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Well, maybe not near as bad as the movie, but we are faced with a problem. Pertussis, better known as “whooping cough” is making a comeback. Nine cases in the

Ark-Tex have been reported so far and it could get worse before it gets better.

Pertussis yields symptoms like runny nose, slight coughing fits, and low fevers. and of course it only gets worse from there.

Unless you feel like coughing up all your vital organs and being hospitalized indefinitely, keep your hands clean and check for local vaccinations just in case.

Cathching up on some Christmas shopping? Don’t be suprised if you pick up an escaped convict on the way. Yeah it happened... again. Two killers hiding out at Central Mall in the same month? Sounds like a party. How safe do you feel at the mall these days?

5 things to do this holiday season1. Christmas movie marathon

Snuggies, popcorn and eggnog. What more could you possibly ask for? Don’t answer that. There’s plen-ty of Christmas classics to choose from, too.

2. Donate to the Salvation Army You see them every Christmas

standing out in the cold ringing that bell giving themselves a headache. Why not do some good this holliday season? Every little bit helps.

3. Seasonal treatsYou know you love them. Little

Debbie Christmas Trrees are to die for, the once a year red and green Sour Patch kids are addictive and Peppermint Bark Ghiradelli choco-lates are awe-inspiring.

4. College BowlBrace yourself, because theatre

teacher Debby Sutton is in Chris

5. Take a picture with SantaDon’t mind two dozen screaming

kids at the mall? Or soccer moms hyped up on caffine and eggnog? Why not take a picture with San-ta? What better way to bring home some Christmas cheer?

I don’t hardly ever go to the mall but I belive I can protect my-self.”- brandikern, 12

- mitzazapata, 12

I’m not exactly fond of gun-shots and killers... I’m not going without a large hefty male.”

““

43% of students said no

67% of students said yes

edgepleasant grove high school5406 mcknight road | texarkana, tx | 75503vol. 26 #3 | november 20, 2010

www.pgedgeonline.comcheck us out online>>

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Holiday Edition

Taking the long way

Junior Megan Thigpen’s weekday mornings don’t have a lot of diversity. She wakes up, gets ready and goes to school around the same time every morning and takes the same route. But, early into the year it was obvious that her morn-ing routine would be interrupted by the con-struction process that has taken over Texarkana.

“Getting to school has become harder. I have to take a different route and it’s usually out of the way and takes longer,” says Thigpen. “Sometimes I have to get up ten or fifteen min-utes earlier.”

The construction project began in 2006 and Kenny Icenhower, project engineer for the Texas Department of Transportation, said that construction should be finished by June 2011. Which will make getting around Texarkana eas-ier for everyone.

“The point of the project is to make the roads

more efficient, faster, and easy to get around,” Icenhower said. “We are trying to make it to where the traffic never has to go on the main roads at all.”

According to Icenhower, by the end of the con-struction, we will have one-way frontage roads from Kings Highway to Jefferson Avenue in Ar-kansas. We’ll also have brand new ramps. Anoth-er useful addition, one road under bridges that will allow people to go from one side of the road to the other without having to go through any signals, also known as a “Texas Turnaround.”

Though the work is getting done on time with only minor setbacks, the local residents have some complaints of their own.

“Every time we have construction we have complaints,” Icenhower said. “Construction causes disruption in the community and disturbs people traveling. You don’t know how hard we try to not inconvenience the community.”

To many of the worker’s surprise, the number of expected complaints for such a big projects is

extremely low compared to years past.While construction is slowly becoming less of

a problem for some, many students still encoun-ter some of the same problems they have from the start. Traveling through the heart of the con-struction can seem impossible at times.

“I’m pretty much late to everything anyway, construction just makes it that much worse,” ju-nior Sarah Montgomery said. “And those stupid little barrels are everywhere, I just about whack them everyday.”

According to Icenhower, if weather permits, finishing up the job and moving out should go smoothly.

“We figure it will be done in January or Febru-ary,” Icenhower said. “We’re finishing up State-line and the Nash exit.”

