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“In this new edition of Eat-ing Mindfully, Susan Albersgives more advice to thosewho truly care about whatthey eat. This book will helpthe consumer understandthat the choices we makeeach day about what we buyhave differing impacts onthe world around us and onour own health. Hers is areasoned voice in an envir-onment where the fast foodindustry is still urging us tobuy cheap food, not reveal-ing the hidden costs. If youwant to be healthy and careabout a healthy planet, thisis a book that will help you.”

—Jane Goodall,PhD, DBE,founder of the

Jane Goodall In-stitute and a Un-ited NationsMessenger ofPeace

“Albers guides you withcompassion and great in-sight through a journey intoyour eating habits. How youeat will be transformed andyour relationship with foodwill be revolutionized.”

—Margaret Floyd,NTP, author ofEat Naked

“Eating Mindfully is a must-have book for people whowant to deepen their mind-

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body connection through theexperience of eating. It ischock-full of practical skill-building steps and written ina genuinely compassionatemanner that will inspire you.Inner peace begins withcompassion from within, notfrom perpetual food fights atthe dinner table or withinthe battleground of yourmind. This book will showyou how to tap your innateability to make peace withyour eating. Eating Mind-fully is a welcome respite.”

—Evelyn Tribole,MS, RD, coau-thor of IntuitiveEating

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“This is a simple and power-ful book—one that takes thereader on a journey withinto find solutions to their ownindividual eatingdifficulties.”

—Denise Lamothe,PsyD, HHD, au-thor of The Tam-ing of the Chew

“The practice of mindful eat-ing is like going on an arche-ological dig through layers ofsymptoms to the truth un-derneath. Albers has givenus an excellent map! Herbook makes clear that prob-lem eating can be a greatteacher if only we stop tolisten. I highly recommend

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this gentle, respectful, prac-tical guide.”

—Lindsey Hall, au-thor of Bulimia:A Guide to Re-covery andAnorexia Ner-vosa: A Guide toRecovery

“We eat to live, yet some ofus lose perspective and con-trol of our relationship withfood. Albers, drawing uponthe powerful integration ofEastern wisdom andWestern science, guides usalong a practical journey ofmindfulness pointing to ac-ceptance of our bodies andourselves.”

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—Thomas F. Cash,PhD, professor ofpsychology atOld DominionUniversity andauthor of TheBody ImageWorkbook

“Susan Albers explores cru-cial spiritual dimensionsthat are so often overlookedin our relationship withfood. Readers will easilyidentify the habits that trapthem in cycles of mindlessdieting, bingeing, and chaot-ic eating and help them cul-tivate a compassionate rela-tionship between mind,

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body, thoughts, andfeelings.”

—Rita Freedman,PhD, author ofBodylove:Learning to LikeOur Looks andOurselves

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Publisher’s Note

This publication is designed to provide accurateand authoritative information in regard to thesubject matter covered. It is sold with the under-standing that the publisher is not engaged in ren-dering psychological, financial, legal, or otherprofessional services. If expert assistance orcounseling is needed, the services of a competentprofessional should be sought.

Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books

Copyright © 2012 by Susan Albers

New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

5674 Shattuck Avenue

Oakland, CA 94609

www.newharbinger.com

Cover design by Amy Shoup; Text design byMichele Waters-Kermes;

Acquired by Catharine Meyers; Edited by MarisaSolis

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-PublicationData

Albers, Susan, Psy.D.

Eating mindfully : how to end mindless eating andenjoy a balanced relationship with food / SusanAlbers ; foreword by Lilian Cheung. -- 2nd ed.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN 978-1-60882-330-7 (pbk. : alk. paper) --ISBN 978-1-60882-331-4 (pdf e-book) -- ISBN978-1-60882-332-1 (epub)

1. Food habits--Psychological aspects. 2. Eating(Philosophy) 3. Awareness. I. Title.

TX357.A395 2012

641.01’3--dc23

2012003626

All Rights Reserved

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This book is dedicated to my favoritedining companions—Brookie & Jack.

Author’s Note

Shortly after I began working as a

therapist, I became mindful of theenormous amount of suffering thathunger, weight, and eating issuescause. This book is my attempt tohelp prevent further suffering and toprovide comfort to those alreadytouched by it. For this reason, I dedic-ate this book to all those who arestruggling to overcome mindless eat-ing. I wish you the best on your jour-ney to a mindful relationship withfood.

ContentsAuthor’s Note

Foreword

Acknowledgments

Introduction

The Four Foundations ofMindfulness

What Kind of Mindless EaterAre You?

PART I: MINDFULNESS OF THEMIND

1. Awareness: Awakening Your Mind

2. Observing What’s on Your Mind

3. Moment-to-Moment Eating

4. Balancing What You Eat with How YouEat

5. Mindful Meals: Contemplating Food

6. Minding How You Eat

7. Emotional Categorizing

8. Sitting Still with Your Pain

9. Living in the Now

10. What’s on Your Mind? Not on YourPlate!

11. The Compassionate Mind

12. Dealing with the Blues Mindfully

13. “Letting It Go” Mindfully

14. Letting Go of Dieting

15. Six Sense Perceptions

16. Using Your Sense of Smell

17. Minding Your Body

18. Minding the “Just NoticeableDifference”

PART II: MINDFULNESS OFTHE BODY

19. Meditation: Studying Your Body’sCues Mindfully

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20. Releasing Body Tension with MindfulBreathing

21. Moving Your Body Mindfully

22. Mindful Movement

23. Acknowledging ConsequencesMindfully

24. Letting Go of Your Former and/or Fu-ture Body

25. Mindfulness of Mirrors

26. Getting Dressed Mindfully

27. Hunger: Listening to Your BodyMindfully

28. How Much Do You WeighPsychologically?

29. Mindful Cravings

30. Walking or Running “The MiddleWay”

31. Should You Clean Your Plate?

32. Fine-Tuning Your Palate

PART III: MINDFULNESS OFFEELINGS

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33. Mindfully Coping with EmotionalEating

34. Enduring Difficult Moods

35. Mindful Metaphors: Visualizing YourFeelings

36. Taking a Mindful Breath

37. Mindful Eating and Relationships

38. Heart versus Hunger Cravings

39. Mindful Holiday Feasting

40. Dining Out Mindfully

41. Accepting Your Genes

42. Changing Mindless Eating Traps

43. Filling Up on Fun

44. The Mindful Mirror

PART IV: MINDFULNESS OFTHOUGHTS

45. Mindful and Mindless Contemplation

46. Changing Mindless Thinking

47. Impartial Thoughts

48. Mindful Imagery

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49. Mindful Realism

50. Thinking Out Mindful Meals

51. Hearing Your Inner Food Critic

52. Enhancing Your Eating Memory

53. Minding the Inch

54. Minding Your Worries

55. Mindful Practice

PART V: MINDFUL EATINGMOTIVATIONS

Checklist for Emotional Eaters

Mindful Eating Quotations

Top Ten Mindfulness Motivators

Who Can Help You to Eat Mindfully?

Practical Solutions for Everyday MindlessEating Scenarios

Resources

References

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Foreword

Food is essential to sustain our

lives. Yet our relationship with foodin the twenty-first century has be-come both complex and challenging.

Nutrition science has made majoradvances over the past thirty years,and we all know that what we chooseto eat affects our health and that wecan significantly reduce our risk ofgetting diabetes, high blood pressure,stroke, heart disease, and other debil-itating diseases by making healthyfood choices. Though nutrition advicein the media can be confusing attimes, we are not lacking in science-based information on what to eat tomaintain our health.

So, in the face of this broad under-standing, the primary question be-comes: why do so many people makefood choices that can be damagingnot only to the their physical healthbut also to their emotional well-be-ing? The answer lies in oursurroundings.

We are living in what many call a“toxic food environment.” Sadly,many of us are not fully aware of justhow toxic it is—and how it affects us.We are surrounded by supersized andsuperprocessed foods and beveragesthat we can eat and drink almost any-where: in the car, at the shoppingmall, at our desks. Scientists are in-vestigating whether these highly pro-cessed foods can cause changes in ourbrains that lead us to devour far morefood than our bodies need—a state

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that some call “conditionedhypereating.”

We also live in a toxic media en-vironment. Through televisions, com-puters, smartphones, and other me-dia, our senses are constantly bom-barded with images and commercialsdriving us to eat more. The assault isunending. The result: we are condi-tioned to incessantly overeat, overrid-ing our sense of fullness again andagain. The media also perpetuates theideal of thinness, leading us to be dis-satisfied with our bodies. This pervas-ive uneasiness with our size andshape can lead to disordered eatingand, potentially, to eating disorders.

Our hectic modern lives certainlydon’t help us make wiser foodchoices. The pace of life was muchslower before the arrival of the

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Internet. People did not expect us toreply to their letters within the sameday. Nowadays, with e-mail as ourmajor mode of communication, weare bombarded with correspondencewith the expectation of a reply withinhours, even minutes. Multitaskinghas become a way of life, and werarely pay attention to what we eat,how we eat, why we eat what we eat,and how much we eat. In otherwords, we eat mindlessly.

Stress contributes to mindless eat-ing, and this stress-eating connectionis all the more worrisome because theUnited States is in the middle of astress epidemic. The majority ofAmericans experience moderate tohigh levels of stress, and many peoplerespond to stress by overeating oreating unhealthy foods. Stress ad-versely affects our whole being,

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including our immune and cardiovas-cular systems. It is also associatedwith depression and heart disease.

What’s the culmination of allthese societal conditions and trends?The obesity epidemic, with all of itsdire health and economic con-sequences. In the United States, oneout of three adults is obese. If the epi-demic is not controlled, half of alladult Americans may be obese by2030. Meanwhile, eating disordersand disordered weight control arecommon among our youth.

Why is this so alarming? Obesityaffects every organ in our bodies. Itincreases the risks of diabetes, highblood pressure, stroke, heart disease,depression, and other major chronicdiseases. Our health care system isalready overwhelmed, and obesity

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may drive it to the breaking point.Furthermore, if we do not turn theobesity epidemic around, this genera-tion of children may have shorter lifespans than their parents. Eating dis-orders and disordered weight controlbehaviors can also have dire healthconsequences, such as heart andgastrointestinal problems, osteo-porosis, psychiatric illness, substanceuse, and risk of premature death. Aswe are now beginning to learn, eatingdisorders and obesity share similarrisk factors—among them dieting,media exposure, and body dissatisfac-tion—and these similarities are driv-ing researchers to explore whether wecan take a broader look at prevention.

What can be done to reverse theworrisome social trends? During thepast few decades, public health ex-perts have shifted to emphasize social

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responsibility for healthy eating. Weneed to foster healthy communities toensure that healthy choices are easychoices for all. Yet we cannot ignorepersonal responsibility, for the simplefact is that what and how muchpeople decide to eat determines theirultimate health status.

One promising solution to keep uson the healthy-eating and healthy-liv-ing track while reducing our stress isthe practice of mindfulness. Simplyput, mindfulness means being com-pletely aware of all that is withinourselves and around us, from mo-ment to moment, without precon-ceived notions, using a beginner’smind. Mindfulness can be cultivatedthrough meditative practice, and itcan also be woven into our everydaylives and actions. People from allwalks of life have practiced

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mindfulness for thousands of years asa way to maintain their health andwell-being. Yet scientists have onlyrecently shown increased interest inthe effect of mindfulness on health.For example, the National Institutesof Health funded only three studieson mindfulness in 1999. In 2010, itfunded over 100 studies. Areas of re-search include the effect of mindful-ness practice on stress reduction, de-pression, hot flashes, addiction, irrit-able bowel syndrome, parenting, dia-betes, cancer survival, disordered eat-ing, and weight management.

There are ongoing studies sug-gesting that mindfulness practice canalter the way our brains function, andrecent advances in neurobehavioralresearch support a new framework ofweight management based on howbrain processes affect eating behavior

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via the food reward system. This is es-pecially challenging because we areliving in an obesity-promoting envir-onment with many opportunities forreinforcing food rewards. Increas-ingly, experts view mindfulness prac-tice and training of the mind as im-portant approaches that can helppeople deal with such environments,maintain their healthy weight, andhave a healthy relationship with food.

Susan Albers recognized the im-portance of mindful eating decadesago when she was an exchange stu-dent in Japan. She was among thefirst to introduce the concept ofmindful eating to the public when shereleased the first edition of EatingMindfully in 2003. Her book offers alucid and compelling introduction tothe essential concepts of mindful eat-ing. And it offers concrete exercises

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that show us how to use mindfulnesspractice—namely, mindfulness of themind itself, the body, our feelings,and our thoughts—to transform ouruneasy relationship with food. Welearn how to hear our inner “foodcritic,” how to sort out cravings of theheart from cravings of hunger, andhow to break out of the routine ofmindless eating. This second editionbuilds on her extensive experienceworking with patients and clients. Itis a treasure for all of us.

—Lilian Cheung,DSc, RDCoauthor, Savor:Mindful Eating,Mindful LifeEditorial Direct-or, The NutritionSource,www.thenutritionsource.org,

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Department ofNutrition, Har-vard School ofPublic Health

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AcknowledgmentsA noble person is mindful and thank-ful for the favors he receives fromothers.

—Buddha

Thank you to New Harbinger

Publications for enthusiastically sug-gesting the second edition of EatingMindfully! I appreciate the opportun-ity to update readers with the latestmindful eating information and toshare many more mindful eating tips.During the past few years, there havebeen several advances in mindful eat-ing. Since Eating Mindfully was pub-lished, I’ve written four more bookson how to eat mindfully and cope

with comfort eating. I hope to writemany more.

I also graciously thank all thereaders for their feedback on the firstedition of Eating Mindfully. If thisbook touched one life, it completed itsmission. I’m happy to say, based onthe reader response, that it hastouched many. I’m sending you avirtual thank-you for inviting thisbook into your life and onto your kit-chen table.

Thank you to the professionalswho are doing research and teachingothers about mindful eating. I admireyour passion and dedication. Some ofthese individuals I know personally,others I’ve exchanged e-mails with,and a few I have never met but haveadmired their work from afar. Theseinclude Jean L. Kristeller, Ruth Q.

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Wolever, Evelyn Tribole, Elyse Resch,Michael Pollan, Dean Ornish, JeffreyBrantley, Jan Chozen Bays, Dr. JaneGoodall, Geneen Roth, Ruth Baer,Jon Kabat-Zinn, Marsha Linehan,Debra Safer, Megrette Fletcher, Mari-on Nestle, Christopher Garmen, EllenLanger, Lilian Cheung, Thich NhatHanh, Brian Wansink, Jamie Oliver,Mark Bittman, Dr. Mehmet Oz, Dr.Michael Roizen, Ron Siegal, Steven C.Hayes, Zindel Segal, Mark Williams,John Teasdale, and Daniel Siegal.These are just a few people on quite along list. There are many more fant-astic professionals dedicated to help-ing people transform their relation-ship to food and embrace mindfuleating.

As always, the New Harbingerstaff is incredibly supportive and ex-tremely helpful in the process of

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making my books come to life. Theyinclude Catharine Meyers, EarlitaChenault, Jess Beebe, Adia Colar,Julia Kent, Michele Waters, AmyShoup, and many more.

To those who keep me mindful offamily and friendship: Dr. VictoriaGould, Susan Heady, John Bowling,Eric Lingenfelter, Jane Lindquist Les-niewski, Betsy Beyer Swope, Dr.Jason Grief, Dr. Angela Albers, LindaSerotta, Carmela Albers, Dr. ThomasAlbers, Rhonda Bowling, John Bowl-ing, and Jim Bowling.

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Introduction

How common and effortless it is to

eat in an uncontrolled, unaware,mindless manner. If you’ve ever con-tinued to snack when you were full,cut calories despite being hungry, orused guilt to guide your eating, you’veexperienced mindless eatingfirsthand. Let’s face it. Deciding whatto eat is not an easy task. It’s so trickythat in the United States eating con-cerns and weight obsessions havereached epidemic proportions, withserious health, emotional, and eco-nomic consequences for a large partof the population. We desperatelyneed something new to help us

overcome these issues—and mindfuleating might be the answer.

What is mindful eating? A fewweeks ago, I discovered an excellentexample of it, and the incident in-volves the best chocolate lava cakeI’ve ever had. You might be wonder-ing how dessert fits into a book aboutmanaging your weight and healthyeating. If you want to know the an-swer, keep reading. Mindful eating, asyou will learn in this book, is eatingmore consciously so you can eat justenough to be satisfied—without eat-ing too much or too little. It soundssimple, but if you’ve ever tried it, youknow it’s much easier said than done.Yet, it is an essential skill for man-aging your weight.

I was at one of my favorite res-taurants, a tiny bistro with a menu

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that changes by season, with a goodfriend whose name also happens to beSusan. When the waitress arrived,Susan asked to hear the dessert spe-cial first. She was interested in thebistro’s signature dessert, a warmchocolate fudge molten lava cake.Susan wanted to know, up front,whether the cake was still on themenu because it would impact whatshe ordered for dinner. If they offeredthe lava cake, she figured she’d orderan appetizer and the cake, no entrée.If not, she’d skip dessert all togetherand just order an entrée. She said,“I’m going to make room, not findroom.” Knowing this dessert was onthe menu helped her choose her mealwisely. She had plenty of room fordessert without feeling overly stuffed.The cake was warm and gooey, and

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the melted chocolate ran down it likea river.

In general, mindful eating is likethis example—learning to eat thethings you love in a sensible way. It’sbreaking old, mindless eating habitsand closely gauging your appetite toeat just when you are hungry and stopwhen you are satisfied. This is a skillthat helps you to get to a healthyweight. In this book, you will learnmuch more about how making simplechanges like this can make a big dif-ference to your weight and health.

You may also be wondering whatturns an everyday activity like eatinginto such an overwhelming process.The answer to that question is, ofcourse, a complex one. Throughoutthis book, we will return to that ques-tion with some answers. But the

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bottom line is this: to make smart,healthy eating choices, your body andmind work together to send you es-sential cues about what you need andwant to eat. These cues give you in-formation about how much and whatto eat. The sensations and emotionsthat signal when you’re full, fam-ished, or just wanting to eatsomething rich and delicious are acomplex combination of bodily andemotional feelings. If you are attent-ive and responsive to these cues, youreating will be healthier and wellregulated.

In this book, you will learn howmindlessness corrupts the way youeat a meal and how it manifests in avariety of eating problems. You willgain insight into why mindfulness,which is, of course, the opposite ofmindlessness, can provide you with

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valuable skills to control the way youeat.

WelcomeWelcome to the second edition ofEating Mindfully! When EatingMindfully was first published, it wasamong the first mindful eating re-sources available. Although therewere authors and teachers beginningto buzz about mindfulness and its ap-plications to daily life, at the timeEating Mindfully was pretty unique.The book examined eating strugglesthrough a different lens—from a newblend of clinical psychology and theancient wisdom of mindfulness. Hav-ing worked with many clients whostruggle with eating issues, I wantedthe first edition to be very practical

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and directly applicable to the veryreal issues people struggle with at thetable. Back then, I was excited to ap-ply what I knew of the healing prop-erties of mindfulness to coping witheating problems. Mindfulness was be-ginning to be used as a treatment fornumerous physical and emotionalproblems. But it had not yet beenwidely applied to eating. This haschanged.

During the past few years, to myexcitement, the interest in mindfuleating has increased exponentially.It’s been on the televised news, inmagazines, discussed in newspapers,part of support groups, and embracedby celebrities. In part, mindful eatinghas received attention due to new re-search. If you haven’t heard of mind-ful eating yet, that’s okay. This bookwill remedy that by teaching you the

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ins and outs of eating with awareness.Recently, the Dietary Guidelines Ad-visory Committee, a group of inde-pendent professionals that gives nu-trition recommendations to the gov-ernment, deemed mindful eating tobe an effective tool for managingone’s weight (seewww.cnpp.usda.gov/dietary-guidelines.htm for the latest report).Despite this, unfortunately, manypeople still have not heard of mindfuleating. Given our global concern overhealthy eating, eating disorders, andthe emotional and physical con-sequences of obesity, it would behelpful for everyone to know whatmindful eating is and how to put it in-to practice. This book will help ac-complish that goal.

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What’s New in ThisBook?

The purpose of the first edition was toexplain how mindfulness skills couldapply to all types of problematic eat-ing. At that time, mindfulness was anew concept to many. Therefore, itwas important to start with the ba-sics. The book was written to be a sol-id introduction to mindful eating. Youdidn’t need any previous knowledgeor experience with this concept.However, for those who are familiarwith mindful eating, it helped to or-ganize the ideas. No matter whereyou were in your journey to mindfuleating, the first edition could be help-ful to you.

Ten years later, the second editionstarts with answers to a few of the

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common questions readers ask mostoften. Almost all the tips from theprevious book are included, and someof the sections have been edited to re-flect my evolving understanding ofmindfulness. I’ve also added a newtype of mindless eater: the occasionalmindless eater. Mindful eating isn’tjust for problematic eaters or dieters.It’s for everyone. Realistically, no onehas perfect mindful eating. Manypeople try their best to eat healthfullybut experience a bit of mindless eat-ing now and then.

Part V is a completely new addi-tion. It includes fast and easy ways toincorporate mindful eating into yourlife and is structured as a check-list—you can literally check off thetips as you learn to apply them toyour eating regimen. Mindful eatingdoesn’t have to take a lot of time or

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require radical changes. The new sec-tion contains 59 mindful eating tipsto help you cope with emotional eat-ing and teach you how to slow downwhen you eat. Plus you’ll find mindfuleating quotations that may help mo-tivate you on your journey to mind-fulness. There are also many new ex-ercises in each section to help you tobecome a mindful eater. Finally, thereare new resources for finding helpand support.

What’s Unique aboutThis Book?

If you’ve read other books on mindfuleating, you’ll notice that there areseveral things that are truly uniqueabout Eating Mindfully. First of all,

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this book is totally about you and foryou. While I use some personal ex-amples to help illustrate my pointsand share a bit about myself, this isnot a book about my eating journey. Iwant the reader—you—only to bepresent with your own experienceand to be focusing on what works foryou. Second, I guarantee that many ofthe examples in this book will be fa-miliar to you. That’s because they arebased on real-life struggles that cometo my attention every day in my workas a practicing psychologist. The thirdcharacteristic that distinguishes Eat-ing Mindfully from similar books isthat mine is based on the philosophyof mindfulness rather than corres-ponding spiritual aspects. Thisconcept is based on mindfulness as away of thinking and living. Being

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more mindful can help all aspects ofyour life, not just how you eat.

What Is Mindful Eating?

I used to have a habit of floppingdown on the couch every night andwatching TV with a huge bowl ofpretzels or chips. I would mindlesslymunch on my snacks. Halfwaythrough the TV show, I’d suddenlyrealize that I’d eaten the whole thing!This is when I would get up and gofor more. Now, I make sure that Itaste each bite.

—Rachel

Among many other things, mindfuleating includes feeling the texture ofeach potato chip on your fingers asyou pick it up, and then tasting the

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salt when you put the chip on yourtongue. It’s being aware of and listen-ing to the loud crunch of each bite,and the noise that the chewing makesin your head.

When you are eating the chipsmindfully, you take note of their con-sistency against your tongue and thepressure of your teeth grinding to-gether. You feel your saliva moisten-ing the chips and filling the back ofyour throat, as the chewed food slidesdown. Mindful eating is feeling thefood in your stomach and experien-cing pleasure—or whatever youfeel—from eating it. When you arewatchful, you notice how your stom-ach expands and feels fuller while youare eating. You experience each bitefrom start to finish. You slow downevery aspect of the eating process to

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be fully aware of its different parts,and to feel connected to it.

This is only one small example ofmindful eating, and many others areincluded throughout this book. Themain message to keep in mind whileyou read on is that the key to chan-ging the way you eat is not to devel-op discipline over your fork but tomaster control of your mind. You cando this by studying and understand-ing your thinking patterns, emotionalmoods, and various appetites, insteadof allowing your old, habitualthoughts to be in control.

Mindful eating is …

▪ Being aware of how you eat.

▪ Knowing your hunger andfullness cues.

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▪ Sensing and savoringfood—truly tasting it.

▪ Paying attention to the pro-cess of eating—for instance,noticing your hand pickingup your fork.

▪ Understanding your emo-tional triggers—the feelingsthat urge you to eat or noteat.

▪ Eating to nourish your bodyand meet your hungeraccurately.

▪ Adopting a mindful mind-set, one in which you don’tjudge yourself.

▪ Being present and aware ofyour appetite as it changes.

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▪ Having a conscious aware-ness of your food choices.

▪ Being alert and observant tohow you think about food.

▪ Letting go of criticalthoughts.

▪ Diligently heeding pre- andpost-eating feelings.

▪ Acknowledging food forwhat it is rather than cat-egorizing it as good or bad.

▪ Demonstrating compassiontoward self and others.

▪ Accepting self and body asthey are.

Mindless eating is …

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▪ Eating triggered by emo-tional rather than physicalhunger.

▪ Eating routinely—done inhabitual ways.

▪ Multitasking while eating(watching TV, driving, ortalking while consumingfood).

▪ Grazing on food.

▪ Skipping breakfast or othermeals.

▪ Ignoring hunger and bodycues (for example, a rum-bling stomach or lowenergy).

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▪ Continuing to eat despitefeeling full.

▪ Eating everything on yourplate regardless of the por-tion size, a.k.a. being amember of the Clean PlateClub.

▪ Following the motto “Liveto Eat” rather than “Eat toLive.”

▪ Eating for comfort.

▪ Eating as if in a trance.

▪ Believing that you havelittle or no control.

▪ Allowing the shoulds andshouldn’ts to dominate foodconsumption.

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Shifting Out of AutopilotEating

At the heart of mindless eating areautopilot actions. Think for a momentabout what it feels like to drive onautopilot—and then suddenly experi-ence that wake-up moment when yourealize that you’ve zoned out. It’s theshift in consciousness that happenswhen you are abruptly aware thatyou’ve driven to work instead of homeor missed your exit. Your handsturned the wheel and your footpushed the pedal. However, yourmind was elsewhere. This shows howeasy it is to do even complex things,like driving, with no thought at all. Ifyou can drive on autopilot, considerhow effortless it is to eat in this mode.

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Just pick up your fork and eat. Nothought involved.

Unfortunately, behaviors andthoughts that slip out of your aware-ness are bound to continue and takeyou places you do not intend to go.Aspects of yourself that are unhealthycan persist without you even knowingit. For example, you might say toyourself automatically, “Eight o’clock,time for a snack.” Or whenever you sitdown on the couch to watch TV, it’salways with a bowl of ice cream. Ormaybe you mechanically chomp oncereal right out of the box when youare stressed out. These mindless eat-ing habits are like reflexes. You dothem so automatically that eating canbe like tying your shoe or brushingyour teeth—something you do withlittle thought.

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If you have mindless eatingroutines, they are going to remain ex-actly as they are, unless you first be-come aware of them. When eatinghabits are in your consciousness, youcan begin to think of creative optionsto change them. You can find healthyways to break out of your oldroutines.

To Be Mindful …

At this very moment while you arereading, you are getting your firsttaste of being mindful. To truly com-prehend these chapters, you mustshift out of autopilot and attend tothe words before you. When you aremindful, you use all of your senses,not just your eyes, to read. You alsonotice and think about your reactionsas you read. Most important, you

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welcome in what you are readingwithout judgment.

After the first edition of EatingMindfully, I wrote a workbook to ac-company it called Eat, Drink, and BeMindful. I outlined seven skills thatcan help create a more mindful eater.You may want to keep these aspectsof mindfulness in mind as you readthis book.

▪ Awareness: Tune in toyour senses. Notice. Taste.Smell. Look. Touch.

▪ Observation: See yourselffrom a distance, as if watch-ing yourself in a movie. Ob-serve the way you eat. Fast?Slow? Small bites? Hand-fuls at a time?

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▪ Being in the Moment:Be in the present moment.When you eat, just eat.Don’t worry about the pastor the future. You canchange only what you eatright now.

▪ Letting Go: Stop holdingon tightly to thoughts andfeelings that urge you to eat(or not eat). Learn how tolet go of an urge or cravingwithout necessarily havingto respond to it.

▪ Minding Your Environ-ment: Look around you.Notice what triggers you toeat. The presence of food?Commercials that advertisechocolate to soothe stress?

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▪ Being nonjudgmental:Lose the criticism andguilty words. Instead, focuson talking compassionatelyand kindly to yourself. Thiswill help you to be morehonest with yourself aboutwhat and how much to eat.Be impartial. Just witness,don’t judge.

▪ Acceptance: Be okay withthings as they are. Stopfighting with your body andyour eating. Instead, listento your body.

Ten Common Questions aboutMindful Eating

Readers have asked many won-derful questions during the past few

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years, like “I love ice cream. Can I stilleat sweets mindfully?” and “What isthe best way to start improving myeating habits?” Here are the ten mostpopular questions on the minds ofreaders, and their answers.

“IF I START EATING MINDFULLY,WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO MYWEIGHT? WILL I LOSE WEIGHT?”

For many people, the answer is“Yes, it’s likely that you will loseweight.” But, more often than not, Isay, “It depends.” Let me explain inmore detail. When you are engaged inmindless eating habits, you are notmeeting your body’s needs in someway. It might mean that you are eat-ing portion sizes that are too large,which makes you gain weight.However, if you are dieting or re-stricting, you aren’t getting enough

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calories or nutrients. This mightmean that your body is struggling tomaintain a healthy minimum weight.

The bottom line is that this bookfocuses on improving your eatinghabits. When you do so, the weightwill generally take care of itself. Youwill notice that this book doesn’thammer in the message “You need tolose weight.” The emphasis is moreabout being healthy than being thinor losing weight. This might meangetting more nutrients or taking bet-ter care of yourself. But weight losscan definitely happen as a result ofmindful eating. Eating just the rightamount needed to make your bodyfunction, without giving it too muchexcess, will allow your body to settleat your natural weight. Ask yourself,when was the last time your bodyseemed to be at a healthy place—in

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regard to your weight, health, andfeeling good overall?

“IS ‘EATING MINDFULLY’ A DIET?WHAT’S WRONG WITH DIETING?”

It’s likely that you’ve already readmany diet books. Although this bookis about helping you eat better andmanage your weight, you may be re-lieved to find that it is not a new “faddiet.” Fad diets, like the cabbage soupdiet, no-sugar diet, and low-fat diet,come and go in popularity. Mindfuleating is radically different. It’s notabout cutting out food groups orstarving yourself. It is something youdo for the long term rather thansomething you go “on” and “off.”

Diets contain rules created foryou; they are external pieces of ad-vice. Mindful eating is tuning inwardto use your intuitive wisdom to find

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what works for you. A diet may dic-tate, for example, that you can’t eatsugar. But what happens when it isyour birthday and your daughtermakes you a birthday cake?

Having a meal plan created by adietitian is different than a diet. A di-etitian helps you develop a well-bal-anced menu. He or she tailors it toyour body’s needs rather than youtrying to fit into the regulations of aparticular diet. Having a professionalhelp you choose healthy foods is agreat idea.

Thus, dieting can be incrediblydetrimental to your emotional, men-tal, and physical well-being. Diets caninhibit your ability to accurately de-code your body’s messages and feed-back. The dieting lifestyle is akin totaking a knife and cutting the

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connection that is your body’s onlyline of communication with yourhead.

“HOW WILL AWARENESS HELP MEEAT BETTER?”

Much overeating happens auto-matically. It can become so routinethat you may not even be aware of it.When you start to become moremindful, you begin to see mindlessbehavior that you hadn’t noticed be-fore, like chewing on your fingernails.When someone—or even you,through mindful practice—drawsyour attention to your reflexive ac-tions, you see it and can start chan-ging the behavior. Similarly, if youaren’t aware that you munch whenyou are nervous, you will stay stuck inthis pattern. Awareness can help inthe following ways:

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▪ Mindfulness teaches you tobe less reactive to stress. Inturn, this helps you to re-duce emotional eating. Justeliminating emotional eat-ing can impact your weightand health immensely.

▪ When you are more in tunewith your body, you stopeating when you are fulland you eat more-realisticportion sizes.

▪ When you are more aware,you stop automatic behavi-ors, like picking or grazingon food, that unconsciouslylead you to gain weight.

▪ You notice problematicthinking and feelings about

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food and how it impacts theway you eat (for example,dealing with guilt andcravings).

“HOW DOES MINDFULNESS HELPPEOPLE WITH DIFFERENT KINDS OFEATING ISSUES?”

Intuitively, it makes sense thatmindful eating is helpful to overeat-ers. It slows you down, makes youmore aware of portion sizes, andhelps you get out of the negative,automatic cycle with food. So howdoes it also help people who are un-dereating, or who are chaotic or emo-tional eaters?

In actuality, mindful eating hasbeen used to treat a wide range of eat-ing issues, from the inability to loseor gain weight to everything inbetween. There are three main ways

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that mindful eating works to resolvefood-related problems and restorehealth:

▪ Mindful eating reconnectsyou with your body’s sig-nals. Whether you are over-eating or undereating, youhave lost track of your hun-ger and fullness. Mindfuleating plugs you back intoyour body’s cues so youknow when to stop andstart eating.

▪ Being mindful brings aboutbetter management of youremotions. Sometimespeople restrict or overeat asa way to cope with negativefeelings. Eating and not eat-ing can distract you fromyour worries. When you

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have healthier ways of cop-ing, such as mindful breath-ing and letting go of anxi-ety, you no longer manageyour emotions through yourfood choices. You can toler-ate your emotions, as un-comfortable as they may be,without pushing them awayor stuffing them down withfood.

▪ Mindfulness changes theway you think. Rather thanreacting to food-relatedthoughts that urge you toovereat, undereat, emotion-ally eat, et cetera, you re-spond to them. You canhear these thoughts withoutobeying them.

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These are helpful skills for chan-ging all kinds of eating behavior.

“HOW DID YOU LEARN ABOUTMINDFULNESS?”

My very first contact with theword “mindfulness” happened when Iwas an exchange student in Japan, asa young adult. I lived with a host fam-ily in a little town near Osaka. Myhost family taught me many thingsthat were unique to me at the time,including the value of being still andbeing present. While I was in Japan,they took me to many historical sites,including a Zen garden in Kyoto. Itwas here where I was first introducedto the word “mindfulness.” As we satin the garden, my friends defined theword for me—because one thing thatthe Zen garden is intended to do iscultivate a sense of mindfulness.

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Although they described mindfulnessin words, I remember very distinctlyexperiencing it. I shifted from beingdistracted in my mind to being totallypresent, sensing the experience to thefullest. After this, we went to othercultural places that brought about thesame reaction. We read about mind-fulness and discussed it.

That experience changed the way Ilived. I learned how to be really in themoment instead of jumping into thefuture or ruminating in the past. Be-ing truly present translated into beinga focused student and learning how tolisten. This skill has been invaluablein my relationships with friends andclients.

Fast-forward fifteen years. Duringgraduate school, I learned a lot abouteating problems when I worked at

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various colleges and for eating dis-order programs. The word “mindful-ness” had become an integral part ofmy vocabulary. I noticed that I re-peatedly used the words “eat mind-fully” with my clients. I began de-scribing in detail what I meant bythese words. Most people know thatthe word “mindful” means to be moreaware—but this was a particular kindof awareness. I noticed that clientsstarted to say things like “I ate dessertmindfully the other day.” It articu-lated the exact type of relationshipmany of them wanted to have withfood. The objective wasn’t to correctovereating or eating too little. In-stead, it was learning to eat withawareness—just the right amount.

“IS THERE EVIDENCE THATMINDFUL EATING CAN HELP ME?”

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Yes! During the past twenty years,there have been many important clin-ical studies and advances. A goodplace to begin is by looking at thework of Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn (2009).His work was pivotal in bringing theconcept of mindfulness to medicine.He found a way to systematically re-search the effect of mindfulnessthrough clinical research. Mindful-ness was found to help people copewith a variety of medical problemssuch as chronic pain, cancer, andpsoriasis (Baer 2003; Davidson et al.2003). Given its success with medicalissues, psychologists began to studyits application to psychological issuessuch as anxiety and depression, andparticularly to eating issues.

Recent studies have found the fol-lowing results. Mindful eating canhelp you to:

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▪ Reduce overeating andbinge eating (Kristeller andWolever 2011; Baer et al.2005; Smith et al. 2006).

▪ Lose weight and reduceyour body mass index(BMI) (Tapper et al. 2009;Framson et al. 2009; Dalenet al. 2010; Singh et al.2008).

▪ Cope with chronic eatingproblems such as anorexiaand bulimia, and reduceanxious thoughts aboutfood and your body (Proulx2008; Rawal et al. 2009;Hepworth 2011; Lavender,Jardin, and Anderson2009).

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▪ Improve the symptoms oftype 2 diabetes (Rosenzweig2007; van Son et al. 2011;Faude-Lang et al. 2010).

“WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCEBETWEEN MINDFULNESS OF THEMIND AND MINDFULNESS OFTHOUGHTS?”

The difference between these twonotions can be confusing. Both con-cepts have to do with your brain. Butthey have different functions. Mind-fulness of the mind has to do withyour level of awareness. Are youzoned out or very aware of what ishappening? Tasting every bite or eat-ing in a robotic manner? Using allyour senses to enjoy the experience?Mindfulness of your thoughts per-tains to the content of what you arethinking—the stuff that is on your

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mind. When listening to someone lec-ture, are you processing what he orshe is saying? When eating, are youthinking about your long to-do list? Isyour inner food critic sending youmessages about what you should orshouldn’t eat?

“DOES MINDFUL EATING MEAN ICAN EAT ANYTHING?”

Yes! You can eat everything andanything. Nothing is off limits.Restriction causes cravings. Period.For instance, if you told yourself thatyou could never eat your favorite fruitagain, you’d be amazed at how muchmore you’d want it.

One major caveat: although youcan eat anything you want, withmindful eating it is likely that you willchoose not to eat everything. Themore you tune in to what and how

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you eat, the more particular you be-come about what you consume. A wo-man in one of my workshops told mea story about potato chips. She usedto love them. Then one day she volun-teered to make sack lunches for aschool. For an hour, she put potatochips into bags. She recounted howgreasy her hands felt at the end of hershift. Her skin was saturated with oiland she couldn’t seem to scrub it off.Prior to this, she had never tuned into the sensation of touching thepotato chips. After this, she looked atthem in a brand-new way.

