Disruptive Behavior Policies

8/6/2019 Disruptive Behavior Policies

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GUIDELINES, POLICIES .


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Disruptive Behavior andThe M iracle of ChangeWhat is D isruptive Behavior? W ebster's D ictionary defines disruptive as caudisruption; a lternatively, produced by disruption. The defin ition for disruptionfact or state of being disruptive. W ebster defines Behavior as a m atter of behaconduct; manners; the carriage of oneself w ith respect of proprietary m orals.a dd th ese two defin itions together, we find that in essence we have a disruptcaused by ones own moral respects. As recovering addicts and alcoholics,have learned that w e m ust em ploy certain restra in ts on ourselves in order to prothe M iracle of Change. Change is any varia tion or alteration in form , state, qor . essence. With the w illingness of change established we can now analyzeascertain our recovery program . Many of us have chosen the use of AA or Nprogram s to teach us that principals are m ore im portant than personalities.of us have chosen alternative m ethods of recovery such as the use of a psychior the Church. W hat is important her is the realization that we are only humantherefore capable of em otional m orals. W e m ust constantly rem ind ourselvesput the princip le over the ir personality.In an Oxford House environment, we learn that we must put our be havio rs aem otions aside so the benefit resides w ithin the house. The Oxford Princip leconstructed on a democratic basis. The welfare of the house must a lways beIn a d emocratic e nvironme nt, we m ust put hum an emotions and opin ions asideconcentrate on the princip les that the house is built on. This is the basis of orecovery. This is w hy we learn to em ploy human morals such as H um ility, O penand Truth in our everyday lives. The individual personal conflicts that erupt wthe house are not dangerous unless the group conscience of the house is jeopardIf these m atters cannot be solved, then the alternative is a House C ontract.contract is not m eant to be a punishm ent, but a "toor to enable the person to cobehaviors. The contract is a sim ple set of rules in order to obta in a positive rIts presence also m ake a statem ent saying "hey. we care" to the individual. TOxford life-sty le , in general, is a supporting factor to our recovery. Many of uwould not be able to survive the perils of addiction it was not assured by th e OHouse Concept In conclusion, th is artic le was w ritten as a guide, not as a resen tmor ru le . It is merely pre sented to yo u. th e re ad er, so that you may raise a quesand be able to discuss its contents w ith your fellow housem ates.


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Sample Guidelines for Expulsion From ail Oxford House(Q compilation from several Oxford House Sources)

It is t~ mission.of the chapter to ensure that each Oxford House is providingQ "safe haven"for recoveryThe pnmary vehIcle for ensuring Q safe haven for recovery is by enforcing the importance of livingup tochaners granted to memberhousesby Oxford House,Inc.

In keeping with the Oxford House, Inc. tradition, Chapter One, Washington, DC ac:knowJed~ that thefollowingacts are groundSfor immediateexpulsion;1: Arelapse into the use of alcoholor drugs2. The failure to pay o.nyfees (rent, fines, e+e.) owed.3. The exhibition of disruptive behavior

For the purpose of GeneralRulesof Expulsion,the followingdefinition of -Disruptive Behavior-isused:Disrupti~ beha";or includes participating in any criminal activity such Cl S drug trofficking. prostitution.shop-lifting. Q.SSQUtt,nd theft within the house or any ather activity, whichmay threaten the standingof the Oxford House in the community. In addition, violence or any threat of violence0destruction ofproperty are considered disruptive behcviee,Extubitions of anypart of the above definition of disruptive behavior by members of chartered OxfordHouses should,without question, result inimmediateexpulsion.

Suggested Guidelines for Expulsion1. Mem~rs who relapse or refuse to pay rent, or are guilty or the above definition,of disruptive behaviomust be expelled as quicklyas the house deemsappropriate (a 51 per cent vote of all house membersis neededfor expulsion). In the .cose of behavioral problems, houses should instit1rte systems of fines. probations orwarnings.If there are repeated behavioraloffenses and the house, by democratic vote, deems the behavioralacts ofthe member inconduciveto recovery in the Oxford tradition, then dismissal procedures could take placeThese procedures could includegivinga two-weeknotice and refund of security deposit. Unusedrent is alwayreturned to memberswhoare expelled for whatevu reason.2. Anyhousememberwhofeels he/she is beingunfairly asked to leaveanOxford House,may,withinthe twoweek period prior to lecvin9~appeal to the Chapter HousingService Committeeto mediate the dispute. TheChapter HousingService Committeewil l then suggest a solutionto the fullcommittee for a vote.It should be emphasized that ifat all possible internal conflicts should be workedout' at the Houselevelandbrought to the C~r HousingService Commiffeeonlyas Q last resort.