With construction nearing it’s completion, getting around Texarkana should become easier for everybody. New and improved roads, bridges and intersections will keep Texarkana running smoothly for years to come.

nathantaylor austinreynolds

>> reporters

- birdphoto

Construction causes local traffic problems, to be finished by next year

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11events, activities, and news briefly

compiled by Joel Webb, Hayley Allen, Michaela James and Nathan Taylor

10% off deep pore cleansing facial

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“Seussical”See The Cat in the Hat, Horton the Elephant, the Grinch and Cindy Lou on stage in Curtain Call Production’s final performance of the fall musical at 2 p.m. in the Performing Arts Center.

Christmas Band ConcertIf you want to hear some real music, come on down to the PGHS Band Christmas Concert and you’ll be blown away. The competition starts at 7 p.m. featuring all Pleasant Grove bands.

First Day of ClassYou’ll be driving that new car you got for Christmas or texting on that new iPhone. Oh, you didn’t get the good stuff? Sorry. Well, it’s an A day, now that’s what I call a real present.

Martin Luther King HolidayJust nine days of school and you get another holiday. It should always work like this, don’t you think?

All Region Band tryoutsOnce again, the band takes a trip to see who’s the best of the best at the All Region Band tryouts.

HOSA students advance to state.Several HOSA members advanced to the Online Testing Competition. Sarah Smith, Wesley Waddle and Nick Harris advanced to the state competition. Other students advancing to area will be Allison Mayfield, Megan Patterson, Jessica Ross, Peyton DeLoach, Andrew Pierce, and Dylan Smith, Matt Fomby and Tanner Hamilton.

December student of the month:senior Zachary Owen

gimmefive

www.twincitytitle.com

Rate my test

Thursday (A Day) Dec.161st period 8:30-9:503rd period 10:00-11:30Lunch for all students 5th period 12:05- 1:257th period 1:35-2:55

Friday (B Day) Dec. 172nd period 8:30-9:504th period 10:00-11:30Lunch for all students 6th period 12:05- 1:258th period 1:35- 2:55

Semester Exam Schedule

Monica Smith Test: ChemistryFormat: Mostly multiple choice.Difficulty Level: 5Her take on semester ex-ams: Easy, if you study.

Virginia ParkerTest: Health Science Format: Multiple choiceDifficulty Level: 10Her take on semester exams: You will fail if you don’t study.

Katie WhitecottonTest: BiologyFormat: All multiple choice and 1 essay.Difficulty Level: 7Her take on semester exams: You will be fine if you study.

21PGHS Band All Region ClinicThe winners from the All Region tryouts are going to perform in one of the best bands around.

Mr. PGHS

Front row (left to right): michaelward,joshcole, wesleywaddle, dakotablackBack row (left to right): willrussell,matthewclevenger, codymcgee, alexborrell

Who’s the fairest of them all? There won’t be any swimsuits or evening gown competitions, but the third annual Mr. PGHS will be crowned in conjunction with Miss PGHS at the pageant on Jan. 29.

I don’t think it’s good because people will just eat less because they can’t afford the healthy food either.- kishondaniels, 10

Kaitlin SchmidtEditor-in-chief

Sarah SmithSarah Wilson

Editors

Avery BorrellCollin Craytor

David Bird Julie Young

Natalie ThigpenPhotographers

Austin ReynoldsCurtis ZachryHayley AllenJoel Webb

Jordan PickettJosh Whitt

Kenzie FloydMarissa Strebeck

Mark NorthamMichaela JamesNaveed Haque

Noah HutchinsonNathan TaylorTaylor Trippe Reporters

Charla HarrisAdviser

William HarpPrincipal

edgepleasant grove high school5406 mcknight road | texarkana, tx | 75503phone: (903) 832-8005 | fax: (903) 832-5381

It’s a good idea, because people would stop buying so much unhealthy food.- keylidavidson,10

face to face

What do you think about this proposal?

I don’t think it’s necessary because people are going to buy the same food as they always do, whether there’s a tax or not.-syriaramos, 9

The U.S. government has been considering a new tax on unhealthy foods, or a “fat tax.” They hope this will help lower the obesity rate in America.

pagethree

It’s a terrible idea because in this economy people don’t have the extra money to spend.-codycasto, 11

The redhead diaries Embrace what makes you, youGingers, carrot tops, whatever you want to call us, red-

heads. Yep, I’m one of them. It makes no sense to me why people have to give us a bad name. Everyone has physical differences, but it would be stupid to point them out on ev-eryone. So why pick on us redheads?