Mindful eaters often find fast foodless appealing when they are totallytuned in. To their surprise, it beginsto taste greasy, artificial, and overlyprocessed. Sometimes mindful eaters’taste buds become more sensitive.They notice when tea is overly

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sweetened or when cereal is loadedwith sugar. They say things like “Oh,that dessert is too sweet.” Also, mind-ful eaters start to review the ingredi-ents in foods to avoid those that aretoxic or unhealthy. They realize thattheir body doesn’t feel up to par aftereating something full of preservativesor other additives. Whole grains andfruits begin to fill them up and makethem feel healthier. Mindful eatersstill eat treats and junk food, but inmuch smaller portions, since evensmall amounts of sweets and friedfoods start to seem like a lot. Thus,your food tastes will likely alter a bitas you become a more consciouseater.

“WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCEBETWEEN COGNITIVE BEHAVIORALTHERAPY AND MINDFULNESS?”

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There are many similarities tocognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)and mindfulness. Both can help youimprove your eating habits. For manyyears, CBT (interventions that targetdistorted behavior and thought pat-terns) has been one of the most suc-cessful forms of therapy for treatingcertain eating problems (Zindel et al.2001). There is a slight difference inhow CBT and mindfulness tacklethings. Let’s say you have a negativethought about food. You say to your-self, “One cookie will make me fat.”This is an irrational thought. WithCBT you’d recognize this as a negativethought and replace it with a positive,more rational thought, like “Onecookie won’t make me fat.” Withmindfulness, you don’t replace thethought or try to get rid of it. Instead,you become aware of this thought and

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accept the thought as it is. When youstop struggling with your thoughts,you can let them go without respond-ing to them with action.

“DO I HAVE TO HAVE A SPIRITUALPRACTICE OR BE BUDDHIST TO USEA MINDFUL EATING APPROACH?”

Mindful eating is much like yoga.Yoga has roots in Buddhism andEastern meditation. However, it isnot necessarily a spiritual practice.Mindful eating and yoga utilizebreathing exercises to calm andsoothe the body. This is a technique.To eat mindfully, you can adhere toany kind of spiritual background orreligion— or none at all. You may no-tice, however, that you become morerelaxed and in tune with yourselfthrough mindfulness. This, in turn,

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can enhance your spirituality in gen-eral, whatever that may be.

How to Use This BookIf you think that you may have somemindless eating habits, keep on read-ing! You may find it helpful to readthrough the entire book before at-tempting any of the skill builders,which are activities at the end of eachtip, to help you to put the concept in-to practice. Remember that some tipsmay be more appropriate or workbetter for you than others. Then goback and try out the skill builders thatseem to resonate with you.

Make reading be your first exer-cise in being mindful. As you read,simply be aware of your reactions.Pay attention to your thoughts.

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Notice when your mind says, “Oh,that is interesting,” or when it says,“Hmm, that doesn’t sound familiar.”Also take note when you get very in-vested in reading or when your mindstarts to wander. Listen when yourmind reacts with “I want to try that”or “That exercise sounds really hard.”This is useful information. Noticehow your mind absorbs all of this in-formation. If your experience doesn’tmatch the examples, or your actionsare much more intense, hold that ob-servation in your awareness. You maybe ready to try these exercises outnow, or you might come back to themin a few weeks. When addressing anykind of problem, people typically areat different stages of readiness to ad-apt their behavior. So if you don’t getstarted right away, don’t worry. You

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can always come back to begin doingthem when you are ready.

Finding SupportI am a strong advocate of findinggood support. Sometimes this meansjoining with a good friend or cowork-er. But if you feel stuck, you don’thave a supportive friend, or you havebeen struggling for a long time, it isimportant to join with a professionallike a therapist, physician, or dieti-tian—or all three. This book is not asubstitute for professional counsel-ing. However, it can be a valuable ad-junct to ongoing treatment if that issomething you need.

If you make an appointment witha therapist or doctor, make sure tolook for someone highly

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recommended. Seek a professionalwho specializes in eating problems.Bring along your copy of EatingMindfully and discuss the conceptsand skill builders together. It may behelpful to talk about which exerciseswork for you and which do not.Working together with a professional,you may be able to pinpoint thefactors that have been standing in theway of mindful eating. There are sev-eral good resources to help you findqualified professionals; see the Re-sources section at the back of thisbook for more information.

Perhaps you’ve been reluctant tomake a counseling appointment.Maybe you feel that you should beable to do it on your own, without in-tervention. Remember that even witha counselor, the greatest portion ofthe work is still up to you. Also,

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seeking help does not signify failureand is not a sign of weakness. I can-not emphasize this enough. I admirethe strength and courage it takes toseek assistance. It means you careabout yourself, and it is a sign thatyou believe there is something insideof you worth nurturing and protect-ing. Seeking guidance indicates thatyou want to live the fullest life pos-sible, and you are willing to take an-other human being into your confid-ence to ensure your life will be ahappy one. This is a mindful stance,nonjudgmental, open, and receptiveto all experience. This is the stancethat this book will encourage you toadopt, and, I hope, these chapters willprovide many tools for you to do justthat.

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The FourFoundations of

Mindfulness

Imagine for a moment that you are

holding a bowl of chicken noodlesoup. Think about grasping thesteaming bowl in your hands. Pictureyourself bringing a spoonful of the li-quidy noodles to your mouth. Let’sthink about what happens in yourmind as you begin to imagine thisscenerio. It’s likely that you immedi-ately had an emotional reaction to thewords “chicken noodle soup.” Maybeit reminded you of a chilly, snowyday. Perhaps your mind drifted back

to when you were a kid and sick witha cold. You may have wonderedwhether soup was something youcraved. Your taste buds may havesprung into action, anticipating thesalty warmth heating up your body.The point is that eating isn’t justabout picking up the spoon and put-ting it into your mouth. It’s a lot morecomplex. Just thinking about eatingcreates an entire body, mind, cognit-ive, and emotional reaction.

The mind-body reaction to food isreminiscent of a story I studied inJapan about Buddha and the fourfoundations of mindfulness. Thisstory, along with my clinical work, setthe basis for how this book is organ-ized. It’s linked to important aspectsof Buddha’s teachings, the fourfoundations of mindfulness—beingmindful of your mind, body,

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thoughts, and feelings, which you willnotice are the very same four factorsthat impact the way you eat.

As a young adult, Buddha dis-covered that mastering mindful eat-ing was essential to his spiritualgrowth. He had been born into a royalfamily and, when he was a child, healways ate the most succulent andrichest foods that India could offer.He grew plump from all of the feastshe consumed. As a young man, hediscovered that all the pleasures heenjoyed at the court could not ensurehappiness or protect against sadness.So when he left his royal life to seekenlightenment and a cure for suffer-ing, he tried fasting. He discoveredthat fasting or severely restricting hisfood consumption made him weak,ill, and unable to concentrate, and itbrought him no closer to solving the

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enigma of suffering. What did theBuddha learn from his days of feast-ing and famine? He learned that bothtoo much and too little food are detri-mental to health and well-being. Bal-ance and understanding the uniqueneeds of your body are essential for ahappy, healthy life. As you can see,eating issues have been around for avery, very long time. Even Buddhastruggled with balancing his eating. Ittook time and practice. However,Buddha eventually mastered theconcept of mindful eating. He found abalance between eating too much andeating too little. This allowed him toget back to his work. The four founda-tions are outlined by the Buddha inthe Mahasatipatthana Sutta (TheGreat Discourse on the Four Founda-tions of Mindfulness).

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It sounds easy enough to just “bemore aware” of what you eat. Butmindful eating is much more complexand sophisticated than that. It’s un-derstanding why and how you eat,the factors that make you stop andstart eating. The four foundations canhelp you answer those importantquestions. Sometimes you are veryaware of how you feel about food—forinstance, you know you love the tasteof chocolate. But other times it ismore unconscious—eating chocolatemay subconsciously stir up a lot ofguilt. When you eat mindfully, essen-tially you bring all of the unconscious,buried forces that dictate how you eatto the surface so that your mind canexamine them, and you can begin tosee how thoughts and feelings impactthe way you eat.

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Each of the first four sections ofthis book explores in detail one of thefour foundations of mindful eating,and each provides exercises for beingconscious of the impact your mind,body, thoughts, and feelings have onyour eating. These skill builders arecontemporary ideas tailored to helpmindless eaters create a contemplat-ive awareness of the four foundations,as they relate to food. When thesefour foundations remain unconscious,they have an inordinate amount ofpower and influence over the way youfeed yourself.

The four foundations of mindfuleating are as follows:

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Mindfulness of the Mind

It’s difficult for me to know when Ishould or need to eat. So manythings sway my eating habits. Atwork, I eat snacks my coworkersbring in just because the food is thereand I don’t want to be rude. At othertimes, I don’t reach for a second help-ing because I’m wondering if otherpeople are secretly snickering aboutmy weight. I’ve learned to step backand really ask myself, “Am I hungryat this moment?”

—Emily

Mindfuless of the mind includes be-coming aware of many aspects of yourmind and your level of attention. Atany given moment, your mind can bedistracted, restless, sleepy, clinging tothe past, zoned out, obsessed,

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scattered, vigilant, or guarded, amongmany other ways of being. Thesestates are transient, changing frommoment to moment, but all the whilethey create a backdrop for under-standing how you eat. Here are waysyou can be more conscious of what ishappening in your mind:

▪ Be more aware of sensa-tions (hear, taste, touch,smell, see).

▪ Notice whether you aremindlessly munching ortasting every bite.

▪ Be aware of what your mindis doing (obsessing, worry-ing, craving, etc.).

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▪ Be in the moment, focusedon what is happening rightnow.

▪ Pay attention to how yourhunger and fullness changewith each bite.

▪ Break out of autopilot eat-ing habits.

Mindfulness of the Body

My body tells me when I’m hungryand full. If my stomach is grumbling,it’s my body’s way of saying, “I amhungry,” and I know I’ve waited toolong to eat. If I overeat, my bodycomplains that it feels sluggish,bloated, and uncomfortable. I listencarefully and respond to my body’srequests the first time it asks. I pay

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attention to what makes my bodyfeel content and energized.

—Molly

Body mindfulness is attending toevery aspect of your inner and outerbody. It includes paying attention toyour hunger and fullness cues. It’snoticing how it feels to open and closeyour mouth when you chew. Tuningin to your breathing and bodythrough yoga and meditation are alsokey. Examples of how you can bemindful of your inner and outer bod-ily sensations:

▪ Pay attention to the processof eating, like picking upyour fork.

▪ Be attentive to your breath-ing, which can relax your

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body and move you into themoment.

▪ Tune in to body sensations,such as your feet touchingthe floor or clothing rub-bing your skin.

▪ Taste and savor food, noti-cing the texture and flavor.

▪ Hear hunger cues, like arumbling stomach.

▪ Understand your satietyand fullness cues.

▪ Relax your body to help al-leviate stress.

▪ Meditate and practice yoga.

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▪ Notice how your bodymoves—how you walk, sit,run, et cetera.

Mindfulness of Feelings

I often find myself seeking comfortfoods that deceptively take away mystress almost immediately. When Iam mindful, I opt instead to meditateon what prompted me to seek thecomfort in the first place. I acknow-ledge that a candy bar will make mefeel good now, but I also considerhow my mood will shift into guiltmode later. I don’t allow my feelingsto be in complete charge of what Ieat.

—Andrew

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Mindfulness of feelings involves nam-ing and embracing your feelings,whether they are positive or negativeemotions. Food and feelings aretightly intervowen with each other.Being mindful of your emotions helpsyou to know what feelings triggeremotional eating and/or stop youfrom eating well. Things to keep inmind:

▪ Be aware of feelings thatprompt you to eat, likeboredom, stress, pain, orloneliness.

▪ Be aware of the feelings thatfollow eating, such as pleas-ure, satiation, or comfort.

▪ Notice emotions linked withovereating, such as shame,sadness, guilt, and regret.

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▪ Pay attention to feelingsthat come from eatingmindfully, like feeling ener-gized, satiated, content, orcomfortable.

▪ Notice where you feel emo-tions in the body. For ex-ample, some people feelsadness as a hole in thebelly. They overeat to fillthe perceived hole. To oth-ers sadness feels as if theirhearts are being squeezed.Some people feel anger as akind of electrical currentcoursing through their bod-ies, while to others angerfeels like heat radiatingfrom the chest.

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Mindfulness of Thoughts

I am most critical of myself insidemy head. I might be smiling as I takea second muffin, but my head is say-ing, “You can’t eat that, you’realready too fat.” When I am mindfulof my thoughts, I examine them moreclosely to see which beliefs are real-istic and which ones are just createdout of irrational thoughts, judg-ments, and feeling insecure abouthow I look.

—Heidi

Mindfulness of your thoughts meansbeing mindful of the content of yourthoughts—what you think and say toyourself. Your thoughts can be likesubliminal audiotapes that your mindplays over and over, without yourconscious awareness that they are

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playing. When you are mindful ofyour thoughts, you hear what youthink without necessarily acting on it.Here are ways to practice this:

▪ Raise your awareness ofyour internal stream ofthoughts about food andhunger.

▪ Notice how thoughts impactyour hunger and fullness(such as “I’m so full” or “Itlooks so good” or “I’ll startmy diet tomorrow”).

▪ Be aware of your innercritic.

▪ Tune in to the dialogue inyour head that says, “Youshouldn’t eat that” or “Don’teat that.”

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▪ Notice black-and-whitethinking (such as believingthat a food is either healthyor unhealthy).

▪ Use compassionate lan-guage instead of judgmentalwords.

▪ Notice types ofthoughts—judgments,dreams, beliefs, negative,positive, catastrophic, blackand white.

Mindfulness in EverydayLife

Mindfulness is a way of thinking andbeing in the world that is many cen-turies old. It is defined generally as

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being present and engaged in eachmoment in a nonjudgmental way.It’s adapted from Buddhist practicesof meditation. If you’ve done any kindof yoga or relaxation, it’s likely thatyou’ve experienced aspects ofmindfulness.

There are many ways in which youcan be more mindful. Eating withgreater attention is just one way. Youcan be more mindful of how muchmoney you spend. Or you can bemore present in relationships. Per-haps you see parents at the play-ground distracted by their cell phonesinstead of being really present andplaying with their kids. Maybe youdon’t really listen when your signific-ant other is telling you about his day.Our attention can be very scatteredand distracted by so many things.

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The term “mindfulness” came intouse in the sixth century during theBuddha’s lifetime. When Buddhismspread across Asia and adapted to thecustoms and needs of many differentcountries, the practice of mindfulnessremained a core concept. The contin-ued use and popularity of mindful-ness exercises today attests to theirtimelessness and to the value of itshealing power. Mindfulness promotesphysical health, rehabilitation, andhealing, as well as being a treatmentfor mental health problems (Baer2003).

Today, in the West, the mind-body connection has been well docu-mented and extensively researched. Itis no secret that healing and treatingthe mind is as important as nursingthe body to health. Mindfulness iscurrently used in conjunction with

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medical treatments for illnesses suchas cancer, AIDS, anxiety, stress, anddepression, as well as for chronic painand sleep problems.

The biological underpinnings aresimple. When struggling with an ill-ness, your body’s defense system usesall of its resources to target the prob-lem. When you feel pain, either emo-tional or physical, your natural tend-ency is to fight against your distress.However, denying and resisting achesand pains raises your stress level anduses energy resources that could beused instead to heal the origin of theillness.

Instead of fighting the pain, mind-fulness treatments teach you how tobe aware of painful sensations and tomanage them one moment at a time.For example, suppose you are

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suffering from back pain. Instead ofbeing angry or irritated by it, you canobserve the source, watch it, and tar-get the painful areas with specific re-laxation exercises. When you arestressed and emotionally in pain,your body’s natural immunity de-creases. If you are stressed out aboutyour weight or your out-of-controleating, you may spend more of yourtime reacting to and dwelling on thepainfulness of your problem ratherthan dealing with it directly.

Insight is one of the most valuablegifts that mindfulness can offer.When you focus on the here and now,free of distraction, you are em-powered to make decisions and freeto explore new paths to happiness.

A mindful perspective suggeststhat healing begins by acknowledging

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and compassionately accepting thatsomething in your life is causing yougrief. This stance has helped peopleget through extraordinarily difficultconditions that at first seemed to beoverwhelming and beyond control. Soif you have felt that changing youreating habits is too difficult, knowthat this approach can help you man-age that feeling and move past it.

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What Kind ofMindless Eater

Are You?

This book is for all those who have

issues with their weight or who feelunable to control what they eat—thatis, all those who eat mindlessly. Thefollowing broad categories describefive types of mindless eaters: the oc-casional mindless eater, the chronicmindless dieter, the mindless under-eater, the mindless overeater, andthe mindless chaotic eater. Thesecatagories are not meant to be a dia-gnosis but a way of identifying similarhabits.

This book encompasses the entirerange of mindless eating. The breadthof this approach is one thing, amongmany, that is so exciting and uniqueabout mindful eating. Everyone canbenefit from it, from the person whomindlessly eats only once in awhile—like at a restaurant wherethere is something he reallycraves—to the individual who hasbeen wrestling with her eating fortwenty-five years and feels stuck.Thankfully, this is also a great ap-proach for people who have struggledwith dieting. Approximately 33 per-cent of American men and 46 percentof American women are on a diet(Bish et al. 2005; Kruger et al. 2004).By tomorrow, the majority will giveup and need something healthier toreplace their eating habits. Essen-tially, this book is for everyone.

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New in this edition is the intro-duction of the occasional mindlesseater. This category acknowledgesanyone who succumbs to mindlesseating from time to time. The occa-sional mindless eater generally eatsmindfully. However, he may experi-ence mindless eating on a stressfulday, at restaurants, or during the hol-idays. Though infrequent, these oc-currences of mindless eating are stillbothersome to those who experienceit.

If the characteristics discussed inthe following sections seem familiarto you, it is likely that you are experi-encing some form of mindless eating.It should be emphasized, however,that everyone is unique. People maydemonstrate similarities in their eat-ing habits, but the specific character-istics and expressions of mindless

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eating are shaped by your life experi-ences, culture, and family. Therefore,you need not identify with every char-acteristic listed. What is more likely isthat you will identify with some as-pects of each type of mindless eating.Again, keep in mind that the categor-ies below are not meant to be a dia-gnosis but rather a way of groupingcertain kinds of eating patterns.

The Occasional MindlessEater

As a child, Jill didn’t think twiceabout what she ate. She ateeverything—pizza, tomatoes, bana-nas, doughnuts. You name it, shewould eat it. In college, her eatinghabits were like many other students’.

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She ate pizza almost every day andsometimes ate cereal or ramennoodles for dinner because they werecheap and convenient for a studentwithout a lot of money. After college,Jill noticed that her tastes began tochange. She became more strategicabout her meals. It was important toher to try to create balanced meals ofgreen vegetables and a main dish. Itdidn’t always work, but she did herbest. She cut down on sweets andbegan to consider how food impactedher health. Jill struggled with mi-graine headaches. Eating well wasone thing she could do to help pre-vent them.

Jill tries to eat pretty healthy dayto day. And, for the most part, she ispretty successful at it. But mindfuleating slips on occasion. She noticesthat it happens mostly when she is

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stressed out at work. As soon as shegets home, she begins rummagingaround the kitchen looking forsomething sweet. It doesn’t happenvery often, but when it does it bothersher. Jill also struggles on holidayswhen there are so many good sweetsaround. She keeps few treats in herhome. When she sees them at parties,she tends to eat more than she wishesshe would.

Everyone eats mindlessly on occa-sion. It’s pretty normal. For the mostpart, you eat reasonably well.

Characteristics of the Occasion-al Mindless Eater

MIND

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▪ Mostly aware of how muchshe eats but slips up fromtime to time

▪ Occasionally enters intotrance-like eating, oftenwhen stressed or tired

▪ Being aware of portion sizesbecomes a challenge aroundfavorite foods

▪ Sometimes very surprisedthat she has gained weightbecause she is generallytuned in to her body andeating

▪ Tends to lose track of eatingwhen out to dinner withfriends who eat mindlessly

BODY

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▪ Generally stays at a prettyconsistent weight; if weightgain happens it is veryslowly or in spurts

▪ May notice changes in herbody during the holidays orvacations

▪ Tends to feel overly fullwhen eating at restaurants

▪ Is vulnerable to overeatingnew things or comfort foodsfrom childhood

▪ Is generally tuned in tohunger but occasionally canlose track of it when busy

THOUGHTS

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▪ Is vulnerable to automaticthoughts like “Oh, I’ll startmy diet tomorrow”

▪ Thinks about what to eatbut may slip into habitualor routine ways of eatingwhen overwhelmed

▪ May think guilty thoughtsafter overeating

▪ May be critical of herselfwhen she eats too much

FEELINGS

▪ Typically uses healthy activ-ities to feel better but occa-sionally eats for stress relief

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▪ May overeat when feelingextremely anxious ornervous

▪ Gets frustrated when sheovereats because it gener-ally isn’t a problem

▪ May use food to celebrate orbe social

The Chronic MindlessDieter

After her first baby was born, Alexgained fifteen pounds. She tried eachnew fad diet that came along andhunted for new dieting tricks to “getskinny.” In the two years after thebaby’s birth, she bought no newclothes. She wanted to wait until she

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had shed ten pounds and could fit in-to a smaller size. She dreamed abouthaving a flatter stomach and wearinga sexy little black dress. She was nostranger to eradicating sugar, fat, andcarbohydrates from her diet. Some-times she even fasted. On one “mir-acle diet,” she ate nothing but cab-bage soup and lost a few pounds, butshe was unable to maintain theweight loss.

The worst aspect of these dietswas that they were completely unreal-istic in terms of her lifestyle. Whenshe reduced her carbohydrate intake,she could no longer bring a sandwichto work for her lunch. Furthermore,she found she couldn’t live withoutpasta and bagels. If she took the fat-free approach, she ate more food andfelt less satisfied. She also had diffi-culty finding fat-free food that wasn’t

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filled with sugar or salt to cover thetaste.

No diet made sense, and she wasalways falling off the wagon. Whenshe jumped back on, other peoplecomplained that they couldn’t inviteher to their homes because they neverknew what food would be appropriateto serve to her. Moreover, her conver-sation about dieting was obsessiveand boring. She constantly criticizedherself when she “cheated” on herdiet.

Characteristics of the ChronicMindless Dieter

MIND

▪ Vigilant about food intake,scrutinizes food labels

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▪ Categorizes food as “good”or “bad”

▪ Makes food choices basedon hoped-for weight loss,rather than on health

▪ Eats a lot before starting adiet and believes the dietwill last for only a shorttime

BODY

▪ Engages in yo-yo dieting,leading to constant body-weight increase and de-crease, which in the longrun is very unhealthy

▪ Is perpetually dieting andtries out all the new weight-loss gimmicks

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▪ Fasts and cuts back food in-take to unhealthy levels

▪ Doesn’t listen to his body’sdesires

THOUGHTS

▪ Knows a lot of informationabout calories, food por-tions, and diet tricks

▪ Ignores nutrient needs

▪ Believes he has an “ideal”weight to achieve

▪ Talks and thinks about foodfrequently

▪ Thinks more about the cal-oric value of food than theexperience or joy of eating

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FEELINGS

▪ Feels fat; disapproves of,and/or is disgusted with hisown body

▪ Experiences mood fluctu-ations based on eatingbehavior

▪ Experiences guilt when he“breaks the diet”

▪ Examines other people’sbodies; frequently checksmirrors

▪ Feels as if he cheated whenhe eats something that isnot part of his diet

▪ Has difficulty accepting theshape of his own body andwishes for someone else’s

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The MindlessUndereater

Fiona’s eating issues began in the sev-enth grade. As the first girl in herclass to reach puberty, she enduredextensive teasing about her breastsand rapidly changing body. She worebaggy clothes to avoid others’ com-ments and to focus attention awayfrom her curvy shape.

As a young adult, Fiona obsessedabout eating. She refused to put milkin her coffee if it wasn’t fat-free, andshe used artificial sweeteners in hercereal to avoid the ten extra caloriesin real sugar. Eating a handful ofchips could send her spiraling into awhirlwind of guilt for the rest of theday. Because she believed that otherpeople evaluated and judged what she

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ate, she found it particularly painfulto eat in front of others. Her friendsand relatives constantly nagged herabout looking too thin. They even ac-ted like the “food police” and wouldtell her what to eat. Regardless ofwhat everyone said about how “pain-fully thin” she was, she continued tofeel fat and did not enjoy eating.

Characteristics of the MindlessUndereater

MIND

▪ Restricts food intake oreliminates entire foodgroups such as all redmeats, cheese, or wheatproducts

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▪ Engages in food rituals orhas strict, repetitive habitsfor eating; for example, eatsonly frozen meals or eats atthe same time every day

▪ Has a strong desire forperfection

BODY

▪ Experiences a significantdrop in body weight

▪ Has a slow metabolism (herbody burns food veryslowly)

▪ Experiences a variety ofphysical consequences,such as a decrease in heartrate and body temperatureand loss of menstrual cycle

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▪ Is drowsy most of the time,has difficulty concentrating,has low energy

THOUGHTS

▪ Preoccupied withappearance

▪ Feels fat or has a negativebody image

▪ Has an unrealistic percep-tion of her own body

▪ Determines self-worth byweight

▪ Engages in inflexible andextreme either-or, black-or-white thinking

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▪ Makes constant criticaljudgments about weightand self

FEELINGS

▪ Feels fat; disapproves of,and/or is disgusted with herbody

▪ Experiences intense moodfluctuations based on eatingbehavior

▪ Experiences guilt when shebreaks the diet

▪ Examines other people’sbodies, frequently checksmirrors

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▪ Feels as if she “cheated”when she eats somethingthat is not part of her diet

▪ Has difficulty accepting theshape of her own body andwishes for someone else’s

The Mindless OvereaterJessie described herself as a chubbykid. Other children on the block nick-named her “Chunk.” In her home,food was an extremely complicatedissue. Her grandfather, a Holocaustsurvivor who had experienced the ef-fects of forced starvation, encouragedher to eat as much as possible. HerItalian mother’s expression of lovewas to prepare frequent, large, elab-orate meals. In general, the family sat

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around the dinner table in silence.They ate much more than they talked.

As an adult, Jessie was constantlytrying to eat “normally.” She de-scribed her hunger as “ravenous” and“insatiable.” She hoarded cakes, bagsof cookies, bagels, and ice cream. Shepromised herself to eat these foodsonly for dessert or as a snack. But shecould eat an entire cake in one night,without batting an eye, and she oftendid just that. Eating one cookie wasdangerous, because she felt unable tostop until she finished the entire bag.Her eating was “good” unless she hada difficult day at work, after which alate-night binge helped her cope andnot dwell on feelings of inadequacy.Of course, following the binge, shewould feel terribly guilty about all ofher overeating.

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Characteristics of the MindlessOvereater

MIND

▪ Knows that his eating is outof control

▪ Believes that he is unable tostop eating

▪ Experiences intense foodcravings

BODY

▪ Eats more than is con-sidered “average” during aset period

▪ Eats, chews, and swallowsvery rapidly

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▪ Increases or shifts in weightfrequently

▪ Has high blood pressure, fa-tigue, trouble breathing,high cholesterol level, etcetera

THOUGHTS

▪ Is cognizant of fullness butcontinues eating anyway

▪ Avoids scales or discussionsof weight or weight loss

▪ Believes that weight is tiedto success and failure

▪ Engages in supercriticalthinking about self andweight

FEELINGS

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▪ Feels distress over bingeingbehavior

▪ Feels embarrassment thatleads to eating smallamounts of food when inpublic, but large amountswhen alone

▪ Feels like a social outcastbecause of being overweight

The Mindless ChaoticEater

Sam first recognized the severity ofhis mindless eating patterns whenconfronted by his roommate, Jim.Jim discovered that Sam stole hisfood and binged on his stock of candybars whenever Jim left the

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apartment. To hide his thefts, Samwould run to the candy store to re-place the stolen items. He hoped hisroommate wouldn’t notice that hetook the food, but then he was caught.

When Sam gobbled up the candybars, he knew he should stop, but hejust kept shoving candy bars into hismouth. After eating an entire box ofcandy, Sam always felt awful. Heended his binges by making himselfthrow up or by exercising intensely.

He was afraid to get into a rela-tionship for fear his partner woulddiscover his eating problems. In hislast relationship, his partner fre-quently became angry and tried tomake him stop eating so chaotically.Sam ended the relationship becausehe had lost the ability to know which

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foods or people were good or bad forhim.

Characteristics of the MindlessChaotic Eater

MIND

▪ Purchases large amounts offood that are eatensecretively

▪ Overeats, then purges (viavomiting, overexercising,laxatives, and/or diuretics)

BODY

▪ Experiences extreme fluctu-ations in weight

▪ Purges food—pays lengthyvisits to the bathroom after

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eating excessive quantitiesof food

▪ Exercises excessively

▪ Purchases large quantitiesof food, diuretic drugs, and/or diet pills

▪ Has unusual swellingaround jaws

▪ Experiences negative bodyreactions, such asgastrointestinal problems,bloating, gas, headaches,and/or sore throats

THOUGHTS

▪ Thinks about self very crit-ically and negatively

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▪ Experiences self-worth asdetermined by weight

▪ Engages in rigid thinking

FEELINGS

▪ Experiences intense moodswings

▪ Fears being or becoming fat

▪ Doesn’t cope well withstress and anxiety

▪ Feels temporary relief afterpurging

Now that you have identified whatkind of mindless eating you may bepertinent to you, let’s get started. It’stime to learn the art of mindfuleating.

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PART I

MINDFULNESS OF

THE MIND

The secret of health for both mindand body is not to mourn for thepast, not to worry about the future,and not to anticipate troubles, but tolive in the present moment wiselyand earnestly.

—Buddha

#1 Awareness:Awakening Your Mind

“Well,” said Pooh, “what I like best,”and then he had to stop and think.Because although Eating Honey wasa very good thing to do, there was amoment just before you began to eatit which was better than when youwere, but he didn’t know what it wascalled.

—A. A. Milne, The House at PoohCorner

The first step to being mindful is to

become more aware. While it soundssimple, it is a much more difficulttask than you might imagine. You

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might think that you are very con-scious—maybe even painfullyaware—of how you eat. But mindful-ness is a special kind of awareness.It’s not just about bringing things intoyour consciousness but focusing yourattention and senses in a special way.

Let’s say, for example, that you areaware that you are eating a cinnamonroll. Being mindful encompassesmuch more than that realization. It’sturning your attention to how you eatthe roll. Fast? Slow? It’s noticing theshape of the pastry, smelling the cin-namon, and feeling the sticky sugaron your fingers. It’s the taste of it onyour tongue. It’s also observing anyfeelings that pop up when you eat it:guilt, pleasure, longing, warmth. Andfinally, it’s paying attention to thethoughts that are playing in yourmind as you eat, such as worrying

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about calories and cravings. Maybe itmakes you think about your mother,who used to make cinnamon rolls onSunday morning. Just reading abouta cinnamon roll at this very momentmight make you salivate. Clearly, wehave very intense mind-body reac-tions to food.

The good news about developingthis type of awareness is that itdoesn’t take a lot of effort or time. Itdoes not require any actions or majorchanges. Instead, it merely advisesyou to reorient where you place yourattention and your mental focus.Using your five senses can help you tocultivate this kind of mindful aware-ness. When you first become aware ofan object, there is a brief instance ofpure awareness just before youidentify what it is. That happenswhen your awareness jumps to

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alertness via your sense of sight,smell, sound, taste, and touch.

Holly described an example of be-coming more mindful. At first, Hollychanged nothing about the way sheate. Instead, she just paid special at-tention to her eating habits. Holly,one of my clients, noticed that she dida lot of mindless munching, or zoningout, between the time she opened abag of pretzels and finishing the lastfew bites. She didn’t remember muchabout the taste or how much she atein between. Paying attention to thejuicy smell of a freshly cut apple orthe crunchy texture of granola madeher snacking more pleasurable, andshe became more in charge of howmuch she ate. This, in turn, gave hermuch more satisfaction. Holly didn’thave to make any drastic changes toher diet or employ restrictions to

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become a more mindful eater—shesimply paid more attention.

Skill Builder: Mindful Bites

The following is a classic mindful-ness exercise. Mindful eating beginsby slowing down and awakening yoursenses while you are eating. All youneed is a comfortable, quiet space anda handful of sunflower seeds (or rais-ins, or a single cookie). Place theseeds in your palm. First, becomeaware of their color and shape. Si-lently use words to describe to your-self what you see. Compare and con-trast each of the seeds. See the shad-ows, indents, and patterns in theirouter skins. Notice their weight andtexture against your skin. Do theseeds feel light, heavy, rough, or soft?Do they have regular, consistent

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shapes and sizes, or are they all dif-ferent? Next, move some seedsbetween the tips of your fingers. Feeltheir edges and shapes and the sensa-tions they produce in your fingers.Contrast this with how you rememberthem feeling in your palm. Now movethe seeds up toward your face andsmell them. Observe what comes tomind when you take their odor intoyour nostrils. Do they bring to mind amemory or an image? Next, closeyour eyes and place the seeds in yourmouth. Think about what it feels likewhen you run your tongue around theseeds. As you chew the seeds, do youbegin to salivate? Are they crunchy?Observe and describe the taste. Is itsweet, salty, or bitter? What do youhear? Notice the sound of your jawrotating to chew and the sound ofyour swallow. Say the word “seed” in

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your head. Repeat it several times be-fore you swallow. What is the sensa-tion as the chewed seeds slide downyour throat?

Skill Builder: Awakening YourSenses

This exercise also helps you accessand observe your raw sensa-tions—what you see, hear, and feel. Itcan be extremely helpful when youare angry or feel overwhelmed bywhat’s on your mind. Strong emo-tions often make it difficult to staywith pure sensations and just beaware. Here is what to do:

1. Notice the ebb and flow ofyour breathing. Relax.Move around to settle your-self. You are learning howto train your mind to attend

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only to what is happeningin the moment. Start withyour vision. Say to yourself,“I see … ,” and observe whatyou see around you. Identi-fy colors, shapes, and con-trasts in hues and textures.Close your eyes and repro-duce what you saw as animage inside your mind’seye. Move on to what youhear. Say to yourself, “Ihear … ,” and describe thesounds around you.

2. Continue on to what yousmell, taste, and touch.

3. This exercise incorporatesone more sense: your feel-ings. Say to yourself, “I feel… ,” and label your feelings.

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You can feel conflictingemotions simultaneously.For example, you can feelboth happy and sad in thesame moment. Rememberto stay at the level of sensa-tion. Try not to analyze orinterpret.

This exercise is intended to recon-nect you with basic, raw physical sen-sations. Feel what your hands aretouching, attend to what you smell,acknowledge how your body feels inits position. Observe the color of thewalls around you and the details of anobject nearby.

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#2 Observing What’s onYour Mind

He who distinguishes the true savorof his food can never be a glutton; hewho does not cannot be otherwise.

—Henry David Thoreau

Consider how you think about food.

Do you daydream about cake? Obsessover calories? Plot how to get junkfood? Ignore cravings? Push thoughtsof chocolate out of your mind whenyou are on a diet? Your mind is con-stanly swirling and chattering aboutfood. It is hard to slow down and ob-serve how you think about it.

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The mind is like a river, constantlychanging directions. It can movequickly from gently flowing to ragingout of control. At any given moment,you are thinking, dreaming, schem-ing, calculating, processing, and con-templating. These are just a few ex-amples of the many complex thingsyour mind can do.

Observing is just seeing it like it is,without judgment or alteration. Trythinking of observation as being likepainting a picture of what’s going onin your head. While painting this pic-ture, you don’t add an extra dab ofpaint to make your thoughts look bet-ter, or erase parts you don’t like. Nordo you paint it the way you think itshould look. You simply paint what isinside your head, without judgmentor commentary. Do the same with

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observing your thoughts about foodand eating.

When you observe, take a mentalstep back. The vantage point shouldbe from a distance rather than fromright in the middle of the experience.This is like watching yourself on amovie screen instead of being one ofthe actors in it. You can also think ofit to be like looking at your mind fromabove, as if your brain was a pot onthe stove: take the lid off, peek inside,and see what’s stewing in your mind.

Lori used observation skills tochange the way she ordered food atrestaurants. She was incredibly frus-trated by how long it took her to makea selection. To stop the behavior, shebecame aware of her indecision andturned on her watchful mind to ob-serve what stood in the way of a

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simple decision. Lori said, “I noticedwhen I was negotiating. I wasn’t justthinking about satisfying my hunger,I was bargaining with myself. I wassaying things like, ‘If I don’t order thehamburger, I can have a candy barlater. If I have chicken, then I can or-der soup as well.’ I didn’t judge or cri-ticize myself for doing this. After ob-serving my bargaining strategy, I con-cluded that the wisest choice wouldbe to stop negotiating and focus onwhat would be most satisfying andnourishing. Which I did.”

Skill Builder: Observe YourHungry Mind and Your FullMind

To do this exercise, conduct amind experiment. Simply observewhat happens inside and outside of

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yourself when you are hungry as op-posed to when you are not hungry.This might mean when you are full,but it could also just be when you aresatisfied, neither hungry nor full.Notice and describe as much detail aspossible. Observe thoughts, feelings,and what you sense in your body. Youmay want to do this exercise again atvarious states of hunger and full-ness—when you are a little hungry,very hungry, and starving. Try it atdifferent times of the day.

Observing the Hungry Mind:These are some of the activities inwhich the hungry mind engages:planning how to obtain food, craving,desiring, dreaming about a snack,feeling scattered and unable to con-centrate, feeling unsatisfied, beingdistracted by smells, listening intently

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for coworkers leaving for lunch,watching the clock.

Write down in a notebook or digit-al journal how your mind thinkswhen you are hungry.

Observing the Comfortably FullMind: These are some of the activit-ies in which the comfortably full mindengages: feeling satisfied, being ableto focus on work, feeling happy, feel-ing soothed, feeling content, feelingwarm, feeling at rest, being attentive,being aware, thinking about thingsother than food or guilt. You may findthat feeling full may bring up a negat-ive feeling. If so, that is okay; justtake note of it.

Write down in a notebook or digit-al journal how your mind thinkswhen you are full.

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#3 Moment-to-MomentEating

The way you cut your meat reflectsthe way you live.

