Customs and Traditions

Marriage by CaptureMarriage by CaptureThe bride is captured by the groom or his

tribe/clanMay be as a result of war

Marriage by PurchaseMarriage by PurchaseGroom (or his family) pays the bride’s family

a price to acquire her = “brideprice”Or

The Bride’s family pays the groom or his family to marry their daughter = “dowry”

In either situation the money is generally for the use of the women to support her if her husband dies

Marriage for ChoiceMarriage for ChoiceThe Bride and Groom choose one another

freelyMarriage for choice does not necessarily

imply that the marriage is for love

Where Does the Christian Wedding Ceremony Originate?

Christian wedding customs draw heavily from the traditions of ancient Israel and ancient Rome

Ancient Jewish Ancient Jewish WeddingsWeddingsThe Bride was the center of the ceremonyJewish weddings took place in the home of

the Bride

Betrothal:Arranged by the fathers who also settled the

amount of the dowryKetubah agreed upon and signed – at this point

the couple was legally married but did not live together

Usually the betrothal period lasted for a year

The Wedding:Groom and his

friends processed from his house to the home of the bride

Bride was then escorted by her parents and bridesmaids to the groom’s house

The bride and groom sponsored a large feast for family and friends – this could last for several days Wedding at Cana

John August Swannson

Ancient Roman WeddingsArranged by fathers of bride and groomBetrothal – a promise to marry made before

relatives and friends. The bride received a ring as part of the ceremony

Ancient Roman wedding ring

Before the wedding ceremony, the bride offered her toys at an altar to the family gods

Brides wore a white dress with a red or orange veil crowned with flowers

Bride was presented to the groom by her matron of honor

Priests offered a sacrifice to ascertain if the marriage would be happy and fertile

Wedding contract was read aloud

Bride’s family hosted wedding party

Bride and groom were escorted to groom’s house

Early Christian Early Christian WeddingsWeddingsFollowed the Roman practice but omitted

customs not compatible with Christian moral teachings

Forbade divorceCouple was usually blessed by their parish

priest on the Sunday following the ceremony – origin of the Nuptial Blessing

Weddings in the Early Weddings in the Early Middle AgesMiddle AgesAfter Fall of Roman

Empire, the Christian Church began to register marriages in parish books

Became more common for the wedding ceremony to take place at the parish church rather than at home

Religious symbols began to have a larger role in weddings

The priest became the official witness that the marriage had taken place – but the sacrament was performed by the couple

A couple could exchange vows privately without any witnesses

The wedding ceremony was always followed by a banquet

Weddings in the Late Weddings in the Late Middle AgesMiddle AgesMarriage was a legal affair which united two

familiesThe custom began of the parents “giving the

daughter away” as part of the Church ceremonyA dowry was importantThere were no special wedding clothes – but

white was not worn by bridesBrides never wore veils – they wore their hair

loose with perhaps a wreath of flowers over itThe exchange of vows took place on the church

porch, followed by Mass inside the church

GiftsThe bride provided a

dowryShe also provided the

linens and other essentials for the home

The groom provided the home

It was a tradition for the groom to offer the bride a gift on the morning after the wedding – usually a piece of valuable jewelry

RenaissanceRenaissance

Botticelli’s Wedding Banquet

Protestant Protestant ReformationReformation

The Reformers did not consider marriage to be a sacrament

In response, the Council of Trent emphasized the sacramental aspect of marriage and its indissolubility

Wedding of Martin Luther and Katharina von Bora

Post-Tridentine Post-Tridentine CatholicismCatholicismFor a marriage to be

valid, the exchange of vows must occur before a priest and two witnesses

Catholics and Protestants marrying one another cannot get married in a church ceremony

The Engagement PeriodOriginally an engagement lasted between 9

and 12 monthsThis as to insure that the bride was not

pregnant by someone other than the groom

Engagement RingsMedieval – to show the woman now “belongs”

to the man860 AD Pope Nicholas I decreed that the

engagement ring must be part of the betrothal process. The ring should be valuable enough to signify the serious intention of the groom to go through with this marriage.

