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ABSTRACT

DOCUMENT RESUME

PS 024 048

Karnofnky, Florence; Weiss, TrudyHow To Prepare Your Child for Kindergarten.ISBN-0-86653-932-893

82p.

Fearon Teacher Aids P.O. Box 280, Carthage, IL 62321(Catalog No. FE-0932).Guides Non-Classroom Use (055)

MFOI/PC04 Plus Postage.Communication Skills; *Early Experience;Interpersonal Competence; *Kindergarten; LanguageAcquisition; *Parent Role; *Parents as Teachers;Prereading Experience; *Preschool Children; PreschoolEducation; Reading Readiness; Rewards; SchoolEntrancl. Age; *School Readiness; Separation Anxiety;Social Acijustment; Social Behavior; StudentAdjustment; Writing Readiness

Intended as a guide to help parents :...f r.hildren from

birth to age 5 teach their children the skills needed to makekindergarten a experience, this book consists of an introduction andseven chapters on various aspects of preparing young children forkindergarten. Checklists for parents are included in each chapter.The Introduction discusses what parents need to know about themselvesand about kindergarten. Chapter 1 describes eight things parents needto know to bring out the best in their child. Chapter 2 discusseswhat every child should be able to communicaty before enteringkindergarten. Chapter 3 lists and describes the large and small motorskills children need to succeed in kindergarten, while chapter 4describes the social and emotional skills that will make kindergarteneasy for children. Chapter 5 describes early learning activities and

chapter 6 suggests sElf-help ...'.ills that make kindergarten enjoyablefor children. The last chapter deals with making decisions aboutkinderp.irten entrance age and preparing the child for the separationon the first day of school. A parent information form, a checklist ofchildren's behaviors and habits, and a list of fun books to read withchildren conclude the volume. (DR)

* Reproductions supplied by EDRS are the best that can be madefrom the original document.

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.1

How to Prepare Your Child

FOR KINDERGARTENby Florence Karnofsky and Trudy Weiss

Fearon Teacher AidsA Paramount Communications Company

Editorial Director: Virginia L. Murphy

Editor: Virginia Massey Bell

Copyeditor: Kristin Eclov

Cover Design: Lucyna GreenDesign: Teena Remer

Entire contents copyright © 1993 byFearon Teacher Aids, a ParamountCommunications Company.

ISBN 086653-932-8

Printed in the United States of America

1. 9 8 7 6 5 41

AcknowledgmentsIllustrations in this book were drawn by the children at

Nathan Hale Elementary School in Lansing, Illinois.

We'd like to acknowledge the following for his support:

Durward Schuetz, SuperintendentSunnybrook School District #171

Lansing, IL

We'd also like to thank Carol Crum, Early-Childhood Specialist, Nathan Hale ElementarySchool, Lansing, IL, for her suggestions in the

preparation of the manuscript.

DedicationThis hook is dedicated to the many children who

taught us so much over the years.

1, I

3

4

About the Authors

Trudy Weiss spent eighteen years teachingin grades one through eight, two years

as a teacher of learning disabled children,and three years as a curriculum coordinator.

She has also coauthored several articlesfor several teacher magazines.

Florence Karnofsky has taught elementary childrenin Indiana and Pennsylvania for twenty-five years,

specializing in the areas of science and social studies.

CONTENTS

O Introduction. 6What You Need to Know About Yourself

h Chapter 1. 10""Nt' Eight Things You Need to Know

to Bring Out the Best in Your Child

triit Chapter 2. 20What Every Child Should Be Able toCommunicate Before Entering Kindergarten

41 Chapter 3.The Large and Small Motor Skills YourChild Needs to Succeed in Kindergarten

el Chapter 4.-K9 The Social and Emotional Skills

That Make Kindergarten Easy

h Chapter 5."re Early-Learning Activities

/3 Chapter 6.Self-Help Skills That MakeKindergarten Easy

Chapter 7.Separation Day

28

39

44

60

67

5

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOWABOUT YOURSELF

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOWABOUT YOURSELF

From the day your child isborn, you are the mostimportant teacher yourchild will ever have. Noprofessional teacher willever have as muchinfluence as you do. Youteach through your actions,what you say, and how youplay. Language, drinkingfrom a cup, eating solidfoods, using a toilet, andhand washing are learnedfrom you. Your child learnssmiling, singing, listening,politeness, and catchinga ball from you, too. Withevery word you say, gameyou play, smile or hugyou give, you are teachingyour child.

YOUR ATTITUDES ANDVALUES BECOME YOURCHILD'S ATTITUDESAND VALUES

Most of your child's attitudesarc learned from you. Youtcach not only by what yousay, b by how you act aswell. Your child can learncheerfulness if you are acheerful person. If your

6

conversation is lively, full ofideas, your child will acceptnew ideas. Frustrationshandled with anger by youwill be learned by yourchild, too. Eventuallythese attitudes are broughtto school.

In addition, you teach yourchild the values youembrace. Your child learnshonesty by knowing thatyour own words can betrusted. When you showkindness to someone inneed, your child learnsconcern for others. Yourchild learns there are limitson behavior when you lethim or her know there arecertain rules you expectto be obeyed. A love oflearning is passed on toyour child, too. Eventuallyyour child brings thesevalues to school.

KINDERGARTEN TODAY

Parents are naturally anxiousfor their child to get thebest possible start whenentering kindergarten.Picture the first morning ofschool, when after yearsof dependency on you, yourchild will have to be self

reliant. You can prepareyour child to make thebig changes necessary tobe happy and successfulin school.

Kindergarten is a moreformal learning placethan home. Today, inkindergarten, childrenlearn specific skills. Theyare taught to print, torecognize and usenumbers, to tell stories,to work independently andin groups. More and morecommunities are givingskills tests before admittingchildren to kindergarten.By knowing what skillsare expected, you can helpyour child be prepared.This book will help youdo just that.

Preparing your child forkindergarten requiresforethought andinvolvement on your part.This takes time, but notexcessive amounts. Manyof the skills needed canbe taught casually at thedinner table, while youare driving, or whileputting your child to bedat night. The reward foryour effort is a child who

makes or:c of th f! biggestchanges in his or her lifeequipped to succeed. Forthe small amount of timeyou invest, you can helpprotect your child fromunhappiness and failureat school.

How to Prepare Yourchild for Kindergarten isa guide for teaching theskills needed to makekindergarten a happy timefor your child. Based onour fifty plus years ofcombined experience asteachers, we havedetermined many specificbehaviors that will helpchildren make a stress-freeadjustment to kindergarten.These skillsareindicators ofreadinessandprospectsforsuccess.

7

ALL CHILDREN AREDIFFERENT

A word of caution. Theseskills are not intended to betaught at a specific age.A child cannot learn a skilluntil he or she is ready.Do not push or force yourchild. Children learn whenthere is physical and mentalreadiness.

Children differ in theirphysical, mental, and socialgrowth. Often we haveobserved two-year-oldswith social skills offive-year-oldsand

six-year-olds with the smallmotor skills of youngerchildren. This is common. Ifyour child does not mastera particular task by apredetermined age, such ashop on one foot at fouryears, for example, wait untilhe or she is five. If yourchild cannot assemble anest of blocks at 18 months,wait until he or she is two.When you sense that thereis readiness, provide many

opportunities for your childto learn skills in the happy,natural way you taught

talking, playing,and eating.

Most of 211, bepatient

teacher.When

enteringkindergarten,your childneed nothave masteredevery skill on

thc lists includedin this book.

Your child mayexcel at one and

have difficulty withanother. Remember,

every bit of unstressfulpractice is a steptoward mastery.

8

T ABOUT COST?

Preparing your child forkindergarten does not needto be expensive. Millions ofchildren are marvelouslysuccessful without parentsspending more than anoccasional few dollars forcrayons, drawing paper,picturebooks, and a fewgames. Nor dollars, butknowing what to do,coupled with interest andinvolvement is at the heartof the matter. Even if yourchild is in a formalpreschool, what you do athome will have thc greatest

effecton yourchild'sreadinessfor kindergarten.

We can honestly say thatafter conferences with overa thousand parents, wehave never met a parentwho did not want to do hisor her best. Knowing whatto do makes the difference.How to Prepare Your Childfor Kindergarten gives youthis information.

9

.0°

CHAPTER 1EIGHT THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW TO

BRING OUT THE BEST IN YOUR CHILD

On the first day of school,when children arrive in theclassroom, a teacher canquickly tell somethingabout their personalities.Some children will lookyou in the eye and give youa sweet smile. Others aretoo shy or fearful to evenlook at you. They stare atthe floor or cling to a parent.Some children immediatelyinvestigate the tois in zheroom, while others sit timid-ly at a table, quietly waitingfor something to happen. A

few start conversations withtheir neighbors. Howchildren behave is a clueto how they feel aboutthemselves. Your child'sself-image has much to dowith how well he or she willsucceed in kindergarten.

In this chapter re eightrules for you to foilow tobring out the best in yourchild. Copy each of themon a sticky-note and attachthem to your refrigeratoras reminders.

10

1. Take Time for Love2. Kind Words Work Wonders

3. Don't Try Too Hard or Too Early

4. Rewards Win Results

5. We Learn by Doing

6. Repetition Reaps Results

7. Learning Is ajoy8. Sometimes Questions Are

Better Than Answers

1.TAKE TIME FOR LOVE

Recently, a granddaughtersaid to her grandmother,"Grandma, you alwaysend your letters with'Grandpa and I miss youand we love you verymuch.'"

"Would you like me tochange that?" asked thegrandmother. "I couldthink of a new ending."

"No," the little girl said."I like this one."

Two-year-old Trevon isgrocery shopping withhis dad after being atpreschool all day. Trevonis tired and hungry andhe is making a fuss bythe candy rack. Trevon'sdad could speak harshly,but instead, he picks upTrevon and holds him.He tells Trevon softly thathe understands how tiredand hungry Trevon is andthat they'll be home soon.Trevon feels loved andcared for and quietsdown a little.

Four-year-old Amy runsto her mother for helpwith a shoe buckle. Hermother smiles and hugsher, then pulls the strapso the pin can go into thehole. She tells Amy thatshe can finish buckling the

shoe now, which Amyhappily does. Amy feelsboth loved and successful.She knows there are manythings she can do forherself, but if she needsa little help, she's able toask for it.

You can't tell yourchildren too often thatyou love them or thatK. think they arewonderful. Even childreneight or nine years old orolder like '.0 sit on aparent's lac to besqueezed !ittle, and tolisten to lo$ ing words.How do the love and hugsrelate to kindergarten?Childrer who feel lovedfeel good aboutthemsel yes. They feel thatnot only their parents,but the teacher and thechildren will like them,too. When children havea good self-image, theyapproach learning withmore confidence.