The names don’t even make sense. Ginger is a light brown color. The tops of carrots are green. And since when are carrots red? We’re redheads, not orangeheads. Gingers have no souls? Oh, okay, I didn’t know you were God. The names are meaningless, old and overused.

In fact, I love being a redhead. It fits perfectly with my personality. I don’t mind standing out and being noticed, even if it’s just for my hair. Over the years I have gotten hun-dreds of compliments on my hair. In a crowd of the regular blonds and brunettes, you can spot us redheads easily.

However, I used to be embarrassed about having red hair. Comments from others just tore me to shreds. Any time I heard the word carrot or ginger—even if it had nothing to do with hair color—I looked down and prayed that no one said anything rude.

But whenever I heard the names, I immediately felt ugly. Feeling ugly is a very hard thing for a teenage girl to deal with. People never realized that it hurt me—they just thought it was funny or something. After a while, I simply got used to it. People would still say things, but I would ig-nore it. The names didn’t mean anything to me.

I finally realized that I have to love who I am and embrace it. I wasn’t made this way on accident—none of us were. When people call me ginger or carrot top or whatever the heck they want, I smile. It might sound weird, but I take it as a compliment. Every comment or name that I have thrown at me reminds me of my hair, and that reminds me why I am who I am. I used to feel ugly when I heard the names, but now I feel pretty.

By learning to love myself I have taken loads of stress and hurt off my shoulders. Call me a ginger. It won’t bother me.

You don’t have to be a redhead to relate. Whatever your difference is—whether it’s your hair, your size, your race, your style, whatever—embrace it. Love yourself for who you are, and never feel like you should have to be someone else.

kenziefloyd,reporter

Editorial policyEdge is produced by the

newspaper students in the publications department of Pleasant Grove High School and are responsible for its production and content. The newspaper serves as an open forum for student expression and the discussion of issues of concern to students.

Unsigned editorials represent the opinions of the student staffers and do not necessarily reflect those of the administration. Signed columns and reviews reflect the opinion of the author only.

Edge encourages and accepts letters to the editor. Letters must be signed and will be edited to eliminate obscenity and inappropriate content. Letters may be submitted to the editor in room 603.

Edge is a member of the Interscholastic League Press Conference, National Scholastic Press Association and Columbia Scholastic Press Association.

If you have trouble getting the perfect gift, don’t say we didn’t warn you

nathantaylor,reporter

By the time I was ten, I had learned the three most important lessons re-garding Christmas. One, nothing says “you’re not worthy” like a lump of coal in your stocking. Two, never buy your mother anything even distantly related to weight loss. And three, anyone who says “fabulous” has problems.

I’m telling you this, not because it amuses me to imagine the look on your face right now, but because I un-derstand just how tough the holiday season can be. Whether it’s grandpa passed out in the eggnog (...again) or being smothered in the snow by an enraged soccer mom hyped up on caf-feine, I get it, Christmas is hard. It’s one of those holidays sometimes better forgotten. Think about it, fewer people trampled per year, no radio stations being taken over by Rudolph’s favor-ite songs, pure and utter bliss. But ev-eryone loves presents, so don’t expect Christmas to be forgotten just like that.

If you have your heart set on sur-viving this holiday season, heed my words and proceed with caution. Like I said before, coal is for the unworthy. Believe me, I’m an expert. They don’t give these pointy ears out to just any-one you know. But let’s get to the point, surviving Christmas is all about giving the right gift, knowing how to play the

field and making good eggnog.For girlfriends:Girls are easy to get, treat them

like a person, then a princess, then a Greek goddess, then a person again, after that you’re in (if you’re into that whole commitment thing). But as we all know, gift giving is a bit harder. Now guys, you know those moments when your girl is talking to you and you slowly drown out the sound of her voice and think about happier things like football? That’s when you’re sup-posed to listen. Girls talk about what they want a lot. Listen every once in a while and Christmas will go much smoother this year.

3 things to never give your girl-friend

•FlowersThis is Christmas, not an anniversa-

ry. Try a little harder than that. And if you must, get her a potato. Flowers die, potatoes grow stuff. Is that love I smell?

•Anything related to weight lossIf I even have to explain this, you

don’t even deserve to be in a relation-ship.