—Confucius

Let’s imagine that you are sitting at

your kitchen table eating a salad. Nowpicture yourself touching your fork.Next, visualize picking up the forkslowly and piercing a piece of lettuce.Imagine bringing this leaf up to yourmouth and placing it on your tongue.Eating a mindful meal means focus-ing your mind on the process ofeating.

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Think for a moment about the wayyou eat. Do you pop food into yourmouth without a second thought? Orthoughtlessly pick at food left on yourplate even after you are done? Do youfinish the entire bag once it is open?Do you put only one type of food onyour fork at a time? Do you cut eachbite into small pieces? How you eatcan contribute to mindless eating,particularly when your patterns areunconscious and automatic.

Moment-to-moment eating hasmany benefits. It can make eatingmore enjoyable. This is how you trulysavor food. It also can help you avoidbingeing and overeating. Mary con-stantly worried that her cravingswould lead to a binge. She had beendown that road many times. Oftenwhen she indulged in just one

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chocolate chip cookie, she felt thatshe had lost control and had eaten toomany.

To ease her worries, Mary usedmindful eating skills to slow herselfdown. When she gobbled up cookies,she didn’t really enjoy them as muchas she thought she would. So shepracticed paying attention to and sa-voring the sweet, rich taste, themouthwatering smell, and the soft,melting texture of the cookies. Whenshe was really in touch with thesesensations, eating was pleasurableand more controlled. Taking it onemoment at a time helped prevent herfrom entering into an eating trance,whereby she would consume foodwithout really thinking about it ortasting it.

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Skill Builder: Slowly but Surely,Decelerating Your Eating

On your mark, get set, go! Startinga meal can sometimes feel like youhave entered a running race. Youmight find that you race quicklythrough your meal. Or you might dis-cover that you’re a sprinter, withshort bursts of speed, making for anuneven eating pace. Instead, aim for aslower, steady pace. When you reduceyour speed, you can be more presentand in charge of your portion sizes.Here are some simple ways to slowdown:

▪ Switch hands. Place yourfork or spoon in your non-dominant hand and eatwith it. This will help shiftyou out of autopilot eating.

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▪ Turn your fork upsidedown. People in Englandturn their forks down tostab their food and pick itup. As Americans, we scoopwith our forks. The simpleact of scooping can lend it-self to mindless eating.

▪ Use your senses. If youfind that you are eating tooquickly, shift into mindfulmode by focusing on allyour senses—hearing, see-ing, smelling, tasting, feel-ing. Choose one aspect ofthe food to focus your fullattention on. For example,smell your food. Beforeeach bite, intentionally in-hale deeply for a moment.

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▪ Chew, chew, chew. Takea small bite. Set a chew-per-bite ratio (it will vary bywhat you are eating).

▪ Take one bite at a time.Tell yourself, “Stay with thisbite.” Notice whether yourmind wants to push you onto the next bite before youhave finished this one.Don’t go for another biteuntil your mouth is com-pletely empty of this bite.

▪ Eat with small utensils.A baby spoon and a shrimpfork will naturally slowdown your pace and helpyou to take smaller bites.

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▪ Create an intermission.Establish a break duringeating, like you would ex-perience during a playbetween acts. During thattime, take a drink. Or com-mit to putting down yourfork and telling a shortstory or getting up for aminute.

▪ Pace yourself. Runnersoften can’t tell how fast theyare going without concreteclues like a clock or keepingup with another runner.Use your dining compan-ions to help you understandand set your pace. Noticewho is eating the fastestand slowest. Aim to eat inconjunction with or slower

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than the slowest eater at thetable.

▪ Put your fork down fora moment. Take yourhand away. Place it in yourlap. Then begin to eat again.Notice how uncomfortableit may feel to remove yourhand from your utensil.

▪ Set the ambience. Tryplaying slow music thatyour body can move in syncwith.

▪ Ease into it. Maybe youcan’t turn on a dime fromthe rush-rush of daily life. Ifyou find this really challen-ging, just commit to takingone slow bite.

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Skill Builder: In-the-MomentMeals

You can try out moment-to-mo-ment eating by paying attention tothe entire process.

▪ Be aware. Start by lookingat your food, noting the dif-ferent colors andshapes—the vivid red of atomato to the smooth andsilky texture of yogurt.Watch your hand reach forthe spoon or fork. Pay at-tention to how quickly youdo this. Acknowledge grasp-ing and lifting a knife andcutting meat. Notice how itfeels when you open andclose your mouth. Be alertto how you chew, the tem-perature of the food, the

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taste. Acknowledge whatyou hear, such as the foodsizzling, the crunchingnoise that chewing makes,the sound produced byslurping through a straw.Continue to notice eachsensation, right throughswallowing. This ismoment-to-moment eating.

▪ Try chopsticks. One wayto slow down the process ofeating is to challenge theway you’ve always done it.Try eating a meal using apair of chopsticks instead ofyour customary utensils.This will force you to takesmaller portions, eat moreslowly, and look at yourfood more closely. Touch

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the chopsticks, feel yourfingers flex and grip them,and describe the experienceto yourself. At first, youmay have trouble pickingup the food. Stay with it.Keep trying.

▪ Create a gap. Observe thegap between each bite. Ifyou struggle with a habit ofpicking at your food, closelywatch your hand leave theplate. Notice the gap inspace and time that existsbetween your hand leavingthe plate and it moving to-ward your mouth andtouching it. Fill that spacewith a mantra (“Eat, drink,and be mindful!”) or achoice (“I decide where my

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hand will move next”), orjust pay attention to howquickly your hand moves.

▪ Play “I Spy.” Play “I Spy”:cup your hands in a circle,look through them like youare peering through a tele-scope, and look down atyour plate—just see one biteat a time.

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#4 Balancing What YouEat with How You Eat

Becky started a food diary. She

wrote down everything she ate in-cluding how many calories she con-sumed. Becky winced every time shehad to write down something sheconsidered a “mistake” or “cheating.”She didn’t want to share those entrieswith her dietitian, so she quit afterjust a day or two. She knew the diarywould be helpful but couldn’t seem toget herself to do it.

Many weight management pro-grams encourage you to record whatyou eat. This is nothing new.

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However, traditional food logs oftenask you only to keep track of theserving size and the calorie content. Amindful food diary is much different.You write down many different di-mensions of eating. For example, youexplore what you were feeling beforeand after you ate. Then you take noteof what you were thinking at the time.You also assess your hunger level andhow your attention shifted as you ate.Overall, keeping a mindful food diaryhelps you to become much moreaware of how and why you areeating.

Here is an important caveat beforeyou get started. Be sure to use a com-passionate voice. If you judge whatyou eat, it’s unlikely you will write itdown; you may avoid keeping a re-cord of what you eat altogether. If youwant to start a food diary, but seem to

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struggle with it emotionally, youmight prefer to take a step back towork on compassion first (see #11,The Compassionate Mind).

Skill Builder: Be Mindful of theFour Pillars

Start keeping a mindful food di-ary. Record everything you eat everyday for several weeks. If trackingfoods and specific details increasesyour anxiety or obsessiveness, justtrack how eating affects each pil-lar—your mind, body, thoughts, andfeelings. Remember, this is to helpyou to become more aware and intune with your eating habits. While itmay be an investment of time now,later you’ll become much better atkeeping track in your head alone.When that day comes, you may no

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longer need to record anything on pa-per or digitally.

If you would like help creating amindful eating journal, you can pur-chase the Eating Mindfully app. Typein your meals or snacks, or snap apicture. Then, record how it affectsyour mind, body, feelings, andthoughts. There is also a mindfulhunger scale to help you determine ifyou are eating because you are phys-ically hungry or to fill an emotionalneed. Finally, you can set the alarmfunction to chime to remind you didmindfully during a particular time ofthe day.

Here is an example of an entry ina mindful food log:

MY MINDFULNESS FOOD DIARY

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Breakfast: Muffin, Orange Juice,Banana

Mindfulness of Mind: I felt reallyhungry this morning. I didn’t havemuch to eat last night. I have a lot ofdemanding things to do today. It washard to stay focused on eating. I mayneed to pay more attention to myhunger when I’m really stressed out.

Mindfulness of Body: My body feltbetter after eating this breakfast. Iknow I should bring a snack to workfor 10 o’clock, because this won’t beenough to carry me through to lunch.At this moment, though, I am nothungry, and I don’t feel stuffed. I feeljust right.

Mindfulness of Thoughts: I no-ticed that my critical self appearedagain and questioned whether I could

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really afford to eat the muffin. Then Ihad an argument in my head. I reas-sured myself that it was okay to eatthe muffin. I also checked in with mybody, which felt fine.

Mindfulness of Feelings: Themuffin was great. It was crumbly andsweet, and it made my mouth water. Inoticed feeling that I was doing a badthing because I was taking suchpleasure in the muffin. Overall,though, I felt good about eating it,and I let go of the worry.

Keep this kind of record for an en-tire day to document every meal andsnack you eat. Then try to keep a fooddiary for a week, two weeks, a month.You will get a very clear picture ofyour eating patterns and habits,which will be very helpful to you on

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your journey toward eating mindfullyall the time.

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#5 Mindful Meals:Contemplating Food

When a popular fast-food chain

proposed opening a restaurant at thebase of an ancient landmark, theSpanish steps in Rome, there was anenormous outcry from the com-munity. Why did they mind so much?Italians are famous for their lengthy,leisurely meals. The presence of afast-food restaurant threatened thiscultural stance on eating. Eating is anexperience. It is not to be rushed ordone on the fly. American culture of-ten emphasizes the extreme oppositeof leisurely dining, inherent in theterm “fast food.”

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The “slow food movement,” whichis common in European countries, isa way of eating and living that honorsfood. It celebrates the process of eat-ing and savoring food. Thankfully, itis becoming more popular in Americaand around the world. It connects en-joying food with a commitment totaking care of the environment.

While the idea of savoring food isbecoming more popular, it may stillfeel very new and difficult to put intopractice. Slowing down can feel like aforeign concept. Multitasking, or do-ing several things simultaneously,seems like a much more efficient wayto get things done when you are busy.For example, you might talk on thephone while cooking, or read a bookwhile in class. Eating is an activityperformed so automatically that youmay find yourself surfing the

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Internet, reading the newspaper or ablog, talking, watching TV, and listen-ing to music at the same time aseating.

While multitasking appears tosave time, doing it while you eat hassome major downsides. Researchshows that dividing your attentionbetween eating and another task, likewatching TV or listening to the radio,increases the likelihood of overeating(Hetherington et al. 2006). Eating infront of the TV, for example, in-creases intake by 14 percent, whiletalking to a friend can increase howmuch you consume by 18 percent.Basically, doing two things at oncecan inhibit your concentration andawareness. This impairs your abilityto choose foods wisely. In the ex-treme, splitting your attention can bedangerous, as in the case of trying to

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wrestle a sandwich out of a wrapperwhile you drive. However, for under-eaters, who need to eat more, distrac-tion can be used for your benefit: eat-ing while watching a movie or duringsocial events can increase your con-sumption without you overthinking itor being hypervigilent about calories.

Alex’s eating habits were stronglydictated by convenience. She pre-ferred anything that she could grabwhile she was walking out the door.She ate at her desk or in the car. Tak-ing a more mindful approach beganwith a simple action—just sittingdown in one place when she ate. Thenshe put food on a plate instead of eat-ing it right out of a fast food bag.Rather than answering her e-mailsand phone messages during lunch,she committed to doing one thing at atime. When she ate, she just ate. She

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focused on the act and process ofeating.

For the first time, Alex reallytasted her lunch. Her brain and stom-ach were able to register the fact thatfood had entered her body, and theysent her a clear message when shewas full. She made fewer carelessmistakes on her work that were theresult of dividing her attentionbetween working and eating. Best ofall, she was more conscious of howmuch she ate rather than just finish-ing the portion size given to her.

Skill Building: Mindful Meals

Start with one mealtime: break-fast, brunch, lunch, or supper. Choosea specific location to eat, such as atyour kitchen table or in the lunch-room at work. Sit quietly in that area,

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and don’t allow any distractions.Place all the food you intend to eat onthe table before starting so you don’thave to get up. Don’t answer thephone if it rings. Put away the news-paper, turn off the TV, stay away fromyour e-mail. Just eat. It may feel un-comfortable at first. As you do this ex-ercise, pay attention to what youthink, how you enjoy your food, andthe amount you consume.

Skill Builder: Zooming In

Put a loose rubber band aroundyour wrist. When you feel that yourmind is wandering or that you are nottruly present, snap the rubber bandlightly. This isn’t to cause pain but totap yourself lightly with a new sensa-tion. If you are eating and seem likeyou can’t stop, you can try this

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technique. The aim is to move you in-to the now and to get you out of amindless eating trance.

Skill Building: Mindful Walking

Mindfulness teachers traditionallyassign their students to do a walkingexercise. This is meant to demon-strate the value of channeling themind onto one activity only. You maywish to try it. This can give you goodpractice at doing one thing at a time.You may want to pick one sensationto focus on. Students are instructed tonotice how they walk, their pace, themovement of their legs, the soundsaround them, and their feet hittingthe ground. The exercise teaches thestudents not to think, just to walk andobserve. By analogy, if you are eating,

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just focus on the process of eating andenjoying your meal.

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#6 Minding How YouEat

Imagine for a moment that you have

a handful of nuts in your right andleft hands. In your right hand, thepeanuts are in the shell. In your lefthand, they’ve been taken out of theshell. Consider how quickly youwould eat the peanuts in your lefthand versus your right. It’s not aneasy task to get the peanuts out oftheir shell. It’s likely that you couldeat the entire handful of shelled pea-nuts in a matter of seconds—beforeyou even get the first peanut out of itsshell.

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If you love nuts but steer clear ofthem because you are afraid of eatingtoo many, the good news is that youdon’t have to avoid them anymore.Sometimes changing how you eatsomething, like peanuts, can make abig difference. Eating nuts from theshell gives you a great opportunity forlearning mindful eating.

Dr. Jim Painter and several col-leagues at the School of Family andConsumer Sciences at Eastern IllinoisUniversity found that subjects offeredin-shell pistachios consumed an aver-age of 125 calories. In the second partof the study, subjects offered pista-chios removed from the shell con-sumed an average of 211 calories(Kennedy-Hagan et al. 2011). Thisconstituted a difference of 86 calor-ies. What’s interesting is that the par-ticipants rated their fullness and

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satisfaction the same despite the factthat one group ate more (Honselmanet al. 2011). Keep in mind that amindful approach isn’t obsessivelyconcerned with the calories. Present-ing these numbers is meant to quanti-fy the difference, not to urge you tocut down on calories.

Thus, simply buying pistachios intheir shells will help you to eat themmore mindfully. Why? Because ittakes time to remove the pistachiosfrom their shells. This reduces thetendency to pop them mindlessly intoyour mouth. Anything that naturallyslows you down will help you to bemore in charge of your portion size.While that study focused on pista-chios, other nuts and foods wouldlikely have a congruent result.

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Another study by the School ofFamily and Consumer Sciencesshowed that people who kept theshells in sight versus throwing themaway consumed an average of 216calories (Kennedy-Hagan et al. 2011).The other half of the people threw outthe shells. These subjects consumedan average of 264 calories, a differ-ence of 48 calories. They termed thisthe “Pistachio Effect.” This meansthat just looking at a pile of pistachioshells can significantly reduce thetotal number you eat, since it helpsyou to remember how many youalready ate. Without this visual cue,you can really underestimate or forgethow much you ate.

Skill Builder: Using the Pista-chio Effect

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Keep visual cues of what you eat.This can help you to be aware andmore conscious of how much you eat.The pistachio effect principle also isapplicable to many other foods. Acup, candy wrapper, or snack bag lefton your desk is a good visual remind-er of what you’ve eaten or drunk. It’svery easy and normal to forget whatyou’ve consumed when you havemany things to remember. So thenext time you have a craving for nuts,it may be worth taking a scoop of nutsthat are in their shells. It’s nice whena snack food can assist you to natur-ally and easily eat more mindfully.

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#7 EmotionalCategorizing

In the sky, there is no distinction ofeast and west; people create distinc-tions out of their own minds and thenbelieve them to be true.

—Buddha

Do you sit in the same seat at the

dinner table for each meal? Eat thesame cereal every single day? Snackin front of the TV at the same timeeach day? Inflexible eating routinesare a common cause of mindless eat-ing. On the upside, habits and repeti-tion help to simplify the world. They

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make the overwhelming decision ofchoosing what to eat pretty simpleand quick. You make more than 200decisions every single day about whatto eat and not to eat (Wansink andSobal 2007). It’s no wonder you canget so exhausted by it! The downsideis that habits don’t force you to con-sciously think through each and everydecision. You get stuck doing thesame thing over and over again.

A common habit is to categorizefood based on emotions. This meansthat you may look at a food and auto-matically think, “Too fattening” or“That brownie is bad!” Other feelings-based categories might be “safe” or“unsafe,” or “good” or “bad,” or “I likeit” or “I don’t like it.” Categories canbe problematic when you typecast afood in a mindless, automatic way. Inother words, you decide that you are

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going to eat it based on what arbitrarycategory you’ve placed the food inrather than many other factors, likewhether it tastes good, is healthy foryou, and so on. The thought processis like this: “That meatball sandwichis bad, therefore I can’t have it.” Emo-tional responses like this are cripplingto mindful eating because they placerigid boundaries around food thataren’t necessarily intrinsic to thatfood. So be wary of categorizing foodbased on your feelings. Start to payattention to whether you makechoices based on emotional reflexesor dieting restrictions rather than bymindfully tuning in.

Amy believed she ate in a healthymanner, until she took a consciousinventory of her food consumption.Amy ate a pretty rigid menu. It con-sisted mostly of salad, bagels, and

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other “diet foods.” Although she loveda wide variety of foods, she ate thesediet foods because they were low infat. They were on her safe list—nottoo many calories or fat. If she ateonly these things, she didn’t have tomake many decisions. Amy automat-ically said no to things like cheese andcertain meats, because she had readthat they have high fat contents. Evenavocados were placed in theautomatic-no category, even thoughthey are healthy in many ways.

Creating emotion-based food cat-egories had allowed Amy to eatwithout much guilt or thought.However, she became extremelybored with what she ate. More im-portant, it reduced her intake of cru-cial protein, vitamins, and minerals.Thinking that she “couldn’t” and“shouldn’t” eat various foods began to

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prey on her mind. Having few optionsmade her angry. It was draining towant something from outside her lim-ited menu and yet say no just becauseit wasn’t on the safe list. This madeeating no fun.

Skill Builder: UnderstandingEmotional Food Categories

Try the following exercises to helpyou truly understand the nature ofcategorizing:

▪ Test your categorizingresponse. Go to your cup-board right now. Take outthe first thing you see. Pickit up. What are the thoughtsand emotions that come tomind when you look at it:“Yum” or “Yuck”? “I lovethis food” or “No way I’d eat

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this—it’s too fattening”?“Bland” or “Tasty”? “Safe toeat” or “Not on my safelist”? Pay attention to yourvery first gut reaction. Whatemotional category do youplace this food in? Whatother labels do you attachto it? Now pick up anotherfood and repeat. Doing thisexercise will show you howautomatic your reactionsare to food. These gut reac-tions, in part, dictatewhether you eat something.At your next meal, noticehow your mind sorts andorganizes food.

▪ Stop categorizing. This isan important mindfulnessskill in general, not just for

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food. Placing things in cat-egories is a judgment. Italso closes your mind topossibilities instead ofopening it. For example,notice when you call a food“good” or “bad.” Rememberthat the food itself in not in-herently “good” or “bad.”It’s what you do with thefood that is important. Doyou savor it or mindlesslymunch on it? It’s true thatsome foods are healthierthan others. But instead oflabeling them “good” or“bad” or putting them inemotion-based categorieson the “safe” or “unsafe”lists of your diet, think ofthese foods as being on acontinuum. A tomato is on

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the healthier end of thecontinuum whereas fastfood may be toward the op-posite end. A continuum al-lows you to respond moreflexibly to these foods.

▪ Check your food rules.Listen closely to yourthoughts about restrictionsyou put on food. Writethem down. Notice whetheryou follow these rules auto-matically with little or nothought. These food rulesmay be part of what is keep-ing you stuck. If, for ex-ample, you tell yourself, “Ican’t eat snacks in the lateafternoon,” realize that fol-lowing this rule may make

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it difficult to keep your hun-ger in check.

▪ Remove the “bad” labelfrom treats. You can doso by giving a cookie a pur-pose or function. Thinkthrough why you might eatit. Is your intention to havea snack? Are you eating itfor a treat? To relievestress? Because you arehungry? If it is a treat, eatthe cookie in mindful bites,or use it to satisfy a cravingfor sweets. Or give yourselfa prescription for a once-a-day dose of a cookie.

Skill Builder: Shake Up YourRoutines

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Break out of your standardroutine. Whether you go to the gro-cery store and buy the same itemsweek after week, or zoom down theaisles looking for the specials, dosomething different. Examine andbuy an exotic fruit like a mango, apapaya, or an Asian pear. Or try a loafof artisan whole-wheat bread. Add atouch of spice and variety to yourmeals. Walk through the store mind-fully examining each item. Be awareof products you’ve never noticed be-fore. Touch and turn over packages,smell the fruits, examine everything,and try a new food.

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#8 Sitting Still with YourPain

Endurance is one of the most difficultdisciplines, but it is to the one whoendures that the final victory comes.

—Buddha

If you’ve picked up this book, it’s

likely that you know how tough eatingcan be. Food has probably caused youa lot of grief in one way or another.Perhaps you’ve been unable to sleepat night because you were starving.Or you couldn’t get anything done be-cause you felt so guilty for eating toomany helpings of mashed potatoes.

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Trying to balance your eating habitswith feeling good about your bodycan be incredibly taxing on yourmood and cause a lot of emotionalpain—frustration, hopelessness, fear,et cetera.

Buddhist philosophy talks a lotabout suffering. The desire to escapesuffering is the deep emotional rootof many issues, particularly mindlesseating. Interestingly, eating (and noteating) can cause pain, but it can alsodistract from things that are bother-ing you (Heatherton and Baumeister1991). When you eat, maybe yourmind isn’t thinking about paying thebills or your awful boss. When youare really hungry, your mind focuseson wanting food, not your rocky rela-tionship with your significant other.Therefore, sometimes you may eat

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just to avoid feeling uncomfortable orsad.

Rachel called on the lyrics ofKenny Rogers’s song “The Gambler”to describe how she hid from herfears and never knew when to facethem. She felt that identifying exactlywhen to “hold them,” “fold them,”“walk away,” or “run” wasn’t herstrongest skill. That is, she hadtrouble deciding when to run fromdanger and when to stand her groundand confront her fears.

If you aren’t a fighter, your naturalstrategy for surviving in the worldmay be to flee or freeze in place. Ar-guments, pain, conflict, difficult pro-jects, and anxiety can be very hard totolerate. When you are mindful, youdon’t run from life, even from thosethings that are most painful. Accept

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experience as it is, as hard as thatmay be. Sometimes the places you goto escape cause more problems thanthe place from which you started. Forexample, if you avoid fixing a flat tire,you may ruin your entire car insteadof having to just fix the tire.

One way to be mindful is to wel-come in every experience, even thosethat are difficult. It sounds odd. Butthe point is to make the fear less scaryand less in control of you. Tonya, forexample, entered therapy to discussher fear of sexual intimacy. She haddeveloped a suspiciously repetitivedating pattern. When the relationshipbecame physical, she quickly backedaway. A mindful approach urged herto examine what she was mindlesslyrunning from in each relationship. Asit turned out, it wasn’t sex she fearedbut being self-conscious about her

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body. She feared that her body wouldnot be attractive to, and would there-fore be rejected by, the men shedated. Tonya was a healthy, desirableweight, but she was still grapplingwith her emotions and her criticalself-judgments. It wasn’t dating orfinding the right guy that was theproblem. Instead, her discomfort withher body was what was truly standingin the way.

Skill Builder: Sitting with Un-comfortable Feelings

Stress eating is a way of pushingaway your emotions. Food numbsand distracts you. To counter that, tryto “feel the feelings.” This means tostay with the uncomfortable feelingwithout soothing yourself with food.When you have the urge to stress eat,

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get one piece of hard candy, like abutterscotch or a peppermint. Com-mit to sitting still and sucking on thecandy without chewing on it. It willtake a while for this piece of candy todissolve in your mouth. Notice whatis happening in your mind as you waitfor this piece of candy to melt. Identi-fy the specific feeling that is drivingyou to stress eat. When it is com-pletely and totally dissolved, reevalu-ate how you feel. Ask yourself if youstill feel like stress eating. If so, re-peat again with another candy.

Skill Builder: Unclutter YourMind Meditation

In this exercise you will try to em-brace rather than push away any is-sues that you may be avoiding whenyou eat or don’t eat. Take a few

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moments to sit still. Maybe it is whenyou are sitting quietly in your car orbefore you go to bed at night. Askyourself if there are any feelings,thoughts, or problems you are tryingto escape or avoid. Have you putsomething aside, hoping it will justget better gradually, without any in-put from you? Sort through the issueyou don’t like to think about. Do thisby imagining your mind as your desk.When you sit down at a cluttereddesk, often the first impulse is toclean it. Putting papers into neatpiles, eliminating clutter, and creat-ing space foster a sense of relief. Fa-cing your problems rather than avoid-ing them is like making your messydesk manageable instead of findinganother place to sit.

What does your mind look like?What is the messiest area? Do you

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stuff clutter and bad feelings away ina drawer? Are you obsessed with or-der? Accept whatever feelings arise.They might be anger, frustration, orpain. Try not to think of ways to fix it,just acknowledge whatever you feeland sit still with the feelings. Set asideyour desire to change the things thattrouble you, and just examine what iscluttering up your mind.

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#9 Living in the Now

Do not dwell in the past, do notdream of the future, concentrate themind on the present moment.

—Buddha

Where is your mind right now? Are

you thinking about the future, tellingyourself, “I will start eating better to-morrow.” Or maybe your mind is inthe past thinking, “I can’t stop regret-ting eating that third slice of pizza!”When you are mindful, your mind isfocused on right now. It’s easy to be-come trapped in memories from thepast and fantasies about the future.These two mind-sets entice you away

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from being truly present in the mo-ment. The consequence is alwaysthinking, “I should have” or “I can’twait until,” rather than “I am righthere, right now.” Stay aware of thistruth: the present moment is the onlyreal time you ever have. You can’tchange the past or control the future,but you can impact what you areeating right now.

Contemplating the past can behelpful when the purpose is to under-stand and know yourself better. Re-flection is most helpful when it isdone with an accepting stance and thedesire is to learn from the past ratherthan to change it. For example, youmight look back at your food log tounderstand why you tend to snack atnight.

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Many mindless eaters have hadmore than their share of painful pastexperiences. They may have experi-enced bullying about their weight as akid or scathing comments about theirbody from a parent. Not surprising,such memories are likely to be ever-present in the mind, consciously orsubconsciously. Such memories candraw you away from the present andtempt you to live in the past, mentallyreworking what you “should havedone.” If this is true for you, it is im-portant to work on treating and heal-ing your pain so that you can enjoyliving in the present.

Skill Builder: Living in thePresent

In this exercise, you will learn onetype of Buddhist meditation for

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letting go of the past and living in thepresent. It is called dhyana medita-tion. It slows down your mind to pre-vent you from jumping from onethought to another.

In this exercise, choose a thoughtthat often interferes with your abilityto live in the moment. It could be arecurring thought about your appear-ance, or a mistake you made, or anunkindness you experienced. It couldbe a repeating thought aboutanything.

Next, imagine a stream flowingdown the side of a grassy hill. Pictureyourself sitting by the side of thestream watching leaves and twigsfloat by. You can think about yourmind as if it were a flowing stream.Thoughts, like leaves, constantly floatby. At the bank of the stream, you can

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stop the leaves and pick them up outof the water, or you can watch themfloat by you. You can do the samewith your thoughts. You can pick oneout of your many thoughts and dwellon it, or you can let it float by with allof your other thoughts. Notice whennegative thoughts about yourself oryour body come into your awareness.Don’t react to them. Instead, you cantake note of their presence and letthem float right by you. If you have anegative thought about your past,picking it up and dwelling on it cantrap you in the past and prevent youfrom living in the moment. If youmust reach for that thought, hold itbriefly, then visualize tossing it backinto the stream. Let it go.

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#10 What’s on YourMind? Not on Your

Plate!

To conquer oneself is a greater vic-tory than to conquer thousands in abattle.

—Buddha

Tina told a compelling story about

how difficult it was to cope with herfear of a small, protruding growth onher belly. Terrified that it was cancer,she did not go to the doctor. After twoyears, the benign growth had expan-ded so much that it weighed close toten pounds. If she had addressed the

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problem early on, it could have beenremoved by a simple, virtually pain-less surgical procedure. But letting itgrow for as long as she had causednumerous other health problems,nearly insurmountable emotional is-sues, and social isolation. None ofthese issues were caused by thegrowth itself. They were the result ofnot attending to it. Tina finally had tohave extensive, invasive surgery to re-move it. Had she continued to ignoreit, eventually it would have killed her.

In a way, we all carry around atype of noncancerous growth: the is-sues that aren’t big at first, but thelonger we avoid dealing with themout of fear, the faster they grow andthe more they weigh us down. Facingsome pain in the present can forestallmuch bigger pain in the future. Ad-dressing a weight issue, or any other

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problem silently expanding in yourbody or your psyche, will lighten yourmind and heart.

Madison struggled with her eatingfor many years. She gained a lot ofweight quickly and was unable to al-ter this despite many efforts. For her,gaining weight was a form of protec-tion. As a young adult, she was sexu-ally assaulted. Subconsciously, shebelieved that being overweight wouldprevent men from being interested inher, so she wouldn’t have to face deal-ing with the assault. This eventuallyevolved into another problem: theovereating of food.

Like with Madison, sometimesfood is only part of the issue. It is justthe visual manifestation of other con-cerns. Food is a very easily obtain-able, legal, and constantly present

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substance. It can numb you andprovide temporary soothing and com-fort. Also, unlike drugs and alcohol,food is a more socially acceptabledrug and emotional anesthetic. Con-sider whether you are eating to numbother worries in your life.

Eating is something people haveto deal with every single day, whichmakes it one of the most difficult un-dertakings to alter. Unlike using alco-hol or drugs, which you can cut outfrom your life entirely, you cannotstop eating food. Eating mindfullymeans learning how to fine-tune yourfood consumption, not how to elimin-ate it.

Mindless eating problems are likeicebergs, because it is very hard to seehow deep they go and what they hide.The “tip of the iceberg” is the visible

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aspect of your food consumption:how many times a day you eat, thespecific types of foods you consume,and the quantity. But the real ques-tion of why you eat what you eat is in-visible and can be answered only byexploring within yourself—by ex-amining the unseen part of the ice-berg beneath the surface.

Skill Builder: The IssuesBeneath Mindless Eating

Visualize a large iceberg in themiddle of the Arctic Ocean. Presumethat the “tip of the iceberg” representswhat, when, and how much you eat.To find out why you eat, you mustdive under the freezing waters to seethe core of the glacial mass.

What’s under the iceberg? Make alist of any problems that may be

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festering and triggering eating prob-lems, such as stress, feeling over-whelmed, anger, et cetera. If you can’tname what these triggers are, that’sokay. Just be watchful of your reac-tion and emotions around food. Startbeing attentive to what feelings trig-ger emotional eating—fear, pain, loss,rejection, hopelessness, stress, anxi-ety, and the like—or any type of eat-ing that isn’t precipitated by physicalhunger.

Remember that turning awayfrom the issues below the surface canbe hazardous and leave you vulner-able to unpredictable, hiddendangers. The Titanic sank because ofa large portion of the iceberg that laybelow the surface. Don’t let unex-amined emotions rock your boat.

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#11 The CompassionateMind

If you want others to be happy, prac-tice compassion. If you want to behappy, practice compassion.

—Dalai Lama

What do you say to yourself when

you’ve eaten past the point of beingfull? If you struggle with eating, youare familiar with how easy it is to lackcompassion for yourself. When you’veeaten too many cookies, it’s hard tobe forgiving and say kind things toyourself. In fact, you might call

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yourself “bad” or “weak” (or evenharsher names!) for eatingmindlessly.

A key component of improvingyour eating habits is changing theway you talk to yourself. Self-criti-cism and name calling are the polaropposite of compassion. It may seemcounterintuitive. You might think toyourself, “But won’t I just mindlesslyeat again if I am kind to myself?Doesn’t this just give me liberty to doit again?” But beating yourself upwith criticism only makes you feelworse and can prompt more mindlesseating. The cycle goes like this: over-eat, feel bad, criticize yourself, feelbad about yourself, eat to sootheyourself, repeat. Compassion, on theother hand, stops this cycle by help-ing you examine the entire sequenceof events rather than judge it.

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Compassion is very different than al-lowing or excusing behavior.

In Buddhist teaching, people areinstructed on how to be compassion-ate—that is, to show respect and loveto every single living entity. Since youare a living entity, being compassion-ate also means having empathy foryourself. Compassion includes havingpatience, generosity, tolerance, andforgiveness not only for others butalso for your own struggles. Compas-sionate behavior also means lettinggo of envy, spite, critical attitudes,and the desire for revenge. These ele-ments of compassion are integral as-pects of living in a way that does noharm—to others or to yourself. Theyare fundamental Buddhist principlesfor living well.

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Buddha emphasized that youyourself, as much as anybody in theentire universe, deserve your loveand affection. No matter who you are,you need and have the right to betreated well. You cannot treat your-self well if you are not gentle andcompassionate with yourself aboutyour own issues.

Skill Builder: Being MindfullyCompassionate

Speak to yourself with compas-sionate rather than harsh words.Buddha instructs us that one wordthat brings peace is better than athousand hollow words. Rememberthat compassion helps you to thinkdeeply and honestly about whattriggered an episode of mindlesseating.

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If speaking kindly to yourself isforeign to you, imagine the words youwould say to a small child. When youstart getting down on yourself,counter critical thoughts with state-ments like these:

It’s okay; next time, it willbe easier.

I really do try hard, but Ihad a really tough day.

It’s not my fault. Let’s tryagain.

It’s a struggle to be mindfulwhen I feel this way.

I understand; I know this ishard.

Everyone makes mistakes.

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I am in pain about this, butit will pass.

Being mindful is a process;it takes time.

I want what is best for me.

I love and accept my-self—no matter what hap-pens, or what I do.

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#12 Dealing with theBlues Mindfully

Linda came home at six o’clock

every evening, stressed out from cold-calling prospective customers. Evenbefore she took off her coat, shewalked directly to the kitchen. Shegrabbed anything that was withineasy reach to cram into her mouth.There were many days when she de-voured a steady stream of pretzelsand dry cereal until dinner was ready.Then she ate dinner. One day, as shewalked into her apartment, she got aphone call. She sat down, took thecall, and then sat there thinking about

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her day. Two hours passed before sheate.

Nearly everyone is vulnerable tomindless eating. Life is stressful!Feeling stressed out is a commontrigger of mindless eating, even forthe healthiest of eaters. Linda neededtime to relax from her day. She haddeveloped an automatic habit ofreaching for food as a way to unwind.On most days, she was more stressedthan hungry, judging by the way shegrabbed anything. Food can comfortand soothe because it instantlychanges your senses and distractsyou. Sometimes it is easier to eatmindlessly than to deal directly withthe source of stress, particularly if it issomething like confronting your bossor apologizing to your spouse.

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On the other hand, too muchstress can also skew your appetite sothat you no longer feel or notice yourhunger. Jane didn’t eat when she wasstressed. When she was a teenager,she had taken care of her alcoholicmother. Jane remembers combingthe bars at three o’clock in the morn-ing looking for her mother mostnights. As an adult, her life had begunto resemble her mother’s misfortunesand mistakes. She got married andthen divorced in a very short period.She was moody, lacked energy, hadtrouble sleeping, didn’t enjoy her life,and had zero appetite. She ate barelyenough to function. Not eatingenough was making her stressed, andbeing stressed made her not want toeat.

Stress, whether too much or toolittle, can make it difficult to truly feel

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your hunger. What’s bothering youseems to take center stage.

Skill Builder: Soothe Stress

Finding ways to soothe and com-fort yourself without food is a big top-ic. I wrote an entire book about itcalled 50 Ways to Soothe Yourselfwithout Food. That book offers ideasfor easing stress and tension withouteating. Here are two:

▪ When you feel over-whelmed by stress, sit downin a comfortable place. Curlyour toes up tight. Hold fora moment, then release.Next, clench your fists uptight, then release. Pressyour elbows tight againstyour sides, then release.Next, squeeze your bottom

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cheeks together, then re-lease. Move up to yourshoulders. Lift yourshoulders high up into theair, hold for a moment, andthen release. Clench yourteeth together and tightenyour jaw, and then release.Creating a controlled mo-ment of tension and thenremoving it can be soothingto your body.

▪ For another way to releasestress, imagine thatsomeone has stuck a paint-brush through the side ofyour head. The handle issticking out of the right sideand the brush is coming outof the left side. Move yourneck up and down as if you

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are painting with the brushon a canvas. Move just yourneck and head. Visualizemaking large strokes andsmall ones, or painting apicture. Then imagine thebrush coming out of theother side of your head, andrepeat.

Skill Builder: Identify the Issues

Sadness, frustration, substanceabuse, stress, trauma, sexual andemotional abuse, and anxiety aresome of the feelings and experiencesthat can make you particularly vul-nerable to mindless eating. Therefore,it is important to identify whetheryou have any ongoing issues thatneed to be addressed first to help youget a handle on your eating.

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▪ Identify the obstacles.What is clouding yourawareness? Depression?Anger? Relationship issues?Reading self-help, medical,and mental health booksmay be useful. Consultquality websites and ex-perts. Gather and studyquality information. See theResources section at theback of this book for leads.

▪ Discuss your problemswith a trusted friend.Talk it out. When you listento others, you may be sur-prised by the universality ofthe human experience ofpain and suffering.

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▪ Consult a professional.Counseling can help youidentify which emotionalbarriers may be blockinghealing from mindlesseating.

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#13 “Letting It Go”Mindfully

Make the best use of what is in yourpower and take the rest as ithappens.