Love, quoting the oldEnglish proverb, makesthe world go round. flowtrue that is of a child'sworld. In the 1990's home,time is a scarcity. Manychildren live in homes inwhich both parents (orthe single parent) areworking. There arcn'tmany free minutes

1 1

12

available to just sit andlovingly hold your child.But remember thatlove is more importantthat a clean kitchen or amade-up bed. Take thetime to give your child lotsof hugs, kisses, and kindwords to let your childknow how much youlove him or her.

2. KIND WORDSWORK WONDERS

Time after time, itamazed us to see howpositively children inour classroomsresponded to praise.Without having anypurpose in mind, ateacher complimenteda boy named Elliot."Elliot," the teacher said,"I do like the way youcleaned your desktop.It looks so ready forwork."Immediately,every childin the roomwas jammingcrayons intoboxes andbooks andpapers into desks.

Kind words workwonders! Weshould use them on

every possible occasion.Sometimes we think toourselves, "That was fLollynice of Helena to give hertruck to Andy" or "She atewith her spoon very neatlytoday." Tell your child thepositive things you noticeabout the way he or sheis learning and changingevery day. When you givepraise, you are teachingthat "sharing" is good. Youare teaching that "eatingneatly" is desirable.Most importantly, you are

teaching your child tolike him or herself.

Jack's mother tellshim how wonderfulit is that he is tryingto tie his own shoes.Since he's a beginner

at this, she'll help Jackpull the shoe strings

tight enough, if hewants some help. Eventhough he isn't ready to

tackle this task""'..completely onhis own,he feels

proud of hisaccomplishments

and will keep workingon this skill.

Andrea is pokingholes in the dirtwith her finger forthc seeds

she and her dad areplanting. "Those areperfect holes for theseeds, Andrea," her dadtells her. Andrea lovesgardening time!

Miguel doesn't want tostop playing in order toset the table, but hisparents insist that hehelp out with dinner. Hehas one place settingcompleted and he is stillscowling. Miguel's motherwalks by and complimentshim on the fine job he isdoing. Miguel's attitudechanges instantly to oneof pride and he happilyfinishes setting thewhole table.

As teachers, we felt it wasimportant to go to anylength to avoid speakingnegatively to a childwho was having difficultylearning. Matthew'sdrawing may be smeary,his paper torn, but it isdesperately necessary tofind something good tosay about his work.Children, like adults, havefeelings, too. To say,"Matthew, your paper isso messy. Look! You'veeven torn it. Look hownice Peter's paper is,"accomplishes little.Matthew's self-image hasbeen severely bruised.

He feels ridiculed,ashamed, incompetent,discouraged, and angry.With these painfulemotions churning insidehim, will Matthew make abetter drawing next time?Absolutely not! Being sodiscouraged, he mostlikely will crumple hispaper into a ball beforehe is half way throughthe drawing.

What are some kind waysof responding to a messy,torn picture? What wordswould be supportive andbolster a child's ego?

"Will you tell me whatyour drawing is about?"

"I like this area in thecorner very much. Youhave a good strongcolor there."

"I can see you are trying.Can you tell me how youwould like to change yourdrawing next time?"

Instead. of "You're wrong"or "You didn't do itright" or "Can't you dobetter than that?" trythese statcments:

"That was a good try."

"That is difficult. Let's doit together. I want topractice, too."

1 513

"That's great. I'll bet youcan do it even better thenext time."

You gather more beeswith honey than withvinegar. It's an old saying,but it is true when talkingto children. As you teachyour child the skills inthis book, be positive.Be encouraging. Don'tshow disappointment atfailure. To bring outthe best in your child,remember that kindwords work wondt,rs.

3. DON'T TRY TOO HARDOR TOO EARLY

The danger of devisinglists of skills, such as wehave in this book, is that

on the first day ofkindergarten,

you mightmistakenlyfeel thatevery skillmust havebeenmasteredby yourchild.Complete

mastery ofevery skill by a

child is a rarity. It isvery important toremember that youcan't teach your childanything until there is areadiness for learning.

14

Children are unique, withdifferent personalities,different strengths, anddifferent weaknesses.Introduce new skillswhen you observephysical and mentalgrowth that demcnstratesyour child is ready.

It's normal for parentsto make comparisonsbetween their ownchildren. It helps toremember that brotheris different from brother,sister from sister, andeach sex is different fromthe other. One of ourneighbors has threechildren. Tony, age 2-1/2,can kick a ball 50 feet(15.2m). His uncles, allsoccer players, let himplay on the field withthem. Megan, age 5,cannot kick a ball as wellas Tony, but she has thepatience for drawing, forfiguring out words in thenewspaper, and beingable to climb almostanything. Bennie, age3-1/2, is neither athleticnor artistic He enjoysplaying with otherchildren. Alv-ady, hedemonstrates social skills,such as sharing his toys,leading his playmates intheir pretend games, andcaring whcn a playmatefeels hurt or angry.

1.1.

A

As you help your childget ready for kindergarten,remember that yourgoal is not to raise asuperchild. Jenna hasdifficulty rememberingher family's home addressand telephone number.Her mother wisely decidesto drop it for a fewmonths and tryteaching this infor-mation later. Zachas difficultyhopping on oneleg. He wants toplease his parents, butthis skill is very frustratingfor him and he may notbe physically ready.Rather than continuingto push Zac, his daddecides to come back tohopping, later. Skills arelearned best if they arenot turned into lessons.Introduce skills naturallyin small doses, reinforcingfrom time to time throughcasual conversationsand play.

earned four coupons. Thechildren never quite knewwhat behavior or whentheir behavior would earncoupons. On Fridays theytraded their coupons forrewards: ten coupons fora fancy eraser; twenty-fivecoupons for stickers; thirtycoupons for a superball.

foorevMilooloCoo .r,,e,.;-gevolorew.'"

,Ca.'.

.40

4. REWARDS WIN RESULTS

When we were teachers,the children in ourclassrooms earnedcoupons. A neat deskearned two coupons; aquestion from a childmay have earned threecoupons; an act ofkindness to another child

.!

Terry was on her bestbehavior all week andearned thirty coupons. Sheproudly traded all of hercoupons for a favoritesuperball.

Blaine had troublekeeping his hands tohimself. He was constantlyannoying other children.The teacher showed theclass some colorful stick-ers which Blaine decidedhe really wanted. He madea great effort to change hisbehavior and was able toearn the stickers. lie wasso proud of his successthat he was able to keephis hands to himself inthe future.

Rcwards arc for behaviorswe want to encouragePsychologists call it posi-tive reinforcement. A small

15

reward reinforces thedesired behavior. Therewards are not bribes,since the children receivethem after the act, notbefore. At school, rewardsare astonishingly effective.They cause children toprint neatly, to rememberto bring back permissionslips that were sent home,to avoid interrupting

when somconeelse is speaking,

to say "thank you" withoutbeing reminded.

At home, rewards producethe same results. Whenteaching the skillssuggested in this book,set up a reward systemof your own. Rememberthat one of the bestrewards is a smile, a hug,or some encouragingwords from you. Otherrewards can be as simpleas a pretzel or a specialprivilege, such as sittingin the front seat of thecar. They can be as grandas a new pair of sneakersor a trip to a favoriterestaurant.

16

5.WE LEARN BY DOING

Aristotle long ago said,"For the things we haveto learn, we learn bydoing them." Think backto when you learned todrive a car or took up anew sport. No explanationor amount of readingabout the subject wasenough. You needed to go

through the process

OIor procedure

yourself.

We learn to doby doing. You

cannot tell your childwhat five is. Children canlearn about the conceptof five by counting fivebeans, five crayons, orfive windows. Thenthey will have a betterunderstanding of thenumber five. You cannotgive a child a talk on allthe times when theyshould say "thank you."Instead, when you giveyour ch:ld a snack or helphim or her find a missingtoy, remind him or her tosay "thank you."Directions for playing agame, such as 'Candy land,"cannot be fully explained.After a few introductorydirections, you play it andas questions come up, youtalk about them. We learnbest by doing.

lb

To teach Benito newskills, instead ofexplaining, his motherfound ways for Benito toperform the skill. Whenhis mother wanted Benitoto learn the days of theweek, she hung a calendarat his bedside. Each dayBenito crossed off the dayas it passed, repeating thename of the day as he didso. "Good bye, Thursday.Hello, Friday," he wouldsay. When 13enito'smother wanted him toremember a story, sheasked questions, such as:

Who was in the story?

Who did you like in thestory?

Did the story make youfeel happy or sad?

Who would you like to bein the story?

Which story did youlikc best?

Why?

Whatever commentsBenito made, his motherfollowed his answerswith' praise andencouragement.

6. REPETITIONREAPS RESULTS

Skills are habits and theytake time to form. Thinkback to when you werea child. How many timesdid your mother or fatherhave to remind you tobrush your teeth beforegoing to bed? Howmany times did youforget, sometimes evendeliberately, until thehabit became ingrained?

I labits are behaviors thatare automatic. We don'thave to think about eatingwith a fork or cutting witha knife. We simply do it.Your child mastcrs a skillwhen he or she doesn'thave to t!-,ink about it.\umbers from 1 to 100are rattled offor a jacket

17

is hung up without beingtold. Shoes are tiedwithout asking for help."Thank you" is saidwithout reminding yourchild. This kind of masterycomes with repetition. Butthat same repetition canbe both harmful and bene-ficial. It is harmful if it isdone against your child'swill or if the skill is toodifficult. Repetition isharmful if your child feelspressured or if you areimpatient. On the otherhand, repetition isbeneficial if used withkind v.ords and rewardedwhen merited. Remember,repetition reaps resultswhen learning is fun andthe task is within thechild's capability.

Remember, too, thatyoung children have shortattention spans. If you areteaching your child todraw a circle, he or shemay only want to draw itonce or twice. If Vanbecomes impatient, stop.Later, at lunch time,circles can be drawn onthe paper napkin to makeit pretty or he can circlebirthdays and big eventson a calendar. If Van isunwilling to sit through astory that you are reading,next time try a shorterstory with more pictures.

Decrease the amount ofreading and increase theconversation.

7. LEARNING IS A JOY

Do you remember whenyour baby spoke his orher first words? What ahappy occasion! Learningoccurred and it wasreinforced with love,kind words, and smiles.That is how learningshould be-so joyousthat it encourages thelearner to want to learnmore. Carmen has beenpracticing her counting.She calls her dad to showhim 31.,e can count tenblocks without a mistake.Her proud dad picks herup happily, smiles, and

hugsher.

