dmi productions · 2018-03-27 · ‘Cockney Rhyming Slang’ – Iced tea isn’t popular here. Have you ever heard of, or begun to understand ‘Cockney Rhyming Slang’? If not,

Facts you need to know about High Definition!

Ah, yes; England. Or “This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England”, as little Billy Shakespeare put it. He was a lad alright, but he never got round to writing this wee summary of the country’s quirks. So here’s a brief guide, perfect for those travelling from across the pond, but also as fun for all and all for fun!

When someone yells at you to “Get on the pavement”, they mean the sidewalk. This is not to be confused with the actual street, near Clapham Common, called

‘The Pavement’.

If, at around 6pm, someone’s mom – that’s ‘mum’ over here – asks you what you want for tea, she’ll look at you funny if you say “Earl Grey”. She means

‘What would you like for dinner?’ At any other time of day when ‘tea’ is offered, the Brits almost certainly mean a hot cup of tea – or ‘Rosie Lee’ as they say in

‘Cockney Rhyming Slang’ – Iced tea isn’t popular here.

Have you ever heard of, or begun to understand ‘Cockney Rhyming Slang’?If not, you have to keep reading – it’s nuts!

If you walk into a store and ask where the pants are, they will direct you to the

men’s underwear section. Pants are called trousers over here.

The London Underground is the subterranean train system, a.k.a. ‘The Tube’. However, about 55% of the network runs above the ground! Trains, meanwhile, are part of the official over ground railway and go all over the country. They’re

more expensive and your travel permit – called an Oyster card – isn’t always valid, which they only seem to tell you as they fine you £50…

When you hear a polite ‘Mind the gap’ announcement on the tube, pay attention: most of these ‘gaps’ are like canyons.

8The Metro is a free morning paper in London. There seems to be some sort of cachet in getting a new copy fresh from the stand, even though there are dozens of discarded ones on the actual train carriage. You’ll see it littered around with headlines like “Old Chopstick Removed from Stomach”, “Dwarf Rescued by Pet Chihuahua” and “Mortgage Drop off Sees Inflation Rate Hit Zero”.

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Staying on this topic, you should know that, in the summer time, boarding a tube train is the equivalent of walking into an oven. They have no air conditioning and the London Mayor’s Office recommends carrying water with you to avoid fainting.

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24 FUN FACTSABOUT ENGLAND

(For our Transatlantic chums and those baffled by

‘Rhyming Slang’)1

www.dmiproductions.co.uk

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9Trains and tubes are almost never on time and the public address will often tell you in absurd or graphic detail why they’re late. Don’t be surprised if you hear it’s because a “Badger ate a junction box at New Malden” or “Due to a person under the train at Liverpool Street”. It seems to be okay if the services run late, so long as there’s an explanation why… And it can be any explanation!

Speaking of which, tabloids here are full of celebrities you won’t know. Most of them have been on ‘Big Brother’ at one point and are simply looking to extend

their 15 minutes of fame – by any means possible.

Buckingham Palace is kinda out of the way; you can’t just turn the corner and run into it like you can with the Empire State building.

There are hardly any skyscrapers here, and most of them are in Canary Wharf.

13Contrary to popular belief, most people do not sound like Hugh Grant here, although, if you do see him, you might notice he looks much older in person.

14Glamour models are basically the same thing as Playboy Bunnies except they’re slightly trashier, much more famous and invari-ably appear on page 3 of a tabloid newspaper called ‘The Sun’.

Sadly, it does seem people jump under tube trains about once a week. Peak jumping time is 11:00am, and ‘one-unders’, as they’re called, are most common at Victoria and King’s Cross stations. People waiting to throw themselves under

trains on the Northern Line, meanwhile, are more likely to die of old age.

When you get on the Gatwick Express, make sure you don’t inadvertently get into a 1st class carriage without a 1st class ticket. They will kick you off, no matter

how much luggage you have!

Don’t be offended if someone offers you spotted dick at dinner. It’s a dessert; like a suet pudding. And if you don’t know what ‘suet’ is, all you need to know is that

you should give it a miss. Seriously.



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In the words of Bridget Jones: “Stop Drinking. Full stop!”. That’s ’cos ‘full stop’ means ‘period’… Period over here means that time of the month. If you say

“Period!” it will probably make people baffled or uncomfortable.

Some of your favorite American TV shows have probably originated here –‘The Office’ and ‘Deal or No Deal’, for example – so take care when proclaiming them

the best American shows ever made.

Mini cabs. Ahh, yes, the mini cab… This is not one of those iconic black taxis you see in the movies. It’s usually a guy in a car that looks like it just placed third in a Demolition Derby. He’ll take you anywhere for an agreed price, although they

have about as much idea of how to get where you’re going as you do. They’re usually cheaper than Black cabs, but aren’t supposed to pick people up off the

street.

Black cabs, meanwhile, are the iconic taxis you see on T.V.! The drivers have to study for years in order to get a license; they need to know every street in London

by heart – so they’re like human sat. nav’s! They can pick you up off the street and the coolest part is you can fit 5 people in a black cab – and sit backwards!

The word ‘knackered’ means tired. “I’m so knackered from last night”.

When someone here says they’ll “Put it in the diary”, they don’t mean the one where they talked about their crush on little Kelly Saunders when they were 16.

It’s what they call their calendar/day timer thingy.

