I want it, except for my fiancé, who’s just decided to float off to never-never land. - Look, maybe I’ve been a little bit out of it the past week, but it’s just normal, you know, guy stuff. It’s a little cold feet. Doesn’t mean I don’t love you.- Well, call me crazy, but I’d like my fiance’s feet to be warm, especially when we’re hours from going down the aisle. - I’m sorry, Hal. Really, I am. - Whatever it is that you’re holding on to, please just let it go. Please. - I think it already let go of me, ok?- Wait. - What’s this?- What do you think? it’s the traditional groom’s gift.- I got yours, and I forgot to bring it.- I know. It’s ok. Open it. It’s a first edition. It’s just that every time we go into a bookstore, you’re always flipping through it. And I checked this week. You don’t even have a copy. What’s wrong? Don’t you like it?- It’s perfect. It’s an excellent choice.- What’s going on? Are you all right? - Her name’s Sara Thomas.- What? How did… - Halley gave it to me as a wedding gift.- Sally? It’s Dean from obits. Hey. I need an address for a Sara Thomas. SARATHOMAS. I got an old phone number. Yeah, we’ll hold. Hang on. Sir, can you pull this thing over? I can’t hear a thing. Honey, just one second. Ok, go, what? What? We have to cancel Dusseldorf. Why? We have to cancel Stockholm? Oh. Look at those stars. They all have names, you know. I don’t know what that is.

- It’s Cassiopeia. The… stars in the sky. It’s… Cassiopeia. - You realize with the time delay, if our return flight takes off more than ten minutes late, I miss my own wedding, ok? Does that bother you in the slightest?- You are a jackass. - Well, thank you. - You are. You’re my hero, you know? You’re like my oracle and shit, you know? You’re out there, man, and you’re making it happen. Courtney moved out. - What?- Yeah. It’s… look, man. We’d been fighting for a really long time. - Why didn’t you tell me?- We didn’t want to ruin your wedding, man. Didn’t want to rain on your parade, man.- What the hell happened? - We just… we let it slip away, you know? That’s the point. It… you know, it died. We died.- What was the cause of death?- Not enough of all of this, of this, of this. And not enough… you know? Do you… Do you remember the philosopher Epictetus? You remember what he said? He said, “if you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.” That’s what you’ve done. - I work hard at it.- Now I want to be a jackass. You know? You’re the shit. - That would be me, the shit.- Yeah. He’s the shit. Ok. You know what, old buddy? On second thought, maybe you should call first. - What are you talking about? - Give her a ring. It’s more polite that way. Calling her gives her a chance to clean up. - I don’t care how clean her house is. - She might.- What are you talking about?- She might. - You told me to go. You said I was your hero.- I forbid you to look. You can’t look. - Why are you hanging on me?- I don’t want you to get hurt. Don’t get hurt.- You’re hurting me. I think that went very well.- Didn’t… didn't she say that everything happens for a reason? -Yeah, she did.- Well, maybe we’re laying here because.. - Because why? - Because you don’t want to be standing somewhere else. I see. Yeah. We’re crawling. We’re crawling. - Ladies and gentlemen, this is the captain speaking. I’m sorry to report that we’re gonna be on the ground a little longer due to some bad weather heading this way. The