18 9 0

ro"

Later Carmen overhearsher dad boasting to aneighbor about heraccomplishment. Shefeels great and wants tocount more objects.

Another tip: Make timefor the fine arts. Learningabout art, music, poetry,history, dance, and theatercan bring joy to yourchild's life. Today everymuseum and public libraryhas programs speciallydesigned to excite yourchild's imagination andmake learning fun.

Learning should be a joyfor children and adults.It opens us to the fullnessof life. It is free andlasting. It's worth morethan all the fancy toys youcan buy. Learning is a giftthat lasts a lifetime.

8. SOMETIMES QUESTIONSARE BETTER THANANSWERS

Sometimes it takes moreinitiative to ask a questionthan to answer one. Thegreat inventions in historyoccurred because peopleasked questions. Whydoes an apple fall downrather than up? Why didpeople get smallpox?How can we get from Oneplace to another faster?

When your child asks aquestion, even before youanswer, give praise forasking.

"That's a good question,Maria."

"That is an interestingquestion, Lewis."

"I'm always pleased whenyou ask questions. Thatshows you're thinking."

From these types ofresponses, the messageyour child gets is this:Thinking is good. It's okayto ask questions when youwant to know something.

Alison asks why theclouds move across thesky. Lindsey asks why theleaves are brown andbreak easily. Kevin askshow trees get so tall.

Asking a question shows ahigh of thinking andreasoning. Unfortunately,some parents discouragequestions with

"I haven't time now."

"Don't bother me, I'mgetting dinner."

"You ask too manyquestions."

Negative responsesdiscourage a child'sdesire to learn.

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20

CHAPTER 2WHAT EVERY CHILD SHOULD BE ABLE TO

COMMUNICATE BEFORE ENTERINGKINDERGARTEN

Talking at home preparesyour child to understandsimilar and more difficultcommunications at school.

In kindergarten, much of thelearning takes place throughtalking. On the opening dayof school, the teacher maysay, "Today, boys and girls,please hang your schoolbags on any hook that youlike. Tomorrow I will giveeach of you your ownspecial hook. Now, I amgoing to ask each of you totell the other boys and girlsyour name and tell them onething about yourself."

If your child has had lots oftalking experiences at home,he or she will understandwhat the teacher said and heor she will know what to do.

A dozen times a day, youprobably make statementsand ask questions similar tothe following.

"No, Annie. No!"

"Annie, what would you liketo wear today?"

"Annie, please bring me thedirty towels from the upstairsbathroom."

"Annie, we need to hurry.You'll be late for school."

"Annie, did you hang upyour pajamas?"

Have you ever thoughtabont how much yourwords actually communicateto your child? In thc firstsentence, you let Annieknow that in your householdthere are rules she mustfollow. You also make itknown that you are the boss.In thc second sentence,you reveal that there aretimes when Annie needs tomake a decision. In thethird, you ask Annie tofollow directions. You alsoshow politeness by saying

"please." In the fourthexample, you convey theidea that we regulate ourlives by time indicated ona clock and that Annieshould adjust her behavioraccordingly. In the fifthsentence, you share twoof your values: orderlinessand responsibility. Throughthese rive commonsituations you have, in fact,communicated valuablelessons to your child.

When talking at home,give your child practice inreceiving and sendinginformation. The moreconversations your child has,the better he or she will beable to follow directions,understand explanations,ask questions when he orshe doesn't understandsomething, express needs,and take part in classdiscussions. These abilitiesbuild self-confidence andbetter equip your child toachieve in school.

WHAT SHOULD YOUTALK ABOUT?

The answer to this questionis simple. Every topic you.feel your child willunderstand is suitable. Talkabout the pictures on cerealboxes, the salad you arepreparing, kinds of breads,ice-cream flavors, relatives,holidays, washing clothes,your work, the telephone,shoes, a can of tomatoes, abag of carrots, an insect onthe sidewalk, flowers, birds.Talk about the mail carrier,the meter reader, the painter,the police officer, the doctor,grandpa, every personwith whom your child hascontact. Talk about how tochange a light bulb, howto plant seeds, how to makesoup, how to dress his orher baby sister or brother,how to set the table, how tofertilize a plant, how to telltime, how to brush teeth,how to drive a car, how topaint a wall, how to dial atelephone number, how tohold a book and turn pages.Whatever you arc thinking,if it is appropriate, say italoud. It is not necessary foryour child to understand

4) ,1 21

22

everything you say or everyidea you express. Withrepetition, your child willeventually learn.

Tyler was with his dad in thedriveway when they had aflat tire.This was not a happyoccasion for Tyler's dad, butit turned into a wonderfullearning experience forthree-year-old Tyler. Hewas able to watch his dadchange the tire from thefront yard. First Tyler's dadhad to get out the jack andspare tire. He had to jack upthe car and take off the lugnuts. The flat tire wasremoved and the spare tireput on. The nuts werereplaced and tightened. Thejack was removed and putback in the trunk. Tyler wasfascinated the whole timebecause his dad told himeverything that was goingon. That evening, Tylercarefully repeated all he hadlearned to his grandmother.

THE BEST TIMESFOR TALKING

Some times are better thanothers for talking. Mealtimeis often one of the best timesfor sharing. There are smells,textures, tastes, cereals,transportation, and nutritionto talk about. Naptime andbedtime are good for talkingabout problems, plans for

24

tomorrow, for readingstories and poems. Drivingin the car is a good timefor discussing what onesees out the window,about traffic, about holidays,and memories. Supermarketsclaim to have 100,000 itemsfor sale. That's 100,000subjects to talk about.

Then there is television. Itis helpful to watch televisionwith your child. No matterwhat the program, you canmake it a pleasant learningtime simply by talking withyour child about what youare viewing.

Television helps childrenvisualize the world in whichwe live and the peoplewho inhabit it. It helps themunderstand how other peoplelive and feel. But withoutthe stimulus of conversation,much of this viewingbecomes detrimental. Withconversation, even commer-cials can be sources forlearning. Communicationis everything!

REPETITION, REPETMON,REPETITION

Don't be disappointed ifyour child doesn't remembera story you rcad or a wordyou explained earlier. Thinkhow many times parentsrepeat "Say 'Mama" or "Say'Daddy" before a baby

finally says these importantwords. Studies show thatadults must hear a word usedabout 15 times before itbecomes part of their work-ing vocabulary. Your childneeds to hear rhymes andstories many times beforeknowing them. Once thctyare learned, your child maywant to hear the same storyor rhyme hundreds of times.Long before your child tiresof it, you'll have the story orrhyme memorized yourself.

FOUR KINDS OFCOMMUNICATION SKILLSYOUR CHILD NEEDS

So far, we have urged thatyou use everyday events andsubjects to teach your childto communicate. As we wrotein the introduction, however,school is a place wherelearning is more formal thanit is in the home. Your childwill benefit from specifickinds of communicationskills before enteringkindergarten.

On the followingpages, we have listedfour categories ofspecific skills.They are:

1. Information YourChild Should KnowAbout I limself orHerself

2. Listening andFollowing Directions

3. Relating Experiences,Expressing Ideas, andAsking Questions

4. Speaking with ReasonableGrammatical Correctnessand Politeness

In each of the lists, theremay be skills your child hasalready mastered. If so,check them off in themastered column. introuuceother skills when you feelyour child is physically andmentally ready. Do not pushor force. Make your child'smastery of these skills asnatural and agreeable as play.It is not necessary for yourchild to have mastered allthe skills in all areas, but themore skills mastered, themore prepared your childwill be for kildergarten. Also,

some of the skills,such as knowing a

telephone number,an address, orsome parts of

the body, need to bereviewed from timeto time so they aren't

forgotten. You" may not want

to actuallycheck off the

items on the lists, butyou will want toreread them fromtime to time to

refresh your memory.

23

24

INFORMATION YOUR CHILD SHOULDKNOW ABOUT HIMSELF OR HERSELF

Skill

Knows first, middle, and last name

r^

Knows age and birthdate

Knows telephone number

Knows address, Includingstreet, city, and state

Knows names of parts of body(eyes, nose, mouth, lips, thumb,finger, knuckle, hips, shoulders,shin, ankle, elbow, thigh, throat, chest)

Knows mother's andfather's first and last names

Knows what kind of work father does

Knows what kind of work mother does

Knows names and agesof brothers and sisters

.1=1.11.101

1

Mastered

LISTENING AND FOLLOWINGDIRECTIONS

Skill Mastered

Can listen attentively when spokento for three or more minutes

Will listen attentively when read tofor five or more minutes

Will listen to and sing songsfor five or more minutes

Can follow a two- or three-stepdirection (close the door and hang upyour coat, for example)

Understands positionsToe, middle, and bottomw.,..,Top aRd-661f6M 'Of pdiiiFront ci-bacii-OT5FokFront and back of roomLeft and right side of bodyLeft and right side of room

Understand, locationsDown and up_Under and on topAcross and overHigh and lowAboie and below

Understands quantitySmall, medium, iargeLew, moreFew, Mthiy,Heavy, light

Recognims common soundsAmbulartc....... ..e..... ......... . .. .....

Rre engineDoorbellAiorm clock or digital alarmCommon animal sounds

Knows days of weekFollows directions promptlyAsks questions if confused

4.1.1111111111 .11111IIMIM

I ) 25

26

RELATING EXPERIENCES, EXPRESSINGIDEAS, AND ASKING QUESTIONS

Skill

Can speak In short sentencesof three or more words

Can give a message fromone person to another

Uses words with correct meaning

is interested in learning new words

Uses new words recently explainedto him or her appropriately

Uses appropriate words to express self

Mastered

Can hold a short telephone conversation

Can describe what he or she Is playing

Can aescribe his or her drawing

Can tell briefly what happened ona TV program he or she watched

Can tell briefly a story he or she Just heard

Can tell a story to another child

Can describe parties or other events

Knows some Mother Goose rhymes

Makes comments about his or herenvironment (sun, birds, weather, animals)

Asks questions about his or her environment

States choices about clothing

When asked, can explain whyhe or she didn't follow a direction

Can follow directions for simple games(board games, card games, talking games)

Asks questions beginning with 'why" or 'how'

Recognizes feelingsHappiness, sadnessFear, braveryAngerTryglye upWin, lose

SPEAKING WITH REASONABLEGRAMMATICAL CORRECTNESS

AND POLITENESS

Skill

Many times says 'thank you'without being reminded

Many times says *please'without being reminded

Remembers not to interruptwhen others are talking

Sometimes remembers to say 'excuse me'

Knows appropriate words to useto ask to go to the battvoom

Remember, your child doesn'tneed to have mastered everyskill on these lists. However,the more skills listed in this

chapter that your child mas-ters, the more prepared heor she will be for a successfulkindergarten experience.