Diamond Engagement RingsAncient Romans

believed that diamonds were sacred to Venus, the goddess of love

The first known diamond engagement ring was given to Mary, Duchess of Burgundy by the Holy Roman Emperor Maximilian I in the 16th century

Wedding RingsOriginated in ancient Egypt as a symbol that

marriage is foreverRomans originally used rings made of iron;

switched to gold or silver in 3rd century ADThe custom of placing the ring on the fourth

finger of the right hand is ancient – there was a belief that a vein went from that finger directly to the heart

This is not a universal custom – many Europeans place the ring on the right hand, as do members of the Orthodox Church

Bridal ShowerIn the Middle Ages, the bride was expected to

provide household linens and other goods when she married – prior to her wedding her friends would gather to help her complete the sewing of these

By the 1800’s it was a custom to have a party for brides where her friends gifted her with the things she needed to provide for her home

A tradition says that the term “shower” came from a party where the bride’s friends put gifts into an umbrella then opened it over the bride so that the gifts “showered” down onto her

Bachelor PartyOriginated in ancient

Sparta where men lived in barracks with their comrades

On the night before his wedding, his friends gave him a party to wish him good luck

It gave the groom one last opportunity to be with his friends and swear them continued allegiance

White Wedding Dress

Ancient Greeks brides wore white – as did all members of the wedding party. White symbolized joy.

Roman brides wore whiteThroughout the Middle Ages, brides wore any

color they wished, although wedding clothes for both the bride and groom often were banded in blue which symbolized loyalty

Anne of Brittany (1499) was the first bride since ancient times to wear a white dress – but the custom did not catch on

Queen Victoria of England wore a white dress for her marriage to Prince Albert in 1840 – this set a trend and white dresses became popular from this time on Queen Victoria

Wedding Portrait

Wedding Veil

Roman brides wore a red, orange or yellow veil which was believed to chase away evil spirits who were attracted to weddings

Ancient Jewish brides wore a veil to symbolize the purity and modesty of the bride and that no man other than her new husband had the right to see her face

In many ancient cultures, married women always were veiled in public – wearing a veil was symbolic of being married

In the Middle ages, brides wore their hair loose at their weddings without any covering as a symbol of their virginity

The wedding veil became popular in the 19th century

According to legend, George Washington’s grand-daughter Nellie Custis was the first to wear a lace veil at her wedding to Lawrence Lewis Eleanor Custis Lewis

Weddings on SaturdayEarly Christians married on SundayEnglish Puritans believed it was

inappropriate to marry on Sunday, because it was the Lord’s Day

Most Puritan weddings took place on Saturday – and this custom became widespread in the United States

Giving the Bride AwayThrough the 18th century this was symbolic of

the woman’s change of ownership – from her father to her husband

In some cultures and religions both the bride and groom are escorted to the altar by their parents – symbolic of their beginning a new family

The Bride Standing on the Groom’s LeftFrom when marriages were commonly by

capture or in the Middle Ages when someone else might try to capture an heiress before her wedding

It enabled a right-handed groom to easily reach his sword if anyone objected to the wedding

BridesmaidsIn ancient Rome, a

bride had 10 of her friends who dressed similar to her to confuse evil spirits

In Middle Ages they helped the bride at the wedding

In Britain, the bridesmaids are young girls – usually relatives of the bride

English bridesmaids

FlowersBrides have carried flowers in almost all

cultures and time periodsSometimes the flowers have symbolic

meaningsThe groom’s boutonniere is a carry-over from

the Medieval practice of a knight wearing his lady’s colors to display his love for her

Throwing the Bouquet and GarterIn ancient Rome,

anything touched by the bride on her wedding day was considered to be lucky

The custom of throwing a garter (Medieval women had several – they held her stockings up) was to keep the men from tearing them off because they were considered good luck!

The Wedding CakeIn Ancient Roman wedding ceremonies the bride

and groom shared a wheat cake that had been blessed by the priests – this was to insure fertility

In the Middle Ages guests brought small cakes to the wedding and piled them on a table – the bride and groom were urged to reach across the cakes to kiss one another

In England, wedding cakes are traditionally fruitcakes – the nuts and dried fruits symbolize fertility

Cutting the wedding cake together symbolizes the shared future of the newly married couple

Typical Medieval Wedding Cake

Throwing Rice or Flower PetalsSymbolizes fertilityWhat is thrown

varies by culture:Rice = ChinaWheat = northern

EuropeHard candy – ItalyNuts – Eastern

Europe

Carrying the Bride over the ThresholdAncient = remnant

of a time when many brides were captured

Europe – unlucky if the bride stumbled the first time she entered her new home

The HoneymoonIn the Middle Ages, the bride and groom

often did not know one another well before their marriage, so this was a chance to get to know one anohter

Since Biblical times, a newly married couple were given time away from societal obligations (mostly military for the man) to begin a new family