DO NOW – 10/8/15• How would you improve this sentence?

Jorge couldn’t breath—the pain in his head made him lie on the ground.

Revision: Jorge coughed hoarsely—pain pulsed in his head, and he crumpled to the ground.

Topic / Objective & Essential Question

• Topic / Objective: • 1) To practice using dialog to increase reader

interest.

• Essential Question: • 1) How can I improve my story by adding

dialog?

Make your writing “N.A.S.T.Y”

1) Names. 2) Actions.3) Senses.4) Talking.5) WhY does this matter?

Make your writing “N.A.S.T.Y”

1) Names – Add names to things. Strive for proper nouns first (a “747” instead of a “plane”), and then revise for more descriptive nouns.

What are descriptive nouns?

* Descriptive nouns are nouns (persons, places, things, ideas) that have details built-in.

Which is more descriptive?

1) Fruit

or

2) Apple

Make your writing “N.A.S.T.Y”

2) Actions – Change simple verbs to descriptive, “action” verbs.

Action Verbs – Which is better?

Susy ran over to her father and lifted him up from the floor.

Q: Why are “ran” and “lifted” better verbs than “went” and “helped”?

Yesterday, you practiced adding details by using adjectives

TURN AND TALK (2 MIN)

Q: What was challenging (or not) about adding adjectives to describe objects?

When adding sensory details (adjectives) . . .

1) Always go in order of N.A.S. . . . – revise for names, then action verbs . . . Only THEN add adjectives.

EXAMPLE: The boy picked up the flower with yellow, waxy petals.

• The boy plucked the tulip.

When adding sensory details (adjectives) . . .

2) Even better, combine naming, action verbs, and adjectives to create vivid sentences.

EXAMPLE: Johnny, a tall boy with greasy hair, plucked a tulip from the ground. He liked its yellow, waxy petals.

T is for talking.

1) Names. 2) Actions.3) Senses.4) Talking.5) WhY does this matter?

Listen to the following examples:

Q: Which one is more effective at creating emotion?

1) The father spoke to his son. He said that his mother would only have a few more days to live. The son said that he was lying. Mom couldn’t possibly die.

Q: Which one is more effective at creating emotion?

The father spoke to his son. “I need to tell you something. You’re not going to like it. But, I need you to be strong . . . One day, you’ll be a man, a father even, and you’ll have to learn that these things happen.”

“I don’t understand,” the boy said. His eyes filled with water. “I don’t understand.”

“It’s about Mom . . . I . . . I’m just going to say it. She only has a few days left, and we need to see her before she goes away.”

“I don’t believe you! You’re lying! Mom is OK. She’s fine . . . I know she’s fine. You’re lying, Daddy, why would you say that?”

Think about what you just heard:

In Cornell Notes, take two minutes and write down why you think one example is better than the other – MORE IMPORTANTLY, EXPLAIN why one was better at creating emotion.

Dialog Creates Drama

1) Dialog helps to “show” what characters are feeling and thinking.

2) Skilled writers use dialog toemphasize important scenes in a story.

3) We use dialog tags such as ‘he said’ to show who is speaking at a given time.

When using dialog . . .

1) Always begin a new line when a new person is speaking. Use dialog tags at the beginning or end of a sentence.

Example:

“I think you need to check the oven,” said the husband.“It’s fine . . . we still have ten minutes,” his wife replied.

Let’s add dialog to Rory’s story.

“I’m so glad to see you . . . How are you doing, Rory?” said his teacher.

“I’m fine.”

“Listen, you let me know if you need anything. I’m so, so sorry about your Mom.” She hugged him. “I’m here for you, OK?”

He did not respond.