27

CHAPTER 3THE LARGE AND SMALL MOTOR SKILLS

YOUR CHILD NEEDS TO SUCCEEDIN KINDERGARTEN

WHY MOTOR SKILLSHELP YOUR CHILD

You might ask: Whatdifference does it make ifmy daughter can catch a ballor stand on one foot beforeshe starts kindergarten?Before answering, let usdescribe what we mean bymotor skills.

At birth, a child has littlecontrol over body muscles.Feet and arms flutter atrandom. A baby cannot liftits head or focus its eyes.However, before much timepasses, with the brain andmuscles working together,a child progresses fromcrawling to standing,walking, running, andpossibly skipping. A babyprogresses from being ableto recognize its mother, to

28

guiding a spoon to itsmouth, to drawing a picture,to moving its eyes from leftto right across a line ofwords. Everyday a baby'smotor skills are improving,which indicates the brain,muscles, and eyes are work-ing smoothly together.

In kindergarten, a childprogresses further. Brain,muscles, and eyes,accustomed to workingtogether, enable a child toprint ietters within linesand to recognize letters ofthe alphabet when arrangedtogether to form words.Much of the progressoccurs as a result of randompractice through play. Whena baby crawls, touches,bites, pulls, looks and throws,he or she is developingmotor skills. These skills can

develop even further throughappropriate activities thatparents provide.

Much of the work inkindergarten involvesdrawing, painting, cuttipasting or gluing, tracin,using a pencil, constructiigwith paper or blocks. You-child will need motor skillsto perform these tasks. Achild who has these skills issuccessful and self-confident.

Motor skills also help inplaying with other children.In kindergarten, a childimproves his or her ability tosocialize. Most of group playrequires large motor skills.Having these skills willhelp your child feel moreconfident and fit in betterwith the other children.

How do you improve yourchild's motor skiils? Chancesare you are already doing agood deal. When you showyour child how to build withhocks or string beads,you are teachingmotor skills.You areprovidingopportunitiesto improvecoordinationin natural, funways.

In the skill lists at the endof this chapter, we havepresented specific motorskills which we know willhelp your child. Some skillsmay already be mastered.Others can be developedas your child matures.

ME TWO KINDS OFMOTOR SKILLS

Children need both largeand small motor skills. Yourchild uses large motor skillswhen ranning, hopping,skipping, throwing, catching,and batting a ball, amongother activities. Small motorskills include assembling anest of boxes, drinking froma glass, building a tower ofblocks, using crayons orpencils, cutting, pasting,stringing beads, and tracingshapes, for example. Inkindergarten, most of thetasks children perform attheir desks require smallmotor skills. Jamal lovesfinger painting but he hastrouble with pencil and

paper activities. Hedoesn't enjoy using

crayons either. His mothercontinues to let him finger

paint, but also offers someother activities to develophis small motor skills. Shefinds that Jamal enjoysstringing macaroni andplaying with clay-two of

3129

many activities good fordeveloping small motorskills. After these activitiesbecome easy, Jamal's motheroffers to let him use brightmarkers on big pieces ofpaper. She has pencils andcrayons nearby, too. It isn'tlong before Jamal is usingcrayons and then pencils.Pencil and paper activitiesbecome one of the manysmall motor skills he enjoyswith more confidence.

Having a reasonable degreeof large and small motorskills contributes toyour child's success inkindergarten. But, again, aword of caution. Rememberthe third rule from chapter2"don't try too hard or tooearly. Children developmotor skills at different rates.Some are better at largemotor skills. A few of thesuper-skilled may eventuallybecome professionalathletes. Others are betterat small motor skills. A fewof these super-skilledchildren may eventuallybecome artists or musicians.Your challenge as a parentis to recognizewhen your childis physicallyready andthen provideopportunities todevelop boththe small andlarge motor skillsneeded.

tn addition to motor skills,a child develops tactileskills. These are skills thatenable a child to learninformation throughtouching or being touched.Touching enables the tiniestof infants to feel the warmthof a parent's body and tobe comforted. By touchinghimself or herself as well asothers, a child learns abouthuman beings. A child learnsabout love by hugging andbeing hugged.

That is only the beginning.By touching a cup of hotchocolate or a glass of coldwater, your child learns abouthot and cold, as well assolids and liquids. Touchingobjects in your house allows

your child tolearn aboutcurved, solid,

hollow, fuzzy,smooth, rough,

round, andrectangularshapes. A childlearns the feel ofglass, plastic,

silver, wood, fur, nylon,stainless steel. In addition,children learn by smellingand chewing.

Unfortunately, in many homesthere are repeated warningsto little ones, "Don't touch!"That is sad because childrenacquire huge amounts ofuseful information bytouching. Naturally, onehas to be concerned aboutbreakage and safety, butafter storing your breakables,let your child toucheverything in sight. Allowhim or her to go barefootedin order to learn the feel ofeverything in your house.Use words which describethe textures. Rough, sticky,bumpy, squishy or silkyare fun words to know andthey expand your child'svocabulary.

Many children learn letterand number shapes moreeasily through tactileexperiences. Carmenremembers the letter Rafter she glues beans oncardboard in the shape ofan R. Jason remembers theletter M after he makes it outof clay. Combining tactileexperiences with other typesof learning is very effective.A child can listen to learnabout something, look atsomething to learn about it,and feel the texture ofsomething to learn as well.

SPATIAL SKILLS

Spatial skills refer to thoseskills which your child learnsfrom moving about his orher environment, such as thehouse or backyard. Babiespractice spatial skills as theylearn to crawl. Throughcrawling, babies developskills in understanding up,down, over, under, inside,and outside. Young childrencontinue to develop spatialskills as they learn to playcatch with a ball, to skip,to put puzzles together, andso on. Standing with you atan observation point on ascenic highway, your childdevelops a sense of distanceand depth. The mountain inthe distance is far away. Theflag on a pole is high up.The river is far down. Theseexperiences with spacedevelop the ability to useboth large and small motorskills in play and learningat school.

31

LARGE MOTOR SKILLSThe following skills are not necessarily in order of difficulty. The level of

difficulty will vary from child to child. As a parent. you'll want to providemany opportunities for all of these skills to develop. Remember, all skills do

not have to be mastered by the time your child enters kindergarten.

SkillsWalks down steps, placingone foot on each step

an bounce a ball 5 consecutive timesCan bounce a ball to another person4 or 5 feet (1.2 m or 1.5 m) awayCan catch a ball when bounced to him or herCan throw a ball accurately to anotherperson 4 or 5 feet (1.2 m or 1.5 m) awayCan catch a ball thrown from adistance of 4 or 5 feet (1.2 m or 1.5 m)

-Caniiiclia ballCan pump self on swingCan hop on either footCan hop with two feet togetherCan crouch and hop like a bunnyCan Jump forward and land on both feetCan walk forward on a line, puttingone foot after the otherCan staid on right leg for 10 secondsCan stand on lett leg for 10 secondsCan Ile on floor and spread bothlegs and arms apart at the same timeCan stand on two feet. hands on hips, andbend body forward, backward, and sldewaysCan touch parts of body with both hands, such as

shouldersneckkneestoeshipsthighschest

Can dance with an adult partner andmove forwardmove backwardmove sideways leftmove sideways right

Can skipCan clap hands to music 3 4

Mastered

32

4k,

SMALL MOTOR SKILLSHere is a list of small motor skills that will help your cNid prepare

for kindergarten. Once again, your child does not have tomaster all skills before entering school.

Skill

Can hold pencil comfortably

Can use crayons without breaking them

Can use round-tipped scissors effectively

Can color and stay within linesreasonably well

Can copy a square

Can draw a reasonably good circle_Can put together a 9-plece puzzle

Can print first name, using capitaland small letters

Can use poste or glue without too much mess

Can siring wooden beads together

Can hammer pegs on a board

Can use a spoon without spilling

Can get a drink of water without a mess

Can turn pages of book without tearing pages

Mastered

33

TACTILE AWARENESSAs your child becomes more familiar with how 1:-.ings feel, try to use thesewords in helping him or her describe an object. Again. It is not necessary

to have mastered all of these words, but the more words your childknows, the better prepared he or she will be for school.

Skill

Is able to describe objects ashardsoftrubberyliquidsolidstickyfuzzy,

furrysmoothcurvedroundpricklypointedstretchyplasticwoodmetal

Is able to describe foods ascrispsweet

Mastered

sourtoughchewy

Is able to recognize weather conditions, such ascoldwarmhotslipperyfreezingicysnowywindysunnyrainystormy

SPATIAL AWARENESSSpatial awareness is important for large and small motor skills. These skills

help your child follow directions correctly, from using his or her wholebody to using pencil and paper.

Skill

Can place body In these positionsIn relationship to an object or person

Mastered

abovebelow

behind

on top

underneath

next to

beside

betweenIn front of

,

In back of

outside of

go around

Can point to

high up

low down

far away

near

close

far down

far up

Recognizes slzes in space as

very big

tiny

small

thick

thin

huge

35

EASY ACTIVMES ANDGAMES TO PLAY TODEVELOP MOTOR,TACTILE, AND SPATIALSKILLS

In keeping with the themethat most of what your childshould know before enteringkindergarten can and shouldbe taught in a natural way,we want to remind you ofseven activities that you mayalready be using and whichare among the best fordeveloping your child'smotor skills. They are:

Dancing: It doesn'tmatter what type ofdancing you do withyour child. All forms areexcellent for teachinglarge motor skills.Most children lovedancing. It developsspatial sense andhelps a child feelmore comfortablewhen touchingother people.

Exercise: If youfollow anexercise **%.

routine foryour ownwell-being,encourage yourchild to joinyou in

performing simpleexercises. Be careful toavoid any exercises thatcould be consideredinappropriate or dangerousfor your child. I loweverimmature the performanceis at first, he or she willimprove.

Walking or hiking: Give yourchild opportunities to walklong distances (a mile ortwo). You can walk aroundyour neighborhood, theinside of shopping malls,or walking trails in public

parks. This gives youa great opportunity

to talk with yourchild aboutwhat he or shesees on the

walk.

Bean Bags and Balls:They're old-fashioned,easy to make orinexpensive to buy.Bean bags and balls

offer some of thcbest motor-skill

buildingactivities,

such asplayingcatch,

tossingbean bags

at a target, as well asa variety of othergames.