—Epictetus

Victoria had had a tough day at

work. All she wanted was a big scoopof strawberry ice cream. While shewas licking the sweet, creamy dessert,she didn’t think about all the politicshappening at work, or any other wor-ries, for that matter. Nothing else wastroubling her as long as she waseating.

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We hold on tight to positive,happy experiences and avoid negativethoughts and states of mind in the de-sire to get rid of the negative quickly.Being mindful is letting an experiencejust be what it is without trying tochange it. Letting go is acceptingthings the way that they are. Youdon’t have to like your body or enjoyeating mindfully to be able to acceptboth your body and the practice ofeating mindfully.

Victoria often heard this thoughtfloating through her mind: “I have toget control over my eating habits.”Many dieting strategies try to ham-mer in the concepts of control andwillpower. This notion has been detri-mental to many, including Victoria.

Food problems are often highlycorrelated with control issues in

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general. The desire to be in controlmay be an attempt to achieve a senseof order and control in life and yourbody. Choosing to “let go” of thethings mostly out of your control isone way to handle the situation. Amindful approach relinquishes effortsto dominate people or events that areutterly out of your control and en-courages you to accept change as ithappens and take charge of the thingsthat are in your hands. Change isgood, natural, and inevitable, eventhough unfamiliarity produces dis-comfort. The unease that accompan-ies change often indicates only thatlife feels different, but it is not neces-sarily worse.

Skill Builder: Small Ways to LetGo of Control

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Establishing the right mind-set isa beneficial way to begin your prac-tice of letting go. Here are somesuggestions:

▪ View yourself as beingin charge. Think about be-ing in charge as opposed tobeing in control of a task orproject, whether that’splanning a party or eatingdinner. Telling yourself thatyou are in charge gives yousome flexibility and lightensyour responsibility. Youmay not be able to controlthe outcome, but you can bemindful and engaged inevery other way.

▪ Refocus. Is feeling out ofcontrol, particularly whenyou eat, equated to failure

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in your mind? The nexttime this happens, recon-ceptualize this feeling asyour go-with-the-flow atti-tude, or focus on what youlearned from theexperience.

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#14 Letting Go of Dieting

Notice your first reaction after you

read the following directive: “Stop di-eting.” Are you thinking, “I can’t letgo of dieting! I’ve been doing it solong!” Or are you saying, “Whew! Fin-ally, I can stop dieting.” Your reactionto the instruction to stop dieting tellsyou how much you’ve adopted adieting mind-set. You may need to re-program your brain to accept thatyou hold the internal wisdom tochange the way you eat.

Letting go of dieting can seem un-imaginable. If you’ve been dieting foryears it may be difficult to alter yourway of thinking. The Buddha taught

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that cravings and desires keep usstuck and unhappy. To liberate your-self from unhappiness, letting go isnecessary. The first step is to look atwhy dieting has been so important toyou. In the case of weight loss, the de-sire to shed more and more poundsoften comes from wanting to lookgood, to obtain a romantic partner, tobe in control, to achieve perfection, orto raise your self-esteem. When youhave a specific desire, you begin tocling to it and adopt an “I must haveit” attitude: “I want a better body, it’sthe only way to feel good about my-self.” But clinging to such a desirecauses unhappiness. There is nothingwrong with wanting to be more phys-ically fit. The issue is clinging and be-ing unhappy if you don’t get it. Maybeyou’ve even said, “If I lose tenpounds, then I will be happy.”

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Eating mindfully does not advoc-ate that you eat whatever you wantwhenever you want. This wouldn’t bemindful. Instead, it is achieving bal-ance and equilibrium among the fourmindful eating foundations—mind-fulness of mind, body, thoughts, andfeelings. If you overeat, your bodyand mind will not be happy. Feelingtoo full can be as uncomfortable asbeing too hungry. When you arestuffed with food, your body feelssluggish and/or bloated. It may makeyou feel guilty. Tricia described over-eating as feeling like “an overfilledburrito.” She felt that her sides would“spill out,” and it was very difficult forher to move her body around whenshe was too full.

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Skill Builder: Commit to a Mind-ful Eating Contract

Adopting a mindful eating ap-proach is a choice and a commitment.It requires a conscious, thoughtful de-cision. The following contract out-lines the basic principles of mindfuleating. If you are willing to eat mind-fully and are ready to fully reject diet-ing, you can begin by learning the insand outs of the basic philosophy thatunderlies mindful eating.

Start by reading the contract be-low. Make a written copy of it. As youare writing it, personalize the lan-guage to apply to your own struggles.Sign it to acknowledge that you havemade an informed and thoughtful de-cision. Hang up the contract in yourkitchen or dining room, or put itwhere you will see it every day, so you

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can read it often. As time goes by, youcan change or rewrite it as needed.

MINDFUL EATING CONTRACT

I agree to eat mindfully. I will eatwith diligent thought from this pointforward.

I agree to change my attitude towardeating completely, on a full-timebasis. I understand that diets don’twork.

I agree to think about what I eat mo-ment to moment.

I agree to consider each bite on mul-tiple levels by taking into account thetaste, texture, quality, bodily reac-tion, and sensations I experiencewhen I eat.

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I agree to eliminate my diet mental-ity. I will do this by rejecting dietingadvice and books, and by becomingnonjudgmental of myself.

I agree to be nonjudgmental of otherpeople’s eating habits, weight, andbody shape.

I agree to have compassion formyself.

I agree to be mindful of my speech. Iwill eliminate terms like “restricted”or “forbidden” from my vocabulary,and I will start using words like“healthy,” “natural,” “organic,” and“energizing” both in my thoughts andmy conversations.

I agree that being healthy and livingmindfully is my number one goal.

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I agree to accept myself and my bodyas they are.

I agree to be aware of the unique eat-ing challenges I face.

I agree to accept how uncomfortable,scary, and wrong it feels to let go ofdieting.

Signature: ___________

Skill Builder: Letting Go ofDieting

Try letting go with a symbolic act.Melanie, for example, wrote a letterto herself describing her unrealistic,destructive dieting schemes and herdesire to revamp her body. She tookthe letter, folded it into the shape of aboat, walked to the lake, put it intothe water, and pushed it. She watched

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it sail away. Later, during the inevit-able moments when she was temptedto fall back into mindless dieting, sheimagined shoving off her little boat.She remembered her hand pushing itoff.

Create your own symbolic act torecall during the moments that chal-lenge your ability to let go of your de-sire to diet. Throw away your dietbooks, give away your diet food, put apiece of tape over the numbers onyour scale—whatever it takes.

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#15 Six SensePerceptions

Angie was a participant in one of

my mindful eating workshops. Shetold a story about one of her mostmindful eating experiences. Last year,she went to a wedding in India. Angiedidn’t know the language. So whenshe ordered food, what showed up onher plate was always a bit of a sur-prise. While it was a challenge, notknowing exactly what she was eatingwas refreshing. She noticed how com-placent she had become about eating.Eating the same peanut butter andjelly sandwich for lunch and pasta fordinner over and over again had made

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her taste buds dull. She ate thosefoods in a rote and mindless way. Buteating spicy curry, on the other hand,jump-started her taste buds. Notknowing what she was eating forcedher to start asking herself questionslike “What kind of spice isthis—paprika or cumin?” “Do I like itor not?” Stepping out of her normalroutine forced her to look at the act ofeating with fresh eyes.

Those who practice mindful med-itation believe we have six senses, notfive. In addition to the obvious fivesenses (sight, hearing, smell, taste,and touch), mindfulness gurus be-lieve that the most important sensoryorgan is the mind. Your mind is crit-ical for helping you understand, de-scribe, and interpret what you sense.Your “sixth sense,” or mind, is alertedby all your senses tightly woven

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together, and it interprets what ishappening. For this reason, using asmany of your senses as possible helpsyour mind to grasp the whole of anexperience.

Skill Builder: Sensory Meals

Dine at an ethnic restaurant orprepare a recipe from a culture otherthan your own. This will show youhow to look beyond the obvious andfamiliar to see what you might notnormally notice. If you cook the meal,choose a recipe with exotic spices.Smell them and savor the experience.Cooking a new recipe helps you tobreak out of your routine. Remember,change is good.

If you choose to dine out, pick arestaurant that will stretch yoursenses. For example, Ethiopian

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cooking may encourage you to breakout of your typical eating habits. In-stead of using utensils, food isscooped up with injera, a flat breadshaped rather like a pancake. Usingyour fingers to carry food to yourmouth creates a unique tactile experi-ence unlike any other. Also, in someAsian cultures, it is the norm toloudly slurp soup. Although eatingthis noisily is taboo in American cul-ture, slurping does add another di-mension to experiencing what you areeating.

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#16 Using Your Sense ofSmell

Imagine for a moment the smell of

fresh-baked bread. Now bring tomind the smell of sweet onions andsausage grilling. Paying attention toaromas is a wonderful way to improvemindfulness. Your olfactory system isdirectly connected to your brain. Un-like other sensations, smells traveldirectly to your brain and are re-gistered immediately, without havingto be interpreted. For that reason,odors can awaken your mind quicklyand directly.

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For example, when you walk intoa library or a doctor’s office, you im-mediately know where you are by thedistinct odor alone. The smell can beso familiar that you may be floodedwith feelings and memories attachedto that smell, such as a kid’s fear ofvisiting the dentist. These smells in-stantly move you into the moment.

You don’t even have to realize thatyou’ve perceived a scent for it to havean effect on your mood. For example,a client told me a story about having astrong negative reaction to rose-scen-ted perfume. She’d automatically be-come irritated when smelling it.Growing up, she had spent a lot oftime alone in her room to avoid herfamily’s fighting. Whenever she es-caped to her room, she locked thedoor and opened the window. Therewas a magnificent rosebush directly

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underneath her bedroom window, butthe wonderful scent could not maskthe sound of her parents yelling ateach other. And in later years,without her being aware, that scentwould trigger her feelings of annoy-ance. Undoubtedly, aromas shift ourmood.

What smells good to you? Whatfood smells turn your stomach? Doyou want to eat something just be-cause it smells good, even if it doesn’tlook good? There are some enticingsmells, like the heavily aroma ofcookies baking. On the other hand,nothing can make you ill faster than awhiff of spoiled milk.

In a recent study, people were giv-en soup and asked to eat until theywere comfortably full (Ramaekers etal. 2011). The researchers pumped

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out either a low or high level of to-mato soup smell while the women inthe study ate it. They released thearoma for either 3 or 18 seconds. Theresearchers found that people ate 9percent less soup when they smelledit for a longer time and when thearoma was more intense. In theory,smell aids in the enjoyment of the ex-perience of eating, and therefore youare likely to eat less.

Skill Builder: Wake Up andSmell the Coffee

Before you eat breakfast in themorning, take a moment to wake upyour mind. Think for a moment aboutthe saying, “Wake up and smell thecoffee.” If you don’t drink coffee, youcan do the same with herbal tea. Sitdown. Place a cup of steaming coffee

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in a mug. Allow the hot vapors to seepup into your nostrils from a safe dis-tance. Inhale deeply. Just the aromaof coffee is very invigorating. It canhelp shift your mind into the presentmoment before you take your firstbite of breakfast.

Skill Builder: Breathe in theAroma

Ask yourself, “How much doesfood impact the way I eat?” Does apleasant scent lead to impulsivelybuying a sweet? Or maybe you don’teven really think about how yourmeal smells. Before you take a bite, besure to take a quick but deep whiff ofit. It can take one second or less. Askyourself, “How does this scent impactthe way I am about to take this firstbite?”

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Skill Builder: Know Your NoseMeditation

Wherever you are walking, bemindful of smells. When outside, no-tice the odors of the air, trees, andplants. Take note of the scents whenyou enter a room, the fragrancespeople wear, the odors carried byclothes. Pay special attention to youremotional reactions to food smells.Think about how quickly odors canalter your mood and change what ispassing through your mind. Find outwhich scents elevate your mood andwhich bring you down. Take a mo-ment to stop and smell the roses,literally.

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#17 Minding Your Body

Water and words: easy to pour, im-possible to recover.

—Zen proverb

Unfortunately, it is more common

for women to be critical of and/orloathe their bodies than to love them.If you eavesdropped on a group ofwomen at lunch, you would be likelyto hear some of them lamenting thefat content of their food or scoldingthemselves for what they are eating.According to some studies, approxim-ately 80 percent of women in Americareport being unhappy with their

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appearance (Costin 1999). Althoughwomen still worry more about theirbodies, men definitely do too. In fact,the number of men who struggle withbody image and healthy eating isgrowing (Tantleff-Dunn, Barnes, andLarose 2011). It is becoming a morecommon experience for men to feelbad about their bodies, binge eat, oruse unhealthy means to control theirweight. Thus, eating struggles can af-fect you whether you are male orfemale.

Mindfulness is one way you candeal with negative thoughts aboutyour body. Accepting the present mo-ment, as it is, without judgment is thepolar opposite of hateful thoughtsabout your body.

What most men and women wantis for these negative body thoughts to

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go away. Vanish! But, realistically,these thoughts will pop into yourhead whether you like it or not. Themindful way to cope is to 1) respondrather than react to these thoughts,and 2) actively work on self-accept-ance. A negative reaction to a thoughtlike “I’m so fat” happens when you al-low it to spiral into other things youdon’t like about yourself—“I hate mybutt, “No one will ever find me at-tractive,” “I can’t stand how I look,” etcetera. In other words, you can feedthe thoughts like throwing fuel on aflame. Or you can let the thoughtsjust burn out on their own. When youdon’t buy in to them with more nit-picking at yourself, sometimes thesethoughts lessen and even fade away.

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Skill Builder: Overcoming Neg-ative Body Thoughts

Stop letting your harsh inner criticget the best of you. Negative thoughtsabout your body divert your attentionaway from more important things.When you have “I hate my body”thoughts, practice respondingmindfully.

▪ Don’t judge. When a neg-ative thought pops intoyour head, like “I’m so fat,”give yourself a gentle nudgeand say in a calm and kindway, “There’s that negativethought again.” Thetemptation may be to judgethe thought by responding,“How could I thinksomething so terrible?” Al-low the thought to be what

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it is without judgment. Say,“It is what it is.”

▪ Find the source. Askyourself, “Where did thatthought come from?” Typic-ally, the thought doesn’t ar-rive out of the blue. There isoften something else that isbothering you that getstranslated into a negativethought about your body.For example, although itseems like quite a stretch, astressful day at work canevolve into worry aboutyour thighs.

▪ Actively let the thoughtgo. Imagine that negativethought sitting on a cloud,and let that cloud float by

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you. Your job is to let it goby without trying to reachout, grab the thought, ana-lyze it, wrestle with it, orthe like. See it. Let it pass.

▪ Channel positivethoughts. Intentionallyplace your attention tomore affirming thoughts.Notice that they may not bepositive thoughts, such as “Ilike my body.” Sometimesthis is too great of a stretch.Work on self-acceptancestatements like “I accept mybody as it is,” “My body ishealthy,” “I appreciate whatmy body does for me.” Fo-cus on neutrality, beingnonjudgmental, and, ulti-mately, compassion toward

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yourself and your struggleswith your body.

Skill Builder: Reshape Your Eat-ing Culture

Start to become a more mindfulconsumer of the media. Be consciousof the kinds of magazines you buy.Are they filled with skinny modelswho make you unhappy with yourbody? Tune in to your reaction to adsthat push the message that you mustbe superthin instead of healthy or inthe natural body that you have. Sur-round yourself with more mindfulmessages. Tear out ads that respectbody diversity and hang them on yourmirror or refrigerator. There are allkinds of body types—tall, short, thin,curvy, athletic, and so on.

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#18 Minding the “JustNoticeable Difference”

In psychophysics, there is a principle

called Weber’s Law of the JustNoticeable Difference (JND). Basic-ally, it is the minimum amount bywhich something must be changed inorder to produce a noticeable vari-ation in sensory experience. For ex-ample, you would notice if you added2 pounds to 10 but likely would not if2 pounds were added to 100. Thegreater the stimulus, the greater thechange necessary to notice a changein it. So you may notice turning up aradio just a little in a quiet room; butit would take a lot to perceive the

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same volume change at a concert.Marketers often use this principle.They change packaging just barelyenough for the consumer to notice itand be interested.

The same thing happens withfood. Sometimes it takes a lot of foodto make a JND in your stomach. Thismay be why you keep picking at food.It’s unlikely that a bite or two is reallyperceived. Instead, it takes a largeamount to fill up your stomach.

Skill Builder: How to Stop Graz-ing and Picking at Food

Use Weber’s Law of JND to helpyou stop picking and grazing on food.As you pick up your fork or reach foranother bite, consider whether pick-ing up this one bit of food will beenough for your stomach to notice it

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or if you will need to keep eating for itto make any perceivable difference.This is often why people tend to keepeating until they are too full. Theycontinue to pick at food, yet it is notperceived in the stomach.

Determine your average JND. Foryour stomach to perceive food, howmany bites would it take for it tomake a just noticeable difference: 2bites? 20 bites? When you find your-self picking on food, count how manytimes you take an additional bite. Doyou want to take 10 more bites tomake it noticeable? Or is it better toskip a bite that won’t really beperceived?

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PART II

MINDFULNESS OF

THE BODY

Your body is precious. It is yourvehicle for awakening. Treat it withcare … To keep the body in goodhealth is a duty … otherwise we shallnot be able to keep our mind strongand clear.

—Buddha

#19 Meditation:Studying Your Body’s

Cues Mindfully

In this section, you are going to

learn a brief meditation exercise. Ifyou’ve ever thought, “Meditation isnot for me” or “It’s too New Age-y,”think again. Meditation is just a par-ticular way of tuning in to what ishappening in your mind and body.It’s not something strange or mystic-al. This type of introspection is theperfect activity for helping you assesswhether you are really hungry or not.

Meditation is a way of stepping in-side yourself. It’s like taking a

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flashlight inside your mind to illu-minate your inner world. When youmeditate, you calm your body andquiet your mind. You start to “hear”the chatter in your mind. In the caseof eating, your thoughts play an im-portant role in whether you eat ornot. Meditating can help you tune into these thoughts.

For instance, let’s imagine thatyou suddenly have a food craving.Your mind thinks, “I want chocolateand I have to have it right now.” Anact of meditation could be as simpleas turning inward and asking, “Wheredid that come from?” You may wantto locate from where in your body thecraving is coming. Is it arising out of ahungry belly? Or is coming from yourbrain? Maybe the craving is what youthink you need to take away boredom.

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Meditation connects your mindand body so that they form a unifiedwhole. Creating wholeness betweenyour body and mind is extremely im-portant if you are struggling with foodissues. In order to recognize the sig-nals your body sends to the brain, thecommunication between yourthoughts and your body needs to flowfreely, without obstruction. Yourbody and mind work together to de-cide if you are hungry.

Skill Builder: Reconnecting toYour Body

Here is an exercise to promotetranquility. It is one of the many med-itation techniques for finding sooth-ing, calming inner peace and insight.Use it when you are having difficultymaking healthy, mindful food

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choices, or when you are feeling over-whelmed emotionally. Follow thesesimple steps:

1. Find a position that allowsyou to be comfortable butalert. Generally this meanssitting or lying down; makesure to allow your body tofeel naturally at ease. Takeseveral deep breaths and re-lax. Don’t forget to keepbreathing deeplythroughout this exercise.

2. Begin by feeling the placeson your body that are incontact with other things.For example, feeling thecushion you’re sitting on,your feet resting on thefloor, your clothes touchingyour skin. Be aware of your

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posture. Move slowlythrough each region of yourentire body, and take noteof the places where there istension.

3. Direct your attention toyour feet. First tense andthen relax the muscles ofyour feet and toes, and be-come aware of how theyfeel.

4. Now direct your awarenessto move slowly up your legs,past your knees, to yourthighs. First tense and thenrelax the muscles of yourlegs and thighs.

5. Tense and then relax yourbutt and your hips.

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6. Tense and then relax yourabdominal muscles.

7. Tense and relax your chestand shoulders.

8. Tense and relax the musclesof your arms.

9. Tense and relax your handsand all of your fingers,down to your fingertips.

10. Tense and relax the musclesof your face. Notice the feel-ing of your tongue insideyour mouth, the weight ofyour eyelids, the heavinessof your neck. Relax yourforehead by tensing and let-ting go. Do the same foryour scalp.

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If you need assistance, buy aprogressive muscle-relaxation record-ing to walk you through the process ofrelaxation.

When you have completed this ex-ercise and you are completely relaxed,you will be in touch with what yourbody feels like at rest. This is valuableinformation. You can use it to helpcounter the anxious nervousness thatmay tempt you to engage in mindlesseating.

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#20 Releasing BodyTension with Mindful

Breathing

Tom learned an important mindful-

ness skill that involved something hedid all the time with no effort whatso-ever: breathing. In this section, youwill take a brief moment to attend tothe way you inhale and exhale. Let’stry it right now. Turn your attentionto your breathing without trying tochange it. Are you breathing fast?Slow? Deep? Shallow? What did younotice? Perhaps you stopped thinkingabout whatever else that was on yourmind and turned your attention only

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to your chest moving up and downand the air traveling in and out ofyour nose.

Why is breathing so important,particularly to changing the way youeat? Deep breathing increases theamount of oxygen your brain andbloodstream receive. This leads toclearer thinking and a stronger con-nection to your body, which helps youto make better decisions about whatto eat. Also, when you slow down, youdon’t just engage in autopilot behavi-or, you think through your next ac-tion. Finally, many people panic alittle when they have to make food de-cisions. This panic creates the fight-or-flight response in our bodies. Calmdown a little with a deep breath ortwo before making a decision aboutwhat to eat.

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Breathing is the very foundationof living. Keep in mind this greatquote by Jon Kabat-Zinn: “Until youstop breathing, there is more rightwith you than wrong.”

Skill Builder: Take a Breather

This exercise presents a techniquefor instantly reconnecting your mindto your body. It is easy to do and im-mediately starts a calming response.Try doing this several times a day.Use this exercise to take a three-minute mini-vacation from yourworries.

1. Find a comfortable posture.Bring your awareness toyour body. Pay attention tohow all the parts of yourbody feel.

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2. Relax; feel your body get-ting lighter.

3. Devote your attention toyour breathing. Breathefrom deep inside yourstomach. Put your hands onyour stomach and makesure your belly pushes outwhen you inhale and pullsin when you exhale. This iscalled “belly breathing.”Imagine that you have aballoon inside your stom-ach. When you breathe in,imagine the balloon ex-panding and pushing yourstomach out.

4. Note the rhythm of yourbreathing, its coming andgoing. Pay attention to the

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feeling of air movingthrough your nose. Stayaware. Observe.

5. Follow your breathing,don’t try to alter it.

6. If you are having difficultykeeping your mind fromwandering, count each timeyou breathe out, one num-ber for each breath. Whenyou reach ten, start over orreverse the count. Feel thedifference between count-ing on the in breaths andthe out breaths. Alternat-ively, don’t count and in-stead pay attention to themuscles that produce thebreath.

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7. While you are doing this ex-ercise, in addition to relax-ing your body, you are pre-vented from thinking aboutanything that might betroubling you during thetime you take to do it.

Pay attention to the way youbreathe in different situations, suchas when you are walking, running,having sex, relieved, happy, sad, ortired.

Skill Builder: Straws andBubbles

If you have difficulty doing theprevious breathing exercise, get out adrinking straw. Inhale through yourmouth and exhale through the straw.Notice the sensations as you blow out.

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You can also blow a few breathsquickly through the straw. When youare done with the exercise, you canalso use this straw to chew on. Noticewhether this alleviates the need tomunch on food. Do you find thechewing motion soothing? How longdo you feel like chewing?

You can also chew gum. Blowbubbles with the gum. Feel yourselfexhale into the gum to make it ex-pand. Listen to it snap as it pops. Thiscan help alter your breathing patternas well. Notice your breathing as youblow these bubbles.

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#21 Moving Your BodyMindfully

Be mindful of how your body

moves. Eating is the essential elementfor making your body go. It is likeadding gas to your car. In part, howwell your body functions and movesdepends on your food intake. Are youfueling up? Or are you running onempty? Do you fill up on premiumnutritious food—or low-grade junkfood? Are you consuming enoughprotein to power your movements?Or perhaps you are overeating?Maybe you feel the amount you areeating is weighing you down andmaking it difficult to move.

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Investigating what’s happening inyour body requires conscious thoughtand your focused attention. Have youever broken your leg or some otherbody part? Prior to your accident, it islikely that you didn’t really noticehow your legs moved, since they wereworking smoothly. After you breakyour leg, this suddenly changes. Youare likely to become very appreciativeof how your legs used to work—carry-ing you up and down stairs and fromone end of the room to the other. Thesame when you have a cold. You sud-denly notice your ability to taste andsmell has dissipated. As you recover,you are so glad when everything isworking in proper order again. Startto tune in to your body.

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Skill Builder: Be Aware of Mov-ing Mindfully

Conduct an observational study ofyour body and its movements. Choosea week and dedicate it to taking noteof how your body interacts with theworld. Observe your body as if youwere watching it in a film, and fromthe point of view of the main charac-ter. You don’t have to do anything outof the ordinary, just watch and ob-serve your natural movements.

▪ Notice the way you eatat meals. Do you takesmall bites or do you cramyour food into your mouth?Do you eat slowly orquickly? Do you eat onefood at a time, or do youmix foods together?

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▪ Notice the way you sit.Do you slump or cross yourlegs? Do you sit still, or doyou shift constantly? Areyou relaxed, or does yourfoot shake? How long canyour body sustain sitting inone place?

▪ Notice the way you movewhile you talk. Do youuse hand gestures? Howclose do you stand to theperson to whom you arespeaking? Do you touchothers when you talk?Where do you direct youreyes, where do you put yourhands, how loud do youtalk? What do your non-verbal expressions commu-nicate to others?

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▪ Notice the way yourbody can be assertive.Observe how it is activelyinvolved in moving aroundin the world. Focus on andbecome aware of your veryvigorous, dynamic mo-ments, such as running,throwing, yelling, playingsports, making love.

▪ Notice the way yourbody transports you. Ap-preciate the sensations ofwalking. Focus on how yourlegs move, their rhythm,pace, and stride.

▪ Notice the way yourbody relaxes. Focus onhow you stretch and move

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your arms and legs, andhow you twist your neck.

▪ Notice how you lie down.Do you lie on your stomach,roll over, shift around, or doyou stay motionless, notmoving at all?

▪ Notice the way you bal-ance. Does your body haveto work to maintain yourbalance? Be aware of theoccasions when you shiftyour balance and leanagainst something.

▪ Notice internal sensations.What do your joints andmuscles feel when theymove? When do they feel

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sore? When do they feelgood?

Skill Builder: Energizing Food

Take a moment to tune in to howfood makes your body feel. Are youeating foods that invigorate yourbody? Or are you consuming mealsthat make you feel so sluggish thatyou don’t want to move? Consider:

1. Do you eat energizingfoods? These are foods thatprovide you with enough vi-tality and stamina to work,play, and move. If this isn’twhat you eat, state whatkind of food may give youmore energy. For example,adding more protein, com-mitting to eat one fruit aday, et cetera.

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2. Do you eat foods that dragdown your movements? Ifso, state one way you maylighten up what you eat.Perhaps it is cutting downon salty food or limitinggreasy foods.

Skill Builder: MeditationMoment

Imagine putting food into yourmouth. Visualize it traveling into yourstomach, being converted to energy,and being used by your nerves to sendsignals to move your body. Thinkabout how one action, like eating, hasa ripple effect. Eating well impactsthe rest of your body’s movements.

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#22 Mindful Movement

The foot feels the foot when it feelsthe ground.

—Buddha

“I have no idea when I am hungry

and when I am full.” This is a state-ment made by many of my clients. It’sno surprise. Years of yo-yo dietingand mindless overeating interfereswith your body’s natural, internal sig-nals to put down your fork and pick itup. Is there anything you can do tochange this? Yes! Mindful movementcan provide an excellent opportunity

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to reestablish a healthy connectionwith your body.

Research confirms that it’s notjust intensive cardio workouts or run-ning that helps people to be moremindful eaters. In fact, the gentlepractice of mindful movements andyoga may really be all you need(Framson et al. 2009; McIver,McGartland, and O’Halloran 2009).You may be thinking, “But yogadoesn’t make me sweat, how could ithelp me to manage my weight and ap-petite?” When you slow down andtune in to yourself, you begin to de-velop and nurture the important con-nection between your body and mindthat has been destroyed by dieting.Ultimately, yoga helps make youmore aware of what you eat and howit feels to be full. When you befriendyour body and care for it well through

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stretching, breathing, and relaxation,you no longer treat it like the enemy.It is only through mindful awarenessof your body that you gain morepower over your appetite.

Colleagues at the Fred HutchinsonCancer Research Center in Seattle leda study that found that people whodid mindfulness-based yoga couldlose pounds and keep from gainingweight during the long term. Parti-cipants in the study lost approxim-ately five pounds. Those who were ata healthy weight and practiced yogafor four or more years had a three-pound lower weight gain during thelong term than those who didn’t doyoga. For people at a higher weight,there was an eighteen-pound differ-ence between those who practicedyoga and those who didn’t (Kristal etal. 2005). In a different study, after a

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twelve-week mindfulness-based yogatreatment program for binge eating,women experienced a healthy recon-nection to their body and to food. Thewomen reported they ate moreslowly, reduced how much they con-sumed, chose better foods, and hadmore positive feelings about theirbody. Overall, yoga appeared to helpthe women improve their physical re-lationship with their body and theway they consumed food (McIver,McGartland, and O’Halloran 2009).

For just a moment, put this bookaside and hold one arm up over yourhead. Keep it there for a minute. Payattention to what happens in yourmind as you do this. Maybe at the be-ginning your mind is saying, “This iseasy” or “I wonder why I am doingthis.” Toward the end of the minute,perhaps you are thinking, “How much

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longer?” or “I can’t do this anymore.”You may notice that your mind be-came very tuned in to where your armwas positioned in space, the gravitypulling down on your arm, and itsmovement. Put your arm down. Thepoint of this exercise is that beforeyou raised your arm, it’s likely youwere not thinking about or “feeling”your arm. Creating tension made youtune in.

Skill Builder: Mindful-EatingYoga

You don’t have to become an ex-pert at yoga to reap the benefits of be-coming a more mindful eater. Trylearning one pose. Visit www.yoga-journal.com for an overview of poses,or see the Resources section for moreyoga information. Remember that the

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purpose of this exercise is for you toreconnect with your body, not havean intensive workout. Your aim is toget to know yourself inside and out.Here are some hints to get youstarted.

▪ Adopt a mindful mind-set. Remember that thisactivity isn’t just aboutburning calories. It’s aboutdeveloping techniques thattune you in to your body.Yoga helps you to developmindfulness, good postureand muscle tone, healthfulbreathing, body confidence,wisdom, patience, discip-line, and compassion.

▪ Strike a pose. Try theyoga pose of your choice ina room without mirrors.

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Looking in mirrors canmake you self-conscious.The goal is to tune inward.Doing it perfectly doesn’tmatter.

▪ Use you senses. Takenote of every sensation, nomatter how small. This mayinclude how your hairmoves against your neck orhow your lips part. This isgreat practice for tuning into your body when you eat.

▪ Accept. Welcome inwhatever feelings come tothe surface of your mindwhen you move. It might bepositive thoughts or feelingsabout the experience, like“This feels good,” or

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negative thoughts, like“This feels uncomfortable.”

▪ Speak compassionately.Positive self-talk is part ofyoga. While in the pose, sayto yourself things like “I feelstronger and more flexible.”

▪ Push yourself. You wantyour body to feel challengedand different. But don’tpush yourself too hard oryou will become frustratedand overwhelmed. You willknow when you’ve reachedthe challenge point whenyou start to feel discomfort.This is a challenge you canadapt to eating. Nudgeyourself out of your comfortzone by ordering something

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new or leaving a bite or twoon your plate.

▪ Allow yourself to stop.Rest. Again, honoring yourbody when it is tired or saysto stop is critical to becom-ing a more mindful eater.

Skill Builder: MindfulMovement

If you don’t have any balanceproblems, and your doctor okays it,try this exercise. Stand with your feettogether. Or if that is too difficult,stand with your feet apart the widthof your hips. Put your arms at yourside. Inhale as you raise your armsover your head. Turn your palms in-ward to face each other. Now bendyour knees slowly and lower your

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body as if you are in the process ofsitting down onto a chair—thoughthere is not one under you. Exhale asyou do this, until your knees are bentat about 45 degrees. Your kneesshould be behind your toes. Tightenyour abdominal muscles. Look for-ward. Hold for several seconds. Standup and repeat several times.

You can even practice mindfulmovement right from your chair.Breathe in deeply. Put your arms toyour side. Raise them slowly aboveyour head as if you are guiding thesun high into the sky. Hold for as longas you can.

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#23 AcknowledgingConsequences Mindfully

The greatest wealth is health.

—Virgil

Heartburn. Gas. Upset stomach.

These are some effects that mindlesseating can have on your body. Yetyour brain works really hard to putthat connection out of your mind. Youmight deny that there is a problem oravoid seeing these issues as side ef-fects of something bigger. You mayeven chalk up the detrimental effectsof mindless eating to other factors inyour life, such as stress. Perhaps you

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may even think to yourself, “MaybeI’ll skip on to the next tip because Idon’t want to think about this.” If thisis your thought, try to keep your mindfocused on this issue for the next fewminutes.

Here is what we know: it’s toughto keep the balance between eatingtoo much and too little. When youover- or undereat, your body feels un-comfortable, and this discomfort candevelop into bigger problems. Yourbody gives you feedback in the formof physical symptoms. Don’t ignorethese physical reactions. Learning tosee them as useful information canhelp you to prevent them in the fu-ture. Being conscious of the con-sequences of poor eating habits willnaturally lead to more-attentiveeating.

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People need a base minimum ofcalories, or fuel, to keep the bodyfrom going into starvation mode. (Seewww.eatright.org to find out specific-ally how much your body needs torun at its optimal level.) Thesebaseline calories help make your ba-sic bodily functions work: blinking,breathing, sleeping, circulating blood,maintaining a heartbeat. This doesn’tinclude activities like walking, sittingup, thinking, and so forth, which re-quire many more calories. When youlack essential minerals and vitamins,your body struggles to maintain itsequilibrium. What’s tricky is that youcan’t see the damage with your eyes.I’ve seen healthy-looking, thin wo-men walk into my office whose bloodwork showed a completely differentpicture.

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Overeating is just as problematic.Jessica ignored the health implica-tions of mindless chaotic eating untilshe got the results of a routine physic-al. The doctor expressed concernabout her high blood pressure andskyrocketing cholesterol. She waspre-diabetic. Jessica was well awareof her labored breathing when she ex-erted herself physically, but sheblamed it on factors other than pooreating habits. After hearing her physi-cian’s alarm, it was hard to continueignoring the warning signs. Jessica fi-nally embraced her health concerns.She came to understand that if sheavoided dealing with her health im-mediately, her problems wouldworsen.

The key to being more aware ofhow your body is doing is to use themindfulness skills of being

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nonjudgmental, compassionate, andaccepting. Avoid judging yourselfharshly and just be mindful of theoutcome. Note the difference betweenjudging and predicting the physicalconsequences: “I ate this whole bowlof chips! How could I be so stupid?”versus “If I binge on all of this junkfood, the consequence is that my cho-lesterol will continue to go up, and Iwill feel bad about doing it.” Or “I’mso weak” versus “Eating too muchdiet food is hard on my body.”

Skill Builder: Mindfulness ofYour Body

Take a step back, observe, and be-come aware of the sensations withinyour body. Become acquainted withthe outcome of mindful and mindlesseating. Take out a piece of paper or

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your laptop and make two columns.Record how your body feels when youeat mindfully and when you eatmindlessly. Try not to judge, just ob-serve. For example:

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#24 Letting Go of YourFormer and/or Future

Body

Marie kept a picture of herself from

high school on the refrigerator.Whenever she glanced at the picture,it upset her. She automaticallythought, “I used to be thin and didn’teven know it. I also didn’t worryabout what I ate back them.” It’s hardto remember that our bodies are con-stantly changing. We often want tocling to a certain body we’ve had at aparticular moment in time. However,Marie admits remembering that shedid not feel happy with herself at the

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time the photo was taken. Now shewishes she would have appreciatedhow she looked in that moment in thesnapshot.

Longing for the way you lookedwhen you were in high school, col-lege, or before you had a baby can bereally upsetting. Grieving over thedisappearance of your “former” bodycan suck away a lot of your emotionalenergy. Mindfulness embraceschange and discourages clinging tothe past. Buddha reminded us that“everything changes, nothing remainsunchanged.”

Dieters spend a lot of time fantas-izing about their “future” bodies. Forexample, Elaine began dieting to loseweight for her wedding. She imaginedherself gliding down the aisle in aslimmer body. Three weeks before

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her wedding, she panicked becauseshe had not made it to her goalweight. She spent more time thinkingabout how she “should” look in herwedding dress than she did about get-ting married. Her unhappy thoughtsabout her weight distracted from thejoy of getting married.

The point: Think about your bodyright now. Appreciate it. Your mindmay want to drag you into the past todwell on how you used to look. Oryour thoughts may wish to push youinto the future in anticipation of howyou may look if you lost weight. In-stead, be present with your body rightnow.

Skill Builder: Accept Yourself inthe Moment

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This exercise is about choosing toaccept yourself as you are at this verymoment. It emphasizes “letting go” ofyour desire to change your body rad-ically. Read these affirmations outloud or just bring them to mind whenyou are making difficult choices aboutwhat to eat or whether to feel guiltyabout what you have eaten.

MINDFUL EATING ACCEPTANCEAFFIRMATIONS

Mind

I accept that my eating andweight concerns are creat-ing emotional distress, dis-comfort, and suffering inmy life.

I choose to accept my bodyand weight as they are atthis moment.

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Committing to accept my-self is a choice only I canmake.

Body

I accept that my genetic in-heritance strongly influ-ences my body’s shape andweight.

I accept how important it isfor me to eat mindfully inorder to live a healthy life.

Thoughts

To accept my body andweight does not mean that Iam judging them to beperfect.

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Acceptance comes fromwithin myself. I don’t seekit from the outside.

Feelings

I accept that my worth isnot reflected by my weightand shape but, rather, myworth is determined by whoI am as a whole person.

Acceptance includes reject-ing the cultural and socialmessages I receive aboutweight.