•Anything only you likeThis includes, but is not limited to,

football novelties, a 25-year subscrip-tion to Sports Illustrated, Instant Ra-men, or something you gave your ex-

girlfriend last year.For boyfriends:Listen up now... or better yet, don’t

listen at all. Guys don’t talk about what they want for Christmas, they probably don’t even care. They love you, (or at least they should) and that’s all that really matters. Little presents for little brains. Shop accordingly. See, now wasn’t that easy?

3 things to never give your boy-friend

•Stuffed animals of any kindNothing says über masculine like a

neon pink, mega-plush stuffed bunny. And if you haven’t noticed by now, that was sarcasm.

•Your favorite ‘chick-flick’“Sex and the City”? “The Note-

book”? Huge mistake. “Transformers” is always a safe choice.

•Your ex-boyfriend’s favorite co-logne

What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him, but in the unfortunate case that you call him by the wrong name, you’ll have some explaining to do.

DISCLAIMER: I’m not really an elf. Just short. I don’t even have pointy ears. I can’t be held responsible for completely ruining your Christmas. So yeah, good luck with that.

An undercover elf’s guide to gift giving

staff editorialExemption requirements should modify absence policy

School says you can only miss four days of school to still be exempt from your semester ex-ams. Mom says you better stay in bed if you’re running a fever. So, do you go to school coughing and stuffy or risk losing your exemptions?

The fact that exemptions are partially based on absences in a class period isn’t a good system. Especially since the number of absences you’re allowed is as low as four. What about those kids who make themselves come to school even though they’re deathly ill and risk infecting more kids? A student can have a 98 average in a class, but if they’ve missed three days of school then they must not be good enough students to de-serve an exemption.

Basing exemptions on tardies and grades is reasonable. There’s no good reason to be late to a class and grades should obviously be a huge factor in the exemption qualifications.

But even the best student in school isn’t im-mune from getting the flu.

And when that student gets sick and would rather pass out than not be exempt from semes-ter exams, they come to school and cough their germs on innocent students walking by no matter what precautions are taken.

The student handbook says that a student can petition to be exempted from compulsory atten-dance, but who reads that anyway? Instead, the school should promote good attendance in other ways (like a special lunch for students with per-fect attendance) that doesn’t make students force themselves to come to school no matter how ill they are.

The exemption policy should be modified be-cause it promotes more than just perfect atten-dance, it promotes coming to school even when students are sick.

- pickettillustration

Sophomore Jessica Shipp

Junior Abby Pickett

Instead of a sleigh ride, the Art Club decorated a school bus for Christmas and drove around to three different houses for a progressive dinner. “It was a weird and hilarious experience,” Shipp said. “I don’t think I’ll ever find another chance to ride on a school bus decked out for Christmas.”

1.Elf2. The Santa Clause3. Santa Baby4. The Grinch5. Home Alone

For the past two years, Debby Sutton and the theater department have taken over Christmas in the lobby and front office. Although it is put up to provide Christmas

cheer, it’s also a way to represent all of the clubs in the school.

Each club has an ornament on the tree and here, we check in with representatives of some of these clubs.

Art Club

Lovely weather for a bus ride

Top 5 Christmas movies

What Christmas trees are made ofChristmas decorations represent school clubs, organizations

kenziefloyd >> reporter

Sophomore Alan Oubre1. Lil’ Debbie Snack Cakes2. Sugar cookies3. Eggnog4. Smoked ham5. Hot chocolate

Top 5 Christmas treats

Keyettes

Soccer

Senior Jonathan Curtis

Senior Jared Mayfield

1. I’ll be home for Christmas 2. Sleigh Ride 3. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer4. Jingle Bells5. I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas

HOSA students competed in a Phar-macology contest last week, and three students automatically qualified to go to state. “The test was pretty hard. I didn’t know a lot of the drugs and that

hurt me,” Mayfield said. Senior Sarah Smith, however, took second place and will compete at state in Corpus Christie in April.

Top 5 Christmas songsBand

HOSA

Bringing home the gold

Freshman Erika Rodriguez1. Shopping for presents2. Drinking hot chocolate3. Watching Christmas movies4. Opening presents5. Catching up with family

Top 5 Christmas activities

Spanish Club

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The privilege of freedom

Don’t miss it—Friday at 7pm and Sun-day at 2pm in the PAC; admission is free

Hearing a whoCurtain Call Productions performs “Seussical the Musical” for the public this weekend

Senior Jiwon Na paused as she picked out her clothes for the school day. She chose skinny jeans, boots, a designer sweater, and jewelry. Fashion to her wasn’t just what she was going to wear for the day-- it was another way she could express herself. Jiwon was finally getting used to having the privilege of being creative through fashion and art.