air traffic controller has put us on hold, so in the meantime, I’ve asked the cabin attendants to start the movie. - Hey, you getting ready?- Yeah. You know me. I love a good wedding. So have you talked to Lars?- Yeah. We spoke this morning before he left. I think he’s gonna be ok. At least I hope so. - Of course he’s gonna be ok, and I gotta tell you something. You’re gonna be ok too. - Yeah. Oh, you know what? There’s a lady glaring at me. I don’t think I’m supposed to be on the phone. Can I call you when I get home? -Have a safe flight, ok? - Lots of love. Bye.- Headsets?- Yes, I will.- $3, please. What the hell is this?- Something the matter? - Yes. I think I’ve mixed up my wallet with my friend’s. Yes, I have. See? Prado. - Oh. Well, is there any money in it?- I’ll have a look. Yes, there is. Thank you. Sorry. Excuse me.- That’s this gentleman’s change. - Jonathan. Jonathan. - Excuse me. I just… - Sorry. You know what? I’m going to… Thank you. Excuse me. Sorry. I’m sorry. Hi. Yeah. It’s in New York City. I need the address of a Jonathan Trager. Yeah. TRAGER. 34 Charles Street? Thank you. 34 Charles Street. Thank you. Hi.- Can I help you?- I’m looking for a Jonathan Trager. Is this his building?- You must be late.- Late for what? - The wedding. Waldorf-Astoria. - He’s getting married? - Might be already.- Wait. Hey, wait. Wait. Excuse me. Sorry. Can you take me to the Waldorf-Astoria as fast as you can go, please? Can you see what it is? Sorry. Sorry. Oh. Oh, please, God. No. Stop.- Stop? - Is it over? - The wedding? - Yeah.- Oh, yeah. It’s over, all right. But don’t worry. You’ll get your present back. - Excuse me?- They always return the presents. You asked if it was over. The truth is, it never even began.- What? - Yeah. He called the whole thing off this morning. - He called it off? That’s terrible.

- Were you a friend of the bride? Or the groom?- What’s up with this weather?- What happened to spring?- So, what kind of pep talk do you want?- What do you got? - Well, I’ve got the inspirational “you can achieve anything you dream about.” It’s very popular, but not appropriate for this. Of course, there’s the “don’t worry, there’s more fish in the sea” pap.- No.- We can always fall back on the classic “when God shuts a door, he opens a window.” - How about telling me I did the right thing? - I don’t have to tell you. I wrote it. - What’s this?- It’s your obituary.- Nice.- Turns out I had writer’s block penning your best man speech, and that’s what ended up coming out. Blame it on the day job. 20, right?-Thanks.- You going to see Courtney?- Absolutely. I needed this. You know, the Greeks didn’t write obituaries. They only asked one question after a man died. “Did he have passion?” How do I look?- Like a jackass. Good luck, man.- Thank you.- Jonathan Trager, prominent television producer for ESPN, died last night from complications of losing his soul mate and his fiancé. He was 35 years old and soft-spoken and obsessive. Trager never looked the part of a hopeless romantic. But in the final days of his life, he revealed an unknown side of his psyche. This hidden quasi-jungian persona surfaced during the Agatha Christie-like pursuit for his long-reputed soul mate, a woman whom he only spent a few precious hours with. Sadly, the protracted search ended late Saturday night in complete and utter failure. Yet even in certain defeat, the courageous Trager secretly clung to the belief that life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. Uh-uh. But rather it’s a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan. Asked about the loss of his dear friend, Dean Kansky, the Pulitzer prize-winning author and executive editor of the New York Times, described Jonathan as a changed man in the last days of his life. Things were clearer for him, Kansky noted. Ultimately, Jonathan concluded that if we are to live life in harmony with the universe, we must all possess a powerful faith in what the ancients used to call fatum, what we currently refer to as destiny. - Destiny.- So what are you gonna do?- I don’t know. I guess I’m just gonna try and find him or something. - I don’t think you should do that. I really don’t. - Well, what do you think I should do?- Just be here. I feel it. I feel it in the air.

- Eve, what’s happened to you? You’ve become your own worst nightmare right there. - Bye. And please put a jacket on. It’s freezing out here.- I’m Jon.- I’m Sarah.- Happy anniversary.- When did you get to be so unabashedly romantic?-I think it’s good luck we return each other to the scene of the crime. Cheers. - Cheers.- Oh, I don’t think so. No beverages on the premises. I’m gonna have to ask you to leave.- Hey, how you doing? Don’t you remember me? - Yes, I do.- This is the girl.- Miss Carbon Copy? - Yes. -I see.- This is the guy who helped me…- If you’re not gonna purchase anything, please make room for paying customers. - We do. We want some gloves. Black cashmere gloves. Oh, I’m sorry. - That’ll be the closing bell. Perhaps tomorrow. Store hours 10:00 to 7:00, except Sundays and holidays at the discretion of the management. -He warms up.- Or the possible exception of visiting dignitaries. Oh, no, no, no. Please. On the other side of the counter. You cannot come back here. This is for authorized personnel only. Please remain on the other side of the counter. Thank you very much.