Playing Cards: I lere's a gooduse for old card decks.Show your child how tobuild a house of cards withmany rooms spread out overthe floor or a tower rising2 or 3 stories high. This isexcellent for developingsmall motor control.

Lines and Squares: Whenwalking on a sidewalk,challenge your child to trywalking vvithout steppingon the lines. Remind himor her to stay inside thesquares. Make a game of it!

Going to the Park:Childrenlove to play in the [rk!Parents find most parks arelaxed atmosphere wherechildren can run and play.But all that playgroundequipment provides morethan fun. The climbingapparatus, teeter totters,swings, tunnels, andmerry-go-rounds give yourchild thc best type of largemotor skill exercise possible!If your child is i'earful aboutusing the equipment, don'tforce or ridicule, but don'tgive up either. Go to thepark often and encourageyour child to touch the

equipment. When yourchild acquires a tactile andspatial sense of theseawesome objects, he or shewill be encouraged to takethe first steps toward usingthem. Be encouraging.Watching other children atplay on numerous occasionsencourages children toovercome fears as well.

TOYS THAT DEVELOPMOTOR, SPATIAL,AND TACTILE SKILLS

Long before educatorsbecame aware of the need todevelop the motor skills ofyoung children, parentswere buying the toys thatdid that very thing. Bicycles,blocks, crayons, wagons,skates, pegboards, miniaturecars, nests of boxes, andclothesi ins were enjoyed byour grandparentsandthey're still the best toys youcan buy to strengthen andcoordinate the mind, themuscles, and the eyes.Coloring is especially goodfor fine motor skills, too.Children need plenty ofopportunities to draw, color,and paste. When your child

37

38

is ready, help him or her cutpaper with round-tippedscissors. A word of warningtry out the scissors beforebuying them. Many scissorsare very stiff and difficultto use. Everyone dislikesscissors that hurt when youuse them.

Dolls for both boys andgirls with wardrobes ofclothes and doll houseswith miniature furniture toarrange and rearrange alsodevelop stnall-me or, spatial,and tactile skills. Large andsmall balls, jump ropes,child-size sweepers, brooms,snow shovels, sets of dishes,building blocks and othersmall building materials,and miniature cars are old-fashioned and inexpensive,

but they are still invaluablefor developing motor, tactile,and spatial skills.

The best toys are those thatpermit a child to exphre themwith his or her har ,s andbody. Some toys ate toomechanical. There's nothingmuch for a child to do withthem. Often, models ofmonsters and TV charactersattract a child for a fewminutes, but they are soondiscarded. When choosinga toy for your child, askyourself:

Does it require motor skillsto play with and will itstimulate imagination?

If it doesn't, your child willmost likely lose interest inthe toy very quickly.

CHAPTER 4THE SOCIAL AND EMOTIONAL SKILLS

THAT MAKE KINDERGARTEN EASY

EMOTIONAL SKILLS MATWILL HELP YOUR CHILD

In September, when five-and six-year-olds enter aclassroom for the first time,these are some of the typesof behaviors a teacher willobserve:

Child A begins talkingto another child.

Child B sits quietly in hisseat, his eyes wanderingabout the room.

Child C clings to motheror whimpers.

Child D begins buildingwith blocks and thenknocks down whatshe built.

Child E zooms around theroom trying to bump intosomeone or something.

Child F picks up a bookand turns the pages.

Child G picks up a dolland smoothes its hair.

Each of these childrenexhibits behavior whichreveals something about hisor her emotional state. Fromlong years of experience,we know that the degree ofa child's emotional develop-ment is more important tohis or her future success inschool when he or sheenters kindergarten thanknowing how to read, countto 100, or catch a footballfrom 25 feet (7.6 m) away.

All of his life, Ben hasbeen told by his parentswhat a great kid he is.When he needed to changea behavior, the behavior wascriticized, not Ben. Kenny,on the other hand, wasconstantly ridiculed and

39

40

personally criticized forevery little wrongdoing inan attempt to change hisbehavior.

Picture Kenny's and Ben'semotional states when theyenter a classroom of twentynew faces and a strangeadult. While the teacher isexplaining where thechildren should hang theirs eaters and put their lunchboxes or bags, chances areBen is coping very wellwhile Kenny's mind is filledwith fears. Kenny does nothear the teacher. He doesn'tknow how to function in thisthreatening new world.

CHILDREN ARE DIFFERENTPARENTS ARE DIFFERENT

Children are bornemotionally different. Onebaby will scream whilehaving his bath. Another willgurgle or fall asleep. Onenewborn will lie awake forthree to five hours each day.Another will sleep for 23.Another infant will acceptnew foods readily, while heridentical twin brotherwill spit them out.

Parents, too, confronttheir children withvarious temperaments.Parents may be domineeringor passive, insecure oroverly positive, emotional

rather than reasonable,serious rather than light-hearted, pessimistic ratherthan optimistic. Childrenoften reflect their parents'temperaments.

THE MOST IMPORTANTEMOTIONAL QUALITYTHAT LEADS TO SUCCESSIN SCHOOL

The library shelves arefilled with books written bypsychologists, doctors, andeducators about the emo-tional and social nature ofchildren. Because of ouryears of observation asteachers, we have come tobelieve that self-confidenceis the most importantemotional factor involvedin children's learning.Throughout this book weemphasize its importance.

Regardless of your child'snatural temperament, youcan help him or her adjustto the world and developself-confidence by the wayyou ,!spond to his or her

needs. The following areexamples of scenes thatoccur daily in many homes.After each example, negative

ways of handling them aredescribed and then followedby constructive ways whichhelp to build self-confidence.

Example: Daniel spills his milli

Destructive: Daniel, you are a badboy! Look at the mess you made.Constructive: What a mess! Thatcup was too full, wasn't it? Let'sclean it up together.Example: Sarah, age 3, has beescrying and is now whining in therestaurant.Destructive: If you don't stop thatwhining this minute, you're goingto get it! Stop that! No one likesyou!

Constructive: I know you aretired, Sarah. Come sit close to meso you can rest. I'll be donc in afew minutes.Example: Alison, age 4, was told topick up her clothes.Destructive: Alison! You putthings in the wrong place. Don'tyou have any sense? What's thematter with you?Constructive: Good start, Mison!Let's finish together.Example: Dad and Aaron, age 2 1/2,are looking at a book.

Destructive: Aaron, you're tearingthe page. If you don't let me turnit for you, we're going to put thebook away.

Constructive: Let me help you turnthe page, Aaron. I'll hold it hereso it will be easier for you. I knowyou don't want to tear the page.Example: Nathan and Elliot arefighting.Destructive: Stop it, you two.If you can't behave, then you'renever going to be allowed toplay together.Constructive: (Taking each childby the arm or hand and speakingquietly) That's enough now. We'regoing to sit here and I am goingto let each of you tell me whyyou are so angry. I know you arenot happy when you arc fighting.

Example: Mother has &iced Laurato tell a friend how old she is. Laurarefuses to talk.

Destructive: Laura! Has the cat gotyour tongue? l'o t. heaven's sake,you know how old you arc.

Constructive: I guess Laura isfeeling quiet today. Maybe shewill tell you later.

41

INDICATORS OFSELF-CONFIDENCE

The following is a list ofbehaviors that indicate that achild has self-confidence.

Asks for help when needed

Can be away from parentsfor a few hours with ababysitter

Starts own play activity

Is eager to learn newthings; er',.s a new activitywithout fear

Follows directions withouthesitation

Initiates a conversation

Works independently fromthe group, if desires

Deals well withembarrassment

Accepts minordisappointmentswithout tears

Looks directly at theperson speaking

Takes part in discussions

Takes teasing lightly

Accepts "no" without a fuss

When children areself-confident, they arc readyto learn.

42

They feel good aboutthemselves. They areunafraid of what is newIf they make a mistake, theyshrug it off or even laughand learn from theirmistakes. They try and tryagain. When children areself-confident, they canparticipate fully in everytype of learning that occursin kindergarten.

SOCIAL SKILLS THAT MAKEKINDERGARTEN EASY

Children are pleased whenthey do good work inschool, but most childrenare happiest when otherchildren like them and wantthem for their friends. Theywant to be chosen to besomeone's partner or to beincluded in a game on theplayground.

These are characteristicsteachers often observe thatindicate children have goodsocial skills:

Shares and takes turns

Sits quietly in a groupwhcn being read to

Says "please" and "thank-you" most of the time

Doesn't interrupt whenothers are talking

Understands the danger oftalking to strangers

Participates in groupactivities

Offers to help anotherchild

Feels sorry for a childin trouble

Gives a compliment

Doesn't touch otherchildren unnecessarily

HOW TO ENCOURAGESOCIABILITY

Self-confidence is the basisfor good social skills.Parental behavior thatencourages self-confidencebuilds good social skills.Keeping in mind what wehave previously said

about children differingemotionally, children alsodiffer in their social abilities.Some children like to bewith others all the time,while others like solitaryplay for extended periodsand seek playmates onlyoccasionally. Children arcindividuals.

A parent who has a solitary-minded child might want toprovide some opportunitiesfor social interaction withother children. On the otherhand, the parent of an overlysocially oriented child,should provide opportunitiesfor solitary time.

We will end this chapter byreminding you of the eightguidelines which can helpyou in raising children whohave emotional and socialskill stability.

1 . Take Time for Love

2. Kind Words Work Wonders

3. Don't Try Too Hard or Too Early

4. Rewards Win Results

5. We Learn by Doing

6. Repetition Reaps Results

7. Learning Is a Joy

8. Sometimes Questions AreBetter Than Answers

43

CHAPTER 5EARLY-LEARNING ACTIVITIES

On pages 45-48 is an exampleof a kindergarten report cardsimilar to one used by apublic school system knownfor its excellence. In thepreceding chapters, we havediscussed in detail thetypes of motor, social, andemotional skills listed onthe report card. In thischapter, we shall describeearly-learning activitieswhich will help your child todevelop the cognitive skillsthat are listed. These areskills your child needs inorder to learn to read, write,and do arithmetic.