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WAG: It took DMI’s Stephanie 3 weeks to figure out what this means, even though it’s in the tabloid newspapers nearly every day. It’s pronounced wag, like a dog’s tail does, and stands for ‘Wives and girlfriends’. These are the ladies that date footballers or other athletes; people such as ‘Posh Spice’. Many of the WAGs are a bit trashy; very often seeming to be ‘Page 3 girls’. See also, 14. Glamour Model.

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Finally, you’ll recall we mentioned ‘Cockney rhyming slang’, right? Well, here we go – be warned, though, it takes a bit of explaining! First, a ‘Cockney’ is a person born within earshot of ‘The Bow Bell’; in other words, they’re able to hear the sound of a bell that rings in St. Mary-le-Bow church. This area is widely accepted as the East End of London. With it so far? Okay...

Now, the exact reason these Cockneys have their own slang is a bit of a mystery, but it may be that they originally used it as a code, to deliberately confuse strangers. Whatever its origin, the rhyming slang has also found its way into other parts of the country, too! Consequently you will, from time to time, hear a phrase that sounds like complete nonsense that people just seem to take in their stride...

The slang itself substitutes one or two words in a sentence for a few others, some of which merely rhyme with the missing ones. Still with it? Alright... Here’s where it gets really silly – the words that rhyme are then sometimes – but not always – dropped!

So let’s walk through an example, imagining we want to say: “I went down the road for a couple of drinks in the pub”. The slang for road is ‘Frog and toad’; for drinks it’s ‘tiddlywinks’ and pub is ‘Rub-a-dub-dub’. So “I went down the road for a couple of drinks in the pub” becomes: “I went down the frog for a couple of tiddlys in the rub-a-dub”! Got it?

Well, if you followed all that, you’ll find below a sample of some of the more common terms. Just keep your jugs peeled while you’re having a rabbit and the best of friar, mate!

Adam and Eve BelieveAirs and graces FacesAlligator LaterAlmond rocks SocksAndy Cain Rain’apenny dip ShipApple fritter BitterApples and pears StairsApril showers Flowers (also Early hours)Aristotle BottleArmy and Navy GravyArtful Dodger LodgerAuntie Ella Umbrella

Babbling brook Cook / CrookBacon and eggs LegsBall of chalk WalkBand of Hope Soap (also Cape of Good Hope)Barnet Fair HairBattle cruiser BoozerBees and Honey MoneyBiscuits and cheese KneesBoat race FaceBo Peep Sleep



Cockney rhyming slang – a short dictionary – there are dozens more!

Boracic lint SkintBritney Spears BeersBread and butter GutterBrussels sprouts ScoutsBucket and pail JailBurnt cinder WindowButcher’s hook Look

Cain and Abel TableCaptain Cook BookCash and carried Married (also Cut and carried)Cat and mouse HouseChalk farm ArmCheery Hogg DogChevy Chase FaceChina plate MateCountry cousin DozenCrust of bread HeadCustard and jelly Telly (Television)

Daisy roots BootsDog and bone PhoneDuchess of Fife (Old Dutch) Wife (Trouble and strife; Carving knife)Duchess of York ForkDustbin lids Kids

Earwig Twig – understandEighteen pence SenseElephant’s trunk Drunk

Field of wheat StreetFine and dandy BrandyFisherman’s daughter WaterFriar Tuck LuckFrog and toad Road

German bands HandsGlasgow Rangers StrangersGrasshopper CopperGreengages Wages

Hampstead Heath TeethHarvey Nichols PicklesHearts of Oak BrokeHit and miss Kiss

Iron tank BankIsle of Wight RightI suppose Nose



Jack Jones AloneJack the Ripper KipperJam jar Car (also La-di-dah)Jimmy Riddle PiddleJug of beer Ear

Kate and Sydney Steak and kidneyKate Karney ArmyKidney punch Lunch

Linen draper PaperLoaf of bread HeadLion’s lair ChairLord Mayor SwearLucy locket Pocket

Macaroni Pony (£25)Mickey Mouse House (Theatre)Mince pies EyesMonkeys’ tails NailsMutt and Jeff Deaf

Nanny goat CoatNewington butts GutsNoah’s ark ParkNorth and South Mouth

Oily rag Fag (cigarette)Oliver twist FistOn the floor PoorOxford scholar Dollar

Peas in the pot HotPen and ink StinkPig’s ear BeerPlates of meat FeetPot and pan ManPotatoes in the mould Cold

Rabbit and pork TalkRead and write FightRosie Lee Tea (also You and me)Round the houses TrousersRub-a-dub-dub Pub

Salmon and Trout StoutSausage and mash CashSkin and blister Sister



Sky rocket PocketStand at ease Cheese

Tea leaf ThiefTiddlywinks DrinksTit for tat HatTom and Dick SickTwo and eight State

Uncle Bert ShirtUncle Fred Bread

Weeping willow PillowWeasel and stoat CoatWhistle and flute Suit

The boys and girls of DMI do an awful lot of research to bring the very best advice they can on any given subject. However, no responsibility can be accepted for the consequences of any action or inaction based on DMI’s Info Sheets. The material herein is also protected by copyright, 2009. That might sound like we’re padlocking a dustbin, but remember: it’s our padlock… and it’s our dustbin!



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dmi productions · 2018-03-27 · ‘Cockney Rhyming Slang’ – Iced tea isn’t popular here. Have you ever heard of, or begun to understand ‘Cockney Rhyming Slang’? If not,