Editing

Unit 8 Seminar

Goal:This presentation’s goal is to allow editing

practice by providing sentences for correction.

Question: What is editing?Editing is correcting a document’s errors

and stylistic flaws.Errors may occur in grammar, punctuation,

spelling, use of capital letters, and other areas.

Stylistic flaws can occur when a sentence just doesn’t “sound right” because of awkward word choice or too many words (wordiness).

Step 1: Review Unit 8 Reading.Review the Paramedic Method we are

using in Unit 8.Use that method and your own

judgment to reduce wordiness in the sentences that follow.

Also correct any grammar and punctuation errors you may see.

It is fine to change the sentences completely as long as you retain the original thought.

Step 2: Edit these ten sentences for the Seminar Option 2.1. In order to find a friend of whom one can speak

well, one must be a friend of whom one can speak highly.

2. He has a lot of friends, but he doesn’t know in this day and age which ones are most worthy of his trust.

3. If Julia does not keep her job, it will be due to the fact that she has not arrived on time every single day.

4. Jerome is a writer who has plenty of ideas and not enough time in his daily activity to allow him to write.

5. Protecting our children while they research on the Internet is an activity which can take a lot of time and attention to achieve.

The final five . . .6. They had an argument at the house of

their neighbor.7. The person with the purple hair left a

car in the parking lot of the mall.8. The cat with the striped fur left most of

her food in her bowl.9. The dog was having too much fun while

his owners were away from their home on vacation.

10. We left the keys on the table of the house owned by our boss.

As you edit . . .Keep in mind that a sentence does not

have to be brief to be effective; long sentences can be worthwhile, too.

In fact, an essay’s sentence length and structure should vary.

Some sentences should be brief and others should be longer.

Punctuation and the “sound” of sentences should vary.

However, every word should be necessary.

Paragraphs with too many short sentencesAutism may be caused by injections.

Specifically, the injections given to infants are suspect. Booster shots for tetanus, measles, and Diphtheria may contain thermasol. Thermasol is a preservative made with mercury (Tyson, 2004). Preservatives are added to give the drugs a longer shelf life. Some bodies are not able to process mercury. This may put those people at risk for developing autism at “a rate of more than 500%, particularly those with a familial tendency toward autism” (Jackson, 2006, p.7).

Paragraphs with too many long sentencesIt is seems impossible to not see the link between

injections for children and the rise of autism in our country. Because American children receive a host of preventative inoculations such as measles/mumps/rubella, diphtheria/tetanus, chicken pox, and hepatitis, many experts believe the quality and quantity of the injections are problematic in the long term. With millions of dollars of profit at risk, pharmaceutical companies are choosing to include a mercury preservative that gives these injections a longer shelf life. Thermasol, the mercury preservative in question, leaves a residue behind in the system, and in particular the nervous system (Tyson, 2004). Interrupting the way the way the brain and nerves grow puts people at risk for developing autism at “a rate of more than 500%, particularly those with a familial tendency toward autism” (Jackson, 2006, p.7).

Paragraphs with a balanceIt is seems impossible to not see the link between

injections for children and the rise of autism in our country. Specifically, the injections given to infants are suspect. Because American children receive a host of preventative inoculations such as measles/mumps/rubella, diphtheria/tetanus, chicken pox, and hepatitis, many experts believe the quality and quantity of the injections are problematic in the long term. Thermasol is a preservative made with mercury (Tyson, 2004). Preservatives are added to give the drugs a longer shelf life. Some bodies are not able to process mercury and the nervous system suffers. Interrupting the way the way the brain and nerves grow puts people at risk for developing autism at “a rate of more than 500%, particularly those with a familial tendency toward autism” (Jackson, 2006, p.7).