Disruptive behavior versus behavioraJ problemsThe Scribner EnglishDictionarydefines disruptive as to break or to break apart. Behavior,as the most generalword,epplies to our action in the presence of others. Problemis defined as a difficult matter to be settled oraquestionset forth for solution or discussion.It seems each house decides, based on the healthiness of the recovery in the heuse, what constitutes abehcviomlproblem and what is disruptive.


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M.anychapters and state associations have established guideli~ fo.r disruptive behtMor that constitutpossible expulsion,but some individualsin heuses still makeup their ownself-servinq rules.A behavioral problem coonected to the process of reCt:lverycan be as mundane,as a result of an incompletchore or as significant as isolation; in the midst of the psychologicaltrautna of the fourth step: a personalityeonflict with another lnetnber: an unhealthy relationshill: and any part of our old behQv;ors.Change j~ Q y ita J p c lr t of a healthy recovery_ Chan~ does not imply ihe oilier individualbut you. Each of us iat our ownlevelof growth and ccceptonce - "L ive an d L et L ive - The o ne p ers on ality o efe ct th at we CQn controlis our attitude. We often hear the old adage of drinking of life from a haff empty or a hatf fun alp. Shiftingthe focus on someone else's behavior leaves us void of honesty about ourselves. If you take the "me"out oblame,allyouhave is bla, blc, bla. The onlyinventory weshould be concerned with is our own.Oxford is intended to act as a surrogate family and Q support system, neither a treatment program nordictatorial entity. We have no bosses in Oxford House. It does not mean that someone is not an importanport of the family if for some reason their behavior does not coincidewith you.Oxford Houseshould be a safehaven.Wemust alwaysput principles before personality. The welfare of the entire house and the principles oour tradition should come first. Mnnyof us choose to use a 12-step program. This teaches us that service toother alcoholics and addicts is Q vital part of our ownrecovery. What greater opportunity could we have thathelping (l l"Oommo~exp'ore solutions to their behaviora' problem? We have seen many individualsturn theirlives aroundwhilelivingin an Oxford House.

Suggested Guidelines for Behavior ModificationMIlnyhouses use a contract, fines, and revocation of certain privileges or probation when some one displayrepeated behaviors that could be construed as disruptive to the house as a whole.An example of revoking special priviJeges might be for someone whodoesn't clean upafter themselves in thekitchen or laundry area would lose the use of the kitchen or laundry areas for one week. Fines could be fornon-completionof a chore or a late fee for tardy rent. A contract might be used after warnings or previoudiscussion about a certain behavior that is disrupting the serenity of the house or is putting the individualijeopardy of relapse.The members of the house should write out the offending behaviors and the individualunder contract writesthe means by whichthey willtake to correct it. The contract is intended as a tool to aid the offender, not as apunishment.

Definitions of RelapseRelapse can come in different forms - the easiest one to deal with is the "for sure" relapse when a membercomes inobviOUSlyntoxicated or high ondrugs and admits relapse. Because there is nodenial to dealwith, theother members have the tjme to Ct:lncentrate on getting help for this resident. Howe'ler, there are moredifficult types of relapse - manyrelepses can only be discerned by lookingat behavior change - late paymenof rent - lapse in doing chores - argumentative 0 1 " isolating behaviors - ar 0 /1 warningsigns. Remember tokeepprincipks above personalities and think with YOlJl" heed and not your heart.Another form of relapse is misusingprescription or over the counter drugs. Drugs must be taken according toprescriptions or directions and residents whoare getting prescriptions should inform the doctor of his/heraddict sta-tus.Another form of relapse is whena rrember is usin9and others kn?W about it and do not blow the whiSTle- inthis case, allwhoare usingand allwhoknew,about it are considered a relapse.