SIGNS OF INTERESTIN LEARNING

Like many other children,when Sarah was three, shespent hours playing withminiature cars and trucks.Without thinking muchabout it and withoutexpending much time oreffort, her Mother and Dadused the interest in cars andtrucks to teach Sarah theirnames and uses. Her parentsengaged in an early-learning

activity with Sarah, providingher with a wonderfulopportunity to increase hervocabulary and knowledgebase. Best of all, Sarahlearned because she wasinterested.

flow soon a child will beready for cognitive le2rningwill vary greatly. Onetoddler learns to talk at two;another may feel no needto talk until three. Mostimportant of all, however,is to not push or force yourchild to learn a skill he orshe isn't ready for. It isimportant to remember theguideline, "Don't Try TooHard or Too Early." Yourchild will let you knownaturally what he or sheis interested in learning.Follow your child's lead withpicturebooks, puzzles, andmagazines on the subjectof interest. Begin collections,if appropriate, and talkabout thc similarities anddifferences among the items.Approach your child'sinterest in as many waysas possible.

Your child may be ready forcognitive learning when yousee that he or she:

Likes to be read to

Shows interest in numbers

Can listen to a story or takepart in a conversation for15 minutes or more

Asks questions beginningwith "why," "what," "when"or "how"

Talks about special interests

Asks questions abouteverything

Can play by himself orherself for 15-30 minutesor longer

Typical KindergartenReport Card

NA indicates that performancewas not measured at this time.

+ CONSISTENTLY

/ SHOWS GROWTH_ SELDOM

au,aaa

aLLJa<00z0(..)

a

a0a.-

aLU

&

am._am2

SOCIAL/EMOTIONALDEVELOPMENT

Participates In group activities

Contributes to group discussions

Listens to the ideas of others

Works and plays well with others

Selects appropriate activities

Controls behavior

Follows directions

Pays attention .

Makes an effort to do careful work4

Completes work,

Works Independently when necessary.

Shows self-confidencep-,,

.> 45

NA indicates that performancewas not measured at this time.

+ CONSISTENTLY

/ SHOWS GROWTHSELDOM

aw.-a<Da0

rzw1.-c<D0aZ0uvl

awI.-m<Daaa1,_

czw-.a<M0I--an2

COGNITIVEDEVELOPMENT

5

Solves problems on his/her own

Listens

Recalls with accuracy

Displays appropriate oral vocabulary

Discriminates visually (designs. letters, words)

Recognizes alphabet letters

Upper case

Lower case

Discriminates auditorily

Beginning consonant sounds

Rhyming sounds

Associates sounds and letters

Counts objects to 30

Recognizes numerals to 20

Forms numerals 1-10 satisfactorily

0::44144"1.......... .

. .

46

NA Indicates that performancewas not measured at this time.

+ CONSISTENTLY

/ SHOWS GROWTH

- SELDOM

gg

ES

98

czillc,<

aa

PSYCHOMOTORDEVELOPMENT

Able to coordinate body movements

Able to coordinate eye-handmovements (e.g. cutting, drawing)

Able to respond withcreative movement

48

NA Indicates that performancewas not measured at this time.

+ CONSISTENTLY

/ SHOWS GROWTH

- SELDOM

a.-cnLi

aLu--a<

900Lucr)

a...L..

aair--

aLI,Ic

a0u-

ATTENDANCEINFORMATION

Days Present

Days Absent

Times Tardy

LEARNING COLORS

When they enter kinder-garten, many children knowthe names of the basic colors,as well as more subtle ones,such as pink, gold, tan, gray,and silver. In kindergarten,children use crayons, paints,and colored constructionpaper all day long. Knowingcolors by name helpsthem follow the teacher'sdirections and makedecisions about choices thathave to do with color.This ability gives childrenself-confidence. It alsoprovides one of the firstopportunities for childrento develop the concept thatobjects can be placed intocategories, such as colors,shapes, foods, buildings,and so on.

There are fascinating booksdesigned to teach colors tovery young children. Parentsneed to help their childrenbecome aware of colors.You are engaging in anearly-learning activity withyour child when you askquestions like these:

Would you like to wearyour blue sweatshirt oryour red one?

Did you see that brightyellow car?

Which color do you thinkstands out most on thecereal box?

LEARNING SHAPES

Many children enterkindergarten able torecognize shapes, such assquares, rectangles, triangles,circles, and diamonds.Knowing shapes is directlyrelated to learning torecognize the letters of thealphabet. Capital andsmall letters are made upof shapes and the childwho recognizes the shapeshas a head start on learningthe letters.

When your child is ready,teach him or her the namesof these shapes: circle,square, triangle, rectangle,and diamond. Encourageyour child to draw circles,triangles, and squares.Then invite your child tocreate pictures using circles,triangles, and squares.

Children learn shapes frombooks, "Sesame Street,"puzzles, and toys, but itisn't necessary to use onlythese materials. Your kitchenis filled with wonderfulshapes. While preparingbreakfast or cleaning upafter dinner, make anearly-learning game byasking your child to pointto a rectangle, hide a circle,or eat a square cracker.

49

UNFORCED WAYS OFTEACHING ME ALPHABET

Educators used to disagreeabout whether or not toteach children the alphabetbefore they entered firstgrade. Times have changed.Today, most kindergartensteach children to recognizeand print both capital andsmall letters as a preludeto learning to read. Manychildren enter kindergartenable to recognize letters.

SHOULD I TEACH MYCHILD TO PRINT?

A few children enterkindergartenknowinghow toprint. Agoodnumberknowhow toprint onlytheir first

name, but may mix up thecapitals and small letters.Although it is useful to 134!able to recognize the Icttersof the alphabet, it is notnecessary to know how toprint them. If you do teachyour child to print his or hername, use a capital letteronly for the first letter ofeach name and use smallletters for the rest, unlesshis or her name has an extracapital, as in McDowel.Children get confused whenthey have been taught athome to print their namesin all capital letters andthen are told to write theirnames a different way inschool. Many children arevery resistant to change,naturally believing thatthey know how to writetheir own names better thanthe teacher. For printingother words, use a capitalletter only if there is a

grammaticalreason fordoing so.

GOOD-TIME ACTIVITIESFOR TEACHING THEALPHABET

A list of enjoyable activitiesfor teaching the alphabetis provided here. It isimportant to enjoy the timespent with your child andremember the guideline"Don't Try Too Hard orToo Early."

1. Sing the alphabet songwith your child.

2. Find an attractive ABCbook to read to yourchild. There are many tochoose from in yourbookstore or localpublic library.

3. As you are driving inthe car with your child,point out letters in signsyou see along the way."Look at the 'S' in thestop sign. Can you seeanother 'S'?" "Can youfind the first letter ofyour name on thatbig sign?"

4. At breakfast, ask yourchild to find certainletters on the cereal box

5. Have your child pickout particular letters innewspaper headlines.

6. Provide your child witha tape of the alphabetsong to listen to.

7. Help your child nameletters in alphabet soupand alphabet cereal.

8. Provide building blockswith letters on them foryour child to play with.

9. Watch "Sesame Street"with your child anddiscuss the letters.

10. Write letters on paperwith glue and have yourchild cover the gluewith beans, rice, orcolored sand.

11. Have your child practicewriting letters in the airwith his or her finger.

12. Print the names ofpeople important toyour child and helphim or her look forsimilarities anddifferences amongthe letters.

13. Invite your child to writeletters or his or hername in sand with astick or finger.

14. Encourage your childto make letter shapesout of clay strips, orbetter yet, cookie doughand bake them!

51

52

15. Talk about the shapes ofletters using words like

"circle,""curved,""straight," and "crossed."

16. Cut letters out of sandpaper or other stiffmaterial and encourageyour child to feel them.

EASY WAYS TO TEACHNUMBERS

Children love to count andsome enter school knowinghow to count from 1 to 10;others can count from 1 to100. In the stores there arestunningly clever books,toys, and games designed toteach childr;:n to count, butthere are also hundreds ofobjects in your own homethat will do the job.

Some children even knowhow to do simple additionand subtraction when theyenter kindergarten. Theseare worthy achievements,but sometimes they cancause misunderstanding. Forexample, a mother askedthat since her daughter knewhow to count, couldn't shebegin to learn how to add.The answer is important.Counting by itself is simplymemorization. To add orsubtract or to use numbersin playing a game, a childmust know what thenumbers actually represent.

Try this on your child."Amanda, would you pleasebring me six spoons fromthe drawer?" If Amanda,without help, brings sixspoons, then it's fair to saythat she understands what"six" rr..ans. If she bringsfour, f'.ve or seven spoons,she does not know thenumber six. In order to doarithmetic, children mustunderstand what thenumbers mean. Withoutmuch effort, there aredozens of times during theday when you can developyour child's number conceptsusing these kinds ofstatements and questions:

You may take three stickers.

Count the dots on thedice, then move yourgame piece that same num-ber of spaces.

l low many carrots areon this plate?

EASY WAYS TO ENCOURAGEYOUR CHILD TO MINK

Amanda can count to 100.

Scott knows all the nurscryrhymes in his book.

Becky is constantly askingme questions.

Which child is thinking?Knowing many facts is notnecessarily thinking. That ismemorizing, which isimportant, too, because factsare tools of thinking. Youoften need to know certainfacts to engage in productivethinking about a particularsubject. But thinking itselfinvolves wondering how orwhy. Curiosity, which leadsto investigation or askingquestions, and problemsolving are thinkingactivities. Thinking involvesseeing the relationshipbetween one fact andanother

MESE CHILDREN ARETHINKING

Anita is watching aspider crawl.

Nathan is trying to put ajigsaw puzzle together.

Andrea asks, "Why doessoap make bubbles?"

Like learning to play amusical instrument, thinkingtakes practice. When Anitawatches the spider, she maybe thinking about how itcrawls or where it is going.Nathan is thinking about therelationship of shapes andAndrea is asking a reallytechnical question.

Often, as a parent, you wantto make problems or smallhardships disappear for yourchild. But these can beextremely valuable thinkingexperiences. When a puzzlepiece doesn't quite fit, letyour child find the differentpossibilities, even thoughyou can readily see the pieceis upside down. Use yourbest judgment, however.You don't want your childto suffer through intensefrustration with somethingway beyond his or herability.

Parents can encourage theirchildren to think in twosimple ways:

1. Ask your child "why,""when," "where," "what,"and "how" questions.

"Why do you think thcboy in the story is sad?"

"flow can we addtime blocks to yourtower without makingit fall over?"

53

"What would you doif you were the girl inthe movie?"

2. Answer the questionsyour child asks withpraise.

"That's a good question,Michael. I am glad youasked."

FIVE LEARNINGGUIDELINES TO HELPYOUR CHILD BESUCCESSFUL INKINDERGARTEN

1. Talk to Your Child

It may sound strange ortoo simple to say that oneof the best ways you canprepare your child forkindergarten is to talk tohim or her, but it's true.And the best time to beginis from the day your childis born. Daniel does nothave to understand orremember every word yousay. In time, Nv i t hou t effort,he will learn to concentrate

on sounds and to increasehis vocabulary by copyinghis parents.