Jiwon hasn’t always felt this way. School uniforms and core classes didn’t leave much room for self-expression.

Jiwon and her twin sister, Ji Soo, experienced a culture shock when they moved to America from Korea.

“At first, everything was different and weird, but now I feel comfortable,” Ji Soo said. “America has much more personal freedom in many ways. I was able to find myself through art.”

In Korea, self-expression isn’t encouraged. Jiwon and Ji Soo’s former school had mainly core classes, strict rules, and required all students to wear uniforms.

After moving to a completely different country, the sisters were able to relate to part of America’s culture because they got involved in art. Their passive, quiet side has been replaced by their expressive, artistic lifestyles.

Art became the twins’ passion when they began school in America. The art classes in Korea didn’t allow as much inde-pendence as the classes in America do.

“Korean art classes weren’t as much fun,” Ji Soo said. “We mainly painted still lives and had to follow strict guidelines. Here, art is much more enjoyable because you are able to design whatever you want.”

Art isn’t the only difference between the two countries. When they first arrived in America, the twins liked the country be-cause everything was new and exciting, but after spending a few weeks in the country, they began to feel like everything was different and got homesick.

“We didn’t know how to speak English, and that made us feel like complete strangers. It was very frustrating when you couldn’t even communicate with others,” Ji Won said.

After countless hours of hard studying and watching Ameri-can TV, Jiwon and Ji Soo are finally able to read, write, and speak English. Learning the language was very hard for the twins, and they are still improving some of their speaking skills.

“When I’m talking to someone in English, sometimes I have to stop and think about what they said before replying.” Ji Soo said. “At home, we usually speak in Korean, and sometimes I get confused and I may even reply in English.”

Their family left almost everything in Korea and started over when arriving in America. They got new furniture, clothes, and had to get used to the culture. The reason that their family moved was to have a better place to grow up for the children through good education, opportunities and freedom.

“We enjoy our freedom the most.” Jiwon said. “Now that we have learned how to express ourselves, we can embrace the dif-ferences that once made us feel like strangers.”

Even after all the hardships and complications, Jiwon and Ji Soo in no way regret moving to America.

“Everything that was so different in the beginning is normal to us now,” Ji Soo said. “Although it’s not our homeland, Amer-ica is our home.”

kenziefloyd >> reporter

- birdphoto

1: Sophomore Braxton Johnson 2: Sophomores Braxton Johnson and Austin Reynolds 3: Sophomore Samantha Huang and junior Miriam Johann 4: Junior Jarrod Meyers and senior Alex Seames- youngphotos

Twins embrace their individuality after moving to America

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Face time

It’s so cold that soccer moms (and dads) bring heaters to the early season games. With freezing temperatures and chilling winds, how do you stay warm at the soccer games?

Patriots vs. Falcons and the Falcons because they’re closer to home.”

- lukebultemeier, sophomore“

edge

onth

e

What teams will play in the Su-per Bowl, and who will win?

Patriots will play the Eagles and Philly will end up winning because of Vick.”“

- kendricksmith, asst. principal

What are your expectations for basketball season? “We definitely want to make it to district. Going farther would be great, and the chances are good because LE is the biggest contender and isn’t used to the way we play.”What area does the team really need to improve on? “Just getting rebounds. If we dominate control of the ball, our odds of winning just go up.”The team lost a lot of talent last year. Who has stepped up to take their place? “Jacob Harmon and Nick Cockerell have both done a great job filling the space that they left.”How does the team this year stack up to last years? “We don’t have as much physi-cal potential, but we work to-gether much better as a team.”

pageseven

“I wrap up in everything. Hat, coats, gloves, blankets, whatever.” -meganmorphis, 10

“I wear lots of layers. Mittens, hats, coats, Uggs. And I make friends with people who have heaters.” -haleighkatewright, 12

“I walk around the whole time to keep warm.” -benbooker, 12

Q&A with

As senior Chris Tatum leans down to tie his shoe, he takes a quick breather. Two miles down and only two more to go. As Tatum passes head coach Matt Wright, he hears a word of encouragement to keep running. All of this running is part of the new soccer coach’s practice schedule making sure his players are in shape for the upcoming season.

