DDRR.. IIVVAANN KKEENNNNEEDDYY C o u n s e l l o r & P s y c h o t h e r a p i s t

Based on work of I. Kennedy (2019)

PhD Education, BSc Psychology, DipHE Counselling Tel 085 147 3040 Email kennedy.ivan@gmail.com

www.kennedycounselling.com

Self Care

Self Care can be defined as our own personal behaviours, processes, or activities that help us to improve or

maintain our own well-being on various levels. These include:

Emotional: enhancing emotional intelligence, working through emotions, harnessing empathy, managing stress, developing compassion for others and self;

Psychological: learning, creating, mindfulness, awareness of the costs and benefits of own thinking, choices, and motivations;

Environmental: organising, cleaning, and maintaining working, living, and transport areas, clean clothes, minimising waste and screen time;

Physical: awareness and honouring health, hygiene, nutrition, sleep, rest, movement, touch, sex; Financial: responsibility with and aware of own living expense, income, savings, investments, etc.; Professional: sharing abilities and strengths, having clear boundaries, purpose, drive and ambition; Social: having supportive, trustful, dependable, friends, family, partners to help with needs for love and

belonging, fun, and freedom; and Spiritual: having guiding, informative, and important beliefs and values

Many self care activities are easy to do and natural and may even be part of our daily routines; other self care

activities that could help might be hard to do, elusive, or beyond our considerations, experiences, or current

capabilities: either way (easy or hard), we can all do with tweaking, improving, and/or adding new ways to care

for ourselves.

Self care is a balanced life and the care we choose to provide ourselves is unique to us; it doesn’t have to be

extravagant and it can be basic; it develops over time and is fluid depending on circumstances or needs. Whilst

self care does require planning (as it doesn’t just happen), over time we develop our own rhythms and routines

and harness our own awareness to help to implement and identify more particular forms of self-care that

works. A key point is: maintain awareness of what really matters in life—and don’t forget that you matter too.

Often, we can de-prioritise, overlook, or simply lose focus on that which we find fun, wholesome, or restorative

and instead focus attention and energies on other necessities or responsibilities, get distracted from what really

is important, or get stressed by the demands in life (and ironically reduce self care behaviour which would help

us de-stress and cope); or perhaps we deny ourselves the very things that enrich our lives and give meaning and

do so for reasons known or unknown. Some of us deny ourselves things that refuel us as we focus on other

people’s needs thinking, perhaps, that “it is selfish or self-centred to take care of my needs when I could be

taken care of someone else’s needs”, (e.g., children, partner, friends) and such could be done with or without

conscious awareness.

It is important to recognise where we might fail to maintain self care in certain areas of our lives, and why we

do so too. The aim of the checklist and worksheet below is to help us focus attention on certain areas of life

whereby self care can help us maintain our own well-being and quality of life.

Although self-care is unique to each person, consider this checklist that might help:

Get enough sleep Get enough exercise Get more fun and joy Get more time with friends and family Get a balanced, nutritious diet Do some relaxation techniques Do at least one nice thing daily for you Explore areas of your life that you might need to improve Seek advice in areas of life that you might need to improve

DDRR.. IIVVAANN KKEENNNNEEDDYY C o u n s e l l o r & P s y c h o t h e r a p i s t

Answer all questions quickly and as honestly as possible. T=True, N=Neither true nor False, F=False. Pay particular attention to items answered False.

Based on work of I. Kennedy (2019)

PhD Education, BSc Psychology, DipHE Counselling Tel 085 147 3040 Email kennedy.ivan@gmail.com

www.kennedycounselling.com

Guide to Understanding my Self Care

Item T N F Item T N F Item T N F

Emotional Physical Social

I do fun things I do health check-ups regularly I spend enough quality time with friends

I take time to ground myself I eat healthy I spend quality time with my partner

I find reasons to laugh and have fun I eat regularly I spend enough quality time with family

I express my feelings in a healthy manner I exercise well I have fun with other people

I do healthy things that comfort me I feel good in the clothes that I wear I have stimulating chats with people

I talk about my problems I rest when I am unwell I trust the people I spend time with

I talk about my strengths I sleep well I connect with friends/family far away

I find ways to improve my compassion for myself I maintain my health I share the real me with other people

I manage stress well I take care of my personal hygiene I ask for help from people when needed

I face and explore my emotions I am happy with my physical self-care I like to meet new people

Psychological Financial Spiritual

I learn new things in work I am responsible with my living expenses I pray and/or meditate

I learn new things unrelated to work I am responsible with my income I spend time in silence and/or reflection

I practice mindfulness/relaxation activities I am responsible with my savings I spend time in nature

I recognise my own strengths I am responsible with my investments I align my actions with values/beliefs

I explore and improve on my strengths I am responsible with my insurances I act on what gives me meaning

I recognise my own weaknesses I know where and when money comes in I engage with art that resonates with me

I explore and improve on my weaknesses I set fair and realistic financial goals I contribute to a thing bigger than me

I am aware of the consequences of my actions and choices I fulfil financial care with my partner I am aware of things I’m grateful for

I participate in hobbies I don’t worry about money I do things that make me feel alive

I am aware of what my motivations are I complete my tax affairs on time I tap into my creativity

Environmental Professional Areas to focus on are:

My personal living areas are clean I say “no” to unfair demands/requests

My personal living areas are organised and maintained well I take on work that is interesting/rewarding

My personal work areas are clean I improve my skills

My personal work areas are organised and maintained well I work with my strengths

My personal transport areas are clean I improve on my weaknesses

My personal transport areas are organised, and maintained well I have clear boundaries

My personal clothes are clean I advocate for fair pay, rewards, conditions

My work clothes are clean and/or maintained as appropriate I have connections with people that I work

I minimise waste of my stuff to my satisfaction I take fair work breaks daily/yearly

I minimise screen time to my satisfaction I have a clear idea of my drive/ambitions