Definition of Conflict Conflict is an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce rewards, and interference from the other party in achieving those goals.

Eastern Civilization

Western Civilization

Machiavellian

“It is better to be feared than loved.”

Conflict Styles

Nonassertive behavior (Avoidance)Indirect Communication (The Hint)Passive Aggression (Crazymaking) Direct Aggression (A Time to Kill)Assertion Without Aggression

(The Clear Message Format)

Clear Message Format

BehaviorInterpretationFeelingConsequence Intention

Behavior

Describe event without interpretationDescribe problem without emotive

languageAvoid judgmental languageObjective toneWHAT HAPPENED?

Interpretation

“I thought”Your interpretationSubjective toneHOW YOU SEE IT

Feeling

“I felt”Adjectives that accurately

describe your feelings.SubjectiveOwn your feelings

Consequence

What happens to you?What happens to the person you are

addressing?What happens to others?What happens to the circumstances?Objective tone

Intention

Where you stand on the issueRequests of othersDescription of how you are going

to act in the future

Win-Win Problem Solving

A Systematic Approach

Identify the problem

Identify YOUR problem and unmet needs

The problem is yours; what are the unmet needs that make you feel the way you do?

Make a Date to Meet

Describe Your Problem and Needs

Partner Checks Back

Make sure you are understood

FEEDBACK

Solicit Partner’s Needs

Check your understanding

FEEDBACK

Negotiate a Solution

Generate a number of solutionsEvaluate themDecide on the best

Follow up

Implement and check back