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#25 Mindfulness ofMirrors

The wise ones fashioned speech withtheir thought, sifting it as grain issifted through a sieve.

—Buddha

What’s your first reaction to look-

ing in a mirror? Do you think, “Look-ing good!”? Or do you peek into themirror and think, “Ugh!”? Maybe youwrinkle up your nose and say, “I’m sofat!” as you look at your reflection.Unfortunately, we often use mirrorsto judge ourselves. They become anevaluative weapon rather than a tool

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to simply help you see if your clothesmatch and if your hair is in place.

Monica admitted that looking inthe mirror was sometimes tough.She’d pass her reflection in a storewindow, and her eyes would instantlygo to the part of her body she dislikedjust to make sure she still hated it.Mirrors seemed to shine a spotlighton her thighs. She ignored everythingelse and focused on the part she dis-liked the most—her thighs.

Mindfulness is like looking in amirror without the commentary. Themirror then reflects only what ispresently occurring, exactly the way itis happening, without bias or distor-tion. It’s your interpretation of whatyou see that can distort and twist theimage reflected in a mirror.

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Skill Builder: Mindful Mirrors

Use the mindfulness skill of neut-ral observation to work on body ac-ceptance and improve your relation-ship to mirrors.

Stand in front of a mirror. Stay infront of the mirror as long as you can.This can be as short as a few minutesor as long as ten minutes. The point isto continue to observe the way youlook beyond your typical comfortlevel. If you feel an urge to turn away,if you feel silly or are uncomfortable,be mindful of that reaction. Observethe complex interaction of the fourfoundations of mindfulness, yourmind’s awareness of how you feel andwhat you think about your body. Un-fortunately, a bad-hair day can drawyour attention away from seeing thesparkle in your eyes or the rosy glow

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of your skin. For this exercise, startwith one aspect of your body, such asyour hands or neck, and then expandyour mindful attention to your entireimage. Use all of your observingskills.

Instead of thinking of your reflec-tion as good or bad, be neutral. Usethe mindfulness skill of describingrather than judging your appearance.State, for example, “I have brown,curly hair that reaches my shoulders;it’s light with blond streaks.” Openyour awareness to the smooth textureof your skin and the temperature ofthe different parts of your body. Feelthe roughness of your palms and no-tice the shades of color in your lips.Instead of judgmental words like“fat,” use specific descriptors like“curved,” “straight,” and “oval” to de-scribe your shape. Draw your

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attention to the scent of laundry de-tergent on your clothes and thearoma of your perfume. Noticewhether you are tempted to use neg-ative and positive adjectives like“pretty,” “ugly,” “thin,” and “fat.” Thisexercise can help you see yourself as awhole and without judgment.

If your mind starts to wander intothe past, thinking or imagining whatyou used to look like, or if it visualizesthe future and how you wish youlooked, bring yourself back on track.Close your eyes and begin again. Seewho you are in the present moment.

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#26 Getting DressedMindfully

Every day, Julie set her alarm for

five o’clock in the morning in order tobe at work by eight o’clock. On aver-age, she squandered two hours eachmorning getting dressed. This seem-ingly easy task was a daily nightmare.A snug pair of pants or an outfit thatmade her “feel fat” sent her spiralinginto a bad mood for the rest of theday and instigated mindless eating.While getting dressed, she feltashamed, frustrated, irritated, ugly,and just not good enough. Choosingclothes was even more difficult whenshe had her period. She mistook

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normal water retention for weightgain.

Do you spend a long time trying tofind an outfit that doesn’t make youlook fat? Or do you worry a lot aboutthe size on the tag? Maybe you feelgreat wearing a particular size but up-set if you have to wear the next largerone. The lack of size standardizationwreaks havoc on people. The samewoman can wear a size 10 in one pairof pants and a 12 in another.

A step for Amanda to becomemore mindful was throwing away her“skinny jeans,” the jeans that fit wellwhen she was dieting. She would tor-ture herself by getting them out of thecloset and using them to measurehow much “fatter” she had become.

The point: clothes can make orbreak your mood, just like the scale.

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Give away or throw out any items inyour closet that leave you feeling badabout your body. Then concentrate onapparel that pleases you in two cat-egories: fit and feel. Does the dress fitwell? Do you like the way a certainfabric feels against your skin? In thisway, you use clothing as a tool to helpyou to be more mindful of your body.

Skill Builder: Dressing for Emo-tional Success

Here are some ideas for becominga more mindful dresser:

▪ Choose comfortableand stylish clothing. Buysoft, comfy fabrics like cot-ton and linen, rather thanstiff, starchy materials;choose wool pants ratherthan spandex or tight jeans,

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short skirts, or hosiery.Wear clothing that feelscomfortable. Don’t buy any-thing that is tight on you.

▪ Identify one outfit thatyou look really good in.Save this outfit to wear onthe days when you arehighly vulnerable to mind-less eating or when you feeluncomfortable in yourbody.

▪ Accept weight fluctu-ations. If your clothes feeltight, remember that it maynot mean you’ve gainedweight. People experiencenormal, daily weight fluctu-ations. Water intake andweather changes can

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account for slight changesin weight too.

▪ Investigate differentclothing brands. Knowwhich designers makeclothes that fit your bodyshape naturally. Stick withthose.

▪ Choose fit, not size.Think more about how anarticle of clothing fits ratherthan its size. Remember, noone can see the label butyou.

▪ Highlight other areas.Spend more time accentuat-ing other, more-visibleparts of your body that youhave more control over,

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such as your hair with anew style, your eyes or lipswith makeup, or your neckwith jewelry; buy colorsthat work well with yourskin and eyes.

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#27 Hunger: Listening toYour Body Mindfully

Sensing whether you are hungry or

full is an essential skill for mindfuleating. But it is much easier said thandone. If you’ve dieted, it is likely thatthere have been times when you’ve ig-nored your hunger, telling yourself,“Sorry, I know I’m hungry but thediet says, ‘No snacks!’” Or the oppos-ite: when eating, your body says,“Stop! I am way too full!” but youkeep snacking anyway. Your bodymay be accustomed to getting mixedmessages. Experiencing ex-tremes—being too hungry or toofull—on a regular basis can make it

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difficult to be aware of your trueappetite.

Skill Builder: The Hunger Scale

When you are about to eatsomething, ask yourself, “Am I reallyhungry?” Label your hunger on ascale from 1 to 10: 1 being that youare very hungry, even famished, and10 being extremely full. If you aren’tsure how hungry you are—which is acommon feeling among dieters—wait.Delay for a little bit and then askyourself the same question again. Thepoint is to recognize that there aresubtle distinctions between famishedand stuffed. You can be a little bithungry (enough to be satisfied by asnack), content (neither hungry norfull), a little bit full (whereby you stillhave some room), or completely full

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(as if you ate a huge holiday meal).Assess your hunger at the beginningof the meal or snack, midwaythrough, and at the end. The EatingMindfully app can help you track yourlevels of hunger and fullness.

Skill Builder: Your Signs ofHunger

Start listening to your body.Identify the physical cues that tell youwhen you are hungry—your stomachgrumbling or you having low energy.These are more obvious signs. Some-times, however, the urge to eat canoccur more subtly, with confusing sig-nals such as being unable to concen-trate or moodiness. The signs arelikely to be very specific to you.Therefore, I can give you some hints,but the rest is up to you. The

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following text offers some guidelinesfor recognizing the differencebetween mindful physical hunger andmindless emotional hunger. You maywant to add to this list signs that arespecific to you.

MINDFUL PHYSICAL HUNGER

▪ Stomach growling

▪ Low energy

▪ Hunger grows gradually

▪ Time has passed since yourlast meal, and you typicallyeat at regular intervals

MINDLESS EMOTIONAL HUNGER

▪ Boredom, stress, or anxietytriggers a hungry feeling or

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the sense that you “need toeat”

▪ Desire to eat again, aftereating recently

▪ Food isn’t satiatingyou—you can’t seem to getenough

▪ Cravings for certain foods(chocolate, ice cream, etc.)are strong

▪ Feeling tense, like you needa release

▪ Desire to eat comessuddenly

Skill Builder: Am I Hungry?

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It sounds like an easy question.But sometimes it is hard to tell. Thereare many things that can seem liketrue hunger but, when put underscrutiny, can appear very different.What prompts you to eat? Sometimesit is not just hunger. Before you take abite, run through this checklist ofpossible reasons you may be taking abite besides satisfying a rumblingstomach. Keep a tally for one day ofyour common triggers.

______ The “See It” Ef-fect: Do youwant to eat itjust because yousee it? Eating issometimestriggered by itsmere presenceand proximity toyou.

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______ French BakeryEffect: Considerhow beautifulFrench pastriesare. Do youwant it becauseit is visually ap-pealing? In oth-er words, be-cause it “justlooks yummy”?

______ Cinnamon RollEffect: Smell is avery powerfuldeterminant ofwhether you eatsomething ornot. Your per-ception of pleas-urable eating is,in part, based on

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the aroma. Askyourself, “Doyou want it justbecause it smellsgood?”

______ Emotional Ef-fect: Do youwant to enhanceor continue aparticular emo-tion by eating.Joy? Happiness?Pleasure?

______ Dampening Ef-fect: Do youwant to tame aparticular feel-ing by eating?Soothe stress?Reduce anxiety?

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Take awayboredom?

______ Sensation Ef-fect: Sometimesyou want a par-ticular taste. Ormaybe you de-sire a creamytexture or coldtemperature.

______ “I Think It” Ef-fect: I think Ineed it, there-fore I do. Youmay be feelingthat you want orneed something.

______ Should Effect:Perhaps a

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“should” talkedyou into eatingsomething. You“should” eat anapple.

______ Mirror Effect:You eatsomething be-cause someoneelse is havingit—a friend, acolleague, afamily member.

______ Desire Effect:Is it a craving?Cravings oftenappear suddenlyand forsomethingparticular.

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______ Procrastina-tion Effect: So-metimes you eatjust to avoid do-ing somethingyou don’t wantto do, like finishhomework orpay bills.

______ Energy Effect:You may be eat-ing to get a burstof energy.

______ Routine Effect:Ask yourselfwhether you areeating now be-cause this iswhen you alwaysdo it.

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#28 How Much Do YouWeigh Psychologically?

Every morning Becky stripped

down, tip-toed onto the scale, andanxiously waited for the results. Sheweighed herself twice just to recon-firm the number. Sometimes shewould weigh herself three times aday. She described herself as a “scaleaddict.” One day Becky decided to gocold turkey and put away her scale forgood. After a scale-free month, Beckydiscovered she was much more intune with her body. With no numbersto rely on, she had to pay attention toher internal senses. Knowing how herbody felt was essential. Overall, she

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worried less about eating, calories,and numbers. More important, shelowered her anxiety level each morn-ing and gained time for herself duringthe day.

When you succumb to your scale,you turn over your sense of control tosomething outside of yourself. Whenthe scale presents you with a numberyou don’t like, you may judge yourselftoo harshly. This can jeopardize yourpsychological balance because youbecome dominated or emotionallyweighed down by your self-criticaljudgments. Rather than judging your-self, it would be more helpful to thinkabout weighing yourselfpsychologically.

So if you have a love-hate relation-ship with your scale, I highly recom-mend that you break up with your

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scale. Hide it for a while. Tuck it inthe back corner of your basement.Stop letting a piece of metal becomenot only a measure of your weight butthe measure of your worth—and astrong determinant of your mood andwell-being. Here are ten reasons whyyou may wish to seriously reconsideryour relationship with your scale:

1. If you have ever had a daywhen you were feeling greatand then you stepped onthe scale and your day waspermanently ruined, thenit’s time to realize that yourscale is taking on the role ofan abusive partner. A scalecan make or break yourmood in an instant. Stopletting the scale play headgames with you.

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2. If you really want to knowhow your weight is impact-ing your health, get a tapemeasure. What really mat-ters is your waist circumfer-ence. According to informa-tion from the National In-stitutes of Health (NIH),large waist circumference isassociated with an in-creased risk of health prob-lems, like type 2 diabetes,dyslipidemia, hypertension,and cardiovascular disease.On average, if you are amale, your waist circumfer-ence should be less than 40inches. If you are a woman,less than 35 inches, accord-ing to the NIH.

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3. Your weight alone is a poorindicator of your health.You can be very thin andunhealthy (be malnour-ished or have osteoporosisor high cholesterol, for ex-ample) or overweight andhealthy (no heart disease,good cholesterol, etc.).Don’t get lulled into believ-ing that your weight can de-termine if you are fit or not.Get a complete physical byyour doctor to determinehow healthy you are.

4. A scale doesn’t tell youabout your strength and en-durance. Can you run amile? Can you touch yourtoes? Can you walk com-fortably? These things are

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what really matter to yourlife. Not being able to dothese daily activities tellsyou a lot about the state ofyour health.

5. Use your clothing as yourguide. Your clothes helpyou to have a better percep-tual awareness of yourbody. Numbers on a scaledo not. Your scale may tellyou that you’ve lost fivepounds—but how do you“know” it? Your clotheshelp you to sense it.Without even stepping onthe scale, clothes alert youto whether you have lost orgained weight.

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6. A scale does not measureyour body fat–to-muscle ra-tio. As you become more fit,your muscle mass goes upand therefore your weightincreases. A scale is notsophisticated enough toknow the difference. There-fore, if you need to knowmore about your body, getyour body fat compositionevaluated by a personaltrainer at a sports clinic orwellness facility.

7. A scale doesn’t consideryour healthy weight range.It only gives you one num-ber. Within a day or two,your weight naturally goesup and down depending onthings like your water

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intake, salt consumption,premenstruation, and otherfactors. It is natural for yourweight to fluctuate a littlerather than stay on one ex-act number.

8. A scale cannot measureyour self-worth. So if youuse your scale for punish-ment or reinforcement, ifyou reward yourself whenthe number is down andpenalize yourself when it isup, then stop. A scaleshould not have that powerover you.

9. Not all things can be quan-tified—though we as humanbeings love to count things,to see our progress in

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numbers. Focus on the pro-cess of eating mindfullyrather than the numbers ona scale. If you are eatinghealthfully, your weight willdrop.

10. Scales are not all the same.Don’t be surprised if yourweight at home is differentthan what is recorded at thedoctor’s office. Scales aremachines. While they arerelatively on target, for theweight obsessed, even apound of difference canthrow you into an un-healthy tizzy.

For some, a scale is a helpful tool.For others, a scale warps your emo-tional relationship with your body. If

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this sounds like you, I hope this hasconvinced you to rethink your rela-tionship with your scale. Say, “Adiós,scale!”

Skill Builder: Scaling Back

If you are unable to separate fromyour scale or know you will be unableto resist weighing yourself when youfind one elsewhere, use mindfulnesstechniques when weighing yourself.Meditate, breathe, be aware of theprocess of stepping onto the scale.Follow the feelings and thoughts thatarise when you weigh yourself. Don’ttry to push your feelings away, butembrace them and try to see the in-fluence they have on your mindful ormindless eating. Remember thatweight is just the number that sayshow hard gravity has to work to keep

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you anchored to Earth. On the moon,you would weigh a lot less. It’s just anumber. Don’t let it keep you downemotionally.

Skill Builder: Think Health, NotWeight

Being healthy isn’t just about be-ing thin. There are other specificmarkers of health. A very thin personcan be just as unhealthy as someonewho is overweight and vice versa. Themarkers listed below all together givea much broader picture of your healththan numbers on a scale. Discusswith your physician how your resultscompare to what is considered nor-mal or healthy for you, and determineif additional tests may be helpful.These markers can open up the dis-cussion beyond weight. Your task is

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to work with your doctor to get theproper tests and review the results to-gether. Ask to have the followingchecked:

Blood pressure

Resting heart rate

Cholesterol level

Fasting blood glucose level

Triglyceride level

Thyroid levels

C-reactive protein level

BMI (body mass index)

Hip-to-waist ratio

Waist-to-height ratio

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Waist circumference

Stress level (high vs. low)

Amount of exercise

Intake of caffeine, alcohol,drugs, medications

Hours of sleep per night

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#29 Mindful Cravings

After eating a healthy lunch, Jeff

craved something sweet. Ice creamhad been on his mind all day, but itwasn’t part of his new diet, so hesearched the kitchen for somethingelse to eat. After a bowl of cereal, sev-eral handfuls of chips, and an apple,he finally ate a bowl of chocolate-chunk ice cream. He had tried to sat-isfy his food desire with other snacks,but he eventually ate the ice creamanyway. The cereal, chips, and appleadded many more calories than hewould have consumed if he had eatenthe ice cream alone when he becameaware of wanting it. A mindful

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approach would solve this dilemmadifferently. Jeff would have givenhimself permission to eat in a mindfulway what he really craved instead oftrying to ward it off.

Cravings are often the result ofdeprivation. Typically, you want whatyou can’t have. If you can have it, youwon’t insist on having it as much. Theidea is to give your body just enoughof what it wants. Sometimes eating asmall square of chocolate can satisfythe desire for sugar as well as an en-tire candy bar. But if you crave an en-tire candy bar, eat it joyfully andmindfully. Create balance by eatingother healthy foods later.

Mindfulness can help you loosenthe grip of cravings. If you experiencea sudden urge for pizza, take a deepbreath. Respond thoughtfully to this

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craving instead of reacting on yourfirst impulse. Get to know the patternof your cravings. Do you have an urgefor something salty and crunchy everyafternoon? Do certain environments,like passing a bakery, make you de-sire a sugar-coated doughnut? Byknowing how your cravings work, youcan take the power and urgency out ofthem. You can sometimes anticipatewhen they will arise and have a planwaiting.

Skill Builder: Mindfulness ofCravings

Here are some ways to have amindful response to cravings:

▪ Pinpoint what you usu-ally crave. If it is chocol-ate, find a way to satisfyyour craving in a mindful

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way. At work, keep a minicandy bar or a handful ofHershey’s Kisses in a draw-er to fill that craving. Orcarry food with you soyou’re not tempted. Havinga plan makes you less sus-ceptible to feeling out ofcontrol. Remember the ad-age “Whatever you resist,persists.” Approach crav-ings consciously.

▪ Respond with thehealthiest option pos-sible. For instance, if youare craving white chocolate,try dark chocolate orchocolate milk, which arehealthier and have somepositive health benefits, if

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you think it will satisfy thiscraving.

▪ Do some detectivework. Ask yourself whatyour cravings suggest aboutyour eating. Are your fooddesires an indication thatyou are too restrictive withyour food? Do your cravingssuggest that you are seekingcomfort? Discover whatyour cravings mean, andfind healthy ways to satisfythem. Ask yourself the fol-lowing questions wheneveryou find yourself craving aparticular food (and see ifthe sample reply applies toyou): How will satisfyingmy craving affect mymind? (I can be more

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present and focus on whatI’m doing if I take care ofthis craving.) How will sat-isfying my craving affectmy body? (It will feel goodon my lips.) How will satis-fying my craving affect mymood? (It will make me feelpleasure and some guilt.)How will satisfying mycraving affect my thoughtsabout myself? (I will thinkthat I am someone whotakes care of myself.)

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#30 Walking or Running“The Middle Way”

When was the last time you exer-

cised? Was it just yesterday, lastweek, a long time ago? Mindless eat-ers often wrestle with maintaining ahealthy, moderate amount of exerciseand movement in their life. They of-ten fall into two differentcamps—those who exercise a lot orthose who avoid it completely. Thegoal is to find a middle groundbetween these two extremes. Buddhanotes that extreme tendencies occurwhen you are having difficulty walk-ing “The Middle Way,” or findingyour balance between two extremes.

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Mindful living is a pragmatic, flexibleapproach to finding what works foryou. It is not just about ending un-healthy habits but also about findingother positive, physical activities.Identifying what will work for yourealistically is essential to exercisingmindfully.

Kristen and Alex are examples ofpeople in these two camps. Kristenknew her exercise habits had grownout of control when she was unable toskip her workout even for one day. Itwas always her highest priority des-pite other important events in herlife. Exercising dominated her lifeand schedule.

Alex, on the other hand, alwayshad good intentions to exercise, butshe never seemed to have time. Whenshe received her monthly bill from

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the gym, she hid it under a stack ofpapers to smother her guilt. She hadthe same reaction when she examinedher body in the mirror. When she sawher protruding stomach and too-tightclothes, she was mortified. Herglances in the mirror lasted only longenough to check that her clothingmatched. She posted a photo of her-self as a teenager on her refrigeratorto motivate herself to lose weight, butthe picture only increased her awfulfeelings about her body. She subcon-sciously trained her eyes to avoidlooking at the photo.

Alex had to be honest and speakcompassionately to herself about thisproblem. The first step was to stopavoiding her bills. Then she had toface her feelings of guilt and just ter-minate her membership. Gradually,she began doing physical activities

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that were more compatible with herlifestyle. For example, she had beentaking a streetcar and a bus to get towork. Instead, she began walking tothe bus rather than riding on thestreetcar. That way she got a goodwalk twice a day. While walking, shefocused on her body’s movementsand all the sensations of walking. Itfelt good and doable—and it fit intoher schedule and didn’t cost a dime.

Skill Builder: Acknowledge Ex-ercise Avoidance

If, when you hear the word “exer-cise,” you say to yourself, “Ugh!” trythinking about it as “movement.”Identify what kind of movement isrealistic for your life. Maybe it iswalking, running, dancing, or juststretching. Ask yourself right now

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what kind of movement you like to doinstead of what you think you shoulddo. If you don’t know, just start ob-serving what kind of action feels goodto you. Is it a brisk walk that createssweat or just an easy walk to loosenup your muscles?

Start small and work your way up.Focus on achievable exercise, ormovement, goals. Once you reachyour first goal, bump it up onlyslightly. “Slightly” is the key word. In-crease your exercise only after you’vefully mastered your first goal. Themost common mistake is to expecttoo much at once. Failing at an un-realistic, unachievable goal willcripple your motivation. Setting andreaching goals is the best way tomaintain an exercise regimen andgain a sense of accomplishment.

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Adding more movement in yourdaily routine is a natural, easy way toincrease exercise. Small, mindfulchanges, like parking at the far end ofthe parking lot so you will be forcedto walk farther, taking the stairs in-stead of the elevator, stretchinghourly at your desk, or taking a babyfor a walk in a stroller, can make a bigdifference in the long run.

If you become bored, distracted,or unhappy with your movements, beaware of the feelings that arise whenyou think about exercise. Acknow-ledging these feelings can help you toidentify what you need to changeabout your exercise routines. If youare bored, add some excitement bytaking a salsa class or exercising to aworkout DVD. If high-impact exerciselike running makes you too tired, trya low-impact exercise like stretching.

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Finally, know that not all exerciseis healthy. Doing it excessively canturn a healthy behavior into a harm-ful one. Do a movement study onyourself. This self-study will focus ondiscovering your workout pattern.What prompts you to work out? Is it afeeling? A routine? To be healthy? Formuscle development? What functiondoes working out serve? If your bodysays, “Stop!” do you ignore the warn-ing? Your body sends your mind vitalinformation for making decisions,and you should heed any cues thatsignal a problem, such as pain, over-exertion, or obsession. Athletes areparticularly vulnerable to overwork-ing their bodies. Many believe thatweight loss enhances performance.Although it may slightly maximizeperformance, that advantage will notlast if you are not consuming an

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adequate amount of food. Foodfosters power, strength, and mentalconcentration. Consult a professionalabout your concerns to maximizeyour health and enhance your athleticperformance.

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#31 Should You CleanYour Plate?

Wouldn’t it be nice to eat like a kid

again? We can learn many mindfullessons from the way small kids eat. Ifyou’ve cared for small children, youknow that healthy babies generallydon’t overeat. Babies cry to alert oth-ers when they need to be fed. Infantscannot be forced to nurse or to finisha bottle when they have had enough.This suggests that we are born withbiological sensors that dictate howmuch we should eat, and that over-eating is, in part, a learned behavior.In other words, we start out with theinstinctive ability to eat mindfully

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and, somewhere along the way, thischanges. Wouldn’t it be nice to re-develop those natural instincts?

One way overeating and undereat-ing may be learned is at the familydinner table. Although parents aremuch more mindful these days aboutthe harm they can do in forcing theirkids to eat, it’s tough when you don’twant to waste any food or you havemade a special meal. Many of my cli-ents talk about being a member of theClean Plate Club growing up. Theirparents sometimes forced them tofinish all the food on their plates. Orthey applied guilt by saying thingslike “Kids in Africa would love to havethose peas.” This push to finish ratherthan listening to the body’s fullnesscue sets up a lifelong pattern of estim-ating how much to eat by how much

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is set in front of you instead of bywhen the body is satisfied.

If you always eat what is put infront of you, you are likely to be introuble. Restaurant portions are outof control and completely out of syncwith mindful eating. Supersized, gar-gantuan portions encourage mindlesseating.

Susan’s first step to becoming amore mindful eater was to interruptold habits. This included being moremindful of how much she orderedand ate at restaurants. She went outto dinner with her husband severalnights a week. Instead of consumingeverything on her plate, she noticedthat she felt full after eating abouttwo-thirds of the portion. She knewthis was her logical stopping point.But just saying stop wasn’t

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enough—she also had the waiterquickly take it away. This interruptedthe habit. If she didn’t have the plateremoved from the table, she wouldcontinue to pick at the remainingfood. Susan noticed that when she dideat everything on her plate, she be-came too full, which was the signalthat she had not eaten mindfully.

Skill Builder: Mindfully CleanYour Plate

Learn some ways to have a mind-ful relationship with the food on yourplate:

▪ Experiment with por-tion sizes. Try eating dif-ferent amounts of differentfoods until you discoverwhat amount seems to leave

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you feeling neither too fullnor too hungry.

▪ Don’t finish your meal.If you struggle with break-ing the habit of cleaningyour plate, leave some food,even if it is just one bite.

▪ Take lessons from beinga kid. Use your fingers.Play with your food. Have asmall snack during the dayto help regulate yourhunger.

▪ Examine how you finisha meal. Consider for a mo-ment whether you use in-ternal or external cues tosignal when you’re doneeating. External cues are

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things like the waiter takesaway your plate, the lunchhour is over, the bag of pop-corn is empty. Internal cuesare things like you feel full,you think about the portionsize, you feel thirsty. Listento internal cues to knowwhen to stop.

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#32 Fine-Tuning YourPalate

“I just love food.” This statement is

often made by overeaters to explainwhy mindless eating happens. On thesurface, it seems to make perfectsense. Yet we have to be careful aboutthis way of thinking. Mindful eaters, Iwould argue, enjoy food too. It’s not alack of pleasure in food that cultivateseating healthy portion sizes. So isovereating really about loving food?Or is it about loving the feeling thatfood produces? I’d argue more for thelatter.

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What would you say if I asked youto pick your favorite French fry froma restaurant? It could be from a fast-food restaurant or from a fine-diningestablishment. Or choose anothertype of food you crave. Pick only oneestablishment as your favorite. Stopfor a moment here and make your se-lection. Now think about why youchose those particular fries as yourfavorite.

Next, let’s think about how youchose your favorite and what this ex-ercise brings to mind. First, thisshows that French fries are not all thesame. There are differences in textureand taste. Some are crispier, saltier,soggier, thinner, thicker, longer,shorter, et cetera. It’s likely that youconsidered these factors, whetherconsciously or unconsciously, in mak-ing your selection. Perhaps you said

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to yourself something like “I like Xplace best because their fries are al-ways just salty and crispy enough butnot too salty.”

Fine-tuning your palate by askingyourself these kinds of questions is atask that all over- and undereatersmust undertake. People who overeatmay not be discriminating enoughabout their tastes. Undereaters needto get back in touch with the pleasur-able aspects of food. This may havefallen by the wayside if you are avoid-ing treats or eating only diet foods.Remember that it’s okay to eat thingsthat taste good but are not healthy.But really define and narrow downyour choices to what you like the verybest. If you love vanilla cake, turnyour nose up at all types that aren’tyour absolute favorite. Maybe you areafraid that eating your favorite is

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likely to spur a craving for more in-stead of less. The more you fine-tuneyour taste buds, the better. By know-ing your taste buds well, you will havea much better idea how to satisfy thecraving. This skill also helps you tonarrow down your food choices andto eliminate foods that are only me-diocre to you.

Skill Builder: Apple Experiment

Practice fine-tuning your palate.Buy six different varieties of apples.There are many different kinds, andthey range in color from yellow to redto green to pinkish. In addition to di-verse colors, they vary from sweet totart, as well as in crispness. In otherwords, an apple isn’t just an apple.

Place six paper plates in front ofyou. Cut one slice out of each apple

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and write on the bottom of the platewhich type it is. Mix up the order ofthe plates so you don’t know whichvariety is on each plate.

Take a bite. Describe it to yourself.On the paper plate, write somedescriptors: crispy, sweet, dry, juicy,et cetera. You may notice that youhave to compare this bite with anoth-er bite to even be truly aware of thetaste. You have just fine-tuned yourapple taste buds and discovered thatapple varieties taste different fromone another. What did you learnabout your own taste buds? Did youprefer sweet or tart? Did your senseof smell help you to differentiateamong them?

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PART III

MINDFULNESS OF

FEELINGS

By effort and heedfulness, disciplineand self-mastery, let the wise onemake for himself an island, which noflood can overwhelm.

—Buddha

#33 Mindfully Copingwith Emotional Eating

Feelings are like the weather, natur-

al yet uncontrollable. Similar toclouds sweeping over a sunny day,emotions change quickly. Unfortu-nately, you can’t control the weatheror your feelings. The best you can dois to forecast the conditions and pre-pare for them—take along an um-brella or a rain jacket. The same canbe said for emotional eating. Whenyou get to know your feelings well,you can predict your mood. Then youcan arm yourself with the tools youneed to cope with those feelings

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without food or any kind of mindlesseating.

Strong emotions also cloud yourawareness, making it difficult to makeobjective decisions about what to eat.In the heat of an angry moment, youmay say, “I don’t care if I eat junkfood” or “What the heck, I’ll eat itanyway,” when really you do mind.Sometimes people make feelingsworse by how they react and labelthem. Instead of just noticing howyou feel, you may find yourself cat-egorizing your emotions in the sameway you would everyday things—intothree simple categories: pleasant, un-pleasant, or neutral. Labeling a feel-ing as unpleasant can intensify it. Forexample, if you say, “This day waslousy,” your body is listening. It willrespond with the body movements toconvey that you’ve had a crummy

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day. Your mind might answer,“Crummy day equals stress eating.”

Skill Builder: Finding the Emo-tional Trigger

Meditation brings wisdom; lack ofmeditation leaves ignorance. Knowwell what leads you forward andwhat holds you back, and choose thepath that leads to wisdom.

—Buddha

If you have an episode of mindlesseating, contemplate what eventshappened right before it. Start at theincidence and mentally walk throughthe experience backward. You will belooking for an emotional trigger. Itmay be stress, loneliness, anger, etcetera. Examining the context of the

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situation leads you back to the feel-ings and thoughts that prompted thesituation. There are many factors thatcould have made you susceptible touncontrolled eating.

Where were you?

What were you doing?

What were you feeling?

What’s tricky is when the emo-tional trigger didn’t happen immedi-ately before the mindless eating. Let’ssay that yesterday your boyfriend saidsomething insensitive. You put itaside. Then it began to fester in yourmind overnight, and then the nextday something briefly flashed acrossyour mind and you suddenly felt vul-nerable. So the trigger can happen

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earlier in the day, the day before, orthe previous week.

After you walk through the incid-ent backward, walk through it againgoing forward this time. Be aware ofthe feelings that occurred after yourbout of mindless eating.

Once you have identified each be-havior that led to the incident, try toidentify the points when you mighthave taken a divergent path. Wasthere a fork in the road where youcould have taken a different direc-tion? For example, maybe you couldhave done your homework in yourbedroom instead of the kitchen toprevent mindlessly picking at foodwhen you got bored with studying.Commit the circumstances of thiscritical juncture to your memory.

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#34 Enduring DifficultMoods

Have you ever felt that one minute

you’re on top of the world and thenext you’re in a deep, dark hole thatyou can’t get out of? Let’s face it:emotions can take you on a roller-coaster ride. Whether good or bad, in-tense emotions become overwhelm-ing and often intolerable. In general,the wish is to get rid of them as soonas possible. Eating is one way tochange or adjust your emotionsquickly. It can do many things. Peopleeat food to stuff down feelings, orthey starve themselves and thus wardoff feeling anything at all. Munching

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on food soothes, diminishes, dis-tracts, and/or can intensify feelings.Eating and/or not eating can also be avehicle for releasing emotions, and toregain control over moods.

Skill Builder: Melting Feelings

Remember, feelings come and goand evolve quickly, which demands awatchful and flexible eye. Think aboutsomething that really upset you in thepast. Today, it is more than likely thatthe event doesn’t bother you at all.You might even laugh about it. Justbecause you feel an emotion doesn’tmean you have to do anything aboutit. Remember, they are just feelings,not permanent facts.

If there is a feeling (like guilt orregret over what you ate) that is both-ering you, get out an ice cube. Sit

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down and hold the ice cube in yourhand. Notice what is happening inyour mind as you hold it. At first, youmight experience pain. Your mindmight say, “This is awful” or “This istoo cold, I can’t stand this.” Stick withit if you can. Keep the feeling you arestruggling with in mind. The ice cubewill begin to melt. Continue to hold ituntil it is just a puddle of water. Thisexercise demonstrates how your feel-ings can melt too. Your emotions willtransform and melt away if you con-tinue to stick with them and wait pa-tiently until they dissipate, despitethe initial discomfort.

Skill Builder: Don’t Let YourEmotions Eat You Up

These exercises will help you copewith difficult emotions in the moment

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rather than allowing them to con-sume you.

▪ Identify the feeling. Fullawareness is always the key.Write a letter to yourself de-scribing the emotion. Ob-serve it first, then describeit.

▪ Bump it down a notch.Imagine that you canquantify the level of youremotion and adjust it, justas you can tune the dial thatsets your speaker volume. Ifyou are at ten, make a planabout what needs to happento reduce it to a six.

▪ Let your body go. If youare feeling anxious, recon-nect with your body. Feel

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your feet against the floor.Let your shoulders andneck drop. Observe how itfeels not to resist the pull ofgravity.

▪ Take a virtual massage.If you are feeling stressed,imagine giving yourself abody massage. Pictureyourself lying on your stom-ach. Imagine being mas-saged with scented oil. Inyour mind, start at the topof your head. Allow themassage to travel downyour neck, shoulders, arms,and fingers. Finish up byimagining your calves andankles and finally your feet.

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▪ If you feel sad, be sad.Don’t fight it. Rent a sadmovie, call a friend, andtalk about it. Teach yourselfthat bad feelings aren’t in-tolerable or scary. They canbe accepted.

▪ Take a good look at an-ger. Anger is a particularlydifficult emotion. It oftenoccurs secondary to aprimary emotion. Frustra-tion, hurt, or fear of lossmay be behind an angryfeeling. Admit your angerand discover what isprompting it. Take a mentalsnapshot of the moment.Step back and take thesame picture with a panor-amic lens. What else is in

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the picture? Buddha said,“Holding on to anger is likegrasping a hot coal with theintent of throwing it atsomeone else; but you arethe one who gets burned.”

▪ Welcome guilt. If you’refeeling guilty, welcome inthat feeling. Remember thatmindfulness is about beingnonjudgmental. If you seeyourself sentencing yourselfto a punishment, thinkagain. Handing out a pun-ishment will only start an-other mindless eating cycle.You gain more power by be-ing compassionate withyourself, and your compas-sion will prevent negativefeelings from arising that

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could trigger more mindlesseating.

▪ Release pressure. If youare feeling overwhelmed byemotions and, typically, youpush them down, imagineyou have a pressure valvesomewhere on your body.Turn the knob slowly. Letout a little bit of emotion ata time. Remember, you arein charge of turning thehandle.

▪ Have daily rituals. Ob-serving midday and/or end-of-the-day rituals can be ahelpful way to release emo-tions that build up. Dailyroutines have a groundingeffect and foster awareness.

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Write one page in yourjournal, sing a soothingsong, burn incense, or re-peat a prayer aloud. Try todo this at the same timeevery day. Practicing a ritu-al is similar to the feelingsyou get when you hear asong you know well. It is fa-miliar, uncomplicated, andyou can predict how muchyou will like it.

▪ Get help. If you feel as ifyou want to harm yourself,call 911. When you want toinjure yourself, this meansthat the emotions you areexperiencing are too intensefor you to contain. Find asafe place with people who

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can help you moderate andunderstand your feelings.

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#35 Mindful Metaphors:Visualizing Your Feelings

I am terrified of eating and gettingfat, because I fear blowing up like abig, red beach ball. The kind of ballthat people kick around and let floataway when they don’t feel like it’sworth rescuing out of deep water.

I felt like I was in an eating coma. Isuddenly woke up and realized howmuch I ate!

I feel skinless. Any kind of emotionfeels like it is touching my raw nerveendings. When people look at me, Ifeel naked and unprotected.

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These statements are metaphors

that my clients created to describe theexperience of mindless eating. Ametaphor is simply transformingyour experience into an image or astory. This image can help you take astep back so you can observe yourfeelings from an entirely differentperspective. Many of my clients saythey feel like they are in a trancewhen eating a food they crave. Thisdescription tells me, and them, a lotabout what they are feeling. It putsnew words to feeling out of controland numb.

Here is another example. WhenKate struggled to eat enough good,nutritious food, she created a meta-phor to describe this. She comparedher body’s chronic fatigue and slug-gishness to a car sputtering to a stop

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because it’s out of gas. She visualizedherself as a little blue Volvo, and thefood she ate as putting fuel in thetank. The busier she was, and theharder she pushed down on the ped-al, the more often she had to fill thetank with quality gas (protein, com-plex carbohydrates), not the cheapgas (diet sodas, cookies, chips). Katebecame more mindful of the way herbody moved and of its many criticalfunctions like breathing and walking.She realized that if she was not mind-ful, she would be driving down a roadthat would crash and ruin her body.

Skill Builder: Creating MindfulEating Metaphors

Create your own metaphor. If thisis difficult, imagine watching yourselfeating on a movie screen. Would you

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compare the way you eat to an anim-al, person, place, activity, or object?Once you have this image, you canbegin to transform it into a moremindful picture. So if you see yourselfhunting down food like a lion, beginto transform the metaphor. Notice Ididn’t say change it. Instead, it maybe watching the lion walking peace-fully away from the hunt. Consciouslybring this picture to mind.