Though Wright is new to being a head soccer coach, he is not new to the game or a coaching role. He grew up playing the game.

“I played soccer in both high school at Pine Tree, and then I went on to play for SFA at the col-lege level. While I was in college I

decided to become a student coach at UT—Tyler,” Wright said. “I was also the assistant coach at Kilgore high school. Then I found the head coaching job at Pleasant Grove, called coach Davis and met with him and now I have my first head coaching job at a school.”

Wright has set several goals for his team and has a good feeling for the team. Even though it is early in the season, Wright can tell the team has a lot of potential.

“My first goal for the team this year is to beat Mt. Pleasant and Pittsburgh because if you beat them then you win district,” Wright said. “Even though the team has only practiced a couple of weeks, I think we can make the playoffs and hope-

fully we will make it out of the first round of the playoffs for the first time in school history.”

This season Wight is planning to put his own unique coaching style on the team.

Wright plans to stress a lot of con-ditioning for the team this year. After hearing of a few games that could have been won if the team had not been so winded, he is planning for some big changes.

In his fourth season playing for the Hawks, senior Tatum is prepar-ing to take over as one of the leaders this season for the team.

“The captains for the team this season are Heath [Coston, senior]Matthew [Clevenger, senior] and Tatum,” Wright said. The team

captains have a huge responsibility of leading the team not only on the field, but off the field also.

Tatum is ready for the season to get under way and says he has a good feeling about the upcoming season.

“I am aiming for the team to make the playoffs,” Tatum said.

The team is confident the team will be able to win under the direc-tion of Wright. Wright is making some big changes for the team this year. Changing the formations and learning new plays the team is not looking for a losing season, but the soccer team is looking to go very far in the playoffs.

The Hawks’ first game is Jan. 14 against Liberty Eylau.

curtiszachry >> reporter

Sophomore Claire Rikel and juniors Sarah Montgomery, Jessica Ross

JV Girls’ Basketball

Head coach: Jenny Coon 2010 record: 9-4Team to beat: Liberty-Eylau. “L-E’s varsity girls are returning state cham-pions so they should obviously have a good JV team,” Coon said.The leaders: The upperclassmen, Claire Rikel. Sarah Montgomery, Jessica Ross, are really maturing and turning out to be great team leaders,” Coon said.

Varsity Boys’ Basketball

Head coach: Clay Busby2010 record: 19-19Standout: sophomore Alex Alsup who scored 21 against Waskom in the opening game.Returning: Reggie Myrks and LaDarium Reid.What it will take to win: “We need to come together as a team and play with heart,” sophomore Nick Cockerell said.

Sophomore Reggie Myrks

OntheradarLaDarius Reid

Stopping the Paris defender, senior Chris Tatum prepares for this season after a good run last year. “I’m hoping we can finish in the top two teams this season,” Tatum said. - birdphoto

Upcoming games:Boys’ Varsity Basketball12/14- Carthage12/17- @ YantisGirls’ Varsity Basketball12/14-Henderson12/17- @ Detroit

Team starts off soccer season with a good run, hope to make playoffs

Kicking it into gear

The new Swiss Army knife It’s beginning to look a lot like...

Use #2: hammerIf it can crack teeth, we figured it’d be

able to knock in a nail. So, Caleb donned his hard hat and protective eye wear (just in case of fruitcake shrapnel) and put it to the test. The notorious pastry actually managed to hammer the nail about a centimeter into a fence picket. As it start-ed to call for a little more muscle though, the fruitcake’s legendary outer skin gave under the impact. Don’t rely on it for any winter vampire slaying, but if you need to hang a picture frame, fruitcake is the dessert for the job.

Use #1: poker chipsAfter noticing the almost plastic-y tex-

ture of the holiday “treat,” the first thing that came to mind was poker chips. You don’t even have to go to the trouble of cutting up the chips yourself. We got it in a conveniently pre-sliced brick. Without a few different varieties, you’ll only have one value of chip, and it’ll leave a clear coat of festive nonsense if you slide them across the table, but they’ll hold up for at least a few games.