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OXFORD HOUSE MEM8ER CONTRACTFOR

DISRUPTIVE AND IOR R ELA PS E BEHAVIORS AND/OR PATTERNSHouse Name and Location:

length " O f Contract:Member under ContractThis contract represents our concern and responsibilitY as Oxford House members. To help you hyourself. we have observed: . .BehavIors and/or Patterns:1.2.

3.Contract Terms

Step 1Step 2 _Step3 ~ _Step4~ _

t, , acknowledge and accept full responsibil ity for my p. of recovery as outlined In this contract. Being fully aware if I am found negligent of said terms as outlinabove, durlng any tlme of contract length, I am subject to Immediate expulsion from this Oxford Houas well as possible future Oxford House membership.Dated this day of , _

SignatureWe, your housemembers and roommates, friends 1nand for recovery for life, are wiling to go to any tenwith you, not for you.President: Members:Treasurer.Secretary:Comptroller:Coordinator:


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Oxford House Member Contract for Disruptive BehaviorHou~Mem/w under Centrad:. This contract is designed to help you help yourself. Asyour housemates. we have observed the followins behaviorspatterns that are disrupt ing the smooth operation of this House..Disrupt~ Behaviors:1.

The House is asking that you modify your behavior in the fol1owing w~s in order to best faa1itate your recCNery anr e cr ::N e tY o f everyone in the house.Spedk lJehayior Changes :t.2 .

3 .

This contract will be reviewed at each regular house meeting for its' duration and may be modified at any time by amajority vote of the House membership. .Thirty days from the beginning of the contract. the House membership will vote to either:

1. conclude the contract satisfactorily and retain the member2. expel the member for disruptive behavior3. extend ancVor modify the contract and continue it

~" ",,; ", .~ .;;' "''';,0,. '. _ 1t. :. ~ ~: ~ ;:~:tI!Jl .-. .. ~ .~~~... ~ ~.. ;W'.I acknowledge and accept full responsibility for my plan of rect : :Nery as outtined in this contract. I understand and acthat this oontracl' may be mo


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Week 1 Review:

Week 2 Review:

Week 3 Review:

Week. 4 Review:

Contract ended on Date:

A.ction Taken:AdditIonal Ccmments:


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Re: Contracts for Residents

Oxford House is a Membership oJganizalion. A recovering individual appliefor Membershio in an Oxford House. As part of his/her Membership, thindividual agrees to abide by the democratically established rules of the Housand share equally in the expenses of maintaining the House. .' .The Membershio Aoplication FormQ is the only form required for. the safetand protection of every House. The Membership Application Forn i has beentested in Court and found to be enforceable. All Members of Oxford Houseshould have filled out and signed this form when they applied to a' House fomembership.Membership Applications are part of the permanent records that' individuaHouses must keep. The Application Form is the same for all Oxford Houses.Individual Houses are free to place a Member "On Contract" if the Housedeems that the individual Member needs a more structured environment or set orules. Contracts are sometimes useful when dealing with behavioral prabJo.ms.r Contracts may include mandatory attendance at meetings: specify thenumber of meetings, or specify other actions that a member must take omeet in order to achieve or maintain membership in the House.cr.;.:r A House must vote to initiate a contract and document _ts

purpose in the minutes of the House meeting.r Failure to comply with contract terms is valid grounds for dismlssat"r Contracts are strictly a matter between the House and its Members.

. __ '. .J_ p~ Oxford House, Inc. does not sanction or provide suggested terms fomember contracts.Houses and Chapters are free to devise new or modify forms, which they mayfind useful or wish to use. The National Services Office always welcomes copiesof any special forms or suggestions that could improve existing forms.

Please note the following:


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Q. When a member is expelled and owes money to the House, can theHouse keep the member'sunused "share of expenses" paid in advanceand his/her Sobriety Depolsit to cover unpaid bills?

