‘Empire of the Sun’ Critical Essay Advice

•Name of text in inverted commas and writer

•Key words of question and how addressed by writer

•Use of evaluative vocabulary

•Use of varied sentencing (subordinate, participle clauses, adverb and comma)

•2 areas that will be addressed in essay (optional)

Introductions

‘Empire of the Sun’, J.G. Ballard’s dramatic and emotive novel set in a war-torn Shanghai, is an intelligent portrayal of how destructive war can be, as seen through the emotional and mental deterioration of the protagonist Jim. Use of imagery and a deep exploration of Jim’s character throughout the novel, all contribute to the vivid illustration of the sacrifice of Jim’s innocence and childhood.

Strengths?

Weaknesses?

‘Empire of the Sun’ was written by the author J.G Ballard and clearly portrays the sorrow and torture that war can ultimately cause. All events in this very powerful novel are based upon Ballard’s own experiences of a childhood during war, deviating from his emotions of excitement and heroics at the start of the war, when he was young and naïve, to the realisation the only outcome can be endless pain and suffering. The novel focuses on the increasing isolation of Jim during the war – from losing his parents to his loneliness in the civilian camps. There are many techniques which are used to show Jim’s emotions throughout the novel, which helps the reader realise the effects of war upon a very naïve child.

Strengths?

Areas to improve?

J.G. Ballard vividly exemplifies the dark consequences of war through the experiences of the protagonist Jim in his dramatic and evocative novel ‘Empire of the Sun.’ Throughout the novel, characterisation and imagery are used to skilfully convey the isolation and suffering Jim encounters in a time of violence and destruction.

Strengths?

Weaknesses?

‘Empire of the Sun’, written by J.G. Ballard, is a powerful novel that portrays the true nature of war, witnessed by its victims. The pain and suffering that the protagonist, Jim, endures effectively highlight the destructive personality of conflict. In the novel, Ballard employs imagery and characterisation to display the irrevocable damage that comes to Jim and the people of China.

Strengths?

Weaknesses?

Conclusions

Throughout the novel it is clear that Ballard has drawn upon powerful and thought provoking emotions to bring Jim ironically to life. Ballard also vividly depicts to the reader the true cruelty of war: the fact that it leaves nothing untouched; it engulfs every single thing around it whether it be a soldier at battle or a child in a prison camp, they are all affected irrevocably. The spirit of a person is broken in war time and Ballard illustrates this through the use of physical and metaphorical death, to affirm the ultimate failure and loss war brings.

At the end of the novel, Jim does not believe the suffering is over and although he survived, his innocence, childhood and hope were all casualties of war. Ballard implies his views through his protagonist Jim, who sees war as pointless after all the pain and death it causes. Ballard clearly depicts the true cruelty of war through the transformation of Jim from a young, hopeful boy into a torn, lost young man who saw death as his only escape.

If focussing on an aspect of style e.g. use of symbolism, personification, paradox – you must make a full analysis of how the style changes and the significance of this. You do not for example write a paragraph on a metaphor, then another on a simile – this is called microanalysis and is not what the SQA want to see - it is a very fragmented approach to a large text.

Ballard’s clever style of personifying the war is intrinsically important in conveying Jim’s changing emotional and mental state as he begins to understand the brutal reality of war. As the war breaks out in the city, the naïve Jim perceives it to be exciting and exhilarating failing to comprehend, what the consequences could be. Thus, Ballard depicts how, to Jim, ‘wars always invigorated Shanghai [and] quickened the pulse of its congested streets.’ Ironically, Jim sees the war positively, bringing some much needed excitement to a young boy bored of his middle-class routine. Subsequently, the reader is aware of how young Jim is at this point and how little he actually comprehends the true nature of war.

However, as Jim’s understanding of the horror and pointlessness of war deepens, and as he himself matures and learns the truth, Ballard personifies war to reflect Jim’s weakening psychological state portraying how all are affected, be it physically, mentally or emotionally. Thus, during his time in the camp, Jim becomes emotionally tormented through his increasing fascination with death, and begins to yearn for it realising the hopelessness of the life he is now leading.

Cleverly, Ballard, depicts how ‘the lines of burial mounds were trying to trick Jim’s eyes; they moved in waves towards the vehicle, a sea of the dead.’ Sadly, Jim no longer sees war as a great adventure: now he simply sees how war will come to claim him.

Through cleverly personifying war, Ballard shows how dramatically Jim has been affected: death is everywhere he looks, and thus he believes it is inevitable that it is drawing ever closer to collect him; therefore, there is no longer any point in trying to strive for survival. Through this clever and effective use of personification, Ballard poignantly depicts how Jim’s strength and hope is deteriorating as he sees how brutal war truly is.

Thus as war has an increasingly destructive effect on Jim, he is overwhelmed with painful emotion having lost his parents and everything he has ever relied on. This is skilfully depicted when he is described as ‘this jewelled icon of a small exploding boy.’ Metaphorically, this explosion stresses how torn apart and overcome by war this eleven year old now is, as well as the profundity of the emotion he has no power over and can no longer keep internalised.

Ballard symbolises the precious nature of childhood which clearly emphasises the value of childhood and its inherent innocence, as something which should be treasured, very much like a precious jewel. Sadly, this is taken from Jim and replaced with a deep and agonising sadness. This evocative use of imagery by the author illustrates how war is ultimately destroying Jim’s childhood, and indeed his life, to portray how many lives were ruined and lost during this time.