Even people who have never tried a fruitcake are under the impression that it’s this mythically disgusting substance. It’s supposedly heavy enough to use as cement shoes, hard enough to break teeth and too nasty for even a dog to eat. Even if it’s deemed inedible, however, this supposedly indestructible material could be put to good use with a little in-genuity. Seniors Caleb Taylor and Noah Hutchinson spent an afternoon with a few blocks of pre-packaged fruitcake from Super One and put it to the test.

Use #3: improvised weaponAs soon as I picked up the bag at

the checkout line, I could feel the smile spread across my face. Just feeling the weight of three fruitcakes in a grocery bag is a little empowering. So, as any logical person would, I went home, put on my riot gear and let Caleb take a shot at me with it. We were entertained with it until the pillowcase finally split across the bottom and the fruitcake was pulped, but it only took one hit to see that if you get clocked with a pillowcase full of fruit-cake, you won’t be home for Christmas. compiled by Nathan Taylor and Noah Hutchinson - birdphotos

1. What was the name of Ralphie’s brother on a Christmas Story?2. What was Turbo Man’s catch phrase in Jingle All The Way?3. In the Grinch theme song, how long of a pole would the speaker not touch the Grinch with?4. Why, at one point in time, was fruitcake made illegal?5. Who first decorated the Christmas tree?6. What river did George Washington and his men

cross on Christmas morning?7. What was the first Tim Allen Christmas movie?8. Where was the original Santa Clause from?9. In Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer, what did the elf really want to be?10. What is the name of the rabbit in the magic hat in Frosty the Snowman?11. What was Frosty the Snowman’s nose made of?12. Who is the author of ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas?13. What movie is the song What’s This? from?14. What is the name of Jack’s love interest in A Nightmare Before Christmas?15. Who invented Christmas lights?

Are you smarter than a reindeer?

Answers:1. Randy Parker2. “It’s Turbo-Time”3. 39 and a half foot pole4. Victorian Era because it was “sinfully rich”5. Martin Luther began the tradition of decorating trees

to celebrate Christmas6. The Delaware River7. “The Santa Clause” in 19948. He was born in a village on the southern coast of Turkey9. A Dentist

10. Hocus Pocus11. A button12. Clement Clarke Moore13. A Nightmare Before Christmas14. Sally15. Edward Johnson, Thomas Edison’s Assistant

In the kitchen with NoahIced sugar cookies. A staple of yuletide spirit and holiday cheer. The

smell from those warm, sugary, homemade treats is second only to scented pine cones in terms of bringing about Christmas spirit. But, not everybody has found their inner pastry chef yet. Never fear, it takes very little effort to pop a couple of batches out, so even the common man can embrace that festive feeling.

First: Mix a few gallons of gasoline, a motor vehicle and 10-15 minutes. Bam, you’ve got a trip to Wal- Mart, where you can pick up a tube of pre-made cookie dough.

Second: After the dough has been purchased and you’re back in the kitchen, lay out some wax paper and sprinkle a fine coating of flour over it (to keep the dough from sticking).

Third: Cut the tube of dough open and lay it out on the wax paper.

Forth: Take a rolling pin, sprinkle a little flour over it and roll it out onto a sheet of whatever thickness you want your cookies to be.

Fifth: Take cookie cutters (which better be Christmas themed) and press them into the dough. For a little more creativity, you can also use an exacto knife to draw out your own shapes.

Sixth: After you’ve peeled away the excess dough from your shapes, you can set it aside to use for another batch. Be sure to keep it cold so your shapes will hold up.

Seventh: Take your raw cookies and lay them on a ungreased cookie sheet covered with a layer of wax paper.

Eighth: Pop them in the oven and fol-low the cooking direc-tions for the dough you bought.

Ninth: After your cookies have baked, put on your oven mit and pull out the cookie sheet. As far as icing goes, you can either use the frosting in a can or tube, or make your own. To go the homemade route, pour powdered sugar into a bowl, and then add a little milk at a time. Stir it up, and add milk as needed to get the con-stancy you want.

Finally: After the icing/frosting/sprin-kles/decorative hog-

wash has been added to the cookies, they’re finally done. At that point, there’s nothing left to do but sit down and enjoy with a good Christmas movie, a glass of eggnog and a feeling of accomplishment.