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#36 Taking a MindfulBreath

If you don’t know how you feel, your

breathing will tell you. Breathing re-flects your emotions. If you areanxious, it is shallow and fast; if youare relaxed, it is slow and rhythmic.When you hold your breath, that is astrong clue that you might befrightened or anxious. When in love,your breath is “taken away.” There-fore, by paying attention to yourbreathing, you can become aware ofyour inner emotions. If you don’tknow what you are feeling, stop, payattention to your breathing, and let

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your breathing help you tune in toyour feelings.

Skill Builder: Deep BreathingBefore You Eat

For many people, eating is astressful event. If this is so for you, sitdown at the table and prepare your-self to be in a mindful state beforeyou eat.

Focus all of your attention on yourbodily sensations. Relax and makeyourself comfortable. Lean back inyour chair and be aware of the posi-tion of your body. Relax yourmuscles, close your eyes, and let yourbody unwind. Tense and release yourmuscles. Begin by taking a deepbreath. Very slowly, take a deepbreath that allows your diaphragm tomove up and down. Concentrate on

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the sound of your breath. Listen to itand feel the sensations as youbreathe. Feel yourself relax as thetension releases and leaves yourbody. Follow the journey of the air asit travels through your nose andthroat, fills up your lungs, and movesyour chest. Take just a moment toconnect with your breathing as yougear up to eat mindfully.

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#37 Mindful Eating andRelationships

Andrea noticed something very un-

usual about the way she ate. Whenshe went out to dinner with Hannah,she ate mindfully and ordered just anentrée, which filled her up. Dinnerdates with Julie, however, did not fol-low that pattern. They started withdrinks and appetizers and then pro-gressed to a meal and dessert. She leftfeeling stuffed. Meeting up withHelen was an entirely different exper-ience. Andrea ordered only salad, be-cause that’s what Helen alwaysordered.

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Who you eat with matters. It canhelp or hurt your efforts to eat mind-fully. In fact, a study in the AmericanJournal of Medicine found that a per-son’s chances of becoming obese in-crease by 57 percent if he or she has afriend who is obese (Christakis andFowler 2007). Among spouses, thelikelihood that the other spousewould become obese increased by 37percent. Be mindful of whom youdine with and how they impact theway you snack and eat meals.

Skill Builder: Minding YourFriends

You don’t have to drop friendswho eat too much, or seek out newcompanions who eat mindfully. In-stead, just begin to be more mindfulof the impact they have on you.

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Notice whether you order similardishes. Pay attention to how fast theyeat. Do you eat at the exact samerate? Unconsciously mimicking afriend’s eating behavior can lead youright into mindless eating.

Try this experiment. When youare eating with someone, try to matchhis pace. When he takes a bite, youtake a bite. Notice how this feels toyou. Does it seem fast? Slow? Then dothe opposite. When he takes a biteand chews, you wait. The point of thisexercise is to be conscious of the factthat how someone eats may or maynot match your natural tendencies.Be wary of unconsciously followinghis habits.

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#38 Heart versusHunger Cravings

Your work is to discover your worldand then with all your heart giveyourself to it.

—Buddha

Buddhist theory identifies cravings

as the root of suffering. Emotionalcravings can be more powerful, insa-tiable, and destructive than cravingsfor ice cream or chocolate. Your emo-tional desires aren’t as clear-cut or aspredictable as your desire to eat. Asyou become more mindful, you willbegin to realize exactly what your

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heart hungers for. Examples includecravings for companionship, love,power, and control. In contrast tofood, these longings are not as easilyfulfilled. Sometimes people misinter-pret their heart cravings and try tofeed their bodies when they actuallyneed to take better care of their souls.

For example, two feelings derailedJessica’s diet. When she was lonely orsad, all she could think about wascomfort foods like biscuits and gravyand pecan pie. Food had been hercompanion when she felt miserable.Yet the goodness of the dense pie andfluffy biscuits was fleeting. When shestopped eating, the loneliness cameright back, sometimes even worse.Now, instead of reaching for food ascomfort, she mindfully calls a friend,sends an e-mail, or engages in socialnetworking. It feels so good to

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connect with others that she stopsthinking about overeating and re-joices in companionship.

Skill Builder: Keep a Mindful-ness Journal

Keep track of your constantlychanging emotions and desires. Carrya small pocket journal with youwherever you go. Make it easily ac-cessible so you can reach it in the mo-ment you experience fleeting, power-ful, or intense emotions or cravings.Or buy a daily calendar that breaksdown the day by hour. Or use an appon your phone. Jot down the emo-tions you felt at particular hours. Ex-amine the calendar at the end of theday to see whether any patterns ortrends emerge. If you spend most ofyour time in front of a computer,

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create an easily accessible, securedocument file to record what happensto you emotionally when your mindwanders during the day. Wheneveryour mind says, “Gotta have___________ [chocolate, junkfood, etc.]” pause for a moment andimmediately write down how you arefeeling.

In addition to your feelings, re-cord and examine your daydreams.These can give you a good idea ofwhat you are consciously craving. Ifyou imagine a special relationship,you are likely craving love and atten-tion. If you dream about a job promo-tion, you may be longing for power,control, and intellectual stimulation.Consider what you can do to satisfyyour heart’s cravings.

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#39 Mindful HolidayFeasting

Do you look forward to traditional

holiday feasts with dread or delight?If you said dread, you aren’t alone.The stretch between fall and the be-ginning of the new year are oftentimes of celebration for everyone—ex-cept for mindless eaters. Buffets, holi-day cookies, and traditional familyfoods you get only once a year are ex-tremely challenging. Gatheringscentered exclusively around food canturn not-so-merry. Worry about gain-ing extra holiday pounds is nothing tocelebrate. Holidays often elevatefeasting to a special status, and they

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encourage mindless eating by invitingall to overeat.

Spending time with relatives dur-ing holidays is another surefire way totrigger mindless eating. Reconnectingwith family can be as stressful as it isjoyous. You might find that you getvery emotional. Conflict is more likelyto erupt. Hanging out with your fam-ily can reignite feelings of inadequacyor of being controlled or rejected, orof wanting to please. Or it may bringup intense memories of happy holi-days from the past, which can makeyou miss more-regular contact withyour family.

Skill Builder: Approaching Holi-day Meals Mindfully

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To help prevent falling into thetrap of mindless eating during large,festive meals, refer to these tips often:

▪ Plan ahead. One mindfulapproach is to offer to helpprepare meals. This willgive you greater controlover the menu.

▪ Time it wisely. Advocatefor keeping the meal at aregular mealtime. Too of-ten, we schedule holidaymeals in the afternoon,which interrupts people’sregular hunger schedule.

▪ Don’t overbake. Be sens-ible with food gifts. Stopgiving three dozen cookies.Instead, give just a few. If

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you receive several dozencookies, give some away.

▪ Snack slowly. When yousnack on holiday foods, besure to sit down. Savor.Take mindful bites. It’s aperfect time to really enjoywhat you are eat-ing—mindfully.

▪ Snack early. If the holidaymeal is to be eaten atsomeone else’s home, eat asnack before you go. Don’twait until after the footballgame or holiday parade. Ifyou do, your body will sendyou hunger cues that maybe difficult to satisfy in amindful manner.

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▪ Celebrate what’s signi-ficant. Connect yourselfwith the meaning of theholiday. For example, if it isthe Fourth of July, celebratethe liberty you have tochoose your foods.

▪ Stay present. To preventovereating, stay in touchwith the experience on amoment-to-moment basis.At the table, eat slowly andlook at everything. Smelland taste your food.Breathe in the holidayatmosphere.

▪ Pause betweenservings. After finishingyour plate, wait twentyminutes before getting a

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second helping. It takes thepart of your brain that helpsto regulate your appetiteabout twenty minutes to re-gister what you ate and tosend the information thatyou are full to your bodyand brain. Allow your bodyand mind the necessarytime to send and receivethese signals.

▪ Be discriminating. If thesame food is prepared indifferent ways, choose yourfavorite. For example, ifthere are mashed potatoesand sweet potatoes, con-sider which will give you themost pleasure, or have asmall amount of both.

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▪ Be aware of portionsize. If you usually havetrouble knowing how muchyou have eaten, put the foodon your plate in piles thatdon’t overlap. Start withthis, and then wait and seehow your body responds.

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#40 Dining OutMindfully

Jill loves interesting, quaint cafés

and was a regular at many local Thairestaurants. She disliked cooking, andthe flavors she found at restaurantsfar surpassed anything she could cre-ate. The dark side of eating out,though, was worrying about excesscalories. She had no control over howthe food was prepared, and becauseshe didn’t know how many caloriesshe was consuming, she felt guilty.Still, when she dined out as a rewardto herself, she mindlessly overate.Eating at restaurants was equal partspleasure and remorse.

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The good news is that you don’thave to stop eating at restaurants ifyou are trying to manage your weight.A study in the Journal of NutritionEducation and Behavior found thatwomen who frequently ate at restaur-ants actually lost weight after theylearned mindful eating skills. They re-duced their intake by approximately300 calories even though they weren’t“dieting” (Timmerman and Brown2012). Although the mindfulnessskills were geared toward eating bet-ter at restaurants, the researchersfound that women also used themindful eating skills at home. In oth-er words, mindful eating skills helpyou to improve your dining habitswhether you are eating at your kit-chen table or at a five-star restaurant.

Many restaurant-goers think,“Eating out is special and a treat, and

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therefore I should eat whatever Iwant.” But it doesn’t have to be thatway. If you eat out a lot too, the goodnews is that you can use mindfulnessskills as you would at home. Attent-ive, aware, nonjudgmental eating cantake place anywhere. Learn to thinkof the restaurant’s ambience and ser-vice, and the fact that you don’t haveto clean up, as the real treat.

Skill Builder: How to Dine OutMindfully

Going to a restaurant can lead toall sorts of mindless eating behaviors.But it doesn’t have to be that way ifyou follow some of these tips:

▪ Choose wisely. The firststep in planning an eveningout is to choose a restaurantmindfully. This means

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picking one with a large se-lection of healthy, interest-ing foods. Avoid buffet-style, all-you-can-eat, fixed-price, or three-coursemeals, or places with lim-ited selections. This ap-proach is similar to avoid-ing the grocery store whenyou are hungry. Make aplan in advance: look atmenus online. Try to choosea full-service restaurantover fast-food and a localrather than chain restaur-ant—it’s easier for chefs tochange the entrees to yourliking if they aren’tpremade.

▪ Eat an apple. Accordingto one study, eating an

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apple before your lunch candecrease how much you eatat lunch by 15 percent(Flood-Obbagy and Rolls2009). The fiber in theapple, or any piece of fruit,helps fill you up, potentiallyhelping you to avoid over-eating. But also, tasting asweet, crunchy piece of fruitcan move you into a mind-ful state of mind.

▪ Order soup. Consumingsoup before the main entreereduced consumption of themeal by 20 percent, accord-ing to one study (Flood-Ob-bagy and Rolls 2007). Thewater in the soup helps fillyou up. Also, eating soup isa process that is done

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slowly. This can also help tomove you into a mindfulmind-set before you eatyour meal.

▪ Order a salad. Consum-ing a large, low-caloriesalad (with small amountsof cheese and dressing) be-fore a meal makes you feelmore satisfied and de-creases consumption duringthe meal by approximately12 percent (Rolls, Roe, andMeengs 2004).

▪ Drink water. Drink atleast sixteen ounces of wa-ter. Water is an effectiveway to help you manageyour weight and appetite(Dennis et al. 2010).

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▪ Drink mindfully. Order-ing alcohol with your mealcan increase mindless eat-ing. Also, be aware thatdrinks have nutrients (orlack them) and calories.

▪ Eat your favorite foodlast. Save your favoritefood until the end of themeal. A study in the journalAppetite found that peoplewho had a cookie after ameal rather than before ittended to remember eatingit more after time hadpassed (Robinson andHiggs 2011). Thus, keepingthe experience fresh in yourmind will make it less likelythat you will reach for an-other cookie or treat later.

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▪ Don’t go out reallyhungry. When you aremoderately hungry as op-posed to very hungry, it ismuch easier to make mind-ful choices and to refusefood you normally wouldn’teat. Very hungry people arelikely to eat anything put infront of them. Moderatelyhungry people are choosier.

▪ Choose good diningcompanions. Eat withpeople who are good, mind-ful eating role models asmuch as possible.

▪ Share an appetizer or adessert. Ask someone atyour table to split an orderwith you. Discuss your likes

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and dislikes rather thandwelling on food that you“can’t have.” Have fun.

▪ Don’t judge what otherseat. No one wants to dinewith someone who criticizeshis food choices. If someonechooses greasy French friesthat you wouldn’t daretouch, be aware of your re-action. Say to yourself, “I’mjudging, and I need to bemore compassionate. I no-tice that I become enviousand critical at the sametime. I need to focus on myeating and my eatingalone.” At other times, youmight feel guilty that your“thinner” companion is eat-ing less than you are. Again,

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be mindful of your needsand everything going onwithin yourself.

▪ Minimize celebratoryoutings. Try to curtail go-ing to a restaurant as a wayto celebrate or providepleasure—even if the mealis for someone else. Buy hera gift, send a card, leave avery thoughtful voice mailmessage instead of goingout to dinner. Until youhave a better handle on eat-ing mindfully, dining out onspecial occasions can bevery challenging, since it re-inforces the notion thatfood provides the ultimatecomfort, which it doesn’t. Ifyour friends ask you out to

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dinner frequently, suggestmeeting for coffee or tea in-stead. Plan non–food-re-lated activities like going fora walk or to the movies. Orinvite your friends to a din-ner that you will prepare.

▪ Avoid picking at yourfood. When bread isbrought to your table, take apiece or two, and send therest away. Bread (and but-ter) are among the mostcommon mindlessly eatenfoods. When you are donewith your meal, move yourplate to the side, or ask tohave it removed. It’s easy toput more food on your platemindlessly—or to pick at

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what’s left—when it is infront of you.

▪ Minimize businesslunches and dinners.Try not to conduct businessmeetings or important dis-cussions over a meal. It isdifficult to be attentive toyour eating when you mustengage in critical or emo-tional conversation at thetable. People tend to usefood unconsciously tosoothe tension, too, soschedule meetings withoutfood (or with only healthyfoods) when possible.

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#41 Accepting YourGenes

Ella’s family joked that she, like

other women in the family, had beencursed with the “Cervelloni hips.” Thewomen on her father’s side all hadwide, sturdy hips and buttocks thatwere a painful contrast to the thin, el-egant hips and dainty butt that shefantasized about when she workedout. When she examined her familylineage in old photos, it was clear thather desire to fit into a much smallersize petite pants was unrealistic. Nomatter how much she dieted andworked out, her bone structure andher body type would not change.

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Body shape and weight range arelargely influenced by genetics. Yourbone size, metabolism rate, and fatdeposit locations are determined byyour genetic code as much as your eyecolor, hair color, and height are writ-ten into your genes.

Accepting your body is key to eat-ing more mindfully. This is some-times confusing. You may mistake themessage of acceptance to be one ofdefeat that nothing can change. Thisisn’t it at all. Too often we fight ournatural shape with dieting and try tomold our bodies into an unrealisticshape. By accepting your body, youcan feed it according to how yourbody is, not how you want it to be.When you start doing this, your ac-tions change.

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The “set point” theory postulatesthat your body has a genetically pre-determined weight range. Your bodytries to keep your weight within thatrange and will automatically adjustyour metabolism and food-storage ca-pacity to keep you from losing orgaining weight outside of that range,or set point.

In addition, the set point theoryposits that the environment helps todetermine if your body settles at thetop or the bottom of your naturalweight range. Thus, if you are datingsomeone who is an extremely healthyeater, it may be more likely that yourweight will be at the lower end of yournatural weight range. In contrast, ifyou are dating someone who lovesjunk food, you may find your weightrising to the top of the range.

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April, for example, was five feet,three inches tall. Her weight fell nat-urally within a range of plus or minus10 pounds. If she ate mindfully, herbody weight stayed comfortably with-in this range. She noticed that it wasextremely difficult to lose any weightat the bottom of her range, and herbody felt uncomfortable when itbroached the upper limit. April’s abil-ity to listen to her body helped her toeat mindfully and to stay within hernatural range.

Skill Builder: Identify Your Nat-ural Body Shape

Draw a family tree. Identify thosefamily members who have struggledwith mindless eating. If food andweight haven’t been a topic of conver-sation, look at family pictures. Take

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into account how bodies changedfrom childhood to old age. Thinkabout whether over-, under-, orchaotic eating is a family pattern.While you are at it, appreciate thefamily traits that people admire andcompliment, like unique green eyesor naturally curly hair.

ROLE MODELS

Besides your primary caregivers,there were many other people whoimpacted the way you ate growing up.Pause for a moment and bring thesepeople to mind. Perhaps you atelunch at school with your best friend.You ate what she ate.

If you were adopted or frequentlyate with people other than your biolo-gical parents, your primary caregiversstill played a significant role in

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shaping your eating habits. They didthis by what they fed you and themessages about food they taught toyou. Tracy’s adoptive motherprovides a poignant example of howsubtle, mindless eating habits arelearned. Although Tracy’s mother didnot encourage her daughter to diet,she was constantly trying out thelatest fad diet. Her mother never atethe elaborate meals she prepared forher family. Tracy observed her moth-er’s eating habits and subconsciouslyincorporated them into her ownroutines. She wouldn’t eat foods hermom avoided because they had “toomuch fat.” Never underestimate theimportance of your environment androle models.

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Skill Builder: Identify LearnedFood Habits

Be mindful of the “typical meal”you ate while growing up. Sit still fora moment and bring to mind a typicalfamily meal as a child. Visualize it.Did you sit at a kitchen table or eat offof TV trays in front of the television?Maybe you ate alone or cooked yourown meals. Perhaps you had to sharefood with your siblings and you nevercould seem to get enough. What feel-ings pop up as you think about thisimage? Welcome in this image, evenif it is a painful one.

Now do some reflective writing.

1. List how many times a dayyou ate when you were achild (maybe you skippedbreakfast or snacked manytimes a day).

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2. What did you typically eatat meals and for snacks?

3. What messages did you re-ceive about your body,about food, and about howto eat?

4. Did these messages changeas an adolescent?

5. How do those messages af-fect you now?

6. What kind of food culturedo you want to create inyour own family, dorm, orhousehold?

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#42 Changing MindlessEating Traps

Debbie’s desk drawer was filled

with candy—caramels, chocolate,gummy bears, and the like. Whenevershe sat down at her desk, she auto-matically opened the drawer andsearched for her favorite candy. Thisroutine happened virtually everysingle day.

Mindless eating is likely to occurin the same place, over and overagain. To make life simpler, the mindtakes advantage of any shortcuts itcan. For example, when you are look-ing for underwear, your hand will

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automatically go to your underweardrawer. If you rearrange your drawersand put your underwear in a new loc-ation, your hand will still tend totravel automatically to the old draw-er, until new shortcuts are formed inyour brain. We make connectionsbetween events, and we have to workhard to break and form new links.

If you practice mindless eating incertain places, your brain is likely tosubconsciously remember that andact out of habit. What are your hotspots for mindless eating? One mightbe in your car; maybe you wait untilyou are alone and swing through thedrive-thru. Or perhaps it is when youare lying on your bed at night watch-ing TV. Or sitting in front of yourdesk.

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Jessica’s vulnerable spot was inher kitchen. To take control, Jessicacreated a mindful eating haven in herhome. This was away from the refri-gerator, phone, TV, and other distrac-tions. Before eating, she put all thefood portions she planned to eat onthe table, so she would not have to re-turn to the kitchen. She learned to re-lax and breathe between each bite,and to watch herself in the process ofeating. This slowed her down enoughto enjoy her meals in a mindful way.

Skill Builder: Pinpoint YourMindless Eating Cues

Identify the places you are mostlikely to eat mindlessly: in the kit-chen, at the local coffee shop, at yourdesk? Find ways to turn a space inyour environment into a place that

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fosters mindful eating. Remove anyclutter that could distract you whileyou eat. Objects like phones or clocksthat pull you away from a mindfulstate should be moved elsewhere.

Or create a new space. Tailor it tobe a calm, peaceful environment thatbrings you to a mindful state. If youwish, burn incense or change thelighting. Add a pretty tablecloth andfresh flowers. Play soothing music.Hang up a sign in your danger areathat reads “Eat Mindfully” to re-alertyou to your mindful stance.

Put your place setting so that itfaces away from the kitchen (or refri-gerator). Bring food to the table be-fore you eat, so you won’t have to getup.

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#43 Filling Up on Fun

“I’m so bored!” Unfortunately,

boredom and a feeling of emptinessare very common reasons that peopleeat when they are not hungry. Eating,or continuously thinking about eat-ing, fills up a stretch of time and canfeel purposeful. The emptiness of be-ing alone can be as painful as a hol-low stomach. If thinking about eatingtakes over a significant amount ofyour day, you may want to considerreorganizing your energy. Be mindfulof other activities that will satisfy youas much as food does—and that willfeed your soul, as well.

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Skill Builder: Boredom Blockers

Make a list of activities that willkeep you from reaching for food orthinking about food during down-times. As the Buddha said, “A gener-ous heart, kind speech, and compas-sionate service to others are renewingforces.” Be actively aware, awake, andmoving. Mindfully go shopping, read,participate in hobbies and sports, callsomeone, take a nap. Write in yourjournal. Turn your thoughts to beingmindful of others. By far, the best wayto fill your heart and mind is to spendtime with caring friends. Whateveryou choose to do, feed your mind byparticipating actively in the world.

Skill Builder: Ho-HumMeditation

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You can’t keep yourself enter-tained 24/7. Sometimes you will bebored. Part of the challenge is to beokay with a still and quiet mind. Set atimer for three minutes. Find a pleas-ant place to sit. You can close youreyes or not. Do what feels comfort-able. Your job is to empty out yourmind as if you are emptying out yourlaundry bin. Just sit with the stillness.If this is difficult, focus on one object.If your mind wanders or you try toentertain yourself with thoughts,bring your focus back to this object.Don’t do anything until the timergoes off. Notice what happens in yourmind. At first, your thoughts may be“I can’t take this” or “This is so bor-ing.” That is okay and actually thepoint. Your goal is to get to the pointwhere you can tolerate boredomwithout having to fill it up with food.

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#44 The Mindful Mirror

It was Jackie’s night to dine out with

her girlfriends. Jackie sat among herfive friends at the restaurant in frontof wall-to-wall mirrors. They ordereda bowl of chips and queso for the wo-men at the table to share.

As soon as she started eating,Jackie dug into the bowl, thrilled byhow wonderful the melted, spicycheese tasted. While she was eatingand talking, she causally caught sightof herself in the mirror. She watchedherself intently and was surprised bywhat she saw. It was like watchingsomeone else. Her hands movedmechanically, dipping the chips in the

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queso methodically in a steadyrhythm rather than as if she wasaware of and taking joy in what shewas eating. This sight moved her outof autopilot.

This is much like listening to your-self on the answering machine or see-ing yourself in a video. Watching orhearing ourselves from a distancegives us a different perspective.

Skill Builder: Mindful Mirror

For one meal, sit in front of themirror. Remember that this exerciseis not to judge yourself. You may no-tice your mind wanting to critiquehow you eat. Or you might feel a littleself-conscious. Simply notice whetherjudgmental thoughts come up and in-terfere with how you are eating. Youmay notice how quickly you eat. Or

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you may become more aware of yourhands and how they pick upfood—small forkfuls or large, heapingones. Simply watch.

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PART IV

MINDFULNESS OF

THOUGHTS

The thought manifests as the word;the word manifests as the deed; thedeed develops into habit; and habithardens into character. So watch thethought and its ways with care, andlet it spring from love born out ofconcern for all beings.

—Buddha

#45 Mindful andMindless Contemplation

How does mindlessness impact

your decision making? There arethree sneaky ways that your braintends to lapse into mindless thinking.They are very subtle, so unless youare aware of how they impact yourthinking, they can rule the way youeat. Why is this important? Thoughtsprecede your behavior. So it’s crucialto tweak your thoughts before you ac-tually try to change your behavior. Tolearn more about how to change yourthinking, see my book But I DeserveThis Chocolate! The 50 Most

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Common Diet-Derailing Excuses andHow to Outwit Them.

1. Pigeon-Hole Thinking:In the absence of more info,your mind tends to just de-fault to stereotypes. For ex-ample, instead of thinkingthrough whether peanutbutter would be good foryou since it has a lot of pro-tein, you default to the ste-reotype that it has a lot offat, and you avoid it. Thebenefit of simply using ste-reotypes is that it makes allof your choices much easier.Let’s face it, you make hun-dreds of decisions every dayabout what to eat and whatnot to eat. This can be ex-hausting! The downside isthat you aren’t thinking

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through the facts or makingconsidered choices.

2. Robotic Thinking: Themind is often mentallyoverloaded and needs abreak. Perhaps you’ve saidthat you are in an “eatingtrance” or an “eating coma,”or that you’ve zoned outwhile eating. It is a state ofnot thinking or not payingattention while having ameal. The problem with ro-botic thinking is that youdon’t think through wheth-er something—or its size—isa satisfactory choice. Whenyou don’t feel or think any-thing, you don’t tune in toyour stomach or mind.

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3. Automatic or RoutineThinking: This is classicautopilot behavior. Thegood news is that acting onautopilot or out of habit canmake life very easy andsimple. Routine can behelpful—but it can be at theroot cause of mindless eat-ing. For example, lapsinginto the same snacks or eat-ing habitually at night dur-ing your favorite TV show ismindless behavior.

Skill Builder: Change MindlessThinking

For one week, keep track of thethinking traps you fall into. Just ob-serve. Then, for another week, try outthese suggestions:

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▪ A mindful remedy forpigeon-hole thinking:Listen closely to yourthoughts. Notice whetheryou use any self-imposedrules or blanket statementsto decide what to eat. Suchstatements may start outwith “I always eat that …” or“The rule is …” Instead ofautomatically following therule, think it through. Sayto yourself, “That’s a snapjudgments. My choice is …”

▪ A mindful remedy for ro-botic thinking: Allow your-self some time to de-stress,unwind, and relax. Get outof the kitchen. Lie down.Put your feet up for a fewminutes. Find other

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mindless activities to helpgive your mind a break. Flipthrough TV channels or amagazine. Knit. Doodle.Surf the Net. Check e-mails.Peruse social networkingsites.

▪ A mindful remedy forroutine thinking:Throughout the day, recog-nize when you are shiftinginto a routine—for example,drinking coffee every morn-ing or leaving the house atthe same time. Shake upyour ordinary routines. Eatafter you walk the dog in-stead of before. Change theplace where you eat. Youcan also make healthy eat-ing your default habit.

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Perhaps you eat fruit as asnack every day.

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#46 Changing MindlessThinking

As the fletcher whittles and makesstraight his arrows, so the masterdirects his straying thoughts.

—Buddha

People who struggle with their eat-

ing often have distorted thinking pat-terns that are similar to the distor-tions of fun-house mirrors. You mightthink something like, “I totally blewit,” when you’ve just had a couplebites of something sweet. Or “I’m sostuffed, I feel like I’ve gained fivepounds,” even though it is impossible

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to gain weight that quickly. Thesethoughts aren’t true reflections ofreality. Regardless, the way you thinkimpacts how you eat.

Mindless thinking is automatic.These thoughts jump into your mindwithout any effort whatsoever eventhough you know they aren’t rational.The thoughts play like backgroundmusic in your mind. Most of thethoughts are extreme—black or white.When you are mindful, you look atyour thoughts from The MiddleWay—a stance in between the two ex-treme ends of the spectrum. If youdon’t notice mindless thinking, it con-tinues. It’s like getting your car stuckin the mud. The more your wheelsspin, the deeper the car will sink.

Thinking in The Middle Waybrings temperate, moderate thoughts

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that are in the moment, observant,nonjudgmental, and accepting.

Here are nine types of mindlessthinking—and how The Middle Waywould deal with the issues.

1. Extreme Thinking: Thistype of thinking is domin-ated by “either/or”thoughts. People who prac-tice extreme thinking don’tallow any room for a middleground or gray area.Examples: “I am either per-fect or I am a failure,” “I ameither beautiful or I amugly.” The Middle Waywould say, “I may not behappy with every aspect ofmy body. There are manythings I like about my body

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and myself. There are somethings I do not.”

2. Worst-Case Scenario:This is the mental habit ofovergeneralizing the poten-tial outcome of a situation.Example: “If I eat thiscookie, I will gain tenpounds, and no one willever want to go out with meagain.” The Middle Waywould say, “I will not gainten pounds if I eat thiscookie. I am trying to eatmoderately to feel betterabout myself. People likeme for many other reasonsbesides my body.”

3. Overstating the Facts:This consists of sweeping

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statements that use one ruleand apply it to a number ofsituations. Example: “Beingfat means you must belazy.” The Middle Waywould say, “Being over-weight does not imply any-thing about a person’s en-ergy or personality. That isa judgmental, mindlessthought.”

4. Turning the Micro intoMacro: This mental habitblows up the importance ofan issue to gargantuan pro-portions. Example: “If Iovereat again, my life willbe ruined forever.” TheMiddle Way would say, “Idon’t like it when I overeat.

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It is very hard on my body,and I feel bad after I do it.”

5. Abracadabra Thoughts:These consist of supersti-tious beliefs that seem tohold special powers.Example: “If I run threemiles a day, I will not gainweight.” The Middle Waywould say, “How muchweight I lose depends onmany different factors. Iwant to exercise to behealthy.”

6. Putting on the Blinders:This takes place when youignore important informa-tion. Example: “I don’t seeany evidence of physicalproblems, so my doctor

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must be wrong. The way Ieat is not harmful to me.”The Middle Way would say,“I know mindless eating isnot good for my body. Al-though I was uncomfortablewhen my doctor pointedthis out, I realize the impactunhealthy eating can haveover the long run, and I amaware of the consequences.”

7. Overdoing It: These arethoughts that inflate one’simportance or relevance toa situation. Example:“Everyone is looking at mybody. They are all laughingat me.” The Middle Waywould say, “I am exaggerat-ing. I am feeling quite

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vulnerable right now. Aglance is just a glance.”

8. Random Theories: Theseare personal theories de-veloped from faultythoughts. Example: “If I ex-ercise to get rid of calories, Iwill feel relieved. So if Icontinue to exercise, I willnever feel distressed again.”The Middle Way would say,“There are lots of things be-sides extreme exercise thathelp me feel relaxed. It’snot the only way.”

9. No Backup: These are as-sumptions that are madewithout any concrete evid-ence to support them.Example: “People always

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like those who are thin andexercise a lot.” The MiddleWay would say, “I wouldlike this to be true becauseit would help me feel morein control. However, I knowI don’t like everyone who isthin and exercises a lot. Sothis must not be true.”

Skill Builder: Observing andHealing Mindless Thoughts

Identify which types of mindlessthinking frequently pop into yourmind. When you catch yourself think-ing in any of these ways, say to your-self, “That is an example of ‘extremethinking’ [or ], and it is affecting whatI decide to eat.” Then ask yourself, “IfI followed The Middle Way, howwould that thought be phrased?”

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#47 Impartial Thoughts

Good. Bad. Right. Wrong. These are

just a few of the labels you might at-tach to the way you eat. Obviously,negative labels can be harmful.Telling yourself that you were bad foreating a sweet can make you feel likea bad person. However, positivephrases like “I’m eating right” or “Iam a good person for resisting potatochips” can also be detrimental. Anywords with either pleasant or criticalconnotations distract from just beingmindful of the experience. Positiveand negative words have a lot ofpower to reinforce or punish you.When you give yourself a pat on the

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back, you have to be cautious not touse that same hand to beat yourselfdown when you make a mistake.

Resisting a handful of potato chipsmay be an example either of mindfulor mindless eating depending on avariety of factors, such as how hungryyou are or whether eating the potatochips is in the context of a binge. Thesame item of food may be considered“good” at one time and “bad” atanother.

Eating that isn’t evaluated as goodor bad is considered “neutral.” Neut-ral experiences tend to slip out ofyour awareness. Fruits and vegetablesare often neutral foods. Typically, eat-ing an apple produces few to no emo-tions. If you are eating an applemindfully, you are more likely tothink about its juiciness, crunchiness,

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and tartness than your feelings. Such“neutral” experiences of eating showthat it is possible to eat without a lotof emotion

Consider for a moment the lasttime you felt content after ameal—notice that I didn’t say happyor unhappy but simply okay with theoutcome. This is a radically differentway, for many of us, to think aboutthe outcome of a meal. We oftenjudge it to be a good or bad meal andcheck off whether it fulfilled what wewere looking for, whether it brought aparticular feeling—pleasure, fullness,joy.

This can lead to mindless eating.You continue to eat because you wantthat particular feeling. And if youdon’t get it, you might keep eatingand eating. In many ways it is helpful

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to orient your mind to focus on a feel-ing you don’t often notice—which iscontentment.

Contentment is a good example ofmindfulness because it is neutral andaccepts things as they are even if it’snot what you want. It is just “okay.”Unfortunately, we are generally notraised to feel just contented. In fact,it’s often quite the contrary. We aretaught to want more, look forsomething better, keep desiring, andcontinue striving to be happy. Beingcontent is unfortunately pretty under-valued, but it is key to mindful eating.

Skill Builder: Think about FoodImpartially

Practice this exercise after a mealor snack. When you hear your mindsaying, “Just one more bite” or

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“More, please” or “I want to feel full,”find a word or term of contentment torepeat, such as: agreeable, appeased,at ease, acceptable, okay, can’t com-plain, comfortable, complacent, con-tented, fulfilled, gratified, pleased,peaceful, peace of mind, satisfied, orcomforting. Imagine these wordspassing by you as if on a ticker tape.Keep these words ever present in yourmind.

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#48 Mindful Imagery

He is able who thinks he is able.

—Buddha

Mark couldn’t imagine that he

could eat more mindfully. This mayhave been his very problem. If youdon’t feel ready to make a change, orif you feel stuck, imagery may be ex-actly what you need to get you going.Imagining a successful outcome is es-sential to changing any kind of beha-vior. Likewise, if you fixate on thereasoning that “using my imaginationwon’t change my eating,” no change iswhat’s likely to happen as a result. So

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do the opposite. Imagine a positiveoutcome and it can get you there.

According to the psychologicalprinciple of “self-fulfilling proph-ecies,” your behavior unconsciouslyleads you right down the path towardwhat you are expecting. If you expectto fail, you will unknowingly act inways that make failure more likely.The opposite is equally true. If youexpect to succeed, then imagery canhelp you to do actions you neverthought you could, like eating a pieceof fruit instead of a sweet.

Using imagery, you can step backfrom the experience and imagine ahealthy, desirable outcome. This skillvalues the power of thinking positivethoughts.

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Skill Building: Using GuidedImagery

When you have a few peaceful mo-ments, close your eyes and walkthrough these scenarios from start tofinish. Imagine these eating situ-ations in great detail. Visualize whatyou are wearing, the color of thewalls, what the food looks like, how itsmells, et cetera. State exactly whatyou will say. This imagery practicecan help to raise your confidence. Itwill make it easier to do it in person ifyou’ve “seen” yourself do it already.

SCENARIOS

▪ Saying no to a food pusher

▪ Ignoring a critical thoughtabout your body

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▪ Choosing just the rightamount of food

▪ Avoiding an impulse buy;putting it back

▪ Eating a reasonable portionof a food you love

▪ Going to the grocery storeand sticking to the list

▪ Eating at a restaurant andmaking a good choice

▪ Going through a fast-fooddrive-thru without buyinganything

▪ Being bored and findingsomething to do besideseating

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▪ Feeling stressed and findingsomething to eat

▪ Having a craving

▪ Add your own:___________

Here is a detailed example ofguided imagery:

Breathe slowly and deeply inand out. Close your eyes andcontinue to breathe from yourdiaphragm. Imagine walking in-to your favorite Italian restaur-ant. As you enter, you begin topick up the mouthwateringodors of garlic and spices.Breathe them in and out. Focuson your breathing and yoursenses. Relax. Look around therestaurant. Imagine sitting

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down at a table. The tablecloth isa checkered red-and-white pat-tern. There is a long, red candlestuck in an empty wine bottle. Itis lit. Watch the flame flicker. Inthe background, you hear softItalian music. Focus on howyou’re feeling. Be in touch withall of your senses.

The waiter comes to yourtable and hands you a menu. Asyou open it, check out your feel-ings. What are they? Name themto yourself. Your eyes scan themenu for something that enticesyou. What thoughts come tomind? Label them as justthoughts. What feelings flow inand out of your consciousness?Do you feel overwhelmed by thechoices or guilty for desiring a

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certain food? Focus on your feel-ings and your breathing.

Now imagine the food youwant to eat arriving at yourtable. Examine the dish youordered. Describe its smell, tex-ture, and taste. How does it feelin your mouth, against yourtongue, teeth, and lips, as ittravels to your stomach? Ima-gine eating this meal with allyour mindful skills in place: be-ing observant, accepting, non-judgmental, and aware of anylingering thoughts of failure.How does it feel within yourbody? Stay with every emotionthat comes up for you. Namethose emotions.

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#49 Mindful Realism

Believe nothing, no matter whereyou read it, or who said it, no matterif I have said it, unless it agrees withyour own reason and your own com-mon sense.

—Buddha

Stacy struggled with overeating for

more than ten years. She frequentlysnacked on junk food. Typically sheate out of boredom and loneliness.Regardless of numerous diets and at-tempts at therapy, once she beganeating, she felt unable to leave the kit-chen. One day, while she was eatingeverything she could get her hands

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on, her dog, Mickey, her long-timecompanion, sat at her feet and lookedup at her. According to Stacy, the lookin Mickey’s eyes indicated that hecared about what she was doing. Atthat point, Stacy put down the food,left the kitchen, and took Mickey for awalk. During the walk, she focusedand meditated on the sense of peace-fulness she felt. Thereafter, whenevershe had the urge to binge, she tookMickey for a walk around the block.You won’t find any documented“Walk Your Dog” methods to controlyour eating in any diet books. Never-theless, walking the dog worked forStacy.

