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Dealing with… Difficult People. Victoria Lai, Governor Lisa Lotito-Byers, Administrator. D isruptive / Frustrating Behaviors. Hostile- Aggressives Complainers Silent & Unresponsives Super- Agreeables Negativists Know-It-All Experts Indecisives. Coping Skills. - PowerPoint PPT Presentation
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C N H | K E Y C L U B
CNH | Created CNH AdministrationCalifornia-Nevada-Hawaii DistrictAugust 2013
Presented byVictoria Lai, Governor
Lisa Lotito-Byers, Administrator
Dealing with…Difficult People
CNH | Training Topic: Dealing with Difficult PeopleCNH Key Club District
• Hostile-Aggressives• Complainers• Silent & Unresponsives• Super-Agreeables• Negativists• Know-It-All Experts• Indecisives
Disruptive / Frustrating Behaviors
CNH | Training Topic: Dealing with Difficult PeopleCNH Key Club District
• Enables YOU and Difficult Person to move forward
• Interferes with “successful” functioning of difficult behavior
• Act with purpose to balance power
Coping Skills
CNH | Training Topic: Dealing with Difficult PeopleCNH Key Club District
Don’t get dragged down• “Misery loves company” Be aware
and keep your guard up!
Listen• Tempting but will not stop
them
Tips
CNH | Training Topic: Dealing with Difficult PeopleCNH Key Club District
Use a time limit for venting• 5 minute rule• Perpetual pessimist vs.
occasional vent
Don’t Agree• Tempting to appease don’t• Adds fuel to the flames
CNH | Training Topic: Dealing with Difficult PeopleCNH Key Club District
Don’t stay silent• Silence = Agreement
Do switch extremes into facts• Negative people often
speak in extreme terms switch them to fact-based statements
• Sometimes ≠ always
CNH | Training Topic: Dealing with Difficult PeopleCNH Key Club District
Move to problem solving• People who whine often feel
powerless & that situation is hopeless
• End their negativity… help them move into problem solving mode
CNH | Training Topic: Dealing with Difficult PeopleCNH Key Club District
Cut them off• Hopelessly negative people need to be
cut offCAUTION• Make sure they aren’t just venting over
the limit• Make sure you weren’t encouraging
them• Make sure they can’t be switched to
problem solving• Politely shut them down
CNH | Training Topic: Dealing with Difficult PeopleCNH Key Club District
1. Hurting ourselves2. It’s not about you; it’s about them3. Battle of the EGO4. Anger feeds anger; negativity feeds
negativity5. Waste of energy6. Negativity spreads7. Freedom of speech
Why bother controlling our responses?
CNH | Training Topic: Dealing with Difficult PeopleCNH Key Club District
Let’s share our
strategies!
CNH | Training Topic: Dealing with Difficult PeopleCNH Key Club District
More Tips…
CNH | Training Topic: Dealing with Difficult PeopleCNH Key Club District
1. Be calm2. Understand the person’s intention3. Get some perspective from others4. Let the person know where you are coming
from5. Build a rapport6. Treat the person with respect7. Focus on what can be actioned upon8. Ignore9. Escalate to a higher authority for resolution
9 more tips
CNH | Training Topic: Dealing with Difficult PeopleCNH Key Club District
1. Forgive2. Wait it out3. Does it really matter if I am right?4. Don’t respond5. Stop talking about it6. Be in their shoes7. Look for the lessons
and 15 more tips
CNH | Training Topic: Dealing with Difficult PeopleCNH Key Club District
8. Choose to eliminate negative people in your life
9. Become the observer10.Go for the run11.Consider the worst case scenario12.Avoid heated discussions 13.Most important14.Pour honey to counter the poison15.Express it
and 15 more tips
CNH | Training Topic: Dealing with Difficult PeopleCNH Key Club District
Go for the GOLDQuestions?
Further Questions: please contactVictoria Lai [email protected]
Lisa Lotito-Byers [email protected]