You could do this for symbolism, motifs etc. e.g.

•Colourful parachutes of American air drops – metaphorically bringing clolour and abundance back to the city and to Jim, (he finally has food etc.)

•Motif of flies/fish

•Symbolism of atomic bomb/swimming pool etc.

Quotation Layout – 2 methods – can use a mixture of both

Integrating quotes

•Quotes fit in a part of your sentence/words.

•Use square brackets to make fit easier – change I to Jim/he, change verb tense, add words if necessary so it makes sense.

•Tip – use a joining word between your words and quote to help it link together.

Ballard skilfully portrays Jim’s confusion and lack of understanding over the complexities of war, by becoming detached and withdrawn, ‘as if everything that had happened to him since the war was occurring within a mirror.’ Thus, …

Use of a colon

Should only be used if quotation is more that 2 lines – otherwise integrate as it is much more sophisticated and tends to make your points more cohesive.

Topic sentence (basically summing up focus of paragraph)

Quote exactly as it appears on page

Full and detailed analysis of quotation.

War has completely demoralised Jim to the point that only a miracle now will allow him to remain hopeful:

‘If he could raise this dead Japanese pilot he

could raise himself, and the million of Chinese

who had died during the war.’

Clearly, …

If you normally indent, it should look like this:

War has completely demoralised Jim to the point that only a miracle now will allow him to remain hopeful:

‘If he could raise this dead Japanese pilot he could raise himself, and the million of Chinese who had died during the war.’

Clearly, …

Basic Advice

•Fully focus on the question throughout the essay.

•Use sophisticated and varied vocabulary/sentencing (inversion, use of adverb/evaluative word, present participle (ing form of verb.) – will see later.

•Use relevant quotation and analyse and evaluate fully to substantiate your points.

•Don’t use this shows/this reveals etc – too basic/repetitive – just say what it does reveal.

•Absolutely no use of the words quote/quotation.

•Write in present tense – text still exists – Ballard conveys the horrors of war rather than Ballard conveyed the horrors of war.

•Use emotive vocabulary to show you have engaged with the text - horrific, endure, traumatic, sadly etc.

•Clearly convey your stance on the characters/themes etc – not using I.

•Call author by full name, Ballard or the writer/author.

•Call it a novel, not a book (generic term).

•Use transitional markers to link points together – however, thus, although, therefore etc.

•You don’t need to say where quotations etc come from in the novel – mechanical and wastes time.

Through the clever use of personification, Ballard poignantly depicts how dramatically Jim has been affected by the war (inversion of main subject and verb in sentence)

Sadly, Jim no longer sees war as a great adventure: now he simply sees how war will come to claim him. (adverb /evaluative word at start)

(note use of colon – here to offer an explanation – how Jim now sees war.)

Conveying the brutal horror of war, Ballard emotively depicts how devastating Jim’s subsequent loss of innocence and childhood has been: he no longer is the young happy child we saw before the onset of the war, but now has been hardened emotionally, sacrificing his childhood as he has been forced to mature, simply to survive.

(use of present participle –ing form of verb at start – use a comma and make sure you have a subject and verb or will be grammatically incorrect.)

Ballard clearly focuses on the consequences of war conveying this through the protagonist, Jim, and his struggle to survive despite the horror, emotional torment and proximity to death he has bravely endured.

Again note use of present participle to link parts of sentences together – more sophisticated, also helps avoid basic ‘this conveys…’ etc. analysis.

Int 2

Choose a novel or short story which deals with the effects of evil or war or deceit or a breakdown of society or a breakdown in a relationship.

Show how any of these negative pressures affects the main character in the novel or short story and go on to show whether or not she tackles it successfully.

Higher

Choose a novel or short story in which the fate of a main character is important in conveying the writer’s theme.

Explain what you consider the theme to be and discuss how effectively the fate of the character conveys it.

Swap your plan with a partner and get them to read through it. On a separate sheet of A4 note any advice you could offer to help improve it. Be as clear and as detailed as possible. Number paragraphs on sheet of notes so they know exactly what they need to do and where.

•More suitable quotation – and explain why it would be better.

•If a paragraph is not focussing on ? offer them advice on what they could include,

•Topic sentences – if basic/repetitive – write an example of how they could improve it.

•If analysis and evaluation is too basic, not focussed on ?, doesn’t fit quote they have picked – offer them advice on how they could include/expand on to improve it.

Once both partners have done – clearly explain to your partner what they have done well and then focus on the areas for improvement – clearly explaining why they need improvement and how they could do this.

Remember you have 1hr 30 minutes to write 2 critical essays in the exam and you have no notes, plan or text – so this is something you must practise at home in your own time – and not merely what you are set as homework. It is up to you to build these skills. Class time is far too limited, and you must put a lot of effort in at home to help you secure a pass at Int. 2/Higher.

Revision tips:

•Write a plan

•Pick a question and then mind-map as much as you can.

•Revise a text and then set yourself 45 mins and write an essay with no plan, notes etc.

•Practise writing introductions, conclusions, a paragraph of analysis on a set question on the texts you have studied.

•You now have 45 minutes using your plan to write a critical essay.

•At the end of the time put a clear asterisk in the margin so I, and you, can see how far you have got.

•Finish the essay at home.

•This will be marked formatively with advice on how to improve – you won’t get a mark – it’s too early. At this stage we want to make sure you understand how to structure an essay.