A mindful mind-set encouragesyou to eat what works well in yourlife, rather than what you think isright or correct. Mindfulness doesn’tstrive for a particular result or require

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a specific change, the way we oftenarbitrarily pick a number to be aweight goal. In fact, it doesn’t dictateanything you should or should not do,because that boils down to making ajudgment. Thus, be suspicious of di-ets professing to be the “only way” tolose weight. There are manystrategies for improving your eatinghabits. Food myths and fad diets allprofess to know what is “right” to eatbut, unfortunately, they all contradicteach other.

The nice thing about mindful eat-ing is that you can apply it to any kindof eating style that works for you.Mindful eating can be applied tothose who are vegetarians, who havea special diet due to an allergy likegluten, or who eat a particular ethnicfood.

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In a nutshell, any strategy thathelps you to eat mindfully, providedthat it is nutritious and realistic, canbe employed. When people choose di-ets and foods they don’t like, or thataren’t compatible with their lifestyle,those diets and foods simply won’twork. The key is knowing yourselfwell. This will help you to identifywhat is doable, safe, and pragmatic.

The overall message is to focusless on goals and critical “shoulds”and “shouldn’ts” and more on anawareness of what works.

Skill Builder: Your PersonalFood Myths

Make a list of your food myths.These are the behaviors that you be-lieve you “should” be doing. For ex-ample, one food myth is that all

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sweets are “bad” and should bestrictly avoided. After listing yourmyths about “right” and “wrong”foods, transform these into mindfulattitudes that are realistic and likelyto work. A more flexible stance in thisexample might be that eating toomany sweets is unhealthy, but eatingan occasional, moderately portioneddessert is realistic, pragmatic, anddoable.

It is important to consult a re-gistered dietitian about the foodmyths you’ve accepted. When youhave become entangled in mindlesseating, it may be hard to know wheth-er your nutritional knowledge is ontarget or skewed. A woman in coun-seling admitted feeling very guiltyafter eating a bowlful of carrots. Shedefined this as overeating. Althoughcarrots are healthy vegetables, a

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bowlful of anything seemed wrong.Her mind had lost the ability to ob-serve her behavior in a realisticmanner.

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#50 Thinking OutMindful Meals

Full concentration is essential to be-

ing mindful. One very commonhindrance to straightforward, peace-ful, mindful eating is inconsistency inyour eating patterns. It’s tough tofully engage in work or play when youare extremely hungry. You may noticethat you can’t think about anythingelse but food. Nor can you be fullypresent after you’ve overeaten. Yourthoughts become very distracted byyour discomfort.

Vicky fell into the habit of skip-ping breakfast and then overeating at

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lunch. Skimping on her calorie intakein the morning made her ravenous atmidday. She often overate at lunchbecause she believed she had room to“make up” for the calories she hadmissed at breakfast. Vicky ended upeating more calories than she wouldhave if she had had a sensible break-fast and been only moderately hungryat lunch.

Perhaps your fear is that if you eatregularly or follow a structured mealplan you will cause weight gain.However, as regular eating patternsdevelop, weight tends to stabilize ordrop due to newly consistent patternsof mindful eating. Structure a mealplan that includes three meals a dayand two snacks with no more thanthree-hour gaps between. Make itfeasible, realistic, and easy for yourschedule. Incorporate as many

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mindful meals as possible into yourdaily life.

Skill Builder: Mindful MealPlanning

With some prudent planning andconscientious thinking, you can de-vise mindful meals for the weekahead.

▪ Eat a minimum of threetimes a day. Eat breakfastand have small snacks. Thisis as important as puttinggas in your car. Withoutfuel, your car isn’t going tomove, and neither will you.If you feel the urge to putsomething in your mouthand you really aren’thungry, drink cold water.Sip the water slowly. Drink

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sparkling mineral water tofeel the bubbles ticklingyour tongue. Buy flavoredor vitamin-enriched water.

▪ Eat every three hours.Eat something small everythree hours or so in accord-ance with your hunger. Thisprevents the urge to binge.

▪ Follow a balanced mealplan. If you follow a specialdiet that is vegetarian orgluten free, for example,you may need to be particu-larly attentive to balance.No matter what, make sureyou obtain a well-rounded,sufficient amount of pro-tein, vitamins, and miner-als. Pay attention to your

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body’s cues and the signalsit may send requestingmore iron, calcium, or othervitamins and minerals.

▪ Get your energy fromfood. If you rely on coffee,tea, or caffeinated drinks toget you through the day, it’simportant to bring this toyour awareness. Pay atten-tion to your energy levels.Think about whether youare using caffeine as a foodsubstitute. Make it a goal toget enough energy via yourfood.

▪ Check your vitamin in-take. Although everyoneneeds vitamins, it is best toget your vitamins from the

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original food source. Thefood primes your body touse the vitamins in the bestpossible way. When you sal-ivate in response to food,it’s an indication that yourbrain knows what is comingand sends signalsthroughout your body. Yourbrain doesn’t react in thesame way to vitamin pills.Eating whole foods is moremindful than taking vitam-ins because your entirebody is integrated in theexperience.

▪ Plan your meals for theday. Having food accessibleand convenient will preventyou from grabbingwhatever is sitting around.

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▪ Choose hot foods. Whenyou are really hungry, eatsomething hot. Hot foodsare often more filling andstimulate more internalsensation than cold foods.

▪ Avoid finger foods orappetizers. It’s easier toovereat or binge on thesefoods because they skewyour perception of portionsize.

▪ Steer clear of bingefoods. If you have troublewith binges, don’t buy foodsthat are likely to make youbinge or overeat, at least atfirst. Make your home andworkspace totally free ofyour favorite binge foods.

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Once you become moremindful and in better con-trol of your eating, the pres-ence of tempting foodsshouldn’t be a problem.However, at the beginning,make it as easy for yourselfas possible. If you have theurge to binge and the foodis present, leave the roomfor at least ten minutes.

▪ Consult a registered di-etitian. To obtain informa-tion about the basic foodgroups (protein, dairy,fruits and vegetables,grains), speak with an ex-pert. This will help you un-derstand what would be ahealthy food plan for you.Get accurate information.

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Don’t rely on what you readin trendy magazines.

▪ Avoid drugs and alco-hol. These increase yourvulnerability to eatingmindlessly. Alcoholprovides an abundance ofmindless calories, and it re-duces your ability to de-scribe and observe yourbody sensations. Both alco-hol and drugs compromisethe precision, clarity, andpurity of sensation that isnecessary for mindfuleating.

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#51 Hearing Your InnerFood Critic

Sarah had an eating “oops.” She ate

two desserts instead of one at a spe-cial anniversary dinner even thoughshe had promised herself that shewouldn’t. She already felt guilty be-cause she had vowed not to drownher frustration in chocolate after adreaded visit from her mother-in-lawbut she had done it anyway. NowSarah had a choice. She could eithercalmly and compassionately talk her-self through the incident, or she couldlet her inner critic go to town rumin-ating, feeling guilty, and criticizingher for the misstep.

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Your inner critic can be prettypunitive and unforgiving. Think for amoment about some of the namesyour inner critic has called you: weak,stupid, fat, and so on. These thoughtscan be like a sportscaster’s commentsduring the final seconds of a game.Instead of just observing what is hap-pening, sportscasters describe mis-takes in a disparaging manner. Theirtone is distinct, critical, and judg-mental. They announce how the“right” play “should” have been ex-ecuted. Similarly, your inner foodcritic may give you a play-by-playcommentary about what you “should”or “should not” be eating.

Judgmental remarks are dam-aging for many reasons, but mainlybecause thinking such thoughts pullsyour senses away from fully experien-cing eating. Who can enjoy food when

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your mind keeps chanting, “You ap-pall me! How can you eat that!”?These thoughts make you feel badabout yourself, which often leads tomore mindless eating—not less.

It might sound easy to get rid ofhypercritical judgments. However,you may notice that it is harder thanyou think. The mind clings to this wayof speech to try to control and limitmindless eating. The inner food criticis a master at inducing shame, self-hate, guilt, and regret in the hopes ofgetting you to eat more mindfully.Ironically, these feelings are theprime instigators rather than stop-pers of mindless eating.

Compassion is key to helping youmanage your weight and change yourthinking. It seems counterintuitive ifyou’ve been indoctrinated with a diet

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mentality that suggests that you are afailure if you don’t have perfect con-trol over your body and cravings. Itwould be nice if an eating oops didn’tthrow you into such a tailspin. Guiltand bad feelings often lead to comforteating and self-sabotage.

Compassion sometimes doesn’tcome naturally. Our minds aretrained to home in on mistakes anderrors. It can be like a mental scav-enger hunt actively looking for whatyou do “wrong” instead of what youdo “right.” So if you overeat and aretempted to berate yourself, thinkagain. Remember that being criticalof yourself does not inspire you tochange. Think of how empowering akind word from a parent or spouse isand how damaging a critical state-ment can be. A harsh word can playin your mind on repeat for years. An

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easy way to start being more compas-sionate is to give a stranger a genuinecompliment. Kindness is like a boom-erang. It returns to you.

Skill Builder: Silencing the In-ner Food Critic withCompassion

Praise and blame, gain and loss,pleasure and sorrow come and golike the wind. To be happy, rest like agiant tree, in the midst of them all

—Buddha

Sit still and turn your mind in-ward. Center yourself. Think about arecent incident of mindless eating.When your inner food critic speaks,what does it say? Notice how it talksto you. Is it yelling, whispering,

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nudging, urging, or sarcastic? Allowthe thoughts to arise, and just takenote of them. Try not to judge your-self for the thoughts but simply ac-knowledge the content and tone ofyour inner speech. Are these wordslike a punching bag in your gut? Dothey sting your self-esteem? Do harshwords make you lose your appetiteand the ability to taste and enjoy thefood that sustains you?

Respond instead of react to yourinner critic. You may notice yourselfarguing with your internal nemesis.Perhaps you respond with “I’m notstupid for eating that!” or “I do havecontrol over myself.” Instead of get-ting into an emotional struggle, say,“Okay, I welcome in this thought. Idon’t have to believe the thought oract as if it is true.”

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Practice using the compassionateBuddha voice within you to counteryour inner sportscaster. Choose anempathetic and kind quote to be yourmantra. When you have an eating uh-oh, repeat the mantra silently to your-self many times a day.

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#52 Enhancing YourEating Memory

Why do you mindlessly continue to

eat after you’ve had enough? In part,it is simply because you forget howmuch you eat. If only your mind werelike a computer—simply add anotherchip to increase your memory capa-city. It’s likely that you have a lot toremember in your life. So it makessense that you can genuinely and in-nocently forget about a snack you hadin the afternoon. Therefore, if you aregoing to eat mindfully, you have toimprove your memory capacity a littlebit.

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In one study, participants whowatched TV while eating lunch atemore than subjects who did not watchTV. In addition, people who watchedTV during lunch ate more food laterduring the day (Higgs and Woodward2009). The researchers hypothesizedthat the subjects ate more duringlunch because the experience was lesssatisfying. However, they also suspec-ted that watching TV interfered withencoding the experience into theirmemory. Basically, the researchersconcluded that the subjects ate morebecause the experience didn’t gettransferred to their memory; re-searches have concluded thatmemory plays an important role inappetite control (Higgs and Donohoe2011). The takeaway: Focus on yourmeal instead of disconnectingmentally.

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Skill Builder: Enhance YourMeal Memory

These tips can help you to remem-ber what you ate:

▪ Keep a food log. Mostweight-management pro-grams will promote theclassic technique of startinga food diary because it helpsyou remember what youate. Fortunately, there are alot of new, innovative, andcreative ways to keep trackof what you eat. You canuse a camera to snap a pic-ture, document it on aphone app, use a voice re-corder on your laptop, e-mail yourself, or jot it downin a notebook.

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▪ Sense it. Think for a mo-ment about the best dessertyou ever had. Now describeit to yourself. Use a lot ofsensory descriptors—thearoma, the texture, and soforth. Using all of yoursenses when you eat canhelp you later to rememberwhat you ate hours earlier.Take a close look at yourfood and state one word foreach of these dimensions.Say you eat a croissant.Smell: sweet; taste: buttery;touch: flakey; sound: ofknife spreading jam. Pur-posefully focusing on howthe food tastes and smellshelps to encode the experi-ence deeper into yourmemory. You are more

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likely to eat less later, be-cause you have a better re-call of what you consumed(Higgs and Woodward2009). In other words, youare more likely to think Oh,I remember eating abrownie at lunch. I’d betternot have a sweet now in-stead of forgetting about thebrownie altogether.

▪ Use mnemonics. The artof assisting the memory byusing a system of rhymes,rules, phrases, diagrams,and acronyms can helpsome people. For example,if you ate a snack of toast,apple, and pears, use theacronym TAP to rememberit.

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▪ Relate the food to in-formation you alreadyknow. For example, if youeat blueberries, take a mo-ment to reflect on what theydo for you—pump you fullof antioxidants. Imagine apump. Or create a shortstory about the blueberries.

▪ Leave evidence of whatyou eat. Let’s say yousnack on a bag of pretzels.Keep the bag instead ofpitching it. This will remindyou how much you ate.

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#53 Minding the Inch

Many people who struggle with

their eating suffer from camel-onasophobia. It’s likely that you dotoo, even if you’ve never heard of it.Let me tell you a story that can helpexplain it. It’s based on Bedouin folk-lore. Bedouins are a camel-raising,desert-dwelling Arab tribe (hence theroot word “camel”). A man from thistribe was traveling across the deserton his camel. As night approached, hepitched his tent to protect him fromthe cold. His camel asked, “Master,please let me enter, I’m cold.” Theman answered no and went to bed.

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During the night, the camel yelledinto the tent, “Master, I’m cold! Can Iplease just put my nose in the tent?”To quiet the complaining camel, hesaid yes and then fell back into a deepsleep. A short while later, the camelasked, “Can I just put my front legs inthe tent? They have to be warm tohelp me travel so far.” The mastermuttered okay just to make the camelbe quiet. It worked, but now he wasgetting uncomfortable because thetent was quite crowded. The nexttime the master woke, he realizedthat he was sleeping outside the tent.The master had been pushed out. Thecamel was now alone in the tent.

This story illustrates a commonfear that many of my clients experi-ence. It’s the “If I give myself an inch,I’ll take a mile” phenomenon. If yousay okay to just one bite of cake, you

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believe that inevitably you’ll eat theentire cake. Or if you have just acouple of chips, you’ll eventually eatthe entire bag. Or the ultimate fear:“If I let loose on my diet just a little orgive myself permission to relax, I willtotally lose all control.” Another termfor this is the “slippery slope.”

The slippery slope is a thinkingfallacy that many of us experience.There are two problems with this typeof thinking. The first is that yourmind wants to convince you that A =Z. So if A happens (I eat a bite ofcake), then by a gradual series ofsmall steps through B, C, … X, Y,eventually and absolutely it will leadto Z (I will eat the whole cake). Thus,if you don’t want Z (eating the wholecake), then A shouldn’t occur either.The second problem is lack of distinc-tion. This makes A (eating a bite) the

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same as Z (eating the whole cake).But there is quite a bit of differencebetween a bite and the entire cake.It’s like saying that there is no differ-ence between a very short person anda tall person. At some point there is aline you draw to say A is distinctlydifferent and doesn’t have to be thesame as Z.

Skill Builder: Minding the Inch

Learn to spot the common think-ing fallacy of the “If I give myself aninch, I’ll take a mile” phenomenonwith food. Notice whether you arecreating a chain of inevitable eventsin your mind before they even hap-pen. Is your mind so focused on Z(eating a whole cake) that it missesthat there are many steps in between,from A to B and B to C, et cetera? You

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have many opportunities to inter-vene. A doesn’t have to be inexorablylinked with Z. Label all the possiblesteps in between.

Mentally make a distinctionbetween A and Z before you start. Inthe cake example, draw an imaginaryline with your mind. Be mentallypresent inch by inch. The problem of-ten comes when you zone out a littlebetween A and Z. With each inch,make an active decision to take an-other bite or to stop. Think of eachbite as one inch.

At the end of the day, however,giving yourself only an inch may bepart of the problem. Just like puttingonly his nose in the tent in an attemptto stay warm didn’t keep the cameltoasty enough, you will need to

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discover how much would be reallysatisfying—and then stick to it.

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#54 Minding YourWorries

An insincere and evil friend is to bemore feared than a wild beast; awild beast may wound your body,but an evil friend will wound yourmind.

—Buddha

This saying succinctly captures how

harmful a toxic relationship can be toyour state of mind and sense of well-being. It’s tough to be mindful whenyou are worried about what otherpeople think of you. Perhaps you’ve

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asked, “If my body isn’t really attract-ive, will people like me?”

It is true that many people oftenmake their first judgments based onappearances. But real relationshipsare based on far more substantialconnections. When you are trulymindful of your relationships, you ex-amine people from a holistic ap-proach. You are appreciative of all as-pects of who they are. Mindfulnessdoesn’t value the past or future. Rath-er, it values people for who they are inthe present moment. Get in touchwith your reactions and with whatyou sense and how you feel in afriend’s presence, as opposed to whatyou know about his past or what youthink about who he’ll be in the future.

People with eating issues are oftenpeople pleasers. People pleasers care

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a lot about making others happy, of-ten at the expense of their own well-being. People pleasing inhibits mind-fulness because you are always anti-cipating how people will react as op-posed to being fully present and mak-ing decisions based on what yousense and feel in the moment.

Skill Builder: RelationshipCheck

If you worry about what otherpeople think about your body, startby evaluating the quality of your rela-tionships. Do you judge other peopleexclusively on their appearance? Ifyou are critical of yourself, do youproject this negativity onto otherpeople and assume that this is whatthey think about you? Consider howthis might affect your relationships.

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What is it that you are afraid otherswill see if they really know you?

When you are with friends andfamily, really be with them. Look intheir eyes, touch their hands, keepyour mind focused on the conversa-tion. Take note of the feelings andthoughts that arise within you.

Skill Builder: Mindful Body Talk

Be more aware of the messagesyou receive from and send to yourfriends. The Buddha said, “Thou-sands of candles can be lighted from asingle candle, and the life of thecandle will not be shortened. Happi-ness never decreases by beingshared.” Don’t make fat-phobic com-ments, check out others’ bodies, orsnicker about others’ weight. Refuseto engage in disparaging talk about

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someone else’s looks. When you findyourself giving someone the once-over and making a critical comment,counter it with a positive observation.Genuinely compliment others.

Try not to comment on changes inpeople’s weight. You don’t know whatyour comment may mean tosomeone, and you have no idea whatkind of effect your comment mayhave on that person. Dieters often re-port mixed feelings on complimentsfor weight loss. They like the valida-tion. Yet they wonder, “Was I reallythat bad before?” Your comments(both positive and negative) aboutweight can trigger an unintended re-action. For example, unhealthy, evendangerous, mindless undereating canbe reinforced by well-meaning lovedones and coworkers who say, “Oh,you look so thin” or “You don’t need

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to lose weight.” If you must saysomething, use a generalized compli-ment like, “You look really nicetoday.” Don’t emphasize weight. Say-ing that someone looks “fat” or has“gained weight” can be very cruel.Value people not for their butts,thighs, or stomachs but for theirhearts and minds.

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#55 Mindful Practice

Fall down seven times, get up eight.

—Zen Proverb

This is a Buddhist saying about resi-

lience, persistence, and the ability tobounce back. If you read biographiesabout the lives of successful million-aires, their stories are remarkablysimilar. These millionaires had aseries of dramatic setbacks or fail-ures. For example, Milton Hershey,the founder of Hershey’s chocolate,went bankrupt several times beforemaking his fortune. The one qualitythat set such successful people apart

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from others, and contributed to theireventual success, was their ability toaccept loss, feel the pain, learn fromthe experience, and jump right backup. In a similar way, mindful eatingtakes practice, and, in the beginning,you may not always succeed. Youneed a strong resilience when yourmind says, “I blew it! Why try tochange my eating? It will neverwork.”

As Buddha said, “A jug fills dropby drop.” In other words, mindfuleating is a continual journey that re-quires an enormous amount of per-sistence. Healing your eating habitscould be a lifelong activity. Also, re-gardless of how well you mastermindfulness, it will be impossible toescape an unintentional bout ofmindless eating, or the occasionallapse into old undereating habits. The

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doughnuts at work, the pizza orderedin, or a food that induces guilty feel-ings will temporarily tempt you backinto a non-aware, self-indulgentmind-set. When you realize what youhave done, don’t fall for the “Oh, well,I’ve completely ruined it anyway”attitude.

Expect the occasional out-of-the-blue mindless eating. It will happen.In fact, it would actually be a bad signif problematic moments didn’t occur.Sometimes, you need to eat mind-lessly to reestablish contact withmindful eating. Mindless eating willremind you of the benefits of con-trolled, aware eating. Think of a boutof mindless eating as stepping into apothole in the road. Consider it achallenge and tell yourself to keepwalking. Think about it as if you werestepping out for a walk with a general,

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not specific, destination in mind. Asthe Buddha said, “If we are facing inthe right direction, all we have to dois keep on walking.”

Learning to become mindful is away of thinking that develops overtime. Instead of saying a task hasbeen done “well” or “poorly,” con-scientious thinkers consider a deed ashaving been done in a “skillful” or“unskillful” manner. This acknow-ledges individual abilities and recog-nizes that what is right for one personmay not be so for another. Rememberthat learning how to eat mindfully is agradual process. It can be likened toearning different belt colors whenlearning a martial art. The skills buildupon each other. You start at the be-ginning wearing a white belt, and youearn new belt colors by mastering dif-ferent sets of skills. The black belt is

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the goal signifying mastery, but thestudent works slowly through a vari-ety of different belt colors beforeachieving that goal.

Skill Builder: Mindful Practice

When you get discouraged, think:

▪ Progress, not perfection.

▪ I can take charge of thismoment, not the future orthe past.

▪ Make now a non-regret-table moment.

▪ Find true comfort, not mo-mentary pleasure.

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Remember that mindful eatingtakes time and practice. It won’t hap-pen overnight. Stay with it!

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PART V

MINDFUL EATING

MOTIVATIONS

This section is newly written for the

second edition. The idea came aboutto provide readers with one place toturn to for quick inspiration, to helpyou switch gears, to get you on trackto mindful eating. Emotional eaterswill find the Checklist for EmotionalEaters chock-full of simple but effect-ive tips to help you practice aware-ness while eating. A separate list ofmindful eating quotations will motiv-ate you when you need extra support.Finally, tips for practicing the four

foundations of mindfulness arebroken down into handy, concisesegments.

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Checklist for EmotionalEaters

This list of 59 mindful eating tips

can be quickly and easily applied toyour breakfast, lunch, and dinner.These handy tips are aimed to makeyou more attentive to how you eat.Refer to them anytime you feel thatyou may be slipping into mindlesseating. Any action that makes youmore aware of your food choices isone that brings you closer to mindfuleating.

___________ Solve thehunger mystery. How doyou know it’s emotional

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rather than physical hun-ger? Ask yourself what hap-pens if you say no to your-self, for instance, “No, icecream is not a good idea.”Do you throw a silent tem-per tantrum? Get angry?Feel it is unfair? If you say,“But I want it!” you knowthat this is likely to be anemotionally driven requestto eat, rather than fillingphysical hunger. When youare physically hungry, youare often open to manyfoods to quiet the stomach.If you suspect emotionalhunger, but aren’t trulysure, tell yourself no as ifyou are firmly settingboundaries with a child ask-ing for candy in a candy

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store. Notice whether youreact with emotion or logic.

___________ Chewgum. If you struggle withemotional overeating orfeeling hungry all the time,even after you eat, try chew-ing gum. According to astudy in the journal Appet-ite, chewing gum for at least45 minutes can reduce yourappetite, make you feel lesshungry for snacks, and in-crease fullness (Hethering-ton and Regan 2011). Thisis not to help you restrictyour eating. Instead, chew-ing gum gives you an activ-ity to do while you tune into your body and observe

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what you are feeling andthinking.

___________ Preventroaming. Another cue thatyou are one step away frommindless eating is roaming.You may notice yourselflistlessly wandering aroundthe kitchen, opening up acabinet, peaking in withoutreally looking, and thenshutting it and repeatingthe steps with the refriger-ator. If this is the case, sitdown. Imagine being gluedto your seat. Take a time-out to think clearly aboutwhat you are looking for.Are you in need of food orstress relief?

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___________ Decipherphysical hunger. Checkout the acronym GET:Gradually increasing desirefor food versus the urgecoming on suddenly,Emptiness in stomach(growling, rumbling, etc.),Timing (last meal or snackeaten approximately threehours ago). Ask yourself if itis time to GET food.

___________ Feed theright need. Put feelingsand hunger in separatecorners. If emotions aredriving you to eat, be veryspecific about what you arefeeling. Name the emotionvery clearly. This will helpyou to find the right

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solution. For example, eat-ing a sandwich or reading abook probably will not easeanger. But calling a friendto vent will do the trick.

___________ Reversehindsight for foresight.Ask someone after the factwhy she ate too manybrownies and she is oftenable to explain it quiteclearly. “I ate the browniesbecause I was just bored.”Thus, the insight is therewithin you. However, theunderstanding often isn’taccessed until after the fact,when it is too late. Take justone mindful moment aheadof time to ask yourself,“Why am I going to eat this

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brownie?” It doesn’t matterif you are “right” or“wrong.” Just take a stab ata reason. If you hear your-self answering, “I just wantit,” be sure to push yourselfto thinking more deeply.This kind of reply issidestepping the question.

___________ Turnmindless picking intomindful choosing. It’seasy to pick mindlessly at abowl of chips or to automat-ically scoop up a secondhelping of baked beans. Itmay even feel like yourhand has a mind of its own.Your fingers just reach outwithout any real thought.To turn this around, focus

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your attention onto theplacement of your handsand body. Pay close atten-tion to how your body is po-sitioned and watch itclosely. If you find that younaturally gravitate back tothe table or to an areawhere the snacks are kept,imagine that you are wear-ing a lead vest (the kind youwould wear for an X-ray) orthat you are walking under-water. Notice how thesesensations slow down yourautomatic and sometimesunconscious movements. Ifyour hand likes to pick atfood, imagine wearing aheavy bracelet or watch. Orwear one as a reminder to

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be mindful of yourmovements.

___________ Energizemindfully. Some emotion-al eating is the result of be-ing overly tired. Considerwhether you are eating towake up or get an energyboost. The obvious inter-vention is to get more sleep:take a short nap. If thisdoesn’t work or you can’tsqueeze it in, try a few ener-gizing exercises. Jogging orstepping in place quicklycan get your blood pumpingagain. Caffeinated black tearather than coffee or sodacan be helpful; it helps toreduce your cortisol levels,the stress hormone that

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often leads you to stress eat,and it is soothing. However,in the long run, it is helpfulto notice whether you usefood to cope with fatigueand then find ways to getmore rest.

___________ Winddown mindfully. One ofthe most common times ofthe day when peoplestruggle with mindlessemotional overeating isright after work. As soon asyou walk in the door, youmake a beeline for the kit-chen. Sometimes it is hun-ger. But, in actuality, this isoften just a way to unwindand relax. This makes agood case for finding a

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healthy way to detach fromwork. This may besomething like taking fiveminutes to close your eyesat your desk before rushingout the door. Or turn downan extra side road to giveyourself time to listen to asoothing song before you gohome. You might also trychanging your clothes assoon as you walk in thedoor to help shift out ofwork mode and to feel com-fortable. If you are genu-inely hungry, take a snackto eat before you leave theoffice. This gives your bodytwenty minutes for yourbrain to register that youate and turn down the

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intensity of hunger whenyou walk in the door.

___________ Use anapkin. Switching gearsfrom the fast pace of every-day life to a mindful mind-set at the dinner table canfeel like turning on a dime.Place a napkin on your lap.Spread it out slowly. As youdo so, turn your attention tothe color of the napkin andthe weight of it sitting onyour lap. Imagine tuckingall the issues on your mindunder this napkin. Onlywhen you are mentally andphysically present and at-tentive to the table shouldyou begin eating. Use the

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napkin in a ritualistic wayto shift your mental state.

___________ Disobeyyour inner food critic.We all have a food critic liv-ing inside of our heads.Your inner food criticmakes decisions about whatto eat and what not to eat.To avoid getting caught upin his demands, learn tohear not heed his everywish. Just because youthink it doesn’t mean youhave to do it. So if yourmind says eat, acknowledgethat message and know thatyou don’t have to obeyevery command of yourfood critic.

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___________ Cook justenough. A significantamount of mindless eatinghappens after dinner. Why?It becomes part of theclean-up ritual. You tellyourself, “If I just take an-other bite of the garlicbread I don’t have to put itin a container or throw itaway.” Downsizing yourcooking is an easier way toaddress this than trying toavoid picking at thoseleftovers. Try it out for anevening. If there are fourpeople eating, make onlyfour servings, not enoughfor extra portions orservings. This isn’t to de-prive you of food but tobreak the cycle of mindless

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overeating. If you wantmore later, you can alwaysmake additional servings.Or pack up your leftoversright away. Keep your mindfocused on the fact that youwill have less lunch tomor-row if you consume thisnow.

___________ Resist themagnetic force. Many ofmy clients describe the pullto eat as being like a mag-netic force. For instance,let’s say there is a bag ofchips in the cupboard. Youtake out a handful and thenwalk away. Then youmunch on the chips, andwhen you finish you gravit-ate back to the same spot,

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take a handful, and walkaway again. This cycle mayrepeat numerous times.This is a sign of emotionaleating. Get out of the kit-chen. Stay out. Go for awalk.

___________ Take amental break. Mindlesseating sometimes plays therole of stalling and procras-tinating. Do you use eating,which feels purposeful, as away to avoid or delay an un-desirable task, such aswashing your dishes or do-ing your homework? In-stead of eating, give your-self permission to take afive-minute mental break.At the end of the five

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minutes, reevaluate wheth-er you are ready to tacklethe task or whether youneed to take another five.It’s more helpful in the longrun to give yourself permis-sion to relax than toovereat.

___________ Be waryof the slippery slope. Bemindful of the activitiesthat inevitably slide youright into mindless eating.Does going to a Mexicanrestaurant inevitably lead toovereating on tortilla chips?Perhaps nine times out often you buy a box of dough-nuts instead of selectingjust one. Avoid the innerbattle with pastries by not

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going down the slipperyslope in the first place. Inother words, steer clear ofthe bakery or restaurant un-til you feel more confident.Make a list of events thatseem linked with taking theslippery slope.

___________ Be awarewhen eating socially.Most people tend to mirrorthe way their friends, signi-ficant others, and familymembers eat. If you do this,don’t be too hard on your-self. It often happens un-consciously. Be watchful.Notice whether you arematching your dining com-panion bite for bite. If so,try to stagger your bites.

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Notice their pace and try todownshift to picking upyour fork just a little slower.

___________ Have asnack before a meal.Getting too hungry cancause mindless overeating.Before you get to an ex-treme level of hunger(shakiness, headache, lowenergy, etc.), choose ahealthy snack. Purposefullyelecting to mindfully eatnow can help you fromovereating later. Picking ahealthy snack is like an in-surance policy against eat-ing too much at the nextmealtime.

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___________ Reassessportions. It’s okay tosnack. You may just need tofind ways to get a handle onyour portion sizes. Get amuffin tin with six holes (orjust use cupcake liners).When you want a snack, fillup one, two, or three ofthese holes depending onyour hunger level. This canhelp you to visually see yourportion sizes. The muffintin also makes a great tray.

___________ Snackconsistently. Get into agroove with your snackingroutine by designating oneparticular bowl as your“snack bowl.” Make it small,and put in it whatever you

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want to munch on. This willhelp you to consistently eatthe same amount.

___________ Practicegauging your hungerand fullness. Getting toknow your hunger and full-ness signs is a critical taskin mindful eating. Try prac-ticing knowing what a fullstomach feels like when youare in a good mood. Don’ttry to do it when you arestruggling. Rate your levelof hunger from 1 to 10, with1 being extremely hungryand 10 being extremely full.Next, drink a glass of flat orcarbonated water and rateyour hunger and fullnessagain. Continue to drink the

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liquid. Notice differentlevels of fullness. You maywant to repeat this exerciseat different times of the dayand when you are in differ-ent moods. Does your moodmake it more difficult toidentify how full you are?

___________ ThinkSOS. Lack of Sleep, un-healthy Substances, andStress constitute a recipefor emotional overeating.Feeling tired, being overlystressed, and drinking orusing drugs can make yourbody work at a subpar level.On an SSS day, think SOS:Safe place (choose thesafest environment possibleto reduce the risk of

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mindless eating), Observe(watch how these condi-tions impact your mood andability to eat mindfully),calm your Senses (focus onsoothing your senses bysleeping, placing a warmwashcloth on your face,reading a distracting book,meditating, etc.).

___________ Planmindfully. We oftenmindlessly defer to ourcravings like a child playingfollow the leader. To breakthis autopilot behavior, be-fore you leave the house al-ways make a flexible planfor what you are going toeat for the rest of the day.This gives you an

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opportunity to throw asnack in your bag or togather the resources neces-sary to prevent mindlesseating later. It’s helpful toalways have a snack handy.We tend to eat whatever isnear us when we feel des-perate. This is when vend-ing machines and fast foodsuck us in. Better to have asnack that you choose inadvance than an impulsechoice.

___________ Localizesnacking. When people tryto quit smoking, they oftenlimit their behavior to oneparticular area, such as ontheir front step, the outdoorsmoking lounge at work, or

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in their car. This permitsthe behavior but localizes itto reduce other variables. Italso reduces the ease andcomfort of the behavior. Trythe same with snacking.Permit yourself to snack butin an area that is out of thekitchen and a little incon-venient. This way, youwon’t eat mindlessly—andyou may have to think twiceabout if you really want tosnack.

___________ Takebaby steps. Dieting is liketrying to empty a big pool ina matter of minutes. Mind-ful eating is emptying thepool one bucket at a time.What’s a good small step?

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Try leaving just one or twobites on your plate. Small,mindful steps matter.

___________ Getready. If your mind keepstelling you, “I want to eathealthfully but I can’t rightnow,” that is okay. Honorthat feeling. Instead, askyourself, “What can I do toprepare for when I amready? … Chop up some ve-ggies for later? Get my exer-cise clothes out? Pack asnack bag?”

___________ Play de-tective. If you aren’t sure ifyou’re hungry, scan yourbody for cues. Start withyour toes and end at the top

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of your head. As you turnyour attention to each bodypart, identify how it feels inthis moment. Then askyourself if hunger is locatedin that spot. For example,“Is hunger located in myfeet?” You might answer,“In part, yes. I notice myselfwalking around searchingfor something to eat.” Thisexercise serves two pur-poses. First, it helps you toget familiar with your bodyand to better read the sig-nals when you are genu-inely hungry. Second, it is adistraction.

___________ Regulateyour blood sugar. One ofthe best ways to prevent

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emotional eating is some-times to eat—or, rather, eatparticular foods that willkeep your blood sugar levelsteady. Whole grains, veget-ables, and some fruits pre-vent spikes in your bloodsugar (caused by candy andchocolate, for example) andsubsequent crashes, whichcause moodiness. Thesefoods keep your blood sugarsteadier, which helps pre-vent a cycle of emotionaleating. Pay close attentionto how your mood shiftsafter eating certain foods.Take note fifteen minutesafter you eat. Check back inone hour later. What do younotice?

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___________ Reassessmealtimes. Do you eat atthe same time each day nomatter whether you arehungry or not? Maybe youeat during your favorite TVshow each night. For oneweek, notice whether youset your eating schedule ac-cording to the clock. Shak-ing up your regular routinescan help you break thiscycle. For example, walkyour dog before breakfastinstead of afterward. Re-cord your favorite TV showand watch it earlier in theday when you don’t typic-ally eat. The goal is to eatmore according to yourhunger than what is desig-nated “dinnertime.”

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___________ Keephealthy foods in sight.Think for a moment aboutwhere you store healthyfoods. It’s easy to forgetabout them when you can’tsee them. So keep healthysnacks within your sightpath—on your desk, in abowl on your counter, in abasket by the front door tograb as you leave. Revampyour refrigerator. Placehealthy foods right up front,not out of sight in the veget-able drawer, where you willnever see them.

___________ Be mind-ful of the mood-foodconnection. What are youin the mood for? Do you ask

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yourself this every day? Re-phrase this to ask yourself,“What food would satisfymy hunger?” The rule isthat what you eat should bebased on your hunger, notyour mood.

___________ Eat likean athlete. Athletes thinkabout food from a very dif-ferent perspective thanmost people. When theypick up a piece of food, theysee it as energy. Before youeat, ask yourself whetherthe food is marathon-worthy (will fuel you forlong time), best for jogging(will fuel you until yournext meal), or great for asprint (will give you a very

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quick burst of energy). Con-sider how long this food willkeep you going andenergized.

___________ Love it orleave it. Stop mindlesslymunching on mediocre foodby focusing on eating onlythose treats that you dearlylove, not just like a little.Eat only desserts and treatsthat are a 9 or 10 on yourpleasure list. Some clientsagree to eat only treats thatare truly unique orhomemade. Maybe for youit is passing up any treatsthat aren’t cheesecake.

___________ Thinkcomfort not pleasure. Is

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your first reaction to stressthe desire for sensory pleas-ure on the tongue to makethings better? When younotice the urge to stress eat,think comfort not pleasure.What kinds of things bringcomfort? Sleep, a fragrantcandle, a pair of sweatpants, a soothing cup of tea,a hot bath? For more ideas,see my book 50 Ways toSoothe Yourself withoutFood.

___________ Createstopping points. Pack-aged foods often have a nat-ural stopping point built in-to them. These are theplaces where you stop toask yourself, “Do I want

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more?” For example, thestopping point for a con-tainer of sandwich cookiesis typically at the end of arow. For a bag of chips, itmight be the bottom of thebag. These built-in stoppingpoints often come too late,however. To avoid bingeing,you may need to create yourown. You can do so by put-ting food into smaller bag-gies. The bottom of thebaggy creates a new stop-ping point. When you aredone with the bag, tune into your stomach. Ask your-self, “Do I want or cravemore? Or am I content?”

___________ Eatsomething new. Are you

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afraid of ordering a newdish or eating unfamiliarhealthy foods? Don’t be.Tell yourself, “For just thismeal, I will investigate whathappens if I don’t eat onionrings.” Or “I will ordersomething different for din-ner just this once.” Thischallenge doesn’t lock youinto a long-term commit-ment. Use this trial to seewhat new sensations andfeelings pop up.