When Daniel was born,he didn't recognize anysounds. By talking to him,his mother taught him herlanguage, including all thesoft and hard sounds of theconsonants and vowels.The more she talked, themore Daniel learned todiscriminate betweensounds. That is the firststep in learning to read.The :nore words yourchild knows, the betterhe or she will be able tocomprehend language.Your child will be betterat following directions,asking questions,expressing his or herfeelings, and understand-ing what he or she seesand hears.

On pages 55 and 56 is askills list explaining simpletechniques you can usethat will help your childbe more successfulin kindergarten.

54

Talldng to Your Child

1. Give everything itsproper name.

Example: Instead of "We'regoing 'bye-bye," say "We'regoing to the grocery store."

2. Use words that willexpand your child'svocabulary.

Example: Instead of saying"big," use words like"large," "giant-sized,""enormous " or "huge."

3. Use objects to reinforcethe meaning of words.

Example: This measuringspoon is tiny. This tea-spoon is medium-sized.This tablespoon is large.This is a mixing spoon.It's huge.

4. Speak in sentencesinstead of a single word.

Example: Instead of saying"Okay" or "Good," say"That is correct" or "Youdid that perfectly (orsplendidly, thoughtfully,artistically).

5. Give compliments forusing an appropriateword.

Example: "Survive!' That'sa very adult word to use.You really are learning alot of words."

6. Without criticism, repeatcorrectly a sentenceused incorrectly.

Example: Child: "Hedone it."

You: "Ile did it."

Child: "Her and me..."

You: "She and 1..."

Child: "I ain't got no..."

You: "I haven't any..."

7. Respond to commentsby repeating them andthen asking a questionor giving additionalinformation.

Example: Child: "That caracts funny."

You:"Yes, it is funny. WhenGrandpa Garcia boughthis first automobile, thehorn would blow everytime he turned the corner.But we didn't laugh. Wewere embarrassed."

55

Child: "Birdie flied away."

You: "Yes, the cardinalflew away."

8. Use vocal and facialexpressions to showinterest.

Example: "That is certainlyan interesting idea. Let'sthink about it. I wonderwhat is making the waves sohigh today?"

9. Talk about what you arethinking or doing.

Example: "First, you needto dig a hole in the groundabout six inches deep.Then you add some fertilizerto the hole and mix it intothe soil. Place the tulip bulbin the hole and cover withdirt. In the spring, a tulipwill grow."

56

The Four Best LearningCenters for Talking

1. Your kitchen

2. The supermarket

3. The shopping mall

Bath and bedtime

2. Read to Your Child

One of the loveliestsights to sec is that ofa parent and a three-or four-year-old eachcarrying books out of thepublic library. Lucky child!

Next to talking tochildren, nothing willhelp them do better inkindergarten than readingto them. Parents can giveno greater gift to theirchildren than teachingthem to love books.Think of the benefits:

It provides a secure, warmemotional environment inwhich to bond parentand child.

It expands vocabulary.

It teaches the richnessof language and exposesyour child to "book talk,"which is different fromspeaking.

It provides informationabout the world.

It stimulates imagination.

It teaches childrento listen.

lt helps childrenunderstand aboutother kinds of people.

in years to come, thehappy memory of beingread to will stay withyour child.

Not only is it importantto read to your child, butyou should also let yourchild see you read foryour own pleasure andinformation. This letsyour child know thatreading is a life-longactivitynot somethingto be learned and usedonly for school. Yourchild will sce a greaterpurpose and usefulnessin reading and will valuereading much more.

A bibliography ofappropriate books foryour child is suggestedat e end of this book.

your public librarianis a wonderful resourcein your search forpicturehooks. Most

57

children love books andwould be delighted topick out an inexpensivebook on a trip to thegrocery store. The greateraccess your child has tobooks, the better.

3. Sing to Your Child

Sing a song of sixpence,a pocket full of rye.Four and twentyblackbirdsbaked in a pie.

Singing to a child affordsthe same rewards astalking, but with theadded benefit that singingimparts emotionalwarmth. From "Sing aSong of Sixpence,"Daniel learns to hearinitial consonant soundsand rhymes, both ofwhich will help him learnto read. Mother Gooserhymes are particularlyuseful for this purpose.Check the bibliographyat the back of this bookfor some Mother Goosebooks your child is sureto enjoy.

4. Play Games withYour Child

Games are another wayof providing the benefitsassociated with talkingand reading to children.

58

They encourage childrento think, to use numbers,and to be sociable withboth adults and otherchildren. They provideopportunities to teachhonesty, fairness, andhow to win and lose.In addition, games havethe virtue of being fun.A word of caution-becareful to avoid toomuch competition or agame can be a sourceof frustration and badfeelings.

There are manymechanical and electronicgames on the marketand many educationaltoys. Before you buyeven an inexpensive item,make sure the packagingdoesn't conceal a trivialgame or toy insideand that it is for theappropriate age level.

JigsawPuzzles

Peg Boards

Flide andSeek

Other SimpleBoard Games

=111.

Don't Forget theGolden Oldies

Checkers

Dominoes

Ball Games

Candy land

5. Go Places withYour Child

In the Room of Wondersat the Science Museum,a volunteer overheardthis dialog:

Mother: Pat, it's time togo home now.

Pat (age 4): You go home,I want to live here.

Throughout this bookwe have emphasized thatchildren will have anadvantage in kindergartenif they understand andcan use language.We'vealso said that the home,a supermarkct, or ashopping mall are superlearning centers. If youhave the timc andfacilities are available,takc your child to scienceand natural historymuseums, a planetarium,an aquarium, and artgalleries.

If your city doesn'thave these, take yourchild for walks in thewoods. Go outsidetogether at night to lookat the stars. Examine theedges of a creek or apond. Visit a farm orwalk across a field.Observe the varieties ofbuildings in your townand have conversationsabout them. Make agarden or build a dollhouse or castle out ofboxes. Remember thatevery new learningexperience will serveyour child well inkindergarten.

t;59

60

CHAPTER 6SELF-HELP SKILLS THAT MAKE

KINDERGARTEN EASYOn the first day Kellyentered kindergarten, sheunbuttoned her sweater,tied her shoe, and tookcare of her toilet needswithout help.

On the first day Melindaentered kindergarten, shewas too timid to tell theteacher she needed to gothe bathroom. She wet herpants and then cried inembarrassment.

In kindergarten, Kelly wason her own. Even with aperceptive and helpfulteacher, she had to perform,on her own, the numerouslittle tasks that her Mothermay have helped her withat home. Kelly felt confidentbecause she had learnedself-care skills at home.

Self-care skills are habitschildren need to learn totake care of themselvesalone. It takes lots ofpatience to instill habits.

With encouragement andhelp, 2-year-old Justin wastaught to pick up a pile ofblocks, 2 1/2-year-oldAndrew was taught to brushhis teeth, and 3-year-oldAaron to dress himself.

It is easier for a parent totie a child's shoe than toteach his or her child to tiethe shoe him or herself.Self-care skills are bestlearned if parents are patientwhen their children makemistakes. Complete masteryof all self-care skills is notnecessary. Tying shoes,for example, is often verydifficult for some children.Little fingers need to bequite strong for this skill.Some jacket zippers posebig problems, too. Freedof pressure and supportedby encouraging words,your child can learn to takecare of himself or herselfin school.

A SELF-CARE SKILL GUIDEFOR CHILDREN AT AGE 5

33EMM*MrstrWkMKM33n'VWAMWMIMM?:::M:VVWM::461MMKMW

Dressing SkillsSkill

Can button and unbutton clothing

Is able to start zipper In Jacketand slide it without jamming

Is able to buckle a belt

Can put on and removeshoes and boots

Can tie shoe laces

Can hang up clotheson hanger or hook

Can put on or removea garment, such as a sweater

Mastered

Is able to put on snowsuitor Jacket without help

Knows where to put mittensor gloves for safe keeping

A SELF-CARE SKILL GUIDEFOR CHILDREN AT AGE 5

Personal Care SkillsSkill

Knows how to ask to go to the bathroom

If a boy, knows how to use a urinal

Can take care of toilet needs without help

Washes hands after using toilet

Can blow nose using ttssueand disposes of tissue properly

Can wash and dry hands well

Mastered

62

A SELF-CARE SKILL GUIDEFOR CHILDREN AT AGE 5

Eating SkillsSkill

Can carry a plate of food to the table

Can eat neatly with a fork

Finishes eating In a reasonableamount of time

Knows how to use a napkin

Doesn't talk with a mouth full of food

Mastered

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63

A SHOPPING GUIDE TOMAKE SELF-HELP EASYKindergarten is a work place thatrequires work clothes. Children'swork clothes should be simple,washable, and sturdy. They shouldnot be tight or too loose and shouldbe easy for a child to manageindependently. When shopping forschool clothes, examine them forthese features:

1. Are the fasteners and buttonseasy to manage? They shouldnot be at the back of thegarment. Shoulder snaps aredifficult, too.

2. I)oes the zipper glide easily?Is there enough firm fabric oneach side of the zipper so thefabric won't catch?

3. Do the shoes have Velcro flapsfor children who have difficultytying laces?

4. Are buttons and button holeslarge enough?

5. Do the boots slide easilyover shoes?

6. Do coats and sweaters haveloops at the back for easyhanging on hooks? If not,they end up On the floor.

7. Is the belt easy to fasten?

8. Does the snowsuit have widelegs so your child does not haveto remove shoes in order to putit on or take it off?

9. Can mittens or gloves besecurely fastened to theouter garment?

10. Are there pockets forholding tissues?

11. Will the shoulder straps slide off?

12. Are the garments easy tomanage in the bathroom?Jumpsuits are difficult.

13. Cardigan sweaters andsweatshirts are easier thanpullovers to take off or put onwhen your child feels too warmor too cold. Classrooms areusually cool, but when childrenplay, they often want to taketheir sweaters off.

14. Does your child like hisor her clothes?

KEEP THESE TIPS INMIND, TOO1. Backpacks may be too difficult

for kindergarten children toput on without help. Schoolbags should fasten easilyand be big enough to hold9" x 12" (22.9cm x 30.5cm)books and papers.

Clothing which children mightremove during the day shouldhave nametags. You canimprovise with adhesive tapeand permanent markers.

Bracelets and necklaces area distraction and should beworn only for special occasions.

Your child will need a paintingapron or covering, such as anold shirt.

Many schools furnish pencils,crayons, paints, and paper.If you do buy a pencil box,keep in mind that a simpleone is easier for your child tomanage than one with manycompartments.