A. By law a "landlord" must return unused rent to an expelled tenant.However a Member of an' Oxford House is NOT a Tenant in an OxfordHouse. He or she pays his/her share of expenses as a Member of theHouse. It is up to the House to vote on how much of the expelled member's"share of expenses" paid in advance and his or her Sobriety Deposit may beor should be applied to unpaid expenses in accordance with the terms of thesigned Application Form. Fines and other penalties imposed by House Voteprior to the Member being expelled may be considered to be expenses.

Q. Can a House keep an expelled members personal belongings to coverunpaid rent or other bills?

A NO, a House may not keep a member's personal effects to cover unpaid rentor any other bills.~ If a Member is evicted and/or leaves personal effects in the House, the

House is obligated to keep them in a safe place for a reasonable amountof time.

> The House must notify the Member or Contact Person listed on theApplication Form by Certified Mail (Return Receiot Requested) if andwhen the House intends to dispose of personal property. Indicate whenthe House plans to act (minimum 2 weeks notice).

> Warning: If the House sells a Member's property, the Member is entitledto the cash proceeds.

~ If you must pack-up a Member's personal effects, do it with a witness anddocument what you have done and why in the minutes of the next Housemeeting.

Oxford House, Inc. subscribes to the KISS rule. We have only THREE rulesfor Member Houses. However, these three rules are absolute:

1. An Oxford House must be self-run and self-supportinq.2. An Oxford House must have democratically elected officers.3. An Oxford House must expel immediately any member who relapses.


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Conflict Resolution in the Oxford House

Youare in your room watching TV; all of a sudden you hear screaming an dye llin g com in g from the livin g room . Y ou r hea r t sta r ts be a tin g fa st be c a u seyou knowyou are the President of your house and will be expected to handlethis situation. You never liked conflict so how do you deal with this.

1. Don't try to fix it yourself. Call a meeting immediately. There ispower in the group conscience.

2. Let the house knowyou are going to mediate this situation.3. Ask 'the individuals to stop speaking to each other and to beginaddressing you the mediator.4. Lay the ground rules. They are as follows: Each person has fiveuninterrupted minutes to speak to the group about what there issueis.

5. At this point the mediator should summarize what the problem is.Make sure what you have stated is correct with that individual.

6. Ask the members of the house to share their experience, strength.and hope about this situation.

7. The house as a whole should come up with a game plan on how toresolve this dispute. Keeping in mind that everyone has positiveaspects to their personality. Everyone should share somethingpositive about each individual in the conflict.

8. Always remember "get out of the problem and into the solution"

Violent Behavior is grounds for eviction.


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ForgivenessVery few people know how to apolog ize , while fewer still know how to acceptan apology. Since we are human and make mistakes, an important skill toknow is how to apologize. Four rules are recommended:1. Do it as soon as possible .. The longer you waj.t the harder it is becausethe more you can imagine ways your apology ~ight.be turned againstyou.

2. Be specific about the behavior you are, apologizing for, not like a .Washington politician: IIIfI did anything wrong ..." Rather "When you...when I ...r did not think ... etc." Take time describing the specificbehavior.

3. Tell your feelings about the event and your feelings now. IIIamembarrassed to think about how thoughtless that was ..."

4. Tell how that is not like your usual or typical behavior. so you end byaffirming yourself. Secondly, when accepting an apology: Do not say:Iam glad you finally see your mistake, or it's about time, or Iam stillhurting ... and other shoot-from-the-hip statements that aggravatethe tension. So, if you can honestly do so, either simply "OK, let's geton with our work (life, relationship, wherever)." or better, "I am sorryfor my part also."

A good definition of forgiveness, by psychologist Robert Enright is: "Giving up the resentment to which you are entitled. and offering tothe persons who hurt you friendlier attitudes to which they are notenfirled."

Those who refuse to forgive carry the 'ghost' of the hurtful person and giveaway their own power to this memory. Without doubt, those with whom onechooses to remain angry will continue to control one, even when andparticularly when one denies this is so. Those who have not resolvedconflicts with family members willcarry that garbage into their currentrelationships even though they may be blind to the fact. I have seen itrepeatedly. Whatever is repressed is bound to be repeated. Resentmentlimits one's emotional, physical and spiritual development.

Documents

Disruptive Behavior Policies