___________ Recalib-rate your palate. Do youdesire foods that are ex-tremely sweet? Do you dis-like healthy foods? Thatmay be because many pro-cessed foods are hundreds

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of times sweeter than nat-ural foods. So our tastebuds become skewed by fla-vors that are exaggeratedand not naturally occurring.Eating whole foods can helpyour tongue to be satisfiedwith healthier, naturalfoods. As you decrease yourintake of sugar and salt,your palate changes andyour sensitivity to theseitems increases. Try to eatfoods that are grown locallyand are fresh—thus notpacked with artificial flavor-ings, preservatives, addedsugar, extra salt, et cetera.

___________ Consideryour carbon footprint.What you eat doesn’t just

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impact you, it has a rippleeffect on the environmentand the entire world. This isnot to produce guilt but tohelp you to take a step backfrom your plate. What youeat also impacts thosearound you—from yourspouse to someone halfwayacross the world. If youcan’t get motivated, take amoment to pause beforeyou eat. Look closely atwhat is on your plate. Con-sider where all the itemscame from. A local farm?Another state? Anothercountry? Before you eat abanana, check the sticker tosee where it is from.

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___________ Movemindfully. If the word“exercise” makes youcringe, stop using this trig-gering word. Instead, focuson movement. Sign up for alocal one-mile walk, or runa 5K (or more, if youalready have experience) fora charity—breast cancer,autism, diabetes, you nameit. If you don’t have a causeyou support, look on theNational Eating Disorderswebsite (see Resources) fornational walks. Committingto an organized event hasmany benefits. It moves youinto training mode, givesyou a measurable anddefinable goal, and sets apermanent end date.

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___________ Calmdown your body. Stress-driven eating is, in part,spurred by the physiologicalreaction you have when youare upset. Your body shiftsinto the fight-or-flight re-sponse. If you feel the urgeto stress eat, try out somedifferent ways to calm downyour body: take severaldeep breaths, stretch, take atime-out, practice self-mas-sage, reduce extra stimula-tion (like turning down themusic or lights). Calm downall of your senses. Then ree-valuate if you want to eat.

___________ Dinerather than eat. Considerfor a moment how you eat,

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particularly things like fastfood. Do you eat them outof a paper bag? Standing upover the sink? Out of a box?To shift into a mindful eat-ing mode, put down a placemat or use a nice plate. Thiscan help to remind you thateating is important, special,and deserves all of yourattention.

___________ Can vs.can’t. Is your mind con-stantly saying, “I can’t eatthat!”? If so, you may betriggering more mindlesseating than preventing it.Continually wagging yourfinger at yourself can causeyou to sneak food or feel asense of deprivation.

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Instead, orient your mind tolooking at food with an “Ican eat it” attitude. Remindyourself that it is a choice.“I choose to eat it or Ichoose not to eat it.” Re-member that it is better tomake a conscious decisionto eat mindlessly than tomake the decisionunconsciously.

___________ Practicegratitude. Before you takea bite, take a moment to ap-preciate the food in front ofyou. Think about where itcame from and all it took toget to your plate. Say ashort prayer or simply say,“Thank you.” Gratitude can

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shift your mind into an ap-preciative, mindful mode.

___________ Make achoosemyplate.org placemat. Not sure what yourplate should look like? In2011, the government nixedthe food pyramid and puttogether a tool that can helpyou to become a moremindful eater. Rather thanspecific amounts, the iconshows you helpful portionratios. Print out the photoand make it into a placemat.

___________ Believe inchange. Many people wantto change but secretly don’tbelieve even for a second

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that anything can be differ-ent. Imagine yourself eatingmindfully—eating when youare hungry and stoppingwhen you are full. Visualizeyourself doing somethingyou believe is impossible foryou to do, like eating justone cookie or cooking ahealthy meal. If you “see”yourself doing it, you can!

___________ Heed in-ternal cues. Why do youstop eating? Notice whetheryou use internal or externalcues. External cues arethings like the waitress tak-ing your plate away (imply-ing you are done), the bag isfinished, it’s time to returnto work. Internal cues are

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feeling satisfied by food ornoticing that your thoughtsare saying stop or “I’m fin-ished.” Notice whether youlean on external or internalcues to know when to stopand start eating. Direct yourattention to internal cues.These are much more ac-curate in helping you toknow when to put your forkdown.

___________ Turn itinside out. Many of myclients struggle with opencontainers of food. It mightbe an open bag of chips or aplastic container ofleftovers. Once the lid is off,it is often difficult to stopeating until there’s nothing

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left. You might notice thatyour hand keeps enteringthe open bag. If this soundslike you, do an experiment.Open up the container andpour out all the contentsonto a paper towel. Noticehow different the food lookslaid out this way. This altersthe process of eating it.Looking at the entireamount all at once ratherthan by handfuls can helpyou eat a better portionsize. Now try grabbing sev-eral baggies and divvyingup the food into portionsthat you think would leaveyou contented.

___________ Changeyour aim. Aim to remove

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hunger, rather than feelingsatisfied or full. You’velikely been trained to thinkthat “feeling full” ends themeal. If you are waiting forthis cue, you are likely put-ting yourself at high risk formindless eating. Learn tolook for feeling okay in-stead of full.

___________ Thinkabout dessert first. Doyou eat dinner and thenask, “Do I have room fordessert?” You typically haveto be pretty full to turndown a dessert, right? So-metimes it is helpful to putthe cart before the horse.Consider first whether youwant dessert and then

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adjust your eating accord-ingly. Don’t find room fordessert, make room.

___________ Avoidblack-and-white think-ing. Nothing railroads youinto overeating like extremethinking. Whenever youhear yourself saying, “I’veblown it completely!” orother sentences that startwith “I should” or “I al-ways” or “I can’t ever dothat,” keep a thought log.Notice how many times youmake all-or-nothing de-cisions about food. Aim formore neutral ways of speak-ing about your eating. Stay-ing away from absolutes is a

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helpful practice for life ingeneral.

___________ Be real-istic. Emotional eaters of-ten unknowingly set them-selves up for guilt and dis-appointment. They set theirexpectations way too highwith glorious and grandpromises, such as, “I won’teat any junk food everagain.” If you constantlyfeel like you are disappoint-ing yourself, make your ex-pectations more realistic.Consider what you actuallydo now and challenge your-self just a little. If you typic-ally eat three cookies, aim-ing for two may be morerealistic than one or none.

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___________ Get out ofthe food coma. Emotionaleating often wipes out allfeeling. It can make younumb as if you were shotwith anesthetic, shutting offthe thoughts, feelings, andsensations that would oth-erwise force you to dealwith the issue at hand.When you slip into a foodcoma, you don’t feel any-thing. But you also don’thear your thoughts sayingstop or feel the fullness inyour stomach. If you noticethat you are feeling nothing,give yourself a gentle pinchto help yourself be awakeand present. Pay attentionto the sensation. It is likelyto be slightly

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uncomfortable. Notice howthis shifts your awareness.Go back to eatingmindfully.

___________ Flip acoin. Can’t decide whetherto eat something or not? Ifso, eliminate your foodstruggle by flipping a coin(call heads or tails), throw-ing a single die (1–3 meansyou eat, 4–6 means youdon’t), or drawing a card(black card means you eat,red means you don’t).Notice your reaction to hav-ing the decision made foryou. What do you feel? Re-lief? Anger? Disappoint-ment? Rebellion? This feel-ing is important because it

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gives you a lot of informa-tion about what you arestruggling with. Explorethat.

___________ Removedistractions. In a recentstudy, subjects who weredistracted by playing solit-aire during lunch were lessfull after they ate than thosewho didn’t play a gamewhile they ate. They also atesignificantly more than didparticipants who were notdistracted (Oldham-Cooperet al. 2011). So keep distrac-tions at bay to avoidovereating.

___________ Ask your-self … Finish this

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statement: If I eat___________, then I willfeel ___________. Thistechnique can help you toget to the bottom of whatemotion you are trying tosoothe with food.

___________ Minimizecomfort eating. If youfind yourself continuing togravitate toward comforteating, reduce the negativeimpact of it. For instance,gnaw on a healthy snack,like carrots. Choose thehealthiest, most satisfyingoption possible; if chocolatecandy is your weakness,drink chocolate milkinstead.

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___________ Takesmall bites. Eat the thingyou crave in slow, mindfulbites. Eating at a slow ratecan significantly reducehow much you eat, particu-larly for large meals (Sciscoet al. 2011). To slow downbetween bites, see the skillbuilder Slowly but Surely,Decelerating Your Eating,from #3, Moment-to-Mo-ment Eating.

___________ Delay eat-ing. Promise yourself thatyou will eat the food youcrave after doing somethingelse for five minutes. Youmay find that your cravingdiminishes a bit or is gonein this time frame. This is a

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sign of an emotional ratherthan physical urge.

___________ Stokeyour senses. Choose afood that dramaticallychanges your senses: trysomething hot, cool, spicy,crunchy, et cetera. Takenote of how all parts of yourbody react to the sensa-tions, from what you feel onyour tongue to what youhear and smell. Repeat thiswith a different new foodnext week.

___________ Use yourslow cooker. A lot ofmindless eating happens atthe end of long day, whenyou’re tired. Having a

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wholesome meal done andready for you come dinner-time will help keep youfrom reaching for unhealthysnacks or fast foods. Turnon the slow cooker afterbreakfast and you’ll havedinner waiting for you in afew hours.

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Mindful EatingQuotations

Words of wisdom can make a dif-

ference, particularly when you arehaving a challenging day. This collec-tion of timeless advice all speaks tothe same idea—that eating mindfullyis good for your mental and physicalhealth. Make a copy of these pages.Hang them up for inspiration!

“One cannot think well, lovewell, sleep well, if one hasnot dined well.” —VirginiaWoolf

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“Tell me what you eat, and Iwill tell you who you are.”—Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

“Let food be thy medicine,thy medicine shall be thyfood.” —Hippocrates

“Part of the secret of suc-cess in life is to eat whatyou like and let the foodfight it out inside.” —MarkTwain

“Better to eat a dry crust ofbread with peace of mindthan have a banquet in ahouse full of trouble.”—Proverbs

“The more you eat, the lessflavor; the less you eat, the

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more flavor.” —Chineseproverb

“The spirit cannot endurethe body when overfed, but,if underfed, the body can-not endure the spirit.”—Saint Frances de Sales

“The doctor of the futurewill give no medication, butwill interest his patients inthe care of the humanframe, diet and in the causeand prevention of disease.”—Thomas A. Edison

“One should eat to live, notlive to eat.” —BenjaminFranklin

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“When walking, walk.When eating, eat.” —Zenproverb

“The way you cut your meatreflects the way you live.”—Confucius

“Hunger is the best sauce inthe world.” —Cervantes

“He who distinguishes thetrue savor of his food cannever be a glutton; he whodoes not cannot be other-wise.” —Henry DavidThoreau

“We load up on oat bran inthe morning so we’ll liveforever. Then we spend therest of the day living like

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there’s no tomorrow.” —LeeIacocca

“Before eating, always taketime to thank the food.”—Arapaho proverb

“Eat not to dullness, drinknot to elevation.” —Ben-jamin Franklin

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Top Ten MindfulnessMotivators

In this chapter, you will read quick

tips that get right to the heart of beingmindful of your mind, body,thoughts, and feelings. Use this sec-tion as a quick refresher. Keep theselists handy to read over daily.

Ten Ways to PracticeMindfulness of the Mind

1. Observe. Do nothing dif-ferent. Just watch how youeat. Fast? Slow? Sitting?

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Standing? What time is it?Where are you?

2. Take mindful bites.Touch. Taste. Smell. Listen.Zoom in on each mouthful.Where is your mind duringthis bite? Zoned out nottasting a thing? Tuned in toeach bite? Or somewhere inthe middle?

3. Quiz yourself. Ask your-self before eating, “Am Iphysically or emotionallyhungry right now?”

4. Be in the moment. Eat ina different way. Use chop-sticks or your fingers in-stead of a fork. Sit in a dif-ferent seat. Use the

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opposite hand. Choose anew food.

5. Remove distractions.Make one mindful meal aday—eat it without distrac-tion. Turn off the TV. Putyour book or computeraside.

6. Categorize less. Stop us-ing food stereotypes and la-bels to make decisions.Rather than categorizingfood as “good,” “bad,”“should,” “shouldn’t,” con-sciously choose based onfacts not feelings.

7. Identify the origin ofyour hunger. Get to theroot of why you are eating.

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Are you avoidingsomething? Feelingstressed? Are you reallyhungry?

8. Speak compassionatelyto yourself. Be kind. Thiswill help you to be honestwith yourself.

9. Start a food diary. Raiseyour awareness by record-ing what you eat. Take apicture to create a photojournal. Or write it down.

10. Let go of old dietingstrategies. Ask yourselfwith each bite, “Am I eatingmindfully?”

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Ten Ways to PracticeMindfulness of the Body

1. Tune in. When you are sit-ting still, tune in to yourfeet, hands, legs, neck. Dothis during different timesof the day. Notice and ap-preciate what it feels like tobe hungry or full, still ormoving, and so on. Scanyour body. Be well acquain-ted with your body’s differ-ent physical states.

2. Measure your hungerlevel. Check in with yourhunger level several times aday. Ask yourself, “Howhungry am I on a scale from1 to 10?” with 1 being

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starvation and 10 beingcompletely stuffed. Aim fora 5.

3. Breathe. Clear your mind.Take a deep breath. Countto ten as you inhale. Deepbreaths can calm downstress, the kind that leads toemotional eating. Deepbreathing can also shift youout of autopilot and jolt youout of an eating trance.

4. Take cues from yourbody. Listen to your body,not your emotionalthoughts. When you over-eat, your mind may focuson guilt. Tune in to thephysical consequences.Heartburn? Feeling stuffed?

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Tired? You’ll be more mo-tivated to avoid uncomfort-able sensations than guiltythoughts.

5. Dress well. Use your bodyas a helpful tool. Dresscomfortably. Avoid tightclothing (which can triggerguilt and frustration).Dressing up can make youfeel good about yourself,which is a great motivator.

6. Accept it. You don’t haveto love your body, just ac-cept it as it is. As hard as itis, list what you do appreci-ate about your body.

7. Listen to what yourbody is telling you.

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Before each bite, name spe-cific bodily cues that let youknow if you are emotionallyor physically hungry. Stom-ach grumbling? Low en-ergy? Empty feeling?

8. Avoid the Clean PlateClub. Intentionally leave abite or two. Step out of theall-or-nothing mentality.

9. Reassess the scale.Understand your relation-ship with the scale. Somepeople step on the scale toomuch. They use it to reas-sure themselves or as apunishment. Other peopleavoid it, not wanting to beaware of where they are atin terms of weight. Observe

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how you use the scale andhow it impacts your mood.Your favorite clothing canhelp you be aware withoutbeing as triggering as anumber on the scale.

10. Respond to cravingsmindfully. Listen to whatyour body wants. Try towork with your cravings in-stead of fighting them off.Better to eat a small piece ofchocolate mindfully andconsciously with planningthan to try to wrestle awaythe desire and end up over-eating or eating in a mind-less trance.

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Ten Ways to PracticeMindfulness of Feelings

1. Make a trigger list. Writedown the feelings that leadyou to eat. Joy? Stress?Anxiety?

2. Investigate your feel-ings. Ask yourself, “Am Ieating because I am feeling_____?” What do you hopethis food will make youfeel?

3. Creatively express yourfeelings. Tell a friend.Draw a picture. Write aboutyour emotions in a journal.Process your feelings.

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4. Clear your mind. Take adeep breath in through yournose. Exhale. Count to tenas you let air out throughyour lips.

5. Create a metaphor toexplain how you feel.When approaching meal-time, describe your feelingsby saying something like “Ifeel like a squirrel gatheringnuts and hiding them way.”Visualize this metaphor.

6. Assess your dining com-panions. Notice whetheryour relationships hurt orhelp your efforts to eatmindfully. Make sure toavoid copying or mimicking

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the eating habits of thoseyou dine with.

7. Socialize without food.A lot of bonding happensover food. Intentionallybuild in some socializationaway from food. Go to amovie. Take a walk. Hostgame night. Meet for coffee.

8. Put perfection out ofyour mind. Nothing everfeel good enough? Yourbody? Your work? If so, geta handle on perfectionismby finding what is realisticrather than perfect.

9. Beat boredom. Set up aplan for what to do whenyou have five minutes, ten

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minutes, or an hour to fillup—without food. Bespecific.

10. Curb anger. Anger cancause a significant portionof mindless eating. Findsafe outlets for your anger.Call a friend to vent. Walk itoff. Sleep on it.

Ten Ways to PracticeMindfulness of Thoughts

1. Balance thinking versusbeing. Clarify the differ-ence between thinking youare hungry and beinghungry. Notice the differ-ence between thinking youare relaxed and being

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relaxed. Ask yourself, “Am Ithinking that I am hungryor am I being hungry?”

2. Think in shades of gray.Notice when you’ve steppedinto thinking quicksand.This is all-or-nothing think-ing, worrying about theworst-case scenario, andmaking assumptions.Gently point it out toyourself.

3. Have a healthy debate.Imagine your healthythoughts on one shoulderand unhealthy ones on theother. Encourage thethoughts to talk back andforth to each other. Extern-alize the debate about what

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to eat and what not to eat.Use facts not feelings (forinstance, focus on the nutri-tional content versus yourfear).

4. Eat to be content. Worktoward a middle groundbetween the eating ex-tremes—being not full orstarving, just okay. Aim tofeel content.

5. Think “realistic.” Whenyour mind wants to set yourexpectations too high (suchas, “I won’t eat any sweetstoday”), ask yourself, “Whatcan I realistically do?”

6. Choose among yourthoughts. Remember, you

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don’t have to obey everyone of your thoughts.Choose to let some thoughtsgo without thinking aboutthem too much. Let thempass like a car on the high-way speeding past you.

7. Use neutral words.When reacting to food, trynot to use positive or negat-ive words. Stay in a neutralzone by saying words likeokay, acceptable, fine, satis-factory, healthy, and so on,rather than good, bad, aw-ful, love it, hate it.

8. Practice visualizing.Imagery is powerful. Visual-ize yourself often eating in amindful way—passing up

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many treats, walking awayfrom fast food, eatinghealthy snacks. Using im-agery will make it mucheasier to do these thingswhen you attempt them inreal life.

9. Talk back to your innercritic. Internal criticismcan try to rule yourthoughts like a backseatdriver. But criticism andguilt don’t motivate you tochange. Kind words do. Be-ing kind to yourself helpsyou to be honest with your-self and take a candid lookat your behavior. Use com-passionate speech.

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10. Keep your thoughts inthe present. When theywant to gravitate to the fu-ture or the past, bring themback to right now—whatyou are sensing, seeing,feeling, touching, tasting inthis very minute. This canhelp you let go of feelingguilty or worrying that youwill “mess up healthyeating.”

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Who Can Help You toEat Mindfully?

Mastering mindful eating is no

easy task. The more difficult it is foryou to change your eating patternsand your mind-set, the more likely itis that you would benefit from profes-sional assistance. Although friendsand family can be extremely helpful,sometimes talking to them aboutweight issues is tricky. When you talkabout your own weight concerns andfears, it is often difficult for friends orfamily members to be sufficiently de-tached from their own weight fearsand anxieties to really listen to whatyou say.

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If you are unable to change youreating habits independently, or ifmeditating on the issues underlyingyour problem eating brings up over-whelming emotional reactions, it isimportant to seek professional help. Aprofessional can assess what otherfactors need to be addressed. Profes-sional help can be had from psycholo-gists, psychiatrists, physicians,nurses, and nutritionists. A team ofprofessionals is highly recommended.Each professional brings specializedtraining to an aspect of the mind,body, thoughts, or feelings, which,woven together, creates a holistictreatment. A medical professional isparticularly valuable because antide-pressants or other medications arenecessary for some individuals. Lotsof options exist, including in-patienttreatment for those who need to

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dedicate all of their attention at thatmoment.

Fluctuation in caloric intake is dif-ficult on your mind and body. It canseverely interfere with your concen-tration. A professional can tell youhow to regain your focus. It is criticalto seek additional help if you havemood issues or alcohol and/or drugproblems. It is also critical if you arefeeling suicidal, have had a dramaticloss of weight, are experiencing phys-ical symptoms, or are acting impuls-ively. These symptoms are likely toseverely inhibit mindful eating be-cause of competing emotionaldemands.

Essentially, counseling is a way tobreak through your “stuck” thinkingpatterns. It helps you to articulateyour feelings about food, and to

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identify patterns and connect the dotsbetween the significant events in yourlife. As a counselor, I have guidedmany people through overcoming awide range of eating issues. I feelhonored by their trust and that theyallowed me to help them combat theirdifficult problems.

When I think about my own roleas a counselor, I imagine myself as askydiving instructor. I am attached tothe skydiver’s back with an extraparachute just in case hers doesn’topen. I allow the person to decidewhen she is going to jump, and howquickly she wants to open her ownchute. I won’t let her hit the ground,but I encourage all my clients to bemindfully in control. You may beafraid, and that’s okay. I am sharingthis image with you to let you knowthat professionals like me are here to

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help, not to judge, evaluate, or takeaway your control.

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Practical Solutions forEveryday MindlessEating Scenarios

Providing specific instructions on

what to do in difficult moments wasan extremely important part of thisbook for me to write. Typically, myclients gain extraordinary insight intothe origins and meaning of their foodissues when they begin to practicemindful eating. However, they re-peatedly have the same complaint:“What specifically can I do when I’mreally struggling?” The followingscenarios walk you through somehelpful steps. Refer back to the

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respective sections of the book for ex-panded descriptions of skill buildersfor each type of mindless eater.

Scenario 1: MindlessOvereating

You have been sitting alone in front ofyour desk for several hours workingon a project. You begin to think aboutthe stash of chocolate candy hiddenin the bottom of your desk drawer.Instantly, you forget what you areworking on and you can think aboutnothing but chocolate. In the past,opening up the desk drawer has led touncontrolled, mindless eating.

Mindful Solutions

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▪ Pause. Stop everything youare doing (put down yourpen, disconnect the phone)and devote your full atten-tion to this issue.

▪ Breathe. Slow down anddo a quick breathing exer-cise. Focus and becomeaware of your body andyour surroundings. Askyourself what your breath-ing tells you about how youare feeling. Bring your at-tention to your breathing tore-center yourself and to in-crease your awareness.

▪ Question your hunger.Ask yourself, “Am I reallyhungry?” Be mindful of thephysical cues and facts that

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help you decide whetheryou are or not. When wasthe last time you ate? Whatis your body telling you?

▪ Find a different fuel. Ifthe answer is “No, I am nothungry,” investigate yourfeelings. Are you feelingbored by work or anxiousabout the project you areworking on? What is goingon? What else can you do todeal with what you’re feel-ing? Think about whatmight fill you up other thanfood. Will getting up fromyour desk and taking ashort walk help? Is yourbody cramped from sittingstill so long? Do you need tostretch? Would it help to

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call a friend or to talk to acoworker for a fewminutes?

▪ Question your cravings.If the answer is, “Yes, I amhungry,” think about youroptions. Identify what youreally want to eat, and howmuch of it you need to satis-fy your hunger.

▪ Use your senses. Tune into all of your senses as youeat. Be in touch with theprocess of eating and withyour body’s reactions to thefood. Take mindful bites.

▪ Use imagery. You knowthat starting to eat chocol-ate has led to a slippery

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slope of overeating in thepast. Therefore, imagine alarge yellow-and-blackDANGER road sign block-ing the handle of your deskdrawer. Meditate on thatimage.

Scenario 2: MindlessUndereating

You’ve been trying to lose weight andtherefore skipped breakfast thismorning. Your stomach is rumbling,and your head is beginning to throb.Although you would like to eatsomething, many thoughts streamthrough your mind, like “You’re toofat to eat.” You struggle between

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listening to your stomach and thejudgmental voice inside your head.

Mindful Solutions

▪ Don’t wait too longbetween meals. If yourstomach is grumbling, thinkof this as a huge red neonsign flashing, “I need food.”When your stomach makesnoise, that means you’vewaited too long. This putsyou at greater risk of mind-less eating. Stop what youare doing and focus com-pletely on the physical cuesyour body is sending you.Be aware and observe. Takenote of the sensations thatyou are feeling, for nexttime. They will let you know

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you are really hungry.Breathe.

▪ Reconnect. Prevent your-self from going overboard.Carefully make a plan bythinking about what wouldbe good for your body andwhat you need at this mo-ment. Spend time being in-side your body and under-standing what it needs.Watch your thoughts asoutlined in #19, Meditation:Studying Your Body’s CuesMindfully.

▪ Curb judgmentalthoughts. Listen to thecomments going throughyour mind. Notice yourthoughts and feelings as

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you become aware of them.When they occur, labelthem for what they are, as“just a thought” or “just afeeling.” If you are launch-ing a personal attack onyourself, stop and insteadthink about the physicaland emotional con-sequences of your actions.Transform your judgmentallanguage into calm, sooth-ing words. Talk yourselfthrough it.

▪ Be compassionate.Speak kindly to yourself.Consider what you wouldtell someone else. If youhave difficulty being sym-pathetic to yourself, callsomeone who will be.

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Avoiding criticism will helpyou to examine the situ-ation with an open, mindfulstance.

▪ Question what else ishappening. Examine thelarger context of what is go-ing on in this moment.Clearly, you are hungry, butwhat else is going on intern-ally? Think about whathappened in the events sur-rounding this moment.Think first about thepresent moment, and thenthink deeply about yourfeelings in the precedingmoments. What promptedthis struggle?

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▪ Accept yourself. Eatingcan induce many negativefeelings about yourself andyour body. In this moment,acknowledge that at somelevel you simply must ac-cept your body as it is. Youare in control of makingthat choice. You don’t haveto love every aspect of yourbody to respect it and treatit well. Think about how thefood is going to enhancehow well your body func-tions. Your headache willstop. Use imagery to ima-gine where the food willtravel once it is inside.

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Scenario 3: MindlessChaotic Eating

A group of friends get together onenight at your home to watch a movieand eat a pizza. They order your fa-vorite pizza toppings. Everyone is eat-ing several slices, which leads you toeat two more pieces than you typicallywould have eaten. After they leave,you eat another slice, despite not be-ing hungry. You begin to feel the urgeto rid yourself of the heavy pizza andthe too-full feeling.

Mindful Solutions

▪ Forgive and accept.When you lapse back intomindless eating, it may feelas if you are beginning your

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journey all over again or,even worse, that you havecompletely strayed off thepath. This is not true. Onceyou’ve learned about mind-fulness, you won’t forget it.It’s a matter of reapplyingprinciples. At this point,you need to forgive your-self. Most people advocatefor “forgive and forget.”Mindfulness doesn’t dothat. Instead, it urges you to“forgive and accept.” Don’ttry to push away your feel-ings. Accept all that you arefeeling.

▪ Investigate. Feeling toofull is a common reasonpeople get the urge to elim-inate their food. A much

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healthier way to deal withthe uncomfortable feelingsis to dig deeper into thefeelings. Stop and meditateon the emotional compon-ents of your bodily feelings.Getting in touch with yourfeelings will be useful forpreventing overeating nexttime.

▪ Uncover binge triggers.The urge to purge the foodis a quick way of dealingwith the anxiety that isaroused by eating unneces-sary calories. It is importantto be mindful and to medit-ate on the entire evening.What feelings promptedyou to eat mindlessly, par-ticularly after your friends

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left? What tends to triggereating when you aren’t evenhungry? Is this a pattern?

▪ Understand the physic-al consequences. Purgingis instigated by the negativeemotions that arise whenyou realize you ate mind-lessly. Purging is danger-ous. When individuals firstbegin purging, they aremore aware of their negat-ive feelings and their body’sphysical reactions. Overtime, the individual discon-nects from the moment-to-moment discomfort of pur-ging and anticipates feelingbetter, soothed, or relievedthat the extra calories aregone. Acknowledge what

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purging does to your bodyin a nonjudgmental way.

▪ Redirect activity. Theurge to feel better quicklyby purging the food istempting and sometimesfeels difficult to control.Therefore, it is important torefocus your mind on otherthings. Get out of the house.Take a walk, listen to music,or visit someone. Find asoothing activity to engagein that will help you reduceyour anxiety about the en-tire experience.

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Scenario 4: SteppingBack in the Midst of

TemptationYou are in your kitchen and arewrestling with the temptation toreach for a bag of cookies sitting onthe shelf. You think, “I just want onetaste.” But you fear you may eat thewhole bag.

Mindful Solutions

▪ Step back: Imagine your-self actively taking a stepback from the situation.Why is stepping back im-portant? When stressed oroverwhelmed, people tendto revert to autopilot. Thismeans eating or behaving in

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their habitual way. Essen-tially, you react automatic-ally rather than investigat-ing all the pertinent andcritical information. Step-ping back helps you to ob-tain, thoughtfully and con-sciously, all the informationyou need to identify an ar-ray of solutions. Steppingback is carefully respondingwith diligent thought ratherthan robotically reacting.Identify how you would typ-ically react.

▪ Say it. Describe aloud whatis happening to you both in-ternally and externally. Usedetail, description, and lotsof adjectives. Rely on yoursenses: sight, smell, sound,

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taste, and touch. Use vividdetails, as if you were de-scribing the scene tosomeone with his eyesclosed. For example, say, “Ireally want a cookie. I’m inthe kitchen standing infront of the cabinet. I amafraid I am going to overeatand finish all the cookies inthe box. I feel nervous, andmy hands are shaking. I’msweating with anxiety, andI’m pacing around becauseI don’t know what to do.”

▪ Involve your sixthsense. The sixth and mostimportant sensory organ isyour mind. Describe whatyou are feeling and think-ing. Think about the

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situation objectivelywithout inserting any judg-mental statements. Don’tdistort the description withstatements that what ishappening is “bad” or“wrong.” Be compassionatewith yourself. For instance,say, “I feel really hungry,and I am frustrated. This isa really tough situation forme. In the past, I know, thiskind of situation has endedup with me feeling reallybad. It’s okay to feel thisway.”

▪ State what you want.Verbalizing clearly is liketranslating a foreign text in-to your own language. Readthe situation, pause, and

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describe it using your ownwords. For example, say, “Iwant to eat a cookie, but Idon’t want to binge or over-eat. How do I feel? Thisreally stinks!”

▪ Think ahead. Describeyour options. Considerevery scenario. You mightsay, “I could binge. Or Icould leave the room, eatsomething else, have onecookie and stop, callsomeone, watch TV, or gofor a walk.”

▪ Describe your choice.Make a decision. Visualizethat decision. Imagine car-rying out your decision.Then say it aloud, such as “I

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will eat just one and leavethe kitchen to prevent my-self from eating too many.”Close your eyes and pictureyourself walking out of theroom.

▪ Let go. Describe what youneed to release. You mightsay, “I may not feel com-pletely satisfied in the mo-ment, but I will feel betterabout myself after the urgesubsides.”

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Resources

Mindfulness Websitesdukeintegrativemedi-cine.org

Duke Integrative Medicinemindfulness classes, work-shops, and seminars.

eatingmindfully.com

Mindful eating tools, eventinformation, free handouts, anewsletter, and research in-formation. Great for the gen-eral public and for therapists.

I announce my speakingevents and workshops on thissite.

emindful.com

A company that haspartnered with some of theworld’s leading researchers inthe rapidly growing field ofmindfulness. Health and well-ness services listed.

eomega.org

Through innovative educa-tional experiences thatawaken the best in the humanspirit, Omega provides hopeand healing for individualsand society.

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www.fitwoman.com

Green Mountain offers anintelligent, pragmatic, non-diet program developed dur-ing four decades of workingwith women in order to helpthem find and maintain theirnatural, healthy weight.

geneenroth.com

Geneen Roth is the authorof eight groundbreaking, in-spiring books on compulsiveeating and perpetual dieting.

www.intuitiveeating.org

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The web companion to In-tuitive Eating, by Evelyn Tri-bole, MS, RD, and ElyseResch, MS, RD, FADA. Innov-ative, groundbreaking ap-proach for balanced eating.

www.kripalu.org

Yoga and mindfulness re-treats for beginners and ad-vanced individuals.

marc.ucla.edu

University of CaliforniaLos Angeles Mindful Aware-ness Research Center. Down-load free meditations, mind-fulness research, andresources.

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mindful.org

A website dedicated to giv-ing voice, inspiration, guid-ance, and connection to allthose who want to enjoy theproven benefits of mindful-ness practices and to create amore mindful and caringsociety.

www.mindfuleating.net

Basic overview and in-formation on mindful eating.

www.mindfulness-solu-tion.com

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Free mindfulness medita-tions, downloads, events, andprograms by Dr. RonaldSiegel, a well-known mindful-ness instructor and professorat Harvard Medical School.

www.mindfulselfcompas-sion.org

Site by Dr. ChristopherGermer that offers mindful-ness and self-compassion re-sources, downloads, andtraining events.

mindlesseating.org

Site for the book MindlessEating: Why We Eat MoreThan We Think. Learn about

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Dr. Brian Wansink’s award-winning academic research onchanging eating behaviors.Resources and strategies tohelp you eat better are listed.

newharbinger.com

Help end the triggers ofmindless eating by readingsome of New Harbinger’shundreds of quality self-helpbooks written by qualifiedprofessionals.

www.savorthebook.com

Web companion to Savor:Mindful Eating, Mindful Lifeby Thich Nhat Hanh and Lili-an Cheung.

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slowfoodusa.org

Slow Food USA is part of aglobal, grassroots organiza-tion with supporters in morethan 150 countries who be-lieve that food and farmingshould be sources of healthand well-being for everyone.

tcme.org

TCME is a forum for pro-fessionals across all discip-lines interested in developing,deepening, and understand-ing the value and importanceof mindful eating.

www.umassmed.edu/cfm/index.aspx

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The Center for Mindful-ness in Medicine, HealthCare, and Society is a vision-ary force and global leader inmind-body medicine.

www.yogajournal.com

New to yoga? Visit this sitefor a good introduction andfor your continued practice.

www.zendust.org/zco/chozen-and-hogen-bays

Mindful Eating author JanChozen Bays is a teacher forthe Zen Community of Oregonand a pediatrician.

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Healthy EatingReferences

Resources to help you learn about nu-trition, food safety, and obesity.

www.choosemyplate.org

www.cnpp.usda.gov/diet-aryguidelines.htm

www.eatright.org

www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource

navigator.tufts.edu

www.nutrition.gov

www.thenutrition-source.org

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www.yaleruddcenter.org

Eating DisorderReferences

www.aedweb.org

An international organiza-tion the supports research andtreatment of eating disorders.

edreferral.com

Look here to find referralsto dieticians, therapists, andphysicians who specialize ineating issues.

www.bulimia.com

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A bookstore for qualitybooks and resources on eatingissues. The site also has in-formation on treatmentcenters.

iaedp.com

The International Associ-ation of Eating Disorders Pro-fessionals provides qualityeducation and high-leveltraining standards to an inter-national multidisciplinarygroup of various health-caretreatment providers and help-ing professions, who treat thefull spectrum of eating dis-order problems.

www.nationaleatingdisorders.org

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A national organizationthat supports and raises fundsfor prevention and treatmentof eating disorders.

www.something-fishy.org

General information on eat-ing disorders and dis-ordered eating.

www.webmd.com

Find information on eatingdisorders and eatingproblems.

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Books

Albers, Susan. 2011. But I DeserveThis Chocolate: The 50 MostCommon Diet-Derailing Excusesand How to Outwit Them. Oak-land, Calif.: New Harbinger.

Albers, Susan. 2003. Eat, Drink andBe Mindful. Oakland, Calif.: NewHarbinger.

Albers, Susan. 2009. 50 Ways toSoothe Yourself without Food.Oakland, Calif.: New Harbinger.

Albers, Susan. 2006. Mindful Eating101. New York: Routledge.

Altman, Don. 1998. Art of the InnerMeal: Food for Thought and

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Spiritual Eating. Los Angeles:Moon Lake Media.

Bays, Jan Chozen. 2009. MindfulEating: A Guide to Rediscover-ing a Healthy and Joyful Rela-tionship with Food. Boston:Shambhala.

Brantley, Jeffrey, and Wendy Mill-stine. 2009. Five Good Minutesin Your Body: 100 MindfulPractices to Help You AcceptYourself and Feel at Home inYour Body. Oakland, Calif.: NewHarbinger.

Fain, Jean. 2011. The Self-Compas-sion Diet: A Step-by-Step Pro-gram to Lose Weight withLoving-Kindness. Boulder, Colo.:Sounds True.

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Goodall, Jane. 2005. Harvest forHope: A Guide to Mindful Eat-ing. New York: Warner.

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Susan Albers, PsyD, is a psycholo-gist at the Cleveland Clinic FamilyHealth Center who specializes in eat-ing issues, weight loss, body imageconcerns, and mindfulness. After ob-taining masters and doctorate de-grees from the University of Denver,Albers completed an internship at theUniversity of Notre Dame in SouthBend, IN, and a post-doctoral fellow-ship at Stanford University. She con-ducts mindful eating workshopsacross the United States andinternationally.

Albers is author of 50 Ways toSoothe Yourself Without Food; Eat,Drink, and Be Mindful; Mindful Eat-ing 101, and But I Deserve ThisChocolate! Her work has been fea-tured in many media publications in-cluding O, the Oprah Magazine;Shape; Prevention; Vanity Fair; andthe Wall Street Journal, and sheblogs for the Huffington Post andPsychology Today. Albers has been afeatured expert on many radio andtelevision shows, including Dr. Ozand various programs on CNN andNPR.

A member of the Academy forEating Disorders and the Internation-al Association of Eating Disorder Pro-fessionals, she enjoys blogging, jog-ging, watching the Sundance Chan-nel, and traveling. Visit Susan Albersonline at www.eatingmindfully.com.

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Foreword writer Lilian Cheung,DSc, RD, is a lecturer and director ofhealth promotion and communica-tion in the department of nutrition atthe Harvard School of Public Health.She is a coinvestigator at the HarvardPrevention Research Center on Nutri-tion and Physical Activity, cocreatorof the school-based program, EatWell & Keep Moving, and founderand editorial director of The Nutri-tion Source website, www.thenutri-tionsource.org. Cheung is also coau-thor of Be Healthy! It’s a Girl Thing,and Savor: Mindful Eating, MindfulLife www.savorthebook.com.

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