1

66 1:7-41J

CHAPTER 7SEPARATION DAY

September is coming. Thestart of kindergarten is athand. Some nervous feelingsare going to be normal.After all, kindergarten doesmark a major shift from yourchild's dependence on youto a degree of dependenceon himself or herself, as wellas dependence on anotheradult, a teacher.

YOU MAY HAVE TOMAKE A DECISION

Parents A: The Changs

The Changs are reallyexcited about the prospectof Freddie enteringkindergarten. Since hisbirthday was in January,he will be one of the olderchildren in the class, whichis good. He has acquiredmost of the motor,emotional, social, andacademic skills suggestedin this booknot all, butquite a few. Freddie, too,can hardly wait for

September. Fie is a happy,self-confident youngster.

Parent B: Vincent Juliano

Vincent Juliano has custodyof his son, Mark, and has alot of doubts about whetherhe should send him tokindergarten this September.Because of his workschedule, it would helpDad a lot if his son could go,but Mark, who won't be fiveuntil the end of October,will be one of the youngestchildren in the class. Also,there is the fact that he hasmany more skills yet toacquire. Mark is a sweet,quiet boy. After muchthinking back and forth,Vincent decides to holdback Mark's entry intokindergarten for a year.Vincent plans to locate apreschool that will giveMark an extra year in whichto develop.

67

Parent C: Lakisha Carter

Raising Elisha alone hasnot been easy for Lakisha.Elisha is the right age forkindergarten, but she hasonly partially mastered manyof the skills helpful forsuccess in school. Elishalikes being with children,but she's a little timid andperhaps a little insecure.It would ease Lakisha'sbabysitting problem if Elishawere in school, but shedoesn't want to push Elisha.Lakisha really doesn't knowwhat to do.

HELPFUL HINTS INMAKING A DECISION

Parents A and B have madetheir decisions. Freddiewill enter kindergarten inSeptember, and Mark willattend a preschool. Lakishais in a quandary anddoesn't know what to do.For the many parents inthis position, here areadditional suggestions tohelp in making :4 decision:

Your Child's Age

Historically, the chronologi-cal age of five was thesole determinant in decidingwhen children should enterkindergarten. Today, werecognize that children withidentical chronologicalages vary widely in theirsocial, intellectual, andemotional maturity.Studies show that olderkindergartners have a higherpercentage of success inschool than the youngerones. As a group, youngerchildren also experiencemore adjustment problems,which are apt to carry overinto later grades. Generally,girls adjust more successfullythan boys. When there isdoubt about a child'sreadiness, delaying entrancefor a year is a preventivemeasure that can increasethe chances for a successfulkindergarten experience.

68

Your School's Expectations

Some school systems havehigh academic standards.The majority of its pupilsdo above average onstandardized tests and agood percentage dosuperior work. Knowingyour school's academicexpectations for its pupilsis another factor to consider

when deciding whether ornot to send your child tokindergarten as soon as heor she can legally attend.You may want to ask foradvice from your schoolif you are not sure aboutyour child's readiness.

Other Sources of Help

If after much thought, youstill can't make up yourmind, don't hesitate to talkto your child's day care orpreschool teacher, a Sundayschool teacher, thekindergarten teacher atyour school, or a memberof the administrative staff.A professional may haveanother perspective thatwill help you. Someschools have testing orscreening programs forpre-kindergartners thatare useful. Others have awell-developed preschoolprogram that may bethe answer you arelooking for.

At the end of this chapterare two typical forms givento parents whose childrenare about to enterkindergarten. After readingthem, you may have afurther indication of whetheror not your child is ready.

HOW TO PREPARE YOURCHILD FOR SEPARATION

For most children, leavinghome to go to schoolmarks the biggest changein their daily lives since theywere born. It's also a bigchange for parents: Aprecious child is being sentoff to kindergarten. Somechildren take separationday in stride, others havedifficulty. Preschoolexperience is no guaranteethat the adjustment tokindergarten will be easy.There are some "Don'ts" and"Do's" to help you reduceseparation day anxiety.

aloft

69

DON'T...1. Don't build up the first day

in your child's mind as if itwere a tremendous event.Be eager for your child, butdon't continually bring it intoyour conversation. Let yourchild bring it up. Treat goingto kindergarten as a normaloccurrence.

2. Don't allow older siblings orneighbor children to tease oralarm your five-year-old aboutschool. Older children liketo turn teachers and principalsinto ogres.

3. Don't be overly znxious.Your anxiety is contagiousand will reflect in your child.

4. On the first day of school,don't stay in your child'sclassroom or hallway. If you'vewalked your child to school, say"good-bye" at the classroomdoor. Don't linger. If your childtakes a bus, say "good-bye" atthe bus stop.

5. Don't let your child feel thereis a choice about going toschool. Don't engage indiscussions about it. Be natural,but firm in tone. Be supportiveand reassuring.

DO1 Explain to your child what

you will be doing duringschool hours. Emphasize yourcustomary activity, includingwork outside the home.

2. Explain beforehand what yourchild should expea to happenat school. A pre-first day visitto meet the teacher and seeth,! classroom will helpalleviate anxiety.

3. Explain what to do aboutgoing to the bathroom at school.

4. Answer all your child's questionsabout school honestly.

5. Explain how long thekindergarten day is.

6. Explain carefully how your childwill get to and from school.

7. Tell your child where you willbe when kindergarten is over.

8. Too much discussion can createanxiety. Let your child initiateconversation about kindergarten

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.:73 71

LOOKING TO THE FUTURE

The first day of schoolmarks a significant changein the daily routine for bothyou and your child. Someparents find the separation

difficult. Others, take thechange in stride. For theirchildren, it marks the firststep of an adventure intothe joy of learning andpreparation for adulthood.

PARENT INFORMATION FORMChild's Name

Birthdate

The age your child began walking:

The age your child first began to speak:

First words

Two or more words together

Sentences

Speaks clearly, consistent with other childrenthe same age?

yes EnoIs your child easily able to:

1. Make sounds? 0 yes E no2. Put words together? 0 yes D no

The language(s) most frequentlyspoken in your home is:

Does your child:

El Sing little songs or commercials

O Pay attention to what you say or do most of the time?

O Seem to be restless or fidgety most of the time?

O Seem to be happy most of the time?

Say "I can't" without trying?

73

74

O Lose control of his or her temper often?

El Speak in long sentences?

O Play well with other children most of the time?

Get upset easily?

How old are your child's favorite playmates?(Note any relationships)

How does your child usually get along with his or herbrothers and sister:2

Does your child have any special fears(dogs, darkness, etc.)?

Do you have any special concerns about your child?

Does anyone have the opportunity to read storiesto your child?

Who?

e

Is your child exposed to reading material?

What TV shows does your child watch?

How many hours a day does your child watch TV?

Has your child ever been to a nursery schoolor day care center?

Where?

When (how long)?

Does your child know colors? Shapes?

Can your child identify numbers out of sequence?

Can your child count objects up to 10?

Can your child identify letters out of sequence?

Can your child read?

75

Is there any other information that will help usunderstand your child?

Thank you for your time and patiencein filling out this form.

c,

3

76

PARENT'S CHECKLISTThe following is a checklist for your personal use.Many of the statements may be applicable for your childat the present time, while other statements will applyafter your child has entered school. Continue to checkthese items periodically to help you see your child as acurrent or future kindergarten student and to give you anopportunity to help him or her improve in certain areas.

Does your child:

CI 1. Have name labels in all of his or her belongings?

CI 2. Know his or her name and address?

CI 3. Know how to tie his or her shoes?

O 4. Know his or her left and right hand?

O 5. Put things away after work and play?

O 6. Play with others part of the day?

CI 7. Play alone part of the day?

O 8. Watch too much TV?

CI 9. Get enough sleep?

CI 10. Remember to bring notes to school promptly?

CI 11. Play away from the strect?

O 12. Cross the street only at the corner?

C1 13. Play well with others-waiting turn-taking rightful turn?

0 14. Accept a certain amount of defeatwithout crying or sulking?

7 9 77

O 15. Come promptly when you call?

O 16. Seem happy most of the time?

O 17. Take justified criticism gracefully?

18. Play without coming to you to solvehis or her problems most of the time?

O 19. Have many opportunities to draw pictures?

O 20. Know how to cut with a scissors?

O 21. Know how to paste neatly?

El 22. Ask questions about many things he or she sees?

O 23.

O 24.

O 25.

O 26.

O 27.

O 28.

O 29.

Have the opportunity to go to interesting places?

Speak distinctly and is understood by others?

Use new words he or she hears?

Seem to see and hear well?

Like to make things?

Like books? Can he or she interpret the pictures?

Retell stories or recite poems or songsheard at school?

O 30. Talk about interesting topics discussed at school?

E.] 31. Sit and listen 5 to 10 minutes withoutrestlessness?

0 32 Play games involving numbers?

33. have a sense of humor and laugh easily?

Keep this list aftcr checking the items.These reminders are just to help youunderstand your child's development.

FUN BOOKS TO READ WITH YOUR CHILD

A Book of Hugs by Dave Ross

Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?by Bill Martin, Jr.

Caps for Sale by Esphyr Slobodkina

Corduroy by Don Freeman

Curious George by H. A. Rey

Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown

Mother Goose Nursery Rhymesby Super Chubby Books

Peanut Butter and Jelly: A Play Rhymeby Nadine B. Westcott

Shoes from Grandpa by Mem Fox

The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats

Swimmy by Leo Lionni

Me Tale of Peter Rabbit by Beatrix Potter

There's No Place Like Home by Marc Brown

A Treasury of Mother Goose Rhymesillustrated by Hilda Offen

The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle

r 79

Sb. er -ec

'"

A

Cor more than 40 years, authors Trudy Weiss andFlorence Karnofsky have taught hundreds of children

in the elementary grades-from ail economic levels andunder a variety of educational philosophies.

Based on their observations of children who dowell in school (and those who do not), the authors haveconcluded that no miracle teacher, model school, oradvanced technology will help children succeed inschool as much as the simple, positive efforts of thechildren's parents

In writing the Smart Kids, Better Grades series, the authorshave set out to help parents improve their children'sperformance in school Each of the three books in theseries contains hundreds of simple suggestions to helpbring out the best in your child, help develop your child'slistening ability, and increase concentration andcomprehension-helping your child become a betterreader, thinker, and communicator

Other Books A\ ailable in theSmart Kids, Better Grades Sehes

How to Make Your Childa Better Listener

How to Improve Your Child'sLanguage & Thinking Skills 0 25768 00932 4